Author's Note

Another collab, more hijinks!

Detoxification

The Shadowbolts all sat around the lounge at Autobot HQ, quietly sitting on the couches as they fiddled with their phones, either checking the progress on their orders or trying to entertain themselves through the endless boredom that plagued their minds.

“Hey, girls?” Indigo was the one to break the silence. “Are you still mad that I did that prank on you today? Because I totally didn’t mean for any of it.”

“Indigo,” Sugarcoat huffed. “You almost got the Autobot base on camera for the world to see. That’s not a prank, it’s disclosing our secret hideout and giving the Decepticons a clean shot at us.”

“But, to be fair, Sugarcoat, you kinda had a hand in making it worse.” Sunny Flare twisted her wrist and rolled her eyes. “If it wasn’t for you trying to swipe Indigo’s phone, then we would’ve been able to solve that little dispute easier.”

“Sunny, you don’t talk your way out of problems at Crystal Prep. You actually have to take charge and clean up after someone’s misdemeanors,” said Sugarcoat. “The only reason why you didn’t contribute anything to this little debacle was because you were so focused on trying to find the right solution when it was clearly right in front of you.”

“Oh, so because I tried to fix a prank, that makes me the bad girl now?” Sunny cocked a brow. “Honestly, Sugarcoat, you need to get some therapy for that head of yours. Take some pills or get a psychiatrist or something.”

“I do have a psychiatrist, actually.” Sugarcoat lifted her finger. “One that helps me deal with the stress of all of your dysfunctions.”

“Then you need to fire that psychiatrist and get a better one.” Sour Sweet tipped her hand as she continued examining the pictures on her phone. “Like mine, for instance. If it wasn’t for her, then I probably wouldn’t have Smallfoot as a girlfriend.”

“How is that working out for you, anyway? Made it to third base yet?” Sugarcoat turned away. “Oh that’s right. You can’t. It’s impossible for a girl and a robot to get married.”

“First of all, Smallfoot’s a cyborg, not a robot. And two, you need to back off, Sugarcoat!” Sour got up from the couch and stomped up to Sugar’s face.

“It’s the truth, Sour.” Sugarcoat crossed her arms. “I’m not going to lie because I want to keep immersion, because that goes against every little piece of solid evidence laid on the table. It’s. Never. Gonna. Happen.”

“Why you…” Sour snarled and tightened her hand into a fist.

And just like that, the Shadowbolts all started arguing with each other in perfect sync. They slung verbal attack after attack, but neither side was willing to back down. The only one taking a backseat was Lemon Zest, who was casually jamming away on her headphones, the blaring noise of heavy metal drowning out whatever speech came from the others.

“Girls. May I have your attention please?” Wheeljack walked into the lounge but saw the Shadowbolts quarreling and shouting at each other, completely oblivious to his entrance. He slapped his face and pulled out a small blaster, firing shots at all five of the girls, which encapsulated them inside energon bubbles. “I said, may I have your attention please!”

“Oh, hey, Wheeljack.” Lemon Zest took her headphones off and smiled at him. “How’s it hangin’?”

“Good, but I’m afraid that I can’t really say the same about any of you.” Wheeljack held up a clipboard and flipped through the notes. “Over the past few weeks, your hostility’s been getting more and more erratic. It’s only a matter of time before one of you snaps and does something you’ll end up regretting.”

“Cut the scrap, Wheeljack.” Indigo crossed her arms. “What do you want from us?”

“Optimus Prime has ordered me to take you five away to my lab for a private de-toxification experiment.” Wheeljack’s mask opened up, revealing his nose and mouth. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna cut into you or shove anything up your butts if that’s what you’re wondering. Just gonna stuff you inside a machine and drain some bad vibes out of you. That’s all.”

“What if we say no?” Sour Sweet tilted her head. “Because I need to give Sugarcoat a good piece of my mind right about now for insulting Smallfoot…”

“I’m afraid you’re not getting a choice in the matter, girls.” Wheeljack’s blaster fired five streams that connected to the bubbles and started dragging the girls out of the room. “You’re going to be de-toxified whether you like it or not.” He welded the blaster onto his back and transformed into vehicle mode. “Trust me, once this is over, you’ll be much nicer people.”

“Wait, can’t we talk about thi” —but before Sunny could finish, the five Shadowbolts were shot down the hallways, dragging right behind Wheeljack, who wasted no time in making it to his lab— “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS?”

Wheeljack jumped back into transformer mode and stopped outside his lab, feeling the girls’ bubbles crash into his back. He just took it on the chin and slowly walked into the room, pushing the girls in with him. He then shut the door and activated the lock, sealing the five of them in.

“Look, girls, let’s face the facts here: You’re not healthy people at all.” Wheeljack crossed his arms as his welding torch turned to his back and freed the blaster. “Optimus Prime gave me this order direct, and I’m not about to fail him now. You. Need. This. No exceptions, no escapes, and no excuses.”

“I knew I should’ve stayed in bed today…” Sugarcoat rubbed her temples as she watched Wheeljack walked towards a giant capsule with plush seats inside. It was almost like a steam room or sauna in a way, but with a more rounded design.

“Look, girls, I’m not gonna be one to fan any flames, but if this came from Optimus friggin Prime of all people, then we should just do the right thing and obey.” Lemon Zest took her headphones off and hung then over her arm. “We don’t want another ban like the last time…”

“Lemon Zest, I appreciate the effort, dearie, but I hardly think that Optimus would keep on kicking us out of the base for little mistakes like this.” Sunny Flare turned to Lemon and looked into her eyes.

“Yeah. He actually said that if any of you try and escape, you’ll be blacklisted from Autobot HQ.” Wheeljack floated the bubbles towards the machine.

Lemon’s eyes shrunk into tiny pinpricks as a fast smile covered her face. “Fire up the machine, Wheeljack! We’re good to go!” she giggled nervously.

Wheeljack put all of the girls’ bubbles directly over separate parts of the machine’s plush upholstery, then cut the bubbles and closed the hatch simultaneously, leaving the girls no time to react to anything as the device whirred into life.

“Y’know, Lemon, you’re a real kiss-up, right?” Indigo crossed her arms. “Don’t wanna get kicked out of the base because you’re worried you’ll be bored as heck without it.”

“Indy, we have to do this.” Lemon turned to Indigo and begged, making puppy-dog eyes as she stared into hers. “We don’t wanna get banned from Autobot HQ for life…”

“No, no! Don’t give me the puppy-eyes!” Indigo pleaded. “Anything but the puppy-eyes!”

“Too late, Indigo. It’s one of Zest’s best tricks.” Sour smirked. “Those eyes can end war if they wanted.”

“If they can end war easily, we could have just sent her by herself on the field.” Sugarcoat huffed.

“Looks like Wheeljack was right about one thing, Sugarcoat. You of all people needed this the most,” said Sunny Flare. “Now, just relax, close your eyes, and let everything get sucked out of your head.”

Suddenly, the machine began to rattle and shudder, like the girls were trapped in a washing machine that was about to start washing.

“Alright… let there be light!” Wheeljack screamed and mashed a giant red button on the machine.

Inside the machine, the girls all felt bolts of lightning strike them directly in the brains. It did hurt for the first moment, but eventually, the pain whittled down into something of a gentle massage as the energy coiled itself around the girls. The powerful streams of energy made the entire machine’s insides glow bright white, causing the shadows of the Shadowbolts to disappear off of their bodies and hang in the air, like black tar bubbles rising off of a pit.

Screams and roars could be heard as the black bubbles wiggled and tried to make bodies, but before they could even grow arms, they were sucked out of the machine through a tube at the top and drained into a large canister by the machine’s outside.

Wheeljack’s eyes drooped. “Oh my god, I killed them… I’m a terrible scientist, I should never be allowed to experiment on humans! Hound is going to kill me! ”

In a black plain of space, the black bubbles finally started to take shape. They grew slender arms and legs, almost like they were girl’s limbs. They had backs, toes, fingers, and heads as well. Once their bodies were complete, the black mass started to mold itself into black, gooey versions of the Shadowbolts, that dripped ooze from every corner of their new bodies. Before they could cover their private parts up, the black goo created clothes almost similar to that of the real Shadowbolts.

“Well, that was a disaster if ever I saw it,” said the black ooze that resembled Sugarcoat. “And what a waste of good machinery too. Wheeljack shouldn’t even be in HQ with a stunt like that.”

“You see everything as a disaster.” the ooze that resembled Indigo Zap.

“Oh, you’re right, Indigo. I do!” said the oozy Sunny Flare. “I’ve got bills to pay, I’ve got a cat to feed, my grades are gonna fall to pieces, and we’re all stuck who knows where!”

“Will you shut up, Sunny!? You’re giving me a headache!” an oozy Sour yelled.

The last bit of goo which resembled Lemon wasn’t that upset, but was instead just jamming out on her headphones, not even caring about anything around her.

“Ugh. I feel like I’ve just been dragged into a shitty spa mud bath and back out again.” Sugarcoat tried to shake the goo off but couldn’t do a thing about it. “Some de-toxification device, huh, Wheeljack…” Then, Toxic Sugarcoat’s eyes widened as the truth dawned on her. “De-toxification… Oh, shit!”

“What is it, Sugarcoat?” Toxic Sunny asked. “Please tell me you’re having a crisis too, that way, we can share the pain together!”

“That’s just it, Sunny! The machine didn’t blow up, we’re not dead, and we’re certainly not at Autobot HQ anymore!” Sugarcoat rounded up the bolts. “Don’t you get it, girls?! The black skins? The negative personalities? We’re the toxins! WE’RE WHAT GOT REMOVED!”

Wheeljack pulled a lever down, allowing the machines that contained the girls to open up. Soon, the five Crystal Prep girls exited out of the machines and in the open.

“So… are you girls are alright?” Wheeljack winced. “I hope you didn’t get hurt in there…”

“No, Wheeljack. In fact,” Sour ended up making a little chuckle. “We feel great. It’s like the best steam room I’ve ever been in!”

Wheeljack blinked. “Uh… is Sour usually this happy? The only time I’ve seen her this happy is when she’s with Smallfoot, but she’s not here right now.”

“Actually, I feel the same way too.” Indigo took a breath of air. “Man, it feels good to get the bad stuff out of your system, huh?”

“I agree, Indy!” said Lemon. “Hugsies!” And she pulled Indigo into a hug, who gave her one back.

“Indigo isn’t… pushing her away from a big hug?” Wheeljack tilted his head.

“So, what do you want us to do now, Wheeljack?” Sugarcoat smiled. “We could wash the base from top to bottom, or do some supply runs for Optimus and the crew. Oh! We could even help Sunset train the new recruits!” She practically bounced on the spot with excitement.

“No, no, you don’t need to wash the base, I promise!” Wheeljack said. “Well, uh… if you want to help train the new recruits, I guess you can, but do be careful. But don’t hurt yourselves, okay?”

“We will!” The Shadowbolts all smiled and walked out together.

“Huh…” Wheeljack watched the girls walk off and examine the black tube by the machine. He took it out and slid the lid shut before carrying it to an energon safe, where he securely sealed it up. “Don’t know what I’m gonna do with that. Maybe a movie at Canterlot Backlot could use some goo for a horror movie sometime…”