To the Moooooooon!!

by Caffeinated Pinkie

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 1448

Trixie messes with the wrong Starlight. There's only one way to deal with this kind of behavior.

After a grave offense against Starlight, Trixie is looking at dire consequences for her actions. Trixie never should have used that spell on Starlight. She never should have used the spell at all! In fact, she probably shouldn't have ever learned it, or heard of it in the first place for that matter.

The only thing she can hope for is that Starlight will go easy on her after all, they are best friends right?

Sex tag is solely for innuendos.

Thumbnail Images:
Chibi Trixie by Emera33
Vector - Moon by MisterAibo

Published 2017-09-19 01:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-19 01:00:06 UTC

Trixie's Unexpected Vacation

“Any last words, Trixie?” Starlight asked with a vicious snarl. A pink unicorn with a purple and turquoise-streaked mane stood defiantly before her friend.

The unicorn she addressed struggled in Starlight’s strong magic. Her coat was a very light blue, a darker blue mane falling across her face. As per usual, a wizard hat and coat adorned her head and back respectively, though both were tattered. “No, please! I didn’t mean to!” She begged. Trixie flailed her limbs in the air, managing to force herself an inch closer to the door. “I can make this better! I’m sure there’s a counterspell!” Sweat dripped from her brow, eyes dashing back and forth.

Starlight’s coat and mane grew a shade dimmer as she funneled more magic into her spell. An unsaturated image of Trixie’s grinning face on her flank pulsed grey causing the telekinetic field to falter for a brief moment. Trixie took the opportunity and made a dash for the door. The books lining the shelves shook with each frantic hoofstep.

“I have no regrets!” She shouted behind her triumphantly. Unfortunately for her, the daring escape came to an abrupt end with a loud smack. The unicorn slid slowly down to the ground, her face hardly making a dent in the translucent blue dome around the palace.

Dazed and confused, Trixie lay still on the hard crystal floor. From the entrance entered another pony, an alicorn. She was a dark azure with a billowing mane, as deep and as dark as the night sky. Adorning her flank was a large splash of ink and the image of a crescent moon. Her exuberant, yet regal demeanor depicted her as a force to be reckoned with.

She raised her arm to point towards Starlight. “Aye! I have just arrived to thine abode to find thy mate escaping! Dost thou need some assistance?”

Starlight blushed a bright scarlet. Stuttering, she looked back and forth between Luna and Trixie. “U— uh she’s not my… mate. We’re just friends!”

Luna raised a skeptical eyebrow. “What about when thou scribed to me about wanting to ‘sit on Trixie’s sexy fa—’” Starlight lunged forward and stuck a hoof in Luna’s mouth, though the princess continued recounting questionable correspondences.

“Oh, yeah! That phrase totally doesn’t mean what you think it means!” The blue alicorn went quiet, turning her head inquisitively. Starlight’s eyes darted to the unconscious unicorn by the door. “It, uh, means…” Sweat flowed down her neck. “...it means that I want to learn magic with my best friend, Trixie!” She finished with a flourish of her unencumbered hoof, flashing her best smile.

Luna pulled her head back and smacked her lips. She looked behind herself in shame. “Oh, my. I would like to apologize to thee. Our dearest sister mislead us when I asked what thy phrasing meant.” In a quiet voice, “I should probably apologize to all those castle guards.”

Starlight suddenly grew more pale than pink. “Celestia knows about that?” She murmured in fear.

Luna turned around and stared at the fallen mare. “Now to business! Why dost thou summon me this fine day?” She prodded the pony’s rear as if trying to wake her.

The pink unicorn blinked. She pointed to her flank. She pointed to Trixie. She pointed to her horn. She faced Luna with a grimace.

Luna tapped her chin. “Are thou certain about thy definition of sitting on someone’s fa—”

“No! I mean, yes! But what I meant is I taught Trixie the spell to take away a pony’s cutie mark and replace it with something else, and then she replaced mine with, well…” She glanced at her cutie mark. The glimmer that normally accentuated her namesake was missing, with a smug looking Trixie in its place. If Starlight didn’t know any better, she would have sworn the mare’s face was smiling even more than earlier.

Starlight shook her head. “This is not what I had in mind when I asked Trixie if I could sit on her fa—”

“What was that?” Luna asked, interrupting her.

“Nothing!” She shouted hastily. Trixie stirred, awoken by Starlight’s shouting and Luna’s constant butt prodding.

“Oh, Starlight, you know you have to make me breakfast before you touch me th—” Her eyes snapped open as she realized the hoof touching her was significantly harder and more covered in metal than she was used to. The memories of what she did to Starlight and what the magical dome did to her came rushing back in the form of a splitting migraine. “Oh,” she whispered, cringing in pain.

The red in Starlight’s cheeks grew to a brilliance only Celestia’s sun could surpass as Luna lifted a hoof away from the terrified bundle of blue fur. The magician in question reached forward and tapped a hoof against the shield in front of her. A hollow echo reverberated through them, but nothing else occurred.

“Oh, how I’ve awaited this moment!” Luna cleared her throat and put on a grim expression. “How do you plead to your crimes against Equestria?”

Trixie whimpered.

“As I thought.” A giddy smile replaced the serious expression from moments before. “Any last words, Beatrix Lulamoon?”

“Can you call me Trixie?” She asked hesitantly. The firm look from Luna told her she wanted something better than that. She squirmed. “Help me, Starlight…”

Starlight’s face remained stony and cold. “I’m sorry, Trix, but the law has spoken.” She looked away in faux sadness. “To save you from your punishment would only be an abhorrent obstruction of justice.” She smiled sadly, looking back towards Trix.

With a somber nod, Luna lit up her long pointed horn, magical threads running up the curves ingrained within. The room began to glow, blue light flooding the house and leaking onto the streets beyond. As the luminescence reached its climax, Luna shouted over the deafening wind, “I hope you enjoy your stay… ON THE MOOOOON!!”

Trixie screamed as she blasted from the room, a window shattering onto the streets in her wake. As her shouting died out, the moon flashed a brilliant white. As the light dimmed, the moon’s surface revealed the image of an irritatingly smug mare judging all who gazed upon the celestial object.

Starlight walked out of the castle, keeping her gaze locked on the newly vandalized moon. “Celestia’s going to be mad isn’t she?”

Luna stood beside her. “Verily.”

—

Dear Luna,

I’m bored! Without Trixie here, I have no one to talk to who can relate to my dark and brooding past who is also a cute mare. How long until she returns from the moon? I previously requested no more than a five day absence, but after two weeks I’m starting to feel apprehensive.

So far, nobody has seemed to notice her absence. Even her wagon seems to be keeping itself organized! Not that I broke into it or anything!

As for me, my cutie mark has yet to return to its pristine, glimmer-like state. Despite discovering the basis for the original spell and modifying its effects for my own… regrettably evil purposes, I am still seemingly far from a counterspell of any sort. Only a few books in Twilight’s library mention any sort of cutie mark magic, and just one of them mentions a spell similar to my own.

Speaking of Twilight, she has been entirely unwilling to lend a hoof to my research, calling my reaction to Trixie’s spell “childish” and “rash”. I retorted that using extremely strong spells on a pony against their will as punishment is the only way they will learn of their wrongdoings. Unfortunately, Twilight finds this mentality to be extremely immoral and will be creating an entirely new friendship curriculum just for this isolated incident.

Terrified for her future,

Starlight Glimmer.

—

Dear Miss. Glimmer,

I regret to inform you that Luna is unable to take your correspondence at this time. She is, and will continue to be, grounded for the foreseeable future or until Miss. Lulamoon returns from her extended vacation out of state.

Unfortunately, the moon appears to be in use at the moment, but fear not, if you wish to deliver your message in person, I can easily accommodate another position in the castle dungeons for you as well. I’m sure Lulu would appreciate the company.

Wishing you the best of luck,

Princess Celestia.

Author's Note

Here is a stupid oneshot I made. I got inspiration for the premise primarily from Blank Slate's reaction to To Change a Changeling. Luna's character in this was inspired by Codex Ex Equus story Pony Courtship Rituals.

Thanks to ShadoWind for proofreading and martryboy for beating the crap out of my grammar.