The Conversion Bureau: Waking From a Nightmare

Chapter 4: Armed

The room was small and cramped; it gave the impression of an office, but the concrete walls threw off the look. The wooden desk with a computer and a lamp on the top of it didn't help matters either. Behind the desk stood Twilight Sparkle, glaring daggers at my accomplice and I.

Despite how strong I knew the ponies were, it was hard to look at Twilight and be too intimidated by her, and it seemed like she was actually having to try pretty hard to be angry at us.

Twilight sighed and shook her head, "Dash, what am I going to do with you?"

Rainbow Dash, the ever-confident mare, began to float off the ground and crossed her front hooves, "What was I supposed to do Twi? Matt was gone so I decided to take matters into my own hooves. The humans are finally starting to trust us, and he goes and starts causing trouble in the middle of the damn chow hall. Everybody cheered when we got him! What did you want me to do?"

Twilight's gaze narrowed at Dash, "Restrain yourself."

"Pff, easier said than done."

I cleared my throat, "Erm... I uh... I was the one that threw the first punch, you shouldn't blame Dash, she was just backing me up."

Dash turned to me, a warm smile slowly forming on her face.

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Listen Rainbow, I love you like a sister, but honestly, you two should have waited for Matt to come back. He's our Commander, he could have easily handled John."

I ran a hand through my hair and let out a sigh, "He was talking shit about you guys."

"Us?"

"Yeah, ponies. I say anybody that can throw aside the things they know to help a bunch of strangers... they're okay in my book, and I didn't like him talking about all of you like that, especially not Dash."

Twilight cocked an eyebrow, "What did he say about Rainbow?"

Dash blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of her head and letting out a nervous laugh, "Erm... I uh..."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose for a second, then looked back up to Twilight, "He asked if we were uh... you know..."

There was a long, drawn out moment of dead silence. I could go on record to say it was the most uncomfortable silence I had ever experienced in my entire life.

Twilight's eyes widened as she slowly comprehended the information we had just given to her, "Oh... OH!"

Dash grinned, obviously trying to play off her own embarrassment, "I mean, whatever, right?! Like it'd be any of his business, it'd just piss me off even more if it was true and he said that!"

I coughed loudly, turning my head away.

I saw Twilight smirk, and when I turned back Dash was frowning with a blush still on her face, "I didn't mean it like that! I'm not THAT kinky! He's a human!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and laughed, "Whatever you say Rainbow."

"I'm serious!"

I nodded, "She's serious."

"Alright alright get out of my office, I have work to do."

Dash gave Twilight a mock salute, "Aye aye Ma'am."

"Enough of that."

For the next couple of hours Dash showed me around the underground base, regaling me with tails of her heroics the entire way, along with the description of whatever area we happened to be walking through at the time. The place was definitely as huge as I thought it would after my first impression. The hallways were like ant tunnels, winding in and out of each other like a confusing maze, but Dash never once lost her way.

She brought me to the barracks, several rooms with bunk beds and lockers lining each wall for a long ways, ponies on one side and humans on the other, with further separation of gender. Next was the generator room, every once in a while we would have to go out to buy and raid supplies, which included gas and diesel for the various generators we had powering the complex.

Then to the armory, where our weaponry was kept while off duty, and retrieved when we went on post.

It was a large room that was split by a fence with small chain linked doors on either side, both locked by padlocks. Lining the fence were holes with wooden counters, and behind these counters were both ponies and humans, issuing and taking weapons from the lines leading to them. Behind the fence were shelves stocked to the brim with military equipment, everything from uniforms to armor and weaponry.

"Seems like you guys got a military setup here."

Dash turned to me and grinned, "You can thank Matt for that, he already had it halfway done by the time all of the ponies started showing up. He was ex-military, high ranking too. Most of this stuff we get from scavenging or quick raids on the Royal Guard depots that he leads."

"First name basis, huh?" I muttered.

Dash blinked, tilting her head, "Yeah... he's a close friend."

I smirked, "It's just kind of weird, he's your commanding officer, isn't he?"

Dash flew up to my level and slugged me in the arm with a laugh, "Yeah, but why the heck would that matter?! He's still a friend, like you!"

I smiled, rubbing my arm, "Thanks."

"OH, OOOOOOO, OH OH OH, we should totally get you some guns while you're here!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Dash, I've never fired a gun in my life."

Dash waved a hoof, "Details, it's not that hard. Here!" She pulled the helmet from her head and handed it to me upside down. Inside I could see slips of paper tucked into the side straps, "Take one of these forms up to the counter, ask for an M4 with a red dot and an M9, don't forget your LBE either!"

"LBE?"

Dash rolled her eyes, "Load Bearing Equipment! Ugh... look, I'll go up with you, c'mon."

We then proceeded to wait in the line for the middle counter for what felt like hours. When we were three people away from the counter Dash pointed to the corner of the room, where there appeared to be a square area designated by red tape on the ground. This square also had a line leading to it, and inside there square was what appeared to be a large cylinder set diagonally by the stand. Inside the cylinder was a rubber chamber with a circular indent.

A man walked to the cylinder with his weapon and planted the muzzle inside of it, then proceeded to pop the magazine loose , click a switch on the weapon, pull and lock the charging handle, and look inside the chamber.

"Dash, wha..."

"It's a clearing barrel doofus, for weapon safety. When you check out your weapon you make sure it's clear before loading it, and when you turn it in you gotta make sure it's empty beforehand."

Finally, after Dash's little lecture, we were able to approach the counter, which was manned by an orange pegasus mare with a bright purple mane. I peeked over the counter a bit to get a look at her cutie mark, a lightning bolt.

"Rainbow Dash!" she shouted, a huge grin on her face, "Where the hell have you been!?"

Dash laughed, "Oh you know me Scootaloo, doing runs, causing trouble."

"Hahaha, don't I know it? I heard about that mess in the chow hall. Who's the big guy?"

Dash flew up next to me and wrapped a hoof around my shoulders, "THIS is Kyle, the new guy. Kyle, meet Scootaloo, second fastest flyer in all of Equestria, and a pretty decent dancer."

"Who's the first?"

Dash rolled her eyes and bonked me on the head, "Duh! You can't be that dumb, me doofus."

"Right, Rainbow Dash, should have figured."

"Anyways," said Scootaloo, still grinning like an idiot, "What can I do you for Dashie?"

"The big guy here needs Equipment, a medium vest should do, but uh..." Dash looked up at me and bit her bottom lip, "Ya might wanna get a large helmet for his huge hea... OW!"

My knuckle digging into her shoulder silenced her quickly.

Scootaloo laughed, "You two seem like you're getting along."

"The bro card has been issued," I deadpanned.

Dash smiled and shoved me with her hoof, "Your pretty words get you nothing."

I grinned, "Sure they don't."

"Alright, I'll set up a bag for him."

Dash pulled the helmet from her head and presented it to me. I took one of the slips of paper and filled it out with the pen sitting on the counter. Name, birthday, blah blah blah.

Dash sighed, "NORMALLY we would do a screening to make sure you would be okay handling a weapon. John's probably not gonna be able to carry a gun around after that mess a while ago. Your recruitment process hasn't exactly been... by the book. Twilight's probably gonna chew my ass for this, but I'm in charge of the armory, and I trust you with a gun, especially since I'll be the one instructing you."

"Sounds good to me."

Scootaloo took the form and smiled up at me, "Alrighty then, I'll get your bag set up, should be done tomorrow. Let me know when you guys wanna go out to the range and you can grab it. Make sure that if you get sent out on a mission you come and retrieve your gear two hours before mount."

"Mount?"

"Briefing," said Dash.

"Ah... uh... alright then, thanks... I guess."

As we exited the armory Dash flew next to me, grinning, "So, bros huh? You know what that means?"

"Booze?"

She chuckled as we started walking, "Kyle, you have NO idea the mess you just got yourself into, I will drink you under the table."

"I beg to differ, humans have higher tolerance."

Dash smirked, "So young and naive."

I raised an eyebrow, "Young?"

"Uh, yeah, duh, I'm sixteen years older than you."

I nodded in comprehension, "Right, I keep forgetting about the whole twice as long living thingus. Kinda like elves."

Dash laughed, "That is probably... THE best comparison I have ever heard, minus the HLF ponies."

"Why's that?"

"HA! Are you kidding me? Snooty, superior, 'humans are violent apes that must be cleansed.' Even the OTHER ones, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, but this is the only way to save you.' Fuck those guys, if they really wanted to save your planet they'd do what Twilight's been doing."

"What's that?"

"Busting her ass trying to get rid of the barrier, and if that fails, make it so humans can use magic."

I stopped and grabbed Dash's hoof, "Wait, what?"

Dash sighed as I let her go, then turned in the air to face me, "The main issue with the barrier is that Equestria is pure magical energy and the barrier is the only thing stopping you from becoming a magic Hotpocket." She brought her hooves together, and then threw them out to simulate an explosion, "SPLCRSH, guts everywhere, not a pleasant sight."

"So Twilight is trying to find a way we can live in Equestria?"

"That's the priority right now. Most of Earth has already been consumed, and our economy is already crap, so taking on the rest of the humans won't hurt much. The hard part will be after that."

"Living in Equestria."

"Yeah, it's not so different though, especially now that we have technology. Once everything stabilizes things will get better."

"What about the Princess?"

Dash frowned, "We... haven't figured out a solution to that problem yet. It's not exactly easy."

"Sorry."

"No, no don't worry about it. It's a touchy subject with all of us."

"You said you were the Element of Loyalty? It must have really stung when you had to turn on her." I planted a hand on her shoulder as she frowned, and knelt down as her wings tucked in and she landed in front of me.

"Yeah," she said softly, "It did, but... but it was either betray her, or betray myself and my friends."

Dash went silent.

After a long moment, she opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a loud buzzing noise, followed by crackling.

"Attention Seattle Division, three hours until Guard Mount, report to team leads."

Dash frowned, "We should get to the briefing room, we have to hit that Bureau tonight. We won't have time to get your stuff in order, so you can commandeer John's vest, the asshole won't be needing it for a while."

"Wait, I'm going with you?"

"Yeah, no gun though, just stick with my team and you'll be fine. Let's get going."