The Lightning Bringer

by David Silver

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other
Length: 112448

Ian has entered the land of ponies. He has information that he would use to advance their civilization, but he can't do it without the support of the leaders there. That'll be easy, right?

Ian strode confidently through the land of colorful ponies. They were a primitive people, but he would fix that. He knew more than their most amazing scientists. All that stood between him and his goals was to convince the leader of the ponies that he had what she wanted.

How hard would that be?

This takes place shortly after Luna's banishment.

Published 2017-09-21 17:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-19 14:47:33 UTC

2 - Entertain Me

First advantage of being in the castle, baths, and laundry. Two, two advantages then. I was taking advantage of both. I hadn't meant to do the second right away, but they left little choice in the matter. They pointed me to the baths eagerly on request, and the moment I stripped free of my clothes, a maid hurried over to grab them with her magic.

I managed to get a grip on them just before they got out of reach. "There are some delicate things in there, let me take them out." She frowned but waited long enough for me to strip the clothes of electronics and tools I didn't want being washed. I was fairly certain my phone didn't want or need a bath.

"Magicians and their toys." She trotted off with her load of soiled clothes.

I was naked in a pony castle. There were worse places to be, I supposed. The water was warm, the soap made bubbles in the water. I was ready to be clean. Sinking into the heat, I let out a happy sigh. Tension I was barely aware of faded as I sank to a bench beneath the surface of the bathwater.

A unicorn poked her head into the room. "Would you like assistance in bathing?" She dipped her head at me. "We are ready to serve."

I wasn't a noble. Did they treat anyone that happened to be there the same? That was magnanimous on their part. "I can clean myself," I said in a good natured way, raising a hand free to wave at her.

She peered at the digits. "Are you a minotaur? Even they can't reach all of their back." She took a hesitant step forward. "It's no trouble at all."

I had a feeling she was trying to be helpful, and wanted a peek at the curious creature in her domain. I would have peace if I either shooed her away forcefully, which might hurt feelings, or just let her do her job. I waved her forward. "Alright, go ahead and get back there if you want to." She smiled radiantly and approached. She really did want that, it was obvious. I tried to ignore her and get to washing the rest of me with a bar of soap that they had left beside the tub.

She gasped softly on reaching the edge of the tub. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but she bit back whatever words wanted to be free. "I'll take care of you," she settled on, sinking beside the tub. Her magic grabbed a bathing sponge and soon had a dollop of liquid soap on it before she began scrubbing my back dutifully.

I normally didn't think much of my back, but there was obviously dirt back there, with the water going darker with her vigorous rubbing. She worked up to my neck and down to my posterior before the loofa-like tool she was using began to trap out to my front. If I didn't stop her, she would clean everything. She was doing a good job though.

Oh well, when in France, as they said. I relaxed against the side of the tub and let her cleaning touch wander over me, only objecting when she hit a sensitive spot.

She burst into giggles. "Stallions, all the same." She moved on past it without argument. "You can handle that on your own as you please." She drew the spikey sponge free and put it in a small bowl before grabbing another to finish the job. "Did you come a long way? You're caked with half the dirt in Equestria."

"I came from further than that." I didn't feel like getting into the full measure of how far I had come to reach the castle. "How about you, born in Canterlot?"

"Oh, yes sir." She smiled gently. "I've never been beyond its walls. I like it here, if you ask me." She rose to her hooves. "Would you like some perfume? You're clean enough to see Her, but she prefers a nice floral scent." She leaned in a little. "I know her favorite."

I had planned to just soak a bit longer, but that sounded like a useful offer. "I think I'll take you up on that." I turned around and pulled myself up and out of the tub.

Her magic suddenly surrounded me. Unicorn magic felt odd on naked skin. It was like countless tiny nubs were pressing against me from all directions. They ran in unison, drawing the water right off of me faster than a towel could ever have managed. "All dry," she sang out. "Now you wait here, I'll get the scents." She turned away and cantered off quickly. She was back in no time at all with a large green vial with a stopper on the top.

She popped the stopper free in her magic and brought the vial closer. There was no spritzer. It was just fluid and she would rub it on me. Such was the technology of the time. It did smell nice, though I couldn't identify what flower(s) it contained. She upturned it slightly and started splashing me with the scent, working it into my skin with a little smile. "I must say the only other time I had bare flesh to work with was the one time a dragon stopped by. It must be nice." She let out a wistful sigh. "All that smooth skin, so pretty and easier to wash and scent!"

Was I being admired by a reverse furry? That was amusing. "Sorry to interrupt, but do you know when I see the princess?"

That got her attention. "Oh! I can find out. You return to your room and I'll meet you there." She topped her perfume bottle and trotted off on her new task.

I was clean, scented, and still naked. I grabbed a fluffy towel to have a minimum amount of decency. Where had that laundry-maid run off to? I peeked out into the hallway and saw mostly other servants and other guards. I waved down a guard, hoping they would know where other people were. "Do you know where laundry's done? They have my clothes."

The guard perked an ear at being addressed. "Oh? One moment." He trotted past without a pause.

The interior of the castle had, so far, been run pretty well. I decided to have a little faith that he was on it. I heard clopping coming. Was that her, or him?

It was neither. The largest of them all stepped into the bathroom only to stop at the sight of me. Princess Celestia tilted her head just so faintly. "My apologies. I had not realized this room was in use."

I pressed off the wall I was against. "No no! Please, come in. I already took my bath."

She gave a wry smile. "And now you would watch me partake of mine? You do not appear to be one of the bath maids, mister...?"

"Langerman, Ian Langerman." I bowed, one hand at my waistland to keep the towel from doing anything I didn't want it to. "I've been hoping to speak to you."

She strode past me. "I'm afraid I'm only of the mind for my bath, Mister Langerman. Unless you are willing to fill in for the missing maid, there's little for you here."

There was a taunting tone to that voice. She was waiting for me to embarrassedly excuse myself, or maybe she thought I was self-important enough to be offended at the suggestion. That would also remove me from her sight. I would not indulge her. I stepped back towards the tub with a smile. "As it turns, I've learned a thing or two about proper pony massage." As in, they liked ear scratches. "If you will allow me, I would be delighted to assist you, Celestia."

She turned her head towards me. "We are not yet that familiar, Mister Langerman." She raised a hoof and presented it to me. "I can't get in like this."

It took a moment for it to click. She wanted me to take off her clothing, starting with her horseshoes. Well, who was I to keep a lady waiting, two legs or four? I dropped to a knee and took her horsehoe in my hands. I found a catch near the back and with it worked, the shoe popped free, allowing her hoof into the air. Note, shoed hooves could get a bit of a stink to them that didn't become the monarch's otherwise regal appearance. I tried to put that aside as she switched which hoof was being presented and I worked off the second one. She was here to get clean, it was no time to fault her for stinking.

I circled around her as she extended a hoof backwards, like a half buck caught in time. I quickly had her rear shoes off and put to the side. "Do you want to keep your jewelry on?" I didn't want to presume to go grabbing for her crown or that massive necklace she wore.

She pointed with a forehoof at an ornate box. "Set them both in there and close the lid. See the box beneath it? The shoes go in there. They will be clean by the time I am."

That was simple enough. I soon had her jewels and shoes stored safely. When I closed each lid, it began to glow yellows and blues. Magic? Cleaning magic, I guessed.

While I was working on that, Celestia stepped down into the tub. Her bulk forced the water up, some of it overspilling with the mass of her before she was comfortably settled, her long neck poking free ot the water. She was watching me. "Tell me, Mister Langerman, what is it you were hoping to speak of? Are you a diplomat of your people? I've never seen one quite like you before."

That was a trap. If I neglected my washing duties, she could send me away without a single answer. I grabbed a bathing sponge from the bowl the unicorn maid had taken from to clean me and got some soap in it. Monkey see, monkey do, as the saying went, and I went in to get at her back. I was soon crouching beside the tub, her long back before me.

With her eyes on me, I reached out to begin scrubbing through the soft off-white fur of her back.

"That looks uncomfortable." I glanced up at her words. "You're stretching. I presume you don't have magic to reach further. Why don't you come closer? I do not bite." As if the emphasize the point, she revealed her white equine teeth at me. "I am certain you will not display anything I have not seen before, Mister Langerman."

She said that, but there was no reason for me to take off my towel. I slid into the tub, more water splashing free. The towel floated a moment before it began to become water logged and sank back to cover my secrets. I was sharing the bath with Celestia. That was one way to get close to her. I got to working my hand and the sponge across her vast back and sides. I could feel her flesh fluttering whenever I hit a sensitive point, but I was doing what I set to do, cleaning her. "I am a human, Princess Celestia. Homo Sapiens, as called by our own scholars, but that is a name born of a species that is alone on its world."

"Pony Latin?" She had her eyes on me, but she felt relaxed, willing to allow me to continue bathing her. "Wise man? A very presumptuous name to give an entire species. Are you all given to thoughtful consideration?"

Oh boy, as if... "I'm hoping to live up to that name. I have a gift for you, for all of Equestria." I ran the soap down over her cutie mark, cleaning the sun that graced her rump. She tensed. Were cutie marks sensitive places? It needed to be cleaned as anywhere else, so I continued. "Tell me, what is the most pressing problem that ponykind faces?" I could think of a thousand things they could use, but what she prioritized felt the smarter way to go.

Author's Note

Praise that sun, Ian! Praise it as if your life depended on it, which it might.

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3 - Lay of the Land

Celestia peered over her shoulder at me. "You are far from the first person to come, claiming they can make my problems vanish. It is rarely so easy." She adjusted her large frame against me. "Be sure to get my tail, it draws an unfortunate amount of dirt."

Tail? Right. That voluminous mass waved and undulated beneath the surface of the water. I reached for it and began combing my fingers along it. The fur was soft and felt like it was actively moving regardless of the currents we made in the water. "There's no harm in telling me. We can start with something that is common knowledge to your people."

"Common knowledge? Very well. Ponies who, mmm." She paused a moment, her tail brushing against me. Was she enjoying my attentions? "Ponies who live rurally suffer from predation and are isolated from assistance, martial, economic, or otherwise. Ponies who live in urban centers are safer there, but will grow sick with alarming frequency." She pulled away, turning to face me. "They say cities are for weak cowards, and it shows in their bodies. Can you address that?"

I considered that even as I tossed out the soiled loofa I had been using and grabbed for the next. "There can be a few things that contribute to that. Let's start with water."

Her ears went up. "Water? We have water. We are not so daft as to not secure a supply for our people."

I raised a finger before moving the loofa towards her exposed front. Unlike a human female, she had nothing untoward on her chest, just powerful pony flesh that I began to scrub diligently. "Quality, not quantity. Impure water can cause more problems in the long run than being short in supply. The water must be clean, not even just to sight. Germs can kill."

Celestia looked down on me as I cleaned her front. "That is not a word I am familiar with, not in that use. Germ? Are you implying small shreds of beings are growing inside my ponies?"

I hadn't considered that definition, but it worked. "Pretty much that, and it makes them sick."

Celestia frowned at the thought. "I would think fragments of starfish and the like would be visible? And not weather the journey through the pony's interior." She raised a hoof. "And why does it seem to affect the wealthy less?"

I worked up and down, making her fur bunch up before I let up and worked down towards her belly. "Tell me, what do you drink, more often than not?"

"I am partial to a few varieties of tea. Perhaps some brewed beans for an energy boost." She hiked a brow. "How does that help?"

I worked diligently as I spoke. My presence would only be tolerated so long as I continued being a good washer, I felt certain. "Both of those boil the water, which kills the germs in the water. Alcohol has the same effect, so people who live off alcohol won't suffer from this, but will have plenty of other problems."

She sat up, water sloshing from the movement of her great form. "So a pony who drinks from a fountain is in greater peril? What would you then suggest, to have them dispense scalding hot water? That is hardly reasonable."

Visions of a pony dipping their snout, only to wrench it back with an alarmed yelp danced through my mind. "No, that wouldn't be reasonable at all." I worked down to her hind legs and lowest belly. Though concealed by fur, she did have all the parts needed to support a foal, if ever she had one. Had she? I couldn't say with certainty either way. Her inner legs were just as sensitive. She twitched silently as I worked the area. "The first step is making sure filth doesn't get between the source of the water and the end point. No matter how clear and lovely a pond or reservoir may be, it can arrive infested and deadly. This comes to an expensive, but required--"

She placed a hoof on my face with remarkable speed. "And now we arrive at the portion where you are paid to whisk this problem away?"

Her hoof smelled much nicer than when I was first exposed to it. I could detect the scented soap it had been soaking in, and perhaps a hint of her personal scent. I kissed the bottom of it before drawing back. "It will require money, but not to me. I'm talking about money towards actually getting things done."

Her golden magic grasped my loofa and tossed it aside, wrenching it from my grasp. "I would hear what you propose."

Bath time was over. Shame, I was starting to enjoy the act of cleaning her. "Sanitation. It can make a world of difference."

She arched a brow. "How will my ponies cleaning habits make a large difference?"

"Not personal sanitation, larger." I leaned back in the bubbly bath as I spread my hands. "I had to walk through piles of filth to get to the castle. The castle itself seemed clean, but your city is very dirty. That dirt encourages those germs I was talking about. If they get into the water, then you get sick people. Even if they don't, the germs can sometimes get through the air and other means. Your people must be clean to be healthy."

Celestia rose, the level of water in the tub sinking rapidly. "And how would you recommend this be treated? So many ponies creates a great deal of 'filth', as you put it." She rose a hoof to point at me. "Having magicians banish it all would be impractical."

I hadn't even thought of that angle, though it wasn't an entirely invalid one... "The first step is removing the filth from the people. You need sewers."

"What?" She looked confused at the notion, water cascading down her form as she regarded me with intense interest. "What is that?"

"A network of pipes, separate from any clean water pipes, where filth can be flushed away. Solid filth should be placed in solid containers and collected to be removed. This will require money." I pressed pointer and thumb together, rubbing gently. "Not to me, but none of this is a simple matter. Trash removal for solids, the pipes for liquid and near-liquid waste. You get these going and your people will be healthier. The pipes will need regul--"

"Enough." She pulled herself from the tub entirely, water raining down on the tiles in a constant flow. "How do you know this? What are you, precisely?"

I didn't answer her, not right away. I climbed up and out of the tub and quickly realized my towel did not make the trip with me. It was soaked through and remained a miserable portion of the tub. "I am a traveler." I put a hand to my chest. "From a great civilization. We've faced these problems, suffered for their lack. I don't want any plagues--" She flinched at the mention. Had the ponies already suffered great diseases? ". Sorry, if you've already experienced that. There are other things you need to ward them away, but this is a start."

She shook. Her entire body rocked left and right in great rotations that sent water spraying in all directions like a dog drying itself, or a horse in that case. She was rapidly drier, and the room damper. "And why do you feel the need to share this with us, for no compensation? Such generosity is rare."

I went for the towels and grabbed one that had been spared from Celestia splashing. "I never said I don't want any money, just not enough to consider it even a remote impediment versus the cost of actually doing things. I need to live, and I'd like to work on improving other things."

"Why?" She was leaning in over my shoulder from behind. "What do you gain from this?"

I glanced aside at her before donning the towel properly. "I like tinkering with things. If I can help a lot of people while I do it, then all the better. If it makes you feel better, consider this a selfish challenge to myself. I've read about my ancestor's struggles with these things and thought, 'I could have done better', and here is my chance to prove it."

Some of the tension in her seemed to ease. The selfish reasoning seemed an easier pill to swallow. "So we are a challenge to you. We are a mountain, and you are eager to get climbing, just to say that you have done so, and perhaps to enjoy the view from the top." She sank to her haunches and held out a hoof. "The shoes should be clean."

I was a maid again? Where had they gone? As if summoned by my thought, the maid that had washed me returned. Her eyes went wide just as she slipped through the door. "P-P-Princess! I'm so sorry!" She dashed forward, her magic pulling open the shoe cleaning box and plucking one free. "Please forgive me, I was serving him and--"

Celestia smiled gently. "You are a good pony, Water Lily."

Water shrank back. "But..."

"Since you are ready." She turned the hoof to face Water Lily. "Go ahead. I was just speaking to Mister Langerman. It has been... an interesting conversation."

She started working each shoe on as a hoof was offered. "He is an interesting thing." She smiled at me suddenly but didn't say anything to me. "I hope he has not disrupted your bath?"

"Certainly not." Celestia quirked a smile. "He was quite thorough in his washing. If what he proposes does not work out, perhaps we will keep him on as a bather. He has talent."

She deepened red in her cheeks. "B-better than... me, Princess?"

"He will not replace you, Water." Celestia strode past her and kissed her right behind her horn on the way. "Mister Langerman, I will call for you when I am ready. For now, I have a kingdom to run. Water, my jewels, kindly."

Water had the mighty torc and fine crown out and adorning Celestia, fussing over having them just right. "Here you are, half as radiant as the pony that wears them." She dipped her front down low, bending a knee. "Thank you, Princess."

Celestia looked to me instead of her. "See that he is dressed properly. I feel certain his clothing is as important to him as mine are to me. Thank you, Water Lily. I will see you come the evening."

Even as Celestia departed, Water Lily came closer. "By Destiny itself, it seems you don't need my help to make a good impression on Princess Celestia." Her horn glowed as my clothing came into view, floating towards us. "Let's get you dressed. No wonder you need them, you are far more exposed than a pony ever would be."

I tried not to blush, I did. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

She hiked a brow. "In principle, but you dangle more than they do." Her eyes fell from mine to my chest. "You... also have... teats? Is that normal of a male of your kind, sir? Please pardon me if that is unseemly to speak of." She dipped much as she had to Celestia. "I am new to your breed."

I could have brushed her off. She was a professional. If I told her it was impolite to ask, she simply never would. On the other hand, she seemed like a contact, a good one. She had Princess Celestia's ear, and she knew the castle. I wanted her on good terms. "It can be a bit personal to ask about those things." I saw her tense, as expected. "But you are just being curious, and I feel like we're growing familiar."

She blushed in her cheeks. "O-oh. It's a pleasure, Mister Langerman."

"Ian," I corrected, reaching to pat her, her horn going between my fingers.

She looked delighted to be on a first name basis. I had made a friend.

Author's Note

The story marches forward with a sudden lesson in sanitation. Who knew fanfic could be educational?!

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4 - Troubling Breeze

As I stepped back into my assigned room, I heard rapidly-approaching hooves striking the ground. "You cheater!" It was Easy Breeze, looking incensed with a twitch just over her left eye. Her ears were folded low and back and a low growl shook her. "You got to her in front of me, and it wasn't even your turn!"

I put up my hands wardingly. "Easy there, we bumped into each other."

"In the bath of all places? It doesn't matter. You took it." She suddenly half-turned away. "They're kicking me out, don't want entertainers anymore."

Was the rumor network of the castle that fast? "Surely a mare of your talents will find other opportunities." I regretted my choice of words quickly.

"This was my big opportunity, you hairless freak! You've taken it away, without even trying. Do you think that makes it better? Do you!" She was facing me again, stomping her right forehoof. "I was ready to bedazzle her. I was playing by the rules!"

A thought came to me. "Were you serious?"

Her expression faltered a little. "About this? Of course I was."

"No, when we first met, you said you'd hire me when you won."

Her anger returned. "You're ready to rub that in my face then? You didn--"

I put a finger to her nose. It was like a pause button with ponies, even if temporary. "It's only fair if it goes both ways. Do you have any talents outside of entertainment?"

She crashed back onto her haunches. "I was..." I could see her swallowing the words. "I mean... I am a mare of many talents." Her confidence began to return. I could see it in how she stood up and her ears lifted. She was being bold instead of angry. "It depends on what you need."

"I am going to need eyes and hooves." I rolled a hand as I walked past her towards the window. "If Princess Celestia accepts my ideas, which seems likely, enacting them will be no simple matter. I will need orders given and supervising faces in more than one place at a time. In short..."

"You need an assistant," finished Easy Breeze with a smile. "A partner."

"Let's not jump to that title." I didn't know her quite that well yet. "But an assistant, for sure. What do you know of piping and construction?"

She blinked at me. "My father sent you, didn't he? This is more subtle than I would normally credit him with."

I, of course, didn't know of her father, but I started guessing. "Are you from a family of plumbers?"

She pointed a hoof at me. "Got it in one. Father wanted me to settle down and take up the family trade." She reached back and pulled up the hem of her skirt, allowing me to see her cutie mark. It showed a glittering top hat. "This is not a plumbing cutie mark. I was meant for more than that! And here I was, ready to seize that destiny."

Pony cutie marks were open to interpretation. Though they got it when they were 'close enough', better matches sometimes could be found with a bit of thought on the matter. "While that does look like a magician's hat, for one, you're not even wearing a matching one."

She glanced up in the direction of her conical hat. "I couldn't afford one..."

"For two, it could also be a mark of leadership. Serious ponies wear similar hats."

She blinked softly. "Well... Wait." She put a hoof to her chest. "While I like the idea of bossing other ponies around, that isn't what I've been practicing."

"Time to start." I crossed my arms, tapping my right foot. "Are you taking the position or not?" I had succeeded in my task. Her anger was entirely deflated in favor of considering this new possibility. "It will be a paying position."

Oh how her ears danced. "Well... I don't want to just go home in a sulk." She arched a brow at me, crossing her own hooves as if to imitate me. "How much are we talking?"

How much were supervising ponies typically paid? To hell if I knew. "We'll be hiring a lot of ponies, likely. We'll go over the fine details when we move forward. For now, you get to be an assistant, which keeps you in the castle."

"In the castle..." She suddenly nodded firmly. "Right. You have a deal." She thrust a hoof forward. "But you'd better be on the level. I didn't forget you like to cheat if you get a chance."

I balled my right hand into a fist and bumped it against her hoof and she moved up and down, forcing me to keep up to complete the pony equivalent of a shake. "It's a deal, but I'll need you to keep an eye on the other ponies involved, not me."

"Until there are other ponies, I'll start by watching you." She wrinkled her nose. "Consider it job practice." She hopped up onto the top bunk she had claimed. "What's first on your schedule?"

I had a schedule? "I planned to wait for Princess Celestia's reaction and order to proceed."

She wobbled a hoof in the air. "About that, what amazing idea did you throw at her?"

"Would you believe it is, essentially, plumbing?"

Her jaw hung open a little and she gave the most peculiar stare a moment. "Destiny... works in strange ways. Oh, hey! If you're doing a big plumbing job, we can hire my father, right? He's a good pony, great at it."

Nepotism never changed. I was facing back out the window, looking at the gardeners working to keep the palace lawn in meticulous order. "I can add him to the list of ponies to be considered for the jobs, but if I said I'd hire him without question, that would make me a poor manager."

She snorted indignantly behind me. "We can check out the rest, but you'll hire the best. He may be a pain in my rump at times, but he knows his pipes. What is it you're trying to do, install new water fountains? He's done those before."

"Bigger."

"An artificial waterfall? I didn't figure Celestia would drop everything for that."

Those sorts of things, outside of irrigation, were likely the tasks a plumber was faced with, I decided. "City-wide. We're going to take out the trash."

I could feel her staring at me. "Pipes are not good at that," she finally said, breaking the awkward moment.

"Not all trash." Did I have to explain it again? I'd likely have to explain it many times. I turned back to her and claimed a seat on a wide stool made for a pony perched on their haunches. "Let's start with the basics. When you..." What was the polite pony term for going to the bathroom, when they didn't have bathrooms of the sort I was thinking of, yet? "When your outhouse is full, what do you do?"

Her face screwed up with disgust. "Move the outhouse and make a new hole, of course. Yuck, what a distasteful topic."

"It only gets worse. I'm going to assume you're not from the city itself." Her ears fell and she glanced away. "Not an accusation, but imagine what a city pony has to do, since there isn't enough ground to move the outhouse around."

"I presume that explains the stench." Her eyes narrowed a little. "So what's your big idea?"

"Let ponies relieve themselves into the pipes directly, where it will be flushed away from the city, and our noses." I moved my fingers to trace the passage of the waste.

Easy blinked softly. "I am not going to sit on a pipe, and I doubt others will want to either."

"You won't." I stood up and paced the room. "You'll sit on a nice chair. The interior of that will lead to the pipe. Do your business in comfort, and enjoy a touch of cleanliness."

"If Celestia likes the idea." She shook her head slowly. "Enough of discussing how best to take care of nature's call. You are not going to sit there and wait for Celestia."

That sounded like an order. "As opposed to?"

"We are going to assume she wants to go ahead." She stood up on her bed. "We should get to work, deciding what we need to get done, considering who will need to be hired, all of that. By the time she gives the go ahead, we should be ready to do that, immediately. You'll impress her."

Perhaps I had picked the right pony. "Alright, Easy. Let's do that. Do you have something to write with?"

A quill and a sheet of parchment hovered beside her, drawn from that unknown space that ponies favored. "You hired the best," she sang in reminder as she hopped down to the floor. "Just give me a moment to prepare." She drew out a sheet of cloth that had little straps and attached it to her snout, covering her nose entirely. "There we are."

"What is that?" It looked like an equine surgical mask.

"Keeps the worst of the smells out. It's scented." She shook her head. "Doesn't stop all of it, but I'll take what I can get." She trotted ahead. "Let's get to it." Her horn glowed as she opened the door, to find a maid waiting there. "Hello?"

It was Water Lily. She smiled at Easy Breeze nervously. "I was sent to help see you from the castle, miss?"

I stepped up quickly. "That won't be needed."

Water tilted her head. "But she's been dismissed, sir."

"She is in my direct employ," I explained, reaching to put a hand on Easy's tense back. "In fact, we're just going out to start the preliminary work for the princess. Easy will be staying with me, for her benefit."

"I will have to inform my superiors," Water said, her eyes falling. "Proprieties, sir."

"Of course." I moved past Easy to gt to right in front of Water. "You're doing your job, and doing it well. Just tell them she's working for Celestia through me, and we plan to make her happy."

Water perked up a little. "Of course, sir. O-oh! I was to tell you this is to be your chamber for now." She indicated the room we were leaving. "I-if you wish to share it with Miss Breeze, I suppose that is your discretion, sir." There was a faint coloring to her cheeks. She was assuming.

"Easy will be operating as my assistant, but we have no romantic involvement," I said, trying to make that clear.

Easy snorted like the angry horse she was. "Me? With him?! He's not a pony. Whatever he is, he's naked and ugly. How would--" She seemed to catch herself. "I mean... no... offense boss?" She smiled so sheepishly. "Still, not interested."

That was artless, but served the purpose. "As you can see."

"Her loss," sighed out Water before she froze, realizing what she had said. "I'll clean while you're gone!" She said in a squeak, rushing into the room and slamming the door shut behind herself.

Easy smirked in the direction of the fled maid. "She has it bad for you. Strange mare. Let's go."

I glanced back at the closed door before moving to match Easy's pace as we wove our way through the castle. We had a city to survey, and I was looking forward to starting on what would hopefully be the first of many great projects to lift the primitive country of Equestria to grandness.

"Say, this idea of yours." Easy was looking over her shoulder at me. "Did you come up with it, or dig it out of a book?"

"The latter is more truthful."

"Minotaurs?" She hiked a brow. "I hear they have something kind of like what you described, but good luck getting close enough to find out."

Was Equestria behind some of its neighbors?

I would have to do something about that.

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5 - Hitting the Town

We emerged from the halls of the castle. The guards nodded as we passed, not impeding our progress. "Easy, for sake of argument, how close is your father?"

"Like how close am I to him?" She shrugged as she stepped down the broad platforms. "I ran away from the family business, but he took it alright."

Interesting, but... "Not what I meant. Physically?"

"A week's hike, give or take." She shook her head. "We should only call for him if we have a job, for sure."

That was a shame. I would have liked to chat with a pony that had any idea what I was doing, which he might, or might not. "Alright, we'll have to find someone closer then."

We walked along the well-paved path towards the exit, the soft and groomed grass on either side a pleasant thing to behold, at least until we reached the end. It was a sudden transition to the rest of the city, with trash and broken things coming into sight the moment the walls of the castle ground were behind us. It wasn't an immediate junk heap, but the difference was quite instant.

Easy Breeze shook her head. "If you're getting the princess to listen to you, why not start with the obvious stuff?"

"Mm?" There were so many angles to approach. "She said her number one priority is illness in city ponies."

"Not sure how this'll help with that, but why not clean up?" She waved a hoof as we went, indicating each bit of debris as we went as it grew thicker the farther we walked. "Back home, we didn't have trash piles like this, especially not where ponies walk."

I imagined the little town she likely came from. They probably buried their refuse, and had plenty of ground to do so in. Maybe they even had a dump for everyone to make use of. For that matter, why didn't Canterlot have a dump? "Tell me, what did ponies 'back home' do with their trash?"

Easy hiked a brow like that was a silly question. "The mayor'd tan yer hide for everyone to see if the front of your house wasn't fit for walking past, to start." She chuckled as if remembering watching such an action of law. "Everyone did their part if they didn't want fines, or worse."

I looked at the mess that made up Canterlot. Celestia had to know what other towns were doing. Why hadn't it made its way to Canterlot? "Was there a dump?"

"What's that?"

"A single place people put their trash?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that." She shrugged softly. "I mean, we usually just took it out of the town. The river was good for a lot of it."

Ah. That was less idyllic. There were a lot of things to fix. If I let myself get distracted, I could spend forever bouncing between projects, all equally important, and all not being done. "Let's focus on the sewers first. We get that done, we can tackle garbage disposal."

"Out of the way," came a sudden new voice. A large mare was pulling a cart down the street in our direction. "Unless you're dead, I have no use for you." Her dull-green eyes were fixed on us in irritation. That cart she was hauling had something I had not hoped to see. She was moving the still forms of less fortunate ponies.

I moved hastily to the left side of the road as Easy jumped to the right, opening the way for her to stomp past. As soon as she passed, I met Easy back in the road. "One bit of sanitation seems to be working."

East frowned at that. "Great. Pardon me if I don't get too happy about that." The mask she wore fluttered with a snort and she proceeded. "Now what are we looking for, exactly?"

"The first step, I imagine, is a lay of the grade of the land." I tapped at the street as we went with a foot. "The city is carved out of the mountain, so I imagine they tried to make it flat, but we should make sure it actually is. We also need to know how thick the platform we're on is, and if putting a sewer system in is going to cause issues with it."

"And we start doing that how?" She had an ear directed at me as we hiked.

Step one, cheat. I dug out my phone and had it awake quickly. 100% read the battery. I still wasn't sure how that worked exactly. One theory I had broke down to magic. Yes, magic was a weak excuse, but it did seem to be a 'thing' in that world, and maybe the phone liked it? I didn't argue the good fortune. I pulled up the app I had downloaded some time ago on a lark that was about to be useful.

"What are you doing?" asked Easy, looking up at the phone curiously. "What is that? It's a strange-looking thing. Magic?"

There was that word again. "Basically." I wasn't going to try to explain what a phone was. I swiveled the phone left and right slowly and a bubble on the screen moved to always point upwards. "It will tell us if something is flat, or in what direction it's slanted."

She pointed at the ground with a hoof. "Well, go ahead then."

It was as fine a spot as any to check. I crouched down and put my phone on a lonely clean brick. There was an incline, but it was a tiny one. The ponies had constructed well. "We'll need more readings to be accurate, and what's true in one place might not be in another. Record this though."

She loyally jotted down the incline and position and we began roaming the city, taking measurements as we went.

A male voice whispered harshly as we walked, "What in the sun are you doing?" We turned to see a lanky unicorn stallion in a vest and pants peering at us from an alleyway. "You working for Sombra, mayhap? Luna sympathizers?"

Easy looked ready to just keep walking and ignore the stallion outright. I put a hand on her back to slow her. "Neither of those things. We're on assignment for Princess Celestia."

His eyes narrowed. "Find that hard to believe."

"Why is that?"

He waved a hoof around. "It isn't obvious? She's so busy taking care of the world, she's forgotten to give a hoot about what's going on right underhoof."

Easy took a step back, tossing her head in a signal to continue, but I wanted to hear what the stallion was talking about. "Yeah? Are things that dire?"

The stallion took a step forward. "You don't know? Guess you wouldn't, if you think the bit stops at her."

It didn't? "Where does it?"

He put out a hoof turned upwards. "You reached the end of my generosity."

Easy Breeze returned to my side just to bump against me. "Ignore him. We have plenty of work left to do."

"Hold on a moment." I crouched down to be even with the stallion. "Do you want this to get better?"

The Stallion turned his head, eyeing me with one eye directly. "Sure, I guess. I live here. That doesn't feed me, and nopony has been rushing to do that." He turned his outheld hoof to face the flat end towards me instead of upwards. "So, what's your name, good sir?"

"Ian Langerman," I easily replied as I reached out and held his hoof. He shook it up and down, not seeming too disarmed by the motion. "Nice to meet you."

"Same, but it won't be if you keep going that way." He drew his hoof back just far enough to swing it down the road we had been going down. "The city has turfs, and that is far from a good one."

That got Easy's attention. "There a wild herd here?" Her eyes darted wildly. "Are they dangerous?"

I pointed to the stallion. "Beside you answer that, a name is usually a trade."

"Too right." His ears went to the sides. "Apologies. I'm Work Pants. So, are you really with the princess?" He looked towards the nervous Easy. "And your name, miss?"

"Easy Breeze." She made a dismissive wave of her right hoof. "So what's this about dangerous gangs of ponies?"

"They're harmless, if you stay out of their territory." He rose to stand properly. "We have an understanding, on account of my living there. Word goes around, mister Langerman, and they're eager to meet you." He glanced down the road. "Not in a friendly way."

That was far from ideal, but a thought nagged at me. "Why don't they come to me then?"

"Not how it works." Work looked to Easy. "You're not local, and neither is the gentlepony. That's another strike against you."

Easy flinched back. "We're just trying to help and make some honest bits. Why would anypony be upset at that?"

"It's not terribly polite, but we live in interesting times." He put a hoof under his chin. "You're either with us, or against us, and they don't know you, so they assume. Now, you've been nothing but upstanding with me so far, so I gently caution you to find another place to be."

I was getting a solid picture. "Thank you, for giving us the benefit of the doubt."

He smiled. It was a toothless curling of his lips. "A pleasure. Now, I don't... mean to sound needy, but times really have been difficult." His hoof turned back around, offering the flatside up.

And there was the trick. Celestia had not given me a single bit yet. I didn't have too much. Still, I had a castle to go get something to eat. I dug around in my pockets and drew out one of my precious remaining bits of candy. I placed the nutty-caramely teat on his hoof. "From a distant land, and one of my last ones. I hope it helps." I saw him about to try biting right into the wrapper and quickly stopped him with a yelp. "Wait! No. It's wrapped."

"Oh, my mistake." His horn glowed and he quickly had the wrapper broken and the nutty bar coming into view. "This is a fascinating bit of confectionary."

He talked fancy for a random beggar. "Say, what did you do for a living, before you became... disadvantaged?"

"Gently put," he said with a smile before he took a bite of the bar and let out a happy sigh. "A little too sweet, but lovely. Thank you. I worked in construction. It's hard work, but good work. I ran a herd of builders that oversaw some very nice buildings being erected that I see not one bit from now that they're done." He leaned back against the wall he was beside. "But let's not get mired in the unfortunate past."

Easy sprung forward. "Hey, what luck! We're looking for builder ponies. You still have your buddies around?"

His ears went up as he flinched back in surprise from her sudden approach. "Y-yes... I mean..." He looked suddenly very awkward.

"Don't mind her." I gently pulled her back. "She's eager to get to work, but she isn't wrong. We are in the market for able-bodied construction experts."

He glanced between her and me. "I don't doubt you, sir... but most of that gang ahead... That is where they turned to make ends meet. It's unfortunate, but it works for them." His barrel expanded before a great sigh escaped him. "I opted against it. I'd rather starve than turn against my fellow ponies, but I don't hold it against them. Many of them have families that need feeding, sir. They're not bad ponies, just in bad times."

There was more going on than just a simple lack of hygiene and technology. Equestria had problems. I started to wonder just how much Celestia knew. If she wasn't the one at the top of the chain, who was? Knowing that would be vital if I hoped to make any real progress. "Work Pants, we have things to discuss." I couldn't hire him right away.

Celestia hadn't even approved the project, if that was something she could do.

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6 - Rubbing Elbows

For the time, we skipped the neighborhood Work had warned us from. Advanced understanding of some key problems would do little to stop angry ponies from acting out against us. Besides, they could yet become employees, if I had a concrete position to offer them. That would be solving two problems at once.

"Where to?" Easy swiveled an ear at me as she walked ahead. "We've seen a lot of Canterlot and it's getting late."

By which, I assumed, she meant she was tired. She wasn't wrong to be. We had just spent the entire day surveying the city. My thoughts were interrupted when my foot came down on a perfectly clean brick. The air was fresher and the buildings on either side looked nicer as well. They didn't look noble, just clean. "Where are we?"

Easy shrugged softly. "I haven't been around so much until you dragged me around." She tapped around the clean roadway. "Whoever lives here takes pride in keeping their way clear at least. Good for them."

"Let's find out who this pony is." She stepped on rejuvenated hooves towards the gate that separated the small yard of the house on our left from the road. Her horn glowed as she opened the gate without difficulty. "Not locked."

I followed her to the door of the two story house. It looked small, maybe enough for a basic familty? Maybe not. Either way, I walked up and noticed the knocker. It was an outline of a griffon; a curious choice... I reached for it and struck it against the metal backing, producing a deep thunking of a knock.

"Just a moment," came a harsh female tone before the door opened to reveal the owner of the house matched her knocker quite well. The griffoness before us raised a brow. "Ah don't know either of ya." She pointed a claw at me. "I don't even know what you are, so make it fast or I close the door."

Easy slid a hoof across the line, getting her foot in the door. "We're not here to bother, promise. We just couldn't help but notice how much cleaner it suddenly got as we went by. You do a nice job keeping your slice of the city straight."

"Yeah?" She narrowed her eyes a moment. "You know that's the law, right? I'm just the only person that does their job."

Wait, what? I had to know more. "What is the law, exactly? We appreciate your time."

"Better be doing more than appreciating." She sat on her haunches and crossed her arms. "Anyway, it's pretty simple. If the road in front of your house isn't presentable, you're supposed to be fined, big time. Funny thing, I ain't seen a single person get fined so far. Whatever. I don't feel like living in a dump, so I keep the place clean anyway. What's it to you two, anyway?"

I waved outwards across the city. "I'm hoping to clean this place up in the most literal sense possible."

"Good luck with that." She scroffed as she reached for the door. "No, really, good luck. I wouldn't mind seeing it, but I doubt it."

I gently nudged Easy back. We had no reason to keep the griffon longer than we had. "Canterlot has as many social problems as it does engineering ones, arguably more." I motioned to the closed door. "When immigrants are the ones following the law and it isn't being enforced, it's little wonder the city's a mess."

Easy shook her head. "It's the same where I came from." She turned away from the house. "If you didn't have a clear road for ponies to walk past, you got in big trouble. I just thought city ponies were messed up, which is still a possibility. Where to, boss?" The way she said that last word had some friendly sarcasm in it.

"I think we need to head back to the castle. It's getting late in the day, and we need to talk." I began the trek back towards the royal seat of power, however little it was being enforced.

"We're talking right now." She bumped into my side. "What's on your mind?"

"I meant we need to talk to whoever's actually in charge. I thought that was Celestia, but maybe not? We need to be sure."

"It is a whole kingdom," reminded Easy as she hopped over a small pile of refuse in the way. "I bet there are ponies in charge of different things. Even my little town had more than one pony. The mayor and the sherriff aren't the same mare."

I had thought 'princess', for lack of a queen, would be the one to talk to, but perhaps I had been mistaken. We made our way through the crowded city. It seemed other ponies were just as eager to get home, and they weren't eager to let us, or anyone else, go first. Some pushing was required, but the traffic did move, and we emerged into the yard of the castle just as the sun was dipping across the horizon.

It had been a full day, but not an unproductive one, I decided silently. The guards nodded towards us as we approached.

"Welcome back," said the one on the left, a pegasus in their traditional gold armor.

"Princess Celestia said to inform you that she would be available after sundown," added the one on the right, a unicorn.

Easy perked at the news. "That's good, where is she?"

The first frowned faintly. "That message for him." He pointed a hoof at me.

I held up my hands placatingly. "She is my acting assistant, don't mind her."

Some tension seemed to ease from both of them. The second nodded. "She can usually be found in one of her studies. Ask a guard inside the castle and they can direct you."

The first's eyes wandered away before coming back to me directly. "What exactly is your business with the princess?"

Easy took a step forward at that. "We're here to put a smile on her face by making her problems go away. Exactly what I came here for in the first place."

That was not exactly what I remember Easy being there for originally, but I saw no reason to argue it. "We've been surveying the city for improvements that can be made."

Both sets of their brows went up together. The second inclined his head faintly. "Improvements?"

Easy raised a hoof in return. "We shouldn't keep the princess waiting." That got both to return to rigid attention, and we walked past them into the interior of the palace.

The stately halls were clean and clear, besides the waitstaff and the royal ponies that moved about. One of the latter came trotting towards us briskly, his ears directed at us. "I say, have you a moment?"

Easy looked ready to say something perhaps foolish, and I put a hand over her snout just in time. "How can we help, sir?"

He smiled at me. "How polite, more than I would have guessed, I admit. I hear you've bent the ear of her majesty." He hiked a lone brow. "Gossip is running wild with what you wish with her."

I didn't need gossip circles running wild about me. It was quite bad enough I was what I was. "I was looking for a job, a position in her service improving Equestria, starting with Canterlot."

"That's a tall order." The noble's horn shone a soft purple as a small canister of something floated into view. "And a little vague, perhaps? Do you have a specialty you plan to bring to bear, besides your bathing skills?"

That had gotten out? Should I have been surprised? He must have noticed my reaction with that little smirk on his fuzzy face.

"I've seen far more bold, and less effective, means of attaining the princess' audience." He held up a lone hoof, wobbling subtly in a 'come here' motion. When I leaned in, he whispered, "You would be well-advised to avoid repeating it, lest ponies begin to think your interests in the princess are less than pure." He sat up. "Unless, of course, they aren't. That is a dangerous game to play."

I had been duly warned. "Point taken. Tell me, do you know about who is in charge of enforcing the laws through the city?"

He reared back a precious inch in surprise. "Like most cities, we have a local sheriff for local laws. We also have the royal guard. Where one starts and one ends has been something of a sticking point, but they work well enough."

Easy frowned and advanced that inch given. "The guards patrol the streets then? I don't remember seeing them out and around."

The noble pony popped open his container, revealing it to have some kind of powder and a puffy thing that held it. He dabbed his snout lightly. "I'm afraid that is beyond my usual spheres. I am a diplomat, returned from assignment to the Saddle Arabians. Fine people, if you don't mind being the shortest pony in the room."

Easy looked suddenly interested. "Are they really as tall as the stories go?"

"It can be worse when you're beside them. They are no larger than the princess, but they are all so large and in a crowd of them, well..." He put his puffy ball back in its case and snapped it closed. "But that is a horse of another color."

"It's been nice to meet you, Sir...?"

He caught the hint, and met my offered hand with his hoof, bumping them together. "Soft Word, a pleasure...?"

It was only fair. "Ian Langerman." I waved over myself. "I feel certain we'll be talking."

"Easy Breeze," suddenly introduced Easy as she put a hoof forward. "We have plans, big plans!"

Soft took her hoof and gently kissed the top of it. "I haven't a doubt you do, miss."

Easy warmed in her cheeks and ear tips, drawing her hoof back. Her words were lost in the moment. I assumed she was expecting a hoofbump instead of a polite kiss.

A thought came to me. "I don't suppose you know what study the princess would be in? She wanted to talk to me."

He turned in place before pointing down a hallway. "She traditionally retires after setting the sun to that one. Third on the left. Do knock before entering." He leaned forward. "Another audience, and private? Ponies will talk."

"She will be with me." I motioned to Easy. "We have work to discuss."

"Well played." He looked over Easy. "Keep her close at hoof. Good luck, Mister Langerman." He walked away at an easy pace, waving down another pony to speak to.

Easy shook her head, speaking quietly, "Did he like like me?"

I settled a hand on her head. "I'm fairly certain he was being courteous in a noble way. He didn't mean anything personal beyond a friendly hello."

"Nobles can be even wierder than whatever you are." She rose up to all fours and started walking where Soft had pointed. "Let's go chat with the princess."

I couldn't argue that and moved to follow after Easy. "This project has gotten more complicated than I first estimated." There I was, thinking I could just deal with the engineering and call it a day. I'd be lucky if we even got to laying the first brick before we got through a maze of other hinderences.

Canterlot was sick, and it wasn't a sewer that would clean it away.

We arrived at the named door. It had no markings on or around it to hint what was beyond it. I raised a hand and rapped gently with the back of my hand, knuckles against the wood.

"Come in," replied a familiar female voice.

The princess was in, and it was time to talk. This time, there would be 100% less soap bubbles involved, in theory. We had plenty to go over.

Author's Note

Written at Midwest Furfest, my first time trying to peddle Ponyfinder at a not-pony convention. wish me luck!

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7 - What Troubles You?

Easy Breeze suddenly threw open the doors in front of us in an angry display. "We have things to discuss!"

I quickly moved to get ahead of her, but she didn't stop advancing. "Your Majesty," I offered as I tried to get her under control. "Apologies."

Celestia arched a brow down at us, looking between Easy and I. "I had been informed you were now in Ian's employment," she spoke in a gentle tone.

I finally got a hand on Easy's withers and grabbed the scruff of her neck and cape, barely restraining her from moving forward. "That's correct, and she should remember that."

Easy lowered to her haunches with a huff. "None of that changes that there are things we need to discuss, now." She waved a hoof at the door, closing it. "What is going on?"

Celestia's magic set the cup of tea she had been holding down. "You'll need to be a little more specific than that."

I took the step forward needed to be a little ahead of Easy. "We've seen that there are... issues--"

"Issues, he says." Eyes rolled her eyes mightilly.

"--that go beyond what a sewer system will repair. There are city ordinances that are not being enforced. The economy appears to be in disrepair. We're not sure if you have the funds and right to even authorize this project, even if it can be done in this environment."

Celestia gestured with a hoof to two chairs across the table from her. The table had small selections of biscuits and cakes. "Let us speak." Her eyes settled on the visibly irritated Easy Breeze. "I confess some surprise that you are so moved."

Easy's ears went up as she reared back a little. "What? You don't think I care about my country? Just because I perform for a living doesn't mean I'm blind to what's going on around me." She turned to me. "Besides, these days I'm a partner and manager, which means I need to keep my eyes and ears open."

I echoed Celestia's gesture before moving to take one of the two seats. "She's already been a help. So, I presume you knew this before we did. Do you have a plan at the moment?"

Celestia raised a tea kettle in her magic and poured a small cup for either of us. "I have many, but you have already seen where it has brought us. Equestria, as a whole, is beset with difficulties. I have done what I can, taking care of the more pressing matters. There is precious little time or resources left for 'smaller' things, even if they mean all the difference to my little ponies."

Easy brought down a hoof beside her cup of tea, making it rattle dangerously. "What's going on that's such a big deal?!"

That was a thought I shared. "Is there a war?" I posited with a raised brow of my own.

"Just one?" She raised her glass and sipped some of the tea gently. "My ponies are not suited for it. They are miserable, but we push on. For every attack, we must show strength, or be overwhelmed. The griffons look down on us. The minotaurs barely acknowledge we exist." Her brows went up together. "Don't get me started on the dragons. This all ignores factions of ponies that have turned away from Equestria and taken things into their own hooves. The Saddle-Arabians, the Anugyptian tribes... Then there are the closer cities that have simply decided they would be better off alone, and we don't have the spare power to argue the fact."

It seemed we had triggered a bit of a release. That was more information than I imagined she had planned to say at first. I sipped from the tea. It tasted bitter. Was it the tea's fault, or the situation? "Who are you at war with right this moment?"

Easy shook her head, looking a bit surprised. "Is it really that bad? I haven't heard a peep about any of--"

Celestia suddenly leaned forward, her long neck going across the table and brought her face close to Easy's. "We work very hard for you to not hear it. For some ponies, at least, to live peaceful lives." She righted herself and took a slow breath. "My apologies. As I'm sure you understand, this has been a trying time."

I raised a lone finger. "The current situation?"

"Ah, yes." She frowned softly. "You seem genuine in your interest, but I don't know you, sir. I would be doing a poor job to divulge much to an unvetted foreigner. What kingdom do you even call home?"

I spread my hands out, palms up. "This is the only kingdom I can call home. My original is a world away, and I doubt I'll be getting back to there. I want Equestria to succeed."

Celestia pressed her forehooves together, studying me. Easy was less quiet in her thoughts. "What do you mean 'a world away'? You're a freaky minotaur, right?" She turned her head back to Celestia. "I'm an Equestrian, tell me!"

She gestured at Easy, then me. "You are in his employ. If I do not trust him, I cannot trust you. You are correct, however. He does have the appearance of a very unusual minotaur. He has told me this is a false appearance." She leaned head head slightly over her touching hooves. "Care to tell us how you came to be here, among us ponies?"

I was hoping to avoid that story, but that was, perhaps, a silly thing to avoid. If she didn't know me, she couldn't trust me, and we would go nowhere. "I wanted to be here." Her brow raised. "Where I'm from, you are little more than a children's tale. Of course, it also glossed over the specifics that made your world work. I thought, 'I can improve on that.'. I did not know I could arrive some time in the past--"

Easy clopped a hoof on the table, that time hard enough to knock her cup right over, spilling the tea in a sadly spreading pool. "You're a time-traveling monster from... somewhere, come to play god with us?"

Celestia was silent, watching.

I was being judged. "I come only with information. I'm not a god by any measure. Hell, if Celestia wanted to, she could end me in a dozen ways before I squeaked, but I trust and hope she wouldn't do that to an unarmed person that comes with friendship in his heart."

Easy grinned in a cocky way as she wagged a hoof at me. "And you think I couldn't be creative? You're lucky you're good at ear massages, which you still owe me, by the way."

Celestia's mask fractured into a soft blink. "Ear massages?"

I opened my mouth to peak, but Easy was still going on, "I've seen a mare melt when he gave one. He knows how to use those fingers of his. So you came to rub it in our snouts that you have some fancy answers, that right?"

That was about as graceless a way to put it. "I want to share what I know with people who deserve to know it."

Celestia slowly sighed. "Tell me then, if you have come from the future, what have you seen?"

I considered that. Would it be right to say directly? "If I ended up here, I choose to accept there's a reason for that. If I can't visit the present and make a better future, it falls on me to help make sure the past becomes the present. Telling too much about that feels like it could be risky."

Celestia turned one hoof around so the clad frog was facing up. "Let us put this another way. In what major ways did this world, this 'past', surprise you?"

Where to begin with that? "There's... I missed by at least five hundred years, maybe more. Ponies aren't big on calendars, I've noticed."

"They are increasingly un-needed in cultivated areas of Equestria." Celestia looked to Easy. "Explain."

Easy jumped on being called. "Huh? Oh! Right. I mean... when is it spring? When we make it spring. When is it winter? Same deal. We argue about when's best to do it, but the ponies of my town worked pretty hard making sure it all came when it was needed."

Celestia smiled serenely. "It is my distant hope to, someday, have all of Equestria under the control of my little ponies, to have the seasons unified and upheld in harmony." She leveled her gaze on me intensely. "Do I have a hope of achieving this?"

"It isn't impossible," I said, trying to avoid a concrete answer, and it seemed to please her. "Let's not talk about the future. We have plenty to deal with right now. I didn't know Equestria was quite so... troubled." I rose to my feet, pushing my chair back with my legs in the same motion. "I'm ready to help."

Easy burst into sudden laughter. "I had you measured up wrong. I figured you were in it for some easy bits, and here you are, spinning grand promises without a single bit being offered. Are you going to drag me right down to Hades with you, mmm?" Her eyes slid over to Celestia. "Regardless, this is better than working on fountains. Count me in."

Celestia spread her hooves lightly. "Even if I accept you both at your words, there are other things in the way beyond your good will. The royal houses are split several ways on the best way to address these concerns. If I don't include them in whatever plan is devised, I'm asking for more problems. Neither of you represent them, nor are they present. If you wish to do more than plumb, you will need to become involved in the workings of this city."

Easy's eyes narrowed. "Or the failings, seeing as little in it is working right."

My dreams of being the engineer were fading. "We've met one, but I'm sure we'll need to meet many more nobles to get this moving." I glanced in the direction we had met our last. "My expertise, my specialty, you could say, is more these." I wriggled my fingers. "I'd rather get to work, but there's--"

Celestia finished my sentence, "--no point trying while things remain as they are. In this, we agree. I had planned to keep you around, learning what I might, but I never would have given the clear to advance. The funds are not present for such a project." She brought her hooves together slowly. "It is a relief that we all see the truth of the matter. This isn't to say that I'm not interested and fascinated by your proposal, but it must wait."

Easy's ears fell. "Does this mean I'm not a manager?"

I reached for one of those fallen ears and gently ran my fingertips along it from the base to the end. I could feel it twitch and jump as I found the more sensitive parts of it. Easy's eyes fell half shut as a little happy noise escaped her. "On the contrary," I argued lightly. "I need an assistant more than ever, though some call them 'secretaries'."

Easy's nose wrinkled softly. "I prefer the title of manager, if you please."

Celestia glanced between us. "He does have a talent. Perhaps in a coming day, I will experience this, but tonight is not that night." She rose, towering over us easily, though standing, she and I were not far from eye to eye. That was when I realized she had a whole body stretching out behind her. She was much larger than I was. "For tonight, I must retire and prepare for another day of work. If you wish to join me in this, report at the throneroom come the first rays of my sun. I will not afford you a favored seat. That will be up to you two to earn." She turned for the door. "I can only wish you luck."

Author's Note

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9 - Stand or Sit

The way I saw it, there were two choices. I could sit and listen. I doubted that was the last pointless argument that would be raised. I could sit, wait, watch, and maybe learn. There were advantages to the idea. It meant knowing the players. It also meant listening to... this.

"This is beside the point," spoke an angry tone as a mare rose to her hooves. "I know it's 'the standard' to pretend it isn't happening, but--"

The room exploded into shouts and glares in equal measure as factions began to form quickly. Whatever she had been about to raise was quickly forgotten in favor of the entrenched tribalism that ran through things.

Easy Breeze knocked my leg with a hoof. "This is getting a little nuts."

Soft Word let out a little sigh. "I can't disagree with the lady. This is not us at our... best."

"Silence!" boomed Celestia in a great tone. "This is unacceptable!" She raised a hoof to her chest, voice lowering. "Let us return to civility."

One of the mares near her turned her head. "Celestia, they have a point. The war, it drains our coffers and leaves little room for--"

The rabble rousing started to build just as quickly as it had been shouted down.

"We must defend what is ours!"

"Why haven't you brought the sun down on them?"

"We shouldn't even be fighting in the first place!"

It was no debate. It was a shouting match.

"Silence!" boomed Celestia, seemingly able to win in terms of volume. "Order... We are the top of our society. Let us behave appropriately." Her eyes swept over the agitated crowd. "Let us turn our attention to local matters."

A stallion bounced up to his hooves. "Local matters? The city is a disaster! Why is it allowed to be a lawless hole in the ground?"

I could see Celestia's jawline tense. She made soft excuses, but I was starting to get an idea. If they were at war, a serious one, maybe they just didn't have the local guards. They had all been deployed. That was far from an ideal situation.

I stood up. Countless eyes panned over to me, one of the tallest things in the room for sake of being a biped. "Honored mares and stallions," I started, trying for the most formal bow I could muster. "If it pleases the court, I would like to speak."

The conversation changed rapidly. They were talking about who I was and what I was. I was the star, for the moment, for good or ill. Celestia smiled thinly. "I present Sir Langerman. He has been surveying the city for potential improve--"

A hoof struck the floor. "You mean he's moving in on our duty?" bellowed a large mare, glaring at both Celestia and myself. "Good to just hear now we've been dismissed."

"Nothing of the sort, I assure." Celestia waved a hoof placatingly as she smiled at the large mare. "This is just for an... outside perspective, and he has no leave to initiate anything, just to look."

I looked to the irate mare directly. "It would be an honor to work with you. We should talk after court." I had stepped right on their feet, or hooves. Playing nice seemed like the right course of action. "But what I wanted to talk about--" I slowly turned as I continued. "--has nothing to do with construction."

A stallion pointed down at me from higher in the amphitheatre. "Since when do we allow misshapen minotaurs to speak in court?!"

The nubs of unicorn magic pressed against me as some unicorns took it upon themselves to examine me without shame or tact. The fact that I could see several different colors meant more than one was doing it, which also meant the blame couldn't be properly assigned to any one pony. They were patting me down and inspecting me shamelessly.

Celestia clapped her metal-clad hooves together. "May I remind that the use of magic on another in court is quite forbidden without express consent?" The lights and sensations faded quickly. "Sir Langerman has approached us as a friendly outsider. We could, perhaps, benefit from a fresh perspective to help draw us free of this rut we've found ourselves stuck in."

The oldest-appearing mare on the stage stood up. "This is against the usual protocols. You." She was pointing at me. "What kingdom do you represent?"

None she had heard of, I felt certain. "I hail from the distant kingdom of the Oo-knighted straights. I don't 'represent' them anymore than any person might their homeland. I will not be returning there, and I am aware of this."

The mare leaned forward, wrinkled brows knitted. "Because you don't want to?"

"Because I cannot," I replied truthfully. The one trip was chancy enough. "I am here, and I plan to stay. If I can make my new home better, that is exactly what I'd like to do."

The mare raised a brow before the other joined it. "You're a long way from home, young stallion. Don't you miss your friends, family? Before you rush to help your neighbors, maybe you should tend to your own needs." She sounded... I wanted to say almost nice? Like a grandma giving a gentle speaking to a lost child that wasn't hers.

Easy Breeze suddenly bounced up beside me. "Don't talk to him like--"

I clapped a hand over her snout. "Pardon her. Thank you, for your concern. This is my home. There is no doubt there, miss."

A smile spread over her wrinkled lips. "I am Shadymane, proud daughter of Mistmane." She raised a hobbled hoof to run through her mane. "I don't have the illustrious mane of my dam, but I hope to hold some small echo of things."

Celestia looked at ease with the pleasant conversation, but said nothing.

Others were less pleased. One mare coughed into her hoof. "Be that as it may, we should continue."

"As I was saying." I put a hand on my chest and released Easy in the same motion. "This is my home. I want to help Equestria, and proudly declare myself as an Equestrian."

A soft snicker came from a few rows back, but I couldn't hear their whispered comment. I could only guess. "Two legs or four, we are united."

Soft Word clopped his hooves together. "Well put." His motion of encouragement shook others, and soon others were clapping along. I didn't know Soft Word had so much influence, but it was impossible to miss how the room joined in the applause. It was also embarrassing. I was not used to being the center of an equine stomping and clapping circle.

The irate mare from earlier thrust a hoof towards me. Was she about to attack? "We of the construction guild wish to formally extend an invitation. Perhaps this outsider meant no harm. This is easily remedied. If he joins our order, then no harm was done."

That was not a road I wanted to rush down, but saying 'no' would be quite an insult, that much I was certain of. "Such an honor. I will need to speak with my assistant--" I gestured at Easy. "--before I properly reply to that. I assume the invitation includes her as well? No matter, we can discuss it later." There, delayed, I hoped.

I felt magic pressing down subtly and a hoof brushed against me. Soft was pointing at the ground as subtly as he could. I took the hint. I bowed once more, then settled back in my seat. I had been introduced.

Celestia cleared her throat. "Next on the agenda..."

A mare bounced to her hooves. "We need more guards! The only ones I even see are the ones in direct employ of nobles and royalty. This is unacceptable!"

A stallion raised a hoof. "The impediments of trade are becoming all the more insurmountable. Bandits roam the countryside, to say nothing of monsters that have not a scrap of fear in where they nest."

The discussion rapidly devolved to arguing over what had precedent over what.

~You. Sir Langerman,~ whispered a voice between my ears. Telepathy was not a talent I thought ponies had, and yet... there it was? ~Ah, good, I'm reaching you. Don't be alarmed, even if I sound like your inside-voice. It's Shadymane.~

I looked up and could see her looking down at me, meeting my gaze directly. ~Don't say anything, just listen. I may be old, but I haven't gone blind, yet. Celestia thinks you may be useful. It's obvious. Little filly is desperate for anything that'd take some of the burden off her shoulders. Poor thing, no one mare should have to suffer alone. I'm prattling, nevermind that.~ Now that I knew who was doing it, it was easy to imagine that mental voice being hers. ~Tell me, here, where lies do not easily live. Is this truly your home?~

~I have already made peace with the fact that I'll probably never go back to where I was born. I like ponies, and I want to help.~

~You sound like a farmer that's especially fond of their dog. Is that what we are? Cute pets? Perhaps useful.~ Her features darkened slightly. ~Speak the truth, or think it. I forget which is more appropriate.~

Ugh. I mean, sorta?

~How honest.~

I hadn't meant to 'think' that!

~But you did.~ She cracked a little smile. ~This is, perhaps, cheating, but it is also my talent. Our minds bridged, we see the truth, as ugly as it can be. Is that mare at your side your fondest pet? Your lapdog, as it were?~

I glanced aside at Easy Breeze. Thinking of her as a pet would be a quick way to infuriate her. She was far too proud to approach that way.

~You see that? But you see ponies, as a whole, as something less... Perhaps I am being overly cruel. Yours is not a malice, simply ignorance. An ignorance common in pony or anything else. What is not family is 'other', and 'other' is quickly reduced, hmm. I should imagine you do not think I am cute any longer.~

She was intimidating, but not scary, I thought. She was like the ultimate grandma pony. She saw through your bullshit, but if you treated her right, she'd probably give you a cookie.

Oh the smile that spread on her face. ~I'm not familiar with the way you think, but I got the feeling, and I approve. You may call me grandma, if you wish. I expect the respect a grandma deserves to go with it. Now, on your other side. Soft Word, how'd you get his interest? Watch out for him. Nice enough, but he has his own goals.~

A sudden metal clang shook me out of my telepathic stupor. Celestia had clapped her hooves, and ponies were standing up and dispersing. Easy prodded at me with a hoof. "You were looking kinda distant there. What were you thinking about?" Her ears perked up at me. "Got a crazy plan?"

Soft Word cleared his throat. "You have a guest." He gestured with a subtle flick of his head. The mare with the construction guild was approaching. "Best of luck, old chap. I'll see you tomorrow morning, I presume?" He didn't wait for an answer, hopping down to the floor and starting to walk leisurely towards the door.

I would have to face the guild leader with just Easy Breeze at my side. I could have had worse allies.

She approached with four other ponies behind her like a flock of geese, though they were all unicorns. Two of them were talking with one another in guarded tones, while the other two were watching me intently, as if I could do something at any moment.

The leader herself moved with confidence. No sane being would dare attack her, and there, in the court? It would have been madness to even consider it.

No one said I wasn't mad, by pony standards.

Author's Note

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10 - Guild Dues

The large mare, a little pudgy, or muscled, I couldn't tell which, smiled at me. "Since you are new to the city, we'll forgive the slight. Ignorance can be charming... But only if you act to remedy it." She lifted a hoof to point at me and Easy Breeze. "If you plan to work in construction, then being members of the construction guild should just come naturally."

I rose to my feet, feeling vulnerable sitting in the presence of the unicorn. "Nice to meet you, miss...?"

A little smile spread on her lips. "How rude of me. I'm Miss Mason. These are my associates." She glanced in either direction, but did not offer their names. "And you are Ian Langerman, as the princess announced."

Easy attacked from behind, resting her hooves on my shoulders and leaning over the side in a great feat of stretching. "I'm Easy Breeze, his manager."

Mason quirked a brow at Easy. "My managers are usually more... reserved."

I held up a hand. "I prefer a more hooves-on approach. Mason, what are the terms of your guild?"

"Mm, yes." Mason sat back to clap her forehooves together and one of her assistants approached with a sheaf of paper in their magic. "You are a cautious one, and yet..." She leaned forward. "You are a predator, I feel certain of it." Even as her companions flinched, Mason took a step forward. "You won't fight what you can't win. You look for opportunities to strike. I imagine you're sizing me up this very instant."

She wasn't entirely wrong. I was doing just that, considering how I could get around her, or use her and her guild.

"And to do that," she continued with a confident smile. "To do that... you want to know the lay of the land. Predators don't jump into unknown darkness, not the good ones."

"Ma'am," spoke one of the unicorns flanking Mason. "Are you sure we should... be talk--"

She threw up a hoof, silencing him. "You won't intimidate me, whatever you are. You want to build, predator, you'll build for me." She drove a hoof to the ground with a firm clop. "Read." The other forehoof raised to point at the collection of papers. "Read, understand, then tell me when you're ready to take the next step." With not a shred of fear that some of her companions seemed to be having, she turned away and strode with an unshakeable confidence.

As I watched the others follow her obediently, I had to respect her poise. But that made me wonder. If the construction guild had such a confident and charismatic leader, why weren't more things being built? I glanced around the room and it came easily. They had no more real success getting funded than I had. There were too many other things falling apart.

Easy prodded at my side, seated next to me. "Hey, are we going? We're practically the last ones in here that aren't guards." She had the guild papers in her magic, floating beside her.

"Yeah... We have issues." I turned for the exit. "We should review that, but I don't think anyone's getting much building done at the moment." There was one looming factor. One thing that just overpowered all other failings in their society. "War."

Easy perked an ear at me. "War? What about it?" She reached up and tucked the papers away in that strange pocket that ponies seemed to have. "Besides everypony talking about it like it was going out of style." She rolled her eyes with a disgusted snort. "Ridiculous."

"Yeah..." That wasn't my exact thought. "It's in the way." I stepped ahead of her, hastening. "Until that's resolved, there won't be sewers or much of anything else. Things will continue to slide down."

Easy scampered to be in front again and twirled around to face me with an angry expression. "And what do you plan to do about it? Don't you dare say what I think you'll say."

"What? Join the army?" She flinched and looked twice as angry. I waved a hand downwards. "No plan of that. My specialty is trying to be clever with varying degrees of success, not fighting ponies, or whatever they're fighting." Easy sagged with relief. "But." She tensed. "But... we could help them fight."

Easy formed a very human hand out of her magic and poked me with it. "Now you're thinking of... I don't even know what you're thinking... You'll still need a manager for whatever it is, right?"

That face, so fierce, and yet vulnerable. Damn it, I was thinking of her like a little dog I wanted to be happy. Screw it, she was my dog, and I wanted her happy. "Easy, you're stuck with me until you decide to go." I ruffled the top of her head as she swiftly colored.

"For the... You're embarrassing me," she muttered, looking away, but not shying from the petting. "So, uh, boss, where to next?"

A fine question, I decided. "We need to gather my power." I strode past her, walking purposefully for our room. "And I mean that literally."

"Literally?"

"Well, maybe not that literally." I pulled open the door and... there she was. Water Lily was holding up my phone, gazing at it with wondering eyes as she pawed at it gently between her forehooves. At the sound of my entry, she squealed and dropped the phone as if it were made of fire, letting it flop to the bed she was holding it over.

"Sir! I..." She threw herself prostrate. "Forgive me!" She shook with abject terror. "Please forgive me... I was very careful with it, I swear..."

Easy stalked past me with a scowl. "We turn our backs for a second and you're in here rifling through our stuff? I thought you were better than that."

Water burst into sniffles. "I meant no harm, sir, ma'am... It was inexcusable. I'm sorry!"

I put up both hands, one swinging back to knock the door shut behind us. "Water, what were you doing, exactly?"

She pointed towards the dropped phone. "I... saw it before, and I wanted to... I was curious..."

Easy inclined her head toward the phone. "That's his. Even I'm not allowed to touch that." She looked over her shoulder. "Is this the power you wanted to get?"

"Precisely so." I moved to pick it up before anything else happened to it. "Water." She looked up at my pitiably. "Don't touch this again, kindly."

Water looked perplexed. Easy looked furious. "You're not going to punish her?"

"No need." I sank to a knee and brushed away a few tears from Water's face. "She knows what she did was wrong." Besides, forgiveness was the Equestrian way, at least, the Equestria that I had grown to love. Would this Equestria become that one? Well, if it could start with a few people acting the part... Besides, I liked Water Lily.

"You're t-too kind, sir." She threw out her hooves suddenly and hugged me. "You won't report me?"

Easy prodded at Water's rump. "Will you never do that again? I'll have my eye on you."

Water nodded back at Easy. "Never again, unless he requests it, of course." She sat up tall. "Oh! I had come here for another reason. How did court proceed? Were you received well?"

Easy threw her hooves wide. "He was the star of the show, for a moment." With a glowing horn, she drew out the sheaf of papers. "And he has an invite to a guild."

Water's eyes followed the papers intently. "What good fortune! To be part of a guild, sir, is a considerable advancement. I'm certain they will recognize your skills and promote you high in no time at all."

"I haven't agreed to it just yet." I gestured at the floating papers. "What do you know of the construction guild?"

Water tapped her cheek. "The one run by Mason? She is a demanding guest when she stays in the castle, sir, quite unlike you." Her nose wrinkled faintly. "Her fur is very thick." There was just a hint of disgust there. "But she tips well, when her every need is met."

That was a very maid-centric view of a pony. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised by it. "Do you know about her, outside of being a guest of the castle?"

Water tapped her forehooves slowly. "Well... There was a time when an earthquake damaged a portion of the castle. They hired her. For a few months, she was a regular around the castle. Very demanding, I mentioned, but she got the job done with her workerponies very well. Once they were done, you couldn't even guess where the holes were."

So she did her job. That was good. A guild leader that just soaked up money would have been something to avoid, and possible considering the social decay of the city. "Thank you, that's good to know." With my phone in hand, I quickly woke it up and... thought I should put a password on it. I hadn't before, but Water Lily had shown a pony could get curious about it, and she had gotten as far as turning it on.

I quickly tapped out a pin for the phone to access it in the future and nodded, satisfied that no pony was likely to force their way past it. That settled, I quickly dove into the informational sections. I needed weapons that weren't hard to make, or use...

Easy was peering at me. "What are you doing? Looking for those soldier aids?"

"Soldier aids?!" Water Lily put a hoof over her mouth. "Is the gentlepony considering joining the army? He mustn't! They would not be kind to his..." She colored and stopped. I could guess she was about to mention my skin. "It... wouldn't suit you, sir."

I flicked through articles, searching for the right one. "I don't plan on going to the frontlines, but I could help from here." I didn't know enough. No matter how far I pressed, more questions were thrust on me. I didn't know enough. "Is there someone in the castle who is in charge of the army? A general or something like that?"

Easy waved a hoof vaguely. "We saw him today. He was the one complaining about the Greeting of the Sun. Even I know that." She smirked devilishly. "Poor outsider. Anyway, General Alabaster is hard to miss. What about him?"

I clicked the phone off and tucked it into a pocket. "He's who we have to talk to."

Easy tapped at the papers still held in her magic. "We going over this or not?"

Right, there was that. "We should." Even if I imagined I couldn't do that right away, I should know. Not knowing is what was getting in the way constantly.

Water Lily suddenly bowed her front forward. "Sir, Ma'am, I should resume my duties. If you have need for anything at all, you have but to call me, or ring the bell." She pointed to a small hand bell, or was that more of a mouth bell, considering the ponies. "Best of luck." She strode for the door. "Your linens have been laundered, have no fear."

I opened the door for her with a quick few steps. "Thank you for the information, Miss Lily."

She warmed. "Just Water, or Water Lily, will do, sir." With a little happy giggle, she trotted through the door.

"And don't go snooping on our stuff," called out Easy, her tongue extended a moment before her eyes moved back to the papers. "Now, let's see... Founded in, blah blah, current leader, blah. Hey, their headquarters, I know that place, mmm..." She raised a hoof to trail along with her eyes as she read quickly. "First page is mostly fluff." She tossed it aside. "Now here's some meat... Mmm... There's a fee for joining." She tapped at the papers. "Five bits per inducted member. One bit per month base dues."

I sat on the edge of my bed, watching her review the papers. There was plenty to go through. Then we had a general to approach.

Author's Note

What easy invention would you introduce to give ponies an edge?

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11 - War Report

Information.

I needed more of it. I had come to that world, thinking I would be the source of it. I had been a fool. "Easy Breeze."

She looked up at me, the last paper of the guild documents falling to land on the pile of the others. "What's up, Boss?" She turned to face me with an easy smile, pun intended. "Are we going to chat with the general now? What makes you think they'll want to talk to you?"

"I'm known, and he's likely curious." I turned for the door, reaching for the handle. "If not, we'll have to be clever."

"That sounds like you." I heard her trotting after me. With the door opened, we advanced into the hallway.

I saw a guard just to the left of my door. Was he watching my room? He had the usual gold armor, but was a deep black in color instead of the usual white. He didn't respond to my presence, looking straight ahead as if frozen.

It was comforting, in a way. It meant I was familiar enough to not warrant special attention from the local law enforcement. I broke the silence between us, "Do you know where the general is?"

That seemed to surprise him, his ears twitching in that way the ponies had. "He should be in his study, sir. Do you require something?"

Easy slid out from behind me, going around my legs. "The boss wants to talk about this war and--"

I clapped a hand over her snout. "Get an update on the current affairs." Suddenly, there was pain. I had, apparently, gone over the limit of times I was allowed to silence Easy that way. She had bitten my fingers in a firm but brief nip.

The guard's eyes moved between us, not seeming to notice the momentary wince that I gave. "He is a very busy pony. If you don't have an appointment, I can't take you to him, sir, ma'am."

Easy nudged my stunned hand out of the way. "So how do we get an appointment?"

The guard's shoulders lifted slightly, his eyes following a noblemare wandering past a moment. "Only the head council is permitted to seek him out. All others must be approached by him. He is very important, and busy."

Head Council? "Like Celestia?"

"She is one member of the council, yes. All the ponies you saw this morning, on the stage."

I had two allies on the council then. Celestia, and Shadymane; just needed to reach one of them. "Is Celestia available?"

"Princess Celestia," sternly corrected the guard. "She is also a very busy pony. She will seek you out when she has business for you, or you can lobby either of them during court."

I heard Easy complaining, but the words were hazy. Other words were far more pressing. ~In trouble, already?~ I recognized it swiftly. It was Shadymane. Her telepathy worked over a distance? ~If I want it to. You'll forgive your granddam for keeping an eye on her curious grandcolt.~

I had been, and still was, being spied on. It was difficult being angry at Shadymane... which could have been part of her magic. ~You want to talk to that outrageous and unruly stallion? Why? He's a miserable lout that has no respect for the past. You'll find nothing but trouble there.~

A sharp prod of a hoof brought me out of my mental space. Easy was peering at me with something between rage and concern. "What has you distracted? You alright?" She waved at the guard who had returned to staring forward. "He's not helping."

He wouldn't. "I have a way, but I need to concentrate."

"You look anything but concentrated." She rolled her eyes mightily. "You could at least sit down when you do... whatever it is you're doing." She pointed to where the wall met the floor, then turned, watching the ponies that wandered past. "I'll keep watch."

~She means well,~ spoke the voice in my head. ~Now, really, you want to talk to him?~

Whatever kind of pony he was, he was the key. The war had to end for anything to get done.

~And you plan to help him win it?~

I had to know more. Not knowing was wasting time, possibly costing lives. Who was the war against? What was happening there, at the front line of the conflict? Who started it and who has what stakes in it?

~Slow down! That's a lot of questions you have. What makes you think I don't know all those answers, mmm? So eager, you forget your granddam is right here.~

I stopped even faintly seeing the hallway.

I was seated on a cushion in front of a low table. Across from me was Shadymane, watching me with a little smile. "Hello," she gestured to the ornate table that sat between us. Around us, blackness. We were literally floating in a void. On the table was a tray of cookies. "Just the kind you like."

Daring to reach for a cookie, I wondered why there weren't smaller plates for either of us, and there just was, as if I had just missed their presence. "Y-yeah..." I was not used to being summoned to mental planes, alright? "Nice to... see you again?"

She brought up both forehooves and rested her head where they met. "I'm sorry for alarming you. You wanted to talk, didn't you?" She gestured with a little wave of a hoof. "Go on."

The cookie? She meant the cookie. I took a bite out of it and remembered the good parts of most cookies I ever ate, running together into some kind of sum total of what made cookies great. Mind spaces... Having enjoyed the soft and yet crunchy sweet-tangy-sour... thing... I gently set it down. "That is more than a little strange." I felt the tension in my voice and tried to fight it. I had to stay calm. "Shadymane, what's going on? Start from the start."

"I do wish I could point a hoof at some... other." She moved her hoof in a slow circle. Where she pointed, other species appeared, each with great menace. A dragon breathing fire, a minotaur with a mace held high, a griffon in full armor, sword at their hip. "It would be so nice... But they are not it." The images were banished with a flick, fading into smoke, then into darkness.

If it wasn't some other...

"Yes." Shadymane smiled, but it was a pained expression. "Ponies are the enemy of ponies." With a soft sigh, images of them appeared, with their big eyes and smiles. "Just us... with different points of view. They fight for what is right, in their eyes. We fight for what is right, in ours. Between us..." She brought her hooves together, but when they touched, there was no clop, a silent meeting. "Celestia is the root, and it tears her apart. She never wanted her people to... be this way, but she is the cause."

My thoughts gave rise to Celestia. She was seated at the same table, smiling at either of us in a sad way. She said nothing as a tear spilled from her eyes, lost in her off-white fur.

Shadymane glanced at the image I had made. "You like her, that's good... She is a good pony, but this is her fault, like it or no. When she ruled with her sister, they were seen with awe, and fear. When she attacked her sister, deposing her... That was the tipping point."

Shadymane closed her eyes and the darkness faded away, as did the table, and the Celestia. It all ceased to be. How did a literal void go away? I couldn't exactly explain it, but it was gone, replaced with a rapidly sketched scene as if an artist were busily painting it before my eyes.

I saw a literally picturesque little pony town. Shadymane's voice spoke over it all, "It started slowly, in distant places." There were two ponies close together, whispering. "Rumors spread of Celestia's attacking, and killing, her sister. Most ignored it." One of the two held up a hoof at the other and turned away. "But not all..." Another pony came up to hear what the first was saying. "It took time." The sun rose and fell visibly, and began to hasten. "An entire generation passed."

The scene was painted over in wide swathes of black and rapidly redone, showing an outdoor stage. An earth pony stood behind a podium, speaking to a crowd that grew larger as the invisible painter drew more and more other ponies. I could hear... her? It was a her. She was giving a speech, an impassioned one. "She rose to power on this bed of suspicion and fear," spoke the unseen Shadymane. "She urged ponies return to leading their own way, away from the 'false gods' that were Celestia and her already removed sister."

The scene rolled like a scroll, showing the council on side of a field, golden guards spread out in front of them. On the other was that mare with a wide field of normal ponies with makeshift weapons. "She became too large for us to ignore. She became too large for us to intimidate. We urged her to lay down her weapons."

A spear flew with crystal clarity across the field, striking a guard standing beside the painted, and considerably younger, Shadymane. The guard collapsed. "He was a darling colt... The first, but far from the last. The war began in earnest."

We were seated at that table. Celestia had returned, weeping silently. Shadymane was looking at me directly. "The longer it persists, the more things decay. The decay becomes a reason to join the rebellion. It is a cycle."

A very negative one... "I hate to ask this." I set my hands on the table. "Has letting them win been considered?"

Shadymane quirked her lips in a half smirk. "They have a few requirements to their victory." She waved a hoof towards the Celestia image and she fell forward suddenly, head smashing into the cookies and sending them scattering out across the void. The tears stopped. She was still. "That is the first of them."

Jesus Christ on a stick... "And it gets worse or better from there?"

Shadymane lowered her head, horn pointed towards me. "Oh, they want the council as a whole, of course. I don't mind that too much. I've had a very full life." She cracked a smile. "If it meant peace, I'd already have walked out and offered my head. What kind of granddam would I be if I valued my own hide over so many of my precious children?"

I felt rising disgust, but no nausea. It wasn't my actual belly where I thought it was. I couldn't 'feel' things like that. "What do they want? Celestia's dead, you're all dead, then what? What's the end game?"

Shadymane lowered her hooves to the table, counter to my hands. Her eyes burrowed into mine. "They want us to go back to the old ways, when unicorns sacrificed themselves keeping the sun coming up, and putting the moon to rest. 'Only when we all sacrifice do we all know the value of what we have', or so they say." She leaned back a little, sighing. "It's quite a mess. So."

She came forward, suddenly her nose an inch from mine despite the table between us. "What do you plan to do? Make us better at slaying our kin? Will we litter the field with more mother's sons and daughters? Will we burn their rebelling towns to the ground, hoping to build something from the ashes?" She sat back heavily. I could feel the ache of fatigue in her in our shared mental space.

"Will we become the monsters they already assume we are? Perhaps we should just march Celestia to the front, let her magic rain finality on the entire thing. Would that be good?" She never stopped staring at me. "Tell me."

I felt my plans coming unhinged. My plans were all to make the ponies rise triumphant over some exterior foe. Giving them a single new weapon to turn against their own kind...

I thought information would set me free.

Maybe not.

Author's Note

The details of the war become clear, and the path forward becomes muddled in equal parts. What would you do?

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12 - Application

I sat on the edge of the bed, frowning. We were in our room. Easy was looking at me with an odd expression.

"Are you just going to sit there?" She shook her head. "We won't get paid if we don't actually do something."

"I want to!" I practically jumped to my feet. "I'm ready to start a dozen little projects to improve the world, and we can't do any of them." I had expected to be wrestling with logistics and physics, not sociology. But, then, what great project ever came to be without the cooperation of the times? "Look, we've been taking this all in, but, like you said, we haven't done something. Let's change that."

Easy clapped her hooves. Whenever ponies did that, it was a nice reminder that they were not horses. Any horse that could do that was already maimed for life. "I like the sound of that. What kind of something do you have in mind?"

"We are outside parties." I waved a finger between her and myself. "Let's get the other half of this story, straight from the horse's mouth."

She squinted at me. "We aren't horses, but alright...? Who is the other half?"

Right, what I know doesn't get shared to her automatically. "The rebels. The ponies fighting Equestria, and doing a good enough job of it to keep the country in paralysis. Maybe we can convince them to stop this, or at least learn what their side of it is."

Easy looked suddenly unsure. "You want to go marching up to a bunch of armed and dangerous ponies and just kinda... say hi? The last time we knew there were armed ponies waiting for us, we turned around and left."

That reminded me... "I wonder if he knows about them."

"Who?"

"Work Pants." Come to think of it... "He is, or was, a part of the same guild aiming for us, probably. I want to talk to him." I pocketed my phone and moved for the door.

Easy hopped clear of her own bed and came trotting up behind me. "Alright, that's something I don't fear for my life doing."

I opened the door to see a glowing horn and a raised hoof. Water Lily scrambled back a step. "Sorry, sir. I was just about to knock." She gestured her head to the side at some floating linens. "I was going to make your beds."

Easy wrinkled her nose at Water. "Go ahead, we're taking our valuable stuff with us this time."

Water shrank at the accusation, but didn't fight back. It hurt me to see her like that. "It's alright," I assured. "We were just headed out."

We traded places with her. She trotted into the room and we went down the hallway, heading for the castle's exit.

"Sir." A guard at the castle exit rose as we came into view. "I have a package, from the princess." He fished out a bag and held it towards me. "For services rendered."

Had I rendered any services yet? I accepted the durlap bag. It had some weight to it, and I could hear metal clinking around in there. I had just been paid, despite not... doing much yet. I needed it too much to complain too loudly. "Tell her I said thank you."

Easy circled in front of me. "I've been mighty patient, but I get a share of that, right?" Her eyes were on the bag. "Fair is fair, and I've been an A+ manager, right?"

I had no idea how many bits were in there, and only the start of an idea of how far any given bit went. "Let's discuss that, not here."

Easy's ears fell to either side. "Oh, right. Have a nice day, gentleponies." She turned away from the guards and we both descended the stairs into the city proper.

We weren't even a block away before I saw her horn glowing. "Let's see how much she's paying."

I wanted to grab her horn, but my lesson was learned. One should not just go touching ponies like they were a well-trained pet. "That can wait until we're back inside. For now, let's not flash bits around as we go."

She huffed at that, but didn't argue it further. "Do you think he's still at the same place?"

"Only place we can look."

As we winded through the city, my eyes took in details I had missed the first time. Before, I had been focused on the ground and its lay. That time, I found myself noticing the graffiti. It made much more sense, with the context. 'Gods don't own the sun', reported one scrawling.

They had done an impressive job of isolating the city from the war, considering I only spotted the barest handful of missives decrying things from the specific angles of the rebellion. Most were gang signs, I assumed, or just personal tags. Mind, they did not have spray paint. Such marks were gouged or stained with exotic things that likely took much more time and effort than shaking a can would ever had done.

It did mean whatever messages were made were put there with a very intent purpose. One did not 'idly' carve a message into stone or wood.

The crowds were present, pushing their way through the crowded streets. I quietly pined for the wide and majestic avenues that Canterlot once had... in the future? Will have? I had to focus on getting past equine bodies, everyone trying to get to where they needed to be and few seeming to care about the others. I was just as guilty, in the end.

As we pushed past the central road and began approaching the poor corner we had first met him, the noise and crowd died away. Less ponies were present, or perhaps they were more indoors around that area. It did have a gang problem, perhaps they were smart for staying off the streets.

Work Pants was where we had left him, though his left eye was swollen shut with a big hoof print showing around it, as if he'd been kicked in the face. Despite that, he sat there, being as composed as a person with a black eye cloud be. "You're back," he greeted. "Good to see you again, sir, ma'am."

Easy pointed right at the injury. "What happened to you?!"

He winced and withdrew just a little. "I had a... conversation with my old friends. Let us put that aside. Has the princess approved of your project?"

I could hear hope in his voice. It was hope I didn't want to let down. "We have a new project," I said, trying to sound as confident as possible. "One, I hope, you might help with." I crouched down to be closer to his level. "Do you know about the rebellion?"

His good eye widened, darting left and right. "Y-you shouldn't talk about that, sir. You'll only invite trouble."

Easy lifted her shoulders. "Which you've been avoiding so well. Seriously, what happened?"

He sagged back with a weary sigh, as if he could hide in the shade of his alley. "I... went to tell them, about possible work, sir, ma'am. They didn't appreciate the idea of being hopeful without bits in hoof, as it were. 'Maybes don't feed our foals,' I think was said."

Easy's face only soured. "And that's enough to kick a pony these days?"

"Don't hold it against them." He sagged. "They are angry at me, and I deserve it... I must have seemed to them as if I were asking for forgiveness with empty promises." His eye returned to me. "Now, sir... What is it you're hoping to hear?"

I sank down further, sitting in front of him. "What do you know, about the war?"

"More than I care to." He shrank back further into the gloom, only the very end of his snout touching the light. "Ponies don't like talking about it... A good way to get my other eye bashed, sir."

Easy pointed at me with a firm thrust. "He isn't 'most ponies', and he asked. We're your friends, and you haven't made either of us angry, so..." She began to roll that hoof. "No kicks, promise."

He smirked a little. "A beat old pony, is that what I've become, jumping at shadows." He laughed, a short pained sound. "Sorry, do forgive me. Where do we begin then? Do you know something to start?"

So I caught him up on what I had learned. Easy was quite fixated, that being her first time hearing of it, I guessed.

He nodded slowly. "Not inaccurate, but very... clear what side spoke those words, and what eyes saw the events." His tongue peeked, running over his lips. "Have you already taken a side?"

I held up a hand, palm towards him. "I want to know more. I've tried acting first, it hasn't worked so far."

"Fair." He shuffled in place softly. "I didn't come from such... unfortunate starts. I was once a noblepony, next in line to the Pants estate. I took the wrong side." His lips turned upward into a faint smile. "Isn't that how that tends to go?"

Easy stomped a hoof hard enough to bounce in place. "You want to kill Celestia?!"

Work withdrew entirely, scrambling backwards into his alley. "N-no!"

"Easy there, Easy." I hadn't meant to repeat the word, but it wasn't my fault that was her name. "Work, please, tell us then, from your view, what you were supporting."

"Yes... well..." He got himself back upright onto his haunches. "I think Princess Celestia is a fine pony, but that is too much power, and responsibility, to put on the shoulders of any one pony." He tapped the front of his hoof on a loose cobblestone. "I was thinking... maybe we should trust more ponies... It's what we do, without saying it. Local ponies make local laws, and it seems to work."

Easy pointed up towards the castle. "She's not in charge. She can't even just hire us to start fixing this dump."

"This dump is my home, ma'am." For however meek he had been, he hardened in defense of Canterlot. "This may not be its finest hour, but it is still a wonderful city. It deserves better."

I stood up and offered a hand into the dark. "No arguing that," There was a slight tremble in my voice. "Canterlot can, and should, be more than it is now. I've seen it."

He was quiet a moment, staring at me. "What have you seen?"

"Clean, wide streets. Happy ponies." I could envision it in my mind. "Snooty nobles snooting it up in the center of a thriving Equestria. Where parties are what people look forward to, instead of... this." I threw a hand at the city-at-whole. "Where ponies worry more about perfecting their purpose instead of where the next meal is coming from."

"That... sounds nice." He chuckled as he stepped closer slowly, rising up to all fours. "And you think we can reach that? You are a strange one, sir. You're not even a pony, but you're going on about an ideal land for them. Why do you care, sir?"

It was a decent question. Why did I care? "I had a thousand stupid reasons before, but this is where I am and will remain. This is my home, and, as you said, it's not nice to call your home a dump. I'd rather work on that."

"A traveler come to find root, hmm." He sat before me and put a hoof to my still outstretched hand, meeting it. "Very well. Let me tell you the other side then, since you've heard the 'loyalist' angle."

Easy huffed out an impatient sigh "Is this going to be a while?" Her eyes moved to me. "I'm taking a few bits and getting us something to chew on while we listen." It wasn't a question. Her horn was already glowing.

Still, it wasn't an awful idea. I thrust a hand into my pocket and dug into the bag, feeling out a few coins and producing them.

She sharply whistled as she took only two of them. "Put the bigger ones back away before we're mugged."

Author's Note

Work Pants has a story to share! Yay! But what manner of typos hide in his tale?

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13 - Another Point of View

Work sat up, looking almost haughty. "I wasn't going to bring it up, sir, but I see you are..." He gestured at the bag the money had come from. "I do have needs, slim as they are currently. A little recompensation would go far."

I was being shaken for money, but I found it hard to be angry at Work for asking for some payment. He was in a far worse place than I was. Just... "Let's wait until she comes back."

"It's because you don't understand the coins." He raised a hoof towards the bag. "I may be a pony of diminished stature, but a noble I remain, and I stand proud of that." He nodded softly, even as his eyes wandered for sources of danger. "I will be truthful."

It was a matter of trust. I could wait until Easy came back, or show the coins to him and let him show his nature. I had a compromise in mind. I dug out my phone, had it on, and set out some of the coins. I took a quick snapshot of it. "Alright, how much is that?"

His eyes were on the phone, likely wondering what it was, but they lowered to the coins. His hoof danced as his mental eye went from coin to coin, counting it just under his breath. "You have sixty bits there, sir, give or take." He reached out and put a hoof on one. "This is the largest, a twenty bit coin." He moved and tapped another. "Five bit." And tapped a last. "One bit."

That was valuable information. At least I knew the basic sizes. They sure didn't have numbers written on them. I started gathering them up, dedicating the differences as I did so. "And how many would be fair for this service?"

"That's not a fair question, sir. Either a pony is greedy and quotes too high, or humble and accepts too little." He lifted his shoulders. "In my state, I confess, I am likely to be in the latter camp." He glanced in the direction Easy had gone. "You seem a good-natured sort, chap, and I like the vision you have. He pointed at one of the smallest one bit coins. "Just enough to get a nibble."

Part of me wondered how much of that had been a play on my own emotions, because it was working. I held out a five bit coin instead. "Let's start. I want to hear your story."

The clip-clop of hooves had us both looking. It was Easy, returning with a small basket floating beside her. "I didn't miss anything good yet, have I?" She sat down beside me and started unfolding what became a little picnic of supplies. "Not the most ideal place for it, but let's try to have fun with it." She waved at Work. "I got enough for three."

Work's expression warmed at that, a kindness he didn't expect, I imagined. "Thank you, now then, let's begin." He took one of the little rolls Easy had brought, dotted with seeds as it was. His equine chompers came down on it and he was quiet a moment. "Mmm, yes, so here is the tale, from my point of view."

Word of the conflict was only reaching our ears indirectly. Neither Celestia nor the rest of the council said a word about it. They were pretending nothing was happening, but it was much harder for nobility to follow along. After all, I had business that was not moving as it should, and I couldn't just 'pretend' that was alright.

So I left Canterlot, temporarily of course, to see what was going on. What I found chilled me. The rural ponies were beside themselves with quite the list of complaints. Some of them were quite edgy and I didn't sympathize at all, but a few had a kernel of sense to it.

You've met her, the princess, have you not? She really is a mess, through no fault of her own. I believe in her goodness. She wants to do what's right, but there's only one of her... I'm certain this conflict is no assistance in the matter. Oh, how I wish her sister were still here. I'm told she was quite a positive influence when she was around.

Ignored? Don't be ridiculous. My grandsire was quite a fan of her. Ahem, perhaps... indecently, let's put that aside. Regardless, I brought back the idea of Celestia abdicating some of her responsibilities. She already had the tremendous task of moving the sun and moon, and isn't that enough for one pony to bear? It is a miracle she hasn't burnt out as so many other unicorns have done over the years.

As I was saying, I proposed it, but it wasn't taken very well.

Celestia looked at me with those intense eyes, a mixture of sadness and frustration there. "You know I can't do that," she said.

The elder mare, Shadymane, leveled a hoof at me. "You've been talking with them!" she practically hissed at me. "I thought better of you."

The atmosphere around the room grew dark and tense. I had done it. I tried to back away from the topic, warding it away with gentle motions of my hooves. "Let's not get carried away. It is an idea, nothing more. Princess Celestia, the poor dear, is clearly overworked. We should think of her for a change inst--"

The general stood up, glaring at me. "Have him removed," he said, each word sharp, like an invisible thrown dagger.

The guards came for me, and I wasn't raised to break laws, so I didn't resist them when they led me out. It was a shameful moment, sir. I could feel the eyes of all my peers burrowing into me with each step. Their voices whispered my likely faults.

I was not welcome in my own home. My older sister threw a pittance of bits at me through the bars of the estate, and told me to leave them alone. I had been disowned, humiliated, and... here I am.

Work Pants slowly sighed. "Not my finest time, sir, ma'am. If I can provide anything, just know the people are not one mind. They have as many opinions on what should be done as there are people. They just agree that what we have isn't working."

He sank on himself. "I can't say they're wrong, in my condition. Tell me, sir." He was looking at me directly. "How would you fix this? Have you chosen a side?"

Easy was also looking at me, though she was chewing a carrot as she did so.

"I have." I pushed to my feet. "I stand by Equestria."

Work's lips quirked. "A fine sentiment, but we all do that, I hope. Does your Equestria have room for me? For Celestia? For those ponies? What is your Equestria?"

Easy wobbled a hoof. "It better have room for your manager, just saying."

I was getting a slightly better idea of things. "Did you meet their leader? I really want to hear what her story is." I gestured off, not that I had any idea what direction she was in. "She is a major player in this drama. If we can figure her out, a lot would come together."

"Once," he sighed. "She has a powerful force of personality. It was easy, from the first word, to see why other ponies were following her so easily. She took me aside, you see, and told me they would take back 'their' Equestria. I objected to the idea that unicorns burning out was ever a 'good' thing. Really, just a needed thing. We did it because we had to, not because anyone liked it."

He ran a hoof over a dirty cobblestone. "Imagine, sir, if you had to work yourself so hard every day that you collapsed from the effort, until, eventually, your arms--" He was pointing at my right one. "--just broke, and they never healed. You'd not have them anymore. They'd be there, but you couldn't move them. Imagine that."

I really didn't want to. That was a terrible fate. "Right, Celestia stays. Besides, she is a good pony, and murdering someone really isn't the pony way."

Work and Easy blinked in odd sync. He tilted his head. "While murder is not a civil way of things, where is it written that it is specifically not a 'pony' thing, sir?" Easy bobbed her head in quiet agreement with the question.

There I was, interjecting future-thoughts into things. "Well, it shouldn't be, right?"

"No... it shouldn't." He turned his head, eyes still focused on me. "What is the 'pony way', sir?"

He had noticed something, I felt certain, and he wasn't letting go. Well, crud. "I'm only speaking in idealisms, but there are things ponies should aspire to." I counted on my fingers, an act that had their eyes fascinated a moment. "Kindness, Honesty, Generosity, Loyalty, Laughter, and--"

Easy shook her head in a rapid little motion. "Laughter? What kinda 'virtue' is 'laughter'?"

Work looked less shocked. "We could use some laughter, just about now, ma'am." He stood up. "I don't know where you heard of such virtues. Did they come from your homeland, er, your original, I mean. I understand you've accepted Equestria as your new home, but we can't forget our roots." He stepped forward, emerging from the shadows entirely. "Even if you are willing to leave it all behind, you can't." He circled me, looking up at me. "You've taken some of it with you, and it will remain. That isn't a terrible fact."

Easy quirked an ear towards him. "When did you start waxing poetic on us?"

"I used to do it far more often." Work sat back down, though outside his alley. "Sir, as I was saying, she was quite compelling, but perhaps... extreme. I didn't favor her wish to see all the current rulers killed. It didn't sit right by me at all. Many of them have done nothing worse than argue for their vision of a better Equestria."

"A question." I was looking towards Work. "When that all happened, how did Celestia react?"

"Hmm?"

"When you were thrown out of the court," I expanded.

"O-oh... She was..." I guessed he was thinking back on the event. "She looked sad, sir. I don't think she wanted that."

I doubted she did either. "Alright. There is really only one direction left to go."

Easy pointed up at the castle. "There?"

"No." I pointed to where I had entered the city. "We need to go out and meet with them, personally. We have to talk to her."

Easy cringed and took an uneasy step back. "Everything I've heard about her makes her sound like a mare I don't want to be near."

And yet... "We have to. She is a key player, arguably the one that's to make the biggest difference." I dusted off my pants from what had collected from sitting there on the dirty street. "Work, you've met her."

"I have," he admitted easily. "Why?"

"We'll need a guide. It's a paying job, of course." I had half an eye on Easy for any strong reactions, but she just watched.

Work licked his lips before giving a stiff nod. "If you wish it, sir... I'm afraid the response you get might be... chilled, and caution you against it, but I doubt my counsel will prevent this action." He smiled a little. "Perhaps a little recklessness is called for, sir." His eyes fell to Easy.

Easy raised a hoof to her chest. "What are you looking at me for? I'm coming. I'll complain the entire way, but I'm his manager, which means I have to come." She formed a human hand with her magic and poked me right in the ribs with it. "That also means I need to be paid."

Right. "Alright, here's the battle plan. Me and Easy are going shopping for supplies. Tomorrow, bright and early, we'll come back here, pick you up, and we set out."

Work nodded even as his horn glowed, the one remaining roll that was likely meant for me, but I hadn't touched, floating up over towards him. "I will be ready, sir."

Author's Note

This Equestria is not ready for the Elements of Harmony, not yet. It was a typo mentioning them, perhaps.

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14 - Hero Departs

And thus it was! The brave hero marshalled his supplies, that being Easy and me. We bought a small wagon to go with it, but they had no horses, and looked scandalized when I brought up the idea. Apparently ponies drew their own wagons, and I was a very odd person for thinking it should be any other way.

Easy slipped under the harness and had it moving easily, at least once we upgraded to one above the bare minimum grade. I wasn't sure how any pony planned to pull that rusty monstrosity.

We filled the wagon with travel rations and camping supplies. I didn't know the going rates of most of those things and Easy proved her worth. She was the haggler of the two of us, ensuring we got a better price than the starting offer each time. She also know the hows and whys of what we were doing better than I.

With her help, I was feeling confident for a little journey across Equestria in greater comfort than I had suffered reaching Canterlot the first time.

"Weapon?"

My attention snapped to Easy Breeze. "Weapon?"

She pointed a hoof at a selection of swords and spears that hung close to what I presumed was a blacksmith pony mare. "Do we want some?"

"Do you know how to use one?" The idea of a pony fighting with a sword in their mouth was, in some ways, amusing. "I can't say I have experience in it."

Her magic wrapped around one of the blades and drew it free of the display. "How hard can it be?" she asks with bravado. "You know there are monsters out there besides irate ponies, and the monsters usually can't just be talked to nicely."

I imagined Fluttershy instantly. If she was there, surely she could talk to most of the monsters nicely. A pity she wouldn't be born for centuries... Maybe never, if I didn't do my part.

That's when it hit me. I literally had a destiny. It wasn't given to me by some cutie mark or angry god from on high. If the future I had seen came to be, which I hoped had to happen, it meant I had to not mess up. But then, did time travel work that way? I could be in a separate probability-based dime--

"Ian," hissed Easy, interrupting my inner monologue. "Weapons?" She waggled a sword in my vague direction. "You have hands, it should come naturally."

Was that racist? Still, I reached over and tried a sword. The moment I lifted it, I knew swords were heavier than I imagined them being. I'd have to build up some upper-body strength, or use a smaller weapon than that one. I doubted I'd put on that much muscle quickly enough to matter, and set the blade where it started.

"She's a beuat," spoke the blacksmith mare. "Why don't you try giving her a swing?"

The sword was female? I supposed you could ascribe whatever gender you wanted on an inanimate object. Still... "It's a bit heavy for me. What would you say is the next step down."

Her horn glowed as she snatched up another blade and thrust it towards me, hilt-first. "Try this one."

It was shorted and slimmer. I could have called it a 'short sword', but that didn't really say much. Still, I wrapped my right hand around it. The magic holding it up faded and I was left holding the naked steel. I swung it experimentally, and it felt... about right. I could move it without feeling like I was fighting the momentum too badly.

"I don't want to use this," I noted.

The mare nodded. "I'm glad to hear you say that, no one should. Still, sometimes you have to."

Easy slipped between us and began the haggling. Soon I was the... proud?... owner of a weapon. It even came with a belt loop and sheath to hold it in. Easy got one for herself as well. "Poor Work doesn't strike me as much of a fighter." She turned away from the display. "I think we're ready."

"And you are?" I mean, really. Easy did not strike me as the sort.

She shrugged. "I don't want any filthy things putting their various parts on me. I'll fight if I have to, or run. Running is also an option..." She pointed a hoof at the wagon. "But we'll be carting our supplies around, which makes running less an option."

And so we wheeled back to the castle. The guards were eyeing the wagon. "That can't come in," stated the one one the left in firm tones. He pointed to a smaller building. "You can park it in there. No harm will come to it or its contents."

Secured parking? Sure, why not. We had it stabled beside other wagons and retreated for some rest and food.

Which is exactly when Celestia entered the dining hall. Without a word she went around the table and sat down opposite me. She reached with her magic and began serving herself as if we weren't there.

Easy broke the silence first, "Good evening, Your Highness."

Celestia dipped her head towards Easy. "Good evening." Her voice was tired, perhaps after a long day's work. Her eyes went to me. "You're leaving?"

I put it together. All she heard was that I came back from the city looking ready to skip town. She might have been entertaining a thousand theories, few of them pleasant. "I've isolated the root of the problem, and I hope to fix it."

Easy bobbed her head quickly. "We're going to chat with that troublemaking mare and see if we can't talk some sense into her."

Celestia tensed. It was a subtle thing, but I saw it. "Travel carefully, speak carefully. They... have shown themselves willing to harm those who come to speak. Do... not use my name as a shield."

I could imagine that ending up very poorly. "We will come just as who we are, not on the 'behalf' of anyone. Besides, I'm not technically doing this on your assignment. You haven't given me one of those.

She smiled then, a timid expression with some hope. "And I will break that now, I think. You are hereby ordered to not die. You will return safely, no matter the odds. I would rather you come back in failure than not at all. Am I clear?"

No, she was a lovely off-white color, but I spared her my humor. "Perfectly. We aren't going to pick fights."

"But you are armed, both of you." Her eyes moved from my blade to Easy's, despite both being below the table. "I suppose that is... a necessity." She leaned forward, that long neck of hers letting her easily put her nose close to mine. "In that future of yours, do ponies still need swords?"

I hesitated, thinking about time lines and the muddling thereof, it was time enough for her react, "Nevermind. The future isn't for us to see clearly." She turned her head, focusing one eye on me. "It must be a terrible burden, to know what could be, and what is. You... I shouldn't interfere." She raised a hoof to the table. "I will wish you well, and hope that you return with good news on your lips."

She looked to Easy Breeze then. "You. I had... dismissed you, and I apologize for that. You had potential, and he saw it. Protect him. See that he returns safely and I will ensure there is always a place in this castle for you."

Easy thrust up her hooves. "Calm down there, Celly." The princess jerked her head back at the nickname. "I'm his manager, which means I'll keep him on target and schedule." She thumped her chest with a hoof. "I don't plan to mess that up."

"Y-yes, I see..." She dipped her head at the both of us. "Then I will leave you to your preparations. Equestria will wait for your return." She rose to her hooves, metal shoes ringing against the ground.

Now, this next part I wasn't there for personally, but found out later about. Still, I think you should hear about it in this order, so here we go. Let us enter the head of another pony.

I saw Celestia emerging from one of the dining halls. She looked visibly troubled, so I trotted over to offer my services. "Good evening, Your Highness. May I draw you a scented bath, or perhaps--"

"That will not be required, Water Lily," she cut me off before I could finish listing things I could do for her, but seemed to realize something even as she denied me. "You are familiar with Ian Langerman, are you not?"

"I am." I bowed low, as was proper.

"Did you know he was leaving?"

I tried to hold back tensing up. "O-oh? He is? Should I gather his things?"

"I trust he can handle that. He is leaving on a dangerous assignment of his own initiative. It may set Equestria on a better path, or it may kill him."

That was awful! Terrible! I didn't want my precious Ian being battered, or killed! His smooth and warm body was to be adored and cared for... "Oh no..."

She saw the horror in my eyes, perhaps. "Do you care for him?"

I felt heat rushing into my face. "N-not like that! It's just... he'll be so far away from me--" What had I just said?! "I mean... You've seen him too, m'lady. He's naked in a way we never are..."

"Do you fear for him?" I don't remember nodding, but I must have. "Will you watch him go?"

"If I must." I tried to stand tall and proud. "My first duty is to you and this castle, Your Highness. I have not forgotten that."

"And if I assigned you to his wellbeing, you would...?"

"I would serve to the best of my ability." I glanced towards the dining hall she had originally emerged from. "I'm a maid, m'lady, but I could see to his comfort and health? I would do what I could."

"And what more could be asked of any pony." She smiled in that gentle way that I liked. "Go then."

I had permission to go with him? That was... horrible. I didn't want to go galavanting out into the middle of nowhere, and yet... it was my new assignment. I would safeguard him as best I could. "I won't let you down." I bowed low and remained down until Celestia walked past.

I was eating and chatting with Easy about the general route of our trip. We had a map spread between us of current-day Equestria, one of our many purchases.

A gentle cough caught her attention. There was Water Lily, standing at stiff attention. "Good evening, sir, madame. I'll be accompanying you on this task."

Easy burst into laughter, almost toppling from her chair. "Y-you?! Seriously?"

She went red in her cheeks as she clacked her hooves together, standing all the more rigidly. "I will serve you both to the best of my abilities."

I put an arm on the back of my chair, swiveled to look at Water properly. She was putting up a brave front, but she was also shaking. "You really don't have to."

"I've been ordered," she contradicted. "If you refuse me, sir, then I will have to report that I've failed..." She dipped her head a moment, ears spread wide. "I won't be in the way. You won't even know I'm there unless I'm being helpful. I know how to launder clothes, prepare meals, and upkeep cleanliness. Please, sir, allow me to lend my hoof."

She sounded so desperate to go, and yet frightened of the very same thing. I wasn't sure which answer would be kinder to her. "This will be dangerous," I warned, hoping it would settle things.

"I am ready." She let her hooves slide out a little into a slightly more natural pose. "When do we leave, sir?"

It seemed our party had grown.

Author's Note

Did you expect Water Lily to come along? She didn't! What manner of typo has possessed Celestia?

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15 - Descent From On High

After meeting with Work pants, we moved as one larger party for the gate of the city. He nudged up against Easy. "Allow me, miss."

Easy snorted softly. "You think I'm not strong enough?"

"I'm certain you are, miss." He tilted his head faintly. "However, as Mister Langerman's manager, you should be free to consider more important things. I am without rank or title currently."

That line of argument seemed to reach her. Easy wriggled free of the harness and gestured back at the wagon. "Well, you have a title now. Work Pants, quartermaster."

Work inclined his head in a nod. "It is an honor." He wriggled into the harness and got the wagon moving smoothly across the cobbles while avoiding impediments to its progress.

Water walked alongside me, practically hiding in my shadow. I spoke to her, my eyes forward, "Are you alright?"

"Of course, Sir." She swallowed heavily as we approached the gates of the city. "I never... left the city before." She continued despite her obvious trepidation. "I will do my best, Sir."

Easy came in, putting Water between herself and her new boss, me. "Last chance. You could run back to the castle. I'm pretty sure The Big C would forgive you."

"No!" Water flinched away as if threatened directly. "I couldn't... She's trusting me. I will do the best I can." She looked up at me a quiet moment, still trotting forward.

The guards crossed their spears. They were both examining the lot of us and our wagon with their eyes without moving. The one on the right coughed softly before speaking, "Business and destination?"

I hadn't been questioned coming in. "Did something happen?"

"Mm?" The guard shook his head. "Orders are clear, sir. Anyone leaving with appreciable goods is to be checked." He raised a hoof at the wagon. "That looks appreciable."

Ah, so that was the difference. "We're headed to the northeast, hoping to meet some other ponies, see the sights, and maybe return with some favorable answers."

The other pony snorted. "There aren't a lot of good things out that way. You're the new mason, aren't you?"

I hadn't signed the line on joining that guild just yet. "I fancy myself a builder, but this isn't for that. We'll be careful, thank you."

"See that you are." They moved out of the way of us. We passed them and began down the trail that vaguely tried to pass for a road.

The wagon began to shake and wobble as Work got it over the rocks that littered the way. It bothered me that there wasn't enough foot traffic to beat the path down a little more. We had so much to fix. One step a time, right? If I kept getting distracted by thing I could do, nothing would get done. "Holding up alright, Work?"

"It's work, but it's not unreasonable," he assured with dignified composure. His gait became more even, as if walking calmly were a badge of honor he could wear.

Water slowed suddenly, letting Work catch up before her horn began to glow. She drew out a small bit of cloth and dabbed at the stallion, cleaning him of the sweat he had been gathering. "Thank you, sir. I wouldn't handle it as well."

Work blushed at the attention, but accepted it with a quirk of a smile. I wondered if he just liked having a mare fawning on him. I didn't see a reason to begrudge him.

"Don't spoil him," cut in Easy with a soft snort as she trotted ahead. She peered down the mountainside, taking in the vista it offered. We could see the rocky trail carving in a winding path towards the base. "We have quite a walk to get through. On the plus, I did some research before we left. The mountain's pretty safe, monster wise."

That was good to hear. I wasn't particularly eager to pull out my sword and give it a test. "With how steep this is, we'll have some times where keeping the cart from going too fast will be the challenge." I didn't want it to go careening down the hill, taking our supplies, and maybe Work Pants, with it. To that end, I let the wagon catch up and walked alongside it, keeping a hand on its side. At least I could grab it, if need be.

"Too right," agreed Work as he trudged. "I can feel it wanting to go, when a rock doesn't get in the way. Sir, I imagine it would make quite the mess if I wasn't holding it."

So we formed tight ranks, with Easy up front, watching the mountain and looking back to our progress as we slowly descended the mountain. Still, compared to when I first arrived, this was proving to be much easier. Down was just plain easier than up. I was also not alone. They were friends, and I liked their company. Sure, I knew some of them better than others of them.

"Work?" I spoke as we went. "Have you been out of the city?"

"On occasion, Sir." He nodded lightly, only to be dabbed with Water's cloth. "Thank you. My building was mostly limited to within Canterlot's walls."

That reminded me. "Were you in the guild?"

"I've been in a few, Sir." He guided the wagon around a small boulder as he walked. "Do you mean the Construction Guild? Surely I was. One couldn't work with the masons without being a part of their order. It just wouldn't do..." He slid on some pebbles that gave away under his weight, but a quick grab kept the wagon from running him over. "I'm alright." He regained his stance and resumed walking. "Why do you ask, Sir?"

Easy looked over her shoulder. "If you were in the guild, how'd they just let you become a bum on the street? What kinda guild is that?"

That was close enough to what I was driving at. I just looked to Work to continue.

"I wasn't... happy just taking my easy out, and there were the political troubles, I will remind." He craned his neck to look up at the sky and the sun that worked through it. "Mmm, I've grown spoiled by the town clock."

I pulled out my phone and checked. It was getting close to noon. "Just about noon. We can take a break?"

"Gladly." He veered to the left and ran the wheel of the wagon against a larger rock, parking it firmly.

Even as he wriggled free of the wagon, Water came trotting up to me with a little smile. "Lay down, Sir. I'll massage the tension away."

I sat down on another rock, there were plenty to choose from. "Thanks... for the offer." Apparently 'thanks' was keyword for 'sure!' since I felt her magic start gripping at my shoulders and down my legs, squeezing at the muscles that had worked the hardest to get us that far. She wasn't bad at the job. Part of me wanted to just roll with it. It was why she was there, right?

A valid excuse came to me. "Work looks like he could use your treatment a lot more than me. He was the one pulling the wagon."

She glanced towards him. "... Yes, I suppose being all... furry... would make this harder." She turned to him, her magic fading from me. "I'll be back."

Easy hopped up onto the wagon and she plucked a few small bundles and a water skin from the supplies. "Eat up while you can." She floated down the preserved food into the reach of each of us.

It was only then that I realized we were a party that all had effective fingers. I held my food and water in tricky human hands. The others all had theirs floating beside them, grasped in equally tricky unicorn horns. That made some things a lot easier.

The food was a simple fare of what tasted like dried corn and mashed potatoes ground together with a collection of nuts and seeds. A sweet sappy stuff held it all together into a sort of granola that was easy enough to bite chunks off of. Just a dash of salt added some savory hints and bring out the subtler flavors of the blend.

The drink was simpler, being just water. It was cool as the mountain breeze, that being the effective room temperature of the moment. I didn't have anything against water. Hunger defeated, I folded up the cloth the food had come in and tucked it back in the wagon.

Easy watched me with a cocked brow. "We're already in the middle of nowhere, you could just drop it."

"Could, but why make a mess?" I wanted to help fix Equestria, not be some small source of pollution and filth.

My actions seemed to inspire the others, and soon their cloths joined mine, to be brought with us, even if they didn't hold food anymore.

Water Lily trotted back to me. "It's your turn."

Easy saved me from having to shoot her down. "Let's get moving!" She moved under the harness before Work could get there. "I'll take a turn."

Work inclined his head towards her. "Very well. I'll assume the duties of scout then." He trotted up ahead, looking across the mountain.

I liked that. The way I saw it, they were coming to a sort of equilibrium. They were a team, my team, and were sharing duties. That was good. Maybe they'd even become friends? I felt a brush against my pants leg and saw Water was walking alongside me. "Sir, we need to talk, when we set up camp for the evening." She trotted past me then, not waiting for a reply.

Something to look forward to? I shook my head and pulled out my phone. The GPS didn't work, which was no huge surprise, but the map did. It was how I found my way to Canterlot in the first place. It being on the biggest mountain around helped, to a point, but it wasn't nearly as golden and shiny as it was in the cartoon, yet.

I pinched and zoomed around, finding ourselves. It didn't give us a marker, and certainly not one that moved around. GPS was out, remember? But I could find Canterlot on it, and could follow the way down to where we slowly descended the mountain. It looked like the road meandered down, becoming more and more snake-like on its way towards the base of the mountain.

"What are you looking at?" Work was walking alongside me at an easy clip-clop. "Is that a magic device?"

I mean, it basically was. "Yes, from my original homeland." I turned it towards him, so he could see the map too.

He turned his head, directing one eye at it instead of trying for a stereo view of it. "Fascinating. That is quite an intricate painting of the mountain, Sir. Did you make it? You have more talents than I would have credited, I admit."

A painting? I suppose one could see it from that angle. "I didn't. Really, I'm not sure what did. It wasn't there before I left my old home." My phone was a collection of mysteries I really needed to dig into some day... "But why complain? It has good maps of most of Equestria, provided we can keep track of where we are on it."

"I certainly wouldn't," he agreed with a flick of his tail. "I should imagine you could sell that artifact for quite the tidy sum of bits."

Easy snorted loudly. "I heard that! One, that's from his home, his original. I doubt he wants to give it up. Two, it's tricky to use."

Tricky to use? "How do you know that?"

Water pounced on the chance with a triumphant smile. "I was not the only one to give into curiosity, I see." She leaned in towards Easy as she pulled the wagon. "It's alright, we forgive you."

Author's Note

Water feels vindicated! But who put these maps here? Can they be trusted to not have typos?

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16 - Day One

The party of us descended from Canterlot. When we reached what seemed to almost be a road, things became measurably easier. Sure, we had to go back and forth along it instead of going straight down the sheer cliffside, but the way was mostly clear and the wheels of the wagon did so without complaint. The winding road was also angled down at a mild angle, keeping the wagon from actively trying to run down the pony pulling it.

The cry of a distant bird drew my eyes. It looked like some kind of hawk, descending from the sky and snatching a mouse with the poor sense to be out in the middle of the day. It would be its last mistake.

Were we mice, scurrying out from the safe little hole that was Canterlot? Did we march towards the hawk or cat or innumerable other predators, waiting to pounce on us and teach us a lasting lesson about survival? The thought did not bring me ease of mind. "Easy."

"Yeah, boss?" She looked aside towards me, pulling the wagon as she was. "Let me say, glad we didn't go for the cheaper model." She wriggled her shoulders as she walked. "This is hard enough, imagining the base model, mmm, no thanks."

"Glad that's working." I hopped up onto a medium-sized rock as if the vantage point would allow for insights. It didn't. "What kind of monsters are we looking forward to on this trip?"

"When'd I become the expert?" Her eyes darted to the two other ponies up ahead. "Right, I kinda am..." She quirked a smile, pressing on without delay. "We're not headed towards my old town, so I can't say absolutely for sure. First thing that comes to mind, ponies."

What? "Seriously?"

"Not happy to say it," she grunted as she pulled the wagon. "But I did some digging. This stupid war has everything out of order, which means ponies not doing what they should be doing, which means ponies doing what no pony should be doing. If there aren't some brigands on the road, I'll be surprised." She glanced back at the wagon. "And, look at me, I'm pulling a big target behind me. Tell me you have some amazing magic to help keep us safe?"

What, like a gun? I had not brought one of those, and turning it on a pony, even a mean one, sounded like an awful thing to do. "Monsters we fight or flee. A pony, we flee if we can, or we give them what they want."

Easy's brows lowered, glaring at me flatly. "That's your plan? And if they want a pony or two to go along with everything else, we just hoof them over and wish them a nice day while we're at it?" Her eyes went to Water Lily, walking a short distance ahead. "They'd snatch her up first. Is that what you want? Letting some poor maid that's fallen for you get dragged away?"

Christ. I wasn't a fighter... "We'll just have to be smart about it and not get into that situation in the first place."

"Let's do that then." She pulled ahead slightly, hastening despite the burden she drew along with her.

That was when what she said echoed internally. Pretending I didn't know wasn't really doing much. Water did have some kind of thing for me. What did I think of that? It was time to answer that instead of pointedly trying not to think about it. Then again, she may not have a thing for me, as a person. She loved my silky smooth skin and the way I walked around without much fur at all. She'd probably squeal with delight if she ever met a dolphin... or an elephant, come to think, but an elephant's skin was roughter, right?

I almost tripped over a rock, thinking such stupid thoughts while I was walking. I pulled out my phone and unlocked it. It was becoming late afternoon. The sky was starting to change colors in warning of evening and night after that. I recalled that when Celestia got to work, evening became night rather quickly compared to the more leisurely affair that had been earth sunsets.

"We should find a safe place to camp," I announced, looking around a moment before I turned back to my phone. It had a map, right? I squinted at the glowing screen, trying to pick out a decent site as we went, but before I could find a spot from the satellite pictures that had come without a single actual satellite, Work raised a hoof.

"Over here." He stepped off the curve of the road and slid down a gentle slope to a little nook of flat land off of the road. There were faint signs that a fire had been set there some time ago. Perhaps others had used it as a pitstop. Perhaps it was even a popular resting point for those coming or going from Canterlot. Whatever the case, he had found it.

"Good job. Easy, can you get the wagon in there?"

"Already on it." She took a slow step down off the road and half-slid down, having to backpedal a bit wildly to stop herself and the wagon once they were at the bottom. "And... there," she said as if she had planned the entire thing.

Water trotted up alongside Easy and pulled the harness free with her magic. "You must be tired. Rest, I'll get dinner ready."

Easy stepped free of the harness, eyeing Water oddly. "Um, thanks? I mean, we're not cooking dinner, so there isn't much to 'get ready', right?"

Water shook her head with a little smile. "There are always ways to make things better. It is my job to lessen the burden that you have all accepted in the name of Equestria." She circled around to the back of the wagon. "You're all very brave. I'm sorry that I can only do so little, but I will do it."

Easy sank to her belly close to where the remains of a firepit were. "Should we get this going?" She pointed at the bits of charred wood. "Or are we trying to be subtle?"

We were in a sunken nook, partially out of sight. That was good. "If we gather the wood but wait until after dark to light it, it won't be easy to see, especially from downhill."

Work finished a long stretch even as he started trotting. "I'll fetch some wood, sir. We won't want for that."

Easy looked to me, some curiosity in her eyes. "You know how to light fires?"

That. That was a trick I was ready for. I dug out a lighter and made sure it looked to be in order. "I'll get the fire going once the time's right, no problem."

Easy cracked a smile from where she sprawled on the ground. "I had a feeling you had another trick, when you told me not to get a firestarter. Can't wait to see it work. Your people are good at magic." She rolled over onto her side. "Almost as good as a unicorn, almost."

"Your drinks are served." Water approached with a tray. She had several cups filled with liquid balanced on it instead of sharing a water bottle. She brought it to each of us, it floating beside her. I reached for a cup, but the tray swiveled, putting another cup in reach before I could grab the first I had set eyes on. "Each cup belongs to a specific pony," she explained as she trotted towards Easy. "Here you are."

Easy lifted her cup with her magic and took a sip with a satisfied sigh. "A little water goes a long way." She watched Water trot back around the wagon. "Why cups, though? We could share from the skin just fine."

Water shook her head. "We could, but having one's own cup is a small comfort, and allows you to drink as quickly, or slowly, as one wishes without feeling as if they were slowing others from reaching the water." She set the tray down, Work's cup still parked on it.

I couldn't argue the logic there. "I hadn't thought of that." I mean, there were hygenic reasons to want to avoid sharing the bottle around, but the social reasons hadn't even occurred to me. It was nice having my own cup, now that Water had made me think about it.

Water rummaged through the supplies quietly before I heard her make a pleased sound. "Mmm, here." She emerged from the back of the wagon and approached with that tray. There were no cups on it anymore, instead the food packets were spread out tastefully. "Here you are, prepared specifically for you."

How true could that be? I took one of the packets even as I wondered. It smelled different than the one we had for lunch. Unwrapping it and giving it a taste, I found it was a mix of several berries mashed together. Was that peanuts? Crushed and mixed in it, it was like a peanut butter and jelly concoction, with some sweet herb that brought out a secondary flavor that lingered on the tongue. It remained in a brick shape, hardened and mostly-dry. Ponies did treats well, I was quite certain, as I chewed on the dinner. "Anyone see Work?" I didn't want any of us being out of sight for too long.

Easy started to stand, but Water set a hoof on her back. "Allow me, miss. He needs his meal as well." Water trotted off, carrying her tray with two more food packets on it. One, I presumed, was for herself.

Once Water was gone, Easy looked to me. "She's trying, at least."

I hadn't doubted she would. "You don't like her, I assume?"

Easy wrinkled her snout. "She's a maid, she snooped through your stuff, and she's a maid. Did I mention she's hot to trot around you, mister big shot?"

"You are, or were, a performer, and you have also snooped through my things." I smiled at Easy gently. "We've all come from backgrounds that have nothing to do with what we're doing now."

"True..." She stood up and began to stretch. "True... Maybe I'm being too worked up about it. Look... This is a big deal, to me." She faced me directly. "This is my first real job, and I want to keep it. That means doing it right, which also means not letting anyone else mess it up for me, you know?"

I wanted to pet her just then. I wanted to hold her and stroke her until her worry was worked away. Gah, she was still a pet in my eyes, even if it was one I was pretty sure I cared about.

So what if I did? I mean, I wouldn't mind someone caring about me half as much. And that is when I realized I did have exactly that. In Water's eyes, I was just the same. I was an amazing thing she dearly wanted to hold close, keep safe, and adore. Every denigrating thought I had towards Easy, she had towards me. It was karma, coming back with extra speed.

I should either quit thinking of Easy that way, or accept Water, or just be a lousy hypocrite forever. "Easy, what do you think our odds are, honestly?"

"Mmm? Well, if we get off this mountain without accidents, we have a few days of hiking ahead of us before we reach anything that could be confused with a town. I'm not so worried about the towns, just the places between them." She came closer and sat down next to me. "If we try to run, whoever is pulling the wagon at the time is going to be the one that's caught, just to remind you. If you care about us, really care, then you won't run."

That put a razor edge on that thought. Running meant sentencing one of them to pain or worse.

Author's Note

This chapter did not get to what I had in mind when I started. Am I going too slow, or is the journey itself enjoyable? Please let me know either way, lest there be typos.

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17 - Dismount

That evening, after a full day's hike down the mountain, we were ready to sleep. My thoughts tumbled around, keeping me awake as I gazed at stars that were not what I had been raised with. I couldn't find the Big Dipper, or Orion's belt, or the North Star. A pony would know a bunch of their own heavenly placeholders, likely, but I wasn't one of those.

A warm presence settled down beside me. Water Lily nestled in, but didn't touch, beside being against me. I was quiet, and so was she. I could hear her breathing softly, just... there.

It was a test. I felt certain of that. I would either scold her and tell her to go away, and she would, and never dare approach again. Or... I could welcome her, and she would be happy. She didn't speak. I imagined she was terrified, waiting for me to shoo her away.

Ah, heck. We were both adults. I just had to make a decision. She knew what I was and was obviously alright with it. Frankly, the idea of hugging a pony was not a repugnant one. In some ways, she was a reflection of a good Equestria. She knew no violence, and would be horrified to be subjected to it. She was a speck of innocence in some ways.

I turned in a roll, facing her. She was facing away, her back against me. I reached in the dim light and put an arm around her, brushing through her soft fur. I drew her back, into my embrace and held her. I could feel her tense, her breath catch, but she didn't flee. It was, I realized, a test that ran both ways. If she had fled, I would have never again dared.

But she didn't flee, and neither did I. I held the mare gently and nuzzled into her strong neck. She murmured something, and it sounded happy. I hadn't meant to, but I fell asleep. Perhaps the day had taken more out of me than I had given credit for.

When I woke up, she was gone. I sat up and stretched even as I looked around. It was already quite bright. There wasn't much of a sunrise, just as there wasn't much of a sunset. Celestia grabbed the sun and yanked it right past those moments all too quickly. It was a little sad, to think ponies really didn't get to savor those moments.

Come to think... I looked over at Easy, who was pacing about the campsite. "The sun seems to move on its own most of the day, why does it need help during sunrise and sunset?"

She hiked a brow. "Is that really the first thing on your mind in the morning?" She tossed over a water skin with a flick of her neck. "Have a sip, and let's get moving. We have everything ready to go."

Work stepped under the harness and rose into it, accepting the burden of the wagon. "Would you like something to chew on as we go? You're the last to awaken."

They had already eaten? Such was life. I climbed to my feet quickly. "I can eat while we walk." It wasn't as if I was pulling the wagon. My descent was, relatively, easy. I spotted Water. She was fetching a packet for me and came at a smooth but rapid pace. "Thank you." I took it and didn't resist. I ran a hand over her head, tussling her mane a little on the path.

She smiled brightly and bowed. "As pleases you." And she trotted off with a bounce in her step.

We resumed our journey, pushing on down the mountain. We reached the snaking road and it became easier, but slower. The road was shallow, but long. Easy trotted up beside me. "So, you made up your mind? She any good?"

Did she just ask what I thought she asked? "We cuddled," I said as if that was some kind of ironclad defense and felt absurd for saying it almost instantly. "Anyway... yes, I did make up my mind."

"Good." She looked up at me as she went forward, a feat made easier with her wide and large pony eyes. "She came here for you, it's pretty obvious. You could do worse, as mares go."

Work softly chuffed as he pulled the wagon. "To think, some foreign, if well-mannered, stallion should have more luck than I. The fates are strange indeed."

Easy waved off the complaint. "You have plenty going on for you, you just need to stop being a vagrant, and you're starting that." She pointed up at me, somehow walking on three legs. That... shouldn't really work, but somehow they managed. "He's giving you a job. With that, you get bits. With that, you get security, then the mares will come knocking. You have the rest down fairly well."

"The rest?" he asked, his eyes wandering over the mountainside even as we traversed it. "Whatever do you mean, miss?"

Easy shook her head. "You have a good voice. You're strong enough. You're a literal noble, even if you're down on your luck at the moment. You've been nice, so far I've seen, polite. There's plenty there for a mare to like."

His cheeks darkened, but he didn't argue her. He just focused on pulling the wagon.

I felt a furry presence brush against a leg from behind. There was Water, walking alongside me. I felt something bump against a hand. She was offering a cup of water, held in her magic. I accepted it with a curl of fingers. "Water."

"Yes," she said, as if answering a question.

I realized she thought I was asking if it was Water, instead of speaking her name. "I meant you. Thank you." She had been quite brave the night before. Was it my turn to show some initiative? I decided it was. I reached with my free hand and brushed a few fingers gently along her expressive ears, making them dance at the ticklish dance. "Do you know..." Of course she didn't.

She was a maid. Why would she have any real technical knowledge? Still... It wasn't impossible. Maybe she had hobbies? "Sorry, do you have any hobbies?"

Water laughed gently, and airy sound. "What a thoughtful stallion you are, already eager to learn more about me." She bumped against me lightly. "I like that. When I am not serving, I fancy myself a bit of a botanist, sir. I like learning about different flowers and herbs and what they are used for and how they live."

That wasn't a useless skill, I quickly decided. She could have had a doll collection, or enjoyed opera shows, neither of which would be helpful on our little journey. "That's great, actually. Do you know any plant that can help with soreness?"

"Several," She replied with a smile. "I've collected some as we walked, sir. I'm ready to treat anyone who feels ill." She nodded softly. "I like the way they look, sir, but it's also useful. When someone says they have an upset stomach or they can't get to sleep, I can fetch them a cure from the garden and ease their pain."

Easy suddenly laughed. "Look at that. I was wrong about you, Water Lily, that sounds useful."

Water's happy expression was clouded by the briefest frown. "I endeavor to be useful, ma'am..." She veered off to be closer to Easy, navigating the few rocks that could get under hoof along the way. "I know you do not entirely trust me, ma'am, but I have already sworn to do right. I will do my utmost to keep you all comfortable and safe."

Easy hiked a brow at her fellow mare. "Comfortable I can see, but safe?" She shook her head and closed her eyes for a few steps. "An adept massage or a fetched glass of water is not going to turn bandits or monsters away."

Water's magic brought over a dallop of something and tapped it against Easy's nose. "So you say."

Easy stopped dead in her tracks and hoofed at her nose. "Ack, what is it?!"

"It will keep mosquitos and other pests at bay." Water nodded confidently. "They are small monsters, but I will turn them away."

Easy hopped back to her hooves and hurried to catch up. "Warn a mare before you go tapping her nose with something. It stinks!"

Water shook her head. "It's a quite pleasing floral scent."

"Yeah, sure, until it's practically shoved into your nose." Easy quirked a half-smile. "Just warn me before you do that next time, all I ask."

The dollop hovered over towards me, cradled in Water's magic. I put out a hand. "Put it here, and I'll spread it myself. Thank you." She obediently set some down on my waiting palm for me to apply at my own speed.

Work didn't object when Water applied it to him last. "Thank you, miss. I think they know which of us will flee the least quickly."

I shouldn't have thought that. Water was the last one, dealing with herself only after everyone else was taken care of. "The scent is quite nice, but not to most insects. They will not land on the plant it comes from. That is how I found it. It protects itself from their hunger, and protects us just the same."

Easy shook her head a little. "If only there was one that manticores didn't like the scent of." She moved to the edge of the shallow road, her hooves crunching against the loose rocks. "It feels like we'll be winding on this road forever."

Work approached her, standing on the edge of the road. "We could risk going the short way, miss? If we can keep the wagon under control, it would be significantly faster."

I came up on the wagon from behind and dared giving one of the corners a pull upwards, testing its weight. It was pretty heavy, but glowing unicorn magic grabbed it on the far end, pulling with me. It lifted just barely. Work's horn glowed even as he squirmed free of the harness and he picked up a corner.

It began listing to the side. Easy waved at Water. "Grab the last corner!"

"O-oh!" Her horn lit up and she grabbed the last corner. "I didn't realize. Sorry..." She looked ashamed of her lack of foresight. "This is not too bad, with all of us."

It wasn't. It wasn't light, but it wasn't too heavy either. "Let's try shortcutting." Going downhill, I felt we could do it. This would not work coming back.

We left the road, half-sliding down the rough mountain side. We hit the next snaking of the road quickly though. If the wagon had been rolling, it would have been dangerous, but we could keep our footing if we proceeded carefully, and we kept the wagon up off the ground along the way. The base of the mountain suddenly didn't feel nearly as far away.

I cheered. It was a silly thing. We hadn't overcome any huge obstacle, but still, I felt triumph. "We can do this. Let's cut a few days off our trip." They all nodded, and we hurried forward, buoyed by our moment of cleverness.

By the time the sun was threatening to sink again, we had passed the winding road. The mountain has become foothills. We had officially dismounted the resting place of Canterlot. We were approaching a thick forest. There was a lone half-road that cut through it, where other brave souls had traveled. Of course, in other directions, there was no forest, but those were not directions that lined up with where we wanted to go.

We set up camp there within sight of the forest. Easy shook her head quickly. "We need to set watches. We're officially in danger now." She raised a hoof. "I volunteer for first watch."

I raised a hand. "I'll take third. I can get my phone to wake me up at the right time."

Easy tilted her head. "If it can do that, why not have it do it for all the watches?"

That wasn't an awful idea. "I'll do that."

Work nodded. "I'll take middle watch. Sleeping in naps is something I've learned to do."

Author's Note

HAX! Such flagrant cheating. They should be punished for this typo of navigation!

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18 - Forest Deep and Trail Dark

During the night, I woke with a start. Had some monster come to devour us?! Was a raiding party descending on our camp to take everything not bolted to the floor?

No, it was Water Lily, snuggled up tight against me. She hadn't been there before, and she was making unhappy little noises. She was also awake, I was fairly sure. "Water?" I called gently to her, almost a whisper. "What's wrong?"

Work sat up, ear turning towards us. "It's almost your watch, sir. Perhaps providence. Is it alright if I retire?"

He didn't say it, but I felt certain from his voice that he was tired. "Go ahead, I'm up now." I sat up, keeping Water from falling free until I ended up with her head in my lap, her eyes still squeezed shut. "Water, was... it a bad dream?"

"Mmhmm." She cracked open one large eye to look at me. "You're too kind, sir. I just had a little scare and... we... we are a pair, if only barely. I felt safer beside you."

I brushed her warm cheek, feeling the fuzz of her pelt brush back with equal force against the tips of my fingers. "You're fine." I wasn't mad at her snuggling up. "What was the dream about?"

"O-oh, nothing." Her eyes looked away. Ponies were awful liars.

"Clearly something." I scratched gently just beneath her chin. "Pairs share their problems, so go ahead. I won't laugh at your dream, even if it ends up being silly. Dreams are like that."

I heard Work settling down, curling up in his own little ball to get a nap before morning. Water rolled up to sitting on her haunches, looking at me quietly a moment, just the sounds of crickets to keep us company as we watched each other. "We were lost in some dark woods... Easy and Work were gone. We were... running, from something. No matter how fast we ran, it was just behind us."

Her ears spread out in either direction. "You tripped, sir. It rushed to get you, and... I woke up."

"Let's..." I didn't like how that dream ended. "Let's just call that the worst case. We won't go down that path, I'm certain."

"How?" Her eyes sparkled, hoping for reassurance, I surmised.

"Easy." I reached for her, petting gently along her powerful neck. "We won't run. Running means a pony's getting caught. Whoever's at the wagon is being asked to sacrifice themselves for a chance for the rest of us. Even if that ended well, we'd be down a person, and our supplies. I don't want to give up any of you."

Water quirked a little smile. "You barely know us, sir."

"I know enough." I stood up and peered out into the darkness towards the forest that managed to be even darker still. The area we were in was lit by the moon up above, but the canopy of the forest ahead denied that fragile light access, keeping it in the purest of darknesses. "None of you deserve that. We'll make it together, or not at all."

Water swallowed roughly. "Or... not at all." I had failed to comfort her. She glanced towards the others, sleeping as they were. "Sir? If... something should happen, I would like to face it... without regrets."

That had turned more morbid than I had planned. "What are you regretting?" Maybe it was something silly that we could fix.

Her magic wrapped around my hand as she rose up and trotted away from the camp, pulling me along with her. "It is something you can handle well, m'lord."

As it turned out, I was a terrible guard. On the positive, nothing ambushed us, and I grew closer to Water.

As the morning sun began to shine down on us, skipping sunrise abruptly thanks to Celestia's unseen influence, Water trotted around the campsite with a content smile and a bounce in her step. She woke up Easy with a gentle hoof nudge. "Wake up, sleepy head," She said in a happy bidding. "We have a forest to get through."

Easy grunted as she shook out. "What's got you so happy?" She half-yawned, rising to her hooves. Her eyes darted to me and I looked away from her. Maybe I wasn't that much better than the ponies at hiding some feelings.

Easy burst into laughter. "Bagged him, huh? Was he any good?"

Water lit up fiercely and scampered away towards the wagon. "I don't know what you're talking about!" she defended as she went, fooling not a person present.

Easy snickered even as she ran a brush over her mane, taming some of the mess that had come of it from our journey so far. "Good job, boss. Let's see if we can get through this forest in one day. I'd rather not camp out in it."

Prompted, I dug out my phone and quickly had the map up. I ballparked how far we had come, and looked at how large the forest was. "If we can keep going as fast as we have been, it'll take us..." There was no specific tool on the phone to measure arbitrary distances across the map. That would have been too easy. "Probably two or three days?"

Work snorted softly. "This forest didn't look small, sir. Let's have breakfast and get moving."

So we did just that, swapping rations and a water skin. It was time to move. Easy moved to take her turn at the wagon, but Water got in the way. "Allow me," insisted the maid. "We should all take a turn."

Easy's eyes half-lidded with a knowing smirk on her face. "Was he that good?"

Water scrambled into the yoke and got the wagon moving rather than answer that question.

I flicked one of Easy's ears. "Don't tease her."

"Oh, fine, boss. I'll just tease you instead." She thumped against me as we began to hike. "So... Were you face to face with her?"

Oh, by all the gods above and maybe a few below... "We should focus on not being eaten."

Work nodded. "A far more pressing concern than our relations." He coughed softly, moving to walk alongside Water. "I wish you the best, ma'am." He moved away from the blushing maid, giving her space.

Easy hastened to be beside Work. "You can't say you aren't curious."

"I can and will, ma'am. 'Tis inappropriate for any stallion, or mare, to ponder such, all the more so when it brings discomfort." He swiveled an ear towards her. "They will speak what they are comfortable with speaking. We should not press for more than that. What are we, savages?"

Easy sagged a little. "Brutal... I was just having a little fun. Walking isn't that... interesting. The first little 'something' happens, and you want me to just pretend I didn't notice." She looked back at me. "You're not mad, are you?"

It is hard to be angry at a pony for too long, especially with her looking at me with piteous eyes, hoping she hadn't offended me with her nettling. "I'm sure everything went, you know, fine, boss..." She kicked a small rock on the path as we pushed into the forest proper. The calls of birds seemed to pick up from the branches as if they were making note of our entry into their domain.

We let that topic fall off and hiked in relative quiet, watching mossy trees pass by on either side of the narrow trail. Narrow or not, it had seen other wagons and travelers. It was a real trail, which meant our own wagon moved reasonably well. It was mostly flat too, which I counted as a blessing.

Water suddenly hastened, racing to be beside the other two. "Stop!" They did, going still as statues as she pointed up ahead. "A patch of poison joke is infesting the road."

The bright blue flowers were spreading across the tiny trail, from one massive bed of them on the right to another growing patch on the left. I knew what poison joke could do, in theory. What they'd do, in practice, one couldn't know without trying it, and we didn't have Zecora around to fix it, not that she'd be born for hundreds of years. I waved at the mess of dangerous blossoms. "Can we get rid of them? There's only one trail."

Water wriggled free of the wagon harness and circled around to the back. "I think I have something..."

Work sat down slowly. "Do you mind if I inquire as to the nature of this hazzard? I've never heard of 'poison joke'. What's the humor to be found in any poison?"

Easy rolled a hoof. "Maybe it's a joke because you think it's a pretty flower and bam, you end up with a rash everywhere the next day. Ha ha, funny?"

Work raised a brow at Easy. "That hardly seems humorous, ma'am."

Water smiled as her magic pulled a small wooden box from inside the wagon. "Here we are." She popped the box open along a small hinge and lowered it to where she could peer inside. "Oh, don't try to pick them. It takes a very careful hoof to pluck them without getting their powder on you, and that's what causes the problem."

Easy hiked a brow as her magic glowed around one far away from herself. "How powdery can they..." She yanked the flower free and almost invisible, but not entirely, spores spread out in a cloud all around the flower, spreading out in fine tendrils of promised corruption. "Nevermind!" She dropped the flower to thump against the other flowers, sending up smaller clouds.

Water shook her head as she pulled out a small bottle. "We have to cover ourselves with this. It'll protect us from the spores."

I believed in good luck, but... "You had anti-poison joke, just in case?"

Water blinked at me. "It's effective against the spores of many toxic plants, including poison joke." She suddenly smiled. "You sound like you know what poison joke is, sir. You've read about them?"

She popped the cork out of the bottle and approached Easy. "Sit still, please." She began spreading the thin goop all over Easy. All over. Easy squirmed, but allowed herself to be thoroughly coated, as did Work. When Water came trotting up to me, I was not... as eager.

I put out my hand. "I can take care of myself, promise."

She looked a little upset. Had she been looking forward to that? Well, too bad on that one. I took the bottle and got to spreading it over my face and hands and arms and anywhere else that would be exposed to air before giving it back to her.

Water looked at me uneasily a moment before she took care of herself, spreading the goop across the entirety of her form with sweeps of her magic. "We can continue." She was hastily back under the harness and pulling the wagon ahead. "Try not to breathe while you're in the middle of it."

Mutagenic spores? What else would anyone want in their lungs? I took a deep breath, held my nose shut, and plunged ahead. I heard the others pick up to race with me, rushing right through the dangerous patch on through to the other side. The cloud was thick from our, and our wagon's passage, but we didn't sprout any new limbs, and soon emerged on the other end, intact for our troubles.

I moved away from the bed and shook away what bits seemed to want to cling to me. Only once we were about fourty feet down the trail did I finally let my breathe go with a mighty woosh, resuming my gasps for air. "Everyone alright?"

"I'm fine, sir," assured Water.

"No sweat." Easy gave a hooves-up.

"I'm not certain how toxic those things were, sir, but better safe than sorry." Work nodded as he pointed up ahead. "I think I see a clearing beside the trail up ahead. Perhaps it is a campsite ponies use along this trail?"

At least we had somewhere to enjoy lunch.

Author's Note

That could have been worse, eh? The poison joke thinks typos are funny, so watch out for those with all these spores kicked up.

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19 - Teeth that Gnash

The rest of the first day in the forest was poison joke free. It was growing darker, not just with the passage of the day, but also the density of the canopy overhead. We were fully in the hold of the forest.

Work had taken over the wagon after lunch, and I moved to walk alongside him. "Work, do you know what this forest is like by chance?"

He cleared his throat softly. "I am, primarily, a Canterlot pony, but I have heard a few things. This is a wild place, infested with terrible beasts. Ponies proceed in great numbers, which scares many of them away and allows for safe passage."

I glanced around at my 'adventuring party' as it was. "Do we qualify as a 'great number'?" The trail didn't seem large enough to accomodate too many more people at once, though they could stretch backwards if they needed.

Easy shook her head. "I saw the caravans, they were usually bigger."

That wasn't comforting, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other. What was the other option, run back, through the poison joke, and abort the mission? Even if I tried that, it would be dark long before I made it back out. I'd just face the danger tired. "Any of you know any defensive or offensive spells?"

"I can't say I do," easily admitted Work Pants.

Water shook her head quickly. "I know a few spells for cleaning and tidying, sir. That is why we're not walking along with our fur coated in anti-spore cream."

I still had that stuff on my face and arms. I had managed to not even notice that they didn't have the gunk on them. "And you didn't use it on me?"

Easy snickered softly. "You didn't let her put it on, so she probably assumed. Anyhey, I know a few spells." She raised a hoof, her horn glowing and the hoof crackling with fits of electricity. "They're meant to entertain, but if you use them right, or wrong depending on how you look at it, it's better than nothing."

Water's horn glowed with far less electricity involved. She was whisking away the gunk. I could feel the magic peeling it away like a perfect scraper, leaving my skin clear. She worked over my face, then my arms, tossing the spent gunk aside with her magic as her eyes focused on me.

Then the magic went under my shirt, and I could guess where they'd go after that. "That's enough, thank you. You got it all."

Water's jaw set. "You didn't put any anywhere else, sir?"

"Just the exposed parts," I quickly replied, holding up my hands.

Water shook her head, looking worried, but she turned back down the trail and resumed the hike.

Her worry made me worried. "I wear a lot more clothes than the average pony."

She swiveled an ear back at me, trotting along as she was. "That is true, sir, but is it enough to keep spores away? It is not complete coverage... sir, but..."

Easy snorted softly. "So, what does poison joke do? Are we talking rash, feel terrible, or..." She glanced over at me. "Am I going to have to look for a new boss?"

Water shook her head quickly. "It's not lethal!" she squeaked out, face darkening. "Just... I'll keep an eye on you, sir."

Poison joke didn't kill, no, so far I knew. Well, crud, that hadn't been very smart of me. There wasn't anything to do about it though, so we all just pushed onwards, trying to get as much distance as we could. The canopy overhead was getting complete. It was dark, but my phone reported that it wasn't actually night yet. It didn't matter. We couldn't see the sun anymore. The phone doubled a a flashlight, giving some blessed light to press on through.

A piercing howl had us all jump. It sounded like a wolf, and too close for comfort. Was there a distance at which a wolf's howl was alright to hear? Through a computer, I supposed. A second echoed as if replying to the first, making it clear that there was more than one of the things.

This wasn't the Everfree, did it have all of the same hazzards? Of course, this was a wild Equestria, maybe all of the forests used to be that dangerous until they managed to tame most of them save for the one that literally had Discord's seeds keeping it wild and dangerous.

Water shied over to my side. "I suddenly don't feel as tired, sir. We should keep going."

Work swiveled an ear towards us. "While I agree on the urgency of leaving this forest, it's too wide to try to cross without sleeping at least once."

Easy's horn began to glow all the brighter, shedding light even greater than my phone could manage. "Part of me is hoping they show up so we can just take care of them now instead of worrying about them."

As if in reply, the trees to the left of us groaned as they were shoved aside to allow the presence of a great canine figure to surge through them. It was easy to think little of them, there on the screen, with ponies protected with obvious plot immunity.

That timber wolf was big enough to look me in the eyes, and it did, growling deep in its wooden throat as it stalked forward.

I was holding my sword. I don't remember when exactly I had drawn it. It certainly wasn't practice that let me get it out that quickly. I blame pure terror. I grasped it two-handedly, its hilt cool against my suddenly fevered flesh.

I was in a tunnel vision. I had no idea what the others were doing, just me and that massive creature, my heart pounding wildly in my ears.

Water's squeal broke the spell. A second wolf had burst free beside her and was already snapping at her, going for the weakest member of the party. Easy spun around in place and lashed out her hooves, electricity rushing up her legs before impact, bright flashes and sparkles cascading out from her hooves into the tough wood of the beast.

The sound of wood thudding against the ground brought my attention back to my original enemy. The wolf was charging for me. I did what I hoped would help, I swung the sword. It bit into its tough side, sinking in a precious inch. The thing howled in what sounded more like fury than pain, unstopped in its charge.

It crashed against me, its wooden stacks of teeth sinking into my shoulder. Let me note that I had not fought for my life before. The biggest thing I'd been bitten by was a cat, and it wasn't even really angry. That moment was different, very different.

I wasn't thinking about it. Adrenaline and fear had become a heady mixture, thoroughly distracting me from pain. The arm that was pinned against me, pressed between the wolf and myself, thrashed. I grabbed whatever sticks I could feel and wrenched them free even as I brought my free fist in, punching wildly. I wasn't holding the sword anymore. I had dropped it, likely when the thing barreled into me.

I heard... something. It sounded familiar, but the sounds of the wolf and my own efforts were all I could focus on. The wolf was suddenly forced off of me. Work had crashed into the thing's side, knocking it clear of me.

The wolf turned on its new target, baring its wooden teeth that dripped with blood, my blood. I grabbed the dropped sword even as the wolf lunged for Work. My shoulder screamed in agony with every motion, but it was a distant scream, easily ignored in the battle haze.

Work was doing the best he could, kicking out at the hungry animal, but that only bought him a precious moment before a great swipe of wooden claws sent him crashing against a tree with a pained wheeze. The wolf seemed triumphant, following him and maybe ready to grab him and run.

I knew only fury and desperation. I didn't want to lose anyone. I held the sword as tightly as I could and charged forward at the back of the wolf. I didn't trust myself with even trying to swing it at the thing. Its hide was too tough and I was too inexperienced. I needed a strong hit, a deep hit. I ran with the sword straight out.

Time seemed slow, as if I was running through molasses despite the strain I could feel with every stomp on the ground. I was bursting into a dead sprint as if my life depended on it. It did, I realized after the fact. Time suddenly resumed as if making up for lost time. I slammed into the back of the wolf, the hilt of the sword punching me in the gut in a nauseating jab of pain.

However uncomfortable it had been for me, the tip of the sword sank true and deep into the thing's back. The wolf writhed at the end of it before falling to pieces, allowing me and the sword to crash to the ground amongst the collection of twigs and branches.

"Show's on!" called Easy as she spread her hooves out, flames erupting between them into the side of the howling and squirming second wolf. I would have laughed, had I the strength or awareness. She was schooling the second wolf as if she were born to the task.

All I knew was that my moment of immunity had passed. My shoulder hurt. My stomach hurt. I hurt. I needed... a moment. Just a moment.

It all went dark as I slipped from that cruel reality into a more comforting place.

I was laying down, my head resting in the lap of someone, a woman. Her hand was gently brushing my hair as she smiled down at me with both love and care. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"I am." The fight was forgotten. All I needed was that woman.

She leaned in, bending over me for a kiss, but as she drew closer, I realized something was awry. Women did not have big equine ears jutting from the top of their head. Women did not have such big nostrils. She pressed her pony snout to my lips, somehow we were face to face in the logic of dreams.

Her arms were around me and mine were coiled about her in a shared embrace. I could feel her tail twitch against my fingers, reminding me that the creature that I was with was no woman, not a human one anyway. I didn't care, in that way that dreams worked. I ran a hand down her back towards her bottom and that tail brushed all the more easily against me.

I fell over backwards. I wasn't sure what made me do that, but also didn't question it. Dreams rarely had to follow that sort of logic. She fell on top of me, her hooves landing on either side of my head. She was a pony, a specific pony. Water smiled down at me radiantly. "I love you," she whispered.

I grabbed her at the sides, and we began to physically show our love. I was certain, before, I had been wearing clothes, and then I wasn't. Dreams don't have to explain these things.

Her noises were music to my ears, and my own tried to rise to match her, to announce to the world that we were together. She was perfect, and I was a match for her. Even her insides seemed to match my outsides. How did that work, if we weren't even the same species? I didn't question it too hard. Dreams didn't leave much room for those kinds of thoughts. I was her stallion, and she quite willingly was my mare.

Water splashed against my face and I started awake. I had a harsher, but truer, world to face.

Author's Note

We had a howling good time in this chapter. Dreams are where typos are born, so watch out.

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20 - The Scars We Bear

I heard things before seeing anything. Opening my eyes just felt like too much work at that instant. Perhaps I was curious a little as well.

Easy was snickering, I knew her voice. "He thought he knew better than you, and he paid the price for it. Got off lucky if you ask me."

I heard a soft thump and a muttered unkindness from Easy. Work's voice rose with a bit of anger, "he saved me. There can be no question in it. I... owe him respect if nothing else. These injuries." There was a pause, but I couldn't see what he was doing. "He suffered them fighting for us."

Gentle hooves touched on my front. That was the precise moment my brain registered that I was not wearing clothes. That isn't to say that I was exposed to the elements. I could feel a blanket under and over me, but nothing else besides that. The touch had made me think about it, and thus aware. "I wonder how upset he will be... At least he seems healthy despite it," spoke a worried Water, voice filled with a fretting hope.

Easy broke into a second round of laughter. "You should be over the moon itself. Now he can, you know, do things." I couldn't see her, but I could feel her eyebrows waggling suggestively.

I tried to respond, but it came as a groan. I sat up, the blanket flowing from my body, pooling in my lap as I did so. That hadn't hurt nearly as much as I feared it might. I could feel Easy's magic press against me, supporting me. "It's alright," I insisted. "It doesn't hurt."

Flashes of the battle played in my mind. "But it really should... Why doesn't it?"

Water sat down beside me. "You were... perhaps blessed, sir? Your choices from before came back... They saved you much pain, but... Please don't be too upset."

Was I a pony? Was that what it had done? I didn't feel like a pony. I had sat up like a human. A glance revealed very human hands, and a lack of fur on my arms and my chest, while hairy, didn't qualify as pony furred. Did I have a snout? I had to assume not for the instant. I figured I would see a great big muzzle between my eyes if I had one of those.

I tried to wriggle my toes, but they refused entirely to obey me, as if they had fallen asleep, dead to the world.

I must have made quite the face. Water was suddenly coiling around me, her arms wrapped around, her soft hooves pressing. "Please don't be alarmed, sir..."

Work stood up from the fire, turning towards me. "I owe you a measure of thanks, for fighting." He raised a hoof to pat at some bandages that covered his side. "These could have been much worse, I dare say, if you had fled, or froze. Thank you for standing with us."

Easy nodded softly. "I don't suppose you saw me?" She grinned brightly. "I burnt one to a crisp, and took care of the other one you'd knocked over so it didn't get back up and go for a second round. I never really thought about using magic like that. Turns out, I'm a mare of many talents."

Those were all fine words, but they certainly were distracting from what I wanted to know. What had the poison joke decided would be the ideal joke to play on me? I reached for the blanket to toss it aside, but Water's magic wrapped around my hands, pulling them back. I could feel her shivering against me. "Water, your nervousness is only making this worse. Let's just look and get it over with." I mean, there were fixes for it, right? The Mane 6 didn't stay in their joke forms for longer than an episode.

Water drew back, breathing a little heavily, but seeming to be trying to comport herself. "Very well then. If... I don't know what to say, except that none of us here see you as anything but the same person that we wish to accompany."

Off went the blanket, tossed aside. There it was... My legs were pony legs, covered in hair that matched the hair on my head. Soft and thick, it didn't look like I had just gone without shaving. I had pony legs. They terminated in the same hooves that the others always had.

That thick fur poked up a little beyond the belt line, but tapered off into the smoother human flesh beyond it. I thrust a hand under myself as I leaned to the side. I had a tail. It was a thick tail that twitched when I felt it. I could feel me touching it even as I felt it. The sensations from an entirely new limb was more disorienting than I would have given credit for. My brain struggled to map it. I had live with a nice human structure for years, so pardon me for being used to it. It was, I think, a literally biological thing.

My various synapses didn't have this in the plans. Like shoving a new part in a computer, it had to pause and search for drivers, decide how to address the new part, establish communication, and a host of other steps before it dared to actually start using it. Thinking of it like that calmed me a little. I just had to finish booting up my... tail... and it would be alright.

A soft brush pressed against the new tail and began running down along it in slow strokes. "Your tail is well structured, sir." Was Water trying to be supportive?

I wasn't sure how to take that, at all. I was still searching for drivers. I could feel the tail. I could feel it being brushed. The sensation scoured across my brain in odd ways. At first I could just feel the contact, but the resolution seemed to sharpen over time. The tail was coming online, being accepted by my stunned brain.

The connection deepened. Having my tail brushed by someone else was... nice?

Easy suddenly snorted, covering her mouth with both hooves as if trying really hard not to laugh.

Work softly coughed, turning away. "Madame, your attention is... having an effect."

As if the tail and the lack of toes wasn't enough, there rose another hint of the perversion visited on me. Between my powerful thighs was an inhuman projection growing into the flickering light of the campfire. That was not what any human man should have, even if some of them might have daydreamed of it. I had not grown, really. It made me wonder if ponies were fairly equivalent already, though I doubted Work would let me compare. The shape and layout of it had changed.

And that's enough of staring at my... equinity? It wasn't my manliness anymore... I grabbed the blanket and pulled it right back over my shame. "Where are my clothes?" This is exactly what clothes were for! Not having one's parts dangling out was a fine part of being clothed.

Easy was still failing at not snickering as she floated over my clothes. They were slightly stained from the fight, but a lot less than I would have guessed. "You haven't even noticed," she said in a teasing sing-song. "And nobody else here is daring to say it, so it's up to me." She dropped my clothes right on my head.

Which squished something down. I could feel another part coming online slowly. There was only one bodypart that could be up there. "I have pony ears," I sighed out defeatedly. "I'm a damn satyr."

Work dared to peek, then turned as he saw a blanket was covering the objectionable bits. "I can't say I know what that is, sir, but you haven't changed." Oh, the look I gave him. "That isn't to say you haven't changed at all, sir," he hastily added. "I just meant that you are Ian Langerman, leader of this expedition, and that remains true."

Easy hopped up to her hooves. "You're still my boss, boss."

Water began dressing me with her magic. "I am still charged with your comfort and well-being... I apologize for my failure. This was my fault. I should ha--"

"--No," I cut her off, standing up and wobbling in place. Hooves were not human feet. The balance was different and I struggled to regain it, but they were my hooves. "You wanted to protect me. I was the one that was squeamish about it, so this is my fault. Did we make any progress while I was out, or did we camp here?" I turned my thoughts towards the mission. That seemed like a much easier thing to worry about.

Work pointed at the cart. "You rode in it, Sir. We may leave the forest today if we press hard."

"Then let's get going." I was dressed, through basically no fault of my own. My tail gave a soft twitch as I took my first step as if to aid in my injured balance. How did it do that? I reached back there to feel that Water had put a hole in my pants to fit the tail. It seemed tailored, sewn neatly to admit the tail without being a ragged tear in the fabric. "You have many talents."

Water beamed, clearly recognizing that I had noticed her work. "I thought it prudent, sir. I doubted you would cease wearing clothes, even if there's less need for it."

Work was kicking dirt over the fire, snuffing it. "Easy Breeze, get him something to eat. I think he's ready to start moving."

I was. I really was. I took the food that was given to me, but barely paid it mind. I chewed on it absently as I walked, trying to get mastery of walking back. My legs moved in, mostly, the same way. The balance of my hooves at the end is where things were altered. Instead of projecting forward, they were a rounder foot placed directly beneath. "So, how expensive are poison joke cures?"

Water blinked at me with wide eyes. "What do you speak of, sir? They have a cure for this ailment?"

Oh, right. Zecora was not here, nor would be for centuries... Well... "We'll figure something out." I was supposed to be a clever human. If I couldn't figure out something, I deserved to be equipped with a horse's ass. On the bright side... "You all look fine. Water Lily's cream must have worked."

Easy bumped into me from the side. Interestingly, my hooves were fairly good at simply not moving if I didn't want to move. "If you had just let your marefriend finish greasing you up everywhere, we could have avoided this, but it worked out." She pointed up at where my shoulder had been bitten by the wolf by uncomfortably massive stakes. "Your changing fixed most of the damage. By the way, nice work with that sword. Not, you know, subtle or anything, but you got the job done."

Work shook his head as he worked under the harness of the wagon and got it moving. "That is the important matter, in the end. We prevailed, and there were no... losses." He swiveled an ear towards me. "At least, in this case, I understand the thrust of their humor, sir."

"They decided to hurry it along." I stepped up on a log and hopped down, testing my hooves and getting a better grasp of how they worked with the rest of my body attached. "I said this was my home, and Equestria is a land of ponies."

Water sighed softly. "I will mourn your loss with you, Sir..." She glanced away a moment. "Your smooth legs, so silky and..." She huffed softly, clearly upset at their loss. "At least... you still have your hands, those... long and sensitive digits..."

Easy snorted explosively. "Damn, mare! Save it for after the sun goes down."

With a raging blush, Water trotted along beside me.

Author's Note

Our group is emerging from the woods! Ian has suffered the slings and injustices of an unfair world, but he presses on. Is being a pony satyr all bad?

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22 - Building a Better Tomorrow

Our dwelling wasn't a shack. It had three bedrooms, a serviceable kitchen (with a wood-burning stove, and no wood), and even an indoor outhouse, though that did not imply plumbing. It was little more than a hole over a ditch far below, which I couldn't imagine would be at all pleasant for anyone daring to approach it.

Work and Easy got a room each, and Water appeared at my bedside after everything else was settled. I didn't turn her away.

Food came twice a day, in the morning and at night. Water was given in the form of a barrel of the stuff with mugs to serve up individual portions.

Right on time, a knocking came around dinner. Water trotted to the door and had it open with a glow of her horn. "Thank you," she bade without even looking.

"You're welcome," replied a female voice, a mare stepping inside with a soft smile and a platter of food balanced on her back. I knew her. I had seen her, in the visions given to me by psychic grandma. That was the pony that had stood opposed to the royal sisters, come wandering in with our supper.

Was it another test? I felt like it had to be. She wanted another view of us. This was also a great chance for us to immediately react to her, which would reveal things about us. It was also trusting, I decided, or she was very confident in her ability to subdue all four of us if she had to.

"Are you all doing well?" she asked as she allowed the platter to slide off of her onto a small table.

Work nodded towards her. "Apologies for making you go through the trouble, ma'am. I'd be delighted to handle my own chores."

Easy waved a hoof diffidently. "If this is what they want, they get it. Mister slave driver over there doesn't give me days off usually."

She hadn't made the barest of hint of wanting a day off! "Thank you," I said to the mare, trying to ignore Easy's nettling. Should I reveal I recognized her? The thought warred. "You look familiar."

She hiked a brow at me, her eyes sweeping over me with their piercing brown. "Do I? You're much more recognizable. Poison joke, was it?" She wobbled a hoof at my form in general. "What a poor joke. Does it hurt?"

Water stepped partially in front of me like a little mare shield. "I see to his needs."

The mare snorted softly at that. "I imagine you do. It must be trying, being cooped up in here."

None of the other ponies that had come had spoken with us for more than a sentence or two, she was already over that. I decided to take the lead in chatting with her, "It's not too bad, though we'd love to actually be doing things rather than being a drain on the town."

She smirked suddenly. "And you'd rather have your clothes back."

Did I mention we were all naked? For three of us, that was less of a big deal, a fashion mistake at best. I suppose I should be grateful I was a satyr, which meant less to dangle. "That would be nice," I easily agreed. "Clothes aren't against town rules, I hope?"

"Oh, no." She shook her head slowly. "But most of the ponies here can't afford the luxury." She peered at me. "Nor three servants. Nor a wagon and two swords special for a trip... You were quite the successful pony, before you got cursed, hmm?"

She had a point. I could try to weave an elaborate lie... or go with the truth. "I'm an engineer. My projects are being stifled by the unrest in the kingdom. I want to make it a better place, but I can't because resources are going towards it instead of improving the lives of its people."

Her expression brightened, a smile spreading as her eyes darted to the other ponies, but she had me in the center of her sights. "That sounds closer to some truth... I am unfamiliar with this word, 'engineer'. Are you mispronouncing?" She raised a brow at me. "If you are a builder of fortifications, is this not exactly as you would wish? Surely there is plentiful call for your talents."

Did Engineer used to mean that? Crap. "I want to clean the water of ponies and remove filth from their land. I want to attack disease so people can live longer and happier lives."

She sank to her haunches, blinking. She looked to Easy. "You are his 'manager', explain his words."

Easy threw up her hooves. "I help him find ponies and keep track of his schedule. I have not a clue what he actually does except it involves pipes."

Work cleared his throat into a raised hoof. "Regardless, that sounds like a noble ambition."

She slowly nodded towards me. "Since pipes are not involved in anything I would consider an ingineer's--" The word was subtly different from engineer. "--duties, I will assume you are using a new word." She put her hooves on her hips, rising up to stand much like I was. "You're here. How do you plan to resolve things so you can play with your pipes?"

That was a blunt question. "Can we start--" I rolled a hand, as alien as that might be for a pony. "--with what would need to change to make the people here happy?"

She fell back to all fours, peering up at me as if I had grown another head. "Where do we even start?"

"The beginning?" I ventured hopefully. "We're all Equestrians. We want the same thing, in the end, right?"

She gestured towards the floor with her hooves. "Have a seat then." She hopped up on a broad-bottomed chair, facing me. "The basic problem is that of... agency. Ours is being taken from us, by a pretty face in an ivory tower, whispering her sweet lies down to us, comforting and gentle." She rolled her eyes. "She will handle everything, until she dies. Everyone dies, that is the nature of things."

Water looked scandalized. I could imagine her not even having a concept for the unaging Celestia ever passing. If I had my way, she would live for many more centuries at least. Would I be around to see it? "We're talking about raising and lowering the sun and moon?"

She thrusted a hoof at me. "Precisely! Good. I had feared we'd have to start further back... The art of a circle of unicorns controlling the heavenly bodies was almost lost, almost... I found it." She brought her hooves together slowly. "I found it and brought it away from Canterlot, to others. She didn't want us to have it, a secret to a world where she didn't exist." She leaned forward towards me. "And you are not as good at bluffing as perhaps you thought. The idea frightens you, maybe apalls you. What is life without Celestia and her cronies watching over everything?"

Work coughed softly. "Pardon me, ma'am, but I should imagine most ponies would at least wince at the idea."

She glanced towards him briefly. "True... Well, speak your peace then."

I extended a lone finger towards her. "You have me at a disadvantage, miss...?"

"I am Rough Bearing," she said with some pride, sitting up tall. "And you are in my town. I presume you've already figured that part out." Easy and Work both nodded, though Water looked genuinely surprised. "And you are Ian Langerman, rising star of Celestia's court." She smiled wickedly. "Come to quell the rebellion with more of her sweet words. Go on, make your promises."

Well, crap. "I won't."

"Giving up before you start?" She hiked a brow. "That's--"

"--I'm not giving up," I quickly cut in. "I'm not here to spout promises or platitudes. I want to resolve this."

Rough was quiet, watching me a moment before her smile fell. "I think I believe you... That only makes this more tragic. This is not a matter that will be 'resolved' in this room, I should think. Celestia has proven at her own hooves that she and her sister are not invincible. Her sister is dead--" She slammed a hoof down on the table that held the food, rattling the tray with the impact of her sudden violence. "--essence scattered across the moon in a public display of barbarism we can see nightly. If she can die, so can her sister, and with her, we would all be lost. That is the world she is building."

My companions were looking to me. They didn't have any good arguments to forward. "She isn't dead," I said before considering how hard that would be to prove.

"What?" She shook her head. "You can see her grave in the night sky. How can you even imply otherwise?"

I abandoned that. "I don't think you're wrong, mind you. That isn't information that should be lost. Things do happen."

She smiled thinly at that. "Thank you for seeing further than the 'council' ever managed."

"But that doesn't translate into throwing the country into civil war." I slapped a hand down on one of my furry knees. That was a casual reminder that I had those. "That information should be not only allowed but safeguarded, preferably in more than one place."

"More than one place?" She sounded confused at the idea. "What do you mean?"

But I had an answer for that! "If Celestia dies without a backup, what do you fear? What happens if this spell is only in one place and it is lost? It's the same problem, with the same solution. This spell should be in more than one place. It simply has to be. Do you have the only copy?"

Rough's brows furrowed in a frown. "Turning my logic on me, so this is why they can't stop talking about you. Tell me, have you done this to Celestia yet?"

"We've had a few chats," I admitted with a tenous smile. Was that a good thing? "I try to be logical. I'm not in this on any side but making the world better for the people in it. I just wanted to address some large problems in Canterlot, but every step was met with barriers and they eventually led to here and... this." I waved a hand vaguely about. "In the end, I want to get back to building, not fortifications, but--"

"--Enough," she interrupted with a snort. "I will send you back."

Easy cocked a brow. "And the catch is...?"

Rough smiled softly. "I'm sending you with a copy of the spell. You'll display it in court and explain exactly what it is and what it's for. Their response will be enough of an answer to this gesture. I am also sending some of my ponies with you." She pointed at me. "Don't need more... accidents... do we?"

Water sat up suddenly. "We're free to go?"

Rough waved a dismissive hoof. "You're hostile agents, as reasonable as you may be. I gain nothing having you around, and spilling your blood across the ground just makes me into the monster they assume I am."

That was a phrase I had heard before. "We're all ponies." Well, I wasn't, technically? "We want the same thing. I don't think most of them want to fight you."

She hopped down from her chair and moved for the door. "Show them the spell. That will be proof enough. I don't expect much."

"Wait! One thing." She turned at my outburst, looking tired. "Just a small thing." I held two fingers close together. "On the day of the first conflict, when the council was there, and you were there. A spear was thrown, from your side, or so I'm told. That was the start--"

Her expression became a mask of rage. "Is that what they say!" She turned to face me, shivering with obvious fury. "That we hurled the first stone?! Not a single pony in my army threw that spear! Show them the blasted spell and begone!" She banged on the door and it opened instantly, allowing her out with an angry grumbling all the way down the stairs.

Author's Note

A new month, time for new chapters! Idly, thank you to the patrons that keep this story going! What do you think of Rough Bearing and her place in all this?

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23 - There and Back Again

Our cart was not returned, but a new one rolled out. It wasn't being pulled by us. One of the local ponies was attached with a serious look on his cute little face. Even rioting ponies were hard to see in a truly imposing light, at least so far as I was concerned.

We had our clothes back, and they even trusted me with my sword again. That was quite the display, I decided. Even if I was untrained at combat, I could cause significant harm if I moved at the right time. Not that I planned to. If they were going to see us back to Canterlot safely, great.

While they prepared for the journey, I hiked a thumb at the house that had been our temporary home. "You know that's a health hazzard, right?"

Rough turned from the pony she had been talking to. "What are you going on about? That's built quite securely, and I don't see a single splinter on the lot of you."

I made a lowering gesture. "Not the house itself, what comes out of it. There's nothing separating the... leavings from everyone else." I could see it clearly once I had come out. The inside outhouse's trench was right by the road. "It's just another way to spread disease."

She looked between me and the problem. "We're worried about making sure the sun rises tomorrow and you're worried about the stink someone makes? Get out of here, engineer." She stressed that part of the word in almost a hiss before pointing towards Canterlot. "Take them, and come back once they're delivered."

We pushed across the hills, a mighty caravan. Things were different. We had enough ponies to keep predators away, and many of us appeared to be combat ready. Food involved more utilitarian dried and tough food rather than the sweeter stuff Water and Easy had selected, but it kept hunger at bay.

The forest seemed far less imposing on the return trip. For one, it was our second time instead of the first. For another, we weren't alone. Even the timber wolves were hesitant to rush at our mob.

"I would have set them on fire," confidently stated Easy as we went.

The poison joke was still there, clogging the path. Our new companions grumbled softly on seeing it. "Guess that wasn't a lie," noted one before pointing into the forest. "Let's carve around it."

They grabbed axes from the wagon and hacked free a new path with surprising swiftness, working their way around the patch of blue trouble. Could I even be affected again while I was under its curse? I wasn't sure, but the possibility of it finishing the job wasn't 0%, so I opted against tempting fate.

I liked my fingers, damnit.

We made it past without any puffs of spores that we could see and pushed on through the forest.

When it came time to climb the mountain, there were no shortcuts. We didn't try scaling it directly. It was follow the windy trail back and forth, slowly but safely. That felt like the theme of this return trip, slow but safe. There wasn't much adventure in it, but we were making it in one piece. On some level it seemed almost disappointing, as if the first trip were lessened somehow.

But that was just me being silly. The first was still just as dangerous, even if the second was routine.

When we crested the mountain and Canterlot came into easy view, Water looked the most immediately happy. "Home," she sighed out, trotting forward, her eyes locked on the castle we could all see.

An arrow landed just in front of her, bringing her to a sudden halt. Ponies stood with bows planted into the earth. The one that had fired the first was drawing a new arrow to load as more melee guards galloped out to meet us. "That's far enough," declared the first to reach us. "Quite bold of her, sending an attack directly on Canterlot."

"Hold it hold it!" I put up my hands. "I am Ian Langerman and I'm returning with news for the council. They were just seeing me here safely, nothing more."

The guard inclined an ear at me. "I don't recall Mister Langerman having hooves..." Still, his eyes wandered past to Easy, Water, and Work. "You must have some story to share. Head inside, we'll deal with these."

Work shook his head quickly. "I'm afraid I cannot accept that, Sir."

Easy rolled her eyes. "Much as I'm looking forward to not camping out, yeah, let them go."

The ponies that had guided us this far were watching, but weren't reacting, not directly. I had expected them to reach for weapons or break into a run, but they were being remarkably patient. I gestured at them. "They're just going to turn around and go home. No one has to fight today, and hopefully we can settle this whole thing."

"They are criminals, Sir." He squinted at the lot of them. "Hostile insurgents, in fact."

I shooed at our escort, waving them away. "They're going home. If that was the wrong thing to do, I'll be strung up for it at court, which is where I'm going anyway."

They turned back and began the slow descent down the mountain, leaving us behind with our own troubles to deal with. The guard snorted in a uniquely equine way. "I will be reporting this, Sir. We could have gotten valuable intel from them." He turned to the castle and the other ponies that were standing down. "This way. I'd put you under arrest but, as you said, you're already going to the right place."

Work hastened to be at my side as we entered Canterlot-proper. "If it helps, Sir, I agree. It would be a very poor showing to arrest them just after they did us a favor."

Easy strolled up along the opposite side. "Besides, if we can call this whole thing off, even better, and what's the point of jailing people then? You do have a plan for that, right Boss?"

Oh, sure, plenty of plans... Or maybe just one. I planned to show off that letter and argue their case for them.

"You're back?" asked a familiar elderly voice. "Ah, yes, there you are. And in one piece."

That made me think about what the poison joke had done, which was apparently enough for psychic grannie to get a whiff. "Oh. Mostly, at least. Tell me you've come with a miracle and they've surrendered."

Not so much, I silently thought to myself. You'll find out with everyone else, tomorrow, in court. It's already too late for today.

"You'll keep me waiting? I suppose I can stand this much..." Her presence seemed to fade, my thoughts becoming my own.

We were being given an escort. The guards nudged anyone else not fast enough about getting out of the way free of the street as we proceeded right up to the castle. It was also a good chance to experience the ripe stench of the city. It was the weeping sore that pointed at the troubles that faced the kingdom. A lot of it could have been solved without a fancy new sewer system.

But they weren't getting a sewer system, or even clean streets. I wondered how it was affecting the other cities of Equestria. Images of an old-timey version of Manehattan jumped into my mind. Did it even exist yet? I'd have to get a current map of the kingdom to be sure which cities were actually there or not.

That wasn't helping us at that specific moment. We ascended the stairs to the castle and the guard that seemed in charge turned to us, pointing at Work Pants. "Mister Langerman will call for your presence, presuming he isn't clapped in irons."

Right, he wasn't officially in my employ anymore. "One moment, I do owe him payment." I dug out the money that had been trusted to me and ... How much was he owed?

Easy seemed to read my indecision without words, trotting up and taking the bag in her magic. "Standard pay per day, plus hazzard." She started piling bits up in front of Work in neat rows. "And a tip." She placed down a larger denomination bit to end it all. "See you next time, right?"

Work folded an arm across his chest and dipped his head, ears going low a moment. "It was a pleasure to walk at your sides. I trust we will do it again, once this distasteful business is comfortably behind us." He gathered his bits in his magic and squirreled them away into his shirt and that pocket that ponies had. "Good luck, all of you."

We left him behind and entered the castle. Water Lily inclined her lead to the right. "I should resume my duties, Sir, Ma'am. I'll visit when I can." She smiled brightly, if a little awkwardly. The guards didn't stop her from moving quickly down a hallway to join the other maids in the upkeep of the castle.

Our little adventuring party was being stripped away. It was just me and Easy, back to where we started, in our room. The major difference being that we were told to stay there and not leave until it was time for court.

"You really stepped in it," noted Easy, seated on her bed on her belly, watching me. "Is that paper supposed to change it all?" Her eyes darted to where I was hiding it. "Do we even know it's the right spell?"

No. "I can't read magic. Can you?"

She rolled her eyes. "That question hurts. Really, Boss. Magic is one of my 'things.' Pass it over."

I drew out the rolled scroll and held it towards her. It glowed in her magic as she pulled it the rest of the way, unfurling it as it came towards her. "Now let's see..." She ran a hoof over the paper, frowning in concentration. "Good news, it's not a little spell." She pulled it more open with her magic. "And... it just keeps going... and going..." She pulled it out and out, unfurling in a grand display.

"This is going to take a while, Boss. No way around it." She sat up, her interest piqued. "I'm on it."

That didn't leave me with much to do. Watching a unicorn study up a spell wasn't going to get me much. I wanted to go talk to Celestia. I wanted to investigate. Who did throw that first spear that launched the civil war in the first place? That felt like an important question, seeing as both sides saw the other side as the agressors and didn't want to back down in part because of it.

"Wow," breathed out Easy. "I never knew the magic word for the entire sun before..." She swept a hoof reverently across the scroll. "This is no... joke." Her eyes raised as if looking towards the sun through the castle itself. "You'd have to practically kill yourself trying... Oh... Is that... wow..." She sank to the bed, looking drained. "Wow..."

"Are you alright?" I moved to the side of her bed with a clop with every step. "You didn't try to move the sun just now, did you?"

"No!" She dropped the scroll suddenly. "No no no! You couldn't pay me enough bits to try! I just got to the core, the sun..." She pointed a quivering hoof at the scroll. "Just reaching that far, pulling that hard... Unicorns were not designed to do... that. It's too much! No wonder, oh, wow, no wonder."

Was she in shock? I put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "Come back to me, Easy Breeze. No one's asking you to cast that spell, promise."

"Y-yeah... I'm just imagining... what it would have been like." She smiled at he oddly, a haunted look. "Imagine taking a boulder and working it up a steep hill in the rain... then do it again the next day, then the next day... And the day after that." Her teeth began to grit together. "No wonder..."

I had no idea Easy was capable of such sympathy, still, it was a daunting task that eventually left unicorns crippled and worthless. "And Celestia does it practically without effort."

Easy thumped against the wall she was beside. "That's literally her destiny. She's also twice as big, and an alicorn to boot. Good on her."

Author's Note

Welcome back to square 1! Are you ready to play New Game +? Ian better not typo in his speech/debate come the morrow. A lot depends on it.

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24 - Court is in Session

It was early morning, pre-dawn. The nobles were gathered in the loose line they formed to get into the still-closed court. We were among them. Though a guard stood nearby, we were trusted to stand in the line without being locked down physically.

The other nobles kept glancing over. They had known me well enough to know I didn't used to have pony legs or a twitchy tail. I couldn't be sure if the change had raised or lowered my appraisal in their eyes. I guessed that the change itself was odd. Most creatures didn't just change parts.

A soft cough caught my attention. Soft Word had snuck up on us. "Do you mind if I cut in with you?"

I waved for him to join us and he did so with a smile. "You appear to have been busy. Are you attempting to go native in a most literal display?" His horn glowed and I felt my tail being gone over, which was an odd sensation. I was not used to things touching that limb I had not had for most of my life.

Easy reached up, casually flicking his horn and banishing the reaching magic. "Keep it on your head. Ask someone before you go touching, seriously. What's up, Soft?"

Soft smirked faintly. "Miss Breeze, you haven't changed." He glanced towards the guard standing across the room, watching us. "You've gained attention, and I imagine the reason for it will be brought to light today. Are you well, minus the obvious?"

Was I? "I think I can put a lot of things to rest today, in theory." I patted where the scroll was tucked away gently. "I have a better understanding of the big picture."

"Good to hear." He put a monocle in place lightly. "They're about to open, and I will root for your success, Sir."

He had called it, the doors opening and ponies strolling inside to take their places. Miss Mason, the guild matron of the builders, bumped against me as she went past. I could see her glancing at me purposefully, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

We took our seats, Easy to my right and Soft perching to my left. They sat up on the bench as a pony might, and I tried to sit the human way, as less comfortable as that was with pony legs. I didn't plan to give up that though, so there I sat.

The council emerged with proper pomp, and they even managed to get through the greeting of the day without descending immediately into arguments. Good for them. Or they were all focused on something already.

The moment the greeting was complete, Celestia looked directly at me. "The court calls Ian Langerman. Please step forward."

I hadn't been asked to step forward last time. "May my manager come with me?" I stood up without delay, gesturing to Easy. "She has information the court will want to hear as well."

Easy cringed even as she tried to smile. "Thanks, boss," she harshly whispered.

"The court recognizes Easy Breeze. Please step forward," She pointed to the podium beneath the level of the council members. "As some of you are aware, I entrusted Mister Langerman with a delicate assignment. I hope we will all see the fruit of it."

No pressure, right? I moved down the aisle, hundreds of pony eyes following me as I took the stand and Easy popped up beside me, an unsure smile on her face. "I bring news, mostly of the good variety. I think this ugly affair can be put behind us, but there are other things to be concerned with."

A heavy slam brought everyone attention up to the war-leading council-stallion. "Her forces are still very-much present, and they are not unarmed. How can you even imply this matter is anything but immediate and dire?"

A thought tickled at me. "You have a point. Her followers are dangerous, perhaps." I looked to Psychic Grannie, sitting there looking back at me. "You were there when it started. Which of the council members were present on that fateful day?"

She looked surprised at the question. "I don't like thinking about it, but I can remember it clearly." She started pointing out the council members, but didn't point at the war-leading one. "We were all there."

The war leader pointed at himself. "Except me, of course. My position was a result of that day."

"And you've done a fine job," I said with a smile. "But about that day. The spear that was thrown, how far and accurately can a spear be hurled by a pony?"

He snorted softly. "In the correct teeth, nearly as far and well as you wish."

"So it wasn't magic?"

He blinked, confused at the idea. "Mm?"

Psychic grandma raised a hoof. "It wasn't glowing when it flew through the air."

I raised a lone finger. "Are you trained in spear use?"

"Of course!" he hotly defended as if insulted by the question. "One of the best. Why? Why are we even entertaining the word of this deformed half-pony to begin with?"

The court murmured in agreement. Why were they listening to me?

Time for bigger guns. I drew out the scroll. "On this is the spell that allows a group of unicorns to move the sun and moon."

Gasps rolled out, replacing the quiet whispering.

Celestia sat up tall. "That spell is outlawed, Mister Langerman. We would not want any other unicorn to sacrifice themselves, or damage Equestria through its use."

I waved the scroll at her lightly. "And yet, it cannot, must not, be buried and forgotten. The lives of everyone hinged on avoiding just that." I brought my hands together, the scroll trapped between them. "Though I hope for your long presence, nothing in this universe is assured. If something happens to you, the duties you fulfill must fall to another. Without this knowledge, that is impossible, and all must suffer for the hubris of it."

Easy raised a quivering hoof. "No one would want to use that... spell. Unless the sun or moon was literally your purpose or maybe you were the incarnate of magic or something, it would wreck you completely." She clopped the podium, standing tall despite her shaking. "Maybe not the first or second time, but you will break something important, and be left a husk without magic."

Celestia wearily sighed. "That is precisely why it was outlawed. What would you have us do, as an outside perspective?"

I could hear whispers and mutterings, though it was hard to make them out. They were all about me, that much I felt certain enough. "The spell must be kept safe, in more than one place. In the event of such an emergency, a pony should be allowed to retrieve it and use it. Ideally, it should be stored away from you, Celestia, just in case whatever caused your end would harm it along the way. To maximize the odds of recovery, several copies should be spread out as far as possible."

The war council pony slammed a hoof down on the railing around his seat. "And what stops a pony from taking one of these remote copies and causing untold damage with it?"

Easy shook her head wildly. "They wouldn't last long enough to do much of anything. No sane person would want to do this unless it was really needed. No insane person will survive it if they do it alone."

I had another argument. "We've already seen what happens." The room's attention focused on me anew. "She's had this scroll. She's the one that gave it to me. She had it for however long this struggle has endured, and yet the sun has not crashed into the world nor the moon been shattered. She sent me back here with guards and well wishes, knowing I was an agent of this very court. Even at their worst, ponies don't want to destroy the world."

Thump! The war pony was looking increasingly irate. "About that! How dare you aid and abet enemies of the state!? You had in your hooves vital intelligence and outright criminals in need of justice and it was by your word alone that they trotted free."

Psychic Grandma's horn glowed softly, and he fell silent. Not that he wasn't moving and ranting, but no sounds came out. He didn't even seem to notice the difference, shouting silently at me. She nodded at him, then looked to me. "I have caught the hint you provided. Tell me, what did she say when you told her of that fateful day?"

We were switching topics rapidly, but I felt we were still headed in the right direction overall. "She became furious at the idea that she, or her ponies, would have started the fight. She swore they hadn't."

With a dull thud, sound returned to the war council. He had rushed from his podium at Psychic Grandma in a flash and struck her, slamming her face with an angry hoof and sending her crashing down with a weak cry. Her spell was broken, allowing him to speak, "Arrest him!"

Celestia's wings unfurled wide as she recoiled as did most of the others in the court. The council coming to blows was apparently new enough. "You have broken a solemn oath," she intoned, standing up with a growing scowl. "There is a male that will be arrested today, but he has four hooves, not two."

"You sit down," he barked, pointing at the prone and still form of Psychic Grandma. "She cast a spell at me, silencing me and breaking the very same vow first. I only defended myself."

Another council-mare cleared her throat softly. "Even if we accept that at face value, your reaction was far more severe than warranted. She is an old mare and you... You punched her. Is she alright?"

~That may have been a mistake,~ drifted into my mind. ~I can't feel much. Make me proud, strange thing.~ Her voice faded from my mind an I felt fear grip at me. How seriously had she been hurt?

"Get a doctor!" I blurted out, which only got looks of confusion.

The doors leading out of the courtroom banged open as a pony in robes entered, half-glasses on her face. "Physician Steady Cast, reporting for duty," she announced herself as she trotted down towards the trouble.

Had the word doctor come in after physician? Whatever, I was glad she was there and just hoped leeching was not still the desired treatment of the day.

Guards were moving in, but they were not unified. Some looked like they wanted to grab the war-leader, while others moved to defend him. As soon as one reached to grab him, another grabbed that guard, and it devolved into a brawl almost instantly as loyalties were drawn and fought over.

A blinding flash had them all rubbing their eyes against the dazzling effect. Celestia was approaching, horn held high. "Enough! You will stand trial." She pointed the prone form of Psychic Grandma. "She will have her turn, as soon as she is capable. If the council has no objection, I move that you both have your station removed until such time."

The others nodded in easy agreement, muttering their thoughts. The same mare as before pointed at the fallen elder. "I hope she's alright, even if she shouldn't have done that. We shouldn't treat her like that."

And so it was that two council members ceased to be members of that council. That was not as I had planned... Still. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but..."

"Yes, of course." Celestia turned back towards me and the rest of the crowd. "Court will resume. See them to their rooms and to their comfort and care, but they are not to leave." She sat down on her throne with a soft sigh. "You raise an important point. If she wished to cause harm, she had the tool to do so for some time. Perhaps we have been looking at this from the wrong angle. Tell me, tell us, what is it she truly desires?"

Author's Note

I imagine you can put the pieces together at this point, yes? Shall we resolve this and maybe get to making Equestria a bright place ready for the future we know it could become?

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25 - What I Want

"What she wants--" I spread my hands, standing firmly on my new hooves. "--is a future that does not break with the removal of one pony. That is her wish. No matter how wonderful that pony may be, she is only one, and that is not the security she can live with."

Celestia slowly exhaled as the others muttered back and forth. "Is that all she truly wants? Since this is now brought to light, I have heard tale that she desires our heads."

I could guess who started that rumor, or at least who fed them carefully. "I think you would like her, once this issue is behind us." I set the scroll carefully down on the podium. "Keep one copy with any other outlawed spell, but send a few others to remote places. We will pray we never have a reason for it but we will be ready if we do."

Another of the council members, a male, nodded towards me. "You may sit," he dismissed. "Thank you."

Just like that? It was true, I had spoken my peace and planted seeds of rebellion against the idea of continuing the battle, but... I nodded to Easy and we made our ways to our seats, scroll in hand.

"The court calls for Water Lily, summon her at once," barked the same male, waving a hoof at the door beyond the crowd. The guards crisply saluted and several dashed off in search of the maid.

I hadn't mentioned her, or thought she'd be in court at all. I wondered how she would handle it, or what they even wanted to ask her. Easy nudged against my knee in several sharp taps of a hoof. "Ten bits she cries."

"I will not bet on a friend."

"Pfft, you won't put money down on her side? Coward." Her eyes rolled mightily.

Soft waved a hoof from my other side. "I will see that wager. The maids are quite trained in decorum."

Easy tilted her head. "Consider it done." Her voice betrayed that she did not expect him to hop in.

The doors swung open, a guard returning, then another, with Water Lily following behind with a worried expression. A third guard came in behind her as if to make sure she didn't go anywhere they didn't want her to go.

Celestia nodded towards the newcomer. "The court recognizes Water Lily, please step forward. As with Ian, you were sent on a task of some importance, and it is time you shared its results with us."

"Y-yes, Your Majesty." She bowed low towards Celestia, then began to walk purposefully towards the lowest stand for those not in the council that I had stood in a few moments before.

"Tell the court what you witnessed, of Ian's character and purpose. He is a stranger of every variety, with strange thoughts, strange origin, and of a strange species. What manner of pony did you witness?" She was facing Water Lily as she spoke, even if her words were all about me. "Do not embellish in any fashion."

Water sat down on her haunches and took a little breath. "What I saw was a scared pony, but one ready to walk despite it. What I saw was a vulnerable pony, without even fur to protect himself, but he fought when he had to and never entertained the idea of sacrificing someone else for his benefit. What... I saw was a clever pony, who wanted the truth and was ready to reach for it, even if it got him hurt." She looked out over the crowd, picking out my naked face among her furry peers easily. "What I saw was a fine pony."

What she saw was a new boyfriend, but I didn't raise that point. I mean, I was doing alright, right? I really did want the best for the world I had found myself in and I didn't want to hurt any of them.

Celestia nodded primly. "How did Mister Langerman come about his new... condition? Was it intentional?"

Water shook her head so quickly her ears flopped from the force of it. "I should have made the situation more clear, Your Highness. I failed to impress the danger of the plants we approached and its curse touched where he did not protect himself. It was my error." Her ears sagged low. "I failed in my task."

Celestia raised a hoof. "I will be the judge of that. When speaking with the mare that led the rebelling faction, were you present?"

She nodded gently. "Yes, I was there."

"What are your opinions on her?" prompted Celestia gently.

"She seemed agitated, but not altogether impolite." She raised a hoof to her chin. "If I had to serve her, I predict she would not be too troublesome. Independant, and likely to shoo me away as I worked, but not one to leave much work for me to do in the first place. I think she takes her role seriously, and seemed to care about the ponies that were around her."

Celestia smiled a little. "Exactly the manner of answer I was hoping for. Tell me, in your opinion, would she accept an answer of compromise?"

Water looked a little uncertain. "I... Mmm... I think... If it kept her ponies safe and didn't abandon what she wanted to do, she probably would." She tilted her head a little. "I am sorry, but I didn't entirely understand what it is she wants. Did she--"

Celestia raised a hoof for quiet, and Water silenced herself immediately. "The ponies who escorted you back to the castle, what happened with them? What manner of ponies were they?"

Water's ears perked up quickly. "They were ponies doing their job. You could tell they wanted to make her happy. They didn't care much about Mister Langerman besides what they were told to do. They were ready to do as they were told, and they have confidence in her ability to make decisions. I've seen that sort before..."

"Did they seem prone to violence?"

Water shook her head. "When the guards were ready to arrest them, they weren't fighting back. When they were let go, they left without saying unpleasant things."

Celestia spread her wings wide. "Very well. These do not sound like brigands to me. I motion that Mister Langerman not be prosecuted for his actions. It is entirely reasonable to ensure the safe travel of one who has done the same for you, and most unbecoming to have a pony arrested for the crime of seeing you to your destination."

One of the council-mares raised a hoof. "A question, for the maid. Miss Lily, was an agreement made between that mare and Mister Langerman?"

Water tilted her head a little, looking uncertain.

Celestia nodded softly. "Speak honestly. The truth, unvarnished, is what we desire."

"V-very well. Yes. She asked that he display a scroll with some sort of spell on it." She scrunched her nose a little. "I didn't understand what was so important about it, but she said he should show it, and that she didn't want him to stay there." She glanced in my direction. "Did he?"

The councilmare shook her head. "It is not your place to ask questions."

Water quickly turned red. "My apologies!" She dipped her head low, abashed at her lack of decorum.

The same mare looked to Celestia. "I second your motion."

"Thirded," agreed the stallion.

"Motion is carried. Ian Langerman will not be held in contempt for his actions." With a gavel wrapped in her golden magic, she struck the railing that partially surrounded her. "You are dismissed, Water Lily."

Water Lily's eyes grew amazingly wide, tears starting to form as she trembled.

Celestia realized her error swiftly. "You may step down, Water Lily, and resume your duties."

Water's blush returned with a vengeance. She quickly scurried down from the stand and rushed from the courtroom towards the comfort of the job she knew much better than the strange workings of the court.

"Ten bits for me," whispered Easy.

"She only began to shed them when she misunderstood the command entirely. She performed quite well," argued Soft just as quietly.

"She still cried," Easy crossed her forelegs with a confident smile. "Open and shut, ten bits."

Bits floated in front of me, passed from a mildly annoyed loser to the grinning winner of the bet. I doubted ten bits meant all that much to Soft. It was likely the principle of the thing that bothered him.

Celestia gestured with a wing in my direction. "That leaves us with--"

A voice cried from the crowd, "when do we get to our concerns?"

"We waited a long time to get on the docket," agreed another, unhappy grumbles spreading.

Celestia grit her teeth. "Be that as it may... this is not a matter to be delayed any further." She stood up, towering over all the other ponies present. "I motion that the scroll containing the celestial alignment spells be given to each grand city numbering at least one million ponies. Should a city reach this number in the future, they will be entrusted with a copy, to be safeguarded by its governing body in the unfortunate event that it is required."

The councilmare frowned at the idea. "That number is too small and will send it to too many places. It should be at least double that!"

The stallion nodded softly. "That would be best. I second two million."

Celestia looked like she was barely resisting putting a hoof to her face. "How absurd of me, yes, two million. Motion carries?"

The other two nodded and she slapped her gavel on the railing. "That is only one city at present, but more will come over time, harmony allowing. Let the new law be recognized." Her eyes swept over the gathering of ponies. "Dispatch word of our decision across the country, that all will know of the decision made today. I hope this is the end of these... troubling times."

A mare in the crowd stood up, waving a hoof wildly. "Can we start on the docket now, please?"

The matter of the civil war was allowed to be put to the side. In came the rush of little ponies with little problems and big voices. Their problems, perhaps, could be abated if the war was well and truly over. It seemed surreal to me. Was that all it had taken? They could have settled on it so much earlier, without all the violence.

Of course, they might have done exactly that, if someone hadn't chucked a spear and started the war. I had research to do. Since my job in the court was done, I rose in a crouch and began slipping away. I could hear the clip-clop of hooves behind me.

When I emerged from the court, I turned to look at Easy, but it seemed that Soft had also followed me. "Not interested in the rest of court?"

He shook his head. "You are far more intriguing. You moved with a clear purpose, and I would love to know what that purpose is. Congratulations on your exoneration."

Easy shrugged softly. "When he gets an idea, he starts chasing it. What's on your mind, Boss?"

I marched through the halls of the castle, the two following me on either side. "Soft, maybe you know, but how common is spear use?"

"The guards always carry one, it seems." His tone implied he was curious where I was headed with the question.

"Was the councilpony in charge of war a guard before?" I glanced back at him, though still walked.

"Indeed he was." He nodded softly. "Quite an upset, a guard advancing to a council position. Doesn't happen that often."

The pieces were coming together nicely... "Do they have any contests, the guards that is?"

He shrugged softly. "I don't know that, I'm afraid. Is that what we are to find out?"

"Precisely." I grinned a little as we approached the library. It was time to make like Twilight and read a book.

Author's Note

What is it Ian wants to find out?

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26 - Read a Book

I thrust out a finger, pinning down a sentence like a small animal I was capturing. "Better than expected."

Soft and Easy perked up from their own books. "Did you find something?" they asked in eerie sync.

I hesitated a moment, caught off-guard by their moment of solidarity. "Huh, yeah. They have a record for spear throwing." I tapped at the passage. "And they've been tracking what it is and when it was broken. To make the fabled 'first throw' would have been in that range of distance. That's the first hint, but not the last."

Soft reared up beside me, looking down at the paper. His jovial expression darkened quickly at the name listed as the current record holder. "Quite the distinguished guard, wasn't he?"

Easy popped up on the other side, sharply whistling. "Now there's a rising pillar of smoke. So our buddy-pal was a champion thrower, making him one of the few people that could have made that kind of throw."

A deep male voice spoke behind us, from the direction of the door, "That's quite enough." We wheeled around as several ponies in armor took up posts barring the door off entirely. The one that spoke was approaching at a slow walk, a spear in his mouth. Fitting... "They may have exonerated you, but they won't hold us liable if you attack us."

Damn it. If I didn't attack them, they'd rough themselves up just enough afterwards to make it look like I had. If I did, well, that worked too. The war leader wasn't without supporters, it seemed. I reached for the sword I no longer had, cursing internally.

Easy stepped forward with a loud snort, sparks and flames dancing around her horn. "Want to try me? Let's dance!" She had become a lot more confident in her ability to weave destructive magic. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or worried about that.

More surprising was that Soft was at her side, dark-blue-white rings undulating along his horn. "I'm afraid I must insist as well. We are not helpless and will not accept this on our haunches."

Apparently I was the only one that didn't have a weapon. Great. The leader span his spear around in a terrific display of tongue and mouth coordination. "Looks like they're resisting arrest. Take them down, no need to be gentle." The ponies at the door charged forward in a fan of angry pony flesh.

Easy exploded in a shower of fire and sparks, little fireworks dancing away from her horn as she warded one guard from approaching her. She laughed like a mare having far too much fun as she advanced on him, pressing him back faster and faster.

A sudden jab of a spear had Soft leaping over it, the strobe of magic bursting free in a sudden sphere from his center, colliding with the guard and throwing the pony away, the spear left behind to clatter on the floor.

That left the leader for me. He was charging right at me, his spear poised to stab into my alarmingly fragile skin. Delaying tactic. I dove under the table behind me and came up before I got past it, throwing it up behind me to serve as a basic barricade. I heard him snort with annoyance, but that changed just as quickly.

The laughing of Easy was returning and he yelped as the mad mare's magic found his exposed bottom, scorching him. Why hadn't those stupid plants given me a horn? That would have been handy right about then. Then again... I edged around the table as the leader jabbed wildly at Easy, forcing her to withdraw for a change.

With a sudden lunge, I grabbed the spear the other guard had dropped and rolled up to my feet. I hadn't even pulled off that move before and for just a moment I was just happy I had managed it.

That's when I was stabbed. Pain lanced out from a leg and I swung my spear wildly in that direction, crashing it against a spear held in one of the guard's mouth. He snarled, biting down on the haft of his spear as he backed up a step.

"Did you forget me?" asked Soft as he held up a hoof, a book floating over it. "A library is for reading." As he said the last word, the book propelled itself, glowing with his magic as it struck the guard across the side of his face with a dull thump.

For being a soft noble, Soft certainly didn't seem shy about fighting. I gave him a thumbs up, even if he likely had no idea what that gesture meant, and rushed away from the dizzy guard towards the captain that was attacking Easy. She was falling over herself, scrambling away from his wild jabs. I could see bits of flame escaping her, but she couldn't back up very quickly and keep her horn pointed in the right direction.

"Enough!" boomed a loud female voice just as I reached the captain. Everyone in the room went still a moment before we looked to see who had shouted at us.

Celestia stood, her wings unfurled and a frown on her face. "Everyone, put down your weapons this instant."

I heard other spears falling and let mine join them on the floor.

She took a step forward into the room and the other councilmembers filed in after her, flanking her. "It would seem your assumption was correct."

The smaller female councilmare smiled confidently. "Now that we know who we're dealing with, he's predictable enough."

The male nodded softly. "Attacking a citizen, in the castle, in the library... He should be ashamed."

Celestia shook her head slightly. "Using fire?"

Easy began to go red quickly. "Oh, um, that's... my fault... I didn't set any books on fire!"

Celestia gestured a wing and a small raincloud appeared, vanishing almost as quickly as it turned into a faint shower that put out the one book that had caught fire. "Please abstain from damaging royal property." She pointed at me with a gold-clad hoof. "As it turns, he is one of those, and he appears to be damaged in a way a quick spell will not address."

I was property? That was also a reminder that I had been stabbed. Christ, that hurt. The adrenaline of the moment had passed, leaving me to 'enjoy' the throbbing pain of where the spear had punctured my innocent little pony leg.

The guards had formed up, two behind the captain. The captain stiffly nodded at Celestia. "They were causing trouble, Your Highness, and we were attempting to subdue them."

Celestia gestured at the source of my pain with a wing. "With the sharpened end of spears? Hardly a fitting tool for subduing any particular creature. Did you try asking?" Her eyes flicked to my face. "Mister Langerman, sit."

What was I, a dog? Still... I did slowly sink down, trying to avoid any new signals of pain from my hurt leg.

Easy was suddenly in front of me, looking like she was ready to protect me from Celestia of all people.

Celestia just smiled gently. "You are a loyal and good pony. Thank you for protecting my property."

Easy's nose wriggled. "He's his own property, and my boss. My boss can't belong to someone else, how does that even work?!"

Soft cleared his throat softly. "I am willing to act as witness."

"Very good." Celestia nodded. "I'm glad this is settled then. You three, report to prison."

All three faces fell as one. One of them started walking away slowly, ears sunk.

The captain was not that one. "We've done nothing wrong," he barked with a low growl.

The male councilpony stepped forward. "And you will have a chance to argue your side, on your day of court. Do not make your case more difficult. Your subordinate is showing more sense than you."

That was enough to make the second guard slink off after the first, both soon fleeing the room, presumably towards wherever the jail was.

With a sudden shout, he ducked his head low and grabbed a spear. Rather than charging with it, he gave it a toss with a flick of his head. My life flashed before my eyes as it came at me, the deadly tip spinning slowly as my perception of the world seemed to carry it slowly.

I was sitting with no way to move out of the way fast enough to do a damn thing about it. My hands were lifting, but were just as slow. What did I plan to do, order it to stop with a palm? Maybe take the shot through my palm instead of my chest, as if that would be far better.

The spear suddenly stopped, encased in a bright golden sphere. Celestia's horn glowed the same color. "We've all had enough thrown spears for one century, I think we can all agree on that."

"Attempted murder," hissed the female councilpony. "You don't know when to quit, do you?" She gestured at me. "That is an asset of Equestria, one you seem quite set on damaging. You are relieved of your station!"

"Seconded," somberly agreed the male.

"Thirded, motion carried," finished Celestia. The spear dropped limply to the floor and the captain was instead grabbed in the golden sphere. "I motion for immediate imprisonment."

"Seconded." "Thirded."

"Wait! I--" He was gone, winked out of existence by Celestia's powerful magic.

Celestia gestured at me. "See to his medical needs. Mister Langerman, today has been a busy one for you. We are in your debt for unearthing the troubles around us. For now, rest and recover." She turned away, the others turning with her. As one they left as they had come, with proper pomp.

I felt a poke right near where I had been stabbed. Even as I hissed, Easy was grinning at me, being the one that poked me. "You're not that hurt, Boss. You're a tougher pony than that."

That still hurt! Still, it was true that I didn't feel flowing blood, which was good. I stood up, shaking a little. That had been... a lot. "I don't like being called 'property'."

Soft shrugged as he approached, the table I had knocked over glowing with his magic as he set it right. "A legal convenience to make it clear that damaging you carried even more weight, I imagine. Your being an unknown species makes it an easier bluff to carry."

Easy wriggled her nose. "For being a nice, if still snooty, noble, you sure are involved in this."

"You work for her," I thought outloud. "You are her eyes."

He bowed gently, lowering his front and sweeping a hoof. "Sharp as ever, Mister Langerman. It fell on me to record how they reacted to your little proposal, and to see how you presented it. I would thank you both to keep that quiet, mmm? We are still friends, I hope."

Easy tilted her head. "You mean we could have just asked you instead of hiking all the way out there to talk to her?!"

In part, perhaps, but... "We wouldn't have gotten the scroll that way." I was looking at Soft directly. "Well, how did it go? Will she be happy or not?"

"I am not her, so I couldn't say exactly, but I think today has been a few steps in a much desired direction. The spell is no longer to be hidden away where none can find it. One will be here, in Canterlot, and another to be secured in Baltimare, with others to be added over time." He tilted his head. "This is to say nothing of potentially incriminating the one who caused this conflict to begin with. Busy, you are nothing if not busy, Mister Langerman."

Easy snorted softly. "And I'm his manager, so, yeah, busy." She waved at me wildly. "I can't even stop him from getting hurt!"

Author's Note

Resolutions! Incarcerations! Lacerations! Punctuations? Declarations!

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27 - Medical Attention

I had returned to my room. Soft went back to whatever his daily needs were, and Easy served as a support when I wanted one. She was good-natured about it, walking right by my side so I could rest a hand on her back as we navigated the halls. "Here we are," she noted, willing the door open. "Now get to bed, Princess' orders and all that."

"There he is!" came a familiar voice. Water Lily hurried inside just after us, her eyes set on me. "I expected you in the library, sir. Why are you walking around? Please, lay down."

It seemed all the mares wanted me to lay down. Who was I to argue it? Not like I wanted to stand on that injured leg. "Do you know what's happening?" I flopped onto the soft bed, wincing softly at the movement of my leg as I got into position.

"Only that you were stabbed! That can be very serious." She reared up, bits of herbs and a few bottles floating up out of her dress in an impressive collection of things. "As a trained apothecarian, they chose me to see to your injuries." Her eyes wandered over me, settling onto the clothed injury. "Can you take that off?"

My pants? I saw Easy snickering, but also knew ponies were nudists as often as not. She was laughing at my discomfort, not anything that would actually be revealed. Water certainly had seen it before... "Can we close the door at least?"

"Oh, of course." The door shut quickly, but did not slam, in her magic. "If it hurts, I can do it."

"I can take it off myself." I hooked my thumbs into my beltline and soon had things loosened. I pulled it down even if it hurt to move things over the injury. I wasn't bad enough to accept help just getting my pants off.

"It could have been worse," gently spoke Water with a little smile. "At least they didn't put marks on your skin."

Fur covered or not, skin was involved! "I don't feel lucky, except the part where I'm around to complain about it."

She hopped up suddenly, her things floating around her. She was right between my legs, gently feeling where the spear had bit into me. "You poor thing. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. Let's start with a cleansing." A bottle lowered from the cloud of others and she began to pour it on--Dear god! "Does that hurt?" I imagine my expression gave it away, but I didn't shout.

"It'll be over soon." She worked it around the injury carefully before she re-stopped the bottle and held up a hoof, another bottle moving to it. "This one will help you heal faster and without as many nasty scars."

Was it Aloe? I could distantly smell it. I heard that stuff actually worked after scientific prodding. One of the few folk remedies that passed the acid te-- Ow. It still hurt to have it rubbed in, however gently she did it. I was sure she was being as careful as she could be, but that didn't mean it was painless. Still, I decided, I could have been far worse. She was soon wrapping gauze around my leg, softly tisking.

"I hope they punish the bad pony that did this to you. This just isn't right."

I thought back to which of them did that. It wasn't the captain. "I don't think punishing him more than what he gets for being involved is really needed." It was a 'following orders' situation, as lousy as an excuse as it was, I could imagine what stories he might have said to convince them I was a dangerous threat to Equestria.

The fact that they had submitted quickly when told to go await judgment was a plus in my book. Now the captain, he deserves everything he had coming... "Thanks for the first aid."

Water was looking at my pants, which were floating in her magic. "Torn and stained. I'll get right on that." She hopped down off the bed, her various herbs and bottles hiding themselves within her maid's uniform. "Don't you even worry about it."

I tried to stand up after her, but my leg was quick to remind me why that was a bad idea and I flopped back onto my ass with a soft hiss.

She looked over her shoulder at me. "You are to stay here. I'll be back once I pass this to another maid to clean and tailor and I'll bring some food for you both."

Easy snickered as Water left. "This is one of the few times maids get to give orders, when they're taking care of a sick person."

"I'm not sick." I slapped my good knee. "I want to know what's going on. Are things resolved?"

Easy perked an ear. "Not sure I could answer that for you, or anyone else, unless Celestia comes walking through the door there with answers." She glanced at the door as if that were a possibility. "No such luck..." She put her hooves on the bed beside me, reared up with her face close to mine. "For now, relax. You're at least getting room and board for your 'noble service.'"

There were other things... "I imagine Soft is reporting in about now."

"Mmm? Oh yeah." She hopped up, sitting down on her haunches beside me. "I didn't see that coming. Say, uh, boss, how's that treating you?" She waved a hoof at where skin transitioned to fur and downwards along my equine legs. "I know I give you grief sometimes, but I'm not trying to be mean. You alright?"

What had prompted that? "Thankfully whatever adjustment was involved didn't make walking normally out of the question." If I had been thrown forward on all fours, that would be a whole new, terrible, thing. Just imagining walking on two hooves and my hands like an awkward... thing... ugh. "I have to say, right now, being stabbed ranks higher on the 'things that make my body not the way I want it' meter."

"Can't argue that." She went quiet a moment. "Sorry. I mean... I tried to fight them, and you go and get stabbed anyway." She rubbed her forehooves together softly. "So, you know, sorry."

Was she feeling guilty? I hadn't expected it out of her. I reached for her, but she wasn't the kind of pony to idly accept a pet, shying away. "It wasn't your fault. If you hadn't been there, things could have gone a lot worse than they had." I didn't want to imagine what would have happened if it was just me against three armed guards. The best I could have hoped for was running past them, and spears are pretty good at stopping that from happening easily.

"Hey, I thought I was going to be a magician." She wobbled a hoof before rising up onto them. "Instead, I'm a manager, and a fighter. I didn't expect that last one especially..."

"I didn't expect a lot of what I've run into so far." I looked to the closed door. It struck me that I was still pantsless, with nothing covering unseemly things. Not that Easy seemed to care. "Do you still want to build?"

Suddenly her hooves were on my shoulders. She was reared up behind me, sliding her hooves past my shoulders until she fell on me, her head just beide mine. "That's what I signed up for. I mean, I won't build stuff, but I'll help you tell other people how to build something. We'll be an amazing building duo, right?"

I hadn't asked to get a mare as an ornament, but I smiled despite the surprise of it. "We'll get to it. If this... really is resolved, then things can start to heal."

"Why don't we start with the basics?" She bumped her head against mine. "That garbage pile of a city is no place to build great things in, I say."

She had a point, I thought to myself. "We'll talk to Celestia as soon as we can, see if we can't get those things handled. There's not a lot of reason we can't start our project while that's underway though. Not like she'll put us in charge of all sanitation."

She snorted, close enough that I could see how her nostrils flared in the motion. "You jinxed it. Now that's exactly what she'll do. I hope you're ready to be the Grand High Janitor of Canterlot, long may you reign."

I reached up and pushed her face off to the side. "There would be worse fates, but I think I can do more than that, given the chance."

She reared back and nipped at my hand, holding it without it hurting in a display of care and precision. "Like what? What other marvels do you have in that funny shaped head of yours that you're waiting to spring on us innocent little ponies?"

Still didn't know how ponies spoke with their mouths full. When I tugged at my hand, she let it go and I set it back at my side and a little back, propping me up on the bed. "There are more things than I can count, but I have to be realistic. Some of the things I'd really like require other things you don't have, and those require still other things, and other things for those too."

She reared up, pulling her hooves off of me and coming own on all fours, circling to my side once more. "What kind of kingdom do you come from? What sorts of things are you so used to, that..." She rolled a hoof. "Name one, just one thing, and tell me why we couldn't do it."

Why not something simple? "We have light whenever we want it, powered by electricity. Do you know what electricity is?"

"Oh, sure." Her horn began to crackle and jump with the stuff. "I can make that. I can make light too. What's so special there?"

I pointed up at my head with my other hand. "You'll note a lack of a horn. This is light anyone can use, without magic. We can summon and banish it with barely a gesture." I made a motion as if flicking on a light switch, then turning it back off. "It requires that the electricity be generated first. To do that requires a plentiful supply of different metals to create the generator, then to create the connections from the generator to wherever you wanted the power. If you don't insulate the connections--"

"--They get cold?" she interrupted with a guess.

"They might do that, but the problem is more that the electricity can escape. They can be wasted along the way, not to mention hurt animals or people who were too close. You have to have them insulated and usually either raised high or buried under the ground to try and avoid that. No one wants to get shocked." I gestured high and low as I talked, explaining the situation as best as I could.

"Alright, so you have electricity--" Her horn sparked for emphasis. "--and you put them in big cables. Does that work?" She looked around the room suddenly and reached a hoof towards a butter knife that had been discarded before. It zipped over to her, wrapped in her magic. "Let's try!" She pressed one end of the knife against her horn and reached up a hoof to hold the other end. Her magic faded from the knife. "If I can..." Her horn lit up, sparking. The spark jumped right down the knife and into her hoof and she yelped, dropping her hoof and the knife at the same time. "That hurts!"

I had to smile. That had been a painful but very practical lesson in the nature of electricity. "Electricity follows the path of least resistance. Air resists electricity, but metal does not, or does so a lot less, so it went through it, then through your hoof, and down to the ground, which is where it wants to be."

She was shaking her jolted hoof. "Is that what it feels like? Now I feel a little bad zapping those guards..."

Author's Note

Suddenly, a lesson on how things work. Educational!

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28 - The War is Canceled

Several days had slipped by. My leg was feeling better, and my pants were repaired. Rumors were circulating around the castle, and I was known enough to get some of them. Psychic Granny had not weathered the assault she received, and the charges against the deposed council member had only increased as a result.

I had a hard time feeling any sympathy for him. He'd cost a lot of ponies a lot of time and blood, not to mention personally killing at least two of them, likely more. Had they already gained access to Tartarus? Seemed like a likely place for such a person. Easy had looked perplexed when I asked her about it. "That's just an old mare's tale," she scoffed, waving it away.

I was allowed to wander the castle, but not to leave it. Fortunately I had Easy to talk to at least, and books to pursue if I dared to approach the library again. A soft knocking rose my attention towards the door of my room.

"You have a guest," came Water's voice through the wood. "I believe you are familiar with them."

Easy glanced at me a moment before she called out, "open the door."

The door's knob glowed as it twisted and the door opened, revealing Water Lily and Soft. I smiled at the both of them and waved them inside. Soft took the invitation without hesitation, but Water stayed outside. "If I can get you anything, you have but to ask, but I'm on duty, sorry." She took her leave without waiting for much of a reply, the door closing behind her.

Soft nodded to me, then Easy. "Good to see you both. I come bearing felicitous news."

I hiked a brow. "She's calling off the war?"

"Exactly that." He pointed a hoof at me. "She's not happy with the spell being in two places, but that's a fair step higher than zero. Knowing the pony responsible is being brought to justice has eased things considerably." He sighed softly. "So much wasted, and for what?"

Easy rolled a hoof. "So a pony could feel important and roll around in undeserved bits?"

I grunted at that. "I'd love to hear his view of it, but I doubt I will, and it doesn't matter in the end." Looking to soft, I rolled a hand, "Any new word from court?"

"Only the one I will be delivering tomorrow morning. I had hoped I could talk you into coming." He cracked a little smile. "It would be a pleasure to have you in the crowd when I delivered the news. You did play a key role in ensuring it."

Easy leaned forward on her bed. "Is that invite for him only?"

"Perish the thought." He coughed into a hoof twice. "You are his manager, are you not? I wouldn't imagine he would come without you."

"Exactly." She bobbed her head, looking pleased. "Soon we'll get to things that need real managing."

"One thing." I held up two fingers. "You said two instead of zero, but they only named one city."

Soft chuckled softly at that, tapping the ground with a hoof. "Why, if they have a spell in some other city, there will be one here, in Canterlot. That goes without saying. Besides--" He raised a brow at me. "--you are going to make this city grow. I am uncertain exactly how true the methods you may bring are, but you have given us little reason to doubt you so far. You are earnest, if nothing else."

Easy waved the uncertainty away. "We're gonna make this the place to be. Ponies will be fighting for the right to live here." She grinned wide at me. "Right?"

"That's the goal." I rose up onto my relatively new hooves and felt the equally new tail swaying behind me. I had gone so very native. "I'll be there, tomorrow."

"You look unhappy." That was a casual reminder that I also had expressive pony ears, broadcasting my emotions and removing a lot of my deception ability.

I raised a hand to cover the fuzzy things as if that looked any less obvious. "I'm not used to having these, or these, or this." I pointed down to my hooves and back at my tail. "I'm not sad about coming to court, promise."

Easy shook her head. "They look nice enough at least. You could have gotten ugly pony parts."

"She has a point, if crudely stated." He turned for the door. "See you in the morning, Sir. Let's put this ugliness behind us."

Easy grabbed the door for him as I waved lightly, turning back to her. "We have somewhere to be."

"Yeah, tomorrow." She rolled her eyes as she said it. "Anything for the rest of today?"

I didn't have any grand ideas, just little ones. "Let's plumb."

She hiked a brow. "You're joking."

"Nope." I grabbed my phone and pulled up an article. "Let's start small and see how the pipes in the castle are laid out."

"What makes you so sure they have pipes?" She hopped down from her bed, trotting towards me for all of the few steps it took.

"They have tubs and it didn't look like they were bucket-filled," I reasoned as I stuffed the phone away. "Let's have a look."

"After you, Boss."

I led the way, heading directly for the bathing room. The door wasn't locked, but I didn't dare rush in. I rapped on it with the back of a hand. "Anyone in there?"

"Just me, Sir," came a soft voice. The door opened, revealing a maid. It wasn't Water, but she had a gentle smile much the same. "I was cleaning. Are you looking to bathe, Sir? I can assist." She noticed a pony behind me. "For two?"

I advanced into the room, the maid backing out of the way automatically. "I'm actually here to look at the bath, not use it. Can you bring me some tools? Hammers, screwdrivers, things like that?"

"Oh, um..." She looked obviously out of her element. "I'll see what I can do." She dashed off in a tizzy, likely racing for someone more knowledgeable in crafts to ask.

Easy walked behind me as I approached the bath. "It's full of water, to start. How do you empty the thing?" She looked left and right, scanning the area. "The tubs I used before you had to use buckets to fill, and you tipped them over when you were done."

I could easily imagine the metal basin she'd likely use. The porcelain work of art before us was not one of those. "There has to be something..." I looked along the walls, feeling them as I went. "Here we..." I felt the wall come up just a little, a hidden button? "Go." I pressed down on it.

The water didn't so much as flow down as it promptly ceased to be, sparkling faintly as it went. "Magic," I sighed out sadly. Effective? Sure, but I was trying to engineer, not magic it... I sank down beside the empty bathing tub, all clean and sparkling as if there hadn't been bathwater waiting to be used.

Easy, on the other hoof, was busy clapping her hooves with obvious joy. "Wow, that was great. I should have thought of that. Why wouldn't the palace have magical artifacts for silly little things like that? Why are you looking glum?" She walked over and casually reared up next to me. "You're much more honest these days."

"Wha--" I didn't get to finish my question as she nipped one of my hanging ears. I pushed her away even as she laughed. "I was hoping for a non-magical setup. I can't do much with one powered by magic."

"Why not? Isn't magic easier?" She tilted her head a little, looking genuinely baffled.

"But not every person in this kingdom has that." I waved at the empty tub. "How expensive do you figure this trick is? If you wanted your tub to fill up with hot water whenever you pressed a button, how costly would that be?"

Easy frowned, considering it from the look of it. "Not cheap," she settled. "Maybe after I'm rich and famous."

"Exactly." I tapped at the porcelain side of the tub. "The answers I'm aiming for are for everyone, not just the richest of the rich. That explains the lack of a drain." Without the water and suds in the way, I could easily see that the tub was entirely sealed with no such need for any outlet for the water.

"I've seen those." Easy nodded firmly. "If you don't like tipping your tub out, just open the drain and let it come out." She made a twisting motion with her hooves. "Just like that. Kind of handy. Dad never installed one on our tub, cheapskate that he is."

I felt a smile coming on and my ears perking up. "Just like that, but both ways. You open a drain that keeps fresh water out of the tub and it comes in. You open a drain on the other end and the water goes out when you're done bathing."

Her eyes shined. "That would be fantastic, but you'd need a lot of water to do that, right? Always right there, waiting to pour into your tub." She sank to her haunches. "You plan to make that much water ready for anyone?"

The door swung open as the maid returned with another pony, a stallion in very clear wizardly attire. The stallion wore a pointed hat and had a long beard. He was not Star Swirl, but easily fit in the same mold. "I was told someone wanted to interfere with the tub?" He saw us there at the side and hurried over, leaving the maid behind. "What is the meaning of this?"

I scrambled to my feet, which I didn't have. They were more hooves really, and as if in objection to my thinking of them that way, they slipped, and I went over into the tub. Magic glittered around me, pulling me back up to stand beside the tub, the wizard's horn glowing. "As I was saying?"

Not the best way to make an impression. "Nice to meet you. I'm--"

"Mister Langerman, the princess' pet." He gestured in a slow roll. "I am not that sequestered in my studies. Why are you interfering with this fine work of enchantment?"

"He's an engineer!" hotly defended Easy, moving between me and the wizard.

I gently nudged her back to the side. "I'm investigating how water is moved in the castle. I had thought this was a feat of engineering, but it was, instead, a work of magic."

He cocked a bushy brow. "Engineering? The word is foreign, but, yes, it is magic, and, permitting, it will remain." He strode past me, his glowing horn turning towards the hidden button. The tub refilled with hot water, bubbling faintly as soaps were apparently added automatically. "Is there anything wrong with it, Mr. Langerman?"

"Quite impressive, really." I waved a hand at it. "How much would it be if I wanted such a tub for myself?"

"More than you will likely ever have," he stated flatly as if it were a simple truth. "You..." He paused just long enough to look up at my head and back to my face. "--have no horn, so teaching you the principles would be a waste of time for all involved."

I didn't suspect learning magic would help me much. "My methods are different. I think I've learned all I can from this. Nice work."

"Of course." He tipped his head towards me before turning to the maid. "Make sure he didn't break anything," he hissed as if I couldn't hear, and he tromped off, likely angry that I had disturbed whatever study he had been in the middle of.

The maid walked up to us with a nervous smile. "I'm sure you did nothing wrong, Sir, Ma'am. He's just like that. Don't be too angry with him."

Author's Note

Good news to share tomorrow. Today? We look at tubs. Seems legit, right?

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29 - Unanimous Vote

I spent the rest of the day digging up information about how the rest of Equestria got its water. The ponies were not without their tricks. They knew how to move water, and that was good. If I had to go over even those basics, we'd never reach the point I was aiming for. It was also comforting to know 'magic' was not always the default answer.

Most of the books I had seen seemed to imply that was an answer out of reach of the average pony. Good. No surprises should come from the idea of handling it without magic then.

"Are you done reading?" sighed out Easy. "It's late, I'm hungry, and we have court tomorrow."

I couldn't entirely argue with her. "Let's get something. Good job."

"Huh?" She tilted her head at me.

"You're already managing." I pointed a finger at her as I shut the book I had been browsing.

She sat up with a proud smile. "As if there was any doubt? I'll keep you on track." She hopped up to her hooves and we went off to the dining hall.

We ate, chatted, and slept. My rest was interrupted by a warm and fuzzy presence. Water had slid in beside me, snuggling beneath the blanket.

"I'm going to fix it," she whispered urgently. "Just wait... We'll have your wonderful skin back where it should be."

She was moving in a frisky way, and I had little reason to turn it down, so it was an evening well spent. If we were to become a permanent thing, some part of me might have been alright with that alien bit of anatomy, since it fit her so well. Besides, what man hadn't fantasized about that part at least once?

Water was gone by the time I woke up, and I was clean as if she had never been there. She was a maid first. I had to respect that in a way.

"Enjoy your visit?" snickered Easy, a hoof over her mouth as if to clumsily hide her mirth.

"We didn't bother you, I hope?" I started getting dressed for court, gussying up as was proper.

"What, me? Nah..." She waved it away. "You two really have a thing going, don't you? Gonna take her hoof and marry her? I bet she's waiting for you to ask."

From what I knew... "Don't ponies lean towards matriarchy?"

"What? Sure, but it's usually the stallion that pops that question. Besides, she's a maid. Assuming authority is so far outside her usual day, I wouldn't expect her to take the lead in that." She hopped down from the bed, stretching out. "Didn't answer the question. Do you want to marry her? Do you like her back, or just being a randy stallion, enjoying the fun?"

It wasn't as if I wasn't enjoying the fun, but Water was a person too. "We should get to court. We'll see how much Water wants to be around when I start working outside this castle and we both get dirty."

Easy strode for the door easily. "Already ahead of ya, boss. Today we watch, right? Easy."

We worked through the halls to join the line that was already formed in front of the court doors. Soft was not there, or at least not near us. Some of the other nobles watched us, or more me, but most were busy having little conversations about upcoming things they wanted to bring up at court.

"Pardon," inquired a female to my right. The tall and slender unicorn was looking me up and down. "I've been meaning to ask you a few questions, if you've the time?"

I didn't know who she was, but I figured that was true for a lot of ponies. They knew me, from the fuss I'd made. "What's up?"

She glanced upwards as if something may actually be there, but they fell quickly to me. "Is it true you've run clandestine operations on Princess Celestia's behalf?"

That was a touchy question! "I've done nothing illicit or underhanded."

She smiled a little. "Good to hear. Tell me, what is your goal? You don't have a house."

"No I do not," I easily agreed. Being the only human, trying to lie about that would only be good for laughs. "I just want to make Equestria a better place."

She hike a brow at me, her long tail curling a little. "Noble words, but empty pretty words are easy to speak, strange sir. We all want for something, you would be better speaking of those wants, rather than to claim you have none."

Easy was suddenly between us, popping right between my legs to get in the way. "Look, it isn't complicated," she huffed out. "He's one of those ponies that wants to be remembered in books, maybe get a statue or three for leaving a legacy worth remembering. That isn't so strange is it?"

The mare recoiled in surprise, but it turned to a smile moment's later. "That is understandable. Thank you." She nodded to Easy gently. "And you are?"

I interjected that time, "This is Easy Breeze, my manager."

"She manages you?" asked the noble looking unicorn.

"I manage things for him, and sometimes him. Whatever needs managing, I'm there." She thumped her chest with a proud grin. "The door's opening. Let's go."

We filed into the court, taking our seats. The mare whose name I hadn't gotten did not sit near us, but Soft appeared, sinking down beside us. "Good morning. I'll be giving my announcement. Please wish me luck, and thank you both for coming."

I sat up in my chair. "You sound nervous."

"And why would I not be?" He raised a brow. "Though I am the bearer of good news, it will be tacit confession that I had contact with her before now. Few will believe that she suddenly picked an entirely random pony to make this announcement through. If it should come to it, I do hope you two will speak on my behalf." He cleared his throat softly. "I only meant the best for all involved."

The council arrived, minus two. Psychic Granny would not be returning... And the war-mongerer was gone. Had he been punished properly? What was that punishment? I wondered silently as they began the ritual with the greeting of the sun, speaking their thanks for those who sacrificed themselves to bring us this far.

Celestia nodded to the crowd, her eyes sweeping over me an instant, seeing me, but not lingering there. "There are now two holes in our ranks, holes we cannot abide. This is not a matter of disrespect for those who have vacated them--"

"--Except one," shouted out a mare, getting soft chuckles around her.

Celestia coughed into a hoof. "As I was saying, the government must go on. Now is the time to step forward, should you have interest in assuming this heavy responsibility."

Hooves rose, glares were given and received. A few loud shouts got some hooves to lower as ponies bullied and socially shoved to scare some right out of the race before it properly began.

The female council member nodded. "I've taken down the names of those stepping forward. We'll be in touch."

Soft stood up. "Forgive my interruption, Council, but I have dreadfully important news to share."

Celestia's ears perked right up towards Soft. "Yours is not a face I typically associate with rudeness. Soft Touch, what inspires you to stand up so suddenly?"

Soft bowed his front forward. "I bring word from her. She is willing to step down from her agressions and return to civilian life, if she is permitted to do so. The civil war can be over at your word, with her followers disbanding simultaneously, provided amnesty is offered to them in return for peace, that Equestria may advance as a unified people once more."

Celestia looked left and right, meeting the surprised looks of the other council members. They all leaned in closed to one another, heated whispers going back and forth before the stallion sat up, hoof raised. "If she is willing to put aside her desire for war, we will not be outdone in the name of peace."

The mare nodded quickly. "Any pony that sets down their weapon and returns to more gainful employment within the next moon will be forgiven and welcome in society."

Celestia inclined her head softly. "Starting with her spy."

Soft tensed even as he bowed again. "I am... overjoyed to see this ugly affair set down for the betterment of the nation."

Celestia raised a hoof lightly. "You, Soft, I confess to surprise... Still, the motion passes." All three of them brought down a hoof as one, clopping the decree into existence. "Tell them, they have until the end of the next moon to disperse. Those who remain ready for battle will be treated as outlaws."

"I always knew he was up to something," whispered a pony a row or two back from me. Other similar grumbles spread. Poor Soft had taken a severe social hit doing what he did. Would he ever be fully trusted again?

I reached over and laid a hand on his head, making him jump. I really should have stopped touching ponies so casually, but they were so pettable. "Soft, want to join my team? I could use a pony skilled with how noble channels flow."

His ears perked, the fur tickling the underside of my arm. "I... I would be delighted to help."

I had a feeling other jobs options would be dry for him for a while. Everyone would know he was a spy. I wasn't mad at him, and his working for me would help his reputation recover if we got things done.

"Just, um, Sir." He pointed up at my hand still resting on his head, his horn between two fingers. "We're not that familiar, Sir."

I pulled my hand back in a flash. "Sorry." How would I explain that they were just nice to pet? No reasonable way. I could lie and say humans did that, but they usually didn't pet one another. "With this war officially moving out of the picture, we can get to planning the next step."

He tilted his head faintly, looking past me towards Easy. "Is there a next step in mind?"

"Nope," she replied without hesitation. "But there's gonna be one." She raised a hoof, pointing at the council that was speaking on other matters. "We need to talk to them. If bits aren't being wasted on this stupid war, maybe we can get our hooves on some to start real work."

That reminded me. "There is a matter of the union." Trying to cut them out would create a ripple of bad feelings that could cripple the project in the long term. "Let's go see what they need, and being a member may have other advantages when it comes time to start building."

Soft nodded softly. "Very good, Sir, Ma'am. Shall I see to their needs?"

Could he do that? It was tempting... "I should probably put my own hands on that. I have a feeling they'll be deeply involved with this project. I'll want you there, mind. Let's reconvene after court and get started with that."

We shared a nod of agreement, a shared purpose in our chests. It felt good, to be reaching for what I had come for in the first place.

"Miss Breeze?" asked Celestia, looking to Easy Breeze, who was waving a hoof excitedly. "You are not on the docket. The court recognizes you for just one minute. Please proceed."

Easy sat up tall, clearing her throat. "We've done everything asked of us. We want to get building. Can we have some budget put aside for that soonish? We're ready to go!"

That was not how I would have put it. It was not how Soft would have put it either, gauging from his subtle look of surprise from Easy's direct approach.

Author's Note

Ah Easy. I am entirely cool with your presence. Soft joins the forming company of builders. The war looks like it is really ending. Good news all around, yes? Where are the typos...?

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30 - Budgetary Concerns

The mare, not Celestia, raised a hoof. "It falls to me to oversee the budgetary needs of local projects. I will hear your proposals outside of court and give it proper consideration." She nodded towards Celestia. "We should move on."

"Agreed. Next on the docket..." Court proceeded as if the war wasn't even a topic. Things were still tense, and people had plenty of needs that weren't being met, but I wanted to think that would start to change. As the rebels found their ways home to jobs and it become a fading memory, ponies could focus on more important things.

When the court adjourned, ponies began to filter out. "I hope she paid well," spat a random stallion at Soft before stomping out with the rest. Soft grumbles implied others shared the idea. Soft shrank a little with a sigh.

"I knew what I was signing on for," he consoled himself. I really wanted to pet him right about then. He looked like a puppy that had been kicked and I wanted to make it all better again. I kept my hands away from him though.

I kept it professional. "Let's go see a union."

"Let's." That was not him, or Easy. I turned to see the rounded form of Miss Mason, the guild mistress, standing there with a raised brow. "We were just going to ask about that. It seems you've been quite busy... Mmm, and union? We don't go by that name. Let's put that aside." She tossed her head towards the exit. "Shall we go have a chat? We have so much that needs to be settled. Now, preferably."

Easy waved her hooves a bit wildly. "We were just going to go looking for you!"

"How fortunate." She did not look away from me. "Then we both want to talk. Let's go."

When all three of us started for the exit, Miss Mason peered at Soft. "Why is he coming?"

I put out a hand between him and Mason. "He's with us. You should be thankful he helped broach the agreement that will see bits flowing freely into your, and your guildmate's, coffers."

Her brows went up together. "Mmm? There's another side of this? I want to hear." She moved on, her retinue drifting behind her. The matter of Soft was put to rest for the moment.

We all burst free of the courtroom. While most ponies were scattering, some in pairs or triplets, we were a large group of guild members and my plucky group of three. There was a place I could remember in town. It was one of the cleanest places, which is why it was fresh on the mind. "I know a place we can enjoy a nice lunch and talk business."

Mason's expression brightened. "Have you been studying me? I'm charmed. Very well, lead on, good sir. I will be judging your choice."

It was in part because she was large, but I was also just hungry after a waiting through all of the court session. "This way." I led all the ponies, my two hooves joining the small riot of clip-clops behind me. This was more like how I imagined coming to Equestria to be like, talking to important ponies and getting things done. I liked it.

The city was a mess. That hadn't changed the instant of the announcement. That would have been nice, but not terribly realistic. I wove through the streets determinedly. "I saw this place when we were doing the city survey."

Easy snorted softly. "And you never invited me to it? Boss!"

I held up a hand. "I'm doing that right now." There it was. It had nice little curtains out front and the street around it was clean, the tiles scrubbed and fresh. "This one."

Mason nodded as she approached. "A fine choice, if a little on the pricey side. I trust this is a sign of what is to come?" She laughed as she took the lead, guiding the way up the small steps to the door.

It opened just before she reached it, another pony standing in the doorway, a unicorn. "This way, madame. Party of..." His head bobbed and I could imagine him counting us quickly. "Ten?" When she nodded, he pointed to a table and pulled the door wider for the rest of us to proceed.

The interior was brightly lit. Soft music played from nowhere, with not a band in sight. It was some sort of classical arrangement, but they weren't playing any song I could claim familiarity with. The image of a ponified Beethoven hopped to my mind.

The table we were directed to was large enough to comfortably seat ten ponies in a circle, with a low and wide seat with a cushion for each of them. I flopped into mine with less than complete grace. Pony legs were tricky to get used to, especially when the rest of you wasn't built the same.

A waiter hurried over with a smile. "Hello and welcome! It's an honor to see such dignified guests." He was looking at Miss Mason in particular. That didn't surprise me. "Let's start with drinks--"

She held up a hoof for quiet and he stopped talking instantly. "Get my ponies a large barrel of beer and enough steins for the lot of them." She turned her hoof to herself. "I'll take a whiskey, top shelf." She looked over towards me with a silent question.

I would have ordered a soda, but those didn't exist. Water wasn't as safe as it could have been. "I'll take a light wine. Easy, Soft?"

Easy thrust up a hoof. "Give me..." Her hoof began to fall. "I... what do you suggest?"

The waiter gestured to a broad wall of liquor options. Bottles on bottles. "We just got a fresh bottle in just today. It smells exquisite, if you are partial to brandies?"

"That." She nodded firmly. "I'll try that."

"Excellent." He looked to Soft.

Soft shook his head. "I'll take whatever fresh fruit beverage is available."

"We have a pear-based slice of pleasure. I know you'll like it." He made a final note with a floating quill. "I'll be right back."

The moment he was out of earshot, Mason's ears turned towards me. "Now let's begin. Do you see us as an obstacle to be worked around, Mister Langerman?"

I set my hands down flat on the table. "On the contrary. You know the area. You know the people who work here. I haven't reached out to you yet because I had nothing to offer you."

"Mmm?" She eyed me, perhaps with suspicion, but I couldn't quite place it. "You do wish to build things, do you not?"

"Not myself." I offered a hand towards her. "I have ideas and notions. Others will do the heavy lifting, and others need to oversee them." I moved the same hand to gesture at Easy. "Hence getting a manager to start."

Easy saluted sharply. "Reporting for duty."

"But she isn't a builder."

"What? I mean, no, I guess not." Easy rubbed behind her head. "Still a manager..."

Mason smiled brightly. "I think I have an understanding. You did not join the guild because you never intend to." She leaned forward, that smile deepening. "And you never intend to because you want to hire the guild, not take part in it."

I nodded towards her. "Exactly. There was a workgroup that I hear has ties with the guild, led by one Work Pants? Good pony. I'd like him on the project."

Mason jerked at that, ears going upright. "Him?! But--" She fell off abruptly as several waiters approached. A large keg of beer was set by her minions to enjoy, steins placed out with them, one in front of each pony. A delicate glass was put in front of me and filled tall, as the others were served theirs. Different drinks had different glasses. I heard there was a point to that, but I didn't remember it at the time.

I lifted my glass in a uniquely human way I doubted the ponies would match, the stem between pointer and middle finger. "I propose a toast, to making the city better, one laid brick at a time."

Soft raised his glass in his magic. "To successful partnerships."

Easy's glass lifted up, glowing with her magic. "To brighter tomorrows!"

Miss Mason would not be outdone. She lifted her wider glass with a sultry smile. "Let's clean up this city. As you said, one brick at a time." Glasses and steins met in a chorus of tinks and clanks. "Now then... Why him? He hasn't performed a project in some time... I can get you quality ponies, a dozen of them, tomorrow. You have but to name the location."

He wasn't even a member of the guild anymore. I knew that. I knew she knew that. She was trying to discourage my choice without telling me that. Work Pants needed the work, and I was sure he'd work hard and long. He'd also drag his people with him, and they could do something besides mug ponies on the street. "I feel he is the perfect fit. Besides, now that this little... incident is over, there's no reason not to get him back to work where he can do the most good."

She frowned a little, but it eased away. "Speaking of that." Her eyes darted to Soft. "Tell me how he put bits in my purse."

Soft tipped his head as he took a sip from his glass. "That I can answer, ma'am. I was a communication channel between the lady in question and the going-ons of the court. It was my intervention that helped end it as soon as it did, and with it, money can go towards better things."

Easy thrust forward a hoof. "Like building!"

"Yes, like that." He nodded towards her before looking back at Mason. "I am quite glad the matter has been put to rest. I have already pledged my services to Mister Langerman to see to that building."

I set my glass down, half-drained. "Without him, there would be at least another three months of this fruitless war, possibly more. I'm very certain of that figure. Similarly--" I leaned forward a little, hands crossing and fingers interweaving. "Work Pants proved himself in this task, assisting me in a dangerous trip to put this matter to bed. He never once complained despite the hardships, and was always ready to work. I want him on the project."

Admitting bias seemed to ease her. "Returning a favor, are we?" She tapped a hoof lightly on the table, then glared at the waiter when he went past. "Dinner, bring it."

"Yes, Ma'am!" He hurried away in a rush.

"As I was saying." She brought her forehooves together. Was she imitating me? Flattery, or was she trying to show she could be sympathetic. I'd read about that sort of thing. Copy what the other person did to look more familiar. "Very well then. I will reach out to him and see if he'll accept the job. That does depend on the exact nature of the project." She leaned forward, her chin touching where her hooves met. "Which means I want specifics, now if you would be so kind. What is it you plan to build with my ponies?"

"Water!" exclaimed Easy in a blurt. Many eyes turned to her and she went quiet.

"It starts with water," I agreed. "But hardly ends there. The first leg of the project is to get clean water flowing into this city, running directly into pony's homes where they can use it as they wish. No public wells and their related problems." I extended a pointer and swayed it between each unicorn present. "No magic either. Nothing but clever brickwork and gravity will get the water where we want it, ready to drink, wash, do laundry, or anything else a pony might want."

She softly hummed.

Author's Note

Building! Are we getting to that? It feels like we're getting to that! Woo!

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31 - Project Review

We began to hash out details. I brought out my phone to show some pictures of some of the things I wanted. "I'm thinking a ram pump is--"

"Ram pump?" Mason frowned at me. "Explain."

"Alright, there is a source of water, right? One primary place the water comes from?" I waved vaguely, not knowing where it was.

"Sure." She firmly nodded. "There are two sources." She raised a hoof. "Magic." She raised her other forehoof. "A spring a small walk from the city."

"We'll ignore that first one. Is this spring above or below the city?"

"Below." She rolled her eyes. "As if it would be that easy, Water Bringer."

Easy gestured grandly at him. "I bet he already has an answer. Show 'em, Boss."

I flipped to a diagram. "A ram pump uses the power of falling water to send water flowing uphill."

Mason's brows fell as one. "You're going to have to explain that a little better."

"Falling water has energy. If you've ever felt it dropping on you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah?" She rolled a hoof before taking a sip of her whiskey. "Mm, right, as it falls, certainly, until it hits something, then it's gone. What of it?"

"Energy is never 'gone', just moving." I could see their confused looks, all of them. "Alright, so you get a lot of water to flow down, then you trap it when it's moving fast and squeeze it right back up." I trailed a finger along the parts of the pump at work. "There are only two moving parts, so it shouldn't need a lot of upkeep. We need water coming up here, right to the city. After that, we start getting it right where we want it."

Soft inclined his head a little. "If the water is coming in through a single pipe, you could enchant the pipe to clean the water."

Easy clopped her forehooves. "Great idea! One little enchantment could clean everypony's water. It wasn't, you know, practical to do that for a whole spring, but one pipe? That wouldn't be hard."

Mason shook her head. "I don't entirely grasp how... that works, but we'll get it built. We'll lay the pipes and make sure they're sealed and ready for the water. You'll need smiths for this pump of yours. I know a few, and can put you in contact. When do we start this little experiment?"

I curled my thumb, hiking it towards the castle. "We have to meet with the budgeting council member and get funds set aside for exactly this. Once I have a specific amount, we can start."

Mason smiled, a full-face expression. "Then it has been a pleasure. You will find our organization treats its clients well, and you are now one of them." She offered a hoof towards me. "Apologies for the misunderstandings before. Let's put that quite behind us and get to building."

One of her subordinates gave a soft clopping, soon joined by the others. One of them, a mare, raised a hoof in a thrust. "To new projects!" A cry that was soon joined by the others.

Easy grinned widely. "Time for dinner? I'll have to manage soon, and a good manager needs food."

"As you request." Waiters showed up, not one, but about three, working together to get plates and dishes all across the table, ready for the dinner. "Please, enjoy," bid the original waiter, dipping his head. "It's always a pleasure, Ma'am."

Mason tittered softly. "As if I could stay away. Now run along." She made a gentle shooing motion and the waiters vanished. "You picked this place just to grease the wheels... An excellent choice."

I hadn't! I had no idea she knew of the place, or frequented it. I didn't say that. "Let's enjoy dinner."

"I'll cover this." She nodded towards the feast. "You aren't paid until after you speak with the council, is that not right?"

I considered fishing out some of the bits I had, hot to defend my honor! I realized even as my hand twitched towards a pocket that it would be a bad idea. She was trying to show generosity and a willingness to treat her clients favorably. Insisting on paying my part would just insult her and sour things. "Thank you. Your reputation is well-deserved."

She grinned a little. "All of it, good and bad. Tonight, we eat." Her horn glowed and brought some food to her waiting snout. Talking was over.

The food was quite good, allow me to say. I won't bore you with the details of it, but it did make me think. All ponies needed to be just as happy. Maybe not eating as fancy of foods, but in a clean place, safe and secure as they did so. That wasn't too much to ask for them, I decided. I would do my part to bring it to them.

Still... They had mentioned magic. Magic in my marvelous engineering! ... Was that so bad? A little magic to filter things actually sounded pretty good, and if it was at the start of the system, it would service everyone at once, instead of being a luxury good each person required. We just needed to keep the pipes clear and ready.

But who would actually be doing that enchantment? "Mason, do you have a recommendation on that enchantment?"

Easy suddenly prodded me in the side. "You have a star spellcaster right next to you and you don't even ask her?!"

Soft hiked a brow across me towards Easy. "Are you capable of such feats?"

"Well, no, still..." She tapped her forehooves lightly together. "Should have asked..."

Mason swallowed what she had been working on. "I know a few ponies, but I bet the council could arrange a royal caster, even better." She rolled a hoof. "Take advantage of the position you're in. I'll get it built, but they'll get it cast. Not the same thing."

"Sounds like a plan." I glanced aside at Easy. "You were here to be a performer, and became a manager. I didn't dare believe you could fit even more awesome into one package."

She burst into a rough laughter. "Flatterer! Forgiven." She floated up her mostly-drained glass. "To having a great boss."

"I'll raise to that." Soft brought up his own glass in his magic, tinking it against Easy's lightly. "I look forward to starting. Do we have an appointment with the council?"

"We don't," I admitted. "I was going to look into that tomorrow. I presume this case calls for a meeting outside the courtroom."

"It does, and you will leave it to me." He gestured to his chest. "I know my way around that. I'll have the meeting arranged by sundown tomorrow, though I can't assure the meeting itself will take place then."

Mason waved it away. "The palace moves at its own speed." Leaning forward a little, she smirked at me. "The important part is having their eyes, and you have that. That makes you valuable."

A valuable thing she planned to make use of, I gathered. At least the food was good. "Hopefully we'll push past this part soon enough and get started. It's why I came here."

Mason hiked a brow. "That eager to leave your mark on the world?"

"I want to leave it better than I found it." I smiled a little, thinking of the future Equestria, where clean water wasn't even a thought. I knew it was possible.

Soft inclined his head faintly. "You have the look of someone with a vision... Like you can just see the project already completed."

Easy pointed at Soft. "And you don't? You took a big risk... for a reason, right? I mean, it wasn't the easy way out, that's for sure."

"No... That it was not." He coughed softly into a hoof. "I'm glad it's behind us, however well it is resolved now." His eyes fell towards my equine legs. "At what point do you intend to repair yourself?"

"Is that an option?" I hiked a brow. "Poison joke isn't a very well understood phenomenon at this point."

"This point?" He frowned with thought. "Then go to the point where it is known?"

Well, crap. I had used bad phrasing there. "Sorry, misspoke. No one has the answer to this. There's no cure, so I'm stuck with it." I wiggled my hooves, wobbling them a bit where they rested on the floor. "It's not all bad."

He cracked a little smile. "I should imagine being a pony isn't a terrible thing, or so I have discovered... Still, it is not what you were. I would be quite vexed to become... what you were, Sir. No offense towards you, but it is not what I am."

Easy suddenly nudged against me. "He's a stallion with his eyes on the prize! He wants to build things and get things done and who cares if he gets a few hooves or a tail along the way?"

That wasn't an entirely incorrect way of viewing it... "I'm still hoping Water figures something out."

"Water?" Mason looked over from her meal with some curiosity.

Easy waved it away. "Just a friend we have that knows a lot about plants, like the one that gave Ian here a set of handsome hooves."

"Wait, they're handsome?" Could hooves be handsome?

Easy burst into laughter. "I mean, they would be, but then they lead to the rest of your weird body. Water likes it though, so it isn't a total loss."

One of the stallions with Mason lifted a mug in his magic. "To new projects!"

"They already said that. Is your horn poking you the wrong way?" A fellow beside him gave him a rough nudge, both laughing for it.

It was a perfectly fine dining experience. We parted ways after that with smiles and waves. I supposed they had little reason to be upset anymore. I went from a potential rival to a potentially-lucrative client in an instant. That was a better place to be... I fiddled with my phone on the way back.

Soft took his leave with a bow. "I do not have leave to stay here, in the castle. I will return in the morrow and secure that appointment for you, Sir. Have no doubt."

"I trust you to see to that." I tucked the phone away to offer a hand. He met it with a hoof, though he looked a little bemused when I shook his hoof.

Easy snorted softly. "Next time just ball up your hand." She put out her hoof, Soft already gone. "Tap it."

A hoofbump, right. "I blame the drink." I met her offered hoof with a soft thump of my knuckles. "I have to make sure a ram pump is the best solution. We should go see that spring and what kind of situation we'll be looking at. If it flows in a river, that gives us a lot more power to work with."

She tilted her head left and right. "Oh, like a mill? Except... instead of grinding oats and things, you're moving water."

I had to smile at that. "Yes, exactly. That's another kind of pump we could use. There are countless ways to get water moving, we just have to pick the one that will work for this situation."

We were arriving back at our room. Opening the door revealed a pony with her head already bowed towards us. Water smiled brightly. "I had hoped you would return soon."

I reached for her head. She liked it when I touched her, so there was no foul there. I think she likes the feel of my bare skin against her fur. Good thing too, since I liked the feel of her fur against my skin. I gently stroked one of her ears. "I hope we didn't keep you waiting long, Water."

"Just a few minutes," she assured, though I didn't feel certain. She could have waited hours and would likely report the same. "Now that you are back, may we forget formalities?"

That was her way of saying 'I want to be your girlfriend now and not a maid.'

"Let's." I closed the door behind the snickering Easy. She knew what we would likely be doing, and it only amused her.

Author's Note

Dinner complete! Success, I think. Tomorrow, get funds, then, get building! What kind of pump would you use to supply the city? Is using a splash of magic a good idea or not?

32 - Magic Consultation

I sat across a desk from a pony stroking their beard. "Hmm," he mused softly. "A curious request."

"A simple thing." Underplaying the importance and magnitude of its effects seemed prudent. "The focus is on longevity and ruggedness. All it has to do it clean any water passing through a pipe. I want nothing but pure water coming through. Not even the tiniest specks of anything else should get past." I wasn't quite ready to break his mind with germ theory.

"And what would be done with what it catches?" he asked with a raised brow. "Destroy it?"

"What are the options, and their costs?"

"Lay it all out," spoke Easy, reminding me that she was there. "So we can make a pick."

"Well, destroying all that is not-water will cost the most to start, but be least likely to have long term issues." He tapped his hooves together lightly. "The most expensive part of this process will be procuring Pure Water." He said it with capital letters, you could tell. "That never comes cheaply, but is required for the creation of magic that creates entirely pristine water, either wholecloth or rendering existing water. You're looking for the latter, if I understand correctly?"

"Right." But... "If Pure Water is literally pure water, I think I can arrange that."

His brows went up together. "Can you?" His horn glowed, setting an ornate jug down in front of us. "I will require this to be filled then. It should be clear enough to be entirely transparent and taste of nothing but water. It will be the example the magic will cleave to and strive for."

"This may be a silly question..." I reached for the jug, drawing it closer. "But why not take already pure water from an existing water production point? That would be free and easily available."

He smiled softly. "You would think that. I can't even hold offense to the thought. Every mage thinks that until corrected. Water created wholecloth by magic is subtly different than true Pure Water. Using created water as Pure Water creates an unfavorable taste and texture, and we do not suggest it. This is why it is costly, for it must be done right."

Except I knew how to filter water, especially manually and for one specific purpose rather than building a filter that would last years on my own. "I'll provide that, without magic."

"I look forward to what you can do," he said with some doubt in his voice. "Putting that aside, if you can do that, you've removed much of the cost. The enchantment in this case is rudimentary. We can place it on a ring to be fit snugly around the pipe to be cleaned. Will you be providing a ring of the correct size?"

I felt like we were making progress. "I can work that out. Besides fitting on the pipe tightly, how large should it be?"

He held up two hooves about an inch apart. "This wide. A little longer will give us more room, but no smaller. If you're providing the ring, we can't start until you bring it to me." His ears suddenly perked. "Ah, do use the purest metals."

"Define pure?"

Easy thrust up a hoof. "He means it should be free of rust, dirt, and other things like that. It should be nice and shiny, inside and out."

The mage nodded. "As she said. Cut-rate smiths may produce metals lacking in that, and magic does not hold as well to such metal. If you want it to last, make sure to use only the finest materials."

Stainless steel would be nice... but extremely beyond Equestria's current industrial base. "I'll find a quality smith and return with the ring, and the Pure Water." I hefted the jug. "So if I'm providing both of those, what will the cost be?"

"Then all that would remain for us to do is place the final spell on the ring. Are you certain you would not want water created? It's much more reliable." He furrowed his brows a little. "We can fill a tub in moments without issue."

I wanted to fill all the tubs in the entire city... "That reminds me. Assuming this was placed around a pipe, would there be a limit in how much water can pass through it or how quickly it flowed to be effectively cleaned."

He snorted at that. "Provided you don't damage the pipe, our magic will operate on all water that passes through it. Be mindful living things don't pass through... it would end poorly for them."

That was good, but also meant we should avoid allowing fish to slam into the deadly magical trap, though... "I'll bear that in mind, thank you."

"So what's the cost?" asked Easy with no subtlety.

I held up a hand at that. "This will not be the only project I have, just the first."

That seemed to relax him. I figured he was hoping I would be an opportunity for funds, just as Mason had. "That will vary partially based on the size of the ring. But to give an estimate..." A paper slid forward with numbers spread across it, showing different sizes to different costs.

What intrigued me right away was that the larger rings cost less to enchant. "Query, if the ring was broken, so it could be easily attached to the pipe and clasped into place, would that affect things?"

The mage shrugged softly. "Bring it to us already clasped. It will not function until it is clasped again. If that is all, I should resume my duties. It was a pleasure." He nodded lightly but made no motion to move.

It was our turn to get out. We said our goodbyes and departed, a jug in my hands. Easy hopped ahead lightly in a sprightly trot. "Well that went well. Those numbers don't even look too scary. I mean, I wouldn't want to pay it, but for what you're doing, not bad."

I needed a better feel for Equestrian economy and how far the bit went. From what I had experienced so far, the rings weren't cripplingly expensive. About 3 of the dinners we had enjoyed for all the ponies present to get something that would last for quite some time and service so many other ponies?

"I can see why a common pony couldn't afford anything like it."

Easy nudged into me. "There was a reason he tried to talk you up into making water. Bet it's more expensive."

"And slower." A tub in moments really was nothing for an entire city's demands. "Next step:"

"--Wait for Soft?"

An option, but... "I'd rather have a look at the water source. No matter how Soft's efforts go, we need to know the lay of the land." I hiked a thumb towards the exit. "Ready for a hike?"

She stuck out her tongue, but veered towards the exit through the halls. "Yes, Sir. Pity I never learned how to teleport."

I walked alongside her, watching the guards standing at their stations and the nobility that filtered through the halls with us. "How hard is that kind of magic?" Twilight could do it, in the future, and Starlight, but that was only two confirmed unicorns out of untold others.

"Simple, in theory." She twitched an ear. "In practice, complicated. The penalties for messing up are pretty high too. I'd rather walk for a good few tens of years than teleport wrong for a day, you know?"

We emerged from the castle into the light of day. A guard cleared his throat. "Sir, should I call a carriage?"

When did I get carriage access? "If one can take us to the edge of town, closest to the water source?"

"Of course, Sir." He dipped his head and left. There was another guard there, the post not unattended.

Easy laughed triumphantly. "Or we can ride in style, that works too. They must be starting to like you in there, Boss."

"Us. They like us."

Her smile only grew. "Yeah. Let's go check out that water."

A carriage eventually came up to the steps and we went down to meet it. The interior was simple and soft and we were born along bouncily through the streets. The best part was perhaps that fragrances in the wagon kept most of the foul odors in the city at bay.

We were soon there, announced with a rapping on the roof. We disembarked and the unicorn driver nodded towards us before he pulled on the leads. He did not lead horses, they were ponies with the leads attached to their sides, not their mouths. They followed the directions though and soon started back into the city.

Ponies helping pull other ponies along? It was... different. It worked for them, and if the ponies were paid well, what harm was there? "Alright, where is the water source?"

Easy pointed as she walked. "This way, down the hill."

I looked up at the purplish stone that made up the mountain rising higher still away from Canterlot, then followed Easy along. It wasn't that far, maybe a ten minute hike through the countryside before we started hearing the gurgling of water. There it was, a pool of water that ran off into a river going down the mountain. "Perfect, almost... Where does this water come from?"

"Come from?" Easy squinted a little. "What do you even mean by that?"

"Water does not just... happen, magic excepted. This water is going that way." He thrust a finger in the direction of the river. "But it had to come from somewhere. I'd like to know where that is."

She looked left and right. "I don't see any rivers leading to here, so don't know, boss."

Well, logic time. Water. It moved sideways to diffuse, and it moved down to follow gravity. It went upwards only when it was vapor. This wasn't a raincloud, so up was not a direction it was moving. My eyes turned to the mountain that rose above Canterlot. "This isn't the source."

"Is isn't? Sure looks like a source..."

"Do you have a water breathing spell?"

Easy blinked rapidly. "Huh? Sure." She lowered her head at me and with a bright fit of sparkles, a bubble was made around my head. "Ta da! I used to love that spell for hiding underwater and playing pranks during the summer. Poor little colts never knew what hit them."

I smiled at the image of a young Easy impishly pranking people with her magic. "Can you do yourself at the same time, and how long does it last?"

"Sure." Her horn glowed as a new bubble appeared, her voice sounding a little distant going through it, "It'll last as long as I power it. It's not that stressful as spells go. What are we doing with it?"

I pointed into the pond. "We're going for a swim. Do you know how to swim?"

Her eyes half-closed. "Didn't I just tell you what I used this spell for? Of course I know how to swim." She divested herself of her clothing without delay, folding them neatly in her magic. "You going to get naked? I know you're all touchy about that, but, really, I've seen you going to town on Water... you have literally no mysteries left for me."

My cheeks began to burn without my input on the matter. "Mostly..." I was soon down to boxers. I set the rest aside carefully. Plunging my phone into the depths certainly felt like a bad idea.

She snorted softly. "Those hide nothing." She rolled her eyes towards the water. "Are we looking for something, or just enjoying a little swim? I'm not opposed to either. It's been a while since I had a good swim."

"I have a feeling we'll get that..." That was, possibly, an ill-advised idea... "We're going to swim against the current. Wherever the current is going, we'll go the opposite way until we can't anymore."

Author's Note

Good idea, bad idea, or terrible idea? You decide!

The filter won't be onerous to obtain, hirrah! With it being on a clasp, the pipe can be replaced if needed without busting the filter in the process.

34 - The Water of Canterlot

We collected the water in a jug, fresh from the spring. "Tell me, any idea how safe ponies consider this source?"

Easy shrugged and looked to Work. Work considered the mostly clear water. "We drink from here quite often. Ponies do not typically bathe in it, sir."

"What do they bathe in?" Considering the scents around the city... "Or do they just not unless they are both rich and feeling it?"

"That is the right of it." He reached for the jug, tapping at its watery contents from the side. "What did you need water for, sir? You're staying at the castle. Surely they could have gotten no limit of water for you."

Easy floated the big jug up. "You can't make Pure Water out of magic water; learned that earlier." She turned to me. "Alright, so what's the trick?"

"Step one, we need to get a good metal pot. Think they'll lend us one at the castle?" I was dressed and good to go, looking towards the castle. "Imagine they have some."

Work nodded. "Without doubt." His horn began to glow as he joined his arcane grip with Easy's, sharing the load. "I'll help."

We made our way back to the castle. At my side, Work Pants were permitted inside without much todo. A quick inquiry pointed us towards the kitchen where everything I needed resided. There were pots, and flames. Perfect.

I grabbed a pot that looked big enough to hold all the water we had collected and set it on a free burner.

"Excuse me?" came a male voice. A peek over my shoulder revealed a pony in a chef's attire. "Can I help you? If you want something prepared, you just need to ask."

"Sorry for intruding." I patted the stovetop. "I just need to use this for a little bit and I'll be right out of the way as soon as possible."

Without prompting, Easy hefted the jug in her magic and poured it out into the pot.

The chef seemed befuddled. "Why are you bringing your own water? We have a spout just there." He pointed to a spigot attached to the wall. "Clear water on demand."

Magic water, I safely assumed. "No, thanks. Do you have a lid for this pot? That'd be great. The better the fit, the better." I was looking around for one, but there were a lot of tools to choose from.

A lid floated over in the chef's magic, popping right over the pot. "What are you preparing, exactly?"

Work reached out to turn on the flames under the pot. "Pure Water, I'm told, sir."

The chef only looked more confused. "You're performing alchemy, in my kitchen?"

I had to smile at that. "It's a kitchen. You've been doing alchemy in here from the start."

The chef frowned a moment before a little smile emerged from it. "You may have a point there, sir. Will this create any foul odors I should be concerned of?"

"Just boiling water," I assured. "Nothing should be hurt. We'll be gone after it's done, promise."

"Now I'm a little curious." He did have other things to do, being a royal chef. He went back to cooking, but kept looking over, keeping an idle eye on what we were doing.

Turns out? Watching water boil is still not terribly interesting. The water heated to a roiling boil which is when I set a timer for ten minutes on my phone and the waiting resumed. Some of the water escaped as steam, unavoidable, but the lid kept most of it in place.

My phone began chiming its alert. The boiling was complete. I reached for the knob and realized it was really made for a hoof to press against and twist, rather than human fingers to grasp. Thankfully Easy spotted my confusion and twisted it with her magic. "All done?"

"All done," I agreed. "Excuse me, is it alright if we keep this pot for a little while?"

The chef tilted his head, looking befuddled. "I suppose that shouldn't hurt too much. We have more pots. Please do bring it back when you're done." He leaned in towards the pot. "Is it pure now?"

"Pure enough." Sure, any solid material was still in there, but the creepy crawlies were removed. Minerally fortified! That was a bonus, right? I felt certain enough that the town wasn't suffering lead poisoning or similar. Of all the problems they had, that wasn't one of them. "Let's get this back to the room."

With a spot of teamwork, the metal pot was floated back to our room and set aside to cool, its lid fastened securely. Work smiled with a satisfaction of a job well done. "If that's all, I should stop loitering around here. A pleasure to assist, Sir."

Easy was suddenly at his side. "Don't be so fast. Pretty sure Boss wants to do more today."

I did. "Good eye. We have to hike up the mountain and find the real source of the water."

Work turned for the door. "It's quite a climb to the top of the mountain, Sir, Miss. If we want to do it, we'd best get started."

I patted him once on the back on the way past. "Have I mentioned I love your work ethic?"

"Comes with the name," he said in a pleased tone. We all marched out of the castle and turned out eyes to the cool purple-blue stones of the mountain and the sparse trees that dotted it.

Nothing to do but climb it... We left the city once more, aiming to climb up in the direction that the underwater river seemed to be coming from. Now, pony bodies were pretty good at some things, but human hands were still #1 for climbing. I thanked my simian ancestors for their climbing habits as I scaled from perch to perch, building up a sweat in the chilly air that had me alternately feeling hot and cold.

Easy dragged herself up to a platform and flopped onto it, heaving. "How... do you... climb so fast?" She sat up, huffing for breath. "Another one of your magics?"

Work collapsed beside her, just making it to the same ledge. "I normally enjoy my form, Miss, but his hands do seem quite suited to this task. Are we almost there?"

"I honestly couldn't say." I craned my neck to look up the mountain, but there wasn't much to see from that angle. "I'm hoping we'll see it when we get there. Until then, we keep climbing until there's nothing left to climb."

The sun progressed, noting the hours in its silent way. It was becoming evening by the time we found something worth mentioning. There it was! A pool of dark water. The rocks beneath it were the source of the darkness, the water clear and still. I reached into the water and could feel it flowing subtly, likely working its way back down the mountain to the pond we had started at. "Fantastic."

More than fantastic. I burst into relieved laughter.

"Eh, Boss, what's so funny?" Easy was peering at me with exhaustion and confusion. "I mean, we found water, hirrah and all that, but it's so far away... How is this better?"

Work shook his head slowly. "I have to agree with Miss Breeze. How does this improve the situation?"

"Having water higher up means we have gravity on our side, instead of fighting against it. Our options for getting the water through the city just went up." I was sitting next to the water, pony-legs folded under me. "Work, this is where the pipe has to start, big and strong, working down the mountain and into the city, to carry fresh water to everypony there."

Work rubbed at his cheek with the flat of a hoof. "I see... This will certainly be a significant task, but not impossible. Do you have the bits, Sir?" There was a desperate hope in his polite eyes. He was trying to hold back that desperation.

"Let's get back to the castle and find out if we do." I pulled out my phone and set a waypoint on the map of where the spring was. No reason to be unsure about that again in the future. "Ready to climb down?"

"No!" wailed Easy, flopping to the side, her hooves kicking out lamely. "Isn't there an easy way?"

Work trotted for the edge overlooking the city and suddenly sat down. "The view is quite... amazing."

We joined him and saw what he was looking at. There was Canterlot spreading out under us, lit with the darkening sun. It wasn't as bright as, say, a modern city, but it was quite nice as sights went. Easy sat next to Work and soon I joined them. Enjoying the sight seemed to ease some of our fatigue.

"Let's get down before it gets completely dark." I started down first, cheating with clever fingers that could find purchase where hooves could not.

Easy moaned in predicted effort, but she began to descend with Work and I. We were soon back where we had begun. Relatively soon. The moon was rising in the sky and it was becoming quite dark as we wove through towards the castle. We were all quite tired, but... "Today was a good day. We got a lot done."

And it wasn't quite over. With the water cooled in our absence, I hurried it over to our magician friend. "Here you are, Pure Water."

He tapped the pot softly. "Hmm... A cooking pot? A curious choice of tools. I should warn, if you did not properly purify the water, the filter could create contaminated water whose foul odors will sicken all that suffer it without further purification." He tilted his head. "Making it into wine, for instance."

Germ theory could not come fast enough... "It's clean and ready. I'll have the exact pipe to you as soon as possible. Can you start without that?"

"In part, but not in earnest until I have that measurement, or a sample of the pipe it will be affixed to." His horn glowed as the pot lifted and moved to the side. "I look forward to that."

Which left another pony to see. Soft. Fortunately for me, he was with Water, in my room. Both dipped their head towards me as I entered with Work and Easy. All of my...

I had friends. It was a silly realization, but I had built up a few friends in that new world, and it was kind of nice. They were more than casual employees or contractors. I liked them, and I think they liked me back. "Good to have everyone together. Soft, do you have good news for us?"

Soft smiled a satisfied smile. "I am pleased to announce that we have been given official leave to begin spending Canterlot's funds. We may begin as soon as possible. I have been given the details." His horn glowed as a paper floated into view. "Which I now give to you. This is all you need to give to any given pony for them to be able to retrieve the money from the vaults, provided you sign the promissory note. They said that you are authorized to spend 100,000 bits, to be reviewed and possibly renewed after 3 moons.

A choke of a sound brought my eyes to Work. Tears were escaping him, but he was trying so hard to compose himself. "It's real..."

I set a hand on his withers. "Go home, get some sleep, then gather your crew. How much do you need to have to pay their wages for a week?"

He stuttered a quick number, working it out as he said it, his hooves moving as if to help him do the calculations. "This is... too much. Today has been so very full, Sir..."

Easy set a hoof on him beside my hand. "Hey, take it easy. We're in this. We're gonna build something great!"

"Exactly." I scribbled the amount, but paused just as my quill reached the paper. "Does that include your pay, Work, as the crew's leader?"

The number hopped up a little, Work blushing at having forgot to pay himself. Soon he had the check, or the equivalent. He had bits, precious bits. Work could start.

Author's Note

Today was a good day, I say.

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35 - Building Initiated

The crew had complained about climbing up to where the work would begin, but the bits did the talking, as did Work Pants. "Come on, we're being paid, you've already got your first week under your belts. Let's show Canterlot that we can build something to last!"

I watched them climb up past me, taking note of who was there and not. Most of the ponies I had spotted before, that had attacked me, were there, but the one that had spoken to me directly was absent, perhaps still sulking? "Hey." He waved at one of the ones I recognized before he could get to climbing. "No hard feelings. No one was hurt. Let's get to work. Tell that to anyone that thinks I'm nursing a grudge."

The worker lifted an ear towards me, peering at me without looking directly, as ponies could do if they wanted. "We were ready to hurt you, Sir..."

"Water under the bridge. We have a job to do, together." I hadn't been hurt in any serious way, and grudges would only bite me right on my newly-fuzzied bottom in time. "All I want is my bits' worth of quality work. This is for Canterlot. We can make the city better though hard effort and careful planning."

"Right, Sir." He moved forward and started climbing up the wall, joining the others in the slow ascent towards the peak where the pool was they had to work with was.

I joined the ascending party, and eventually we were up at the top without anyone falling off the side, which was a thing I had worried about a bit on the way up. "We really need to make an easier way to get up here. Maybe that should be where we start?"

Work circled the pond, taking measure of it. "Mmm... Mmmm... So you want a great pipe that the water flows through and down the side?" He came over to the edge, not directly facing the city. "We'll need to dig, here, make a channel for the water to flow through and start going down hill. If we put the pipe in here, the water won't go anywhere."

Other ponies nodded in agreement, chatter rising up with how to get it done. None of them answered my question. They were on the job, and Work was their leader once more. I was their boss' boss, which made my words his problem more than theirs.

Easy sat down next to me. "Huh, they're eager to get started... Good! This is great, we can finally get somewhere." She clapped her hooves loudly. "Don't get me wrong, we got a lot done, but not, you know, what we wanted."

A shout came from below. Other workers had arrived with materials. Ponies from atop and the bottom worked together and lift them from spot to spot up the mountainside. It was a good time to be a unicorn at that specific moment, but I noticed the few earth ponies really carried their own as soon as things didn't need to float. They were doing it.

It was really happening. I wasn't even sure how to feel about it. Good, ultimately. I was getting something done.

With the arrival of the tools, they got to energetic work, digging out a tunnel for the water to flow through, starting from the dry end and working towards the water. Others were busy working on organizing what they had into neat piles to be used quickly on demand. They had been out of work for so long, but were getting right back into it as if they had never stopped.

The ground suddenly heaved. A started yelp was the first before other panicked noises, the shaking growing worse. The mountainside did not appreciate our digging and showed its displeasure in a sudden collapse. Water gushed free out the collapsed side and began to cascade down towards the city. I could only watch with set teeth, wondering if the good will I'd earned would be washed away with the city, but it didn't strike the city.

It came down in great splashes, creating uneven rivers and waterfalls down the mountain's side until it hit the city's level and snaked forcefully, digging out a river from the soft mud there and flowing out from there, spilling down the side of the mountain.

I blinked softly at the sight. "Is... everyone alright?"

"Role call!" bellowed Work Pants. Other ponies began calling out their names, taking stock of who was there. Work turned to me with a scowl. "Two missing, Sir. Day Job! Hard Hat! Tell me you're out there!"

Other ponies had been caught in that initial collapse, and they were covered in mud and dirt, but were flopped on the ground, breathing heavily but seemingly intact.

Easy drew a sharp hiss. "On it, Boss." She suddenly vanished.

I thought she couldn't teleport? Though, come to think, she had said she preferred not to, due to the risks involved. Where was she going? I went to the edge, carefully, lest it collapse again. I heard something, a soft groan. I fell to all fours and crawled forward across the unsure ground to get towards it. "Is someone out there?"

The sound did not repeat, but I pushed forward. Behind me, other ponies were gathering, but they seemed just as nervous about the ground giving out, so they let me go alone, rather than test it with more weight. Probably for the best, I decided. Over the lip and looking down, I could see one of the workers. He was on dry land, mostly. The ground was stained red around him, implying a severe injury. "Oh shit."

I wasn't thinking, exactly. I started climbing down towards the pony. "He's hurt, bad," I screamed as I went, scrambling down the mountainside at an entirely unhealthy rate that could have had me joining him with broken bones. Destiny, as the ponies liked to call such things, smiled on me, and I didn't break myself in my hurry.

I was at his side as soon as I could be, but I didn't rush to try to pick him up. For one, ponies were heavier than they looked. For two, this was a big stallion on top of that. For three, I was pretty sure just casually yanking someone up with broken bones was a good way to make a bad situation worse. "I'm here," I assured instead. "We're going to help."

He mumbled something. Maybe a thank you? Maybe a pony curse. It was hard to tell, the pain clearly making it hard for him to get much out.

I dug out my phone and hammered up an article on what to do in that kind of situation, because heck if I knew off the top of my head. First step, stop bleeding. Alright, alright, sure, yeah...

He was breathing and awake, that was good. Could have already been worse there. "Stay with me." I started inspecting him for where the blood was coming from, which was hard, with how messed up he was. Blood liked to move, oh there it was. He had a big gash right across his cutie mark. With a sharp hiss I reached for it. "This will hurt, but I want you alive and hurting rather than dead." It wasn't time to be squeamish, or so I urgently tried to convince myself.

I pulled the two sides of the injury close together, ham-fistedly closing the wound, then applying pressure, holding it tight. He howled, and my heart quaked. That had to hurt, so bad... but there wasn't anything else I could do. Well, that wasn't true. Holding it as best as I could with one hand, I grabbed at my shirt with a bloody hand and half-tore it off, yanking at it roughly until it came free of me in the awkward position I was in.

His leg was tense and shuddered as I moved it as gently as I could to get the shirt around it a few times, tying it tight to cover the entire gash. The shirt was soaking in blood, but it was coming out slower, I thought, or so I hoped. I had my hands back on it, keeping up the pressure, trying to give his body time to close the wound more permanently. "You're not fading on us now. We just got back to work."

I heard calls and shouts. Other ponies were working towards us from another angle. Help was coming. "With me?"

He didn't answer. I looked up and saw his eyes were closed. Crap. I abandoned his leg for a moment to check for breath. Still breathing. I thanked every god I could think of and got back to holding his leg. I didn't know CPR, and wasn't even sure it'd even... work with a human on a pony. Our mouths would have a hard time making that, you know, seal, lips to lips. I mean I knew that kind of personally. My girlfriend liked giving kisses, and we never quite matched up, as fun as it could be at times.

That wasn't the time to be worrying about sloppy horse kisses. "We're over here!" I called out, desperate to not be alone with the critically injured pony. Was he still bleeding? How could I tell. Crap, he could get infected and die that way. What medicine did they have with their complete lack of germ theory? It wasn't like I was helping with my complete lack of soap or sanitary conditions. "Crap crap crap." The poor pony could still end up dying even if I did everything right, which I couldn't be sure I was doing.

I slid up around him and moved him, slowly, gently. I set his head just a little lower than the rest of him, to get the blood flowing in that direction. If it slowed the movement towards his injured leg, bonus.

Hooves on stone. I looked up to see several other worker ponies hurrying around the bend towards us. "Hard Hat," one of them called out, hurrying ahead of the others. "Damn idiot, look at you." He closed the distance with us, but found me getting in the way.

"Easy there, let's not move him more than we have to until we can do it right."

The pony casually shoved his head to the side, carrying me with it and sending me sprawling to the rocks, which were pointy I will remind. That hurt, but not nearly as much as Hard Hat had suffered. "Get out of my way! I don't care if you're paying. Hard Hat..." He put his arms around the unconscious pony. "You can't die on me..."

Work offered a hoof towards me. "That was brave work, Sir. Is he still with us?"

I pulled myself back to my hooves with his help. "Yeah, still breathing. Bleeding bad, but I tried to bandage it as best I could. Tell me there's a hospital." He looked at me blankly. "Where you bring hurt ponies?"

"Oh, yes." Work turned for the city. "Lift him up, carefully, as if he were made of very thin glass, and let's get him to a physician. We can't do much for him right here." He took charge of his ponies, guiding them away.

Which left me behind, wondering... "Where is Easy?" And beside her, where was that other pony?

I climbed down after them all, getting the injured pony down with careful passes from one pony to the next until he was down on even land. When I reached there, I waved down a wagon. "Get them to the closest physician," I bade, to which the pony peered at me.

Right, money. I fished out some bits and got it up to him and he tipped a hat. "With pleasure, Sir. Please don't make a mess in there." Several ponies climbed aboard with the injured worker among them. They would get him help, but there wasn't much more I could... oh... I quickly scaled on board. I could keep them from making it worse. Nopony would be applying leeches to 'cure humors' on my workers.

Author's Note

That... could have gone worse. So, did you remember that there was a river that runs right in front of Canterlot? This is where it came from.

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36 - Succor and Saviors

We arrived at a small building that lacked in frills. There was a picture beside the door of a pony with their forehooves pressed together in perhaps a prayer of a pose? I didn't study it very hard, following the others as they carried Hard Hat inside.

I did notice the carriage driver taking the time to see what stains we might have left behind. The friendly Equestria could not come fast enough, or so I thought.

Inside smelled softly of some kind of incense, though none I had smelled before, but I could see them burning in two little piles that gave off smoke across the room. A mare looked up from where she sat with crossed legs when we came in. "I sense a disturbance." She fluidly rose to her hooves. "Place the seeker here." She gestured in a smooth wave to an empty cot.

As they worked to get Hard Hat settled, I approached the mare. "He took a nasty fall. The most obvious injury is a big cut right on his cutie mark." I traced on myself where it would be as I went. "I bandaged it as well as I could, but he could have broken bones to add to it."

"Mmm, yes, that aligns with what I felt." She approached his sprawled form, the others backing away to make room for her. "You did well. His life force feels frail, but it may have gone out entirely had you not acted." Was this a doctor or a psychic? I was feeling like I was dealing with more of the latter. "Let us ensure that his essence is not further lost."

Well at least she wasn't talking about the benefits of lost blood, that was a positive... "You have better bandages than bits of my clothes, I hope?"

"So much better." She looked towards me. "I can feel your doubt, but I was educated in the ways of Healer Meadowbrook, and her healing is without reproach." She reached a hoof, but it was her glowing horn that brought a jar across the room towards herself. "The power of plants will seal the wound and give the body time to heal."

Oh, herbalism. That... was a relief. Equestrian plants, so far I'd seen, were pretty darn magical. Heck, they'd prevented me from going full pony, but also had been the thing that made half of me go pony at all. Plants could do things. "Great. If I can help?"

"Your friend is in good hooves," she assured gently, popping the top of the jar free and reaching a hoof inside, coming out with a smear of green-brown gunk. "If you would, carefully, remove the bandage you lovingly made?"

Right... Hopefully he had scabbed a bit and wouldn't start gushing the moment I touched that. I slipped past the concerned ponies that had formed a wide ring and began working the bandage off as gently as I could. Blood got all over my fingers, but I got it off and away.

Her hoof came in the very instant the bandage wasn't in the way, pressing firmly against the wound. "How terrible. A great fall, with a sharp welcome." The stuff on her hooves seemed eager to suck up the blood it touched, drying the immediate area as she spread it along the cut. "The next portion will appear painful, but your friend sleeps and will not know this."

She, far too casually, took hold of his leg in her magic and with a quick snap forced it into the correct position and began to form a splint around it, but was not satisfied with a simple splint. More and more gunk joined the two bits of wood that formed the base and she was fabricating a cast before our eyes to hold the leg firmly in place. "When the bone is renewed, it can be removed. Bring him here at least once a week until then. He will complain, but that just means he has strength to do so, and you should be happy."

Work Pants dipped his head towards her. "We're already grateful for your work. What do we... owe?"

The mare inclined an ear. "Owe? Oh, no no no." She waved a hoof at him. "I took an oath when I learned from Meadowbrook, I would never accept a single bit for healing. If you are feeling kind, volunteer to help, or to help repair the building. I will accept gifts, and only gifts, of food, for myself or patients." She stood up, circling Hard Hat, eyes on him. "His life remains delicate, but I think he will recover. It is good you got him here as quickly as you did."

I could cry. There was a pony, an ideal example of all that I could hope a pony could be. "Thank you." A thing occured to me. "You do most of your healing through herbs, right?"

"This is correct." She sat down beside Hard Hat, still eyeing him, but apparently not finding other things in need of attention. "Why do you ask?"

"I have a friend, she loves working with herbs. If she wanted to, would you have time to compare notes with her?"

She turned towards me with a smile. "Oh, how lovely. I would not have predicted that question. Curious pony, I would be delighted to speak with your friend. Is she of... similar build?"

A few ponies chuckled softly. Had they heard of my girlfriend? "No, she's a full pony, unicorn, like you. She's a maid up at the castle." I hiked a thumb towards it through the wall. "I'll tell her about you though. I think she'd really love to learn."

"And I would be delighted to teach, but she will have to accept the same oath. Meadowbrook's techniques are never to be used for material gain." She nodded softly and placidly. "She can still work for bits, just not being paid for healing work."

"She isn't paid for the small healing she can already do." I felt my tail give a twitch without being asked. "Thank you, again. I take it we should leave him here for now?"

"That would be good." She reached out and gently ran a hoof over his shoulder. "I will tend his flame while it is weakest."

Soft thanks were offered, and the work ponies began to wander away. Work Pants did not, looking towards me. "I must apologize, Sir. This was not how I intended the first day to go. As their forepony, this falls on my head." He dipped that head, ears splaying out to the left and right. "And now we've gone and diverted the flow of water."

"We'll need to go check that out, but, right now, where is Easy?"

"Easy?" He stood up and looked around as if she could just be standing in the room, which she was not. "I don't know, Sir. Did she fall? I should hope not!"

"No, no... She teleported away and never came back."

Work frowned sharply. "Teleportation is heavy magic, Sir. I hope she was knowledgeable enough to use it safely."

But I had no way to know, or track her. There was only one thing really to do... "We'll have to trust her for now. Do you want to inspect what that collapse did to the path of water?"

"I would be honored, Sir, if you still wish to work with me?"

I brought down a hand on his fuzzy head, mussing him between the ears in a gross violation of space. "Work, you're great. I'm not firing you because of an accident. I hope he pulls through, but, you know, it happens."

Work ducked away with a soft huff. "I'm relieved to hear that, Sir. Let's be off then. Ma'am, please see to him."

"I will do what I can," she assured with a gentle smile. "You have an affectionate boss."

"This I have noticed." He began to trot for the door at a steady pace. "Are we walking, Sir?"

"We've wasted enough resources today." And so we did walk. Well, I walked, he trotted. Same difference in the end. But we were not allowed to casually leave the city.

There were four guards peering at the new river that hadn't been there before, cut right in front of their city and spilling off the side of the mountain. One of them noticed us coming and turned towards us. "No one's going this way," he barked. "There's a river in the way!"

Had I changed the future? I pulled out my phone and did a quick search, but there was Canterlot, with a river. It just had a little cute drawbridge over it, in the future... "Think of it as an opportunity."

The guards all turned towards me, looking confused.

"Look, if you're attacked, you have a moat. All you need is a bridge across it that you can pull up when you want to, and maybe a gate house here that'll make it easy to monitor traffic coming and going. It'll siphon everyone through one point, which means you can keep an eye on them much more easily." I gestured to the river and up at the theoretical wall that could be built there for the drawbridge to attach to. "It'll look nice and have a use."

Two of them spoke softly to one another as a third rubbed his chin with a hoof. "That would be nice, but someone would have to approve that kind of project, and then others would have to build it."

As it turned out... "I know who to contract. I'll draw up something and bring it to court."

Their faces lit up with joy. "You'd do that?" asked one. "After all that?"

Well, sure, the guards weren't always the best to me, still, if it meant Canterlot looked a bit more like it should... "I'd be delighted. Besides, a river is hard to make move." We'll just ignore that I had just moved it earlier that day. "Better to work with it."

Work Pants shook his head. "We'll have our hooves busy with your other project, Sir."

"I know, but Miss Mason has other work teams, I should imagine. There's work enough for another team, and that's alright."

"I suppose that's true." He gave one firm nod. "Too right. No need to be greedy. Sirs, may we pass?"

"Be careful," advised the guard as he gestured forward. "There's no bridge yet, but, since you bring it up..." He trotted off and came back a moment later dragging a huge log. The other guards hurried over to help and they all lifted it up with glowing horns, setting it down across the river to make a crude bridge. "There we are, at least ponies can walk across."

It was a crude solution, and yet, a solution. We went across it slowly and hopped down the other side, safely across the river. The guards clopped their hooves, likely happy with their own work. I doubted the logs would serve as a long term fix. Still...

We circled around to get a good view of the mountain and its new water system. The original river was still there, but diminished. Ponies would not be able to use it as easily, but there was a river right outside the gate, which was even more convenient. A net positive, right?

In the end, looking at the cascading waterfalls that brought the water down to make the new river, we had what we needed. Falling water could be trapped and used. We could get water down into the homes of the city, to make it cleaner, safer, and better. "We can work with this... It'll change the placement of the pipes a little, but not too much. The end goal's unchanged. We'll get the water moving."

"Good to hear, Sir." He drew out a kerchief with his magic, wiping his brow. "I will confess I was worried the project was beyond salvaging."

Author's Note

May showers bring indoor plumbing. That's how that saying goes, right?

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37 - Unexpected Boons

"Interesting words reach our ears."

I had been brought to a small room. In it, the reigning council sat around a desk, their eyes trained on me.

The speaker was a stallion. "Imagine our surprise when we went to see; a new river, from nowhere."

Celestia nodded softly. "This does bring water closer to us, but we hope this is not how you intended it, and yet, if it was not, we fear what it means."

Easy was still nowhere to be seen. I was only growing more worried about her. "It wasn't exactly how we planned it." I rolled a hand through the air as I sat up. "But this does work favorably. The project will continue with time saved, and with it, bits saved. The city will have flowing water, and not just the river being closer by."

A female that was not Celestia nodded softly. "We were hoping you'd say as much. You have proven resourceful. Another project, before the first is complete? We were flabbergasted."

Celestia raised a hoof, her eyes set on me. "And yet, what choice is there? The river must be passed, and so we would be fools to not authorize the fixing of this sudden problem... that you caused."

I hadn't meant to! God dang it... "In time, people will look on that drawbridge as a part of the city, a favorable part."

Celestia's expression softened subtly. "I feel that this is true, but it remains a short term pain." She looked to the others. "Shall we?"

They each raised a hoof in agreement and a new paper floated over to the table. "See that this is fixed." It was another writ that authorized funds. "Without further complications."

I accepted the paper and folded it carefully. "Without further complications," I repeated. It wasn't as if I wanted there to be a single further one. "Thank you, for the trust. I'll make good on it. Permission to get to work?"

The stallion waved me away. "On with it then. Don't make Celestia look foolish for her trust."

She was risking her political capital on me. I had to get it right. "Got it." I was on my fee--hooves and off.

"Sir." Water Lily was bowing towards me in the hallway. "Easy Breeze has returned, but she looks quite tired. I thought perhaps you'd want to--"

"--Thank you for telling me," I gushed, relief flowing thick. "Where is she?!"

"In your room, Sir." She turned and began leading the way, as if I didn't know it. "She was fatigued to the point of exhaustion, but seemed unharmed."

"Glad to hear she's alright at least." I went quiet until we reached my room, where I rushed ahead to get the door open and charge inside. There was Easy sprawled across her bed, snoring loudly and very asleep. "G-good," I stammered, unsure how else to react to someone I feared might be dead instead just fast asleep. "Can you keep an eye on her?"

"Of course, Sir." Water dipped her head softly. "Do be back by sixth bell. I would like to see that physician you recommended."

Ah yes, a smile touched my lips at the thought of it. "Of course. I should get to it. If she wakes up, tell her I'm glad she's alright, and I really want to know what happened."

"She said something about 'him being alright'?" Water tilted her head then. "Might you know about that?"

Oh, the good news kept coming. "Great... for now, I'll let her sleep. Please, tell her, and I should go." I had too much dang work to do. I left Water and Easy behind, meeting up instead with Work Pants. I gave him the basic plans to get to work on, and his boys went to it eagerly.

"It's a relief to have everyone accounted for," he sighed out, apparently knowing one of his ponies accounted for before I even told him. "We're on the case, Sir. No more accidents."

"No more," I echoed, and I left him to work. There wasn't a lot I could do than I had already done, the plans in his hooves to get his workers to enact. I had other things to do. I hurried back across the makeshift bridge to find an important pony. Her guild showed a horseshoe with a hammer protruding on either side of it. A place for builders, surely.

The secretary inside, a stallion, spotted me the instant I was through the door. "Ah, a valued client. How can we make your day a little better?" He pressed his hooves together as I had seem the guild leader do before. "I trust you are satisfied with your workers? We can replace them if needed."

So quick to throw Work Pants under the bus... "No, he and his ponies are doing good work, but I have more of it. I need them to focus on the task I have them on and get a new crew."

The secretary's ears went up, but he was not the only one. I could feel eyes turning on me from around the busy room. He smiled gently. "I'm glad to hear that. We're always ready to build! What sort of project do you have in mind? Did you need a fountain done for when you have the water piped in?"

That wasn't an awful idea... But, "No. You know the river?" I hiked a thumb towards it. "The one cutting right in front of the city."

The secretary's sunny expression dimmed a little. "That is slowing down shipments. What a mess. I hope the court does something about it--"

I put down the bill of payment. "--They did something about it. That's why I'm here."

His horn glowed, taking the paper up to where he could read it easily, one hoof adjusting his monocle. "Mmm, yes, mmm. We can work within this budget. Do you have any specifications on how the bridge or watch tower should be built?"

Actually... I dug out my phone and quickly pulled up the image, zooming in on just the bridge and supporting structure. "Like this." I turned it for him to see.

"What a lovely picture, though it's drawn by someone who hasn't actually seen a building before." He floated a quill over and started to rapidly sketch his own take on things. "We can have it done."

"Get it done right, but don't max out the account," I counseled as I put the phone away. "Impress them and more business could come."

"As if we needed to be told that." He laughed it off, waving a hoof. "You are quite the client, Sir. I will inform Miss Mason you were by. I feel certain she will want to thank you for thinking of us before the rest."

That they had competition seemed obvious in hindsight, but I hadn't really considered it. Too late to yank out at that point, and they were doing the work, so why bother, I supposed... "Thank you. I look forward to that congestion problem being out of the way."

"We'll build a better tomorrow," he cheerfully said as if he was quoting something. "Have a great day, Sir. Thank you again."

Only about half a block away, a pony emerged from a side street directly in front of me. I recognized him, one of the ones that had attacked me. He must have seen me tense, and he snorted softly. "I messed up," he grunted. "Figured you were all bark and no bite; that you wouldn't get anything done." He turned to me fully. "And here you are, walking right back into the guild. I heard them cheering when you left. What did you even promise them?"

I shrugged at that. "Got a second job moving."

"A second job..." He sank to his belly miserably. "I doubted you'd get a first and you're already on your second? Well, hang me out to dry then."

"You know, Work Pants would take you on in an instant."

He squinted at me. "But you wouldn't. Why would you? I got one talent, and that's being strong, and there are others that can do that, that haven't roughed you up any."

"Try me." I offered a hand. "I have plenty of work that needs doing, and if ponies are willing to do it, I don't care much about what you're worried about. You want to make it up to me? Get in there and take up the slack Hard Hat's making by being hurt."

"Hard Hat's hurt!" He was up on his hooves in a flash. "What happened?! Is he alright?!"

I put up both hands, glancing at other ponies who were watching us as they walked by. "He's fine, in good hooves. He took a fall, got hurt. He'll come back, but you can keep his spot warm, and us on schedule. Hopefully you have better balance?"

"Me mum said I was part goat," he gloated with a grin. "Ain't never fall from nothin' I didn't mean to fall from."

I hiked a thumb towards the gate and the work that awaited beyond it. "Fantastic. Go find Work Pants and join the crew."

He looked ready to do just that, turning, but stopping. "Paid, right?"

"I'm not looking for volunteers," I dryly replied. "Work Pants is your boss though, so go bother him for your pay, just do the work to earn it, all I ask."

He reached for his hat, but his glowing horn took it off and held it to his chest. "Thank you, for being a big pony about this. I'll do Work Pants proud." He rushed off into the crowd, lost to sight quickly.

Things were looking up. Canterlot was taking steps towards becoming what I had come to see it become...

"Hello there," spoke a female voice. I looked over to see a high-class Mare smiling at me, her long lashes fluttering. She was on the back of a carriage, looking down at me, but my high-stance put us fairly close. "You look tired. Care for a ride?"

I wasn't sure what to make of that. A random noble mare offering a ride? "I should get to work, miss. Thanks."

"Of course," she purred, her horn glowing as the door to her carriage opened towards me. "I'll take you there. You've done so much for us. It's the least I can offer."

A fan? I was running out of reasonable ways to turn her down without being rude. "It's not that far." I pointed the way, but she didn't seem to be impressed. Alright... "Just to the river. I imagine this carriage doesn't want to tread water, and the bridge isn't built yet."

"We're getting a bridge built? How lovely." She closed the door as soon as I was inside. The inside of the carriage smelled of floral perfume and a faint... musky odor. I would have been entirely ignorant of what it could have even been trying to be if not for recent relations.

It was the smell of a ready female pony. Water Lily had taught it to me without trying. The scent wasn't coming from the noble mare. It was more as if someone had made a scent of it and spritzed the air. I wondered how well it worked on stallions, but I wasn't one of those.

The awkwardness of when I sat said otherwise. The lower half of my body agreed with the subtle ploy to my other appetites, but I had a girlfriend that I had no intention of--

She casually reached over and pulled a string with the end of her hoof, closing the blinds on the carriage. Her magic went right for sensitive places, rubbing me right through my clothing. "When you first appeared, I was such a fan. To see you go so far, so fast... I admit, I'm simply smitten." She licked over her lips, eyes on mine. "You're everything I could have ever wanted."

Author's Note

Oh, hello there. Sudden propositions are sudden. Just how many red flags is this? Do we even have enough flags?

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38 - Strong Proposals

"Woah!" I said with the utmost of grace, brushing aside her magic, or at least going through the motion, not that her magic was actually moved even an inch by my hand's dismissal. I could feel her on me, casually stroking me as if I'd asked for that at all. The worst part was that some part of me like it. Shit. I was being raped, an awkward situation for a male, let me casually point out. "Stop that! Right now."

"Don't be like that," she cooed, her eyes locked on me as she smiled gently and her horn glowed with her work. "Such a clever stud deserves more... attention, and I have so many other things to offer you."

"Like an open door?" I grabbed for the exit, but the handle jiggled at my grasping, locked as I feared it might be. "This is not how you make friends."

She lifted an ear. "An unwed stallion, so hesitant?" She sat up, her magic ceasing its maddening teasing. "Am I not your type? Do you prefer them younger, older?" Her eyes darted up and down from my midsection to my face. "Fingered?"

"I prefer them to not be creepy stalkers that lock me in a wagon." That seemed like a small request, right? "And I'm not married, but I have a girlfriend, thank you."

Color drained from her face, which you wouldn't think is a thing you could do with a fur coat. "You have a paramour?!" she squeaked, a loud click coming from the door. "I had no idea... I must look the fool... Who is it? Who beat me before I even took the first move?"

"She isn't secret." Not exactly? "I just haven't shouted it from the rooftops."

The mare patted the long bench beside herself. "Tell me of her."

Really, just like that? "May I remind you were just grabbing me?"

"Old mistakes." She waved it away as if it had been nothing at all. "I simply must know. I won't touch you again, unless you want it?"

"I do not," I flatly replied to that, but I didn't immediately flee. Who was this mare? "Who are you and why did you attack me?"

"Attack you?" She fanned her face with a hoof, looking scandalized at the idea. "I may have been a little... forward... but no harm has been done." She cracked a little smile. "Your turn."

"Who I like is literally none of your business." I crossed my arms over my chest, but I still hadn't fled yet. Perhaps I should have? The thought was dancing in my mind.

"Come now, telling me I must not for her sake, but not saying who she is?" She leaned towards me, fluttering her long lashes. "You are not about town that often... Is it that manager of yours? You two are inseparable."

I blanched at the thought of it, but she saw it another way. "It is her! How delightful! How indecent! A stallion making his mare work for her instead of the other way around. Marvelous!" She clopped her forehooves together. "And such a free-spirited common waif. Is that the sort you prefer?"

Did I correct that? It wasn't my job to make sure she better understood my sex life. "I prefer them honest and straight with me." Far better than the scheming energy I felt from this noble(?) mare. "Now, I have to get to work, it's what I'm being paid for, not be entertained--" As if I was very entertained. "--by the local nobility."

"Such a hard worker," she purred. "Yes yes, go on then." She gestured for the door. "But if ever you need a little... distraction... know that the door will be open for you."

"Look!" I suddenly snapped. "I'm trying to be nice but only an idiot would take that offer." I grabbed for the door handle, but her magic was on it, contesting my attempt to open it.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked in a firmer tone of voice. "I've been nothing but welcoming. I know others have not treated you so kindly. Do you mistake me for them?"

Ugh, I should have fled when the chance was there. "You are an unknown player. You want my favor, or to extort. There aren't a lot of other options there."

She suddenly stood up. "What if I actually like what I see, you cad!" She turned up her nose. "Of course I want your favor. What mare does not seek the favor of her chosen stallion?"

"Does that always involve grabbing him between the legs after trapping him nice and close?"

She inclined her head at that. "I was trying to be romantic... You are a strange thing, from a curious place. Are my overtures that bewildering to you?" She suddenly threw open the door with her magic. "Off with you then. We're both hot and bothered. We can meet another day, when our heads have cooled."

I was fairly certain she would have been entirely alright with hot and bothered of a different variety. I would be loyal to Water Lily, however. She was a good working girl and deserved to not be cheated on by the strange man she had faith in. I wouldn't do that to her; certainly not for what seemed to be a bored noble mare looking for a fun new relationship. "Good day. The work's never quite done." With the door open, I threw myself out onto my hooves, striking loose dirt? We were just outside the gate, beside the river.

In the end, she actually had brought me towards my work. I had to credit her that. The wagon driver, and puller, nodded towards me as they were the same pony. "Have a good day, Sir."

"I'll do my best. Thanks for the ride." I nodded towards him and headed for the first project. There was water to move.

Easy waved a hoof tiredly from her bed, not bothering to rise. "Oh! There you are... I was wondering when you'd get back."

"I told her you were working," explained Water with a soft nod. "She's been quite eager to speak to you."

"I can say that on my own," Easy complained, closing her eyes and putting one arm over her face. "That was... just stupid, but it worked out. I had to hop way out to catch that poor worker before he hit the ground. Do you have any idea how hard it is to catch a moving object with a teleport? Any?!"

"Not even the start of a clue," I admitted as I sat down on the edge of her bed. "Are you alright?"

"No." She breathed softly a moment, her talking pausing. "Tired... Anyway, so I catch him, have him in my hooves, and now we're both falling, so what can you do? Again! I never jumped so far and fast, but I have to do it again, or we both smash into the ground and make a mess."

Water hissed softly, shaking her head. "You poor thing. Even one can be so dangerous and difficult if you are not quite well trained. I've heard even then it can be taxing..."

"You're a hero," I offered in a different explanation. "You brought him back in one piece, right?"

"Yeah... So, one more jump, we slam into the ground, but not hard enough to break everything we have." She flopped over, facing me. "And then I fall asleep, right there. He was a polite stallion at least, he took care of me until I woke up, and we joined a caravan heading back up here. Funny thing though, after two jumps like that, must have shook the fear of it off me... When I felt strong enough, I put a hoof on him and jumped the rest of the way on my own."

"And went right back into dead tired," I finished it, imagining the situation in my mind.

"Exactly." She buried her face beneath a pillow. "Can I have a day or two off, Boss?"

"Yes," I blurted without delay. "Of course. Work Pants will be overjoyed, and I already am. You did good." I looked to Soft. "Let's take care of her until she's back on her hooves."

"As if I needed to be told," she said in the gentlest chastising tone. "Any guest in my castle will be treated as a Lady. Now, tea's just beside you." She pointed to a small table where wafting tea did reside. "I'll have dinner ready at the usual time." She looked to me. "Now why do you smell... curiously?"

I thought that had long since faded! "Some crazy noble mare decided to casually try to get into my pants, except she cheated."

Water blinked softly. "I don't know that saying but its possible implications are worrying to say the least. She may have cheated... but did you?"

"No! No... I talked her down, then got away. Her wagon stank of perfume."

"And something else." She raised a brow at me. "You swear nothing happened?"

"Other than me getting angry?" I reached for her shoulder and she didn't shy away. "I told her I was taken, but didn't mention your name, as if she deserved to know it."

Her cautious expression brightened into a little smile. "Good, good... I... know you are of higher station than me. If... ever you did tire of us, I will understand."

I squeezed the shoulder I had a grip on. "I hope that day never comes. Water, I like you just the way you are. I like being with you. Jesus-- I'd want you to do more than timidly accept anything I did that hurt you. You're just as important as me."

"That's a lie, Sir... But a nice one." She leaned in, touching her nose to mine, fur on flesh. "You are a kind pony. Now, I feel certain Easy does not wish us to become romantic as she tries to rest."

"Nah, go on. I could use a distraction." She was watching us with a little smirk. "Don't let me hold you back."

Water's cheeks warmed swiftly. "Easy! I do not know how or why you tolerate... our indiscretions. Do you... enjoy it?" She glanced about nervously. "Listen to me prattle on. How fares your projects?" She turned back to me with that question.

"Well, now we have two, but both are moving where they need to. Ah, ran into one of the ponies that roughed me up before."

Easy's ear lifted at that. "Did you punch him?"

"No! No. Is that how ponies normally behave?" I didn't want to think about ponies randomly slugging one another to get over spats. "He's on the job, back to working. He was afraid I wouldn't want him around."

"And you shouldn't," casually agreed Easy. "But you think ponies are cute little foals that deserve forgiveness even when they hurt you. You're a funny thing, Boss. Never--" She paused to yawn widely, entire body rocking from the explosive noise. "--change." She mostly closed her eyes, going still.

Water raised a hoof to my cheek. "If it helps, I think you are an adorable thing as well, my little furless treasure. She didn't touch you... here did she?" She rubbed softly across my exposed skin, gazing perhaps a bit possessively.

"Her attention was down where the fur was," I noted truthfully. "I didn't actually know a unicorn could grab through things."

Her horn glowed and a recently familiar sensation was felt as she curled her grip around Little Ian. "If we know where it is and nothing too thick is in the way. Your pants do not qualify for that." She leaned in, touching her nose to mine. "But I hope my touch is not unwelcome."

"And if it was?" I asked in a teasing tone.

"Then I would accept what punishment you had in store for me." She half, turned, showing her back end towards me. "We can't have naughty staff working in this castle."

Of the two mares that had grabbed me that day, one of them I didn't mind.

Author's Note

The mare claims innocence and curiosity, but how true was that? Still, he got away and back to work, yay! Welcome back, Easy. Your dry wit was missed.

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39 - Pipedream

Easy recovered and was practically bouncing in place. "As much as I enjoy watching you work without me, enough of that. It's time to get my dad involved."

"Your father? He works with pipes, if I recall?" I was watching the ponies construct the large pipes and get them into position to siphon a considerable amount of the falling water for our purposes. "Smaller pipes?"

"Yes, much smaller than those." She threw her head at the big pipes being worked on above us. "He'll help us get started under the city. You want pipes everywhere, he can help with that, I know it." She thrust a hoof at me. "Permission to go grab him?"

"Are you sure he even wants to come here and work on this?"

Her eyes rolled dramatically. "Oh, hey dad, want to join in a huge project and get tons of bits doing a dream job? No? Alright then." She shrugged softly. "If he says no, I'll disown the lazy bastard. Seriously... He won't say no to this."

I doubted Easy would throw off her dad that easily, but I could imagine her dragging him along by the ear if she got it in her head to do so. "He can do this? This is a big project."

"Not alone, obviously, but he can help plan it and help with the delicate parts. Get him on the team and we'll put the pipes and tunnels in the right place, and get our first fountain spraying fresh water a lot faster." She stomped a hoof down. "Can I go or not?"

"Go on then. How lo--" She vanished before I could finish my thought. Great, she was a teleporter. From what I could remember from Twilight's journey into teleporting, it got easier with practice. Easy would be popping everywhere if I let her keep doing it. That was her choice far more than mine, I decided. She hadn't killed herself doing it the first time, or the second, or the third.

She was likely fine. Insead I waved up at where Work Pants was. He started to come down as I went up. Scaffolding made it easier and safer for us to do, no longer scaling naked cliffs to reach the work and back. "Work, it looks like things are going well with getting the water from this end, but I want to get started on getting it under the city." I pointed out across the metropolis we were to serve. "We'll need it to flow into reserves, water towers, that will help keep the water pressure going and also hold onto water, just in case."

He nodded as he sat down, looking in the same direction I had pointed. "You are full of ambition, Sir. How do you plan to get the water to go up into towers?" He raised a brow at the concept. "Magic?"

Well, that was an option... "I'll explore that idea..." I drew out my phone and got to clicking, checking something right quick. Right... Pumps. Water towers needed pumps usually, and the tech level for that wasn't quite there for optimal water tower usage. Magic?

"I'll go ask about that. Step one is getting the water flowing through the city, think big pipes to get it to all big sections of it, smaller sections to come after. Do we have the means to dig those tunnels?"

"No."

No? I couldn't help but look at him with some shock. "What do you mean?"

"We could be digging for the foreseeable future attempting it, Sir. We may want to look for exterior assistance." He gave the smallest nod, turning away from the city. "We're not on friendly terms with them, but, in my dealings, I hear they have a love for gems, which we have an abundance of."

I slapped one hand on the other. "Diamond Dogs!"

"Y-yes, Sir. You've heard of them?" It was his turn to look surprised. "They're not common."

"But they exist, and if we could get some of them on the team, yeah. That'll speed things up quite a bit." I rubbed both hands together, imagining a team of diamond dogs rapidly digging those tunnels. "How do we get them on board?"

"I couldn't rightly say." He rubbed his hat lightly with a thoughtful look on his face. "I usually only have to keep them in mind as an unlikely but not impossible menace to building projects." He turned then pointing at the castle. "But you have contacts, do you not? It may be time to call on them."

"I'll do that... But first, size. I pointed up at the big water pipe. "That's enough to bring in water, and adding to the water coming in isn't nearly as hard. When we get to waste flow inside the city, the bigger the better. The city will grow, and making the tunnels grow under it? Not so easy. That waste also has to flow away without contaminating anything or ending up where it could poison ponies." I slipped my phone away. "But that's not your problem right now. Your problem right now is finding a good spot for us to start digging. The water has to get into the city, or what's the point?"

"Too right, Sir." He turned towards the work. "Watch yourself!" he called up at a worker. "I swear they're taking turns seeing who can retire first the unfortunate way... I'm on it, Sir. See what you can do." He strode away without a goodbye, for there was much work to be done.

The left me with things to do. I climbed back down to the bottom of the work and wandered off, checking on how other major sewers had been built. A lot of it involved just plain manual labor, having people dig out trenches to be later reinforced into proper tunnels and routes for water and waste to flow through.

The best part was how vague some of it was. I could give ideas, but I would not be saying where to put each pipe, just painting with large strokes and encouraging others onwards. It'd have to be enough, right? It'd have to be... I stuffed my information source away and made firm strides back to the castle.

It was only then that I noticed something.

It didn't stink.

I mean, it did stink. But it didn't stink as much. The streets were clearer. The city was recovering from war time. I could see some ponies actually cleaning their stuff and it made the streets more open. Traffic was flowing better. We hadn't even got on the sewage and already things were looking up.

With a little pep in my step, I bounced up the stairs towards the castle. Maybe we weren't fighting an impossible battle. "Is the head enchanter available?"

The guard nodded softly. "They're in their office, Sir. I can't assure they'll accept a visitor."

But he hadn't forbidden me from trying, so I nodded on the way past and clip-clopped through the hallways with a purpose.

"Sir." Water was striding alongside me, matching my pace perfectly. "You're back early."

"Not retiring for the day." I held up a hand towards her as I continued. "I want to talk with the enchanter, see what he can do about a little problem you don't have the technology for."

"You keep doing that," she sighed out. "Speaking of works that do not exist as if you have them, or had them. I hope you trust me some day enough to share tales of whatever wonder world you came from." She glanced away and began to veer off. "I will be by later." And she vanished into a room, likely doing things only a maid could do.

I had a door to deal with. I rapped on it with the back of a few knuckles.

"Who is it?" came a familiar voice. "No, I can discern. Mister Langerman, is that you?"

"You are correct." I reached for the handle. "May I come in?"

"You may." When I opened the door, he was looking towards me fixedly. "One of your workers came by with the pipe measurements. The enchanted ring will be ready by the end of the week. Your water will run pure and clean for any that have need of it."

"Fantastic." Not what I had come for, but still good news! I clapped my hands, alien as they were to the unicorn. "I actually came about something else. How hard would it be to make a pump? Something that makes water move."

"Straight forward." He nodded softly. "How much water? How fast? Is this something you would want to last for a short while, or...?"

I couldn't help but smile a little. Magic enchanters were the engineers of pony kind. They still needed actual engineers, of course, but until the industrial revolution took over... "I want something that'll be here long after we're both a distant memory. Is that possible?"

His brows went up together. "Something to last, I see... Do you want the flow to be constant, cyclical, or controlled?"

A great question. "Can it depend on how much water is at the source? Once it goes beneath a certain amount, it stops drawing and lets the water flow out?" I gestured with my hands as I spoke, trying to emphasize what I had in mind. I could see his eyes following the fingers, but I couldn't know if he got anything from it.

"I see... Yes, this is... possible." His horn glowed and a scroll popped free from among many, rolling out to show a drawing of a pool. "Like this."

"A... pool?"

"It is that, but it does what you want." He tapped at the picture lightly. "Whenever the water is high, it circulates it. When the water is low, it allows more water to flow in. It is entirely self-managing. We constructed this model at the behest of the Fleur family, and it has served them well. A larger industrial model is likely what you have in mind, built to outlast anyone involved in its creation."

"Yes! Yes, exactly that." I walked to the window and threw it open. "Imagine, if you will, a tower of water in the city. When there's sufficient water, it should be constantly filling itself to the brim. Whenever the water pressure it's attached to falls below a certain point, it lets the water back out at a steady rate to get it back up to that pressure until it evens itself out or runs out of water, then refills when there's enough water to do so, repeating the cycle."

The enchanter stroked a hoof over his beard slowly. "I... see... You know, I didn't favor you when first I laid eyes on you." His glowing horn casually closed the window. "A foul little upstart, I thought, here to cause trouble, and that you certainly have... But you have such wonderful little ideas, and you trust me to see them through. I can't help but warm to your disturbances. A holder of water that helps water flow past it? How delightful. It makes such sense, now that you've brought it up. I think I've read of ponies doing something similar to that before... Yes... I can design that."

He brought his hooves together in a sharp clap. "It will not be cheap, of course."

"Of course. We are both servants of the nation." I dipped my head towards him. "They'll see we're both paid."

"A call to patriotism?" One of his brows fell, the other remained high. "If I were not already aware you had access to the royal coffers, I might be insulted." He pressed his hooves to the desktop, sitting up tall. "I love our kingdom, do not misunderstand me, but the actions of the council can be slow and if I had to wait on their leave before being paid, I would also wait on my work, for I am no fool. Fortunately, you understand this and will pay promptly, yes?"

Author's Note

For king and country! Right? C'mon...

How would you get the Diamond Dogs involved, and WOULD you?

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40 - Diplomatic Entreaties

"You called for me?" Celestia walked across the clean tiles as if she belonged there.

There was the bathing room I was in the middle of using! "I didn't call you here," I noted, turning towards her, most of me under the water. "But--"

"--Here I am," she finished with a coy little smile. "This is how we met, if you recall. One more shared bath will harm neither of us, unless you would rather not?" She had stopped, watching me.

If I sent her away, I figured, I might have to wait a while before she had time. Sneaking my meeting into her bath time was just dovetailing on her part. "No, come in. The water's fine."

"Speaking of that." Her magic began divesting herself of her ornaments. "I hear you've been quite busy. 'The Water Pony', that's what they've started to call you when you're not around." She smirked faintly at my expression. "Don't look like that. It's a good thing. It means they've accepted you." She popped each horseshoe free with a little sigh. "They're calling you a pony."

There was that... "I'll take what I get there. I was hoping to talk about another race entirely though."

"Another race?" She started to step into the pool gently. "Another tribe of ponies, or further afield?"

"Diamond Dogs," I cut right to the thick of things. "You know them?"

Celestia sank into the pool, the water sloshing up and spilling over before a new equilibrium was found. "I have spoken to their king before. A curious people, with curious ways. What of them?"

Well that was convenient. I grabbed the brush that I hadn't been using on myself and casually turned it around to start getting Celestia's broad barrel. She quirked a brow but didn't tell me to stop, so I continued. "I want to hire them, a force to help with the sub-city tunnels. They can do it faster than ponies can by far, get this done now, rather than later."

She wriggled her sun-kissed bottom beneath the water, her magic grabbing a bottle from across the room. "I see. They are talented with such things. Well, you have your budget. If you wish to hire them, I will not stop you."

"But you know how to reach them, and I do not." I softly stroked along her spine a moment, working down the other side. She was a relatively clean pony to start, the water not clouding with my efforts. "I need more than permission."

"Something you cannot do on your own?" she almost sang out in a teasing tone. "I had started to think you were convinced you could do anything you set your mind to."

"I still plan to, which sometimes involves getting someone in the right position to act." I started working around towards her under section, dutifully cleaning her. With a wet noise, she squeezed out some goopy stuff and began to work it into her mane with a smile. "You can clean yourself, but I can see and reach, so why not have me do it?"

"It is nicer, and faster," she easily agreed with a soft nod. "Just watch where you move that brush. We are not that familiar, and you will break her heart."

Wait. "You know ab--"

"--It is my job to know, Mister Langerman. I think it's charming, and will not stop your little romance, but I will take great umbrage if you mistreat her. She is a good mare, and deserves to be treated fairly." She lifted an ear. "If she is not to your liking, set her down gently, that she does not collect too many cracks when hitting the floor."

Jesus... "I like her just fine."

She turned towards me, just her head swiveling, ears on me. "You think her perfect?"

"Perfect is a strong word... Nopony is--"

She held up a hoof suddenly. "What word was that?"

"Perfect?"

"No, no. Nopony." She quirked a little smile. "I like it."

Crap, did I just invent that word? That was not on my list of things to do that day... "Um, right, as I was saying, she's not perfect, but who is? I like her just as she is."

"Should I be planning a wedding?" She brought her forehooves together in a wet clopping splash. "How delightful that would be. I would gladly release her into your care."

This was all moving in a direction I had not planned. "Let's refocus. Can you talk to the diamond dogs? It will be a paid position, of course."

"But what will you pay them?" She suddenly dipped her head into the water, her magic working the soap free of her mane in a spreading puddle of bubbles before she came back up with a gasp for air. "They have little interest in our bits. A practical people, really."

Practical was not the word I would have chosen, but these were early diamond dogs, and early ponies. I was living in the past, a thing I had to remind myself once in a while. Wait... "What if... the ones that help us could get some land to themselves?"

Celestia quirked an ear at that. "Land, here in Equestria? How bold... Though... it could help secure the ties between our kingdoms, a symbol of peace and cooperation. Yes... that would be nice..." She stood up, water running free of her form in great sheets. "You have the most fascinating ideas."

That would make two ponies who thought that in short order. A bad habit of mine perhaps? "Do you think it can work?"

"A little plot..." She tapped a hoof to her chin before starting to climb from the tub. "I think we can arrange this. I will see about this. While that is happening, I suggest you continue as best you can."

That brought up questions in my mind of the other races I knew. "What other kingdoms do you have relations with? You doing alright with the hippogriffs?"

Magic wrapped around me and half-dragged me from the pool. "Who told you of them?" Her tone was suddenly cold, her eyes narrowed at me.

Crap. How did I explain that? "There are stories of them, where I'm from."

"Stories?" She released me, letting me flop nakedly back into the pool. "Stories? They've... only just become a thing, a secret thing at that, and already stories?" She leaned in close, her equine face inches from mine. "And yet you speak plainly, with an edge. You know more than you admit. Is this part of that bright future you have seen?"

Well... "Yes, actually. I don't want to go into details."

"Yes, yes, musn't ruin that vision." She glanced away and back at me. "I am no stranger to visions of futures that may be. A delicate walk, that line, to see them through without ruining them. Tell me this alone... will there still be hippogriffs, in this happy future?"

Hippogriffs were new?! "They will have hard times, but they will have happy times, with good endings. They will..." I trailed off, unsure of what more would be prudent to say. "They'll be fine."

"Fine..." She turned away, her magic picking up her jewelry to re-adorn herself quietly for a moment. "They'll be alright... Do you know their true story?"

True story? "I didn't know there was a 'true' story to know."

"That answer speaks clearly." She stepped into each shoe one at a time, her magic working them perfectly into place. "In your happy future, perhaps this start was forgotten. Good... It serves us little to linger on it... The griffons." She tossed her head, perhaps in the direction of the griffons. "We have fought with them, long and hard. Bitter exchanges... Sometimes they capture a pony or two and instead of devouring them, make use of them for... other means."

She shook her head slowly as she moved for the door. "The result of those unhappinesses are the hippogriffs, a people that could be the bridge between our people, but instead stand alone and abused. I do what I can, which was very little... With our war abated, perhaps that can improve. They need a home, and so much more. They are not comfortable among the ponies of their mothers, nor among the griffons of their fathers."

"Shit..." I pulled myself free of the tub, suddenly lacking any desire to soak in its waters. "I thought they weren't related to either, to be honest." I mean, sure, myth had them related, but the show certainly had ignored that.

"Not related?" She turned back towards me with a powerful equine snort. "With the forebody of a griffon and the posterior of a pony, how can they not be? True, they lack our cutie marks... Another facet that drives a wedge, as if the violence of their creation separated them from destiny itself."

This was going downhill. "They don't think about that, in the future. I think, eventually, maybe it's just you that remembers?"

Celestia's lips turned upwards in a bitter smile. "A burden I would gladly bear, if it means none other need to. Yes, perhaps their children's children's children will forget this, if we can find them a safe place to live in peace. Tell me, are we still at war with the griffons?"

Crap... "Not sure I should answer that?" I pulled up some boxers and went for my shirt next, covering up. "It may change nothing, or not. I probably shouldn't be having this conversation at all."

"I thank you for doing so." She dipped her head a few inches before standing straight. "I will see about the diamond dogs. Perhaps, when times are less hectic, we can talk, speak of this bright future of yours. I would like to hear more tales of it, if you would."

She soon left me there, just getting on the last of my clothes. Was I supposed to tell her about things? Maybe my loose lips created the world I was trying to make. Maybe I was just one more prophetic voice in her head, guiding her towards that bright possibility. I wouldn't be the first, from the sound of it, and not the last. I knew not the last. Maybe she deserved to know...

"There you are!" Just as I came out of the bathroom, there was Easy, another unicorn just beside her, male, older. Her father? "Look who I brought with me."

"Not so loud," cautioned the male, a hoof to his lips. "We're in the royal palace! And you're shouting in it as if you own it. They'll throw us out... Or into jail. Maybe both?"

"Nice to meet you, Mister..." I offered a hand towards the stallion.

He suddenly reared up and thrust a hoof right into my palm, making a shaking motion as if he'd done it before. "Nice to meet you, Sir Langerman. That is your name, yes? My daughter's been gushing about you the entire way."

"I have not!" hotly defended Easy, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, this is my father, Tight Fit."

Tight nodded. "That's the name. I hear you're working with pipes?"

A few improper jokes danced into and out of my mind, shoved aside forcefully. Tight fit, what a name... "Nice to have you aboard. My goal is to provide fresh water to all of the city, and to carry waste away from the city. Two networks, water and waste. The two need to not contaminate one another."

His face scrunched up. "Oh, ick, no. I wouldn't want a little sip of someone's dropping, no sir." He fell back to all fours, head still shaking. "We can't have that. Now, I don't do... big pipes."

"He knows that, Dad." Easy thudded against his side with her own. "But there are plenty of smaller pipes that could use your touch."

"Now you're talking! Oh, little pipes to connect the entire city? That will be a maze... Looks like you'll need a..." I could see him waiting for the right moment, such a smug grin on his face. "--Tight Fit. Consider me hired, assuming you'll be paying, which my little girl assured."

I had a plumber! The day was looking good.

Author's Note

Ian has a heart to heart with Celestia. Do her words ring true in your ears?

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41 - Diggy Diggy

We had reached a milestone. A great pipe rested at the base of the mountain, its end closed off, but filled with water. I swept my eyes along its length back up into the mountain where not a single drop of water was leaking. "You are a fast worker..."

Work Pants dipped his head faintly. "It is the name, Sir. We have the water coming down from the peak reliably now, but this project is now at an impasse. Do you want us to begin the tunnel work? Not our specialty, I won't try to hide, but we're ready to continue."

"Take the rest of the day off, paid." I turned back towards the castle. "Time to see if things are moving the way I hope they will."

"As you say. Thank you." Work trotted off to tell his work crew the good news.

With a sudden pop, Easy appeared a few feet away and quickly turned towards me. "There you are! The council's looking for you."

What? "All of them?"

"All of them," she sang. "I think it's good news before you get too upset. Shall we go?" She offered a hoof towards me.

"The castle is where I planned to go, so this works out." I took her hoof in a hand. "You getting better at teleporting?"

"You tell me." The world stopped existing a moment before we appeared within the castle, in our room. "Ta da."

I wasn't sizzling or smoking. It hadn't hurt, and it was fairly instantly. "You are getting better," I assured with a smile. "Do you remember you used to be scared of the idea?"

"The first time is always the scariest." She waved it away. "There are so many things that could go wrong, but once you get a feel for it, it's not too bad. Now, let's go visit some council ponies." She strode past me for the hallway with a determined look.

"Where is your father?" I asked as I caught up with and walked beside her, my strange humanish gait throwing off the clip-clop of her equine trot in noise with my clops mixing with hers. "Keeping busy while we get ready for his part?"

"He never admitted it, but he really wants to see the city, so he's taking the opportunity."

I hadn't paid him yet, so... "Did you slip him a few bits?"

"How could I not?" She smiled gently, glancing aside at me. "He's my dad, and he looked so eager... He's really enjoying himself, and I'm not going to stop that, really..."

"No, that's good of you. I hope he's finding some interesting things." Who knows, he could even learn something relevant to the task, but that wasn't the goal.

We settled to companionable silence as we approached a room I had been to before. The guards standing by the door nodded towards me, neither gleaming with the bright gold I would know all of Celestia's guards to eventually wear, but they weren't hers, not yet. "They are waiting for you," noted one. "Please enter."

Inside they sat, not facing us, instead each other. They were discussing a sheet of parchment that rest between them. Celestia was nodding to something a councilmare was saying, "--going just fine. With the return of the armed forces, law enforcement is building back up to where it used to be."

The councilstallion let out a dramatic sigh. "It's good to be able to breathe again. The city felt like the nation as a whole, choking on itself. Its recov... Oh, our guest is here."

Their eyes all looked up towards us then. Celestia inclined her head towards two available cushions. "Please, join us. I have good news for you."

The mare nodded softly. "Imagine our surprise; really, the Diamond Dogs? Giving them land in Equestria..."

"If they can see this project through." The stallion shrugged softly. "But this is beside the point, we already gave approval."

With a glowing horn, Celestia set down a new scroll. "And this is their response. Shall we read it together?"

I sat cross-legged on the cushion, my hooves pressing against my legs in a way that my old feet wouldn't have. Ah, the wonders of an altered body. "I am guessing you already have?"

Celestia ran a hoof gently along the scroll, trailing a wax seal. "Actually not. You must proceed one way or the other, and we determined we would discuss this, no matter what the reply may be."

Easy thrust her right forehoof at it. "Well open that up and let's see what we're working with."

I had no argument for that. "Hopefully good news."

The councilmare took it in her magic and popped the seal open with ease, unfurling the scroll. She read the words aloud, her eyes slowly passing left and right.

Good Day, Ponies

We not expect letter. So nice. Want diggers? We have diggers. Give diggers home? Is good. You treat well, yes? On the way.

Nice letter, will send more,
Mittens, Queen of Dimondia

Celestia inclined her head faintly. "I couldn't have asked for a more positive reply."

The councilstallion rolled a hoof at the floating scroll. "So uncouth in their writing. Is this the sort of citizen we desire if this is as well as their own queen can manage?"

I shrugged at that. "We're not hiring them for their eloquence. They know how to dig."

"And that's what they'll do," chimed Easy in agreement. "What land are they getting though?"

Eyes looked from face to face, settling on Celestia, who inclined a wing. "There is a fine plot of land that is currently seeing very little use at all. Not far west from here, in the lowlands, where we were considering farming opportunities."

The councilmare perked an ear. "Are they taking that land then?"

The councilstallion snorted softly. "They prefer underground, don't they? If they stay there, we can farm over their heads and be done with it."

I shrugged softly at that, having some idea of how it'd play out, but it wasn't my place to change the world I was making. The diamond dogs had a part to play in future events. "That sounds quite reasonable. When should they arrive?"

Celestia's magic wrapped around the letter, taking it from the councilmare and rolling it back up. "This could not be said with certainty, but I feel confident that wheel is in motion. Speaking of that, the gate guards speak with awe at the tremendous pipe you have running down the mountainside, and we had a few... concerns."

The stallion stood suddenly. "Is that temporary? Will you be hiding it eventually? It's quite ungainly to see, as impressive as it is."

I hadn't put a lot of thought into that, but it was true. The future Canterlot had no huge visible pipe connecting it to the mountain. "I'll make that the next project, to have them conceal it without making it inaccessible; work it into the natural face of the mountain."

The councilmare nodded softly. "That is all that we ask. You have the masons on the case, we're certain they can do something about it." Her gaze went to Easy. "We are told your father has joined the effort."

"Tight fit," she agreed with a nod. "He'll be handling the smaller piping in and out of homes to connect with the big pipes, right?" She looked to me for confirmation.

Which I gave, "Exactly correct. He isn't on the case yet, or being paid. We need the tunnels started under the city before he can get to connecting them to individual houses."

Celestia swept a hoof slowly through the air. "Speaking of that, I would like the castle to enjoy this water. Fresh water not born of magic sounds lovely."

The councilstallion blinked softly. "It wouldn't be clean."

The councilmare shook her head. "You haven't been paying attention. Mister Langerman?"

"We will be using magic filters," I gestured in the vague direction where that enchanter worked. "The water will be entirely natural in origin, but we'll clean it thoroughly before it reaches any tongues, or cooking pots or tubs. Since we're on the topic of this project, we've done a survey of the city as best we could, but if you have a more detailed map of the buildings we'll be working with?"

Celestia's horn glowed as she grabbed a book from a shelf. "I thought you may ask that. Take this." She set it in front of me. "This has a full map of the castle and all adjoining buildings. Please do not allow the book to leave your sight. It has... privileged information."

The councilmare sighed gently. "Such trust... Mister Langerman, I have a request."

"Hmm?"

"Will you formally swear fealty to the nation?" She tipped head head towards me. "You have stated your intentions clearly enough. Think of it as a formality, if you would prefer."

The councilstallion raised a hoof. "We would welcome you as a full and proper citizen."

Was I not that already? Things had gone from glacial to feeling at times uncomfortably fast. "Of course I will. I am here to help Equestria, and it is my home." Not like I knew how to go back, or was really in a hurry to. I was enjoying my new role in a new world.

Celestia gently brought her forehooves together. "I suggest this not be a simple declaration of intent. We have heard it, and so have they. You have a much more convincing show of faith at your disposal." The two councilponies looked to her curiously. "I think you know what I mean, Mister Langerman. I will not force that of you. But if you find favor in her..."

The councilmare suddenly had a wicked smile. "A paramour? How have I not heard of this...?"

Easy clopped a hoof on the table. "We're not here to chat about how the boss makes a mare happy." Eyes were turning on her. "W-what? It's not me! Sheesh, some professional etiquette and all that. He's my boss, not my boyfriend."

Celestia, I noticed, had looked towards her, though I was pretty sure she knew exactly who was being hinted at. All the better to play dumb. I set my hands down on the table more calmly than Easy had. "I'll talk with her. This isn't a choice for me to make on my own."

"I accept."

Like that? "This is a permanent thing, just to remind."

"You have shown me nothing that would make me shy away from that." She set down a duster she had been holding in her magic and turned to face me entirely. "I wanted you all to myself since before today. You asking just makes that easier. Do you agree to be mine? To be pampered and brushed and lavishly oiled to keep your skin delightfully soft and supple?"

Once in a while, I forgot her skin fetish, then she would just remind me... "Am I more than a patch of skin without fur?"

She frowned sharply. "I'm not a filly. We've been through quite a bit already, and I expect there will be more ahead of us. You'll make your oath to Equestria as a whole, my promise is to you." She reared up onto two legs. "I will support and love you, as I expect the same in return. I will learn to think as you do, as you learn of my ways. In the end we will both be changed, but for the better I think."

"He beat you to the punch there." Easy was gesturing at my lower half. "Can't really argue about becoming more pony with that going on."

"Easy... Is there a reason you are always here, even when we're discussing private things, or doing private things?"

She sat up tall. "We're family. Sure, I'm not going to start smooching either of you, but we are family, like brothers and sisters. I'm here to make sure you two don't do anything too stupid. Now thank Big Sister Easy properly, or she may find something better to do."

At least I had friends.

Author's Note

Get married, hide pipes, get diamond dogs. Boy things are picking up speed I think.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

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42 - Reinforcements Have Arrived

I had quill to paper. Let me tell you, that wasn't my usual style. Give me a keyboard and a screen and I could jam out words well enough, but the only keyboard or screen for an entire world was my phone, and whatever I made in there wouldn't be available to be read by much anyone but myself. What I wrote wasn't for myself.

I was transcribing knowledge. Dutifully copying human technology out in pony understandable ways, or so I hoped. The pipe was being hidden. The dogs were on the way. Water Lily seemed quite intent on planning the wedding. "A mare's job," she had insisted and then spoke nothing more to me.

That left me with time. And I decided to spend it giving back to Equestria. As much as I didn't want to think about it, there would be a day when I wasn't there. Even if I did defeat age through some magic or another, I certainly couldn't be everywhere at once. Ponies needed their own engineers solving their own problems and hopefully coming up with unique pony solutions to things even when I wasn't there.

I was penning the workings of a water ram jet, allowing water to propel itself uphill with sufficient amounts of water. We may even have need for such a design within the city, depending on where the water has to go. Sure, I paid the enchanter to handle it for the water towers, but we weren't made of money, and going to him for every time the water had to go uphill anywhere in Equestria, or even the city, would be unfeasible.

It sure would be nice to have electricity...

That would require them knowing what it really was first. Or would it? I was slowly copying a diagram off my phone as I pondered that. I could give them the hows without the whys, but that felt like cheating, and it could turn up poorly later. If they were going to be told about electricity, the magic of man, they should have some idea of what it was.

But what did they already know? Unicorns could make it, but they had no use for it. It was an attack, a deadly energy, or something to amuse others with when used properly. In no way was it a revolutionary power to change the world.

But were humans any different? Electricity used to be a curiosity too, unknown and unknowable. It took time and study and mostly time, multipled by many man-hours of study, to start figuring it out. I needed something small and easy they could hold in their hooves and see electricity working.

A little motor. A small thing that did nothing but spin around. Surely that would be enough to at least show it could be made to do work. First, the ramjet. I dutifully finished the notes there, keeping my burning sidetrack pushed where it belonged, to the side.

A knock had my head turning. "Who is it?"

"Sir?" came a female voice. "I was asked by Water Lily to ensure you paused your efforts about now. I have a snack."

I grabbed my phone and took a peek at the time. It was turning to evening. I had spent the entire day working on that one article. Still, it was basically done, something to be proud of. "Sure, thank you." The door opened as I began to put things away. "How is Water doing? She's basically hiding from me."

"She's not hiding, Sir." The maid trotted in, tray floating beside her. She placed it on my desk in the space I had just made available. "She's preparing. You are unusually aggressive, for a stallion, Sir. She has to prove she can handle a mare's business. Her pride is on the line."

Aggressive? "I wouldn't hurt a hair on her."

"Not violent, Sir, no... I would... protect her if I thought you were that." The maid smiled awkwardly up at me. "Aggressive... Mares are supposed to propose. You went and did it instead. She's... delighted, Sir, please know that. It's just made her eager to do her part."

The tray she had put down had a few butter cookies and a small cup of tea. I could smell the butter. Those cookies were as brand new as they could be if I didn't shove my hand into the stove to fetch them myself. Ponies knew how to cook and serve food, I can never deny. "Thank you... but since you're here, what do you think of me?"

She inclined her head faintly. "You're not my sort, Sir."

"Not like that," I laughed out, taking a cookie and giving it a soft bite. It almost melted on contact with my tongue. Very nice. "When you look at me, what do you see?"

"I see a half pony." Her eyes flicked between my top and bottom. "With fingers, missing fur, no snout to speak of... How do you breathe?"

"Pardon?"

"Breathe, Sir... Such a small nose, it must be terrible difficult, I would think..." She sat down, regarding me more fully. "No wonder you always wear clothes. I'd be cold too. How do you survive the winter? Oh dear, that's coming soon. Are you going to hide inside? Poor thing..."

That was going in directions I hadn't planned. "I more meant as a person."

"Oh! Oh... pardon." With blushing cheeks, she looked away a brief moment. "You're the talk of things lately. You're taking one of us away, but she seems... very happy about it, so I'm not angry at you, Sir. You just better treat her right." She thrust a hoof at me. "And I hope she invites me to the ceremony. Oh! Sir, do you have family? Will they be there?"

Any family I had was a world, possibly a universe, away... "None that could make it here on time."

"Oh... I'm so sorry, Sir. I've asked a bad question." Had I made an expression? She was acting like it. "Forget I even asked. You're marrying into family. Assuming you two continue getting along as well as you do, I'll gladly accept you as part of mine." She set a hoof on her chest. "And I imagine many other maids feel the same. We're all one big family."

A family I was being invited into. I hadn't planned on joining a family circle of maids, which made me curious. "I'm not a mare, as you know."

"We are all aware of that... Ian. May I call you Ian? If you're family, first name would be proper, rather than 'Sir sir sir.'" She was smiling easily, as if she were talking to a friend rather than anyone that could censure her for her behavior. "True, the maids are mares, but Lily isn't the first to find love, and the boyfriends and husbands of maids are just as much a part of this family. If they can't manage that... Usually a good sign they aren't a good fit."

Well, no pressure... "I will do my best. Now, before I go assuming, are pets allowed?"

She squinted at me. "Like a cat or a dog? They create more work, but well-mannered ones are a delight to have around."

"N-no. I mean..." I hovered a hand over her head.

"Sir! Ian, no..." She scurried back a few rapid steps. "Touching another mare like that. I will have to tell Water Lily, Ian. This isn't something we can keep a secret."

"Go ahead." I felt sure she would more likely laugh at my awkwardness. "I didn't mean anything untoward by it. It's a thing we humans do to adorable furry things."

She looked all the more perplexed. "Ian... I am a hardworking mare. While I appreciate you think I'm cute, I'm not a foal in need of headpats, and it sends confusing signals. You aren't my elder, or my lover, so I will gently rebuke that wish, and suggest you not try it with the other maids, please?"

I would be getting no maid petting done outside of Water Lily. A shame, but not the end of the world by far. "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. That was my mistake. I owe you one."

She pointed to the tray. "Well, alright then. You get to bring that to the kitchen yourself, you naughty boyfriend, you." She turned on one hoof, swiveling away without moving from the spot. "Because I'm not taking it, so there." She trotted off, looking so confident in her terrible revenge.

That left me with cookies, tea, and a tray that all had to go away. There were worse fates. I had other things to do. I brought them all to the kitchen to be properly dealt with, much to their surprise, but they didn't ask why I was the one bringing them.

With that handled, I left the castle with one of my parchments. Not the ramjet, that had no business outside just yet. I made my way to a smith, the steady pounding of a hammer on metal the clear sign that the smith was around and working. When I opened the door to head inside, a bell rang out clearly. Had he, or she, made that? Good work by how clearly it had jingled.

"One moment," called a female from the back, the hammering pausing a moment. "One moment." A heavy-set mare came trotting into view. She was not fat, oh no. She was muscled, large and powerful, but also smiling. "Well, hello there. Aren't you a strange one. Strange with bits?"

"Strange with bits," I agreed, setting the paper down on the counter that separated us. "I need some metal pounded into some specific shapes. Can you help?"

"That happens to be my job." She leaned over the counter, peering at the drawing. She reached out a hoof and twirled the paper around to face herself. "You've made the metal all long and thin here. Is that for decoration?" Metal pounded like that won't be good for much else."

Not much else, except conducting electricity. "Do you have copper? I need that part to be made of copper."

"Copper, sure." She tossed her head towards some shiny brown pieces. "Work with that plenty. Steel too, but that costs more. Is it all copper?"

I got out that quill, dipped it and quickly put a big C next to the copper wires and and S on some of the others. "There you go. Can you do it?"

"Can I do it?" She pulled the diagram closer. "Of course I can. Just don't go hanging anything off those thin copper lengths. You knock the strength right out of them when you get them that thin."

"I understand that." I considered explaining what they were actually for, but that felt like a waste. She worked metal, that's what she did. "Thank you, miss...?"

"Smith. Miss Smith." She nodded once firmly. "And you're the langer man, ain't ya?"

"Ian," I corrected. "Ian Langerman."

"Close." She pulled the diagram off the counter. "Word has it you have a hoof in the council's coin purse, so I'll expect prompt payment when this is ready. You staying up at the castle?"

"I am." Having a reputation was a double-edged sword. I noticed she wasn't sweating the details. She knew she'd be paid. "Send word and I'll be back to collect, and pay."

"Glad you remembered that part." She inclined her head towards where the diagram had gone. "Rush job?"

"No." It wasn't an emergency by any means. "Moderate priority, just let me know when it's all ready."

"You got it," she said with some mild disappointment. I imagined she had been hoping she could charge extra to bump it to the top of her queue. "I'll have this hammered out soon enough. Think of me the next time you need some metal pounded into shape." She turned and left, apparently goodbyes said enough in her eyes.

Knowing a local smith wasn't a bad idea, really... Miss Smith was an easy name to remember.

Author's Note

Cheating by petting random ponies. What a way to go. Welcome to the family, Ian.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

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43 - Magnetic Personalities

I had a bunch of parts. I knew how they had to be arranged, but first... First... Naked copper wasn't going to do it. Still, Miss Smith had done a great job. I just needed that copper insulated and I'd be there... One search turned up a surprising answer. Paper. They had paper. Paper insulated just fine so long as it wasn't running that hot or too much electricity, which I wasn't planning.

I brought Easy over. "I could do this myself, but I'd actually like as much of this to be done by pony hands as we can."

"Yeah?" She glanced between me and the random assortment of parts. "What are you doing, exactly?"

"Science!" I gently picked up the coil of copper wire. "But right now, we're going to cheat with a little magic. Can you wrap this wire in paper?"

"Wrap it in... paper?" She hiked a brow high. "You have strange ways of thinking, Boss. You'll need to get me a bunch of paper first, then some kinda wrapping spell. For some reason, I didn't really thing that'd be needed."

I was about to be disheartened, but a thought hit me. "Ask your dad. I bet he uses something to wrap pipes, keep them watertight and insulated. He'd know for sure."

Her ears perked in a little dance. "Oh, good idea. That sounds like something he'd know. Alright, I'll go ask him. You get the paper." She trotted off without another word.

The paper was a straight forward thing. I went to the library where they keep writing tools, which included a nice stack of writing paper. "Can I have some of this?" I asked the librarian mare that sat behind a counter.

She leaned over the counter to see what I was pointing at. "If you're writing something for the council, certainly." She nodded with self-satisfaction. "It's what it's there for. You're Langerman, aren't you? Ponies are talking about you." Her eyes wandered over me. "Up to interesting things. Go on, have some parchment."

Wait, was parchment the same as paper? "What is this made of?"

She frowned at me then. "We have books on parchment, made of parchment." She snorted then, looking amused at her own joke as she pointed the way. "If you're that interested. A little learning's good for a pony."

While tempting, I had things to do. I could check that later. I thanked her and hurried back to my room with several sheets of parchment. A quick search said parchment was leather, and leather insulated. Great! I wouldn't want to use it for a house power line, or much anything larger than the little motor I had in mind, but for that, it would be 'good enough', and sometimes that just had to do.

The door opened and more than one pony entered. You get used to their gait, and two sets of hooves did not sound like one. "Where is this?" asked a familiar male voice. Tight Fit was with Easy, approaching quickly. "Ah, Mister Langerman, nice to see you. Daughter here says you need something sealed?"

"That wasn't exactly what I asked." I picked up the copper wire. "I need this coated in something that can insulate against electricity. I got some parchment for the job. Can you do that?"

"Parchment." He looked at the small stack of paper. "Well, sure, you could do that, but parchment breaks. What you want is wax!" His horn glowed as several bottles emerged in a line. "I have a special blend I use on little pipes I need to be nice and snug. No water in, no water out. Except the ends, of course."

I was ready to argue, but that was a pony solution. If it was made of things they could easily get, that was even better. "Do you know if it resists electricity?"

"I never tested that," he admitted with a shrug. "Put out one of your hands."

Oh that could go in so many directions. "I trust this won't do anything I'll regret?"

"What are you talkin' about? You're my meal ticket and a chance for a huge project. I won't hurt a hair on your body." He waved it off like it was nothing. "Getting wax off a pony isn't so tough, and you have less fur to get in the way, so you're perfect."

Nothing for it. I presented my left hand. His horn flared brightly as the bottles shook in place. Suddenly my hand was coated in hot wax. Just as the pain of that was starting to appear, it was already cooled down. My hand was perfectly encased in some kind of wax-mixture. "There you are. Now, Easy, my girl, if you would?"

Easy stepped up, her horn crackling. "How much electricity do you need? Big zap? Fill the room zap?"

Actually... "Just keep your horn crackling. No zaps." I brought my hand over and brushed against her still sparking horn. I was not jolted, even with the direct contact. "Wow, pretty good mixture you have there. Do you have a recipe for it?"

He inclined his head softly. "Only in my head. I don't need other ponies taking my secrets, Sir."

That attitude had to change... But how? "You should still pen it down. If you trust me with it, I'll pay you for it, to start, and keep it secure."

"Well, paying for it is a different story." He waved a hoof and his magic banished the wax, making it crack and part, falling free of my hand. "You plan to have other unicorns sealing the pipes? Eh... it is a big job. I suppose a helping horn or two might be a good idea..." He tapped at his chin softly. "Alright... but I expect to be paid for all the time I'm saving you."

It meant a bit of pony ingenuity would be saved instead of fading when the pony that had it passed away. It was a step in the right direction. How many other little technological steps burst into being just to fade back into the swamp they emerged from, the world none the wiser for what it had lost? "It's a deal. For now, please, coat this." I gestured at the wire. "I need the length coated, not all of it. I should still be able to move each bit of the wire."

"Well, then first..." His magic unwound the coil and stretched it wide. It went around the room once. "We need it nice and straight as can be. Then..." Tight made a grand sweep of a hoof, his bottles jiggling as they dipped in volume each, drained to coat that wire all along with the waxy residue. He drew a sudden sharp breath and what seemed to be dripping pulled in tight, hugging firmly to the metal. "And... there we go." He began coiling the wire back up carefully in his magic, still covered in that insulator.

I had insulated copper! "Fantastic. Now I need a magnet."

Easy inclined her head. "Magnet. How big?" She held up her hooves. "This? This?" She spread them further apart. "The bigger, the more expensive, of course."

Magnets were on the market? "They sell them?"

Easy shrugged softly. "I've used lodestone in acts before. They make compasses out of them, and you can do funny things with them. How big?"

"Great!" I held out a flat hand. "About as big as my hand?"

"Huh, alright." She turned but vanished rather than walking away, a soft pop of magic.

Tight shook his head. "That's my girl... lately. She didn't used to do that. Now, you, Sir. What is it you're making?" He was eyeing the collection of parts. "It looks delightfully intricate. I must know more."

"It's more electric than water," I warned.

"I am capable of enjoying all kinds-a complicated things. Don't you go judgin' me, Sir." He sat down in front of the bed, his eyes wandering over the pieces as his mouth moved in subvocalizations. "With a magnet... and the coated wire," he said a bit more loudly. "I don't get it. What are you making?"

"It will show that electricity can do more than look pretty, or zap ponies." I sat on the bed and started assembling it as it needed to be, which mostly involved coiling that wire. Around and around and around... I'd be there a while, but the tighter the coil, the better, so I kept at it.

He was watching my fingers as I worked the coated wire around and around. "You're going to zap that wire, and you don't want the wire to zap the wire." He tapped at his chin. "I still don't understand why."

"I don't even know how you got that far." That was an impressive leap of logic. "But I am amazed. That's exactly what the wax is for, to stop electricity in the wire from jumping to the next part of the wire, which it would do if it was easier than just moving along the wire."

"Electricity is... lazy, Sir?" He raised a brow. "I didn't know electricity had thoughts."

"It doesn't, exactly." The coiling continued. I was making good progress, but it took time. "But water won't flow uphill if downhill is an option. Electricity takes the easy way too. Most things in nature prefer the easy way if at all possible."

"That makes sense," he said as if it actually did click with him. "But you haven't said what this does."

"You'll see when I get it all put together. Since you helped, you can be the first one, besides maybe me, to see it in action." Around and around went the wire. I'd be there for--

His magic suddenly appeared on the wire, coiling it quickly. "Well, I want to see this, whatever it is." As great as human fingers were, unicorn magic was just cheating, and he soon had it nice and tightly coiled. Oh, the look on his face as I undid the last few coils. "What did you do that for? I thought you wanted it all bound up like that."

"Most of it. I need the ends free to get the electricity in and out." Mmm. "You have something to keep this all firmly in place?"

Pop, wax slathered over the mixture, glueing it down to the metal beneath. "Huh, that stuff has a lot of uses."

"It isn't the strongest glue, but for little delicate things, it can work." He lifted his shoulders in a soft shrug. "Alright, so what's next?"

I hadn't expected to get assistance of that sort, but it was good, I decided. Ponies needed to be involved. The more closely, the better. I began to explain what needed to be where and we worked together to fashion the motor-to-be. For a plumber, he was a handy pony. He had it mounted on a slab of wood without difficulty. We mounted another bit of metal to the other metal. I won't bore you with the specifics, but we had it together well enough that we didn't technically need the magnet... if we had alternating current electricity.

I wasn't sure if unicorn-created electricity was AC, DC, both? Maybe they could do it if they tried either way. I didn't know. There was one way to find out...

"I'm back!" sang Easy. "And I brought company."

Just behind her, Water Lily came trotting in. "Hello, betrothed. Easy says you..." She trailed off, eyes on the strange little contraption we had on my bed. "What manner of... What is that?"

Easy clopped her hooves with a smile. "You built it while I was gone! Dad, were you helping?"

Tight nodded with a smug look of confidence. "We did it together, with a little practiced hornwork. Now, I still got no clue what it does."

"We're about to find out... Right away if you can do alternating current electricity. In a bit if you brought that magnet."

Easy blinked at me as if I had just spoken a foreign language, which I suppose I might have just done.

Author's Note

Time for that electromagnet motor I built in junior high! What fun! Also I didn't mean to spend the whole chapter on this... and yet here we are. Are you mad? It's alright to admit it.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

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44 - The Power of Science!

With a soft noise of metal sliding against metal, it turned. Easy had the wires going up to her horn. The fact that she could figure out negative and positive after a little trying was a pleasant surprise. Sure, she had no idea which part of her horn was which, but they were separated out, allowing the power to flow through the wire and create motion in the crude little example of human innovation.

Tight had his forehooves together as he leaned in, his head thrust over those hooves, gawking at the motion. "It isn't glowing," he noted as if that was the most important part of the entire thing. "It isn't glowing, not even a little."

He wasn't wrong. It wasn't glowing at all. No unicorn magic was operating on it, not directly at least. "We could make this turn without even her borrowed spark, but it'd be a lot slower. Electricity isn't magic, and that is what is powering this."

"Imagine if you did this with the wheels of a cart!" Tight blurted, eyes starry with visions of the future.

"That is skipping a few steps." Though valid, I silently admitted. "More immediately, imagine it attached to pumps and bellows. Imagine it lighting the darkness."

His cheer dimmed. "I just finished sayin' it wasn't glowing and there you go bringing glowing right back into it." His hooves came apart to point at me accusingly. "Are you tugging at hoof?"

It slowed to a stop, Easy huffing softly. "That isn't as easy as I make it look. Cute as it is, what was the point of that?"

"What was the point?" thundered Tight, hopping to his hooves. "We just saw the future and you ask what the point is?! But there are so many questions behind it..." He fixed his eyes on me squarely. "You obviously know about this. How do you get electricity without a unicorn working at it? If you need that, ain't much different than magic in the end."

Easy rolled a hoof with a smirk. "A great question. I'm your manager, not your sparky pony."

Water leaned against me from where she was laying just beside me. "I will handle making sparks."

I was at least 80% certain that was innuendo. "There are as many ways to make electricity as there are things that move or burn. Let's not get ahead of ourselves." I carefully picked up the little motor that could and set it on a small bed-side desk. "This will work as a demonstration. We have water to handle."

"Water moves." Tight nodded softly, looking quite self-pleased. "Can it make electricity?"

Well... "Sure. But you'll slow the water down doing it, so I don't want to put a generator on the pipe we're making for the city. Unless you think the water pressure's too high as it is?"

Tight shook his head quickly at that. "No! No... It's good, but there's other water flowing. We could tap that, right? Make electricity for the town. That'd surprise everyone! They think we're bringing water, and we will, but bam something new!"

I was about to shoot him down, but it hit me. This was a pony getting not only invested but legitimately excited about science and its practical uses. That wasn't something to discourage. He was exactly what I wanted to make happen. "Tight Fit."

"Yeah?" He cocked an ear towards me before turning. "'Bout to tell me why that won't work?"

"No. This obviously interests you. Do you want to know how it works? Knowing how it works will let you work with it, and use it."

He smiled so hard and so fast, a soft squeak escaped his cheeks in an adorable little exclamation of his joy. "You'll share your secrets? I figured you'd want to hold that tight."

Paf, my hand came down on his head, his horn going up between my pointer and middle finger as I began to pet him without thinking about it. "I would be delighted to take you on as a student. You'll be the first pony to understand the concept of electromagnetism."

"I'm honored." He scooched back, removing his mane and head from the petting. "But there's only one mare fer me, even if her time ran out. Ah'm a loyal stallion."

Easy applied a hoof to her face. "Dad! He just... does that. He thinks all ponies like being pet for some reason, no dirtiness behind it."

That left me with a new bit of sad information. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to bring up a sore point."

"That was a long while ago." He looked away, turning instead to the motor. "I made peace, but don't plan to replace her none. 'sides, got a daughter to keep an eye on. No matter how large she gets, she finds new things to get all involved in."

Easy set her hooves on her hips, standing up to do so. "The same thing you're throwing yourself into!"

Tight stuck out his tongue, though he wasn't facing her. "I didn't say it was a bad habit. Now, pardon me, but I need some sleep. This is fascinating, but my late night days are behind me." He started for the door, his tail wagging cheerfully with his steps. It was a subtle difference, but I was starting to learn their little body cues.

"One thing," I called to his retreating form. "You're the first, but you won't be the only pony. This will do no one any good if we keep it too close. We want all of Equestria to have this."

His steps faltered. "All... You dream big, Mister Langerman." A soft smile spread on his lips. "But I like those dreams." And off he went, closing the door behind himself with a faint glow of magic.

Easy hopped up onto his bed. "He brought it up first, but it isn't a bad idea. Good night! Have fun if you're doing that."

Water had the good manners to blush with me, but she didn't argue it either. We all settled for bed, confident that the day had been well spent.

"Where dig?" The head of the diamond dogs was there, arms crossed. It was an unusual pleasure to be dealing with a fellow biped. "Ready."

"About that." I turned my gaze to Tight who was there with Easy. "Alright, the goal is to get the water in and all through the city. Water likes flowing downhill. Any time we try to force it uphill, it's going to slow down, and eventually stop. We don't want it to stop before it's already in someone's home."

"Right, I've been thinking about that." His horn glowed, producing a rather large sheet of paper that he unfurled between us all. On it was a great map of the city, little lines darting all over it. "Here's what I have. I can't dig the larger holes, that's where you come in." He pointed at the canine leader. "Never saw somethin' like you before, but the Boss says you dig good."

"Best diggers," he agreed, leaning in to study all the marks on the paper. "Hmmm... How big?" He held his hands up apart.

"Depends on the color." He pointed to a black line. "Black's the widest. This big." He spread his hooves out wide, then frowned. "Bigger then I can reach..." He turned to the side. "Two of me wide."

"Big," agreed the diamond dog foreman. "Okay. We dig. We dig good. Start big, ask when done." He turned to look at the city, then looked over his shoulder at the plans and back at the city. "Yes. We--"

"One more thing." He ran a hoof along some hatchetlines. "This shows how high it is. See how it gets thicker as it gets away from the start? That's how it goes down. Flat here, see? Can you do that?"

"Mmm?" He dropped into a squat facing the paper, examining the subtle hatches. "Hmm... What deepest?" He thrust a finger at where the hatches seemed to be the most dense.

"That should come right out the bottom of the far side of the city." He pointed the way. "That's the deepest, where everything should lead. Note that system is separate. We don't want clean water and sewage water touching. Talk about nasty tasting."

"Bad water," he agreed. "Not want. Keep apart." He nodded once firmly. "Got it. Come on, let's go!" The others began to bark and cheer, looking ready to go. I was expecting more talk among them, but the one in charge began to bark out orders and the others dove into the earth and stone, vanishing from sight, but only briefly. What started as a lump rapidly began to grow into a proper hole, then expand far more rapidly than I imagine anything short of a fully mechanized digger could manage. The tunnels were officially underway. We'd have our water system and sewage system.

"You look happy," noted Easy with a smirk. "Watching them with that dopey smile on your face."

Had I been? I gently tamped down that expression. I had an image to uphold! "It's good to see such solid progress. The end feels like it's a lot closer than it was even a day ago." To think the far descendants of those dogs would lose this will to perform great deeds, sinking to depravity and greed. Could I change that trajectory? Should I? My self-appointed job was to safeguard the future of Equestria, which meant not changing bits of it to my taste, even the unfortunate parts.

There would be consequences to every action, magnified over and over as a millenia passed by. Saving the children's children's children's and so on of these dogs could cause something new to go horribly awry, and how would I even predict where that would happen? At the very least, it would change what happens in the future. Rarity would never be pony-napped and showcase her unique problem solving, which could affect other things.

"Tight?"

"Yesir?"

I gestured at the growing hole. "Do you need to monitor that, or are they good to go for now?"

"Don't reckon I could monitor this in any real way besides watchin' and waitin'." He shrugged softly. "Why?"

"Shall we continue our lessons?"

That got his attention, tail wagging. "Sounds like a fine idea. Now what was that about magicetic fields?"

"Magnetic fields," I corrected as I lead him away towards a place more conducive to study.

"I'll keep an eye," shouted Easy behind us. "Kind of my job." It was good to have a manager. I raised a hand in a wave as I went, thankful to have her around.

A glowing sponge worked over my body. Water was smiling as she performed her duty of cleansing, obviously enjoying working on my furless parts. It was a habit we'd gotten into, since technically it was one of her many duties, and it let us be together at the same time.

The door opened without a knock. Both of our eyes went towards it. Water was on her hooves instantly. "The bath is in use," she called in her gentle but firm way.

"I am certain he will not object too strongly to my presence." In came Celestia, the door closing behind her. "You can be a difficult creature to get alone without formal invitation."

We both tensed at the sudden intrusion, not that she seemed very worked up about it. She casually worked off her horseshoes and took off her jewelry. "But I do need to speak with you, ask a few questions. I see the diamond dogs have arrived and have begun their work. Are they to your satisfaction?"

"More than that." I gestured to the portion of the tub I wasn't in. There was room enough for us both, we'd tested that before. "Their work should shorten the time this takes considerably."

"Excellent." She stepped down into the tub one hoof at a time, the water raising rapidly with her great bulk. "Now, tell me what else you have been working on."

Author's Note

Celestia has ears around the castle, and she demands information. Will you deny your big slightly-pink-but-mostly-white overlord?

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

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45 - You're Soaking in It

"I was demonstrating something to a pony I didn't ex--" I paused as Celestia leaned forward, her snout inches from my face. "Expect... to be as interested as they were."

Her ears went erect. "I confess, matters of state occupy most of my waking time, but you think I have no interest at all in what strange things you bring to our kingdom?" She inclined her head, which seemed somehow a cue for the sponge that began to run over her large barrel. "I know a good deal about magic and its working, but you bring a sort I know so little about."

Water Lily sank to her belly beside the tub, her glowing horn diligently seeing to the cleaning of the two ponies before her. "You could have asked me, instead of storming his bath, Your Highness."

Without even looking towards Water, her eyes instead on me, Celestia replied, "I would have his word. Besides, I think he enjoys these little times we share. Now... This magic, electricity is it not?"

"Electricity is one of the cornerstones of my people's power," I provided. "Mastery of it opens many other doors. It is not an easy beast of burden. You have to put in as much effort into controlling and producing it."

"You speak as if it is alive... But I can understand that." She adjusted her position, rump going down and head going up as she sat down. "I've spoken of magic in similar ways many times. It, too, is a wild beast if used incorrectly. But let's set the metaphors aside. I would hear the plain truths."

I wasn't sure she could handle the 'plain truth'. "I'll do my best. What's your question then?"

Her expression softened subtly. "Good... Speaking in broad terms, what is the good this magic can bring?"

Well, shoot. "Imagine a world where the sun setting was only a suggestion to retire, because light is a right of every pony in your kingdom at any time. Imagine a world where, without unicorn involvement, or clever pegasus flying, water could be drawn where it was needed and out of where it isn't wanted. Imagine a world where delicate machines eventually learn to do your whim, powered by this same force. Imagine--"

She put a hoof to my lips, much as I had silenced a pony or two before. "Some of that seems far fetched, and perhaps it is, right now."

"One more," I insisted, backing from her hoof. "Imagine stores of food kept from spoiling in cold produced without ice and without burying it."

Her ears danced. "There are enchantments that could do that... but it is prohibitively expensive for most of my people. Precious few are skilled enough to produce such works. Enough. You have made it plain some of the good aspects of this power. Now, tell me, and be just as plain; What awaits us if we tame this beast? What are the risks, and what are the prices?"

Water's eyes darted between the two of us, clearly interested, but not asking anything. Nope, she was just a pony-shaped cleaning utensil at that moment. How much of my demonstrations had she brought to Celestia, I wondered. Should I have been angry?

"To make electricity requires one of two things in the end. Heat, or movement. Take the heat or take the movement and you can make electricity. A pony galloping, a stream flowing, or a burning pile of coal could all serve to make this power. But burning things makes smoke. Smoke is messy. When my people first really discovered this power, they made a lot of smoke, and kept right on making it for years, centuries... Our world became a smokey place."

Celestia snorted at the mental image conjured. "Then we will outdo your people, for a change." A little smile spread on her face. "Long have you had the mien of a kindly elder, here to lead children away from harm, but I will not accept this mantle of youthful innocence so easily. We will take your power, and we will do it better than your people did. Without the smoke." She inclined her head faintly. "You said any movement will do?"

"Movement and heat," I emphasized. "You know how a water wheel works?"

She raised a brow at that. "That is a simple thing. What of it?"

"That simple thing can make electricity, with the right extra parts." I rose in the water, standing in the tub. "A facility designed to do that specifically stops all the flow but what you allow to flow past your water wheels to produce the power you want."

Her ears danced at that, perhaps considering it. "That would be most unkind to what life dwelled in the river you stopped. The earth ponies would revolt to see us treating the creatures of nature so dismissively."

That was a little reminder that Fluttershy was an aberration as far as pegasi went. She didn't like flying quickly, and she hung out with animals. She was an earth pony in a pegasus' body. "There are ways to get around that, but this is all jumping ahead without the first steps."

"Verily," she agreed, surprising me. "I would see an example of this." She raised a hoof from the water. "You." She was pointing the hoof at me. "You are not of this world."

Water squeaked, perking up with wide eyes. "Ma'am?!"

"Deny it, if you wish."

Well... crap...

Even as I considered it, her magic snagged my phone and brought it floating over. "This is not a device of any nation of this world." I can't really emphasize how much I cringed to see the phone floating over the water. I wasn't ready to test its waterproofing rating. "You are not a creature of any nation of this world. I checked... Oh how I plumbed that well. You have similarities to some creatures, but you... are something else."

"Is this a polite way of saying I'm under arrest?" I held up my hands free of the water. Resisting Celestia seemed like a foolish idea. I was pretty sure she could physically overpower me, but she had magic too just to make that more clear.

She smiled, that soft kind smile. "Arrest? You are a citizen of this nation, whatever you are." She floated the phone back towards my folded pants, setting it down atop it. "You have broken no laws of the kingdom, though perhaps some of the world? Those are enforced by other agents, and they have not spoken up, so it would seem you are fine, for now... I had my suspicions, but you made it quite clear. 'our world,' mmm? I would know of a nation overtaken by smoke."

Celestia rose, standing as I had, causing the water to sink considerably beneath her. "Did you come from a mirror?"

"A mirror?" dared ask Water.

Celestia glanced at her as if just remembering she were there. "Water, beloved servant. I will require your complete silence on this conversation. Never shall a single word of it escape your lips."

Water's head began to firmly bob and she went silent.

"I did not come from a mirror," I confidently replied. I would have remembered that. "I think I came from further away than most mirrors go."

She leaned forward at that. "Further away? They are all a world apart. How does one... come from further than that?"

I took a slow breath. "Alright, imagine if every choice changed things subtly. Did you come to my bath today, or tomorrow? Different worlds, right?"

Surprisingly, she nodded. "Yes."

"But those worlds are very close together." I brought up two fingers touching. "The differences small, mostly the same. Even if you followed them on and on." I trailed a finger with my other hand. "That choice will not change the fundamental nature of that world. The planet will still be there in both. The sun will be there in both. All the big things haven't moved. It's mostly the same place. The further out you pull back, the harder it is to see the difference one day of visit made. With me?"

Celestia frowned faintly before a slow nod came. "I... see. Then as many threads make a rope, my mirrors allow me to see the other strands in the bundle, but you... come from another rope entirely, whose world is not the same. Whose sun is not the same. Whose stars are not the same."

How the hell did she put that theory together so damn well?! She must have seen my surprise and her smile turned cocky. "As wise as you claim to be, I feel confident I am your elder." She softly pushed me back into the water, sitting. "Show me some respect. Then you are a stranger, a true stranger. From further than ever have I seen..."

Water whimpered softly, her ears folded back. "I will carry this secret to the end, Your Highness, but it stirs in me powerful feelings of helplessness. What creature has claimed my heart? Is he even a creature? I'm scared, Your Highness..."

"I'm still me," I quickly blurt. "Ian Langerman, and you are my lovely mare." I reached from the water and she shied back a moment before allowing her round cheek to rest in my palm. She let out a shuddering breath and relaxed against my bare skin, her eyes closing. For the moment, her panic ebbed.

Celestia rose a hoof and began to climb free of the bath. "This has been a very productive discussion. We both have work to do, Mister Langerman. Bring my ponies water, but bring me electricity. Without smoke. I want this castle to glow in the dark, as a beacon for my people. Show it can be done, safely. My world will not be made into smoke." With a powerful flick of her tail that sent water flying, she approached her horseshoes.

That woke up Water. She scrambled to her hooves and soon towels were drying Celestia from all angles, helping her get dressed and ready to move. Celestia was soon trotting out of the room as dignified as when she had entered. Water crashed beside the tub with a weary sigh.

"Are you alright?" I asked even as I began to climb out myself. She did not bounce up for me, but I wasn't a princess. I began to dry myself. "Water?"

"No." She opened one eye towards me. "I am not... This is a strange thing... and it makes me wonder... if... If... Tell me of your world. Were there ponies there? You seemed to know us. You seemed to... like us. I thought your country, not a world, had ponies, so you were used to us..."

I began to get dressed, pulling pants and shoes and shirt. "We know of ponies, but there are no ponies there." The sight of an Equestrian pony would have caused quite the stir back home. "We have a story about you, this world."

She sat up at that, blinking. "We are a myth?! We are a story? Does it have a happy ending?"

Well... "Yes. It is, in the end, a happy tale." I was dressed and ready to move, but I didn't leave. I sat beside Water instead. "A charming tale of ponies that had won against many forces of evil, and internal confusions, much like the one you are feeling right now."

She allowed her head to tilt one way and the other before a renewed smile erupted on her face. "We are more alike than I would have known. You came chasing the story of a furry creature, and I hoped for the myth of a furless creature. It is like providence..." She touched her nose to my bare hand. "And when we meet, we fulfill the other's desire perfectly. Fur against flesh, two worlds made whole in our union. That is a romantic thought." She rose smoothly to her hooves, looking better. "I should return to my duties."

Author's Note

The world just got really worrying to Water for a moment there.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

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47 - Little Dig

Tight Fit lived up to his name, wriggling into small places to get in equally small pipes. He had selected a random tavern as the test case and had his men and the diamond dogs work together to get water flowing close to it, underground, where he connected to the pipes with his smaller ones and worked it the rest of the way away from the main tunnels and slowly upwards.

The ponies who owned the tavern gawked at him as he installed a sink, but the promise of eternal effortless water was not one they said no to. He told me after the fact that it took a good portion of a day, but that he learned a lot doing it. It'd take a lot less time the next time, he assured. Once he had the sink ready, he attached the last of the pipes, then reached up with a dramatic smile and holding his hoof over the lever.

"And this--" He pushed down and the water began to flow down into the sink, filling it. "--is your indoor well."

I had noted we planned to do a sewer line to take away the waste water, but we weren't quite ready for that.

He had taken it as a challenge. Even as the ponies cheered at their new indoor well, he was working on attaching the outgoing pipe. The water would flow all the way through if he had anything to say about it.

He had come home exhausted, but so satisfied. Perhaps just as importantly, talk began to spread through town like wildfire. We hadn't made it a secret that other ponies would get their own indoor wells and excitement was growing as it was proven we could actually do it, and we weren't even charging them for it.

Well, we were, if you think about it. This was all coming out of their tax money. Still, not quite how the average person thought. Even a human would be hard pressed to really understand tax money was their money, so it was free.

That was when I let him see the phone. Specifically, I showed him the article on flush toilets. "Does this make sense?" He was uncertain at first, but I assured, "Go ahead, take it and study it. Just be careful with it."

His magic glowed around the phone as he took it from my grasp gently and set it on the table beside himself, peering at the little letters and pictures. "How do it... turn the page?"

So I showed him how to click and drag. Turned out unicorn magic was picked up by the phone, which struck me as strange, but good. "Go ahead, read, study, and consider what a version made for a pony would look like."

"Huh... Hmm..." He tapped at his chin as he scrolled down, then back up sharply, slowly back down. "Hmm... Sir, why couldn't you come a few dozen moons ago? This is all terribly exciting, I find myself wishing I had my youth back to tackle it with."

"Then your daughter wouldn't have been here to meet me," I noted with a little smile as I began to wax poetic. "Which means I wouldn't have learned about you, and we never would have worked together in the first place."

"Hmm." He tapped the screen with a hoof. "Sewer gas?"

Had I lost him that quickly? I pivoted topics and we talked about sewers and why the gas from one would be something worth avoiding.

"I have a present." Water Lily coiled partially in on herself, her glowing horn taking out a little glass bottle from her pocket. "It took quite a bit of study, but I have it."

She had been studying? "What do you have?" I crouched down to be more even with her.

She advanced suddenly, knocking me right over onto my back. "Stay," she firmly ordered as her magic grabbed at my pants and began working them free. Tight had wandered off, thankfully. "I'm going to restore that wonderful smooth skin of yours."

"You found a cure for Poison Joke?" My surprise was as naked as my bottom half. "That's great!" But if she had it, how had it been a secret years later? A forgotten discovery?

"It's quite difficult to test, so you'll be serving that role. I'm fairly certain." The cork of the bottle popped out with a loud suction noise before she brought it closer to me. "Let's focus on your feet. I know those hooves are not what you're used to, so..." She began to dab cool cream just where the hard surface of my hoof met with living flesh. "My wonderful furless marvel, let's restore you."

There was a soft tingling echoing through what my ankle and downwards. Something was surely happening, but I couldn't see it with her basically sitting on me, facing away. She was watching it in my place. I just got to admire her clothed back end, as lovely as it was. I raised a hand to gently pet her along her side and down over her rump.

She flicked her tail. "We can play after this," she gently admonished. "Right now I am your physician." She leaned forward, laying across me as she brought her head closer to my changing foot. "There we are... Wonderful furless skin."

That was when she licked me, right on the bottom of my foot. I couldn't help but laugh and squirm a bit and her hooves came in to hold the foot still. "Hold on there. I need to do the other one. You don't want to be half-hooved, do you? That would be the worst of all options, I imagine."

I got myself under control as I felt her starting to apply the goop to my other, er, only hoof at that point. Right where tough hoof met skin, the tingles coming back with it. "Thank you, for this. How long have you been working on this?"

"Since this happened to you." She flicked her tail right in my face. I doubted it was an accident. "I still loved you, and still do, but I knew I had to help you, and who else would do it? You are a brave creature, walking along so deformed from your birth form without making a fuss. If I suddenly had your legs, I would be beside myself with panic." She turned an ear. "Maybe a little turned on at having such bare skin, but mostly panicked."

I took gentle hold of her tail, brushing along it with my fingers. "You could be just as smooth, if you wanted, but you don't do that."

"I do not," she admitted. "You enjoy the feel of my fur, but you were not rushing to grow out your hair. You take great pride in controlling what little hair you do have. Why is that?"

Was it the same thing? "I suppose the body I have looks better with managed hair."

"And my body looks better with soft fur." She peeked over her shoulder. "I am glad we can share our bodies with each other." She stood up, stepping off of me and revealing my two human feet at the end of pony legs. "Closer to normal."

That... promised to maybe be bad. I pushed up to my regained feet and rapidly confirmed that my stance was off. Pony legs wanted to stand one way, human feet preferred another, leaving me in an awkward between. "Can you do the rest?"

She was eyeing me, looking over my hips and down across the furry part of my anatomy. "There is one thing." She held up a hoof. "Just one... I wish to be your partner... Forever, and would like children."

The stallion part of me began to react to her plain request for foals. "I have no... particular objection to that."

"You clearly have more than 'no objection,'", she noted, watching the reaction. "Which is why that one part I want to keep. It will give us our children. I need to figure out a way to get everything that isn't that back to normal... Will you suffer a little longer, for us?"

I leaned from one foot to the other, practicing my footing. "It's better than hooves, I think. I'll just need to practice, again. Water, thank you."

"No objection?" She lifted an ear. "That is... a very sensitive and personal part of your body. I would object to mine... not being mine." She leaned forward faintly, tail lashing. "Is that love?"

What if I was alright with my strange inhuman equipment? The way it worked on Water was a delightful additional bonus. "It is part of love." I reached for her, the one pony that didn't object to my touches, and began petting her soft ears and head gently. "Figure out how to get my legs back though. I don't need pony legs."

"No you do not," she flatly agreed, suddenly turning away. "I will return your human ones as quickly as possible." Without further word, she trotted off, leaving me in quite a state.

At least I had hands.

A sudden laugh broke that thought. Easy's head was peeking out from under her blanket. "She just did that... Cruel mare. Poor stallion. Don't look at me though. You won't get any pity hornjobs out of me."

"Jesus!" I grabbed for my clothes, scrambling to get decent again. "I thought you were out."

"I was taking a nap," she corrected with a leer. "You don't have to rush. I've already seen that, even mid-use." She sat up, blanket rolling off of her. "Besides, if I touched you, Water would murder me, then cry herself to sleep. We wouldn't want that."

On the positive, her presence and attitude had done a nice job of acting as a dousing of cold water. I was entirely unaroused, and soon dressed. I could fit into my old shoes again, that was nice. "No, we would not. Did you get the ladders?"

"Days ago," she corrected, rolling her eyes. "Didn't I mention it? The dogs are busy pounding them into the stone. I even tried one, climbed right down into the waterways and back up again without a problem. There's a lot more holes to get laddered though."

"Your dad's doing great work. That tavern's thrilled with the outcome, and it's priming everyone else."

"You don't need to tell me." She hopped down, her glowing horn pulling a bundle of paper free of a drawer. "I have a long list of ponies and businesses that want to be next. Everyone's that anyone wants water on demand."

Possibility. "We don't have infinite budget." I pointed at Easy. "Why don't you schmooze with these ponies a little, drop a hint that contributions towards the project will bump them up the priority."

"Will it actually?"

That was a plain question, but with a plain answer. "Yes. Everyone will get one eventually, but we can start with those who are paying for the work themselves. Meanwhile, have your dad work on getting a public fountain going. I want something nice and central, where ponies will rejoice to only have to go there instead of all the way outside the city."

"Ooo, yeah, that'll get tongues flapping." She clopped her fore hooves and got into a lively trot. "I'm right on that, Boss."

"One thing! There should be very clear signs that the fountain is not for splashing, entering, or making dirty. We want to be hygienic."

"What?"

"Healthy." Language was a funny thing at time. "No one wants to drink another pony's sweat, right?"

Her face screwed up with distaste. "Yuck, no. Alright, that makes sense. It's not a river. I'll let him know." And off she went to deliver the news.

She really had turned out to be a good manager.

Of course, I had other things to do.

Author's Note

A return to humanity... mostly? Would you be alright with this arrangement?

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

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48 - The Water Must Flow

The burbling water was difficult to see for many. Quite the crowd of curious ponies had gathered to watch the fountain be installed. More had shown up after that when the water began to come. As I had instructed, little plaques were installed informing ponies to help keep it clean for everyone to enjoy.

A mare wandered up out of the crowd, approaching Tight Fit. "Can I get some?" A bucket floated just to the side of her. "I was going to head to the river, but this is just as good?"

"Even better," assured Tight with a proud grin. "It's got a filter on it to make sure there's nothing in there but the crispest, cleanest water. It's like the water nobles enjoy, but for everyone."

"For everyone," she repeated, sounding stunned at the idea. But she wasn't stopped, so she brought the bucket down and easily filled it with water. Floating over, she sniffed it lightly, and probably smelled water and the wood of her bucket. "It's lovely! Thank you!"

"Aw shucks. 'twere Mister Langerman's project. I'm just happy to play a part." That was when he waved at the strange mutant, I mean me. Ponies weren't entirely sure in their reaction, but the clops came, and soon others approached to get their share.

Easy appeared from the crowd just as Tight was coming towards me, causing a three-way meeting. "Here we are." A roll of parchment emerged from her into view. "A list of 'kind' contributors in order of donation. I'll tell you, Boss, I thought you were giving me a rough assignment, but this hasn't turned out bad at all."

I didn't reach for the list, letting Tight Fit lay claim. "Have they been trying to butter you up?"

"That's a new saying? They want me to be impressed, so they go out of their way for me." She licked over her lips. "Got to taste drinks and try fancy foods I never did before. I never made time for opera, but there I was, sitting with some fancy pony watching them sing."

About that. "You don't count that, I hope?"

"What? No." She shook her head quickly. "They can be nice all they want, but the bits are what I ordered by, not the gifts on the side." An ornate monocle floated into view and perched on her face over one of her eyes. "Even if I do like some of the gifts. You can't pay for this work with a monocle anyway."

"You're doing great." I looked towards Tight. "And you, stallion of the hour." He beamed. "You're bringing this the last mile, and it's looking great." I could see the crowd moving up, about four lines created, orderly queues where people would get some water and move aside for the next. Spirits seemed high. "Ah, Easy?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"How are we looking on incoming and outgoing pipes?"

She slapped her hooves together with a loud clop. "The dogs are doin' great! Almost done." She pointed to the fountain. "That one's doing the whole trip, and it makes a nice waterfall out of the city. I saw it, looks great."

Another pony nearby perked their ears. "There's a new waterfall?" Just like that, word spread rapidly. The wastewater would become another sight to see. I couldn't help but imagine that would fade as the water darkened with the various filth that a city could produce. Or maybe it wouldn't? It was a magical world. That wasn't high on my list of things to worry about.

"Sir." Tight inclined his head, moving past me. I followed him, Easy trailing along with. "I've been studyin' your magic book." It floated into view and approached my hand. I took it back easily. "I think I have a version worked out. Somethin' a pony could hop onto, sit down, and do what they have to do, nice and clean."

A step forward, a good step forward, from a lot of other options. "Great. Instead of lunging ahead and installing that in a random pony's house, why don't we make it a show for our benefactors?" I pointed up at the castle we were living in. "I'll get permission for you to have run of one of the bathing rooms and you can install it in there for them to see and gawk at."

Tight blinked with obvious surprise. "You want me to put the indoor outhouse next to where you bathe? I thought you were trying to make it cleaner." He rubbed the side of his head with the flat of a hoof. "How does that make sense?"

I had defaulted to how I saw them back in the human world. "It doesn't have to be there. A little private room's fine. I'll see if we can't get some space for one of those, along with a sink to wash yourself afterwards."

"No stinky hooves," suddenly blurted Easy. "Sounds swanky." She glanced over to the fountain where the crowd was beginning to peter off. "Looks like most ponies got their water. A success I'd say." Suddenly she hopped in place, looking back to us. "Hey, I get it!"

Tight smiled gently at his daughter. "What do you get?"

"Why you'd put them together." She sat and brought up her hooves to put them together. "All those pipes. You don't want to have to bring them all through a house, especially a small one. So you have one room, the water room! That's where all the water is, so you have your indoor outhouse and your bath and your sink all in one place. Ha, good thinking."

I... hadn't even put that together myself and my little manager had put the pieces together without any prompting from me. I allowed a laugh free. "That's exactly the idea. For the castle, not a big deal. They have a lot of room. For individual pony houses..."

"I see..." Tight turned to look at the closest dwelling. "That could be a problem, tryin' to get pipes all over, but if they all go to one place... The water room. Very good. I understand now." He clopped a hoof on the ground and started forward. "I have plans to mildly work on. Tell me when I get to--"

The paper that floated with him changed in color as Easy grabbed it in her magic. "Your work is right here," she reminded. "Start from the top."

"Oh! Yes, of course." He tucked the paper away. "Silly me. Thank you." And off he went in a slightly different direction.

"So, how am I doing?" She was beaming up at me, her tail swaying back and forth. "Best manager you ever had, right?"

Only manager I ever had, but I let that part slide. "You are doing an exceptionally great job. Your father will work on round one, but don't let up. Make it clear you're working on round two, so if they want to be on the top of that list..."

"They should contribute," she finished with a firm nod. "And I get to enjoy the high life a little longer. The most generous ponies already gave it up, so I'll have to go for new angles, or hope other ponies getting it inspires them to not want to be left behind." She raised a hoof. "Now, I love my father, don't get me wrong, but since we have a little more money, maybe we should get another pipe pony or two? Waiting on dad to pipe the entire town may be a long time."

"An excellent point." With the donations coming in, my budget had expanded, and we had a process... "Would your father get upset teaching others how to do as he's done so far, assuming they know how to work with pipes?"

"He'll complain a lot." Her shoulders lifted. "But he'll also get over it if it's his job. So, my suggestion--"

"--Take a break from schmoozing to recruit some talent," I cut in. I couldn't have her coming up with all the ideas. "Let's speed this process along, but no cutting corners. Quality craftsponies."

"Only the best," she agreed before she vanished without even a goodbye, just some sparkles that faded quickly.

She enjoyed her teleporting way too much. I had other business.

"You stole it!" I was being suddenly pushed against a castle wall by a realy irate looking, scraggly-maned, stallion. "You took it from me!"

"What'd I take?" Despite being pressed, I actually felt more sorry for the stallion than angry. He looked like he was really worn down. "Want to talk about it?"

"There is nothing to discuss." He shoved, but there was nowhere to go, so it was more like he was giving the most aggressive nuzzles possible. It was almost adorable. "I was gonna make that fountain! Me!"

Wait... "You're a plumber then?"

"What's that?" The nuzzle-attack faded. "I make things, with water." He waved a hoof wildly, ignoring the looks of ponies passing by at the fuming he was doing. "I was gonna make a fountain, for all th' ponies! It was gonna be... so good." He sank then, tears streaming down his face.

Had this been a pony that would have done it, had I not come along and changed things? Well, damn. "Hey, calm down. You're exactly the kind of pony I was about to start looking for."

He looked up at that, ears askew in different directions. "You were? What for? To laugh at how you did it first?"

Let me restate; ponies are adorable. Sad ponies were adorable in all the wrong ways. I sank to my altered knees and gently brushed away some of the tears on his soggy face. "Not that. We have so much more work to do, and we need talented water workers. You know how to pipe?"

"Know how?" He suddenly puffed his chest out, striking a proud pose despite his teary state. "It's what I do! The rich ponies don't understand the value in movin' water instead of making it with magic." He sat and brought up his hooves to wiggle them as if to emulate magic auras. "Don't get me wrong, love mah magic." He pointed up at his horn.

"I was just setting up the way for you. There's so much work to do, and you sound like somepony that could do it."

"Somepony?" His tongue ran over his lips. "Huh, funny... I like it. Yeah, I'm somepony that can do it! I love fountains. The one you made, I can do better."

Could he? "We have water coming into and leaving the city now. If you work with me, you can attach a new fountain to that, get all the water you need."

"You're lyin'!" He thumped me right on the chest with the flat of a hoof. Horses have hard hooves, ponies included. "The dogs are digging the tunnels, and ponies set the pipes. You ain't none of those."

"Who do you think told them to do it, and has permission from the council to have it done in the first place?" I stood up, partially to avoid being chest-thumped again. "Where are you staying? I'll send my manager over to speak with you. If she likes what she sees, we have so much work for you. Fountains are just the start."

My aggressive recruiting seemed to be defusing his anger, fidgeting instead. "Oh well... in the castle here... I was gonna go in front of the council to... argue mah case." He reached up behind his head, rubbing his scraggly mane. "But... if yer bein' honest, maybe I don't need that... Just tell them to look for Pipe Dream. I won't be far." And he turned away before looking back at me. "Tell me and be honest. You aren't playing a joke on a stallion, are you?"

"Is this pony bothering you?" A guard had arrived, looking at Pipe with obvious disdain. "I can have him removed at your word."

"No! No..." Having my talent tossed on the street would be counterproductive. "I think he'll be with me shortly."

49 - Status Report

"I'm glad you could make the time to see me," the stallion speaking those words was seated in a large comfortable chair behind an equally ornate chest. He wore a set of glasses, itself a status symbol for how expensive they were. "I hear you've been quite busy."

I was seated across from him, in a smaller chair, a reminder that he was the ruler of that little office. "In all the right ways. Things are proceeding even better than I could have hoped for. This--"

He held up a hoof for quiet. "That is why we are here. I am the financier." He inclined his head towards a bag of bits there on the table. "While the council can approve the start of a project, it is by my word alone that they continue to receive funding. I am here to audit what, exactly, the kingdom's bits have been spent on, and what you plan to spend them on next."

I hadn't met that pony before. He gave off the impression of wanting facts, nice and orderly. Very well. I dug out my phone and soon had a document open. I flipped it around and nudged it towards him. "Here is a copy of my latest budget. It goes over each thing bits were spent on."

"I say..." He picked up the phone in his magic, eyes narrowing at it. "What manner of... no matter. It seems to only have part of the report, where is the rest?"

"Alright if I come around?" He floated the phone back to the middle of the desk where I could reach it. "That also works." I reached and showed him how to scroll up and down and left and right and soon he was looking around intently.

A floating quill began to write busily, copying down the budget line by line, I could see upside down. "Mmm... What are these negative numbers? You're receiving money?"

"My manager is approaching the upper crust and prioritizing them based on the contributions they make," I explained, gesturing in the air. "And we're--"

"--Accepting bribes?" One brow went up. "Hardly seemly behavior."

"The money is going directly back into the project." I pointed at the floating phone. "As you can see, every bit is accounted for. Their money isn't for me, not a single bit. Their contributions mean we can get this done faster and ensure everyone has flowing water."

"I can see what you've recorded, but how can I be sure every bit has been recorded?" He set the phone down in reach, so I took it back. "It's not an entirely new idea, to attempt to rally the nobles behind a project, but typically this is done without material rewards."

"Is it a reward?" I sat up in the chair, even if it was sized for a pony's haunches. "When we are done, everyone will have the same pipes, the same sinks, and the same everything else leading to their home. The only difference is who gets it first."

"I should imagine some will look fancier than others." A faint smile touched his lips. "But you can hardly stop them from redecorating. Yes..." His quill worked busily as he reached for a binder and flipped it open. "You've only used 47% of your budget. At this time, you were scheduled to be coming up on 65-80% of it, which is why I scheduled this meeting." He leaned forward, quill still dancing. "I scheduled this meeting months ago."

Had it been months? Time flew when I was getting things done. "The influx of funds through our prioritizing has lowered the pressure on the financing. We are having new plumbers joint the workforce. We're up to three, with two more getting up to speed. They will take more bits, but will get the project done far more quickly than the original plan of only having one."

"One pony, for such a large task? I'm glad that's been put to rest." The quill scratched at the paper. "Still, with such efficiency, do you require ongoing funding?"

Ah, the bane of governmental spending. If you were good with your money, well, did you actually need money? "The project is only going to increase in speed. We are also keeping some set aside for repairs, upkeep, and accidents. Though we've managed to avoid it so far, somepony will invariably break a pipe somewhere, and we'll be called on to repair it until a full guild of plumbers is established."

His glasses fell a few inches down his snout. "You are forming a guild? Of what was that? Plums? What do plums have to do with it?"

"I will not be." As if I knew much about guilds, or the work a plumber actually did. "I will be encouraging a pony to do so." What did plumber mean, as a word? I'd have to look that up later. "He's good with pipes, and I'll nudge him towards organizing with the others."

"Tight Fit?" he asked, eyes falling to his sheet. "Your first 'plumber'?"

"Actually, no." I had other, larger, plans for that clever pony. "Pipe Dream, one of our newer ones."

He muttered as he worked down the paper until the name came up. "Ah, here he is. More leadership skills?"

"More focused skills," I corrected with a little smile. "He only wants to work with pipes, so I say he should be in charge of it. Tight Fit has wider dreams."

"Dreams, yes." Another scribble. "Well, I doubt he can compare to you, Sir. Your dreams seem without capacity. There were many awaiting your dismal failure." He set his quill down in its ink vial. "You've won me no few bits by what I am about to announce."

That was either good or bad. "Which is?"

"I approve the continuation of this project, at the same continuing budget level. I expect another meeting with you to review your numbers. Continue to keep track meticulously of every bit given or spent. If you continue to run low, I will wish some of it back. The city, and the kingdom as a whole, does not lack for projects in need of coin. There is little reason for you to hold onto more than you need."

He suddenly leaned forward. "I will be reviewing those expenditures. Do not purchase what need not be purchased. I know when books have been altered for my benefit."

There was a pony that took his job seriously, but he seemed a straight shot. I offered a hand. "A pleasure meeting with you. We'll catch up in another few months then?"

He looked at my hand suspiciously a moment before he imitated the gesture, offering a hoof towards me. Oh how he jumped when I took hold of his hoof in my fingers, but we managed a shake, mostly of my own initiative. He reclaimed his hoof and sat up with a little throat clear. "Yes, well, I have many other projects to review. That will be all."

That was a dismissal if ever I heard one. I rose, gave a little nod, and went off to pursue other work.

"Something's bothering me." There was Easy, her hooves hanging off the edge of her bed, her tail swaying behind her. "You have everything accounted for. I help with that." She turned one hoof towards herself with pride. "But there's at least one person not getting paid a bit for all the work they're doing."

I quickly ran through the list I could think of. "There's Tight, he has a set wage. Pipe, Quarter?"

She shook her head slowly. "You are a creature of perfect innocence, or just an idiot, and I lean towards the latter." She thrust the same hoof at me as had been pointing at herself. "You, ninny. You're not getting paid! You add all your expenditures as project expenses, but that's dumb and you're dumb for doing it. You're doing a lot of work like everyone else getting bits."

I hadn't even really thought about it. There I was, a crazy space alien, there to give them hints for a better tomorrow. Did I deserve any money on top of that? I had gotten what I could have hoped for. A romantic partner that adored me, a group of friends. I had respect and was valued.

And almost none of it was specifically my work. I was borrowing it all from people long since dead, stolen and spirited away to another world without their leave and without giving them an ounce of credit, however that would have worked if even I had tried.

Which I hadn't.

"You look like you forgot where you put something." She raised a hoof to her chin. "Or you realized I'm right and you're fishing for a snappy retort."

"No, you aren't wrong," I assured. "It's complicated."

"Try me?" She sat up, her blanket flowing off of her. "I may be your 'subordinate', but I'm a friend too, right? Lay it on me. Unless this is business, in which case why do I have to tell you to tell me?"

I smirked at that, sinking on my own bed. "Look, just about every idea I've come up with isn't my idea."

"Uh huh?" She inclined her head faintly. "They were... from wherever you're from, right? Really common there?"

"Very," I agreed with one big roll of a hand. "None of this is my innovation."

"So?" Her magic thwipped my nose. "They're not here, making it happen, and you are. Even if we just called you the 'director' of it all, that deserves bits. You are a diplomat, a lobbyist, and the overseer of this enormous project. Even if we assumed you were working with other people's books, that deserves bits!" She huffed as she sat up. "Besides, I know that isn't all you've been doing."

"What else have I been doing then?" Had I lost track of it somewhere?

"My dad can't stop gushing about it." Oh how her eyes rolled. "You've given him a new lease on life, sparked a raging inferno between his ears that will not shut up, and neither will he! And he talks about you, all the time. 'He wants to share it all, so ponies who never meet us can use our work and know our name', he said, and he's all shaking." She leaned forward, her hooves withdrawing to support her weight on her folded legs. "You're doing a lot."

I... was doing a lot. I worked every day. Maybe I was just being stupid. "Well, alright... but how much should that pay?"

"You were just talking to the financier, right?" When I nodded, she smiled. "Then you have someone to ask. He did warn you about unneeded expenditures, so you have all the excuses to--"

"--ask him what is a fair and proper amount." I clapped my hands. "You're right. I'll see about getting a moment with him a bit earlier than he planned."

"Do I hear celebration?" The door opened, revealing Water Lily entering with a tray atop her back, covered in a metal dome. "That is one of your cute little things. When you are happy, you enjoy striking your naked flesh against naked flesh. It makes a sound a pony cannot."

Easy took that as a challenge, raising her hooves and imitating the motion, but her hooves made loud clopping noises no matter what angle she tried. A clap was not something her anatomy could make easily. "Huh..."

Water trotted up to me and turned to the side. "I have brought refreshments. I hear you had a meeting today with a pony that has reduced others to tears and open wailing, but instead you are cheering. It went well?"

I reached for the dome, grabbing its handle and lifting it. Underneath were a variety of finger sandwiches, which they did not call that, and a smattering of nuts and fruits. There was also a flask of some unidentified fluid. A little lunch, as promised. "I am surrounded by wonderful people."

So I told her how it went, and enjoyed what she had brought, which I shared with her and Easy, of course. Water brought more than enough for me and I doubt it was by accident.

Author's Note

A chapter of review, I think. Let us look back at what we have accomplished.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

50 - A Small Design

Tight Fit's horn glowed softly, a lever glowing the same color. "Thank you all for coming. This is the culmination of about half a year of thinkin' and plannin'. I hope... one day... a pony I never meet will enjoy this. They may know my name, or not, but they will feel my hoof on their withers, makin' their day a little brighter."

Soft clopping rippled through the gathered crowd. I was the odd one out with my clapping.

"Now, let's show what I've done." The lever came down. A rod lowered into the running stream and began to rotate, propelled by the motion of the river itself, like a drill that faced towards the current of the water and spun around and around by the grooves in its surface.

A small red light moodily flickered. It was barely a light at all, but Tight Fit was already grinning like a fool. "Yes! I'll just..." He hurried around his generator and soon everyone could hear him tinkering with it. The gloomy red light became brighter, filling with the glow that inspired a new wave of clops.

There was a noise like a pop, and the light faded instantly. Tight poked his head around to see it. "Oh... the light didn't handle that very well... Still a work in progress, but you saw it! Electricity, controlled!" He gestured widely at the machine, but it had little left to show for its effort.

Some ponies began to rise and wander off. Celestia was not one of them, striding towards Tight Fit. He saw her and looked a little nervous. "I just need to revise the lamp, you see. It'll take a little more time. I hope you aren't--"

She placed a hoof on his nose, silencing him. "Does this device create smoke?"

Tight blinked softly, clearly surprised by the question. "No, Ma'am."

"Did he tell you how to make this?" She didn't point at me, but I think Tight and I both knew who she meant.

"I borrowed his library, but I made it myself." Some of his pride was returning. "This is a new thing. The Tight Generator!"

"Then I would see you continue." Her hoof lowered to the ground. "He trusts you with his library?"

Tight Fit's ears danced. "He... wanted to see what I do with it, Ma'am. He's encouraged me to build and try new things." He put a hoof behind his head. "It's all new, but he hasn't told me what to do with it, just set me on it like a foal given wooden building blocks. I right feel like a foal again." He suddenly pointed to the dead bulb. "I'll fix that!"

"I want pony solutions to pony problems," I added, joining the conversation. "As much as I enjoy being here, and being part, I am not a pony. One day I may not be here, and if all the solutions are made for me, where will you be?"

Celestia glanced towards me, a flicker of her eyes, but her attention was on Tight. "I would see you continue this, to master electricity." She leaned in closer, their noses almost touching. "I ask only that you avoid smoke. Can you do that?"

I don't think Tight Fit was used to Celestia taking such a direct interest in him. He was glancing about nervously. "I... planned to, Your Highness. I prefer fluids. I was the first pipe worker Sir Langerman had, so it just made sense, to me, to go to my old friend, water, to make electricity."

Celestia nodded as she turned away, apparently satisfied with her words. "Ian." She was closing with me. I wasn't that far away, a few steps and it was over. "You seem to be fixated on the long game. Has no one informed you, that is my profession?" A little smile touched her lips. "I would hear your plans to create pony solutions. Send me a missive." And off she went, trotting back towards what other business she had.

Easy threw a leg over her father suddenly, hugging him by the neck with one arm. "It worked! Mostly. Pity about the light going out."

"That was poorly timed," he agreed. "I read how the humans got around that, but I can't do that... I'm trying to make a pony bulb, with what we have." He returned the gesture, hugging her close. "Thanks for coming to see it."

"As if I would miss my dad showing off!" She pushed away with a big smile. "You looked so proud! It'll only get better, I'm sure of it."

"You did good." I clapped him on the shoulder. "You did what you actually set out to do. Making light bulbs isn't your specialty."

"No... reckon it isn't." He turned to look at the generator. "But it isn't doing much without somethin' to... do."

It was true, a generator not connected to something was just a noise maker without a purpose. Then an idea hit me. "What if we used this to make up for the sudden river?"

"Hm?"

Easy gestured at her dad. "What he said. What are you talking about?"

I pointed to where a basic covering had been made to allow traffic past. "What if your engine could raise and lower that as needed, and the gate behind it?"

Tight frowned as he fidgeted from hoof to hoof. "Well... mmm... We'd need a motor, like the one you built... wrap the chains up in it... turns... carries... Yeah... Yeah!" And he galloped off, apparently overtaken with an idea. I didn't stop him.

Easy was sighing with a smirk. "And he'll be busy for a little while. Why'd you go and do that?"

"Because he has to succeed." I gestured at the still humming water power generator. "This works, but doesn't do anything, and I think that's bothering him, a lot. It needs to get something done, then he can say he did something."

"Speaking of that." Her magic flipped the switch back to the off position. "No reason to have that going right now."

"This is only a stopgap..." There had to be more ponies than Tight Fit, working in other fields. They had to make a foundation that built on itself. Progress, for ponies. "For now, let's go."

"The project's done, Sir." Work Pants nodded softly. "Water's flowing right. Not much more to be done. The rest is out of our hooves. I hear the dogs are about done too, but not much we can do to help them finish up."

I thrust a hand out and it was met with a hoof. "It was a pleasure having you on the team."

"Likewise, Sir." He inclined his head. "If you have further need of us, send word to the guild."

Guild? "They've taken you back then, besides my work?"

"How could they not?" He smiled a serene smile. "We have a reputation now, a good one. We're the ones working to bring water to the city, and we did a good job, didn't we, Sir?"

"Without a doubt." I gave a thumbs up, even if he likely didn't see that gesture often. "Great! I was worried a moment you'd be going right back to being hungry after me."

"The fear had been there, Sir... But it seems it was unfounded. I'll continue leading my ponies and we'll have other things to build." He reached up for his hat, tilting it towards me. "Take care, Sir. Maybe we'll work together again."

I didn't feel sad when he left. I knew, someday, his descendant would be rich and well off, but also a good pony. I had handled that correctly.

Speaking of the things he had built...

Water was flowing just a foot away. "Clean water." The dog pointed. "Dirty water." He walked down a narrow tunnel to show me water with unfavorable smells. The two were separated by stone, and a big metal door. "Dirty water get bigger." He dropped to a knee and reached down to put a hand just over where the water rushed. "Half big before."

"We're getting more and more of the city connected," I explained. "More ponies using the water, more dirty water."

"More dirty water," he agreed, rising back to his feet. "Who clean?"

"The water flows out, doesn't it?" I pointed where I thought the outgoing spigot was.

"Dirt." He suddenly grabbed me and pulled me over, his other hand thrust down into the murky water. "Look."

There, at the bottom, it was small, but it would grow. The sewers needed cleaning and upkeep. Of course they would... "That will be up to the ponies."

The dog scoffed at that, thrusting me back suddenly so hard I almost fell over. "Pony not know tunnels. Give job." He thrust a thumb at himself. "We clean, get paid."

That really wasn't how that was supposed to go. "What about the land you were promised? If you're doing this, you're not using the land."

The head dog shrugged. "Take it. Some go. Some stay, work." He thumped his chest. "Go talk ponies. Tell them. Give job."

Another dog gave a bark from across the dirty waterway. "They not listen. Not want us around. We take land, go."

"That's not true. They let me stay around." I mean, really, I was pretty not-pony. "I'll talk to them."

"You talk, we go." The other dog stormed off, apparently set on their path. They would become the diamond dogs of Ponyville. But maybe they didn't all need to be that?

"I'll do what I can."

"Good." He clapped me on the shoulder. It was about as bad as being shoved. They were strong! "You smart, listen. See problem, fix. We fix, get paid." He nodded, confident in his logic. "We wait."

There was one thing... "If you want to make a good impression, you need to look the part."

He scowled at that. "Not pony."

"Not pony," I agreed. "Doesn't mean a diamond dog can't look good. Come with me." It was my turn to put a hand on his shoulder and start guiding him. For all the shoving he had done, he seemed alright with me doing it back. "I'm going to get you a new set of clothes. They need to see you're worth respecting."

He made a little canine noise that I think roughly translated to 'what?', but he came with me. We emerged into town and I got to use my new discretionary funds to get him into something smart looking. "Now, these clothes aren't for work."

"What point of clothes not to protect?" He pulled lightly at his new vest, turning left and right as he regarded himself in a mirror.

"They do protect, but not from work. They make you look good. They make ponies see a creature worth treating decently." I ran a hand along my own shirt. "The fancier the clothes, the more they think you have money and manners, and the more they want to work with you."

"Protect from stupid ponies." He grinned a little, uneven canine teeth on display. "Get it. Look fancy. Get job."

"Get job," I agreed, offering a hand. Unlike the ponies, he knew the gesture and met the hand with one of his, making a proper shake of it. "You don't want to call ponies stupid. They'll be paying you."

"Oh... yeah. Good thought." He nodded at me as if I had just shared a secret with him. "Not call boss stupid to face, bad idea. Used to you boss. You not boss?"

"Once the sewer is built, I'm not the boss," I assured. "So you need a new boss, the ponies. They can hire you for this."

"New boss... Yes. Make boss smile, get job." He dusted his new clothes lightly, not that they needed it. "Ready."

"Almost." And off we went. I had to set appointments, and get him before the council without making himself look bad. Surely that'd be easy, right?

The future would still look familiar, I hoped.

Author's Note

We jump around a bit in this chapter. A lot of good things are happening, I think. Things are getting done!

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

52 - I Am Not Your Answer

Dear Princess Celestia,

Oh, wow. Had I actually started a letter that way? It was accurate, however silly it made me feel. By the way, writing with a quill is not as simple as just treating it as a pen. I continued, trying to shake off such thoughts.

It was a pleasure getting as much done as I have. I hope this helps to make ponies both happier and healthier. But I'm not writing you to gloat about the sewers. You have great

It took some effort to widen those letters, making it properly bold.

citizens. They are brimming with the desire to make the world better. I brought nothing entirely new to your ~~world~~country, I just organized it ahead of time.

Side note, there was no backspace, and writing took too much effort. So I soldiered right on.

I know you've been interested in my 'library', but you have ponies already reaching for what it hints at with their own hooves. I am not here to replace them. What I propose, instead, is to help them. Do you remember Tight Fit's demonstration? His generator was making electricity quite well, but the light bulb failed. He wasn't trying to make a light bulb.

Another pony was. She heard and came running. They're together now, able to make electricity and light and both are tremendously happy about it. I want to make more stories like that. Also, I want future ponies to always have access to what they make. When Tight Fit is gone, will we forget his generator? We shouldn't. The progress of technology

I paused there, frowning at my words. Was I getting off track?

requires a base of what has been done.

My proposal, a library. In it, nothing but the works of the talented ponies who create new devices and new methods. You found a way to make trees grow better? Great, come here, show us clearly how it works, and it will be written down with your name. For a period of time (I suggest 30 years), anyone else who wishes to use the idea or device must go through you. After that, the idea is public. Anyone can use it. Anyone can improve it.

Your work becomes Equestria's. You are officially part of history. Think of that.

Ponies will not be paid, or charged, for this at first. You may wish to add a fee over time to cover administration costs involved in making sure the ideas and inventions are actual things and for filing and keeping track of it all. Make having a patent

Crap, I just used a new word. I'd better explain it...

a prestigious thing.

A patent is the held proof that you have registered your idea or device. It is proof that it belongs to you and should clearly define when it was registered and when it expires. Businesses that have need of things may visit that library, browsing the list of patents for something that does what they want.

If they find it, they will know right away if it's still valid or not. If it's valid, they seek out the owner for permission to use it. If not, they can copy the patent right there at the library and use it.

To be fair, I should warn. You will need a judicial system to watch for bad faith actors. Those who would copy another pony's idea or device when it was still protected. There will be some who see an active patent and not wish to deal with the pony. They should not be tolerated. Inventors get their 30 years (Please don't give into temptation to keep expanding the time period).

"How's it going?" Easy was perched upon her bed, watching me. "I can hear all those scratches. You going to bowl her over with some amazing new project?" She inclined her head. "Oh! I know! You want to make a big, uh, generthingie and connect it to lights all through the city so it's never dark!" She swept her hoof dramatically. "That'd be a sight."

"Generator." I dipped my quill carefully. "And it would be, but it isn't what I'm writing about. I'm trying to help more ponies make better ideas."

"You'll let them borrow that thing of yours?" She was learning forward, half-dangling off the bed. "Dad really liked his chance with it, but he said he doesn't want it now. Not sure I get why. Did he finish reading it?"

"I doubt that." The writing continued.

As their caretaker, you should foster in them a building pride. Each inventor will stand on the shoulders of great ponies before them who also made progress. They are all in this, together. It will be a great honor both to be the one who stands atop that great pyramid, and to one day have another pony scale right up on you. Perhaps, one day, you can teach foals about pivotal inventors, but I ask that you never forget to tell them that creation is always a collaborative effort.

It struck me...

I've been using the word 'pony' a lot. This should apply to any person of any race. If I were to invent something, I would submit it to the same library and follow the same rules. Creators from other kingdoms should be welcomed to add to this body of knowledge, knowing their work will be protected and held.

Similarly, you should respect similar efforts from other kingdoms. If you hear of one, consider coordinating with them. This is more of a long term thing. I doubt it will come up soon. First step, library, and the process of adding to it. Your people are full of great ideas, and they deserve to have them remembered.

I apologize if this isn't what you had in mind. I feel certain you were hoping for another vast engineering plan, but this is more important than any such thing. This is an engineering plan that will build a better Equestria, and that's a project that's worth undertaking, is it not?

I felt fur against my cheek. Easy had reared up and was peering over my shoulder. "What's that word?" She was pointing at engineering. "Wasn't that someone who makes like war stuff?"

Crap, she wasn't wrong... "It's time to evolve that word." I glanced over shoulder at her, almost bumping into her. "Engineers do make Equestria more prepared for a war, but we aren't aiming for that. Your father is an engineer. He saw a problem and made the solution. He mastered electricity."

"Zappy tubes!" She sang, falling off me to the floor and trotting away a few steps. "That was really impressive. Think you could fight with that, though? It's kind of big and heavy. You'd have to really work to get something to get close enough to zap."

"I hope we never fight like that." Attempting to electrocute your enemies? Equestria was better than that... "But we could keep a dark city lit. We could move water and raise and lower gates with it. There's so much more you can do with electricity that doesn't hurt anyone, but makes you more prepared."

"Maybe." She turned back towards me, her head pointed to a small window. "Are you done? You said I could read it afterwards."

"Didn't seem to stop you just a moment ago." I considered the words on the page. Was there more to write? I may have said too much, really... No, it was fine.

Eagerly Awaiting Your Reply,
Ian Langerman

I stood up and grabbed a vial of sand. Popping the cork, I gently sprinkled it over the page. "Once it's dried, you can take a peek."

"Or, I can cheat." She closed quickly, her horn glowing. The dust blew away without wind, leaving a dry page. She was soon in the seat I had vacated and was reading eagerly. Her brows raised, then lowered, scrunching. "That's a tough sale, boss..."

"In what way?" It was my turn to sit on my bed.

A knocking interrupted us. "Sir?" came Water Lily's voice. "May I come in?"

I reached over, stretching to grab it from where I had started and pulling the door open. "Come on in."

She trotted in, her magic closing the door behind herself. "Sir, ma'am." She dipped her head at each of us.

"Are you on duty?" I asked, Easy still frowning at the paper.

She reached up and casually booped her hat off, just to catch it in her magic. "Now I am not." She closed with me and hopped up beside me on the bed. "I am almost ready to finish restoring your lovely skin. I do hope you are not cross at how long it has taken."

It struck me. If Celestia went ahead with this, why would Twilight not have a cure for poison joke when it, too, would be patented? Of course, while she was an eager reader, it seemed unlikely she'd browse every patent ever made for the last 800 years or so. It was just as likely such a solution did exist ahead of time. She wasn't an herbalist. Those two facts did not a contradiction make. I wasn't making the Equestria I knew impossible.

"You look heavy in thought." She leaned in, pressing her lips to my cheek with a little peck. "Is it the sort you want me to distract you from, or should I give room?"

Easy tapped at the paper on the desk in front of her. "He just wrote a letter and I'm criticizing it, like the good manager I am. Now, as I was saying, why would anyone want to give their ideas?" She tilted her head. "If they just don't share it, they get to keep it forever. They could pass it on to their foals, family secret for as long as they want."

Water quirked an ear. "I apologize, but what are you talking about?"

I leaned back, hands going back to support myself in my slumped state. "I am proposing a library of ideas for new devices and methods. Anyone that put their idea or device in there would have legally protected ownership of that thing for 30 years. During that time, anyone else who wanted to use it would have to go through them, likely paying them for the pleasure. After that, the idea's open for anyone to use."

Water inclined her head left and right before she sat up, expression brightening. "So I could put my solution to poison joke in it?"

Easy snorted. "Why would you want to? You could get more money if you sold it yourself."

"I am not a merchant," huffed Water. "If I could put it there and let merchants buy it from me to make their own, that would make me much happier. And eventually everyone would have the cure, and that's good too. I don't want people to be sick with poison joke..."

My adoration for Water was swelling. I grabbed her suddenly by the sides and she squealed as we both fell over onto the bed where I could hug her properly. "You are such a good mare I can't even believe at times that I managed to get your attention."

Her cheeks warmed and she giggled, snuggling in against me. "You are too kind, but I like this idea. Besides, if I kept it a secret and someone else copied it, or figured it out, I would be just as out of luck. This way I have at least two hooves to stand on."

Easy suddenly groaned loudly. "Let me guess, you'll fill it with every idea you and dad had to go through to make the sewers."

"Of course." I didn't sit up, I was too busy snuggling my equine partner. "I have zero interest in making water system engineering my lifelong ambition. Let someone else see the patents and I'll gladly sell use to them."

Easy pointed at where my phone lay on my desk. "Will you patent their ideas?"

Author's Note

Easy, you ask hard questions sometimes. What would you do?

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

53 - On the Shoulders of Giants

A letter slipped under the door, sliding around and around until Easy's magic snatched it up and broke the seal without even looking to see who it was addressed to. "From Celestia," she announced as she read. "She wants to talk to you. Bet it's about the letter."

"Not a bet I'd wager against." I watched her eyes sweep back and forth over it. "When and where?"

"'At your earliest convenience,' and, 'Water will take you there.'" Easy shrugged softly. "Wait staff gets to know all the secrets sometimes. I don't get to come along for this, I assume?"

Having a friend there would be nice, but... "I'll have Water from the sound of it, and I bet she'd rather have some privacy." And she could dismiss Water whenever she wanted, while Easy would be more stubborn. "No reason to put this off."

I was soon striding through the hallways like I had somewhere to be, even though I wasn't sure where that somewhere was. Fortunately, Water found me not long afterwards, striding in an easy trot from the side to match my pace. "There you are. Are you wanting to meet her now?"

"If we can? No reason to delay this." Was I repeating myself? I hadn't said it to Water. "Did she seem happy?"

"She can be difficult to read. This way." Water began leading the way at a proper walk. She was on duty, so no touches or brushes were offered, just a maid leading the way towards her mistress. "She awaits you."

We were soon at a door too small to easily imagine Celestia fitting through it. Water knocked twice, then backed away. The door glowed golden and swung open. "Please, enter," bade the gentle tone of Celestia from within.

I stepped inside to see her not alone. Though the door had been small, the room was large enough to fit three ponies seated at the end of a table. She gestured to a spot at the opposite end of it. "Join us." The other two looked... like scholars, if I had to guess, which I did.

The male had a long beard and a heavy book in front of him. The female had big spectacles on her face that she was adjusting as I moved towards my position. "This is her idea?" she asked, pointing towards me.

"He," corrected the princess. "Sir Langerman is indeed the source of the missive I sent." She smiled at me as I sank onto my cushioned chair. "These are two clever ponies, as you would call them. They have ideas, though their talents are far more literary than that of practical problem solving."

The male sat up at that. "There are very practical problems to book writing and book archiving."

The female nodded in solidarity. "I could spend all day going over the things I wish we had, and the methods by which we could improve."

I supposed, to pony eyes, my clothed body gave few hints to my gender. "Nice to meet you both. As Celestia mentioned, I'm Langerman, Ian Langerman. Are you here to discuss the library idea?"

Both perked at that. The male spoke first, "You're authorizing the library project?!"

"How delightful," gushed the female, clopping her fore hooves and bobbing a bit, her glasses almost falling free. "I can not wait to begin. Why are we here instead of getting to it?"

"Still yourself," gently commanded Celestia. "We are here to discuss the idea." She pointed to Ian. "He will serve as an advisor, if you accept him. He has proven valuable with tips and insight alien to Equestria." Her smile deepened faintly. "With the humility to step aside and allow ponies to bring wonders to life. He has but one request."

Both sets of ears pricked at that. The male rolled a hoof for Celestia to continue.

"He would like a wing of the library to be dedicated to the storage of pony ideas. Both physical things, devices and the like, but also methods." She looked thoughtful a moment. "For instance... If someone were to dream up an improved way to get something done; till a field, harvest rocks, smelt metal, or even heal or treat a disease, it would be written down and stored in this library."

She leaned forward then. "Which means this library needs to be indexed in such a way that it is practical to search it by others looking for answers. It also needs to record when and by whom the 'patents' are registered with. For a time, any thing placed there cannot be used without permission of the one who put it there. After that, it becomes everyone's." She spread her hooves. "You two have come to me with many ideas, countless many."

She looked to the male. "Central Thesis, did you not have to spend so long recreating your master's technique for book binding?"

Thesis sank at that, sighing. "Years, lost. He was a genius, but he carried his wisdom to the grave and left me to walk his path behind him, blind and lost."

Celestia looked to the female. "Short Sight, didn't you have a trick of your own you wanted to share?"

Short was smiling, grinning even. "And it'll help with this project! My method of categorization would fit perfectly." Her clopping resumed, filled with eager energy. "No pony will suffer wandering the aisles in prayer of finding the right tome."

I decided to hop in, looking towards Short. "With this, you can write down the idea of your categories and release it to the world. While others can hold onto their ideas for a time, charging others, or simply denying them, you could lay it out for all to take advantage of from the start."

"Do you think they'd want it?" she asked almost instantly. "That would be so exciting..."

Central shook his head. "The book binding took too many years to simply give away. I will not be availing myself of that option."

Celestia nodded firmly. "And you would not be forced to, but, in that future day, when you have gone on, others will have that technique. No fresh student will have to re-learn it again. Doesn't that appeal?"

His fore hooves came together, not in a clop, but in a silent meeting. "I see the wisdom of it, Princess. Sir Langerman, it would be a pleasure to begin this project. Canterlot is in need of a truly magnificent library."

"And a category for 'patents', that's what you called it, is it not?" Short Sight looked to Celestia to get a nod, then continued, "A patent section would be just fine. I'll have to add that to my categories." She was already humming, likely imagining how it'd all fit together.

"Very well." Celestia's horn glowed as a paper appeared and writing began to adorn it from a floating quill. "I will give an initial budget, to be modified by the financier. It will be modest, as you do not have the full support of the council, but it means you can begin straight away."

I raised a hand, their eyes turning towards me. "Do you want me to come to the council to argue it?"

"Neigh." Celestia tapped the table. "I will bring it up. It will be done, but it takes time. I want to begin." She slid the finished paper over towards Thesis. "Here you are. I am naming you the head pony of this project, with Short Sight as your assistant and Ian Langerman serving as your advisor. I trust this is acceptable to you all?"

Short Sight adjusted her glasses back into position. "I am ready to begin. We should get an architect to plan things out. Neither of us are experts on that."

"An excellent idea," easily agreed Central Thesis. He stood up, sliding off the chair. "Thank you, Princess. We will not disappoint." He began to trot from the room, pausing. "Sir Langerman, are you coming with us?"

Celestia held up a hoof. "I need him for a moment longer. I will send him after you when I'm done with him."

The other two advanced past me, leaving out the door I had come in. When the door closed, I was alone with Celestia. "So, what's up?" I started. "You like the patent idea, I gather?"

"I trust this, too, is something present in your kingdom." She inclined her head at me. "Your warning, it struck similar to your dire warnings of smoke. Was that, too, something your people failed in?"

"The goal is to help spread information." I spread my hands. "An idea is at its most valuable when it's new anyway. Letting people hold onto ideas, be it methods, inventions, or even characters and stories, for too long can have a stifling effect on new things that would build on the old."

Celestia's ears raised. "Characters and stories? You did not mention either--"

"--We won't be doing that," I cut in. "That is a different, but related, thing. I wanted to do things one step at a time, not just try to do it all at once."

"Perhaps wise..." Her glowing horn brought a cookie over from a plate that had been ignored up until then, offering it towards me. "Will you fill this library with ideas? Surely you have more than I would dare to attempt to count..."

There it was. "About that, there is a related thing I wanted to talk to you about." I accepted the cookie but didn't bite into it just yet. "There exists knowledge that needs to be held, but just as strongly needs to not be available. Things for emergencies, for when all other answers do not work."

Celestia's brow raised slowly. "You would have me build a forbidden library?"

"A secretive wing of the library," I corrected. "Where only those you trust could enter." Where spells would end up in time for a Twilight Sparkle to run into and play time traveler. "Guarded and secure, for you and few others."

Celestia raised a hoof to her chin. "But if you were to put your ideas there, than how would a pony read it?"

"They wouldn't," came my blunt reply, crunching the cookie in half. "I will continue working as I am, giving little ideas, trying to help, but Equestria should pull itself forward. Its geniuses should be celebrated, not my people's."

"A secret... only turned to in the direst of situations?" When I nodded, she sighed. "You are asking me to lock away what I sought, to be the hooves that push away this incalculably valuable treasure of my own volition. You understand this, do you not?"

With a glowing horn, she conjured a sword of glowing golden light. "I could take it from you."

"But you will not," I stated as confidently as I could. She wouldn't... right?

"I could make you give it to me." She gazed into my eyes. "I could make you want to give it to me, to then retire to family life with your betrothed."

"But you wouldn't do that either." I hoped! She was making me really nervous.

"You are already one hoof into our world." She gently tipped a hoof. "A little nudge, you could become another of my ponies, beloved and cared for. You would want for nothing." She set her hooves on the table. "But that would break the heart of your beloved, who works even now to pull you back from that edge." She let out a slow sigh. "No, I would do none of those things. I will not steal from you, Sir Langerman."

"Allow me this question." She inclined her head, looking at me with one eye only, but quite piercingly. "Who are you to decide what we are worthy of?"

"I will not." I set my hands flat on the table. "That is why it will be recorded and sealed. You, or whoever is in charge, will make that decision, if there is a reason dire enough."

Author's Note

Yay, time to make a library! But does Celly agree with Ian's reasoning? Note that Ian was not put in charge of this project. An insult, or something else?

PS: Short Sight is adorable, fight me!

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

54 - Horrify Me

"There are things..." She tapped down her hoof in slow clops, her eyes locked on mine. "Things best locked away. We have some of those. The ritual to move the sun and moon, any unicorn could take part, not just me. But the taxing nature of it leaves them diminished, just a little. Every dawn and dusk, a little shred is stolen. Eventually, the pony is a husk, their magic completely shredded. You are left with a unicorn with no magic... and what sort of unicorn is that?"

"But not you." I recalled faint bits of outside-show canon about that. "It empowers you."

Her wings flared wide before slowly folding back, trying to control herself. "You know too much. Were you more ambitious, you could do so much harm, but you do not... You could be shaping our kingdom in your vision." She frowned, shaking her head softly a moment. "But there is more I would yet know."

"And that would be?" She was drilling, seeking. She didn't seem to be trying to sneak human knowledge from me, directly. That was something of a relief. "For however many tricks I share, you're still the ruler, and I'm just a guest."

Her hoof stretched towards me. "I do wish you'd stop saying that... You don't plan on leaving. You have accepted a paramour and promised loyalty. Back to the topic at hoof." She turned that hoof around, flatside up. "Frighten me."

"Pardon?" I struggled to think of what she meant by that.

"You instilled on me some shred of fear of smoke. You told me how bad that could be. Terrify me. Scare me." She lowered the hoof to point at me. "Tell me what awful things your people have made, that we must not even know of, that is worth locking this book of treasures away. Whisper to me the darkest secrets of your people, that I know to imitate them entirely is such folly I will never again consider it lightly."

Well, shit. There was a heavy question. Did I just jump to our greatest weapon? No, there were many beneath it that were just as horrifying. "Do you remember how the war began, the one we just resolved? A lone soldier hurling a weapon a considerable distance, impossibly far, by their standards."

"I do remember this." She nodded softly. "But that was a pony weapon, wielded in a pony way. What does that have to do with your people?"

"Imagine that power being in the hooves of even the youngest little filly. She would not even know what she was doing, but the result would be just as lethal. Many of the people in my kingdom have that power, to dispense death from afar, without need of strength, without the training a soldier would ever receive." I brought up one hand and held two fingers, pointer and thumb, close together. "Death comes in tiny packages, little rocks. They destroy your insides, tearing you open as it often hits so hard, it explodes out the other side of you, leaving you to bleed and suffer."

Her ears skewed at different angles. "What madness would drive a people to want such a thing? Are they victims of monstrous assault?"

"The only monster they see is in the mirror." I leaned forward, gazing back into her eyes. "With weapons meticulously built, they murdered any other species that could claim the title. They made a safe world, then turned on each other. If that alarms you, it gets worse from there."

She frowned at my tale. "My ponies would never..."

"With Celestia there to guide them, perhaps not." I hadn't meant to say that out loud. Too late. "But there are grander weapons. Weapons are one of our favorite things. The ability to fly faster than any pegasus, to drop heavy things from above, but they would not crush, they explode." I spread my hands in a pantomime of the fiery release. "Fire enough to make a dragon happy, leveling buildings and extinguishing lives."

"Does your ruler control this?" She inclined her head. "A grand weapon to protect their kingdom?"

"In a matter of speaking." I set my hands flat on the table. "What I described, there are hundreds of those, thousands of those. An entire field, ready to fly." Then it hit me. "What is the population of Canterlot?"

"Population? What a curious question. The last time we counted, there were many thousands." She tapped her chin, thinking on it. "Several tens of them. 6? Somewhere around there. Why?"

"Then we have more of this specific weapon than you have ponies in this city." I drilled the table with a finger. "We could erase Canterlot off the side of the mountain, reducing it to a smoking mess like the end of... a torch that's been used."

"Ian Langerman!" She suddenly shouted at me. "Why would such a violent people come to deliver us water? Why would such a violent people find love in a people so very alien to themselves? Can the same mind that dreams of such things then see beauty in the eyes of a creature so far removed from themselves? Enough." She brought up a teacup with her magic, taking a long sip. "Enough of that. I need to know more. What you describe is terrible, but I could simply not construct those. They do not sound simple. Could a lone pony even dream of making one? Could a lone human?"

"A person, or even a small group of people, would be hard pressed to make a jet," I easily agreed. "Let's move on to something that doesn't take as many people to do. Explosions, we like them. We like them a lot. For some holidays, we fire explosions in the sky just to watch the pretty colors they make. But when we are angry, we have mastered them."

"You already mentioned those." She shook her head slowly. "I am not any further scared."

"I didn't get to the best, worst, bomb." I pulled out my phone and quickly browsed to the right page. I twirled the phone and pushed it towards her, the video already playing.

She inclined her head and leaned in. "A desert. Seems..." Then the screen went white a moment. Her pupils contracted. She saw the heatwave. She saw the mushroom cloud climbing high into the sky. She saw heavy things bowled aside, the dummies of people incinerated.

"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds," I spoke softly in veneration. "It would take only one of those, just one, to make Canterlot a barren wasteland, the rest of it likely sent sliding down the mountain in pieces. We can use the same source to power entire cities much larger than Canterlot. We had enough of these bombs to make a good attempt to remove all life of the world."

She sagged in place, the cup approaching for another sip, but it shook in her grip. That had rattled her. "I... see... And this... This is the penultimate?"

"We improved on that design." I reached for my phone. "That was the very first we detonated. We built bigger. We built better. A single pony could make less-refined versions, if they knew how, and had the power supply, a rare mineral. It would not level things as well, but would make any area it exploded in unlivable, where anycreature caught in it would get sick and die."

"And this is a fate you would see us avoid. Tell me. Tell me and be truthful." She raised her eyes to mine, resuming the contact. "What do you see, when you look at us?"

"In you, specifically?"

"We can start there." She smiled gently. "We have met and talked before, though you seemed to know me before I knew you. What do you see?"

That wasn't a simple question. "I see an archetypal caring mother. I see someone that cares enough for her people, her ponies, she would remain on her throne for over a thousand years, not out of some want for power, but because she was afraid no one else could protect them as well as herself."

"Over a thousand years," she breathed, licking her lips. "Do you speak literally?"

"I won't answer that."

She frowned then. "Wicked thing." Her magic flickered into being around a cookie and she hurled it at me, bouncing off my chest. "Insufferable tease. Do... Did I look just as young, in that future?"

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose... not." She smiled faintly. "Allow a mare a moment of vanity. If I must rule as a wrinkled old mare, I will do my best to be dignified."

"You are ever a youthful vision," I allowed with a little smile of my own. "Some had theorized you are entirely unaging, immortal."

"Some?" She inclined her head. "Are we a famous thing, in your kingdom? How absurd to consider; that a people so unthinkably violent would wish to know of us..."

"There are subtler threats." I saw her perk. "Ideas can be the most dangerous thing."

"More dangerous than your bombs and the means to deliver them swiftly wherever you wish?" She sat up. "This I doubt, but do go on. Terrify me."

"Your people stand on the edge of many potential changes. If I rushed to offer it, your people would have more food than ever before. With it, you would have more ponies than ever before. Seeking opportunities they couldn't find on farmland far too productive to need them, they will flow into cities unequipped to handle them. Society will change. It must. It will be painful. Ponies will die and suffer."

"But you also hold the answer, do you not?" She brought her forehooves together. "Your people have already passed this point, I can see it in your eyes."

"The answer is a new world." I spread my hands. "And our answers... are not yours. The Equestria I know did not accept human answers to human problems. You emerged from this time in ways I don't know. You still had bustling farm communities connected to grand cities, some more advanced than others, each standing so proudly. I don't know how you reached that point."

Celestia sank back. "But you offered us water, and now offer a way to hold knowledge. You continue to offer. If you do not know how to reach the desired place, this vision, why do you meddle? What are you trying to do?"

"That... is evolving." She peered at me skeptically. "I'm being honest. When I first came, I thought I would just sprinkle ideas, change the world... The more I worked at it, the more I realized your world, your people, were more complicated than I gave them credit for. Just throwing ideas around wildly would, at best, see to their surface problems."

"We have many of those." She slid to her hooves, standing and approaching, the teacup setting itself down on the table. "Why not fix those?"

"Because your people deserve to stand on their own fe--hooves." I stood up as well, not feeling comfortable with her rising over me with the distance shrinking. "There are ponies that want to fix those problems. If I can open the way for them, that feels like a better answer."

"And so you turn away from providing answers." She was close enough for me to smell her gentle breath. "You are something of a mother yourself."

I had to consider that. "Uh..."

"Father, if you prefer." She inclined her head. "You would see your children grow. And we are your children, it would seem. You set your hooves on us with the utmost of care, trying to encourage us to make our own motions. Violent human, even the most fierce of beast can know peace, for their offspring, and you have decided we are that."

Not the way I would have put it. "You're cute!" I admitted with a frown.

"Look at you pout." I wasn't pouting! "Like a doting father, called on their pride. What father does not consider their children in such a way? Their fillies are the cutest things to ever walk. Their colts, the most handsome. Yes... Ian Langerman, I think I understand you now." She turned away, starting to stride for her part of the table.

"We will copy and seal your knowledge. We will reach only for it when all else is lost, when ponies simply cannot find their own way. But, I believe you hope, that will never happen." She looked over her shoulder. "Still, it will be a comfort, to know it is there."

She sat down, and so did I. She made a sweeping motion and the sweets floated to the side and down to the floor, leaving a single cake behind. She cut into it and divided it into two healthy wedges she put on crystal plates, one before herself, the other towards me. "Ian Langerman, water bringer, lightning bringer, and knowledge bringer. I accept you. Long may our relationship thrive."

She raised a glowing fork with all the ritual a royal pony could muster. "To the future."

"To the future," I echoed, a smile spreading. The future looked bright ahead of us.

And we ate cake.

Author's Note

Thank you for walking this path with me. Now you know why ponies have doorknobs! And other things that don't make much sense with pony anatomy.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

1 - I Arrive

I hiked up along the mountainside. There was a rough path carved out of the rocky surroundings, but nature had not been subdued. How they planned commerce to easily reach such a lofty city was beyond me. Well, that was a lie. I had several ideas, and that was why I was going. "We'll change this." I had exactly what they needed. Those colorful ponies and their backwards ways. They just needed a little help to get past the rut they had found themselves in.

Really, could you even blame them? They don't have hands, to start. They've accomplished quite a deal despite that, don't get me wrong. They've built castles and defended their nation against attackers from without and within. They farmed and they survived. They were no mere animals by a significant step. That didn't mean they were at the apex of their development.

I pulled out my phone. I had no signal, of course. Would that I could have GPS, but it would take a long time before the world was ready for that leap. I settled for pulling up a document to read about the proper construction of a road. It was nice to think of a proper road while I scrambled up the rocks and gravel of what they called a road and I would barely call a path.

The city came into view as I pressed through two large slabs of granite that formed an archway of sorts. Canterlot. It was their capital. It had gold leaf around edges of the castle as if to emphasize that point, but quietly drawn carriages, hanging lanterns, and a multitude of other small signs spoke of a civilization that had plenty of distance to go.

They were far more dressed than they were in the outskirts. The clothes were themselves hints. Each was different. They had to be. They were done manually. There was no machine to assist in the task of textile work. Still, they also spoke to economic success. They didn't need them but purchased or made them anyway. They were not a poor people. Each was a tiny luxury item worn proudly on equine bodies.

One of those equines approached me. It was a middle-aged stallion. "Pardon me, um, sir? Madame?" His eyes roamed me from top to bottom. I must have been quite a sight. Long human hair with a T-shirt and jeans made in a way his clothes certainly hadn't. "If you don't mind my asking, what are you?"

I swept an arm aside in a formal bow. "A pleasure to meet you. I am Ian, and I've come with important information for your queen."

"We don't have one of those." He shook his head. "We have a princess, she's just as good." He pointed at the castle in sight. "It's right over there, but they don't let ponies in except at particular times. Can't just have people swamping Celestia."

That was a name I had heard before. "I'll head that way."

"Good luck, uh, is Ian a stallion's name or a mare's one? You sound like a stallion, but I'm trying not to assume." He tapped his chin once before setting it back on the ground. "You're dressed strangely."

He was a sharp one. "I am a man, a stallion. You guessed right. Thank you." I moved past him, giving him a pat on the way past. Ponies were such cute creatures. How could you not want to help them?

He gave an equine snort before wandering off, likely to do whatever business paid his bills.

The city showed signs that I had feared. They didn't have an adequate sewage system, giving things an... interesting aroma, to be kind. Filth, liquid or physical, was not removed from most places, though the more affluent quarters I passed by kept such things out of their particular way, just making more mess for the rest of the city to endure.

Had they already suffered plagues? It seemed inevitable, with the way things were set up. Too many horses in too small a space with too little hygiene. It didn't much matter what city of what species it was. I counted myself as lucky. I was the only human around. I was in a sea of ponies, but none of them were a direct threat to my health, at least in terms of germs. Hopefully? Could magic diseases hop across species? I hastened my steps towards the castle.

The castle grounds were kept clean, as befit a place of royal station. Shame I wasn't allowed to just walk out onto them. The large guard that stood in my way had quite a frown and a spear held in his mouth, ready to make use of it. "Princess Celestia isn't seeing guests right now, not that I think you even qualify as one of those."

He had a friend, an equally burly pegasus. I should note, for being burly ponies, they were still ponies. They had to look up to meet my eyes, and maybe that made them nervous. Both wore shining brass armor that had been cleaned quite recently. The pegasus waved a wing up at me. "What even are you?"

"I--" I bowed for them, trying to show some eloquence. "--am Ian, a human with information that Celestia would dearly like to have, I'm certain."

They shared a look before the earth pony nodded. "Do you have something to prove she sent for you?"

"She didn't." I could see them tense. "That doesn't mean she doesn't want what I have." I needed proof fast, right! I pulled out my phone and got a video going. Fortunately, I had a movie or two on its spacious SD card.

Both of them leaned in to see the corporate logos and the start of an action movie I happened to have at the time. One of them tilted his head. "You're a magician then? You want to perform for her?" He sat on his haunches. "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

The other, the pegasus, bobbed his head. "If you were here to answer the call for entertainers, you just had to say so." He extended a wing to the left. "Head that way around the castle until you get to a silver-colored door. That's the entrance for servants and the like. They'll get you to the right place."

That was not what I had in mind, but, perhaps, I should not look a gift horse in the mouth. "Thank you both." I stuffed the phone away and got to walking, trying to hide any hint that things didn't go precisely as I had planned it.

I strode across the well-kept grass. The scent of flowers they kept filled my nose, banishing the fouler scents of the city proper. I was in a good place. There was a rather sizable tower to my left, but it looked out of use. The doors were shut and even layered with dust. What a shame. It looked like a fine building as buildings went. I wondered what it had been used for. I spotted that silver door and hurried towards it.

It was locked. A firm pull on the handle produced little more than a jiggle. Hm. I rapped on the metal surface with the back of a hand. "Hello?"

I waited impatiently. There was no sign of life, but the guards hadn't seemed insincere. I knocked a bit more firmly. "They said to come to the servant's entrance?"

Still, nothing. I tried waited a few minutes that felt like hours before balling a hand into a fist. I swung with my entire body to make a good slam, but the door opened just as my fist arrived. I tripped right over the pony wearing a maid's outfit that had opened the door and fell across the poor unicorn mare. She squealed in surprise and scrambled out from under me. "Who are you?" she demanded, fur bristled.

I got my feet back underneath me, dusting off my travel-dirtied clothes. Her eyes were on me, and maybe that dirt. Would she have to clean it? "I was sent here, to entertain Princess Celestia?"

Her expression brightened just a little, but she still looked wary. "What a curious thing you are. Hopefully, you're just the sort of thing that can bring a smile to her dear face. Come, come." She waved me forward with a hoof. "Let me close the door."

As soon as I was out of the way, her horn glowed and closed the door. "This way." She strode out ahead of me, her tail high and swaying with each step. It was done up in a bun, keeping it clean, neat, and out of the way. It also meant that I could see everything. She didn't seem to care much, so I put it out of my mind.

She navigated the hallways easily, guiding me past other ponies, mostly other workers like butlers and maids, some guards, and some aristocrats.

"I say," spoke one rich-looking mare that peered at me. "Whyever did they let you in the castle?"

The maid bowed low, dipping her entire front towards the noble. "He's here to entertain the princess, mistress."

"Ah, well, maybe it's crazy enough to work." She raised a brow at me before turning away, nose upturned as she trotted down the hallway.

Did I have my work cut out for me? "Say, what has the princess in a funk?" I hurried to walk alongside the maid. "Knowing might help me target, you know, my performance so I can get her smiling."

The maid smiled a little. "That's sweet of you to think, but isn't it obvious? The country's in a state of chaos. The banishing of her sister is... still fresh in her mind, however long ago it was for the rest of us." She put a hoof over her chest. "Goodness, I only hear about it from my granddame. She won't speak a word of it, but you... can see it haunts her." She circled around in front of me, getting right in the way. "If you can get her to smile, sir, please. She deserves so much more than she's getting right now. She's a good princess." She turned away from me and resumed the short hike to a room she thrust a hoof at. "You can stay here. There are other entertainers living here. Play nice. Dinner is served at sundown. If you get lost, just look for a guard. They're good ponies if you're polite." She opened the door with a glowing horn. "Good luck."

I petted her pointed little head. Ponies were soft, and warm, and very pettable. She tensed and frowned a moment before I arrived at an ear and began scratching gently around the base as I knew a dog liked. Turned out ponies had the same wiring there. She let out a little sigh and relaxed in place, her little tail swishing left and right.

"Hey, if you're seducing the waitstaff, at least invite her out of the hallway," came a sudden call of a mare from within the room. There sat a unicorn, grinning widely at our display.

The maid's cheeks went a dark red. "E-excuse me!" She fled away with the rapid clip-clop of a threatened horse.

The unicorn wore a flowing tunic and pointed hat. She had bright purple fur and green eyes. I couldn't see her cutie mark. "So, are you here to entertain the princess too? Come in." She beckoned me forward with a waving hoof. "May as well meet the competition, not that I think you have much chance. I'll see her first and I'll have her stony face split in half by the time I'm done with her."

I stepped in out of the hallway and closed the door behind me. "Nice to meet you, miss...?"

The unicorn pointed at herself. "Easy Breeze, and I'll breeze away her gloominess, easy as my name implies." She nodded softly. "No hard feelings, right? I respect a fellow entertainer, whatever you are." She lifted an ear at me. "Maybe I'll hire you after I get this job and you can give me those ear massages you were giving that maid. She was enjoying that."

"I am Ian," I greeted, looking around the room. There were three bunk beds. Three pairs of bunk beds? Three sets of bunk beds, however you would say it. There were a few torches that glowed but put off no smoke. Magic? It seemed likely.

Author's Note

And so we begin. This was another patron that decided to use their monthly one shot for an ongoing story, so this will update 1/month until it's done! I had expected to get Ian to Celestia this chapter, but that didn't happen. Damn my creativity and not letting me just skip to parts.

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8 - Order in the Court

A soft clopping knock at the door stirred me from sleep. "Yeah?"

"Sir," came the soft voice of the maid that had an interest in me. "Sir, you wanted to be ready for court, sir?"

I looked to the window where gloomy darkness met my eyes. "It's not even morning yet."

The door swung inwards a shy inch. "To be ready, sir, we should start now. May I enter?" Water Lily entered with a towel over her midsection on top of her usual maid's attire. "We have to get you washed and dressed. You have to make a good impression."

Easy sat up with a groan in her bed. "The sun isn't even out yet!" she complained bitterly.

Water smiled at me. "I am aware of that, but it takes time to properly prepare. Mister Langerman, will you allow me to continue?"

As much as an hour or two of sleep sounded nice, Water Lily was likely not wrong on the matter. I slid to my feet and stretched for the ceiling. "Alright, what do we need to do?"

Water brightened at my motions. "I won't let you down. Come with me." She turned back for the door.

"Hey, wait!" Easy hopped down and trotted towards us. "We're both going, aren't we?"

Water's left ear fell. "Are you? Oh, well, I would be happy to help you too, madame?" She didn't sound nearly as enthusiastic.

"Make me pretty like one of those hoity-toity court mares." Easy pulled herself up as tall as she went, horn held high. "We have impressions to make."

Water shook her head before she advanced on the door. "This way, sir, madame." She led us towards what was becoming a familiar bathing room. "We don't have time to draw separate baths. In you go." She pointed at the tub. "I'll launder Mister Langerman's clothing while you bathe."

And so we were cleansed. As it turned, Easy was willing to help clean my back if I returned the favor. I also discovered that hooves were not nearly as uncomfortable as washing tools as I imagined them to be, or Easy was capable of a gentle touch. Either way, we emerged cleaner than we had entered.

Easy was smirking as Water dressed me. "You're no minotaur."

Water tilted her head at Easy as her horn continued its work of dressing me. "You sound confident."

"I've seen things." Easy put a hoof to her chest. "You have too. It's kind of obvious once he takes his clothes off."

"Whatever he is, it's nice." Water nodded firmly. "What I wouldn't do to be so smooth and elegant." She sighed as she pulled things into place. "You're looking quite sharp, sir. The seamstress truly outdid herself."

I was dressed in bright greens and yellows, with hints of blue peeking through from clothing under the surface. "Your seamstress works quickly. Who's even paying her?"

Water waved off the concern. "We have no time for such worries, sir." She turned to Easy, measuring her with her eyes. "You aren't an unusual size. Please wait here." She trotted off, speaking something under her breath.

Easy frowned a little. "Did she just call me common?"

I reached and patted Easy Breeze on the head gently. "She's saying she can get you a pretty dress without too much trouble."

"Mmf, at least there's that." She crossed her arms as she settled on her haunches, looking quite pouty.

Water Lily returned with two dresses floating beside her, one to the left and the other on the right. "Which do you prefer?" she asked Easy, turning each in place for easy viewing. "The one on the left is made to be graceful movement. The one on the right is quite attractive, but is a bit extravagent--"

Easy pointed at the one on the left. "As if I'd bury myself in silks."

"I had a feeling you'd think so." Water carefully set aside the denied dress and brought over the other. "Stand still just a moment." She quickly had Easy Breeze dressed, pulling hooves through sleeves and sliding it into position with practiced ease. With one last pull, she had the unicorn's horn free and poking through a bit of a hood atop the dress. "You look quite fetching, madame."

"Yeah? Where's a mirror?" She turned in place before she spotted one and trotted up to look at it. "Woah! Who's that mare in the mirror?" Easy blew herself a kiss with a grin. "If it wasn't me, I might have to ask her out."

Was she...? I mean, it wasn't my place to tell a pony who they were attracted to, I just hadn't thought, in such a regressive time, such a thing would be so casually tossed out there. Of course, I realized, maybe she was just narcissistic, and liked herself. That would fit with what I had seen.

Water didn't seem to take much mind of it. "I'm glad you approve, Miss Breeze. Now, for a scent." Her magic glowed as a small series of little canisters floated into view. "I brought a selection for you to choose from."

And so we emerged from the bathroom, smelling pleasantly and wearing clothes worth seeing. I had a light pine scent. Easy Breeze had accepted a floral aroma. Water Lily looked quite pleased with herself. "Now you are ready. You should go to the courtroom--" She pointed the way down the hall. "--before it opens. Seating is first come first served for most. It won't do to be placed in the back, sir, madame, if you want to make a good impression."

"Thanks." Easy nodded at Water. "You're a top-rate maid."

Water seemed to accept that compliment with a reddened smile. "I do as I am bid, madame." She looked to me. "I trust you are also pleased?"

"I couldn't be more." I scratched her under her chin, an act she seemed to enjoy by the way she tilted her head up a bit and closed her eyes. When ponies trusted you, they could be just the most adorable things. "Alright, Easy, let's go make some friends."

As Water had promised, a line had already formed. We were about tenth in it and others were showing up regularly. The pony behind us was a familiar face. "Why, aren't the two of you looking sharp this morning," greeted Soft Word with a smile. "Already prepared to wade into the deep end, I see. Wise, taking her with you." He glanced towards Easy as he said the last part.

I wasn't going to be with Celestia while court was going on. "Why do you say that?"

Soft put a hoof at his chest. "If you make too good an impression, there are ponies without shame that will make a move. Having a lady at your side signals you aren't available for such graceless advances. It will spare you some awkward moments." He nodded to himself as he leaned to the side, getting a peek at the doors ahead. "You'll know it's about time when things get brighter. She raises the sun just before court."

Easy's face wrinkled. "I'm not with him."

"It matters little." Soft reached out a hoof but didn't touch Easy, just making a patting motion in the air. "What you present is more important much of the time than what you actually are. I'm certain many think you two are quite the item, and trying to tell them otherwise will only convince them all the more."

I reached to give Easy a reassuring pat, but she ducked away from it. "Stupid," she hissed. "That will just convince them more!"

The hallway suddenly brightened. Sunlight poured through the vast windows, making all the ponies, and everything else, easier to see. Soft nodded as he stood up. "They'll be opening the doors any moment now."

Barely before he had finished speaking, the doors did open, and ponies began to filter in. The guards that stood on either side of them nodded to each that came but did little more, at least until it was my turn.

Both of them looked up at me skeptically a moment. One glanced to the other, who pulled out a clipboard with a wing and flipped through the pages. "Ah, proceed." They both backed away a little.

Had Celestia left word to look for me? That was kind of her, and a lifesaver. I wasn't sure what I would have told either of them if it came down to that. "Good day," I offered as I passed them.

Easy hadn't been challenged. "Hmmph, sure, pick on the hairless stallion." She rolled her eyes as she descended down the bowl of the amphitheatre. "Let's get some good seats. I hear sometimes the show gets good."

The first row's seats had little cloths of different colors across them. "Reserved," I decided out loud, and directed Easy to the second row. There were some reserved seats there too, but there were also free ones, and we found two to settle on. I felt a presence on the other side and saw Soft Word had settled in beside me.

"Good to see you again. I admit, I can't help but be fascinated by you, sir. What brought you here today?" His eyes left me suddenly. "Save that for later. The magistrates are entering."

From behind the main area of the amphitheatre came a set of six ponies. Four mares, two stallions. They all had the look of importance about them. The mare at the lead looked older and had a monocle over one of her eyes. She moved with a sure pace towards one of the larger chairs there on the stage, but she did not settle into it. She stood before it as the others took up their own positions.

Celestia came in behind them, wings unfurled and head high. She dwarfed them easily and I wondered if that was why she was at the back. If she had come in first, the others would have been hidden by her mass. She moved in front of the largest of the seats, a proper throne. As one, all the important ponies settled down without any audible cue.

One of the stallions turned to the others. "Before we begin, there is a matter that needs addressing."

The elder mare frowned. "This is most unbecoming. Let us greet the day properly before jumping ahead."

Celestia extended a wing towards the stallion. "We will open the proceedings properly, then we will hear your concern first." This was apparently good enough, as the stallion went quiet. Celestia smiled to the gathered and still gathering crowd of court attendees. "It is, as always, a pleasure to see so many faces eager to make positive changes in--"

"--The greeting," hissed the elder mare.

"Yes, yes, of course. With every day, we have opportunity. Let us bow our heads in remembrance of those who sacrificed themselves for this gift." All the ponies, even the ones walking, dipped their heads and things went quite still indeed.

Soft suddenly nudged me with a hoof and pointed to the ground. Ah. I lowered my head to match the others.

Celestia brought her jeweled hooves together. "Let us begin. Sir Stride, I believe you had an issue in need of discussion?"

The stallion from before stood up in his chair. "Yes. If it pleases the court, I would see that greeting stripped." There were collective gasps and murmurs rippling through the room. "It has been no few years without any such 'sacrifice'." He gestured a hoof at Celestia. "She is invigorated by the task of the sunrise. There never will be another sacrifice in the name of it, so why do we keep that old ritual around?"

The elder mare sneered at him. "I knew you'd bring that up! So quick to forget the past. Just because we found another way means those that bled and died for us are worth nothing?!"

Another mare, a young-looking one with a kind smile, stood up. "The welcoming of the day takes but a moment, what harm is there in showing gratitude?"

I had expected matters of state, maybe land disputes, but we hadn't even gotten past the opening ceremonies before arguments began.

Author's Note

Ah, a new month, and with it, new chapters!

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21 - Across the Country

The gloom of the forest began to lift. With every passing minute, the sun could reach us just a little better. I'd like to say there was this moment of blinding light, but it was too gradual for that. In defiance of cartoon logic, we started to travel through less and less thick canopies until spots of light dotted the shade, then bits of shade interrupted the light.

At last, we emerged from out of the last tree, revealing rolling hilly countryside. We had survived the forest, and I could feel tension fleeing from all of us. Easy suddenly looked over her shoulder from the front. "Ta da! And we were worried."

Work nodded softly. "I admit I still am, madame. We have to go back eventually, but I am glad we've made it this far."

Water's magic gave my pants a little tug. "Are you alright, Sir?"

Though tempted to brush her off, I quickly realized it was a perfectly valid question. How were pony legs treating me? "I'm not falling over with every step. Thankfully, I don't think being graceless was part of the joke they were playing. They just wanted me to 'go native' a lot deeper than I already had."

Water's head tilted slightly. "Go native, Sir?"

Work coughed into a hoof. "It's a street term, miss Lily. What they call it when a pony finds a fancy while visiting another land, usually causing them to not return." He pulled the cart ahead despite the conversation, keeping the caravan moving. "When such a pony is met again, they typically dress as the others do, speak as they do, and otherwise do their best to fit into their new culture."

Easy twitched an ear back towards me. "You were doing that before Water came along. I think anyone with a grain of sense does that. No point being the odd one out. When in Canterlot, do as the Canterlots do." She nodded to herself, clearly satisfied with her logic.

I ran my fingers through Water's smooth mane as we hiked. It occured to me that she might like that because my fingers were 'decadently' furless. Good thing I hadn't lost them, for a multitude of reasons. I moved the hand away to pull out my phone and check out the map. We had emerged from the forest... there. Our target was there. That I knew, I had left a pin on the spot.

"We're going a lot faster across these hills instead of down a mountain side or through a forest. It shouldn't take long to get there." I pointed ahead. "Let's save a country."

I remained the most enthusiastic on that front, their cheers sounding more because they felt they needed to, for my sake. Still, they were with me, and I decided to be grateful for that.

We hiked across the Equestrian countryside and the thing that hit me the most was the simple lack of ponies. These were lands that were simply not being used. The only sign of activity was a town we could see in the distance on the second day. The houses were close together as if huddled for protection, and that was it. Equestria was more empty than not.

It took four days in total from emerging from the forest, but bandits didn't visit us, nor did new monsters ambush us, so I won't bore you with the little details. Whatever Water had said, she seemed to be alright with my, er, changes, so long as snuggling occurred afterwards, and I'll leave that at that.

One thing, and this may sound like a distraction, but I realized one huge difference between a pony and a person. Ponies have nothing going on where a human has a butt. I thought that wouldn't matter much, but I was wrong. A quick check of the files reported a good portion of why walking felt so odd, since I was walking using all leg muscles instead of the assist that my rump once provided. It also made sitting less cushy, which is a thing I never thought of until I didn't have it.

What I didn't expect was our actions to inspire the others. Though they had done their best to be discrete, it wasn't hard to notice things changing between Work and Easy. She barbed him a lot less often and mellowed out a little in general. Turns out they both needed a little companionship.

As the sun slowly moved overhead, our target came into view. It was a town, larger than that tiny farming village we had seen on the second day. We could see signs of life, ponies moving about and getting things done, though we couldn't make out much of the details from the distance. Still, it was encouraging.

What we could see could also see us. I dare say we were easier to see, being a few walking people coming down the hill towards them with a wagon attached, rather than any single pony in the middle of the town. Our presence was noticed quickly and a small group of ponies approached, long spears attached to their sides and little frowns on their faces, ruining some of their innate pony cuteness.

"Don't mention the princess, or any else from the castle," I hurriedly reminded as I stepped towards the front of our group. "We're here on our own, not for anyone."

We drew to a stop to let them approach without showing signs of aggression. They spread out, spears pointed at us from different directions as they created a semi-circle. One at the front, an earth pony mare with bright green eyes, pointed a hoof at us. "Don't recognize any of you." She pointed at me in specific. "Don't recognize even what you are, minotaur?"

I held up my hands, palms showing, nothing in or on them. "We're just travellers, curious about the stories spreading--"

She took a big step forward. "What stories?"

Easy waved a hoof grandly. "There's supposed to be a mare that has some answers." She scrunched her face. "You know, the kind those jerks aren't giving. Is this how you greet all your newcomers?"

The spears lowered a little. Easy had, apparently, given a satisfying answer. The leader of them nodded. "There might be such a mare, or there might not. If the false princess and her cronies had their way, there wouldn't be a mare at all." She turned back to the town. "You still haven't said what you are."

Work stepped forward, pulling the wagon with him. "He's a little sensitive, ma'am. Poison joke."

"That old mare's tale?" She looked over her shoulder at me. "Well, hard to argue with the results... Sorry for your loss."

I hadn't even considered that, but being someone who was poison joked was a lot easier to explain than casually noting I was some strange alien creature that came in peace, so please take me to your leader. That was when I realized I was living up that cliche and snorted back, trying to hold in the laugh. Fortunately, people were starting to move for the town.

"As you can see, we're doing the best we can. At least no one is going hungry here, she won't tolerate it." The leader spoke without looking at us, leading the way at a steady trot. "Did you bring any supplies in that wagon of yours?"

I waved at it, not that she could see it. "Just enough for traveling here and maybe back."

She glanced over her shoulder. "Back? Not sure if you'll like what you find?" She raised a hoof. "Take it."

That was all she had to say. Ponies moved in, pointing spears at Work until he unhitched himself and stepped away from them, allowing one of them to take up the control of the wagon, which was their wagon now, apparently. Lovely...

"That's not... very polite," I noted, even as it sounded lame in my own ears.

"Are you considering using that sword of yours? Don't." The leader didn't slow in her march. "You don't look that skilled at it, and you're not even in your normal form, poor thing. You wanted to see what we had to offer, you'll find it. This is a one way street and you're already past the point of no return."

We entered the town proper. The noise of ponies bustling about became louder. I could hear metal being pounded, ponies shouting, wood being shoved around, and other things. The smells were a melange of industrial whiffs and lighter hints that life did progress. That fresh bread was suddenly very tempting compared to the trail rations we had survived on this far. Where was that bakery?

The leader turned to face us, stopping. "Welcome to your new home. If you can work or if you can fight, you'll find it a hospitable one." She pointed at Work. "You look ready to earn your keep, am I wrong?"

Work dipped his front slightly. "I am ready, ma'am, but I must insist on not being sep--"

She waved his words away, looking to Easy next. "You look like trouble. What do you do?"

Easy reared up on two legs, throwing her forehooves in a Y formation as sparkles an flames erupted from her hooves. "I am an entertainer, and a manager." She fell back to all fours. "His manager." She directed towards me with a toss of her head.

The leader stepped up and cuffed Easy across the top of the head with a hoof. "No uncontrolled fire in the town limits. That is your final warning. Hmmf, and you?" She turned to me. "What do you do that's important enough to have a manager?"

Water put a hoof out in front of me suddenly. "Apologies, miss. I am his maid, charged with his care."

"I didn't ask you!" hissed the leader, displeased at Water jumping in line. "How's a maid supposed to help a pony with... this." She waved her hoof at me at large.

I had that answer. "She's also a botanist."

The leader looked back and forth between us. "You two are really good at not following my directions." She pointed at my sword. "Can you not hurt yourself with it? If someone else answers instead of you, I'm throwing them in a box."

I reached for it, and the spears rose at me. Alright, poor idea. I slowly withdrew my hand. "I got it in case of monsters or bandits. I never had any practice before this trip."

"Figured as much." She flipped her mane from her face as she turned away. "For now, you'll stay here." She pointed to a house on stilts. "We keep it ready, for just such emergencies. I'd like to say you're welcome to look around--" She turned back to us. "--but I don't trust any of you."

She pointed at a passing pony who stopped in his path. "Get them some food and water." She gestured up at the stilted house. "You two." She indicated two of her soldiers. "Make sure they don't wander off."

That seemed like a time to at least try to get some answers. "You run a tight ship." I watched all three rush to do as she asked. "What's your name, Miss...?"

She hiked a brow at me. "Strangers first."

"Ian Langerman," I offered, hoping my name hadn't really spread far outside the castle.

"Curious name." She frowned a little. "Sunset Whisper." She cracked a faint smile. "The rest of you are free to join in." Work, Easy, and Water were quick to offer up their names. "There, see, we don't have to be hostile about it." She led the way to the narrow stairs that led up to the stilted house's single door. "I'll inform her that you want to meet her. Warning, since I see a lot of you like your clothes, but there won't be any of that when you meet her. Don't call us paranoid, we've had a few attempts made already."

Something to look forward to.

Author's Note

And thus the plot does move forward. How will this go? Will we get answers? Will peace be brokered? Will we ever get back our wagon?!

33 - Into Depths

"Or, we could not do that." Easy hiked a brow. "I'm not quite up to making light, which we'd need, and keeping us both breathing, and swimming against a current all at the same time."

I had been ready to jump into the water, but that was off. "Do you have an alternative to figure it out?"

"Not exactly, but I'm saying let's limit this a little." She sat and brought her hooves close together. "Let's just see if there IS a river we can't see. If we find one, great, we know it's there, but we don't go into it because I want to live, Boss."

Well, the logic was sound enough... "Alright, let's do that, then we can make some of that pure water, since I don't imagine that will take long."

"I love how doing the most expensive part is just 'something we do because we have some extra time'." She rolled her eyes as she approached the shore. "You live in a different world, Boss. Sometimes I wonder."

She had a point, I had to agree. Did pony legs work like human ones for swimming? I was about to find out. "Let's go for a little dip." And not drink too much, I decided quietly. I stepped into the water, expecting ground beneath the dark surface. I was suddenly cold, but not wet.

As it turns out, you can't really be 'wet' if you're entirely in the water. One of the curiosities of the universe. With a gasp, I broke the surface, kicking with hooves and paddling with hands to keep myself buoyant. "Alright..." My hooves felt different than feet for moving water, but they were moving water, and I was floating, so that was good.

"That was an interesting way to get in." Easy slipped in without the sudden dunk, paddling towards me. "Now for some air." Bubbles appeared around both of our heads. "And I'll be the light." Her horn glowed all the brighter. "Which is why we're not doing the thing you wanted."

"I already agreed." I splashed some water at her in petty vengeance. "Let's go see what there is to see."

She stuck out her tongue, clearly more amused than irate. We both sunk beneath the surface. The air bubbles around our heads served as goggles, allowing us to see what was around us fairly well, though we were just looking for either walls or an incoming river. One or the other, all we needed to find.

Working against the current wasn't as hard as I feared. The pond we were in wasn't moving that quickly, with the speed only picking up where the water got constrained in the rivers. That did mean it was likely going faster closer to where it was coming from.

The ground was easy enough to spot, and the walls came into view, keeping the water safely contained. "Follow the walls."

"Ok," she replied, but her voice was distorted by the water in a way I had to assume mine had also been. It was like she was further away, shouting through a tunnel at me.

I swam up to the wall and felt along it, pulling myself with clever human fingers instead of swimming to quickly scoot along the wall. The current was getting stronger the further I went. My hooves started to be pushed away from the wall.

"I'm going up," came her shout. "I'll keep your air going." She swam up and away, leaving me there.

Was doing all that really that hard? I couldn't speak from experience, and keeping clung to the wall was becoming a challenge, so I focused on that, clinging and walking with my hands towards where the pressure grew only stronger and stronger.

Darkness. It wasn't a wall. There was a hole, and water was pouring out of it, into the water of the stream. It was also colder, which made sense enough to me if it came from higher in the mountain. There was a source, and it wasn't here. I let go of the wall and my fingers sang with the pleasure of not having to hold the rest of me. I was pushed out some distance before I began to swim upwards.

I broke the surface, which felt odd. You don't normally have a bubble around your head when you do it. "Easy?" I looked around for her, ah, there she was.

Arguing with ponies on the shore.

That was less than good. I got to swimming to the closest shore there was.

"You can stay right there." Another pony emerged at the point I had been swimming to. "We have questions, and you will answer."

Ah, delightful... "Is there a reason I can't answer them on land?"

"Call it a security thing." The stallion rolled a hoof. "You aren't drowning, whatever you are."

His horn glowed, lifting my phone and a few other bits and bobs in my pocket into view. "What, exactly, are these?"

"My things." That wasn't a lie. "Can you put them back where you found them?"

"What are you?" The pony leaned forward a little before righting himself. "Strange new thing just breezes into town, taking our mares, our heroes, and shoving their nose into our business." He waved a hoof over the pond. "Now he's even in our water like it's nothing."

"I'm just trying to help." I wanted to raise a hand, but staying afloat with strange legs meant keeping my hands a little occupied. "Did I do something to you?"

"We don't need your help." His magic casually threw my things aside. My phone bounced off the ground, landing close to the water, but not in it. A yelp pulled my attention to where they had shoved Easy over. "Now, look, you're going to come up now, nice and slow, and we're going to educate you a little. I'd say it wasn't personal, but..."

"You probably shouldn't have done that." The bubble around my head vanished, as I guessed it would. She needed her magic for other things.

"I haven't started yet. Come on." He backed away a step, gesturing to the ground.

I'll admit, I expected the next thing to happen was Easy losing her cool. Ponies continued to surprise me. With a dull thump, a new one crashed into the pony I was talking to, sending him crashing into the water with a great splash. Work Pants stood there, heaving. "Sir, please, move quickly!"

A frustrated female cry told me my prediction had only been slightly off. Flames and sparks began to explode from her direction as I swam past the dazed stallion as quickly as I could. My world went lopsided. The pony in the water with me managed to lash out with a hoof, connecting with my skull in a distinctly painful way.

Feeling me, he started to pull me closer. "Y'ain't going nowhere!"

The pony was stronger than me, I was already certain. My advantages: fingers, grip strength, and the ability to wiki things. The last one would not be helpful in that situation, I quickly decided. Instead of trying to swim away from his grip, which I doubted I could manage, I lunged for him.

I'm sure he expected a kick or a punch. He did not expect my hands at his throat, or the pressure when I began to squeeze with everything I had. He made a muffled startled noise and thrashed at me, but I was too close to make that easy. I was clinging to him as we sank beneath the waves, neither of us swimming.

Now, in the movies, choking is simple. You grab on, the person's out like a light in no time at all, possibly dead in a few seconds. That is not quite how it worked. Maybe if I knew how to stop the flow of blood to his brain? There was a specific artery for that, right? I didn't know it, especially not in that moment. I was busy squeezing and holding as hard as could, getting buffeted as a reward as he desperately tried to fight me off.

His movements suddenly slowed. Was I doing it right? He was still trying to hit me, but it wasn't working very well. Soon I was holding an unconscious pony. I did it! I had actually choke-held someone, from the front. That was... extra hard, I think. Maybe pony arteries were in different places, or I was just that desperate.

Teeth closed around my shoulder. It hurt a bit, but it was effective as drawing me free of the water suddenly. Work tossed me to the side, then quickly fished out the other pony and tossed him in the other direction. "Hard Line, stop this! Stop it right now! This isn't us."

Hard, the pony I just choked, coughed to life, recovering rapidly. "What? Work? I told you to stay out of this!"

Work pointed down the shore, where Easy was huffing for breath, her assailants fleeing in a panic. "You're only getting the team singed, and yourself possibly killed. He's trying to hire us, not hurt us. We should be thankful."

"Yeah no." He scrambled to his hooves, taking short gasps of air. "He ain't one of us. We don't take charity."

I stood up about as quickly as he had, wobbling a moment. "Look, this is good work, that will help a lot of ponies."

"You aren't a pony." He squinted at me with obvious displeasure. "Mostly?" One brow raised.

Oh, right. I had no boxers anymore after all that. "I need tunnels laid down through the city. I need it done quickly, well, and to last. Can you do that?"

Work gestured to him. "He can, if he'd listen to reason."

"You're spouting nonsense. You were blacklisted, Work. Blacklisted ponies don't just get a sudden hire from the guild like nothing happened. You're full of lies and so is that thing, whatever it is." He thrust an accusing hoof at me, his stance recovered from his traumatic experience.

I threw a hand wide. "We had dinner with Miss Mason. A charming mare, mostly. She's eager to get this project underway, and was ready to throw one of her other teams at me. I'm the one that insisted Work get the job, Work and his team. Are you on his team or not?"

"Maybe not after this display," grunted Work before sighing softly. "Hard..."

Hard stomped a hoof down. "Don't you go looking at me like a disappointed father, I have enough of those, thanks. Look, he's lying to you, getting your hopes up." He started to move around Work, but not towards me. "Whatever, you'll see. If you have the bits in hoof, come talk. Otherwise, stay gone."

"Are you alright?" Work came towards me with a concerned look. "I'm so sorry, Sir."

"It wasn't your fault, but I'm going to start moving towards my clothes." Going commando sounded better than being entirely naked.

Cold and wet slapped across my face. Pulling it free revealed my boxers. Easy was smirking at me from behind them. "You dropped those? Good thing they floated up. Work, nice to see you. Thanks for the assist. I would have gotten here eventually."

Work dipped his head towards Easy. "Miss, good to see you as well. I'm certain you would have been far more rough with him, but I don't want my team being... more hurt than they already are. Sir, please tell me this project start soon. Nothing short of its actual start will convince them that there is hope to be had."

I was soon clad in wet boxers, a mild improvement. I decided the phone was the next priority, still free of the water, thankfully. "We've run into possibilities that may make this easier, potentially. We need to find the actual source of this water."

"If I can help?" Work inclined an ear. "The sooner we can begin, the better."

Easy threw an arm over Work suddenly. "Hey, if you're looking to get hired, you have to go through the manager."

Author's Note

As it turns out, he did NOT go kill himself in underwater caves. Go him! There are other problems to be faced, like how to locate that source.

46 - The Lightning Bringer

Well, I was in a spot.

"Sir?" Tight Fit was watching me with a concerned look on his fuzzy face. "Sir?"

"Sorry." I sat up, one arm resting on the table next to us. "Celestia gave me a project and it has my head spinning."

Tight squinted at that. "A project that confounds even you? I admit I have a hard time imaginin' it. You seem to know everything. What did she ask for?"

I gave the electric motor that had started it a little twirl, watching its blade spin around. "She wants the power of electricity brought to this castle, and I'm not sure I'm up for that."

"You are the one teaching me of this magic." He raised his hooves just to gently press them together. "Who else would be better qualified? Why, you made that. You know how it works. What stands in the way?"

I flicked the blade with my finger, keeping it spinning. "This is the easy part. Taking electricity and turning it into basic movement. Going the other way, especially reliably, especially distributed, especially over the long term, now there's a trickier part."

He crossed his arms, hooves dangling. "Well, what is it you want to do?"

"You understand how this works?" I gestured at the motor. "We need to do it backwards. We need to make the motion of magnets cause electricity to flow, but we need to do it at an even level, so the electricity is always flowing at the same strength. At about the same speed and depth, to describe it like a river."

His eyes narrowed at the magnet. I could almost seem him tossing the problem around. "When you spin the motor like that..." He reached and batted the blade with the end of his hoof as I had with my finger. "Does that make electricity?"

"Yes, but--"

"Not a lot," he cut in. "What goes in, comes out."

Why were ponies so quick on these things? "Basically, yes. If you attached this motor to another motor and turned this one around and around, the other would move slower than this one."

"Something is lost during the exchanges," mumbled Tight, looking so thoughtful. "It's like water."

"Like... water?" Water was his thing, but... "How is this like water?"

"Water flows down." He pointed down. "But you can use water to push water back up." He pivoted his hoof. "But never as far as it came down." It turned around again. "Something is lost. Something is always lost. Same thing."

That middle-aged father of a pony! He deserved a medal. "Yes! Yes, exactly that. Write that down. You deserve credit for being the first pony to really put that thought together." Conservation of energy, as proposed through liquid dynamics. Why the heck not?!

"Credit?" He inclined his head softly. "Who would be giving me credit? I mean, besides you, Sir Langerman. I do appreciate your kind words."

"Right..." I took a slow breath as I stood up on my hooves. "That needs fixing more than Celestia needs her lights."

"Pardon?" His left ear went up. "Nothing I need... quite gets in front of Princess Celestia's direct orders, barring the council standing against her. I do appreciate your sentiment, but I don't want you gettin' into any trouble fer me."

"This is still what she wants, but she doesn't realize it yet." I pointed right at the center of his head, through his horn. "The light she wants is in there."

His eyes crossed at my finger as he blinked rapidly. "I can glow if ya want, sir. I don't think--"

"Not literally," I cut him off, waving a hand. "You have ideas. Good ideas. I think a lot of ponies could have good ideas, but there's no infrastructure for these ideas to come together at all. A pony has good ideas, dies, and the good ideas go with them until some other pony has a similar idea, and we repeat."

"You've brought that up before." He began walking towards the door. "Don't rightly understand it, not really. Ah get yer goin' fer somethin'. Maybe somethin' big... It just ain't... sittin' right."

I took one step after him. "Hold on a moment, Tight. Imagine, please, it's long in the future. You're dead. I'm dead, we're all gone."

"Not a happy start," he grumped, turning back towards me. "What then?"

"A classroom, a group of foals crowded around a teacher who's telling them about a little fact. Energy can't be destroyed or created, only changed, and always at a loss. She tells them a bright pony called Tight Fit came up with the idea, and published it so other ponies could know it, and refine the idea."

He sank to his haunches, one of his forehooves dancing as if he were counting something. "I wouldn't know none of these foals, right?"

"Not a one." I lifted my shoulders. "But they'd know you."

"They'd know... me..." He licked over his lips, turning and raising in one motion. "I need to think about this. I ain't sayin' no, Sir. Just give a stallion a moment to figure through this." I didn't stop him as he left. Pressing just then felt like a good way to make him more mad than receptive, so the door closed behind him.

Not that I didn't have other things to do.

I walked down a corridor of stone and earth, glowing crystals embedded in the walls casting back the worst of the darkness and allowing us to see where we, Easy and I, were going. Ahead of us strode a large diamond dog, their leader. "We dig good," he explained as they walked. A sheet came up, held over his shoulder. "Look."

I took the sheet. It was the plan Tight had made of the major pipes of the city. Some were blue, some were red. "What are the colors for?"

"Blue mean dug. Red mean dig. Dig Red. Blue dug. Good dig." He nodded firmly, arms crossed over his chest. "Happy?"

Easy suddenly popped up between me and the paper, her head shoving up against my belly so she could peer at it. "Hey, most of this is blue! That means it's dug already, right?"

"Yes," agreed the dog, reaching back without looking to grab the paper. "Almost done. Time small dig. We do job."

"You've done a great job." I didn't resist losing the paper. He had more need of it than I did by far. "Let's have a tour."

"Yes, we look." And he accelerated, eager to show us all their work. As we went, I could see they had put in obvious care into their digging. Each tunnel ran smoothly into the next, with clear trenches for the water to flow, but also raised platforms for future ponies to come through if upkeep was required, which it would be.

There wasn't any such thing as a sewer that was entirely self-reliant forever. There wasn't any such thing at all, sewer or not, on second thought. If you want something to keep working, you have to work too. Ah, the blessed law of entropy. Still, that appeared to be a really good start. Light suddenly spilled down on me as I walked and I stopped.

Craning my head back I could see the tunnel lead up towards light in the distance. "Where does this go?"

The dog turned and stalked back. "Road. Dig for air. No air, no work. Dead dogs. You want dead dogs?"

"No! Of course not... But..."

"But?" He leaned in, his acrid breath washing over me.

"Could you..." I worked my fingers as if walking up one another hand to hand. "Put in some ladders? Some big heavy metal rungs, so ponies could climb down these holes later?"

The dog shoved me right out of the way and looked up the hole that reached for the sky so distant above. "Huh... You give metal, we use metal." And off he stalked, apparently satisfied with that answer.

Easy dashed into the available spot and peeked up as well. "Say, that is clever, Boss. Then ponies can come down here if we ever need to, in case something gets clogged or whatever."

"It's not a new idea, for me. I won't take clever points there." I felt, in fact, a bit stupid not considering it ahead of time. But it was something we could fix. "Easy, do you feel confident ordering the rungs for them to install for a pony to climb up and down?"

"Yeah sure." She bobbed her head softly. "Should I use the blacksmith you went to last time? She knows you."

And she knew I'd pay. "Yes, good idea. I'm sure she'll like the business too."

"I would, if I was a smith." Easy shrugged softly. "But I'm a manager. You are my business, not the rungs I order. Want me to get right on that or keep with you for this inspection?"

"I think we're almost done." I hurried to catch up with the foredog. "I'm really liking what I'm seeing. You all did fantastic work." Part of me wondered again if I should try harder to turn diamond dogs to a productive force. Surely they could be such a great tool for civilization in general, enriching both pony society and themselves instead of the sad place they'd end up if I remained quiet.

But that wasn't my place, right? "I'll be sure to include your cooperation in the report."

"Good. We get land after this. Yes?"

Easy suddenly saluted. "That was the promise. We ponies keep our promises! Usually." She inclined her head. "They'd better or I'll get really mad."

"I will stand at your side until you get your land." Even if I wasn't able to redirect their course, I could at least get them what we promised. They had to go there anyway. "I'm not seeing a single thing out of place. How long do you think it'll be to finish?"

He looked over his shoulders, still moving forward without pause. "Longer. Need make stairs. Day, seven day. Two." He held up seven fingers, closed them, then two fingers, then nodded firmly as if that was clear english. "Hey!" A bunch of dogs poked their heads out from around corners and in holes. "They say good job!"

A rough cheer erupted through them, and more shouts echoed the news away, causing more cheers from further away. All the dogs would soon have that news.

He waved back at me. "Work. Get metal." And he moved to leave me behind. I had seen all that I really needed to see, so I let him go and instead turned to Easy.

Her horn glowed softly. "Want a lift to the surface?"

"You've really grown fond of teleporting." Was she somewhere in Twilight's past? Starlight? Sunset? Maybe she was just a random talented spellcaster. Equestria certainly had more than its share of those and they didn't all have to have genetic ties to future talented spellcasters. "Go on."

She squeaked with joy and leaned against me before we both promptly ceased to exist. We were standing on a street in Canterlot, not at the castle. One thing that jumped out at me was how... cleaner it was than when I had first arrived. "And I haven't gotten the water flowing yet." The air was much cleaner. The city was transformed.

Easy waved it off. "The war's over, so guards are back to actually managing a city instead of trying to keep failing at finishing that war." She began to trot in a weaving path towards the castle only to pause. "Right. I'll go order those rungs. You heading to the castle?"

I made a note to check how, say, London handled its policing force over the years. "I'll head back and talk to your father some more. It'll be time for him to get his hooves dirty. Without his step, we won't get water anywhere but major fountains."

While that'd be nice, it would be a pale shadow compared to what I had set out to do.

Author's Note

Phew, late in the day update here, had so many things to do today! Ian knows what it's like to be busy, and I bet a lot of you do too.

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

51 - Pony Solutions

"Langerman!" A loud clopping came from the door. "Please be in there, Sir." Tight Fit's muffled voice was coming from the other side.

"I'm right here." I pulled open the door. "I was just--"

He bowled in past me, a huge grin on his face. "It happened!"

"What, exactly, happened?" I fussed at my formal attire.

"A pony heard of my generator, the whole story, even the part where it broke." He raised his forehooves, gesturing wildly. "And they found me. They'd been working on things of their own, ya see, and... Sir?" He inclined his head at me. "Why are you dressed so fancily?"

"I was about to head to the council to--"

"--oh! Here I am, gettin' in the way. I'll come back later." He turned to go.

But my hand went in the way. "So another pony approached you?"

He hesitated a moment before nodding. "She had been working on somethin' of her own that she wasn't making no progress with, but she was tryin', so hard. When she heard what I had, she about lost it and had to come see me. What she had wasn't the same size as mine, but that weren't no real problem. She had a bulb with no steady electricity. I had electricity with no bulb! We were each other's solution."

Easy poked her head in from outside. "And suddenly I had a new stepmom. Thanks, Boss. I'm blaming you for this."

I had to blink. "Seriously?"

Oh, how he started to blush. "We, uh, got to talking... I showed her all the things I was working on, and she... mighta fell in love. She showed me what she had done and I was might impressed! She didn't have no library to work with neither. She did it herself... I was... Well... Here we are. I'll introduce you to her later. Um, that's aside the point. We got light!"

"Congratulations." I patted his shoulder as I edged around towards the door. "I look forward to meeting her. For now, I should get to the council."

"Without me?" snorted out Easy. "Nothin' doing." With a glowing horn, she was suddenly dudded up for the situation. "Let's go."

Schedule already slipping, I didn't argue with her, focusing on getting past her into the hallway and starting a firm stride towards the council room. "I won't be speaking," I noted as I went. "This is about the diamond dogs."

Easy perked an ear as she easily kept up at a trot. "What about them? Were they not paid?"

"The ones that wanted the land have already moved to it." I flatly waved a hand at that. "But some want to stay and do good work for good pay."

"Huh," was all she said.

Soon we had found seats. There was my canine friend, former employee. "Glad you come." He thumped my shoulder. Did I mention they're strong critters? "Ready. They hire, get all dogs job." He pulled at his shirt, fussing with it. "Look good?"

Easy inclined her head. "Lookin' sharp! You clean up good."

I agreed with that. "The suit's working. The rest is up to you. We should stop talking until it's your turn to go up though. Being rude outside that time, or during that time, hurts your chances."

"Make boss happy, get job," he grunted as if it were obvious logic. "Got it." And so the conversation faded.

Celestia and the council came and sat. They said their starting words and it was off to the races. Petty squabbles, genuine concerns, and other matters came and went one by one.

"The fountain has created more traffic in front of my store," complained one mare.

Celestia inclined her head. "That sounds like fortunate news."

"Then you didn't hear correctly." She clopped down a hoof. "They make a racket all day long! Always coming, always going. Who wants to get a mane styling with all that noise? I may as well be working in the middle of the road with all the fuss."

I hadn't expected secondary effects of my work to come up. My mind was buzzing with ideas. Did they have sound dampening magic? That was certainly a thing that should exist.

A hoof raised in the crowd and one of the council ponies pointed to them. Another mare rose to her hooves. "I will gladly exchange locations. Mine has a gorgeous view, but not enough traffic. I'd much rather have your spot."

And it was solved, without magic, or technology. The two mares went off to discuss what locations they were speaking of more specifically, and the council went on to the next case. "Next on the docket, Max Goodboy. Please rise."

Max hopped up to his feet and folded an arm in front of himself, bowing properly. "Good morning." Clearing his throat, perhaps to mask his nervousness? He continued. "We finished the sewers." His speech was slower, purposeful, and a bit more precise. He was trying really hard to impress, I figured. "But the sewers never done."

Celestia frowned at that. "If you finished them, how are they not done?"

"Always need work." He raised a finger. "Ponies make dirt, put in the water and it builds slowly." He made a flowing motion with his right hand, going right to left. "Needs to be cleaned. Always cleaned. We can do the cleaning. Hire us. We know the tunnels."

Murmurs spread across the courtroom, eyes locking on the huge and very un-pony shape of the one petitioning the court. A stallion suddenly stood up. "That sounds like work ponies could be doing!" he blurted, not called upon to speak. Others echoed the thought, heads starting to bob.

"Ha," barked out Max, a noise dogs were particularly good at making. "Pony can climb, but dogs climb better. We know the tunnels. We built them. We will do it better and faster." He hiked a thumb at his chest. "We here and ready. Where pony team?"

One of the council members rose to his hooves. "Is there an alternate team competing for this bid?" There was much murmuring, but none stood to claim that. "You may proceed, Sir Goodboy."

Max grinned. I think he liked being addressed that way. He quoted his price. A considerable sum, but-- "That for whole sewer. Not per dog."

Celestia smiled faintly. "Not always dog, I assume? If a pony shows themselves useful to you, you would hire them and share that money with them, yes?"

Max seemed caught off guard by that, considering it. "Huh... yes, if a pony wants to join team, brings use, yes. Pay is for all sewers, shared with all workers.

Celestia raised a hoof. "I motion a tentative agreement, pending a review by the financier. I trust the sewers are not in immediate peril?"

Max shook his head. "We build good tunnels. We can wait a little, not long." He held up one finger. "Have answer in one week?"

Murmurs spread. The dog was giving terms to Celestia?!

But she wasn't ruffled. "That is reasonable. We just got them, it would be quite the shame to let them go to disrepair so swiftly. One week it is. If the financier has not produced a final report, I motion we go with the numbers provided until that report is complete, backdated to today. If the council agrees, Max Goodboy and his team are hired."

"Agreement."

"Agreement."

"Agreement."

"Neigh."

"We have consensus." Celestia tipped her head forward. "You are hired. We look forward to your work."

Max thrust a clenched handpaw into the air. "Yes!" He was being stared at from all sides. "Um, yes. We thank you for time." And down he plopped into his chair, tail wagging wildly behind him.

The next case started. I reached over and patted Max on the arm. "You did good," I whispered. "Congratulations!"

I had planned to talk with him after the session, but, much as I had been that first time I showed up, there were many ponies that wanted a piece of the new player on the field. He was crowded by them, all introducing themselves and asking questions.

The more surprising part was that he didn't seem that bothered by it. He was making friends. I decided to let him go right on as he was. It was better, I thought, that he become a known figure rather than a reclusive manager in the sewers.

Thump. What was it with ponies and thinking their hooves were not hard and heavy? A pony had thrust a hoof against my belly as I was making good my escape. "Quarter?"

"That's my name, Sir." He inclined an ear at me. "What's this about getting the dogs a job before even thinking about your loyal pipe team?!"

"I thought a guild of pipe workers was being made?" Even as I answered, Easy was moving between us, preventing future thumps. "What happened to that?"

"That doesn't happen overnight, Langerman." Quarter shook his head, tail lashing. "We were gonna get a job working on the city's pipes and you just gave that away."

"The sewers are not the pipes," I flatly denied. "The dogs will be keeping the sewers going clean, but they don't know about the smaller pipes that go into homes and businesses. You two need each other, not as competition."

Easy raised her shoulders. "Even I can see that. The dogs are gonna watch the big tunnels at the bottom, keeping them going. You--" She pointed at Quarter. "--want to work on the smaller pipes, like the ones my dad put in. You two are partners."

"Your fath--oh, yes! Tight Fit. Um... tell him I say hi." He put a hoof behind his head with a little awkward laugh. "I hear he isn't working pipes anymore?"

Easy frowned at that. "Whoever said that was a liar. He's just working with different pipes. Zappy pipes!" She threw her hooves wide with a grin. "Instead of drinky pipes. You should see them. Some of them are so small you can't even see the hole in them."

That confused Quarter instantly. "Then how does the water get through?"

Easy thumped him. Fortunately, ponies seemed able to receive the thumps they delivered. "That's because the water that goes through those pipes are zaps, not drinks. Still pipes. He has to fuss over their flow for days to get it just right. I've seen it! You should see it, really."

"That... sounds a might peculiar, Miss, but I'll take your word for it." His eyes went back to me. "You have a point, Sir... I'll go talk." He fled, perhaps embarrassed to make a scene.

I took a little breath. "Well, that's that, for now."

"Next step." Easy turned towards me. "I believe Celestia wants a letter from you? I never saw you write it."

Well, dang it. "I better get on that." I moved pointedly back for my room.

Easy was trotting alongside me, looking smugly satisfied. "Aren't you glad you have a manager to keep these things in line? Where would you be without me?"

It hit me. "I'm not firing you."

"But you have no project." She wobbled a hoof. "You going to pay me out of your money?"

"If I have to." I reached for her and stopped. I was about to pat her head. Why were ponies so pettable? "I want you to stay, if you're up for it."

She thumped the entire side of her body against me. "As if you even had to ask. I never thought I'd become a manager, but I'm used to it now, and I don't want to stop. So I'm focusing on managing you instead of the whole big sewer project thing."

"I'm just as bad as any sewer," I joked with a little smirk. "Besides, we'll find another project worth throwing our talent at. I think I know of one that's very worth the time."

"Gonna share?" She swiveled an ear at me. "I'm good at secrets."

"I'll show you the letter before I send it to Celestia."

But first, I had to write it.

Author's Note

What is Ian's next big project?

Written early for patreons who got this ahead of everyone else. Want to get early chapters, or even your own story written? atreon!

Join my discord to chat!