Random Lil' Kinks

by Twilight Connor

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Romance, Equestria Girls, Sex, Anthro, Drama
Length: 4140

A collection of one shots featuring anything from extreme clop, to small fetishes.

Not many of these one shots will exceed 700 words. This fic features a wide range of characters, and most likely will rarely feature the main six, nor will it often feature foalcon. Contains: Heavy Diaper Usage, Masturbation, Hoof licking, Foodplay, Exessive amounts of mud, and Bondage, ect. If any of these things bother you, do not read. If you do read these, do not tell me that you were not warned. Further warnings will be put at the beginning of each chapter. Every five chapters, feel free to ask me to turn one of my one-shots into an actual story.

Published 2017-09-16 06:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-10 06:53:15 UTC

Chapter 1 - Diapers

Soarin sighed as he relieved himself in his concealed diaper. He was now glad for the Wonderbolts uniform more than before, knowing it kept the others from seeing that he had a diaper on. He knew it would bring up plenty of awkward conversations. It might even get him kicked off the team! That thought distracted him for a short period of time, causing him to miss the cue to perform the Buccaneer Blaze, and he crashed into the practice arena's clouds. He groaned as he pulled his head out of the cloud, preparing for his chewing out from Spitfire.

But instead, "Soarin, are you alright? You've been getting distracted a lot more than usual. Are you okay?" Soarin froze, unsure how to respond. Spitfire took this as a no. "Look, if you aren't going to be in top form for a while, you can just take a short vacation." Soarin replied halfheartedly. "Yeah, I guess I am tired. I'll go home." Sadly, he started home.

Upon reaching his house in Cloudsdale, Soarin was in a better mood. He had wet his diaper twice on the way back, and couldn't wait to mess around with it. He pulled his key from inside the ground. It was just clouds, after all. He unlocked the door, and stepping in, he placed the key back in the ground, closed the door, and locked it. Walking happily to his large bathroom, he laid down on the yellow clouds that made up his bathroom floor. He pulled off his uniform, and tossed it to the side.

Soarin started slow, first pushing the diaper in random places all over it. He then shoved at the back of the diaper, causing a slight squish. Enjoying the odd feeling that came from his own urine messing up his fur, he groaned in pleasure. Releasing his bowels from the load they were carrying, the diaper started to leak at the corners. Soarin didn't care. Squishing the front in a very specific spot, he groaned again. The diaper leaked more. Soarin felt a very small need, yet it was one that interested him greatly. However, at the moment, it was still to small. So, to build up the sensation, he continued squishing his diaper.

The cloth diaper was soaked. The diaper was leaking, and the cloud probably was too. Still the need was still to small. So Soarin squished the sides, the back, the bottom, and then the front. It still wasn't enough. Soarin rocked back and forth, and then got an idea. He stood up, and then sat on his diapered bum. The need was almost enough. Soarin rocked back and forth. The need was now just barely enough.

He pooped. The feces spread all over the back, slowly creeping to the bottom, to surely reach the front. Some spilled out the sides, so Soarin grabbed what he could, and speed up the process by shoving it in the front. He rocked back and forth, spreading the feces around more, slathering it over his private bits, making it an odd mix of comfortably warm, and unconformably messy. He settled on comfortable. Squishing his hooves on the surface, and then, with hesitance, inside the diaper, left him feeling satisfied.

He pissed once more, the wetness speeding further across the floor. Sighing one last time for the day, he pulled off the diaper, and reached under the sink for a new diaper. There weren't any. Panicking, Soarin knew he would have to go into Ponyville to get more, as Cloudsdale never sold any that could comfortably fit him. So Soarin donned his disguise of neat hair, a vest that, while concealing his wings, would not hinder his flight. He also wiped his butt. It would've gotten him some odd stares from some of Ponyville's residents. He shoved his moon themed bit pouch in his vest. Preparations done, Soarin left through the windows.

He landed out of sight of his destination, Foal Emporium. While it was expensive, those who knew the codeword could quickly be let into the employees only area, where adult diapers were kept. He casually trotted over to the building, with a small hop in his step. He stepped inside via the swinging doors. Walking over to the employee next to the door, he spoke the codeword. The employee nodded, and rand an inconspicuous bell next to the door, and then silently took Soarin to the employees only area, and making sure nopony saw them, he stepped in, Soarin in tow. They walked to the diapers section of storage.

The employee finally spoke. "Hello there! I am know here as Tender Touch. If you don't want to tell me yours I understand, but I will need to know your diaper size." Soarin pointed to a pack on the fourth shelf up. Tender pulled over a stepladder, and climbed up to the top, and snagging the wrapper in her hoof, tossed it down into Soarin's waiting hooves. She stepped down. "There you go! Have fun with that!" She chuckled at that, and then shoved the stepladder back into where it was. Leading Soarin out, she waved and went into another room near the bit register.

Soarin walked over to the bit register, and the employee there. She noted what Soarin was buying, and whistled. She scanned it. "15 bits." Soarin hoofed over the bits, and grabbed his purchase. While walking out the door, he dropped the diapers. He picked it up in his teeth again, and this time left Foal Emporium without any trouble. He opened his wings, and flapped back to Cloudsdale. By this point in the day, or rather night, it was too dark to see normally, so he was safe.

Soarin reached his home, and unlocked his house. He tossed the diapers inside, and then rehid the key. He stepped inside and locked the door. Soarin pickd up the diapers and carried them up to the bathroom. He tore open the top of the package, and pulled out a diaper. He tossed the rest under his sink. He grabbed his baby powder, and laying down, he awkwardly applied it. He closed the cap and set it aside. Reaching for the diaper he had set aside, Soaring bumped the mostly unused toilet. After feeling around a bit, he grabbed his diaper. He unfolded it, and lifting his rear up, put the back of it under his butt. He pulled the front over to where it should be, and then pulled the tapes into place. Soarin stood up. Walking to his bed, Soarin hopped in, and soundly fell asleep.

Author's Note

So. My fetish. Diapers. Mhm. Goodness, I don't think I'm ready for the random down votes on a story people didn't even read!

Chapter 2 - Bondage

Author's Note

Contains Bondage, Sex toys, and slight amounts of blood/injuries. The injuries mentioned aren't very big.

Chapter 2 - Bondage

Berry Punch groggily opened her eyes. She had a giant migraine, so her first thought was that she had gotten to drunk to remember anything again, but then she looked around. The first thing she noticed was that she was tied upright to something that looked like... A bed frame? Regardless of what held her down, Berry prepared to yell. She drew in a deep breath and- A gag was shoved in her jaws. Berry was instantly confused. What was going on? The offending pony stayed behind her. "Quite a predicament you're in, hmm?" The rough voice laughed. "Now... What to do first?" Berry panicked and struggled as much as she could, but between her inability to scream for help and the ropes keeping her upright, there was nothing she could do.

Without any warning, something traced a circle around her vaginal folds. Berry shuddered, both from the feeling, and from her own fear. As the same thing ran a straight line down her side, it pricked her twice. "Hooves don't do that!" Berry thought. As she became more panicked, her captor continued to work her way slowly to Berry's cutie mark, tracing circles with a sharp pointed thing.

"Odd." Berry's captor exclaimed, confused. "Why are your cutie marks grapes? You aren't a farmer." "How does she know what I do?!" Berry tried to screech. But the ropes holding her were just made tighter. "Eeep!" Berry actually managed to say. Her captor chuckled. "I'm sure you want to see my glory, hmm?" Berry's captor took out the gag. "LET ME GO, YOU FILTHY DISGU-" She was cut off again, this time by a ball gag. "Ah ah ah~ You don't want to ruin that lovely mouth of yours, do you?" Berry's captor slowly stepped into the open. It was a griffin- no, it was Gilda? Berry's eyes widened and her struggles resumed. What was Gilda doing back in Ponyville? Gilda full out laughed for a few minutes before pulling out a blue box.

Gilda opened the box. Inside were a large number of dildos, vibrators, gags of many types, and three bottles of lube. Berry was panicking like a madmare. Gilda just grinned as she pulled out a long dildo. Gilda pulled the gag out of Berry's mouth, and before any sounds were heard, the dildo was shoved partway in, but it was still deep enough to cause Berry to gag. Gilda then pulled a small vibrator. At least, small in comparison to the Thing in Berry's throat. Gilda pushed it all the way into Berry's Vagina. Berry winced but it wasn't doing anything. Then Gilda turned the vibrator up to a 5. Berry was instantly trying to moan, but with the dildo, she couldn't. Gilda grabbed the dildo and took it slowly out of Berry's mouth. Before Berry could even try to feel relieved, the dildo was shoved into her throat, then out. In and out, the cycle repeated for a bit. Then the vibrator was turned up to a 7.

Berry outright signed deeply. For the few moments the dildo wasn't in her mouth. Gilda sighed, and tossed the dildo into her box. Then she drew her claws slowly around Berry's vagina, causing her to shudder. Not in disgust anymore. Gilda smiled the best you can with a beak. She then slowly ran her claws down Berry's front, causing a nick to show up in the fur. The vibrator turned up to 10. Berry screeched and moaned simultaneously. The orgasm wracked through Berry. Panting for a few minuites as she rode the wave of ectacy, the vibrator was slowly turned off. Panting a little bit, she sighed and said the agreed safeword.

Gilda nodded and cut the ropes, letting Berry free. We high hooved/fived and smiled at other. "Same time next week?" Berry asked. "Of course. Good luck and have fun." The two species waved once more and then left.

Chapter 3 - Foodplay

Mayor Mare, or rather Ivory, as she preferred to be known, stepped into the 'Dream of Seasons', a well frequented place, known to be a smaller version of the Clocktower Society. Both of these places were well known to be brothels of sorts, though oftentimes more loving. As odd as that sounded, Ivory had wanted to try it for a long time. She looked around, and closed the door behind her with her back hoof.

There was a posterboard to her left, containing many flyers and sign-up sign-up sheets. In front of her was reception, for aftercare, as the signs above the receptionist said. To her right were a few umbrella holders and a coat rack. Ivory trotted over to the posterboard. She closed her eyes and waved her hoof around. Then, after a few seconds, her hoof landed on a flyer. 'Dream of Seasons Banquet' It read. 'All races welcome. There will be enough food only if we have the right number of those coming. Sign up below.' True enough, there was a sign-up below, attached to the flyer by Duct Tape. Ivory looked at the sign-up and realised just how many were joining the event. She gulped, and signed up anyways.

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Two weeks later, Ivory was in the kitchen, having signed up for sub. She was blindfolded, and was about to be prepped for 'Consumption'. Even though she knew that she herself wouldn't be eaten, the thought of foodplay still made her nervous. She heard a mare's voice. "We're going to have to gag you for this one. Just don't wiggle, alright?" Ivory nodded. "Alright then." Ivory felt the made open her jaws and push a large meatball in her mouth. She was lifted up slightly, and had a bunch of hay placed under her. "The one 'eating' you ordered what griffins normally do. Pig on a Salad, I think." Ivory tensed. Griffons usually chose this? Did she have a griffin as a Dom? Her line of thought was disrupted as the preparation continued.

In addition to the hay under her, she had alternating spinach and iceberg lettuce under her sides. The edge of the platter she was on had tomato slices. In her pussy, she had ranch dressing, and it was indescribably weird, having something cold inside her private areas. She had noodles draped over her back. She was gagged by a large apple.Two ponies (At least, she hoped they were only ponies,) carried her onto a serving cart. She was rolled into what was the main room, judging by the sounds. She was further carted over to someplace in the edge of the room and hefted onto a table. Her blindfold was taken off, and for a few moments, she couldn't see anything. When she could stop blinking, she looked at the one that going to 'eat' her. It was a mare. Specifically, it was Amethyst Star. Ivory was puzzled. Amethyst came here? And she was Ivory's Dom?

Amy, as Ivory had come to know her over the many years, grabbed a fork in her magic. The light blue aura carried the fork to some of the greens under Ivory's chin, and stabbed them. Ivory jumped, as the fork had come very close to her chin. The leaf carrying fork floated to Ivory's backside, acting as toilet paper to wipe up some of the excess ranch sauce from around Ivory's pussy. The process repeated a few times, the salad bits coming from different places around her. Then Amethyst hesitated for a moment, and forgoed the silverware entirely, digging into the hay under Ivory's stomach. Ivory jumped and tried to yelp, but this only resulted in her slobbering on the apple. Amethyst continued, until thee was only a couple forkfuls of hay left. Then Ivory had her first experience with a tounge at her private bits, causing shudders to roll over her spine.

The ranch dressing felt warmer. At first, Ivory wondered why, but then as she realised, she blushed deeply. Amethyst seemed to notice, as she paused for a moment, and then grabbed more lettuce and spinach. The spinach floated to Amethyst's mouth, while the lettuce soaked in Ivory's juices. Amethyst levitated the tomatoes over the noodles, and squeezed. Tomato juice ran down Ivory's sides and back, thoroughly coating the noodles. The fork from before twisted the noodles, causing little circle motions in Ivory's fur. Almost all the food was gone, and what was left were scraps. All exep the apple.

Amethyst started to nibble at the apple, skinning it with her teeth. Then, she took a juicy bite, making apple juice rain down both mare's chins. Ivory took the hint and did the same, as best as she could. Then, as Amethyst whispered in Ivory's ear, they both got ready. Three, Two, One. Both of them simultaneously started chewing and swallowing bits of apple as fast as they could. They reached the core. With a pair of nods, their teeth touched at the stem of the apple, and split it down the middle.

Both mares ended up in a kiss, but neither minded, as their tounges entertwined, both ponies lost in the moment, not fully realising what they were doing. When they finally stopped the kiss, both blushed in embarrassment, and then waved for a waiter. When one came by, he took Ivory to get cleaned up, and Amethyst thanked him. The two mares waved to each other one more time, and then left.

Chapter 5 - Hoof/Foot

Vinyl Scratch and Octavia both had sore back hooves. Octavia had been standing straight up to hold her cello's bow properly, and to use Vinyl's turntables, you couldn't sit or put pressure on the records. They had tried hot baths, and they had tried lotion. They had tried the spa. None of those ideas worked. As they were running out of ideas, Vinyl squirmed uncomftorbly. "Vy? What is it?" Octavia asked. Vinyl said, or rather, mimed, out "Lick our hooves?" Octavia was dumbstruck. "What? No! That's more disgusting that the floors of the bar you work at!" Vinyl gave Octavia puppy eyes. "...Fine. It's not like we have any other ideas." Vinyl mimed out "Woo! My idea has passed the Octavia test!" Octavia rolled her eyes lightly.

10 minutes of awkward squirming later...

They had tried licking their own hooves, but rather quickly figured out that ponies weren't quite that flexible. They had eventually settled on licking each other's hooves. Octavia slowly peeked out her tounge to lick Vinyl's foot, but rapidly recoiled at the taste of sweat and bits of week-old mare juices. Vinyl licked Octavia's feet, and had no problem. Octavia scrunched up her face, and licked again. The taste was still horrible, but it gave less trouble than before.

Suprisingly, Vinyl's hooves had a very smooth texture. Despite what everything else would show, Vinyl kept good care of herself. Even though Octavia was enjoying herself, every now and then, she would gag as random splashes of dried vodkas touched her tounge. She never had been one for any alcohol other than light wine.

Vinyl was getting tired, and mimed as such. "Tavi, my hooves feel better. Yours?" Octavia nodded. "Let's stop, alright?" She gave one last lick, and then split apart, going into their private rooms after saying/miming a goodnight. Octavia stepped inside her room. Her back massager was lying on her bed. She picked it up, put it on her hoof and turned it on.

Chapter 6 - Hornplay

Nurse Redheart was helping deal with the after affects of a curse that was brought into town by a unicorn by the name of Snails. It caused all female unicorns to have their horns become male gentalia permenantly if it hadn't had an orgasm within a week. Once you had it, you were immune, unless you levitated the entire unicorn you caught it from. Once you had given it to a random amount of ponies, then no others could catch it from you. You, assuming you are a male unicorn, as only male unicorns can actually spread the disease. They can spread it to up to three carriers, though most often no unicorns became carriers.

Very few of those facts were useful in Redheart's current situation. Lyra was laying down. She had been among the first to catch the disease, and only had one day left on her counter. She had been found crying by the Everfree, about to run in. This was a frightening thought, Redheart herself had caught the disease before, and had ended it on her own. Redheart slowly shook Lyra awake.

Lyra's eyes peeked open. "What? Where am I?" Lyra looked around, blinking slightly. "A hospital?!?" She screeched. Redheart sighed. This was the third identical reaction this day! "Yes Lyra, dear. Do remember standing next to the Everfree? Or what happened to your horn?" Lyra looked confused. "My horn?" She reached up to poke it. It flopped backwards. The sound of screeching filled the entire building. "Calm down! It's reversible!" The screech lowered to a loud sob that could still be heard a few rooms away. "It's a rather odd method," Redheart continued. "It's pretty much a... Well... Blowjob, but on the horn! Instead of down there. Yeah."

"Just fix my horn, PLEASE!" Redheart nodded, and then lowered her mouth onto the horn, covering in in her lips. Lyra fidgeted, clearly unsure how to feel. Redheart slowly pulled her lips off Lyra's horn, and then covered it in licks. There was a slightly audible moan. Redheart didn't notice, she was to busy balancing between rubbing Lyra's horn and licking it at the base and tip. Lyra's moans had rapidly became easily audible, so Redheart took that as a cue to shake things up a bit, to try something new. She repositioned herself on top of Lyra, and lowered her vagina onto Lyra's horn.

Both ponies gasped at the sudden feel. Lyra had her eyes half closed, and Redheart was going up and down rapidly. Considering the state of Lyra's horn, it didn't hurt in the slightest. It did brush Redheart's still intact hymen. She paused. Did she dare? And on a patient, no less! Lyra was coming off the high of what had just happened, and wanted more, so she moved her horn up and down, in a similar fashion to how Redheart had done with her. Redheart gasped, and froze for a second. Once she realised what was happening, she cooperated with the movements, bouncing up and down.

Each time Lyra's horn went in, it felt more and more like it was buzzing. Redheart didn't notice, but Lyra was getting harder. Lyra continued, giving no warning, as she had no clue what was happening. Then, without much warning, a load of thick semen spurted out of Lyra's horn, filling Redheart's vagina rapidly. Some semen spilled over Lyra's face, some dripped out of Redheart's vagina, and still more didn't land on fur at all, but landed on the floor and the bed. The whole orgasm lasted a full minute, and when it was over, Lyra's horn truly was a horn again.

"I guess this is goodbye?" Redheart sighed. Lyra shook her head. "There made some really weird spells that do this sort of thing. And if I levitate Snails, I get this again." Redheart's eyes widened in realisation. "Lyra... Do you want to visit me tonight?" Lyra just laughed and nodded. She left the room, Redheart waving after her. Redheart turned around. The room was coated in semen. "..."

Chapter - Diapers 2

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 4 - Dirty/Messy

Derpy crashed into the mud for the third time that day. Normally, she would be fine with a bit of mud, but she was delivering letters! Nothing cold stop her from doing her job, but it sure could make her feel weird. At least her bag kept the letters dry, both from the rain, and from the mud. Derpy tried her best, and eventually managed to deliver everything with only one more mud bath. She decided to walk to the post office, and made it without incedent. She turned in her uniform, and walked to her house.

Reaching home faster than expected, causing her to arrive before Dinky's school buss. Derpy stepped inside, and realised she was dripping mud all over the floor. Panicking, she rushed to the bathtub. As she stood there dripping the water in the tub slowly grew more messy. It was eventually to dirty to properly clean in, so she started to drain it. She stood waiting, still dripping, but this time it was dirty water. Derpy sighed and turned the tub back to fill it up. She just wanted to get clean. But maybe while she was waiting, she could have a bit of fun.

Derpy squished the mud in her mane, causing it to plop on the floor. She then stepped on it, and felt it squish in the frogs of her hoof. She tossed the mud in the now full tub. She continued to squish around the mud in her mane. She gave a quick glance at the tub to see it almost full. Derpy almost tripped in her rush to turn the water off. She got water to stop flowing and then stepped into the tub, mud floating off her fur and going all over the sides of the tub, turning the water a muddy brown in some spots.

Derpy grabbed her soap and scrubbed hard. The mud slowly but surely floated off in big chunks. After about ten minutes, just as Derpy finished her coat, the door opened and Dinky's voice bubbled up. "Mommy? Where are you?"

Derpy smiled as she started to work on her mane. "In the bathroom taking a bath sweetie!"

"Okay!" The innocent filly's voice said.

Derpy finished up her mane, and the water might as well have been mud, given how filthy it was. Derpy reached into the tub, and started the drain. She smiled contentedly.