Nails in the Coffin

How many bars had that been? Leon couldn't remember how many times he'd been thrown out of a drinking establishment, nor did he really care. He took another sip from his portable whiskey bottle, the chilling air seeming to more easily make its way to his skin from the outside as he became increasingly inebriated. This had been the norm for him for many years now. Ever since Racoon City, he couldn't escape the nightmares, usually having at least one a night. As the night grew later and darker, so too did Leon's drunkenness. He could feel the onset of a blackout coming on.

"Why can't this shit ever be over..."

That was all he could mutter before his vision faded, and he slipped into unconsciousness.

Leon's eyes slowly shifted open. There was a cool breeze blowing past, but it wasn't the bitter cold that he had become accustomed to. He could see a bright, cloudless sky. It was peaceful.

"Maybe I should just stay here for a while..."

Leon began to close his eyes again, letting the bright sky soothe his tortured mind.

"Who are you," a female voice said.

When Leon heard it, he quickly sat up, instinctively reacting in self-protection.

"I'm behind you."

The agent veered over his shoulder. He couldn't believe what he saw standing there.

"What the hell's going on!?"

"Hey, language! We don't use bad words here!"

Leon sighed.

"Before you start trying to control my speech patterns, how about you fill me in?"

"Fine, rude thing."

"The name's Leon, alright?"

"Well, Leon, what are you?"

"You mean to tell me you've never seen a human being before?"

"Ohhhhh boy..."

"What's with that tone?"

"Nothing. There's just a pony here who always claims humans exist. She'd probably be pointing at me and saying she told us so right now."

"Either somebody spiked my drink or I've gone insane."

"Drink? Are you an alcoholic?"

"What? You're gonna' tell me they have booze here too?"

"What's booze?"

"Never mind."

"We have hard cider. It's pretty potent."

"Great," Leon replied sarcastically.

After a minute, he stood up and dusted himself off.

"Listen, I have no idea what this place is or why I'm here. Could you humor me for a minute."

"My name is Twilight Sparkle. This is Ponyville. It's a small village located on one of the northwestern continents."

"That's good enough for a description. So this place is a world for ponies. I got that right so far?"

"Basically. There are other species here too, like griffons, dragons, and the like."

"Aside from the fact I'm having trouble processing this, I'm gettin' kind of hungry. You at least got any vegetables to eat?"

"Sure. I was on my way home anyway. If you come with with me, you can eat to your heart's content."

"I guess it's no steak, but it'll do."

"What's steak?"

"It's a human food. We eat some of the animals on our planet."

"Ew!"

"Yeah. I figured you'd say that."

"You can have the vegetables, but try to eat me and you'll be in for a beating."

"Sheesh. Chill out. I don't think I'd wanna' eat you anyway."

"Good answer."

Twilight headed for her home, Leon following behind her.

"How did these things even learn English anyway?"

"So, what do you do where you're from?"

"I'm an agent for the United States government."

"An agent. Hmm..."

"Don't try too hard. My work is classified."

"I'm not trying to understand your work. I want to know why you're here."

"Considering I was drinking before this happened, it's probably all a dream."

"That's not the case. I know because I'm talking to you."

"I take it you don't study dreams. Even if it's all in my head, it's possible for the subconscious to create intelligent conversation with the dreamer."

"Really? That's weird. I know I'm here, so if it's a dream, how am I aware of myself?"

"It's all par for the course."

"I guess we'll see."

Leon's expression became stone-faced. Despite his knowledge in dreams, the conversation was making him uncomfortable.

"Well, this is my home."

"Not too shabby for a tree."

"I guess you can be nice, too."

"I'll be right back. My assistant is upstairs."

"Right."

While Twilight went to get Spike, Leon took off his jacket. He noticed a couple solid objects in its pockets.

"My weapons. Is this really a dream?"

Twilight returned a few minutes later.

"This is Spike. He's a dragon."

"H-Hi," Spike said nervously. The intense agent somewhat frightened him.

"Hey, little man."

"Anyway, let's get some lunch," Twilight chimed in.

Leon nodded, and she led them to the kitchen.

"Feel free to make whatever you want."

"Thanks."

Leon collected a few vegetables and pieces of fruit. He pulled his knife out and began to chop them.

"So I was right," Twilight said, "Your job is just as dangerous as the ones our agents get."

"I knew you'd figure that much out."

"I don't think it'd be a good idea to flash that thing around. Some ponies might think you're dangerous."

"Guess it's a good thing I don't like being flashy to begin with."

"Probably not a bad thing."

Leon finished preparing his food and sat down at the kitchen table. Spike stared at him.

"What's up," Leon asked the young dragon.

Spike quickly looked away.

"I think he was admiring your muscles. Even Bulk Biceps doesn't look as strong as you."

"He should see my friend Chris. He's been called a superhuman more than once."

"Do you have superhumans where you're from?"

"Our planet is called Earth, and no, but Chris is pretty close."

"This world is called Equestria."

"Not surprising."

"You know, since you're an agent, you should meet our princesses.

"A peaceful monarchy. Can't remember the last time I read about one of those in the history books."

"That's how it's always been here."

"Interesting."

"Anyway, you should probably finish eating. I don't know how long you'll be here, so we should probably show you around."

"Not a bad idea."

Leon downed his food fairly quickly, placed the knife back in his coat pocket, and put the strip of clothing back on. Twilight and Spike finished soon after.

"Let's go before it gets dark," Twilight urged.

"Roger."