You know, thinking about it, this was a bad idea. One of my worst, and that's really saying something.

Oh, not the whole Comic-Con, thing. But the whole costume idea. I mean, the people asking for photos didn't bother me, in fact it was kind of nice to be appreciated, but...a zombie? I couldn't have been a little more original? Then again it was done last minute, what else can you make in three months? Yes, the Queen's Guard/Royal Guard idea was...I guess good enough. I sighed and shook my head, being careful not to lose my...bearskin...hat thing.

"Hey, you alright?"

I looked over and saw my cousin looking over at me in concern. I gave him a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He smirked and shook his head, "Hey, don't worry, the costume is awesome."

"Really?"

"How many times do I have to say it?" He ran a hand through his hair. Lucky bastard, why'd he get blond hair?

"I know...but it's not too...out there is it? I mean, 'Hey, I'm English, I'm going to make a Royal Guard costume!'"

He scoffed, "They have a problem, they can go fuck themselves. Besides, it's not that noticeable." He patted my arm, "Now come now, let's get a look around, I want to get a few things before the general entry guys get in."

I looked back at the entrance and winced at the size of the crowd. That...was a lot of people. I looked over to Joel, he'd mentioned a rough morning, apparently he was being blamed for something he didn't do. Again. "Hey." I said, getting his attention, "Feeling better?"

He gave me a happy grin, "Yeah, thanks for this, buddy." I mean, I only bought the tickets, it was no biggie.

"No worries, come on, let's find a stall you like." I moved forwards. It had taken a long time but I finally came across a zombie walk that looked right, was comfortable and was as fast as a normal walk.

As we wandered Joel gave my arm a poke and pointed towards a stall that others seemed to be avoiding. As we approached I noticed the owner was also in a costume. The Happy Mask Salesman, huh? Cool costume, nice and accurate.

"Ah, some loyal customers at last!" He cried, actually sounding something passable for the Salesman. "I was starting to think that it was futile coming here."

Joel started up a conversation with him as I browsed, something about us being the first here and those urban legends of disappearing cosplayers. It was total bullshit, as if something like that would go unnoticed.

I came across a set of dual shotguns and a skull mask, a plushie of a cyborg raptor, a pair of World War 1 flight goggles, and a pair of Wolverine claws. But none of it really worked for me.

I finally came across a model gun with a plastic bayonet, the same gun I was sure I'd seen the actual Royal Guard use. An SA80a2. I think. I looked along and saw perfection. A bloody, torn Royal Guard coat, much better than what I had on.

I saw Joel had found a Guitar Hero controller. As he and the Salesman chatted, I silently paid for the gun and coat. As soon as I bought them I slipped my new coat on over my old one. Almost immediately my head started ringing and my stomach churning. I clutched my head and staggered back.

"Come on, Tommy, let's look elsewhere." Joel said, his voice sounding distant.

"Ugh, Joel?" I whined, "I...don't feel good." He looked my way and I blacked out, the last thing I saw being my cousin's green eyes seemingly reaching out for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I came too I was in the middle of some forest. Did...did someone kidnap me? I sat up and looked around, yep this...was definitely not just a small bit of trees. A forest. What the fuck? I got to my feet and brushed the dirt off my clothes. I stopped when I saw my hands.

Did they wash my makeup off or something? And...why was I still in costume? Never mind that, my handmade costume was gone and the bought coat was left, but...how in the hell was it clean and pristine? Hell, my entire outfit was clean and...well...unzombieised. Did...did someone replace it? The fuck?!

I shook my head and spotted my other purchase laying in the dirt nearby. I went to pick it up and almost immediately fell over. Why was the thing so heavy?! With a growl I carelessly grabbed the grip and immediately fell on my arse when the thing boomed and the bark off a nearby tree exploded.

I stared at the gun. It was real.

What the fuck?! I carefully flicked the safety on before I lifted it onto my shoulder. Okay. I...should probably get moving before I get myself killed. I paused and lowered the gun again and flicked the flat side of the bayonet. And of course that was fucking real too. I set off walking, not exactly sure where I was going.

Luck must have been on my side because not ten minutes after I set off did I find an exit to the forest and found a town. A town...full of colourful small horses. Oh, today was going to be one of those days, wasn't it?

With a sigh, I was about to continue down into the town when I noticed that there was an attack under way. I couldn't see any people, but the horses were being slaughtered by...Are those dogs?!

I...I give up. Fuck it, they were under attack by fucking dogs. Fuck you. I watched as one of the horses opened its mouth and gave a very human scream. "HELP ME!"

They...they could talk?! No! They're people, focus on that and help them!

I quickly took aim at the nearest dog and fired. It dropped as the bullet pierced its brain. I blinked. I should not be this skilled with something I've never used, I somehow ever accounted for recoil and wind! And, more unsettling, I didn't even flinch that I'd killed something that could think.

I shook it off and strolled into the village, shooting any of the dogs I saw. I must have fired off twenty shots by the time I reached the centre of the small town. The majority of the dogs had fled at that point. Seeing me slaughter their own must have scared them off. I'd say it was easy, but I have a gun. They had crude spears. Pointy stick. Firearm. It wasn't really a challenge.

As one of the last two charged me with a wild cry I stood my ground and when he got close enough shoved my bayonet into his neck. It grabbed its neck as blood splattered across my face and coat. I turned to the last one and snarled, "This place is protected! Do you get that?! As long as I live I will be there to slaughter all who attack this place!" It was a lie, but it got the dog nodding.

"We leave! We never come back!" It whimpered before scurrying away.

Eventually a horse approached me, "E...excuse me?" Female. What's a female horse called again?

I kept an eye open for any surprise attacks but looked her way, "Yep?"

"Th...thank you for saving us." She was scared of me. Truth be told I was freaking the fuck out, probably worse than them.

"My pleasure." I nodded.

I froze up and got my gun ready as I saw a group in gold carrying spears come our way. "Oh! The Guard! They got our message!" She smiled. "Oh, don't worry, they protect us." Yeah? Brilliant job they did. Though backup would be appreciated.

I grinned as the...what was it? Guard? As the guard approached. Was that a unicorn? Fuck it, I'm not even surprised anymore. Oh, and a pegasus back there. Of course. I noticed the guard approaching me was a...unicorn with a blue colour coat with a darker blue...what was the hair called again? Mane?

As he got close I saw a spear floating in a blue glow. What the fuck? Fuck it, I'm chalking this all up to magic until I get some answers!

I opened my mouth to say something, but as I did the spear sunk into my gut.

I frowned, not quite comprehending what was going on. As the spear was ripped out I heard the mare scream out. Ha! Remember what they're called! I watched as a horse somehow pick up a stone and throw it at a guard. Wait...how can...fuck it...ow.

As he readied his spear again I fell to the ground and looked up at him. "Please...don't!" I begged.

His eyes widened in shock, "You...you can talk?!"

"It wasn't him!" The mare sobbed, "He saved us!"

He dropped his spear and the blue glow moved to my stomach and the pain faded. "No, no, no!" He muttered.

"Private." I looked up and saw a large white horse with...both horn and wings? Hey, no fair, cheater! "Kill it." She demanded.

"What?!" He yelled, "Princess, no! He's not a monster, he needs medical attention!"

"I won't repeat myself."

"He's not the threat we're for! He's innocent!"

"Private Night Light! That is an order!"

"To Tartarus with your orders! I quit!" He spat, ripping off the helmet and throwing it at her. "I'm doing what's right here!" As he went to help me I could only watch in horror as the white bitch's horn lit up and his discarded spear lifted off the ground. He noticed my face and followed my gaze to the spear. "NO!" He roared, leaping to the spear the grabbing it with his hooves.

"Let go, Night Light. This is treason." She said coldly.

"BUCK YOU!" He screamed as I managed to get up to my knees. Maybe...maybe I could make it! If he kept her back long enough I could escape into the forest!

Not a second after that thought came across my mind did the spear shoot forwards, Night Light still attached, and sink into my heart.

I looked down at the spear as Night Light yelled. It...looked wrong sticking out of my body like that. I was about to touch it when it was painfully ripped from my body. Funnily that's what started the pain. I screamed and screamed but before long I fell to the ground and everything started to go black.

And then I died.

Author's Note

Okay, here's a new story for you guys. I'm...not entirely sure where I'm going with it.

Also, the items on the Happy Mask Salesman's counter? All other stories I'm working on. (Obviously not at the same time, or even the same day, but still) Can you guess who they belong to?