Twilight's Gaming Obsession

by Lise

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Slice of Life, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 8538

Banned from her favorite gaming tournament for excessive swearing, Twilight is left with no alternative… but to find another game to satisfy her obsession.

Banned from her favorite gaming tournament for excessive swearing, Twilight is left with no alternative… but to find another game to satisfy her obsession.

Warning! Contains harsh Twilight language.

Special thanks to FloydienSlip for editing.

Published 2017-09-16 19:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-16 19:10:07 UTC

Damned Souls

“Fudge! Hay! Hay! Fudge!” Twilight kept shouting at her computer. Trembling with rage she held her breath long enough to reread the email, then slammed her hooves with full strength on the mechanical keyboard. It snapped under the sheer force, buttons flying about like popcorn. “Fudge!”

She had done the impossible to procure herself a some vacation from her United Nation duties only to learn that she had been banned from for one month from the Overkill scene. Adding insult to injury, that had happened a day after her team had managed to pass the preliminaries. As things stood the team was allowed to continue, but she would only take part as a silent observer.

“Fudge!” Twilight kicked what was left from the keyboard on the floor. The action felt only mildly satisfying. Of all the fudging times this could happen! She closed her eyes then inhaled and exhaled twice. This usually worked for anxiety and panic attacks, yet its effect on gaming rage seemed rather limited.

A timid knock came from the door.

“What!?” Twilight shouted.

“Err,” a muffled voice said as the door creaked open. “I brought you your fudge?” A hesitant Spike stepped in. “No need to get cranky about it. Hay is in the frier so it’ll have to wait.”

“Huh?” Twilight blinked. Her eyes moved from the dragon to the tray of fudge he was holding. It smelled of chocolate, honey, and freshly baked biscuits. “Thanks, Spike.” Twilight allowed herself a faint smile. Sometimes it was the little things in life that managed to calm her down. “What's the occasion?”

“The occasion?” The dragon placed it on the desk where the keyboard used to be. “Heck if I know. You've been shouting for fudge all morning. You've no idea how difficult it is to get the right ingredients. Especially the hay. Good thing we still have some left from Equestria. I'll have to write to Luna to bring more when she visits Earth.”

“Spike, that's not…” Twilight placed a hoof on her face. I’m not hungry, Spike, it's just that… Damn these cultural differences! Ever since she'd gotten the notification, Twilight had tried to moderate her profanity. Based on her online research, a good first step was to try to use ordinary words instead of controversial ones. Fuck became fudge, hell became hay, and wing-sucker was, surprisingly, not considered offensive. “Thank you, Spike, that's really sweet of you.”

“That's what I’m here for.” The dragon beamed. “Though, if you need anything else, you’d better tell me now. I'll be going out to explore the city with some friends later today. Might be out for a while.”

“No, it's fine, Spike.” Twilight looked at the fudge. Steam was still coming out of it, but she didn’t feel like eating—her stomach was still in a knot because of her de facto disqualification. “I don't think I'll be needing more food for today.”

“Are you still upset about that gamer thing?” Spike rolled his eyes. “I get it, it's not fair, but it's just a hobby.”

“Hobby?! Did you think it was just a hobby, when I melted your O&O miniatures by accident?” Twilight glared, her nostrils flaring. “Do you have any idea what I had to do to find you a new set?!”

“Yeah, yeah, and you're just as immature as me, right?” The dragon crossed his arms.

“Of course, I am!” Twilight shouted, realizing what she'd say only seconds later. I’m really not in the mood, Spike! “Wow, you sure got me.” She narrowed her eyes. “I feel better already.”

“Glad I could help!” Spike grinned. “I'll check your hay and leave it on the stove. That fine with you?”

“Yes, Spike, it’s fine.” Twilight managed a strained smile. “You go have fun.”

“Thanks, Twilight!” With a wave the dragon rushed towards the door. Reaching it, he stopped. “Err, and Twilight, I think you need a better keyboard.”

Twilight waited patiently until she was sure Spike had left the room, then banged her head against the desk. She had meticulously adjusted her schedule so as to be able to have ten days of undisturbed gaming. For that amount of time her team could reach the finals, or if not, have fun in the loser's bracket. Getting disqualified rendered the dream impossible. But that was not the worst of it. Having her team proceed meant they wouldn't have time to play with her, which was what Twilight itched for.

With a heavy sigh, the princess readjusted her bean bag. An error message filled her screen, noting she had unplugged her keyboard. She promptly ignored it, redirecting her attention to the fudge. The pleasant aroma of Ponyville honey and Canterlot chocolate filled her nostrils.

Maybe I'll have a bite, Twilight grumbled to herself and magicked a slice of fudge to her mouth. It was sweet, wetting her appetite for another. On the third slice she felt only fifty percent upset. On the fifth—she looked at her disqualification more philosophically, reasoning that it wasn't meant to be and possibly it was a sign she should get her swearing under control. After the last piece of chocolate goodness was gone, the day seemed like any other day: slightly dreary but nothing out of the ordinary.

Levitating the the tray, Twilight went into the kitchen. Washing it thoroughly, she put it away, then checked the frier. The hay had achieved a perfect golden brown texture. Licking her lips, she drained it from the oil, then put it on a plate—adding three full shakes of salt—and went back to her room.

What to do now? Twilight munched on the crispy fries as she glanced at the remains of her keyboard on the floor. Anyone else would be frantically searching for a replacement at this point. Being an alicorn, however, came with its advantages, one of which was the perfect repair spell. The keyboard parts rose into the air, lifted by Twilight’s spell, then assembled back into their original state. A moment later and the error message on her screen was gone.

Licking her lips, Twilight connected to chat. Instantly, a chat notification popped up—Burdened had pinged her.

“Hey, Burdened,” Twilight said, levitating her headphones on. “Congrats on the tournament. How was the first day?”

“Ass, you ass! You had us all worried!” her teammate shouted. “You haven't been online since the mail! We thought you had done something stupid.”

“Why would you think that?” Twilight looked away from the monitor. “I just was a bit busy, you know, stuff and things…”

“Stop shitting me, okay? You haven't been offline since I've known you! Everyone in the tournament knew how much you wanted to take part. You really scared me, okay?”

“Thanks for reminding me.” Just when I was starting to feel better. “Now I’ll have to settle for watching you play all week. Without me. In the championship.”

“Such a grouch. You can play too, you know. You're not banned from regular matches. It's not the same but it's something.”

“Yeah… I'd rather not.”

The thought of playing against clueless newbies was particularly unappealing. There would be a wave of childish insults, until they discovered she was “a girl” at which point eighty percent of her opponents would ask questions to get to know her better. That would last for about a minute at most, when she'd destroy them thanks to her incredible APM and the insults would start again.

“You can always try other games,” Burdened suggested. “What else do you have?”

“Umm, nothing?” Twilight tilted her head. She had never even considered other games. Every free moment online had been spent playing Overkill or watching guides how to improve.

“The fuck! You only have one game?”

“I never saw the need to get anything more. Overkill was nice.” Until I got kicked out of the tournament!

“Okay, okay, okay. I'll send you something. It's not exactly Overkill, but—“

“No thanks,” Twilight cut him off. “I’ve had enough for a while.” As if I'd play anything else. Fudge the obscenity ruling! Wing suckers all of them!

“Your choice.” Burdened didn't sound convinced. “If you change your mind just browse a bit. There are lots of free to play games on your platform. Or if you want to go fancy there a few good subscription ones.”

“Burd, I really—“

“I know, I know. You're fine and all.” He laughed. “Just saying. Keep an open mind and all that. Anyway, I must get back to the team. Stay cool, wing licker.”

“Fudge you!” Stealing my swears, eh? You don't even know what that means!

Burdened’s icon vanished. Twilight kept staring at the chat window for a few more seconds, then closed it. Despite her reaction, she did find the thought of joining a new game intriguing. Something fresh and new might take her mind off of Overkill. Besides, she'd go through the experience of being a noob again, only this time she knew knew what to expect.

Let’s see what we have here. Twilight opened her game store. There were tens of thousands of games. Looking at the main page made her gnash her teeth in anger. The organization was worse than terrible! There was so little logic between the games displayed that Discord might as well have made the user interface. There was a search filter, but the categories had no meaningful explanations whatsoever. Twilight was aware what FPS meant, but a new user would be clueless, not to mention overwhelmed.

With a grumble Twilight opened a browser window. The undoubted benefit of Earth was its web of infinite knowledge, even it had proven to be less accurate than Equestria’s library network. Clicking away with her magic, Twilight did a quick search for RTS, RPG, TBS, and all other keywords and abbreviations listed.

MMORPG? Twilight arched a brow. She knew what each of the words stood for, but the overall combination boggled her mind. According to what she could find, the genre was described as “a combination of role-playing video games and massively multiplayer online games in which a very large number of players interact with one another within a virtual world.” That sounded very much like Spike’s O&O sessions, yet how would that work for large groups of people? And how large was large? In Overkill the maximum limit was set to ten players total, and even that had felt overwhelming the first few days.

To Tartarus with it! Twilight clicked on the category. A new list appeared, full with grand names and flashy thumbnails, making the princess' ears perk up. The counter in the lower right read one of seventeen thousand and change—a ridiculously large number. I can't read through all that! Twilight stressed out. Even spending a few minutes on each to go through the screenshots and descriptions, she'd need twenty-nine days to go through everything. It was with great relief that Twilight noticed, upon further inspection, a secondary filter just below the category. The options weren't many, but anything that would limit her choice to a manageable number was welcomed.

Chomping on some more hayfries, Twilight went on with her selection. In the secondary filter she set the age rating to Teen and feedback rating to Positive—if she was going to enter a new game genre she wanted to enjoy it, not suffer through bugs and glitches. Theme was slightly more complicated to choose. Science fiction was extremely tempting, yet so was high fantasy. Urban fantasy also had a certain appeal, but to enjoy it fully Twilight had to finish reading her World Fantasy collection and she didn't want to rush through just for the sake of a game. In the end she went with high fantasy, reducing her options to several hundred titles. After some further thought, she set the year of release date to the current year. That left four choices: two were sequels, the third seemed like a wishy-washy roleplay focused romance, which Twilight found outright boring, as for the last one… According to the description it was the long awaited successor of the critically acclaimed hit Damned Souls now providing a MMO experience.

“Damned Souls?” Twilight chuckled. That sounds like a title Applejack would come up with. The synopsis managed to intrigue her enough to do a quick online search for more info. The moment she saw the words “hardcore” and “controversial” scattered across the first paragraph, Twilight’s wings fluttered.

A game of extremely hard difficulty that encourages extreme skill and is filled with highly competitive players? A large grin appeared on her face. An instant later Twilight clicked on the download button. With her internet speed it took seventeen minutes and half to download the game and she counted every second of it. A few player guides were skimmed through as well, of course, but this time Twilight wanted to enjoy the element of exploration. She could always read up on things later if she needed to. The download complete, she launched the game.

The available starting classes were a fraction compared to those of Overkill. The selection system claimed that there were three races with ten classes each. According to the starter guide, in effect there were five perfect builds: Human Knight, Elven Archer, Elven Mage, Hollowed Cleric, and Hollowed Warrior. It would have been easy to pick any one of those, but Twilight was not one to settle for the standard path. One glance of the prestige classes and she knew what she wanted to become, and thanks to her analytical mind she knew how she could improve it. First thing was first: Twilight chose a female elf as her character base, set her class to Rogue, managed to pick a free name and appearance, then spent the next two hours adjusting skills and stats. Finally, when everything was perfect, she logged on.

The In-game character was far smaller than what she was used to. Even with the camera and the control scheme pretty similar to Overkill, the game screen was at least twice larger. Without wasting time Twilight tried out her basic controls followed by a few movement and attack combos. Each was done slowly, separate from the rest so she could gauge its efficiency.

“Hello,” a voice rang in her headphones. “New here?”

Twilight came to an abrupt stop, then turned the camera around. The person who had addressed her was an level forty-two elf warrior, a veteran judging by his level, though a somewhat inefficient one. What idiot picks an elf for a warrior? she wondered.

“Hey there.” Twilight made an attempt to sound sweet. “Yep. Just made my account.” A note of eagerness resonated in her words.

“Cool. Nice name by the way.” The elf approached. “You can call me Windy, short for WindSlasher.”

Recruiter, Twilight instantly thought. The game might be different, but the specific behaviour was unmistakable: inquire about the game, make a compliment, then investigate the player’s skill level. Twilight instantly did a web search on him. No results popped up, but that was normal for such a recent game.

“Fan of Damned Souls?” Windy asked.

“No, but I'm familiar with role playing,” Twilight lied. “Why can't I see your character name?”

“Check your settings. New players start with names hidden by default. Since you can't do PvP until level ten it doesn't matter much.”

“Ah.” Sounds logical. Twilight nodded. Most newbies would be lost with so much information. She, however, was not a newbie, so opened her settings and turned every possible option on, in addition to setting the gore and graphics level to maximum. “So, what now?

“Well, if you need help in anything just feel free to ask,” Windy’s voice cracked as he asked. “If you're familiar with action-rpgs it should be easy.” A friend request popped up on Twilight’s screen. Without hesitation she accepted it. “Now you can ping me whenever you're in trouble.”

“Sure.” Twilight took a mental breath. It took great effort for her not to yell into the mic. Playing Overkill for half an year had managed to ruin her to the state she'd lash out at anyone she found unskilled or condescending. “Well, I better start with the tutorial, then. I’ll give you a call later, okay?”

Windy sent her a smiley, then ran off possibly in search for other players to recruit. Twilight whispered a few swears under her breath then started with the tutorial. Ten minutes were enough to come to two conclusions: the game was much more complex and unforgiving, yet the tutorial was designed for fillies. Never before had she witnessed so much hoof holding. The initial missions were made in such a way that failure wasn't an option. Doing anything outside of the main path, however, resulted in instant death. Even with her speed, Twilight found she couldn't deal enough damage to the simplest level seven mobs. The fact her character was so weak only managed to wet her appetite for more.

It took her half an hour to complete the basic tutorials: combat, magic and crafting functionality elements filled the user interface, allowing them to be used in-game. Aware of her limitations, Twilight spent the first hours exploring. Every now and again more experienced players would note she was too low a level to be wandering in their zone, only to be completely ignored. If the game allows me to get there then I might as well, Twilight thought while dying in a battle against yet another monster. Her logic was sound: being a level five character protected her from item and experience loss. At the same time she could observe and experience the behavior patterns of the enemies, familiarizing herself for later play.

By midnight Twilight had managed to reach everywhere accessible part of the level. She had gone through a total of three hundred and nineteen deaths, fought against seventy eight enemy types, and accepted invitations from forty-three players. Not bad for the first day. The alicorn levitated her headphones off. Her horn was itching to play even if she knew she had to rest. For minutes she started at the screen, hesitating whether to continue or not, until finally logging off. Tomorrow. Twilight forced herself away from the computer. As soon as she did, her stomach growled.

“Fudge!” Twilight shouted. She had forgotten lunch and supper. The only thing she had eaten during the day was what Spike had made, plus half a packet of Skittles she'd found lying about her desk. Climbing off her beanbag, she stretched, yawned, then trotted into the kitchen. The fridge was alarmingly empty, holding a few bottles of mineral water, a bowl of rubies, and a pizza box with a sticky note reading For emergencies!

Thank you, Spike. Twilight shook her head then cast a spell to defrost it. While she ate her mind still lingered on the game. With some more active skills and better equipment, she could easily defeat a large part of the mobs. Of course she was still uncertain which ones to go after. With the game being new as it was there weren't many crafting guides and only partially complete monster drop lists. I’ll have to go through the guides again tomorrow. She chewed on a piece of pizza. It felt rubbery and slightly salty. Twilight endured a few slices, then put the rest back in the fridge. She'd order takeout the next day—curry, or possibly noodles. For the moment, she needed sleep.

The night was short and filled with strange dreams. Twilight saw herself trotting along the world of Damned Souls, discussing monsters’ weaknesses in polite conversations while they commented on hers. At one point Burdened appeared and told her team was getting crushed in Overkill and that the tournament organizers were begging her to return to save the event. As a reward they promised to let her to play as her knight character in Damned Souls. The notion had seemed so funny that Twilight instantly accepted then went on a rampage blasting skeleton knights with a rocket launcher. When she next opened her eyes it was morning. The sound of traffic was picking up as the digital clock marked eight minutes to seven. Close to full minute the alicorn stared as the seconds hand made a full rotation until her mind kicked in.

I overslept! Twilight jumped from her bed and turned on her PC, then while it booted rushed into the kitchen to get a few more slices of the rubbery pizza. By this point the food had barely any taste left, but Twilight didn't care. What was important was the game. Today was going to be a big day: the time she put her knowledge to use. Logging in, she levitated a bottle of water to her lips and took a large gulp. A message from Burdened popped up, announcing they had made it to the second round. Twilight ignored it, focused on her new obsession.

“Time to get cracking.” The princess levitated her headphones on.

Over a dozen messages awaited her upon logging on. A few were offers for help, most were crude jokes mixed with the occasional insult, all referred to the same thing: her reckless deaths of the day before.

Isn’t that cute. Twilight smirked. Apparently, the community had taken notice, dubbing her “Suicide girl”. Of course, they had no idea oh her real plans. Yesterday had been merely a scouting run preparing her for the real thing. Twilight closed her eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled evenly, then rushed out if the login zone.

This time she followed the path of least resistance. Her initial exploration allowed her to know perfectly which areas of the map to fight in for optimal drops and experience. With her limited vacation time she could not allow herself to engage in mindless grinding. The only way forward was to be smart and efficient.

All the guides and walkthroughs were adamant that it took an hour to reach to level ten. With Twilight’s speed and planning, it took her half that time. The reason level ten was such a significant milestone was because that was the point at which the first character specialization occurred. More important, that was the level from which she could join a guild and engage in PvP flights.

What do you think about me now, wing lickers?! Twilight grinned as she sent guild requests to all the recruiters on her friends list. The recent launch of the game worked in her favour. With the amount of new guilds recruiters were bound not to be picky. Sooner or later they would approach her. Until then she would level up and advance.

Twilight opened her character window. At this point of the game three specializations—Scoundrel, Thief, and Assassin—were available, each coming with new sets of skill categories. Assassin was a favourite among players, with its increased damage attacks. Twilight, however, chose Thief. At high speed, sneak attacks were considerably more efficient, not to mention it would allow access to the Blade Dancer class which had been her goal all along. Using the bare minimum, Twilight allocated a few points on her attributes so she could acquire the the skills that would best suit her. Damage wasn't the most important factor at present. It was far more vital that she—

A scroll flashed in front of her face, then fell on the keyboard. Twilight blinked. Spike? She levitated the scroll up. Did something happen?

Hey Twi,

Sorry I didn't get home last night. I'm fine. I slept at some friends. Will be with you in an hour (want to do some shopping first).

There's some hay in the cupboard if you want to make fries.

Be there soon,

Spike

Twilight laughed, then tossed the scroll away. Usually, she'd be furious at him for sleeping out without permission. Right now, though, her mind was occupied with other matters. Three points to agility, two to speed, one to endurance, five to magic, and she could perform melee-drain attacks. The amount of damage was minuscule, but it allowed her character to sustain itself almost indefinitely…provided her evasion skills were good. It was a mystery why so few player chose that skill provided how overpowered it was. With enough stamina she could remain in combat three times longer than before, which meant less breaks and more loot and experience.

Time to go hunting. Twilight proceeded to the nearest zone suited for her level.

Cleaning the area of Dread Knights, she then went to town and took all the available quests for her class. Thanks to the many early level guides she chained the objectives in such a fashion so as to complete an average of three quests per location. The experience offered wasn't much, the rewards were adequate, and there was the occasional free equipment piece to boot. The beauty of it was that all items could later be smelted and used to upgrade better equipment.

As Twilight pushed on, Dread Knights gave way to Soul Specters, then Fallen Incarnates. By noon she had climbed six more levels and ventured into unexplored zones. The attitude of the players had also gone through a major transformation. The snides were gone, replaced by words of praise and encouragement, and waves of friend requests.

What the fudge will you say now, eh? Twilight rubbed her hooves gleefully as she killed a named monster four levels higher. Suicide Girl has just become an Immortal Filly!

One level later a call request came in—Windy has asked for a meeting. Twilight froze. Her pulse picked up as she looked at the flashing icon on her screen. A day ago she barely knew about the game, let alone a random player. And yet her wings and hooves trembled at the thought that she'd become part of something much bigger than herself. It almost felt like the first time she had gone to Ponyville: the excitement, the eagerness, the tantalizing uncertainty. Playing games solo was a nice experience, but it couldn't compare to team missions—Overkill had taught her that. The possibility that she might join a guild, be it inexperienced, made her mouth water with anticipation.

“Hey, Windy—“

“Hey, Twilight!” A loud yell from the corridor. “Sorry I was late. It took forever to buy some of the stuff. People get an idea that you've from Equestria and they freak out. Like, it's worse than the Crystal Empire. At least there they only did that when I talked.” The voice steadily got louder.

Hay! Twilight’s wings fluffed up. She had hoped that Spike wouldn't be back for another few hours. Not now, Spike! She hissed under her breath. I’m right in the middle of important call here!

“So what have you been up to?” He peeked from the door.

Twilight glared. The large grin on Spike’s face further infuriated her.

“Nothing, Spike,” Twilight grumbled in teasing the volume on her PC. “Everything is fine.”

“Okay! So what do you want for lunch? I brought some amazing stuff, so can cook pretty much anything.” The dragon left the door open, as he went to the kitchen.

“Anything is fine.”

“Heh, I'll need a bit more details than that.”

Fudge it, Spike! “Haycakes and salad,” Twilight said the first thing that came to mind. In the meantime she muted her call and typed to Windy to give her a few minutes.

“I don't know.” Spike hesitated. “You sure you don't want a nettle soufflé? I think I've gotten used to Earth stuff enough to manage that.”

“Yes, perfect!”

“Or maybe something closer to home. Rarity always said that cucumber sandwiches are exquisite in times of stress.”

“Uh huh. Ideal!”

“Although, maybe that would be too fancy…”

Can’t you make up your mind?! You’ll cook what you want anyway, so why bother me with this nonsense!? Just prepare something and I'll eat it! Twilight slammed the door shut with a spell. There were times when Spike really needed to stop talking. And just to be sure she locked the door as well.

Good thing this isn't a video call. The princess unmuted her mic. “Sorry about that, Windy. My little brother is being obnoxious again.”

“Ah.” All the understanding in two worlds resonated in that one sound. “Gotcha.”

“Anyway, what's up?” Twilight quickly went back on topic.

“Oh, eh. A few people in my guild went through application…”

“Really?” Twilight feigned ignorance. “That was quick.” About time! “So what did you think?”

“Err, well… Will you be okay with a quick test?”

Twilight's smile turned into a grin, then grew even further. The moment she heard that she knew she had it in the bag. From what she had seen online, a test involved a boss mission. She would be asked to join a temp party to help out in a battle against a boss. If her skills were considered enough, which was an absolute certainty, she would be invited to join for a month-long trial period based on which she could then become a permanent member. Simple, efficient, and exactly what Twilight wanted.

“Of course. Just tell me when—“

A scroll popped in front of Twilight, covering talk the screen.

Making something new. Hope you like sweet and sour. It should done in an hour so wrap up your gaming by then.

Spike

Wrap up my gaming! Twilight wanted to shout. Fudging fudge! Can't I be left in peace for five minutes? If it's not a crisis it's a call from the U.N.! If it wasn't that, it would be Rainbow Dash crashing through the window. I can go two hours without food! Tossing the scroll away, she focused on the screen.

“Sorry, brother again,” Twilight said. “So, when do we start?”

“When will be good?” Windy asked. The crackle of his voice indicated he was as eager to go on the quest as she was. Apparently, a cute female voice combined with high player skill had that effect on human males... at least when she wasn't humiliating the people she was talking to in a crushing defeat. “Is now okay?”

“Sure.” She nodded on instinct. “Get things ready with your guild. I'll be leveling until you get here.”

It took less than ten minutes for the party to be assembled. In that time Twilight hadn't managed to gain enough experience for her next level, but had received three more scrolls from Spike, each more annoying than the last. Will you fudging stop it?! She had half a mind to teleport to the kitchen and speak her mind, but before she could, Windy had joined her in-game location.

“Saved by the quest,” Twilight hissed under her breath and focused on the screen.

Usually, the general practice was for three to five players to set off on test missions. The target most often was a minor boss, or named mob of the applicant’s level. To Twilight’s surprise, seven players had appeared at her location. They were all of the same guild, all level twenty or more.That’s unexpected. The princess accepted the group invitation, then joined the party chat.

“Umm, hello?” Her voice was more surprised than tense. “I’m Word’s Worth. Is everything okay?” What a crappy introduction! Twilight wanted to smack herself. She'd done better in elementary school.

“You're Suicide Girl?” one of the characters asked. He was a massive human barbarian with multiple weapons. Another imperfect class, Twilight thought. Do you even read guides?! “Why’d you pick that crappy class?”

“Umm, I want to specialize into a Blade Dancer?” Twilight smiled on instinct. It was said that people could hear a smile across the microphone. True or not she didn't want to risk it. “The guides said it's the only path to reach it.”

“Yeah, but you'll have to get to level fifty to make a difference.” The barbarian smirked. His name was SkullBash, which, aside from sounding like a stupid name, also happened to be the alt of a guild lieutenant. Upon finding this out, Twilight did another three checks just be to be certain. The results remained the same.

Fudging yes! She flapped her wings, victorious. She was just approached by a lieutenant. That was both rare and extremely promising. The last time she felt so excited was the first time she was allowed in the forbidden section of the Royal Canterlot Library. The two things could hardly compare, but the tingling through her fur felt similar.

“So windy tells me you reached level fourteen in half a day,” Skull noted. “Not bad, for a noob. You sure you won't slow us down?”

Typical recruiter posturing. It was obvious he was interested in her. If nothing else he wanted to see Twilight play firsthand. Why else would someone of his importance come here just to see her.

“Only if I have to save all of you from mobs.” Twilight laughed. “I take it we aren't going on a newbie quest.”

Most of the characters froze. Mute icons appeared on everyone apart from skull. It was obvious they had entered a discussion. Only SkullBash remained as casual as before, making his way to Twilight’s character.

“Oh?” He stopped right in front of her.

“Eight characters,” Twilight explained. “At your level that's too much to fight a mob or even a minor boss. If you wanted to observe me, you could have had someone from your guild share their view. So we're going for something dangerous.”

“Seems you're not just talk.”

You bet I'm not. I can crush you here and now, tail wiper!

“We’re going for a new boss. It's a low level monster, but a new one so no one has figured out how to defeat it yet.” There was a slight pause. “Don't expect to succeed.”

Fudging shit! Twilight wanted to cry. I’m part of a scouting mission. From what she had glimpsed at last night, scouting missions were MMO the equivalent of holding someone’s place in line. The players involved didn't get to complete the mission, or even enjoy it. Their goal was to find a way to the boss, going through all the traps in the process, they trying as many actions as possible on him. For that reason the standard team was twice as big: half did the testing while the rest healed and resurrected them for as long as they could. And because of Twilight's three hundred deaths the day before she was the perfect candidate to help out.

“I still get to join the guild, right?” Twilight grumbled.

“If you're good enough, sure.” SkullBash had his character perform the nod reaction.

I level up twice as fast and I'm still just “Suicide Girl”. Twilight tightened her jaw. “What's the name of the quest?”

“The Fire-bane Candle.” SkullBash said in a matter-of-fact voice. “We're going to try to reach Dead Poet Decimus. If we get to him in three tries, you're in.”

“Good.” Twilight ruffled her wings. Fudge you, horn sucker! With three tries I'll reach the boss and kill him by myself! She opened two browser windows for information. The great thing about Damned Souls was that any monster, no matter how powerful, could be killed by a single person…provided her character could deal enough damage. Larger monsters simply had such high life generation that they healed more damage than they received from one person.

Fudge! Twilight stomped on the ground with her rear hooves. The information was scant as could be. From what was known the quest involved going through Ash Forest into Soulmist Canyon, where a cave would lead to the Decimus’ hidden chamber. So far most scouting groups hadn't managed to go through the forest. The chances of success were ridiculously small. Twilight licked her lips. Now there's a challenge. I bet I can—

“Twilight, food is ready!” Spike shouted outside the room. “Are you done yet?”

Fudging hay, Spike! “I'm busy, Spike!” the princess shouted, muting her microphone once more.

“Well, unbusy yourself for half an hour! Food’s warm.”

“Spike!” Twilight gnashed her teeth. “Just leave it on the table! I'll eat when I'm hungry!”

Dozens of thoughts went through Twilight’s mind, most would have gotten her another one month ban. Since none of them were voices, she focused on the game once more. Providing the now traditional brother excuse, she followed the party to the quest’s starting point.

Ash Forest was one of those places that were more ominous that it sounded. The environment objects were relatively good, though not as detailed as in Overkill. Twilight had managed to explore some of it during her suicide run yesterday. The most common monsters in part were Soulstricken, Hollowed Beasts, and Blood Valkyries—far too powerful for a level five character, but not much of a challenge for a level fourteen. Seeing how random and inefficient the party was, however, made Twilight’s ears flick. In Overkill she would be shouting her head off by now, yet here she bit her lip and endured as the characters around her wasted actions. Seriously? And I'm the one who’s being tested? She dispatched Hollowed Beast in a series of twenty two elegant moves. The display of skill was obvious, even a few people from the party commented on it. Not SkullBash, though. He'd make a few sarcastic comments, point out something obvious, then move on forward. It was the same pattern over and over again.

By the time they had reached the canyon Twilight’s character had earned two more levels. It was here that Twilight faced her first real decision. Based on the the guides the monsters would be much stronger from now on. She could spend some of the experience points she had hoarded to increases her damage stats, but that would leave her less points for Blade Dancer skills. On the other hoof, she could continue with her present character, hoping to reach the boss. The clerics in the party hadn't used any resurrection spells yet, although they had been rather indiscriminate in their healing. Given enough effort, she could—

A sheet of paper appear on front of the screen. Unlike the scrolls it was completely unfolded, with the words The food is in the fridge written in large block letters.

“Fudge it!” Twilight cast a spell incinerating the message. Do you deliberately pick the worst possible moment?! Her entire body shook for a few seconds. Must keep going. She told herself. A little bit more and she’d be at the Decimus. There was no point in wasting points at this stage. This was merely the first run. If the entire party happened to suddenly be wiped out she could adjust her character stats as appropriate.

“Want to rest?” Windy offered.

“Nope, I'm fine.” Twilight shook her head even if she knew they couldn't see her.

“Okay, but I'll have to go soon. Have homework for tomorrow.”

“Let just try to find the entrance,” SkullBash said, more like an order.

The party went on. It was Twilight pleading now. So far she hadn't died even once. She had barely been dealt any damage whatsoever. Naturally, it helped that while she was distracting the mob’s her teammates would use range attacks to debut and kill her enemies.

A few minutes in and Twilight was in a large stone canyon surrounded by stone spies and columns. It didn't take long for the first new enemy type to appear: Stone Wolves. As any other beast, they were extremely fast and agile, and because of the stone hide, had a natural soak that reduced all dealt damage by half.

Twilight zigzagged with her character round the beasts, attempting to perfect her kiting. That didn't prove by far as easy as she thought. The moment she crossed the invisible threshold the wolves would stop attempting to catch up, and instead leap directly in front of her…or worse—they'd leap to the nearest other party member, often resulting in a death.

“I have this!” Twilight rushed her character forward, trying to divert the attention to herself. It would be incredibly stupid if the quest failed because the rest of the party died. “Use range attacks and keep looking for the cave entrance!”

“Remember, the point is to discover how they behave,” SkullBash remarked. “And how to kill them.”

Fudge you wing licker! You play like a boneless chicken in August! Twilight pressed on. Even with her skills it was difficult to avoid damage. The healing support was adequate, even if on three occasions her character was dangerously close to dying. Worse, not too long after the quest failed, and through no fault of Twilight. One of the mission requirements was that the party didn't fall under three people, which it did, despite Twilight’s frantic shouting in the microphone. They had to start the entire thing from the beginning.

The second time went far smoother, even if Windy had left the party to do his homework. In part, Twilight found that admirable, just as she was annoyed that he had left her to deal with weakling players. At least they had learned to coordinate their actions with hers better. By the time they had reached the canyon they were effectively working as a team. They can learn, at least. Twilight’s lips curved into a smile. She had better control of her actions now, keeping the wolves in immediate vicinity, while the others used their range attacks to defeat the mobs.

“Don’t aggro too many,” SkullBash said. “Slow and steady wins the race.”

“What are you? Forty?” Twilight snorted as she deliberately punched a third Stone Wolf. She had had it with advice, even if it seemed useful. Spike with his fudging food, you with your constant caution. What the hay do you want from me?! I know what I'm doing! I'm a fudging Princess and U.N. Ambassador! I can schedule a few tasks just fine if you'd stop treating me like a filly!

“Close…”

“Well, it shows!” A single cold shiver passed through Twilight’s chest. Maybe that was a bit much. “Look, the pattern is simple. If I'm careful, the wolves won't harm me and we’ll save up some time.” Logic came to the rescue. “We still have to find the entrance, right? If it's only wolves and—“

A few steps from Twilight’s character, the ground erupted in a fountain of rocks. The princess immediately performed a double leap backwards, but even so suffered a vast amount of damage. Two thirds of her health bar were gone.

“Fucking hell!” Twilight screamed. “What the fudging fudge?!”

The new creature had a level of twenty five, towering ten feet above her character. The mob was so large that the camera had to zoom back out so it could remain on screen. Oh my fudging stars! Twilight swallowed. If the name of the monster—Progenitor of Rust—wasn’t enough to scare her, the fact that her character seemed like an ant next to it was. Its form was that of a standard golem, but calling it a golem would be like mistaking a tiger for a kitten. Particles of rust trickled down as the mountain moved forward, swords and axes sticking out of its entire body.

“Why the fudge is there a boss here?” Twilight shouted while simultaneously running searches on three different web engines. The only results were a few forum threads from a few days ago asking if anyone had seen the Progenitor before.

Fudging perfect! Twilight opened through her inventory window. The presence of a new monster scared and thrilled her at the same time. She could feel a tingling sensation in her chest, as her pulse hastened, sending jolts to the tip of her horn. An unkilled boss, Twilight though. Killing it was be a feat in itself, even if she wasn't accepted in the guild; it would be a testament to her skills.

“I'm going for the Progenitor!” Twilight said with the authority of ruler. In a second she opened her character stats section and allocated all available attribute points. She already knew exactly the build she was going for, so there was little sense in hoarding them. Of the skills she only maxed out her Soul Drain attack—anything that would provide her extra health in battle was very welcome right now. “You all stand back and be ready to heal me if I need it.” As she said it a circle of light surrounded her restoring her health bar to full. “Thanks.” That was sweet. “Don't attack until I tell you to!”

“You're crazy! You can't take on a new boss,” SkullBash said. Apparently he had done his homework as well. “You'll just get killed.”

“We’ll see.” Twilight grinned. “I'm not Suicide Girl for nothing.” Fudge that sounded lame. “Just keep me alive.”

Standard golems had a heavy punch, but for the most part did area damage. Their attacks were slow with a huge range. Twilight had felt the initial blow, so she knew what to expect when the boss entered his enraged state. Judging by the swords on him, she didn't exclude some type of special range attack as well. Sword Throw or Arrow Rain seemed an appropriate guess, possibly some blinding and slow effects due to the rust particles as well. Either way now was a time to find out. Buffing her character’s speed and agility, Twilight rushed forward. She was following a zigzag pattern out of habit, even if there was no particular point.

“Be on the lookout for minor mobs!” Twilight said as she performed her first attack combo on the golem’s leg. “He might have summon.”

The Progenitor’s health bar barely changed. Aren’t you a heap of hay? Twilight continued with a follow up attack. According to the numbers on screen, she was dealing damage in the hundreds, and still only decreased the boss’ health by a pixel at a time. At the current rate the battle would last for approximately twenty minutes—not a lot, though possibly beyond her magic capability. With this amount of actions per minute, Twilight was certain to be exhausted in half that time. Maybe I should have taken a bite. Sweat trickled down her forehead.

“You want us to attack?” SkullBash’s voice rang in her headphones.

“No!” Twilight shouted. “I'm good. He might go berserk when enraged.”

I just have to find the weak spots. Twilight circled round the golem. So far evading him was easily. The attacks, although devastating, only dealt damage in a ten foot radius. Running around while attacking ensured she would never be harmed. So where are you vulnerable? The alicorn took a screenshot of the Progenitor and moved it to the second monitor, while still fighting. There didn't seem to be any brightly colored areas visible, the entire body was in various degrees of black and rusty brown. The eyes were the only place she could think of, yet throwing daggers at them had no effect. Maybe it was a precision thing? Twilight considered. Several of the monsters she had encountered had extremely small vulnerable areas that could only be hit by skilled players. Even if it were unlikely the same to apply to a boss, the way things were going Twilight had to risk it. With her magic gone, she couldn't even move her mouse adequately.

“Guys, can you buff me with what you have?” the princess asked. The boss’ health was at eighty percent, and decreasing painfully slow. “I'll try something.”

Double jump, slash, slash, spin attack, then double jump. She calculated. It wasn't an overly difficult combo, although she had to carefully position the jumps. Slightly off and she'd slide back down. The sound of spells being cast filled her headphones, followed by icons popping up over her character.

“Time to enjoy the show, wing licker,” Twilight whispered under her breath and started her attack. Magic danced all over the mouse and keyboard, launching her up the golem’s side. A double jump landed her character on the Progenitor’s knee, where she performed a triple attack before jumping higher. Buffed, the damage was considerably higher. Had Twilight’s character been double in level she could probably take with this boss in fifteen minutes on her own with half the effort.

The second jump took the character to the monster’s hip, a third onto his arm, and the final one on its shoulder. Holding her breath, Twilight moved the character in extreme vicinity to the boss’s head and zoomed in the camera view. The facial features were extremely detailed, too detailed for a simple model. There had to be a weak spot somewhere there! When in doubt, go for the eyes. Twilight moved closer to the screen. The timing was going to be tricky, but she could manage. As long as—

A sheet of paper popped into existence, blocking the screen.

“Fudging hay!” Twilight jumped back on instinct. Her heart was thumping heard as if trying to jump out of her rib cage. A second scream was heard in her headphones, this time belonging to her character.

As the sheet of paper fell to the floor, Twilight watched helplessly as her character fell off the golem to her death. There was a moment of stillness, of absolute silence in which everything in the universe didn't matter…followed by a scream of rage.

“Spiiiike!” the princess roared, tossing her headphones to the floor. “Can't you leave me alone for five fudging minutes! Fudge! Hay! Fudge! Fudge! Again and again about the food! Every single time!” She glared at the piece of paper. “I swear, I'm going to read this and I will shove it down your throat!” She levitated it up in front of her.

It's 4:00. I'm going to bed.

Spike

“Oh.” Twilight looked at the window. Through the blinds she could just make out part of the night sky. Oops. She bit her lip. Where did all the time got to? She could have sworn that Spike came back ten minutes ago. He was at the door discussing lunch reveries just a moment ago…surely.

Twilight looked at the screen. Her character had respawned in the starting zone. The party chat was flowing with messages of alarm and concern, asking if she was alright. Maybe I really do have a gaming problem? Four in the morning. That means he had been playing for almost twenty hours non-stop.

I better tell the guys what happened. Twilight levitated her headset on. Stars know what they thought hearing me scream like that. I'll just come up with an excuse and tell them bye for the night. It's not like anyone will steal the boss… She swallowed. The battle was fresh in her mind. With enough buffs and a better strategy she'd be able to defeat it easily. She needed just a few more levels to specialize into a Blade Dancer and then would have a huge advantage.

“Sorry, guys,” Twilight said into the microphone. “My little brother startled me again. I didn't mean to mess up. Anyway…” Twilight paused. She didn't want to quit. Her legs felt slightly stiff, her horn was hot, and still she didn't feel tired. If she paced herself she might be able to last a while longer. One more run couldn't hurt. “Guys, you okay for another go?”