Princess Celestia is a SAVAGE!!

by TheEveryDaySparkle

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2425

After her foray into the mirror,Twilight has introduced Princess Celestia to some very choice parts of human culture

After her time in the mirror, Twilight comes back to Equestria to show Princess Celestia her findings. After a few explanations, as well as a few demonstrations, Princess Celestia thinks she quite understands, and in fact likes, a certain part of human culture. Twilight has no idea the monster she has just unleashed.

Published 2017-09-15 18:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-15 18:20:06 UTC

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

"YEEEAH BOOOOOIIIII!"

Luna's eyes snapped open at the sound of her sister's voice. What could she possibly be doing up so early?

She had decided to sleep on the couch last night in order to watch more of her favorite soap operas, but when they were over, she fell asleep almost instantly and was not too happy about being woken up this early.

She resigned herself to seeing what her sister was up to. She hopped off the couch, heaved a tired sigh and, with bags still under her eyes, she made her way up the steps to their shared room.

She knocked on the door. "Sister? Sister! SISTER!!"

Suddenly, the door opened. Just before she fell over onto the floor, she was grabbed and pulled into the room.

When she hit something soft and warm, she opened her just previously tightly shut eyes to a sight she never thought she'd see for as loong as she lived.

There stood Celestia. She was there, alright. This was her sister, in the flesh. But, what she saw before her, was not what she expected.

Celestia stood there. Gone were her royal regalia and crown, replaced with some sort of strange form of a hat that looked like it had a ducks bill attached to it. The bill was turned at an odd angle. Backwards, as if the poor creature had had its neck snapped before its very mouth was ripped off and stitched onto the strange thing.

That being said, the hat was painted in a duo of red and white colors, so that couldn't be the case.

Aside from that, she wore a black jacket over a white shirt and seemingly nothing else, save for a long gold necklace that reached all the way down to her hooves.

"Hey, Lulu! You like my chain?"

Luna had not been expected a voice. She was brought back to reality by the sound of her sister's question.

She looked up from the items that had so easily caught her attention before, looking at her sister in confusion. "Your...what, sister?"

"My chain. You know, the gigantic ring of 24 karat equestrian gold around my neck? Are ya legally blind or somethin'?"

"Sister? Why art thou speaking thusly? Why are you wearing such outlandish clothing, and what in Faust's name is a 'boi'?"

"It's my swag, Lulu. I got too much swag for you to handle today." She turned towards a trash can and lit her horn, grabbing up a can of what Luna could see was alcohol, and tossing it in.

The empty can landed in the trash without so much as grazing its rim.

Celestia raised her hooves into the air and shouted, "Jordan!"

Luna was stunned into silence. Celestia trotted over to her and draped a hoof over her shoulder.

"What's wrong, Lulu? Too stunned to speak? You scurred?"

Luna looked from Celestia, to the trash can, and back. She did this three more times before saying,

"...Never mind that. Sister, what are you doing up so early? It is not even time for you to raise the sun!"

"Aww! C'mon , Lulu! Don't hate! Participate!" She gave her sister's flank a slap, eliciting a yelp from her.

"Ahhhh! Sister, what the buck was THAT for?"

"Just showin' a little appreciation for this nice flank of yours, Sister. Why? You mad?"

Luna's face turned a deep shade of red. "Wha...wha...you...arrrgh! My flank has nothing to do with this."

"Your flank has everything to do with this. Now I know why all the timberwolves howl at the moon. Who wouldn't wanna holla at you when they see this!"

Celestia gripped her sister's flank once again. This time shaking it, making it jiggle back and forth from side to side.

"Stop that!" Luna batted her hand away. "I'm leaving." she trotted off with a huge blush staining her cheeks.

Celestia gave a fake look of hurt. "NO! Come back! Please! Sister, I love you!"

When Luna did not return, Celestia stood there in the doorway. Finally, she shrugged her shoulders and said, "YOLO!!!"

The day guard stood stock still at his post, watching and waiting for any sign of trouble. This was what he was trained for. This was what he spent his entire life preparing for. This...was his destiny.

True, being a personal guard to the princess of the sun meant a lot more standing in one spot for hours on end, and a lot less action and protection of citizens, but he knew his chance would come eventually.

That being said, nothing could prepare him for this.

"GOOD MORNIIIIING, CANTERLOT!"

Celestia burst through her chamber doors with a loud flourish and trotted down the hall at a brisk pace, practically skipping the whole way.

"Time to buck whorses and get bits." she said to herself as she came downstairs to find her sister sitting at the dining room table.

Luna grumbled as she sat at the table with her bowl of oat cereal. 'How could my sister do such a thing? So vulgar!' She shivered in disgust.

But, despite even that, she found herself hopping off the chair to take a look at her flank. 'Is it really that nice?' She gave it an experimental shake in one of the castle's many mirrors.

She kept this going for a while, never noticing that her sister had come downstairs

"Oh yeah, that's right, sis! Shake that flank! Shake it like a salt shaker!"

Luna nearly had a heart attack. "Sister! Do not sneak up on us like that!"

Soon, Celestia took Luna's place in the mirror and began shaking her own flank. "Now lemme show ya how to praise the sun."

She began shaking vigorously, her flank jiggling wildly right along with her.

It was a mesmerizing sight to behold, and Luna found that she couldn't look away. Her sister's flank was just so round and shapely. It was almost like a little white ball with how it bounced around, Celestia moving it up and down with an excited ferocity.

Luna had to ask, "Sister, whatever are you doing?"

She was now gyrating her hips and bouncing her individual cheeks with practiced ease. She had even begun to dance with it.

"Its called twerking, Lulu. Now watch and learn."

Luna was simply staring at her sister, watching her work her body like a well oiled machine. She soon realized that if she didn't look away right now, she'd fall under the spell of this so called 'twerking', and be stuck there all day.

So she tore her eyes away, albeit reluctantly, and went back to her oat cereal, finishing it in a few more bites before standing once more.

Before she left, she looked back at her sister and said, "When you're done with your fun, you have royal duties to attend to this morning. I believe day court is one of them?"

That done, she left.

Seeing that she no longer had an audience, Celestia ceased her hip shaking and stood up proper. She had worked up quite a sweat and had to wipe her forehead of it all.

She remembered her sister said something about her royal duties. She thought about it for a while before...

"Oh shit, i'm late!"

"Ugh, I'm so bored!" Celestia cried as she sat upon her throne, her head in her hoof. She had just spent the first hour of day court dealing with petty noble ponies and issues that most normal ponies could handle themselves.

One noble came in talking about raising taxes. Another one talking about budget cuts and still more talking about starting a business.

Of course, she was more than happy to help that last pony settle in and get a good start. She sent him off with a smile on his face and even gave him a few bits for his troubles.

The rest of the hour was spent dealing with property issues, service complaints, public event coordination that was better handled by Pinkie Pie, and couple disputes that were much better handled by her niece, Cadence.

She even had to yell at one noble for coming in specifically so she could complain about how dreadful her day had been.

She was so bored she didn't know what to do, and so she settled on doing nothing. Which was a bad idea, seeing as she was bored out of her mind! She sighed heavily, wishing day court would end soon so she could mesmerize her sister again with her glorious twerking skills.

Then she suddenly had a great idea. 'What if Lulu and I went out clubbing?' She had a smile on her face the rest of the court.

Luna couldn't believe how her sister was behaving. She of course was still her usual self...to some degree, but she seemed much less focused on her tasks.

She had blatantly ignored, if not shooed off several Canterlot nobles. Not that she wouldn't have done the same, of course. These nobles need to learn the difference between ending a real problem and causing one. But Celestia would have handled it with more class and kindness, like she usually does.

She did help one young pony start his new business, and even gave him a few of her own bits as a parting gift, Faust knows she has so much.

But after that, she handled everything else by either sending the ponies away to have somepony else handle the problems, or delegated them to her to finish for her.

She even told one pony something along the lines of "BEGONE THOT!!" She had used the canterlot voice for something so trivial, and yet, when it was all over, she looked so happy.

Luna had to find out what was going on with her sister.

"Tia?"

Celestia turned around immediately. Whenever Luna used her personal name for her, she knew it was either something dangerous, or she had a serious problem. She didn't even bother to find out which it could be before she said,

"Yes, Lulu?"

Luna smiled. Her sister had returned, if only briefly, to the one she knew and loved. The kind, graceful, honest and noble princess she knew her to be.

"Whatever is the matter with you today? You seem so different from your usual self, and we are worried about you. First you shout to the skies before the crack of dawn, I come to see you dressed in such odd attire, and then you slap my flank and shake your own in the mirror for hours at a time."

Celestia giggled. "Ahahahahahahaha! I'm sure it wasn't hours at a time, you know?"

"That is not the point, sister!" Luna said, her voice desperate. "What has gotten into you to make you act in such a way? You even wore that strange clothing to the day court!" She gestured to Celestia's clothes. She had indeed worn the exact same ensemble she had on before to court.

Celestia looked back up at her sister's worried expression and sighed, standing and throwing off the hat she had on with her magic.

She put a hoof around her sister's shoulders. "Lulu, I'm sorry. I should've told you what I was doing before hand."

Luna looked confused. "What do you mean, sister? What were you doing all this time?"

Celestia smiled and sighed. "I was copying a part of human culture Twilight showed me. It just seemed so interesting that I had to try it out. I'm sorry if I made you worry at all. I guess i'll stop now."

"Wait."

Luna's sudden word stopped Celestia from stripping off the rest of her clothes. "What is it, Lulu?"

"You said Twilight showed you those things?"

"Yes, I did. I even kept her notes. Why?"

"Let me see them."

Twilight walked through the halls of Canterlot castle with a look of pure joy on her face. She hummed as she practically bounced over to the door to Celestia's chambers, unwittingly copying Pinkie Pie in her happiness.

She stopped just outside the door and was about to knock when she heard sound coming from the other side. She called out her old mentor's name.

"Princess Celestia! Are you in there?"

Without a reply from the other side, the door was pushed open with magic. Twilight thought it a little weird that Celestia couldn't come to the door herself, but she shrugged it off and made her way inside.

"Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? Are you in he-...!" Her words died in her throat as she took in the sight before her with slowly widening eyes.

There stood the princesses, their flanks facing her. She watched in shock as they shook their flanks wildly, seemingly unaware that she had arrived. She looked around a little more to see Cadence doing the same, Shining Armor bucking his hips just behind her as he threw bits at her flank. Music was playing, and she looked over to see who it was. A royal guard was spinning records just outside of all the action going on in the middle of the room, and a disco ball was flashing lights all over the area.

They were proven to not be unaware of her presence however, when Luna looked over her shoulder, not pausing in her vigorous shaking for even a moment as she said,

"Ah, yes! Twilight! How do you do? My sister and I are simply enjoying one of the customs of the 'humans' you told us about."

Twilight looked dumbfounded. She shook off her confusion and said, "The customs? Oh, you mean my research!"

"Indeed, Twilight sparkle. 'Twas very informative!"

"I'm glad you liked it so much. So this is what you were going to show me when you sent that letter, Princess?"

"That is correct Twilight Sparkle! Would you care to join us?" Luna stopped for only a moment to give her flank a slap and a seductive shake in Twilight's direction.

She could only stare back at the display, the sight beckoning her forward to join them. It looked like fun, and the princess, both of whom were looking back at her now, looked to be having fun as well.

Never one to disappoint, Twilight said, "Sure!" So with a blush and a few hoofsteps later, she was shaking her purple rump just as hard as the other princesses, Spike by her side mimicking Shining's actions.

Everypony was happy, all present having the time of their lives as they partied HARD.

THE END