Heat of the Desert

Before Safari Bush could drag her guests out of the hotel, Rainbow Dash and Rarity went back to their room to get the desert clothes they had packed. Rarity was reluctant to put on something she described as bland and unsavory, but Dash practically forced it on her, telling her that she’ll survive in more ways than one, which the fashionista decided to take on the chin. When they got dressed for the weather, they finally ventured out into a day in Austallion.

“OOOHHH!! WHAT MISERABLE HEAT!! OH, WHY DID THE MAP HAVE TO SEND US HERE IN THIS DREADFUL PLACE TO BAKE!? I think I might perish where I stand. Oh, Celestia! Have mercy on my waning soul!”

“Uh…Rarity?” Rainbow Dash said. “We just walked out the door.” Indeed, they had taken mere steps out of the Billabong’s front doors, and the posh pony was already feeling the heat.

Safari Bush shook her head. “Ya gonna last about as long as a joey in a dingo’s jaws if ya keep that up, love. Pull ya’self together!”

Rarity Smiled sheepishly before taking a swig of her water and pulling herself back to her hooves. She cleared her throat. “Er…yes, of course. Shall we?”

Rainbow Dash and Safari Bush rolled their eyes. “Please.” Dash said.

“Right then.” Safari said. The sandy roads lining the town around its structures felt like the soil the two were used to feeling under their hooves in Ponyville, but much looser and intensely heated by the blazing sun. If they didn’t know any better, they would have sworn that they were walking through destroyed, desolated version of their dear home, and yet everypony around them crowding the streets went about their business as happily as though Pinkie Pie had thrown a party out there.

Everywhere Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked, they saw ponies doing all sorts of things that were pretty new to them. They noticed right away that everypony’s laundry was hung outside to dry. Safari Bush explained that they did that as opposed to using a dryer so as to save power, and it was a quick process given how hot it always was there. The clotheslines spanned between the wooden houses that the mares noticed also had some bricked parts of their structure. Looking closely at them, Rarity could tell that they were locally made. However, there a strange material constructing that she didn’t recognize. It was….shined and very smooth, and it reminded her almost of a changeling’s carapace.

“Darling, what might this-”

“Oi! Get off o’ that!” They suddenly heard a stallion call out to them, and then turned to see said stallion trotting up them carrying various carpentry tools. “That’s some delicate stuff, love.”

Rarity backed away from the house that she realized was being constructed. “Oh! So sorry darling.”

“What’s goin’ out here, mate?” They then heard a mare call out, and she came out with another stallion.

“Sorry, mates. Just some touries.” Safari Bush said. She then faced Rainbow Dash and Rarity. “These are Brikkie, Sparkie and Chippie, some o’ the finest builders in the outback!”

“Ow ya goin’?” The first stallion said, who was identified as Chippie.

“G’day, loves!” The mare said, who was Sparkie. She carried the tools of an electrician.

The other stallion, who must have been Brikkie just smiled and nodded at them. Rainbow Dash looked at him. “Not a talker, huh?”

Chippie shook his head. “Not unless yer a brick. When he’s layin’ the bastards down, he’s more of a galah than ya pomie friend here.” He said as he looked at Rarity.

“Eh… Beg pardon?”

Rainbow Dash snickered at his comment. “What are you guys building here anyway?”

Chippie eyed towards Sparkie. “Her gravestone.” He joked.

“Oi!” Sparkie forcefully shoved him as he laughed at himself. “Bloody bastard!” She too found herself laughing, but Rarity found the whole gesture to be rather barbaric. “No. This is gonna be a milk bar. Nothing special.”

“Ooh!” Rarity squeaked. “I do wonder what the milk of Austallion is like! You’ll have to let me know when it’s complete so I can sample some.”

The carpentry team held their mouths so as to hold back laughter. “Crikey! They are really are touries, huh?” Sparkie said.

Safari Bush gave them an authoritative look. “Oi! Go easy on ‘em. This is they’re time here.” She faced her guests. “She meant a convenience store, loves. Just what we call ‘em.”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity just eyed each other and their hosts in confusion. “Umm…..okay. We’ll….keep that in mind.” Dash said.

“Right then! We better be off. Don’t want to keep these three distracted now.” Safari said.

“Oh! Before we leave, might ask what this material is?” Rarity asked, and then rolled her eyes. “If I may be so bold.” She sassed in annoyance.

“Huh? Oh, that?” Chippie said. “It’s uhh…..Brikkie, you got a clue, mate?” he asked. The silent stallion inspected it for a moment, but shook his head when he couldn’t come to a conclusion.

“We’d have to ask Lightnin’ Strike again.” Sparkie said. “Oh! How’s the bastard doin’, love?” she asked Safari.

“Oh, he’s….right n’ fine.” She said. “Ah don’t see him as often anymore with how busy he is, but he keeps his smile.”

“Good to hear!” Chippie said. “Alright then. Hooroo, you lot!”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity were thrown for a loop by the completely unfamiliar language. “Okay, what?” Dash asked.
Safari facehooved, but took a deep breath so as to maintain her patience. “Just how we say goodbye ‘round here.” She explained.

“Oh! W-Well then…. H-Hooroo….” Rarity felt silly saying that, but didn’t want to upset them. The parties said their goodbyes and parted ways.

At some point, the mares decided that they wanted a quick snack, so Safari directed them to the next conv- err….‘milk bar’. Rainbow Dash found a protein bar while Rarity picked out an ice cream sandwich. However, they noticed that the prices were a little higher than expected, about Canterlot prices. While they could certainly afford their commodities, Safari had to explain to them that their many money-saving tricks made their economy rather move rather slowly, resulting in some slight inflation, but the natives were perfectly fine with having snacks be a little on the pricey side.
Not long afterwards, the three were walking down a street when Rarity had the misfortune of having somepony’s working trousers fly off its clothesline and land on her face. The trousers’ apparent owner was a pegasus stallion that fluttered down and removed his clothing from a very sullen Rarity, but he just smiled as if nothing was wrong. “Whoa! Hahahaha! Sorry ‘bout that, love! Guess me trousers were tryin’ to find themselves a hobby!” Despite his laughter, Rarity was not in the mood, and she just let the stallion fly off with his clothing.

Rarity sighed. “What brutes…” she mumbled under her breath. She then noticed that something else was on her face, and was horrified when she saw that it was a grasshopper that almost as big as her face! “AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!” She practically punched herself in the face just to get the gargantuan bug of off it. Neither she nor Rainbow Dash had seen a normal insect so big.

Safari Bush burst out laughing. “That’s an Austallion sandhopper fo’ ya! And pretty much every bug in the desert.”

“Whoa…..That’s pretty cool! Right, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash said, but Rarity was curled up in a fetal position and shaking like a leaf, rendering her somewhat impotent until they could calm her down.

A short while later, Safari Bush brought them to what Rainbow Dash recognized as a public soccer field, only that the foals playing on it certainly weren’t playing soccer, but rather some sport that involved an odd ball that was shaped like and almond. A hardcore athlete herself, she decided to satisfy her curiosity. As they approached, the two noticed that the foals, colts and fillies alike were tackling and trying to drag each other down very roughly.

“Hey, sprogs! Come over here a minute!” Safari called out. The foals smiled upon seeing her and stopped their game so they could give her a moment of their times.

They seemed to be led by a butterscotch-colored colt with a brown mane who had one of those strange balls for a Cutie Mark, and he was carrying the one they were playing with. “G’day, Safari!” he greeted. The other foals followed suit.

“’Nother round o’ rugby, eh, Brumby?” Safari asked.

The colt, apparently named ‘Brumby’ nodded. “Bloody oath! The big tourney’s just ‘round the corner, ya know!” He then noticed the two mares. “Who’re these lot?”

“Just a couple o’ visitors is all. Showin’ ‘em around.” Safari answered.

Rainbow Dash eyed them as though they were the foals back in Ponyville when she about to coach them. She could tell from experience that they were pretty fit for their age. “So what’s rugby?”

“Well, it’s kinda like basketball n’ football, ya see. Ya try to run it to ya goal while the other tries to run ya over an’ into the ground. You can toss the ball to ya team any way ‘cept in front o’ ya.” Brumby explained.

“It’s our favorite sport out here!” One of the fillies cheered.

Looking at them more closely, Rarity could tell that they were noticeably bruised from how rough they were getting with each other. “Goodness! Aren’t you worried you’ll get hurt? Your parents will surely notice those scars.”

“Pfft!” one of the other colts said. “Happens all the time! Kinda comes with the territory.”

“Come play with us some time on if ya ever get a moment. We’d be happy to show ya the ropes!” Brumby said.
Rainbow Dash smirked. “You sure you wanna tussle with a grownup, kid? I’m a known athlete where I’m from.”

“I wouldn’t mock him, love. Brumby’s a strong li’l bunyip. He’ll tackle ya to the floor ‘fore you can say ‘pass it here’!” Safari warned.

Ranbow Dash lowered herself to the ground. “Wanna bet?” she taunted before facing Brumby. “C’mon, kid. Give me your best shot.”

Brumby smirked and reared himself back. “Don’t say she didn’t warn ya!” He leapt towards her with all of his strength.

“OOF!!!” Rainbow Dash was struck with force of a barrel of bricks being swung into her from a high point, and even her fit body couldn’t save her from being thrown to the ground like a ragdoll, landing on her back.

She looked up in shock to see the little rougher standing on her belly. “You alright, madam?”

Rainbow Dash tried to process what just happened. She’d never seen such physical strength in somepony so young, even in Scootaloo with how fit she’d been becoming with all the training the two had done. “Jeez, kid!” she said as Brumby hopped off of her.

“Darling! Are you alright?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash got back to her hooves. “Yeah. Kid’s just super strong is all….” She felt pretty embarrassed that she was taken down so easily by somepony so much smaller than her. “Ehh….why don’t we leave ‘em to their game? You said there was a tournament, right? Better uh….g-get to training!”

“Suit ya’self, love!” Brumby said as he rejoined he friends. “Enjoy the rest o’ ya holiday!” They ran back to the field and resumed playing while the mares returned to town.

Afterwards, Safari Bush showed her guests every other business and building in Austallion including town hall, but they sadly didn’t get to meet the mayor. The last place she took them was the beach right on the South Luna sea where she treated the two too a small diner situated on its coastal sands, and the outdoor table they sat at thankfully had an umbrella shielding it from the hellish sunlight.

“So, whaddya gather? Like it so far? How that ‘friendship problem o’ yo’s?”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked at each other as they tried to put up a façade. “It’s er….quite the place, darling. Certainly nothing like I’ve experienced.”

“Yeah. It’s uh….new.” Rainbow Dash said.

Safari thought nothing of their tones and laughed before getting out of her seat. “Well, I’m gonna use the dunny real fast. Our food should be her in a jif.” She got funny looks from her guests. “Er…..the toilets.”

“Ooooooh.” They both said simultaneously.

Safari walked off, leaving the two mares to discuss their situation. “Rarity, I didn’t catch anything. Whatever problem is going on here, it’s sure subtle. Everypony here seems so lax even though their living on a hot pan.”

“Well, I beg to differ!” Rarity declared. “Who do these ponies think they are? Enduring this heat is admirable, but complimenting each other with insults, letting their foals play a brute’s game, making up the silliest words imaginable for such simple things, and living with enormous sand grasshoppers? Oh, this barbarism, I tell you! Barbarism!” In her rant, something suddenly clicked in her head. “ That’s it!”

“That’s what?” Dash asked.

“That’s the friendship problem!” Rarity said. “Perhaps the Austallion ponies are so…..the way they are that nopony else would want to visit their town. The rest of Equestria is nothing like this, so them being odd balls makes them isolated!”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but feel appalled by her friend’s statement. “Rarity! We can’t just ask everypony here to change their culture! That’s outlandishly insensitive!”

“Oh, no! That’s not what I meant. What I meant was that nopony else wants to give these ponies the time of day because of their odd culture, and thus they’re never truly appreciated for who they are apart the rest of Equestria. It would explain why Safari Bush and her family are having a tough time.” Rarity explained.

“Oh…” Rainbow Dash said. “Still though, the map sent us here, so the problem must be here. Plus, going around Equestria and telling everypony to visit someplace would be kinda ridiculous.”

“Well….I suppose you have a point, darling. Perhaps we’re just not looking in the right place.” Rarity said

Their waiter suddenly came up to them and served them their food. “Here ya go, loves! Fresh from the barbie! Enjoy!” he said before leaving.

Their food consisted of barbequed strips of wheat glazed with a sauce that no doubt had local spices in its recipe as the main course. There was also various biscuits, macadamia nuts, something called a ‘chiko roll’ that was basically a cooked salad wrapped in fried dough, pea soup with curry spices, and…..cooked grubs?

“ELCH! Since when do ponies eat that!?” Rarity said.

Rainbow Dash would normally complain about her complaining, but this time, she was willing to excuse it, and she sighed. “Yeah…..Let’s make it quick. I kinda don’t like it here.”