Shivered Timbers' Sexty Minute Ponies

by ShiveredTimbers

Chapters

In Thirds (Romance)
Hat and Cape (Comedy)
No Means No (Random)
Milk (Comedy)
Cold Beans (Sad)
Purple on Purple (Romance/Random)
Perks (Random)
Cloudsdalium, part 2
What's Inside (Random)
Princesses and Country (2nd Person, Romance)
Celebrating You (Sad)
Lookin' Forward to the Weekend (Random/Comedy)
Doubly Mared 1 (Romance)
In Silence (Human)
A Pile of Mush (Romance/AU)
Oh, Come On! (Comedy)
Kinda Magical (Comedy)
The Ultimate Punishment (Random)
Reflexes (Romance/Tragedy/Slice of Life)
Cloudsdalium (Comedy)

In Thirds (Romance)

In Thirds
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: A Cutie Mark Crusader, now grown, returns to Ponyville.)

"Spiffin', that's what I calls 'er."

"Good Celestia, she's gorgeous."

"Really filled out since last we saw 'er. Should we go say hi?"

"Us?" She gives me a pointed look. "A big star like her? There's no way she'd remember us."

Din's got a point. I remember the headline well: "Ponyville's Teenaged Operatic Sensation!" She's been touring Manehattan and Canterlot and probably points beyond by now. Who'd ever want to remember dull old Ponyville when you've got that going for you?

Yet, here she is, back home and looking slightly distraught.

"Y'know what, forget it. I've got nothin' to lose. Worst case, she blows me off."

Din snorts, and I trot over to the door of Carousel Boutique, where the lovely Miss Belle is currently fussing with her sunglasses, and trying not to look like she's about to cry.

"I say, it's Sweetie Belle, isn't it?" I put on my best tourist-placating grin. She startles at my voice, and turns swiftly.

"Oh my goodness!" Her voice is like her name, sweet bells tinkling in a spring breeze. "You startled me!"

"Well, that much is obvious. I couldn't help but notice you're back in Ponyville after a long absence, and just wanted to say welcome back!"

"Oh, th-thank you, that's very kind."

I notice by the tilt of her head that she's checking my cutie mark. No way she'd have seen it before she left.

"Who do I have to thank?"

"Pip's the name, of Pip's Passages!"

I see the gears turn in her head, even behind the dark lenses. Realization dawns quickly, a pleasant and lovely surprise.

"Pipsqueak? Pipsqueak the pirate?"

I show my teeth. "One and the same! Nopony uses the 'squeak' anymore though. It's just Pip."

She throws her hooves around me and squeezes tight.

"Oh, it's so good to see you! I just got back and it's like everypony suddenly up and disappeared, but you I remember!"

Well, well. I'm aware that two eyes are boring into the back of my skull, so I force a cough and turn out of her enthusiastic embrace.

"Dear, look who I found," I say, emphasizing the 'dear' and pretending like we hadn't been gawking at her for the five minutes prior to this encounter. "It's our old friend Sweetie Belle, back from Canterlot and parts unknown!"

"Oh my." Sweetie's obviously putting up the 'angry marefriend' defense. She has no idea.

"Welcome back," Din says kindly, lowering her head. Sweetie returns the gesture and their horns touch, an old unicorn greeting.

"Weren't, eh... Weren't you two in the same class, hmm? Mayhap you remember each other..."

Sweetie squints behind her glasses. "Grey unicorn, blond mane... I'm not placing the cutie mark..."

"Maybe you'd remember my mother," Din says with a light smile. "Ponyville's clumsiest mailmare?"

"Dinky Hooves!" Sweetie's face lights up and the only thing that stops her from embracing Din as enthusiastically as she had me is the cold glare from the aforementioned.

"Call him Pipsqueak all you like," she says icily, "but it's just Din."

Sweetie makes an embarrassed face. "Din. It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise!" Din's really laying it on thick, all fake smiles and friendly fervor.

"So, d'you 'ave any plans?" I ask, not wanting that conversational thread to continue further.

"Well, I had been hoping to visit friends and family," Sweetie says, lifting her shades up to sit around her horn. "But Rarity it seems is out of town. I mean, I was going to surprise her, so it's not a shock that she's not here, but I'd been hoping."

My heart pangs for the girl. She always did look up to her sister.

"As for my friends, Scootaloo's touring with the Wonderbolts right now -- that much I knew beforehand -- but I've got no idea where Apple Bloom is."

I look to Din, who shrugs.

"You tried the farm, right?"

"Well..." Sweetie pulls a face. "I'm not so accustomed to farm life anymore. The dirt and all that, you see. I was more hoping she'd be selling apples in the town square. But, well, she doesn't do that much anymore, what with the homebuilding business and all..."

"We're your friends, aren't we, Din?"

She gives me that look that says, 'You left the icebox door open and took nothing out, what is wrong with you?'

"Absolutely!" That grin gets a lot of mileage. "Fate brought us all together here, to see that you're not lonely while you're back home."

"When you put it that way, Pip, it does seem like good fortune that I ran into you both!" Sweetie's smiling now. Time to get to work.

"Then I ask, neigh, insist, that you join us for a welcome-home drink! It'll help relieve some of the stress you're no doubt experiencing." She hesitates; I go for the kill. "Unless, of course, you'll only be here a short while."

"Oh, no, I have a whole week's vacation time."

"Splendid!" I grin at Din. She's not amused. "Come on, drinks are on me! We'll show you a good time until your friends show up!"

She's a real lightweight, turns out. The bar patrons are all excited to see her back in town, even if they don't know her personally, and after a glass of wine -- expensive tastes! -- she's on a table in the middle of the pub, singing for them. After three songs, she rejoins us amidst clamoring for an encore, and Din goes to powder her nose. Fillies.

"So. Are you two, uhh...?"

I smile at her. I am not half as drunk as she looks. "Dating. Have been for a few years now."

She pokes me in the chest. "You popped the question, Pip? Hah, Pip pop, that's funny!"

I clear my throat. "More wine, Sweetie?" She nods, and I pour, while snaking a hoof around to her bum. She squeaks when I make contact, and gives me a wild-eyed stare.

"I say, are you trying to take advantage of me, good sir?"

"Perhaps." I wag my eyebrows. "Only if you want me to, of course."

"But you just said..." She waves a hoof enigmatically at the loo.

"Din's very, shall we say, open to certain things."

"Oh. Ohhh!" She gives a haughty sniff. "Well, Mr. Squeak, if I may call you that, I will have you know that I am three sheets to wind at the moment, and you should learn to treat a lady better."

My heart sinks. This has always worked!

"That said, I think I wouldn't mind it even if I were sober." She leans, almost falls, forward, and kisses me roughly. This is what I wanted.

By the time Din gets back, Sweetie's slipped her tongue in my mouth. Din creeps up behind her, shoots me a tired look, and then wraps her hooves around Sweetie, whispering in her ear.

"Oy, get a room, you lot!" somepony calls from the room, and I disengage the kiss, looking into Sweetie's unfocused eyes.

"What a lovely idea."

We gave her a little time to sober up a bit; I wanted to make sure. But she wasn't kidding about what she said back at the pub. Back at our room, we barely had time to undress before she got down to business, and I am currently having both my tongue and my willy sucked by two gorgeous unicorns. Oh, what splendid bliss! This is the life, Pip old boy!

Sweetie's really good at this, too. Far be it from me to presume what she does in her spare time, but that posh Canterlot life hasn't stripped her of the finer details of rough country life. She's really going to town on me, too, and I'm pretty sure I'll be dropping my load down her throat in a second.

Din's doing that thing where she nibbles at my chin and tweaks the flesh over my chest with her magic, and it is driving me Luna-damned wild. With a purr, she bites the hollow of my neck and I spurt.

"Ah, Din!" Dammit, she got me to say her name again.

"Mm, I win," she coos. "Move over, Sweetie, I'd like a turn."

Sweetie obliges, wiping my spooge off her lips and grinning. As Din slides down my body, Sweetie sits up and meets her with a long kiss. I see a hoof moving down to rub between Din's legs.

"Uh, ladies? Stallion in need of sweet release here!"

Din hmphs and grins at me over her shoulder.

"Why don't you go get comfortable with him, Sweetie?" she says, and slaps our guest on the flank. Sweetie yelps and giggles, then comes over to spread her kisses to me. I can feel Din kissing the base of my cock, stroking it slowly, while Sweetie's licking and nibbling at my lips. She tastes like salt. Don't tell anyone, but I really love that aftertaste.

Din shifts and I feel her heat slide down over mine. Ohhh, fuckCelestiafuck, she feels so good inside! She starts to ride me and I'm torn at what to do next.

"Let me taste you," I whisper, and Sweetie nods. She turns around, settling her weight on my chest as Din's working her hips over mine, keeping me right where she needs me so I won't get off too soon.

My world is puffy purple and pink for a moment, and then I get an eyeful of white lips around a different shade of pink. I flex my tongue, lapping at her, and she coos. The taste is like daisies, soft but sharp. I dive in.

I feel Din's weight shift a bit, and then the sounds of heated tongue wrestling. Good. The thought of these two beauties making out over me almost drives me over the edge, but I shift my attention back to what's more immediate. Sweetie may be experienced, but she's never been shown the path I walk. Tongue, nose, lips: I know everything about pleasing mares, and I give her a full lesson on experiencing ecstasy. She can thank Din later.

Well, she's thanking her now, I suppose.

Din's gotten to the short pumps now, bouncing the bed. Their moans commingle, Sweetie's more melodic and thus the standout. I can use that sound to adjust what I'm doing so precisely... Ah yes, a high note! How splendid! I play Sweetie like a sweet piccolo while Din takes us to where we're going.

"Oh, yes, Pip! Ah, dammit!"

That'll teach her. I reach down and slap at her thigh and she giggles, riding me down to the very end of orgasmic bliss. It's the work of but a moment to get Sweetie dripping all over my face. I can feel her starting to give out. Already? But we've only just started. I won the last round, after all.

Sweetie leans forward, pressing the air from my abdomen, not that I mind. Din shifts off of me and helps her off as well, and I stand.

"You there," I point Din to the edge of the bed. "Sweetie, get behind her, eh? There's a love." I'm not sure she knows what I've got in mind, but she'll figure it out soon enough.

I take my place behind Sweetie, sails at full, and spread her cheeks gently before plunging my mizzenmast to the hilt.

I've really got to knock off the pirate puns during sex. Din complains about it, too.

Slow thrusting is what this situation calls for, as I aim to work Sweetie until she can't take any more. I watch Din maneuver her sweet flower back to Sweetie's horn, but it's a bit of tentative licking and head-shaking from Din before Sweetie gets the hint.

In goes the horn, and Din gasps. Ah yes, ladies, this is where the fun happens.

The trick to this maneuver is to power not forward but upward. Too much force will rend your lady on the end, and that ruins a party. So I lift with each stroke, keeping my hooves on Sweetie's hips, and all she has to do is stand there with her head down, gasping in pleasure. Din rocks with my rhythm.

Fucking two mares at once never gets old.

It looks like I'm not long for this round, however. Din's holding back Sweetie's name, I can hear it, and I'm feeling like the dam's ready to burst. She's so tight! She must work out; maybe it's those breathing exercises that--

Mind wandering again, Pip.

With another lift, I feel my control shift loose in sync with Din.

"Oh, Sweetie!" she cries, and the last syllable lilts up to a crescendo.

"Sweetie Belle..." escapes my lips, and I feel a right git. Mares and gentlecolts, the winner and still champeen.

Sweetie slumps to the floor and Din collapses next to her once her horn's out. They cling to each other, just breathing, the very picture of beautiful post-release. I'm struggling for my footing, and decide to just lean against the bed. Well, maybe the bed's overrated.

I join them on the rug, giving each a long kiss. Din presses me down and lies beside me, and Sweetie joins on the other side, curling against me.

This is the sweet plunder that Pip the Pirate lives for.

The next morning, Apple Bloom is located -- she'd thought her friend was coming in tomorrow -- and Sweetie bids us farewell. Our nighttime tryst is a secret, not a regret.

I kiss Din, but she pulls away from me and levitates a slip of paper out of the nightstand drawer. On it are three pictures: the apple with the crossed hammer and wrench, and the heart with wings both have large red X's through them. All that remains is the double eighth note with the hearts instead of whatever you call those little dot thingies at the ends.

"Well?" Her smirk conceals no mirth.

Making a show of rolling my eyes, I take the offered red pencil and draw a slash through the third picture.

"You happy?"

I nod.

She sticks her tongue out. "You have a ring?"

I grasp her face in both my hooves and draw her close, giving her a kiss that she pretends not to enjoy.

"First thing after breakfast, dear. But I really need a shower, dunno 'bout you."

She glares and does that adorable pouty face that shows up whenever I'm right about something.

"Fine. But we're eating breakfast out. I'm not waiting longer than I have to."

"Fair enough." I flash her that grin that could deflect magic missiles. "You're payin' though."

She gasps, giving me enough time to rush into the loo and lock the door behind me. I slump down against the door and laugh and laugh.

Hat and Cape (Comedy)

Hat and Cape
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Ponies roleplay.)

"Come one, come all! Come and witness the Grrreat and Powerful Trrrixie!"

Irritated silence greeted Rarity, clad in a purple-and-stars hat and cape.

"Now, now, do not all thank me at once. Trixie has not even begun her show for the evening!"

How long can I keep this up?

For the sake of the bound and gagged unicorn sorceress below her, it was worth putting on this little roleplay, yet she couldn't help but wonder if the shtick would grow old before long.

"Be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs feats of magic never before seen by pony eyes!"

She'd left her lover's hind legs free for just this occasion, levitating a spreader bar over and affixing it in place as her first 'feat'.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie does so love a captive audience," she purred, and drew close to the other's face. "Are you impressed yet?"

Eyeroll.

"Hmph! The Great and Powerful Trixie is just getting warmed up!"

She licked slowly up the mare's neck, from collarbone to chin, and that got a shiver out of her. Rarity couldn't be sure, but perhaps there had even been a tiny whimper. Good.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie will now impress you with feats of... err, derring-do that not even the most magical unicorns in Equestrian history can hope to surpass!"

Muffled laughter.

Rarity narrowed her eyes, scooting back along the mare's form, until her hindquarters met with an upraised knee and she gasped.

"Oh! I mean, uh, the Great and Powerful Trixie likes this, but she is the showmare, not the audience. Be still!"

A snort.

Rarity drew upon the nearest objects to her -- scraps of ribbon leftover from her latest idea -- and tied them together into a whippy rope. Dragging it over her lover's chest drew forth more gasps and shudders. She even arched her back slightly.

"Yes, yes, you like Trixie's magic, do you not? Why, she used this technique to defeat the dreaded Ursa Major! A mere pony such as yourself cannot hope to withstand Trixie's power!"

The tickling ribbons swept lower, until they played over the very accessible and sensitive areas between the bound mare's legs. Said mare moaned and closed her eyes.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie will now bring the full measure of her magic to bear upon you. Only then can you be judged worthy, for... um... Oh, blast it." Rarity scrunched up her nose, frustrated. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will go down on you now."

She dipped her head in and lapped the folds, drawing out shivers of delight. Her partner had grown accustomed to the soft touch of a lady, but would tonight be experiencing the rough and wild desires of... whatever it was that Trixie was.

Rarity drew forth a small egg-shaped device, placing it where it would do the most good and holding it there with magic while she licked around the edges. A small flick of magic, and the egg began to vibrate. In just the right spot as it was, it drove the mare to wild hip-bucking and ecstatic groans.

Rarity grinned.

She sucked on her lover's clit, tongue playing over the firm nub, listening to the muffled screams of pleasure to gauge just how far she should go. It wouldn't do to end the fun too quickly, after all.

She moved a hoof up and toyed with a stiff nipple. After a few moments, the unicorn beneath her arched fully and shuddered.

Drat.

The egg slid out almost of its own accord, wet and glistening. Rarity kissed the clit, drawing forth another moan, and smiled nevertheless.

"And now for Trixie's final act..."

With a bit of fiddling, the ballgag came loose and slid down to rest on the mare's neck. Rarity climbed atop her and lay with her hooves crossed over her lover's chest, so as to have a good view into her eyes.

"Well then," she cooed, "did you enjoy it?"

A whine and a pout. "You made Trixie come too soon."

"Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie did say to 'come all', did she not?" Rarity chuckled at her own wordplay.

Trixie stuck out her tongue. "Can Trixie be untied now?"

Rarity sniffed. "Only if you agree that it is extremely annoying to continually hear that while one is trying to make love."

Trixie rolled her eyes, keeping her gaze to the side. "Trixie will... attempt to restrain herself in the future."

Rarity gave her a brief kiss, sharing Trixie's own taste with her. "That's a good start." She worked the bonds on Trixie's forelegs free, and the blue mare raised herself up into a sitting position.

"May Trixie have her hat back?"

"Hmm..." Rarity made a show of considering the request. "No, I think not."

"What?" Trixie actually looked stricken. Rarity stood on the bed and swirled the cape dramatically.

"I was thinking, the only thing wrong with this outfit is that it clashes with my mane. Why, if it were in a lovely powder blue... Ooh, or pink! Yes, pink would just do wonders against my complexion. I could do so much with your ensemble, darling! Perhaps even a little glitter!"

"You are not to put glitter on Trixie's cape!" She tried to rush upward, but, having forgotten about the spreader bar, flopped back down where she lay. Defeated, Trixie blew a silvery lock out of her face. "You are terrible."

Rarity grinned and kissed her on the nose. "Not half as terrible as you, dear."

No Means No (Random)

No Means No
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: None, actually, but this is SMPS-related.)

Applejack had her hoof around Twilight on the couch, petting her chest gently with the other, while Rainbow had been giggling to herself the entire time, and brushing her snout up against Twilight's ear every now and then.

"...So, in conclusion, Rainbow and I were wonderin' if'n you'd be interested in joinin' us for a little, y'know, intimate time. Just the three of us!"

Rainbow whispered into Twilight's ear, "I could teach you a thing or five about pleasuring a mare," before giving it a lick.

Twilight shuddered, and not from the amorous advances of her friend. While the concept of a threesome was new to her, and thus worthy of full scientific exploration, the way Applejack and Rainbow Dash had been... what was the phrase? Coming on to her, that's it. The way they'd been coming on to her left her feeling very uncomfortable. After all, they were her friends, and even if they'd been doing these things with each other for quite some time, she didn't think of them that way. There was only one recourse open to her.

"No."

The two mares stopped.

"Wait. Whaddaya mean, 'no'?" Applejack cast a glance at Rainbow, who shrugged and shook her head.

"I mean no! I'm flattered you would choose me, but I do not accede to these sexual advances. I would appreciate it if you would both leave me alone now, thank you."

Applejack hopped off the couch. "Well, if that don't beat all."

Rainbow Dash seemed thoroughly stymied.

"I don't get it. Was I not sexy enough for you, Twi?" She reached out to touch Twilight, but Twilight batted her hoof away.

"I won't say it again, Rainbow Dash. I'm warning you!"

"C'mon, Rainbow," Applejack said, turning and heading for the door. "Don't push 'er. It's obvious we went about this all the wrong way."

"But..."

"No means no, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, and crossed her hooves over her chest.

"Ugh, fine, whatever." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, kicked off backwards from the couch, pulled a loop midair, and then faceplanted straight into Applejack's crotch.

Applejack made a noise something like "WHOOEEEYAAAOHHH!" and fell over.

"Consarnit Rainbow Dash, I thought I told ya to stop doin' th--ohhh..."

"What was that?" Rainbow asked, coming up for air with a snoot full of Applejack's apple juice. "I couldn't hear you over the sound of how sexy I'm being."

"Wait a minute!" Twilight said, peering over the back of the couch. "What are you two doing?"

"What we were planning on doing with you, duh!" Rainbow rolled her eyes once more and then dove back into Applejack's vagina.

Applejack moaned and arched her back, one hoof tapping on the carpet.

"You didn't wanna join in, but that don't mean... Nnnf! That don't mean we can't have fun oursehhh... Ourselves!"

"But..." Twilight ducked down below the couch, until just her eyes peeped over. "You're in my house!"

"Can't hear you!" Rainbow called between mouthfuls of Applejack. "Too sexy!"

Twilight remained glued to the scene as Rainbow ate her marefriend out with gusto. Judging by Applejack's constant stream of vocalizations, Rainbow was quite good at what she was doing, too.

Twilight felt something very warm and tingly begin to grow in her genitals. It was arousal, she realized. She was being a voyeur and getting severely turned on watching her friends have loud, sloppy sex on her rug. Whatever had become of her?

"R-Rainbow!" Applejack cried. "Lemme... Unngh, oh mah stars, I'm gonna come if'n ya don't let up for a second!"

"Whew!" Rainbow gasped, taking a deep breath as she came up for air.

"Lemme taste ya, sugarcube," Applejack begged. Rainbow was all too happy to oblige, climbing atop Applejack and shoving her own labia in Applejack's face.

"Go to town, cowpony," she said, and turned her eyes toward Twilight.

Twilight couldn't help it. Her hoof was busy pleasuring her clitoris at a swiftly accelerating rate. In fact, the actual motion was following a logarithmic increase, perhaps even a Fibonacci sequence, all without her even having calculated the progression in her head. She gave Rainbow a pained look.

"So," Rainbow said, the word punctuated by a moan, "looks like you're enjoying our little show."

"Uh," Twilight said. She moaned as well, and a second hoof joined the first. "W-why would you, nngh, say that, Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow shrugged. "Oh, no reason." She spread Applejack's hind legs so that Twilight could see the interior of her vagina. Rainbow, her eyes continuously on Twilight, leaned down, giving the engorged clitoris a slow lick. Applejack gasped and moaned, jerking upward into Rainbow's vagina. Rainbow then gasped as well and let out a small excited moan of her own, diving back into her partner's labia and munching Applejack's carpet like Pinkie Pie munched cupcakes.

Twilight clopped furiously.

"Uhhhhh," she hemmed, "is there any chance you'd let me change my mind, girls?" She grunted, closing one eye. "I mean, uh, I've kind of seen the, nngh, light, so to speak, and I'm thinking that maaaaybe, just maybe, I'd have a lot of, hohhh! A lot of fun with you two..."

Rainbow Dash and Applejack stopped simultaneously and craned their heads up to level deadpan expressions at Twilight.

"Twilight," Applejack said calmly, "you said no."

"And no means no," Rainbow added, nodding slowly.

"We wouldn't want ya to do anything ya didn't feel comfortable doing."

"And you deeeefinitely wouldn't feel comfortable doing what we're doing."

"Mm-hmm."

"We know."

"Totally called it."

"Oh Celestia, AJ, eat my pussy!"

They resumed loudly slurping at one anothers' mons pubis, while Twilight, having stopped as well, found herself growing more and more sexually frustrated by the moment.

It wasn't fair! She could change her mind, right? This wasn't politics, after all. She went back to pleasuring herself with both hooves, but it wasn't enough. If she'd possessed a set of testicles, she'd be getting blue balls.

Blue ovaries. She was getting blue ovaries. The chromatic issues presented by that thought alone sent her into a further spiral of frustration and near-release. Seriously, what color were ovaries anyway? Textbooks always painted them pink, but she'd sort of assumed they were white.

Oh, dammit, Twilight, she thought, this is why you can't achieve sexual release!

Applejack came first, if her volume was any indicator. Rainbow followed soon after, shouting, "Holy Spitfire cloud shits!" in a tremendous display of post-coital word salad.

Twilight, on her back on the couch, heard more than saw anything, until the moment when both Applejack and Rainbow's faces peeked over the couch back.

"Hey, she's still goin' at it," AJ stage whispered.

"I noticed," Rainbow stage whispered back. "Think we should help her?"

"Well, as her friends, it would only be gracious of us to lend a hoof."

"Oh, but she said she didn't consent. Sorry, Twi, no can do!"

Frustration turned into anger. Twilight let loose a shriek of combined rage and lust and arched her back. Her vaginal walls began to secrete lubrication, while her cervix dilated. Various muscles around her body contracted and she entered a state similar to rigor before relaxing bodily, having made a small mess on her couch cushions.

"Wow, Twi, that was somethin' to watch!"

Twilight's cheeks flushed bright red. "That was really embarrassing, you guys."

"Hey, you got off while being watched." Rainbow grinned. "Maybe you're an exhibitionist!"

Twilight huffed and tapped her hooves together. They squished.

"So, uh..."

"C'mon, Rainbow, we should probably go."

"Yeah. It's been fun, Twi. Maybe you could write a letter to the Princess." She stared at a point in space slightly above and beyond the front of the couch. "A letter about how important it is to ensure consent is explicit when engaging in sexual activities."

"Yeah!" Applejack stared at the same spot. "Takin' a pony's consent for granted is only gonna lead to hurt feelin's and heartbreak. It's better to not have sex at all than assume you've got the right to do anythin' sexual with another pony."

"And once consent has been denied," Rainbow continued, "it can never be given again. Isn't that right, Twilight?"

Twilight glared at them. "First of all, you're both crazy. Second, I get it. I'm sorry if I snapped at you, you just sort of invaded my personal space and set me on edge."

Applejack and Rainbow smiled at each other.

"You're forgiven, Twilight," Rainbow said. "And we're sorry too. It definitely wasn't cool how we came on to you like that."

Applejack nodded. "Next time, we'll ask first."

"Uhh, well..." Twilight bit her lower lip. "I may not have consented to your first advances, but that was kind of then, and this is kind of now, and I kind of have sticky hooves and I'm not entirely satisfied, so if it wouldn't be too much to ask, well, maybe, would you two be willing to, uh...?"

Rainbow and Applejack leaned forward. "Yeees?"

Twilight blushed. "Consent to engage in mutual cunnilingus with me?"

Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack. Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash.

"You sure do talk funny, Twilight," Applejack said, and snickered.

"We consent, Twilight," Rainbow said.

They shared a long, relaxing laugh. And then they all fucked.

The End

Milk (Comedy)

Milk
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: A pony swapping sexes.)

Rainbow Dash dreamed of cheese, but she couldn't catch it because every time she moved forward, legs would pop out of the holes and it would scurry just out of reach.

"Moo!" the cheese cried. "Moo! Moooooo!"

It was only pegasus instinct that kept her from falling out of the tree she'd been napping in. Her wings opened before her eyes did, and as she fumbled to grab back onto the branch, she caught that distinctive mooing again.

"Sure is a pleasure, Applejack, don'tcha know? Moo!"

"Thank ya kindly fer bringin' it out to me like this, Moorietta. Ain't nothing nicer 'n ice cold milk durin' the hottest part o' the day!"

Rainbow peeked through the leaves of the apple tree and glanced at the scene. The cow carried a wire basket, half-full of milk bottles, and Applejack had another on the ground beside her. The cow waved and turned to head out of the farm.

"Don'tcha worry about the payment none now, Applejack. Your granny's got it all covered. Seeya later, hun! Moo!"

"Seeya, Moorietta! Take care now!"

Rainbow let out a breath. That hadn't exactly been worth being jolted out of a nap for. Readjusting herself on the branch, face still peeping out of the leaves, she contemplated whether going back to sleep was a good idea, or if she should just cut her losses and go do something else. Maybe something awesome.

Below, Applejack removed her hat, wiped her brow, and lifted the bottle of milk, tearing off the foil topper. Rainbow's eyes suddenly locked onto Applejack's mouth as she lifted the bottle to her lips and began to chug the contents. White milk splashed out into her mouth, over her lips, and down the sides of her neck.

Rainbow's wings got stiff. She couldn't look away from those beads of milky whiteness dripping down Applejack's coat onto the ground. Rainbow licked her lips, and shifted her rump around on the tree. Something pressed against her and she bit her lip to keep from moaning.

Why was this turning her on?

She was seeing it in slow motion, like coming out of a freefall over a pond and just skimming the water's surface. Each droplet of milk traced a path through the delicate orange hairs, leaving its signature behind. Slick, they dripped to the ground, leaving beads dangling.

Rainbow thought about those droplets coming from her. She lifted a leg and looked back at herself, but it wasn't white, it was clear. That would never do.

"Aw nuts," Applejack said to herself, and wiped her mouth on her foreleg. "Now I gotta go wash up."

Narrowing her eyes, Rainbow thought hard about what she had just seen. She wanted Applejack's face to be covered in white stuff. But how? The last time they'd done anything together, she...

"Wait," she murmured to herself, "wait. I'm thinking about this the wrong way." Her head snapped up and she grinned. "Twilight will know what to do!"

Twilight, in fact, had known what to do, and Rainbow couldn't be happier with the results. Though his legs felt heavier, like he was dragging his hooves over the ground when he tried to walk, a quick test of his wings had revealed that he had way more muscle mass now. Despite being all-around heavier, flying was almost easier now, though he expected he wouldn't be winning any speed contests.

But that wasn't why he'd had Twilight cast this spell, oh no.

Checking his reflection in a puddle, he licked his hoof and slicked back his mane. A little adjustment of his new lightning-shaped eyebrows -- and where in the hay had those come from? -- and he was all set to go win Applejack's heart. Or at least her mouth. He put on his winningest smile and trotted through the fence into Sweet Apple Acres.

Applejack, as was to be expected, was still out working in the fields, hauling discarded wooden beams into a large pile. Rainbow moved right up to her and, when her back was turned, smacked her on the flank. She yelped, and he narrowly avoided a reflexive buck in the face before she turned around.

"What in the sam..."

"Well hey there, pretty filly," Rainbow said in his smoothest voice ever, "what's a knockout like you doin' working her sweet flank off on a day like today?"

"Workin'." Applejack narrowed her eyes and gave him a deadpan expression. "I had no idea Rainbow Dash had a brother."

Rainbow grinned. "It's the family resemblance, right? Of course, I'm the pretty one, Rainbow, uh... Smash."

"Come off it, Rainbow Dash." Applejack rolled her eyes at him. "I know ya had Twilight cast the 'mare-to-stallion' spell on ya. Why, ya lookin' ta plow me in the ass or somethin'?"

Rainbow completely lost his nerve. "Uhh," was the most intelligent response he could come up with.

Applejack sighed. "I ain't got time for no shenanigans right now, Rainbow, I gotta get all this junk piled up so we can get it hauled away, and ain't no how you're gonna distract me. Sorry."

She trotted off to get more wood, while Rainbow stood there, feeling bereft. What the heck had just happened?

"Hey, wait a sec!" he called. "I didn't get this spell done for nothing, ya know. So you're working, so what? How about, uh..." He grumbled. "How about I help you with all this new muscle I got, and we talk about other stuff later?"

Applejack spun around, a bright and cheery smile on her face. "Why Rainbow Smash," she cried, her voice higher pitched than usual, "I do declare, that's the nicest thing any stallion has ever said to li'l ol' me!" She batted her eyelashes and Rainbow groaned.

It was long and tiring work to haul all the wood into one spot, and then haul it all to another spot so it could be hauled to some other spot somewhere else by somepony else. Rainbow didn't really know what was going on, but neither did he care. Every time he felt like giving up, he just remembered that scene of Applejack drinking milk, and newfound energy would surge through his body. Unfortunately, he didn't realize until far too late that Applejack was making him do most of the work. By the end of it all, he was worn out, covered in sweat, and completely miserable.

"C'mon into the barn," Applejack said at long last. "You done a good day's work, so I reckon you deserve a reward."

Wings sprang up. He'd all but forgotten! Though excited, he was unable to find the energy to do anything more than slouch his way into the barn, where he promptly collapsed in a heap and just breathed.

For a long moment, he was alone. He stretched legs, wings and neck and sighed. What in the hay was he doing?

"Aww, you done tuckered yourself out!" called Applejack's voice from behind him. "Now, don't worry none, Auntie Applejack's gonna take real good care o' you."

He was about to protest the use of the word 'Auntie' when he felt something wrap around his neck and pull his head up. Jolting to his hooves, he looked behind himself. A grinning Applejack, her legs sheathed in rubber, a black corset around her barrel, held the end of a leash that was now attached to the collar around his neck.

"Well, well," she purred, lidding her eyes, "lookie what I done roped myself."

Applejack stepped forward, her grip on the leash tight, and kissed Rainbow roughly. Bewildered, he couldn't even respond. She trotted off, pulling him behind her to a stall in the back of the barn. Straw covered the ground, and with a shove, she forced him to his knees on it.

"Now then, Rainbow whatever you wanna call yourself," she said, rearing up on her hind legs, "you think you're tough now just 'cuz you're a stallion, huh?" Applejack bared her teeth and leaned down close to him. "You got no idea what tough is, mister. Lick it!"

She spread her legs, standing above him, the folds of her sex at his eye level. He reached forward, then paused as he remembered something. He was Rainbow-the-Celestia-damn-Dash, and Rainbow Dash is no bottom!

"What if I don't wanna?" he said, staring defiantly up at her. She shrugged.

"Then you're free to go." That grin returned. "But I don't think that's what you want. Not after all that awful, back-breakin' work."

Rainbow glared at her and slowly reached forward, sliding his tongue over Applejack's pussy.

"Mmm, that's right. Make me scream, if'n you think you're colt enough."

Rainbow gritted his teeth. Fine, then. He reached up, wrapping his hooves around her waist and plunged his muzzle into her folds. The hot musk of a day spent working assailed his nostrils. He suckled her clit and let his tongue search inside of her. Whooping, she threw her head back, and tightened her grip on the leash, pulling him forward against her.

"Whoa nelly!" she cried. "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

Rainbow held on as she began bucking against his face. It didn't seem to take that long before she was moaning over him and coating his muzzle in her juices. This was so not what he'd had in mind, though.

"You're a good boy," she said, her voice syrupy. "I'm proud o' you!"

He only glared at her.

"Now you're gonna fuck me good 'n proper," Applejack continued, and settled onto her back.

That's what you think.

Rainbow climbed over her, but started making his way up much higher than necessary to engage. He was stopped short by a jerk from the collar. The dang thing hurt!

"Just what in the hay d'you think you're doin'?" Applejack demanded. "Your parts go down there, mister!"

Rainbow scowled at her, but another tug sent him crawling back down her body. This was all wrong! How was he going to unload on her face? That was the only thing he wanted!

Well, I guess it could be worse, he supposed, as his unsheathed member found its way inside her. Never having had an opportunity like this before, he found it extremely enjoyable, and that was an understatement. It was like all the parts of him that felt good were in one spot, and she was wrapped around them, pressing on them all at once. She was warm and soft and wet and if this was second-best, he could settle for it.

"Oh Rainbow! Aw yeah, fuck me harder!"

Except that he wished she'd shut up.

He did as bidden, not that he needed much urging. The sensation of plowing her fields grew until it filled his mind. Everything was wrapped softness and shooting stars, and before he knew it, he was experiencing his first climax as a colt. Hot lines shot from the end of his cock into her, and his eyes rolled up in his head.

Celestia! Heaven was a warm mare.

His body shuddered and he came down on top of her, panting.

"Whew," she breathed, "that weren't so bad now, was it?"

He shook his head.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice afore assumin' you can just waltz in and have your way with me?"

Rainbow nodded and caught his breath. "But that doesn't mean I can't do that right now."

"What in the-- oh!"

She gasped and arched her back as he began pumping into her again. Now he knew what to expect. He could do this! She certainly didn't seem to mind, judging by the sloppy smile painting her face. It took longer this time, though her insides were much slicker and he was able to go faster. As the pressure mounted, he heard her call his name.

"Oh, Rainbow Smash!"

"Stop callin' me that!"

He withdrew from her, a slick pop coming from the departure point, and reared up, using his wings for balance as he rubbed himself with both forehooves.

"C'mon, c'mon..."

"What're you..."

He closed his eyes and thought of milk. The pressure released. He groaned and she sputtered. When he opened his eyes, there it was.

Gooey beads of white coated the end of her muzzle, dripping towards her neck. One eye was closed due to some having gotten on the lid, and she stuck out her tongue. A little bit dropped into her mouth.

"Ack! Rainbow, what in the hay?"

"I win!" he cried, and pumped a hoof in the air before falling over backward. The leash, slack, left Applejack's grip.

"Izzat what this was all about?" she snorted. "You wanted to come on my face!"

"Uh-huh."

"Sheesh!" Applejack stood, and he watched her wipe the strands off her face, flicking them onto the straw. "Some stallions, I tell ya."

"Did you like it?" he managed to ask.

Applejack cocked her head. "Well, I liked the other stuff. I guess if'n that's what you wanted, I'm fine with it. You deserved some fun, after all."

She lay down next to him, throwing a hoof over his chest and nuzzling the side of his neck.

"You make a pretty decent stallion, Rainbow."

"You make a pretty tough mistress, Applejack."

Applejack laughed. "I try. Next time, just ask, and then maybe we won't need all this." She held up the end of the leash, then dropped it.

He put his arms around and hugged her tight. "We should do this more often."

She nodded. "Twilight's gonna be in for a lot more spell castin', I reckon."

Rainbow chuckled, closed his eyes, and finally got to catch his cheese.

Cold Beans (Sad)

Cold Beans
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Pinkie Pie's peculiar proposal. I just don't know what went wrong.)

Pinkie crouched low, tail twitching back and forth. "Today's the day! It's now or never, Pinkie ol' gal, ol' mare, ol' bean... Mmm, beans for breakfast! That's a great idea!" Grinning at the thought of beans in her future, she hopped toward the library entrance. There were important proposals to be enacted.

The door creaked open. It was dark inside, and smelled of wood and musty books, like it usually did. Shadows from the windows played across the floor, bathing the room in half-formed thoughts. The only sound was the thumping of her heart in her chest. She slunk around the rug, tip-hoofed up the stairs, and crept to the side of the bed.

"Twilight?" she called, her voice barely a whisper. "Are you awake?"

She reached out with one trembling hoof and stroked the curve of cheek before her.

"Why Pinkie," said a sleepy voice, "it's you! Whatever are you doing in my bedroom so late at night?"

"I came to tell you something very, very important, Twilight," Pinkie said in her most serious voice. "You have to promise not to hate me though."

"I could never hate you, Pinkie!" There was a soft laugh. "You're one of my best friends!"

Pinkie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Good, because that might all change in a second."

"Pinkie, whatever could you possibly mean?"

Pinkie's eyes opened. "Twilight, I want to have sex with you."

There was a gasp. Pinkie pressed her hoof to her lips.

"I can't take it any longer, Twilight. Seeing you alone night after night, nopony to cuddle up with or share your feelings with. You deserve somepony like that, and I want to be that somepony! I'm in love with you, Twilight. And I don't just want a relationship with you, I want to go all the way!" She hopped into the air. "I want to take your second plate to home base! I want to bat for extra innings and then get fireworks because fireworks happen in baseball sometimes, and then we can have hot dogs and popcorn, and..."

"Pinkie."

Pinkie stopped.

"Yes, Pinkie. I'll do it. I've always wanted somepony to snuggle and have fun sexy times with, and I can't think of anypony who I'd rather have share my bed and my body than you, Pinkie Pie, my bestest friend ever."

"Oh Twilight!" Pinkie leaned forward and pressed her lips to the soft face. A hoof reached down and touched her tenderly in her most private spot. With a sharp, ragged intake of breath, she was on her back, moaning in pleasure as her lover took her to new heights of ecstasy.

She giggled and moaned and rolled on the floor. The hoof knew how to drive her wild, just like she'd always dreamed. Every touch was like lightning, each caress an ocean breaker. With each stroke of the hoof, her voice got squeakier and squeakier. Things became slick between her legs, and her most favorite part began.

"Oh Twilight!" she yelled. "Cover me in jam and call me a pancake! Take me to the zoo so I can play with the monkeys! I'll be your miniature pirate forever! I'm gonna bust the walls down like I'm full of kool-aid, I..."

With a soft moan, she arched her back and let out a cry of utmost relief.

The image of Twilight faded from her mind, to be replaced by tears.

"Why, Twilight?" she whispered, drawing the ponikin close to herself. She wiped the stickiness from her hoof over the soft cloth face, nuzzling the side that was still dry. "Why can't I just talk to you as more than a friend? Why am I such a coward?

"And why do I say such stupid things when I come?" She sniffled. "It's because I'm just a stupid pony and you'll never love me because I'm not smart."

Her eyes clenched shut and she cried until the tears stopped. In the morning, it would be cold beans for breakfast again. But for now, it was another night with Rarity's lost ponikin as her only companion.

Purple on Purple (Romance/Random)

Purple on Purple
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: My own clone. Written over time.)

The first thing that had surprised Twilight about discovering the other world, the one where all mares were stallions and stallions were mares, was just how handsome her friends looked as the opposite sex. Even her double, Dusk Shine, who was technically if not exactly the same pony as she, was quite good-looking, and she had found herself initially overcome with fillyish shyness in trying to communicate with him across the portal. Luckily, his effusions were just as awkward, and soon they laughed, got over it, and became friends.

Having a portal linking her Equestria to the other Equestria in her living room had made life more interesting, yes, but after exploring the differences between their two worlds, she and Dusk had found that there were really more similarities, and so life went on as normal. He and she, for instance, shared approximately eighty-six percent of their life experiences, if one accounted for sex differences.

What benefit there was from the permanent window was the ability to share not knowledge, but intelligence. Working together, they were able to solve more problems than they could singly, which went without saying, but they fit together so well. Wherever one got stuck, the other would find a way through, until their thought processes flowed into one another, as though they shared a single mind.

They were the only pair from the two worlds who had the opportunity to work so closely. The portal's position helped with that, but the truth was, most ponies didn't even know it existed. Princess Celestia and her counterpart, Prince Solaris, visited frequently, and they had agreed that news of the other world's existence was perhaps more world-shattering than most ponies could handle. It would be kept on a need to know basis; not hush-hush, but not advertised.

Twilight's friends, and Dusk's, were of course among the ponies who knew, and their reactions had varied wildly. Fluttershy and Butterscotch seemed to get on well, though they couldn't really handle the concept, and so tended to stay away from it. Rarity and Elusive grated on one another's nerves. Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Blitz were constantly challenging one another to contests of speed and agility, and coming out frustrated when a clear victor couldn't be named. The Applejacks ignored everything, miffed that they had the same name. Pinkie and Bubble Berry had actually been the ones to discover how to breach the portal's physical limitations, entering the other world, though it had been weeks before Twilight and Dusk figured out how they were doing it, and the pink pair had been placed under strict rules not to use the portal for party or prank-related shenanigans.

Which left Twilight Sparkle and Dusk Shine. They couldn't get enough of just being around the portal, taking in the experience of having a gateway to another world right there on their wall. Whenever one wasn't off doing something, he or she was reading in front of the portal. They read to each other, sometimes, for their respective texts tended to deviate quite a lot. They spent hours together, long into the night sometimes, talking, reminiscing, theorizing, philosophizing.

And then one day, Dusk Shine started asking a question by clearing his throat a lot.

"Say, uh, Twilight, um, uh, heh, do you..."

Twilight lifted her head to gaze through the portal at a very red-faced Dusk.

"Do I what?"

"What I mean is, uh..." He scratched the back of his head. "Have you ever had, like, a special somepony? A stallion, maybe? I dunno if you're into stallions or mares, I guess I never thought to ask."

"Oh, both, actually," she said, smiling slightly.

"Heh, me too! Go figure!" He grinned. "Well, I was just wondering, or really more thinking..."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You're prevaricating, Dusk."

"Yes! I am." He laughed. "Let's try this again. You and I spent a lot of time together, right? I mean, here in front of the portal. Not face to face, even though that's completely possible now."

"We do."

"All right, so, I'd say we know each other pretty well, right?"

Twilight took a moment to consider. "Yes, I'd say so."

"Good!" He grinned, then cleared his throat. "I mean, that's good, right? I don't think that anypony else really knows me as well as you do, and I'm sure the opposite is true. Not," he added hastily, "that I'd presume to know everything about what happens over there. Fourteen percent difference and all, hah hah!"

Twilight's brows knitted. "Dusk, I am ever so slightly concerned about you right now. What are you getting at?"

Dusk Shine pulled himself up so he was sitting straight, licked a hoof, and ran it through his mane as he spoke. "Twilight, this is going to sound silly, but..." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What I'm getting at is that you and I know each other very well, we share the same interests, you're very pretty, and we already spend a lot of time together, so maybeifyou'reinterestedwouldyouliketogoonadatewithmeandmaybemore?" The last bit came out in one breath, so that Dusk was panting by the end of it.

Twilight blinked. A blush crept over her cheeks as Dusk's words sank in.

"You... you think I'm pretty?"

Dusk nodded, his blush mirroring hers.

"And you... want to go on a date with me?"

"Yes?" he squeaked, then cleared his throat, lowering his voice dramatically. "I mean, yes."

Twilight smiled. "Nopony's ever asked me before."

"I know. I, uh, I mean, me either."

"But..." Twilight tapped her chin. "What if we got into a relationship? What if it became more than that? Wouldn't that be... illegal?"

Dusk's eyes threatened to pop from his head. "Illegal?"

"Well, yes, I mean... We're kind of... related, aren't we?" Twilight frowned. "Though I guess it's more that we're the same pony. Sort of."

"There's no precedent," Dusk said quietly. "We'd be breaking new ground. You do agree with everything I said, though, right?"

Twilight laughed. "Well, I'm not sure about me being pretty, but you're fairly attractive as well, if we're being honest with each other."

She smiled as Dusk blushed once more.

"Why not? It will be a new experience for both us. And you did put a whole lot of very good reasons on the table. Dusk Shine, I accept." She grinned, and Dusk relaxed visibly, head slouching. "Now we just have to figure out where to go, and in which world!"

Which turned out to be the hard part. Eventually, they settled on two dates, one in each world, at two different restaurants. (The truth was, Twilight had picked the same restaurant, then changed her mind after the first date, for variety's sake.) Regardless of which world they were in, their appearance turned heads. After all, they were the same color, their mane had the same streak of pink, and most unusual, their cutie marks matched. Twilight found herself wondering if those ponies weren't thinking they might be twins. That would certainly make things awkward if their relationship progressed.

Yet progress it did. One thing led to another, as they say, and soon they were inseparable. Late nights talking became a requirement rather than a pastime. Their chats grew risqué at times, and they spent a good deal of time staring at one another's backside, though they kept the physical aspect of their relationship to just kissing and cuddling. After all, with the awkwardness of their first kiss together -- their horn tips touched, resulting in a magical spark that snuffed candles all over both Ponyvilles, not to mention neither one could figure out the angle, or if tongue use was appropriate -- their first time doing that would no doubt be ten times worse, as far as awkwardness went.

They did not let that stop them from enjoying each other's company, however. Finally, one day they called their friends together around the portal. They stood on hind legs, touching hooves through it, and Dusk Shine addressed the gathered ponies.

"Colts and gentlemares, thank you all for coming. We've gathered you here to make a special announcement."

"As you all know," Twilight continued, "Dusk Shine and I have been getting... rather close over the past few months."

There was a rumbling, of recognition, of approval, and at least one snort of derision. Dusk Shine glared at Rainbow Blitz, and continued.

"Simply put, Twilight and I..."

They looked at each other, grinned like schoolfoals, and said in unison, "Are getting married!"

To say that jaws dropped would have been to do disservice to dropped jaws everywhere. Those mandibles rightly plummeted to the cores of Equestrias while Twilight and Dusk hugged each other, laughing.

Then a pair of hooves began stomping: Pinkie. Bubble Berry joined in soon after. The Applejacks appeared stricken, but everypony else seemed to warm to the idea. Afterward, eight of the ten ponies said their congratulations to the pair, then trotted off, discussing party preparations and outfits.

Applejack and Applejack approached the portal only after the other had left. They protested as one.

"Twilight..."

"Dusk..."

"I can't believe you're doin' this! Hey! Would you stop sayin' what I'm sayin'? Aw, nuts."

"It don't feel right," said Applejack.

"Not at all," Applejack agreed.

Dusk and Twilight looked at each other.

"I understand why you might feel that way," Twilight said, "but we've talked it over."

"We're really not doing anything wrong," Dusk added. "Plus, we've decided that there really isn't any other pony for either of us."

"Princess Celestia and Prince Solaris both even agreed to officiate," Twilight said, looking at them askance.

Applejack cocked her head. "Welll... if'n it makes y'all happy, I guess I can be happy for ya."

Applejack nodded. "She's got a point there. It don't matter what we think."

"Sorry for bein' a party pooper, Twilight."

"Likewise, Dusk."

"It's all right," Twilight and Dusk said together, and touched hooves with their respective friends. Applejack and Applejack shot each other icy glares, then turned and exited the libraries.

Twilight and Dusk shared a kiss through the portal. It seemed like not long after, they were sharing a kiss at the altar, in front of their friends and family -- their parents having been rather confused at each other's appearances -- and then again in her bed, as stallion and mare, deciding just how to properly go about what they were to do next.

"You remember what the anatomy books said, right?"

"Of course! You do too, right?"

"Yes I do! D-don't be silly."

Dusk Shine lay upon the bed, leaning up over Twilight and stroking her chest slowly. The hint of blush colored both their faces.

"You've never done this before, have you?" he asked gently. At her gentle head shake, he smiled. "Me either."

"It'll be a learning experience, then," she murmured, and leaned in to kiss him gently.

She'd become familiar with that sensation, of a mouth that tasted like her own, with just a touch of something extra that she could only describe as 'spiciness'. It made the experience ever so tantalizing.

"Are you ready?" she asked, smiling.

"For our... um, consummation?"

"Yes. That."

She bit her lower lip and glanced down at Dusk's legs. He was very ready. She'd seen it before, during their more intimate viewing moments across the portal, but the sudden thought of it actually going inside of her caused her to gasp softly. A tingling between her legs told her that she was very ready, as well.

"Sh-should I just, uh... Just do it, then?" He licked his lips, kissing her on the cheek.

"I think that might be the best way to go," she answered, and rolled onto her back. "S-stand over me."

He nodded, rising, his weight causing the bed to shift. She couldn't take her eyes from his oscillating member, which bobbed and swayed as he moved. Very carefully, he set his forehooves below her elbows, and positioned his hindquarters above hers.

"So," he said, his voice colored by a nervous chuckle, "this is it, then?"

She nodded, smiling up at him, and spread her legs. "Gently, but... don't hesitate either."

"All right."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and, keeping them closed, proceeded to drive the tip of his cock into the inside of her thigh.

"Ow."

"Open your eyes, silly!"

He turned bright red. "Yes, right, uh..."

She sighed and propped herself up on one elbow. Reaching out with magic, she took hold of his shaft and held it straight.

"Push forward," she said softly. As he did so, she guided the tip against her opening, and then he was inside her.

She fell back onto the pillow with a sharp intake of breath.

"Too sudden?" he asked, worry creasing his face.

"No, no, it's..." She shivered. "It's just fine. You're fine. You feel great."

She smiled at him, and felt him relax.

"You feel great too. I'm so glad that we're sharing this!"

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Dusk."

"I love you, Twilight," he said, leaning down to kiss her as he began the motions that seemed ingrained in the stallion psyche.

"Oh Dusk," she breathed, "it's so... tingly!"

"Yes," he said, panting, "very tingly."

"Is it supposed to make that noise?"

"I don't know. I guess?"

"It feels like..." She closed her eyes. "It's like you're casting magic into me, but the magic is made of butterflies and warmth and it's hitting all the pleasure centers of my brain, like I'm eating a hundred cupcakes all at once!"

Dusk paused. "Huh?"

"Not the best metaphor, I'll admit." She giggled. "It feels wonderful, Dusk. You're doing a good job, don't stop!"

He smiled, and resumed, at an increased pace, and she rocked back and forth with each pulse of his hips. She also started thinking about just what she could compare this sensation to. She'd experienced sexual release before, but only ever on her own, with her hoof, and that entailed a significantly different set of mechanics, focusing more on her clitoris than her vagina. In truth, this sensation, though filling, was actually not as focused as her own ministrations, which...

"Twilight?"

Her eyes locked onto his and it was her turn to feel her cheeks burn.

"S-sorry. I was kind of... thinking of a better way to describe what I'm feeling..."

He smiled. "I was too, actually. And then I sort of stopped focusing on what was happening, and, uh... I ejaculated."

She pouted. "I missed it."

He frowned. "I'm sorry. I know mares and stallions have somewhat different orgasmic cycles, but I'd sort of been hoping we could 'come', as they say, together."

She reached up and patted his cheek. "Maybe we should have engaged in foreplay first."

He nodded, smiling lopsidedly. "W-well, I definitely don't want you to go unfulfilled. I mean, it felt really good for me, but it's not fair if you don't climax, right?"

She grinned at him. "You're so considerate, Dusk. Do you have anything in mind?"

"Um, well, I could keep going. Though I'm not sure my erection will last much longer."

Indeed, she could feel his penis slackening inside her. Not that it felt bad, of course; it simply added to the myriad of sensations she was feeling at the moment.

"Or I could perform cunnilingus on you," he offered. "Maybe that would be best, actually. If you're open to it, of course."

"Dusk Shine," she said, and fixed a serious gaze upon him. "You're my husband now. Saying it feels kind of weird, its own kind of tingle, but it's true. As long as you don't hurt me, you're welcome to do whatever you want while we're making love." She grinned. "Which I think we may have to do an awful lot, so we get used to it."

"Oh yes," he said, nodding slowly and returning her grin. "The chance of successful lovemaking will approach one-hundred percent as we, shall we say, experiment more."

"Now you've got it."

He pulled out of her with a soft, slick noise, and she moaned. His muzzle pressed to her labia and gave them a tentative lick. Her hind legs curled up reflexively and she had to bite her tongue to keep from squealing.

"It's... salty," he said matter-of-factly.

"Well, your semen is mixed in with my vaginal lubrication fluids," she reminded him, and he nodded. Then he went at his task with gusto.

All thoughts of appropriate metaphors disintegrated into the veil of marital bliss. For Twilight Sparkle and Dusk Shine, the experiments had only begun.

Perks (Random)

Perks
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Customer service.)

The last phone call still ringing in his ears, Boxxy Brown sighed as he approached the cake and ice cream-shaped building. He was about to get an earful in person, he just knew it; all he could do was brace for the inevitable as he hauled his cart around the back and knocked on the door.

It took a few moments for any response, time enough for him to consider just what awful scenario lay in store for him. All he could hope to do was stick to the story, true as it was, that the current delay was not, in fact, his fault. Perhaps the shrill-voiced pony at Sugarcube Corner would see reason.

With a clunk, a rattling of latch chains, and a heady squeak, the door opened, to reveal a pink earth pony. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced from his face to the load of boxes behind him.

"You're late!" she said, a dangerous edge to her voice.

"I know, ma'am," he began, "and on behalf of Brown Boxes, Incorporated, allow me to first apologize--"

"I don't want your apologies!" she cried, striding forth and pushing her nose against his. She was apparently nonplussed by the fact that he was half again her size. "I want my ice cream! And I'll bet it's all melty and mushy in those boxes now!"

"Let me reassure you, ma'am," he continued, as diplomatically as possible, "that these are the latest in state of the art refrigerated freight containers, that--"

"I have been calling and calling your place, but nopony answers!" She grabbed his tiny necktie and drew his head downward, so that his eyes were level with hers. Currently, their natural blue was obscured by the flashing fires of Tartauros. She huffed smoke from her nostrils and her teeth ground audibly.

"W-well, it's my office, and I've been out delivering--"

"No excuses!" she snarled. "I will not stand for this treatment! I will not sit for it either! I wanna know what you're gonna do about this, mister!"

Sweat beaded on his forehead. He found himself trying to look anywhere but those blazing eyes, yet his attention was fixed.

"Uh, ma'am, please calm down. I'd be more than happy to overlook the freight charge in this instance--"

"Not good enough!" She released his tie and his head bobbled up and down. "In fact, I insist on paying full price!"

His eyes rattled about in his skull and he had to use his hooves to steady it. "Please, ma'am, I'm sure we can come to some kind of... Wait, you do?"

"Absolutely! One hundred percent!" Despite the reasonableness of her argument, her voice was growing shriller by the minute.

"Uh... Well, how can I make it up to you, then? I do pride myself on customer service, after all."

The pink pony's eyes narrowed. He swallowed, and his back left began to shake uncontrollably.

"I'm gonna fuck you." She spoke the words like a knife aimed at his neck. "Pinkie Pie style!"

"You..." He stood, dumbfounded. "You're gonna have sex with me? Am I hearing that right?"

"Darn tootin', Mister Brown No-Pants! Get your flank inside! And don't forget the ice cream!"

She turned and stalked back into the building. His eyes rested upon the fluffy tail and pink rump, a rump he was soon going to be tapping, if all signs aimed truly.

This, he thought, is punishment I can live with.

Being covered from poll to pastern in slowly melting strawberry ice cream, however, was not his idea of a good "punishment". It was anything but good. It was, in fact, actual punishment. He dared not complain, however, as any time he so much as whined, those fiery blue eyes struck him through again, holding him in position.

"I did say 'Pinkie Pie style'," was all she said by way of explanation.

He'd thought it had been something kinky, like griffon style. Now there was the best way to love midair. But no; Pinkie Pie she was, and a pony-shaped sundae was he. She'd even tossed peanuts and a cherry on top.

He sighed. "All right, Miss Pie, I get that you're upset. But I think maybe I've been punished enough, don't you?" He began to rise, only for a forlorn Pinkie to rush into his path, bottom lip aquiver.

"You're leaving? But we haven't gotten to the fucking yet!"

His left eye twitched. "Look, I think you're jerkin' me around here..."

"But but!" She pushed on his chest, trying to get him to sit, but he was unmoved. "It's just that nopony ever lets me get this far! Don't worry, now that you're dessert, it's time for me to enjoy you!" Her lip stuck out impossibly far. "Pretty please?"

The mood change was giving him whiplash. He sat back in delayed reaction and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I, uh..."

She leaned up against him then, ice cream smooshing between them, and placed a very delicate kiss upon his lips, whispering, "Please?"

He remained still for but a moment. A light laugh escaped his lips. "Well, if you insist..."

"I do insist!" she cried, and pounced upon him, knocking him over while simultaneously cleaning the ice cream off his face with her tongue. It was done in sort of a single motion, leaving him cold and clammy as she chewed and swallowed.

"Mmm, strawberry! My favorite! How'd you know?"

The thought that she had forgotten just what flavor he was covered in occupied his thoughts for approximately two seconds. After that time, she began nibbling at his neck, covering him in small licks and kisses. Inch by inch, she crept backward along his body, and he felt the stirrings of passion within. It was really happening. Something was going to happen, anyway, and his body knew it.

Her tongue and teeth made a clean trail of hair down his barrel, and her rump cheeks brushed over him as his shaft emerged to meet her. She did not, however, embrace him with her marehood, as he'd been so eagerly anticipating. Instead, she lowered her head to his crotch and, with a coy look up at him, began to cleanse him of his sticky covering.

Her tongue swirled around the base of his member, caressing and stroking it until it strained against his hips, yearning to penetrate. He groaned, leaning back on his elbows, closing his eyes as Pinkie slowly and deliberately worked around the base. She even licked his balls clean, sending shivers down his spine.

With gentle kisses, she then worked her way up the underside of his shaft. A long lick to the tip made him arch his back, and then she was taking his entire length into her mouth. Her head traveled with measured strokes up and down, while her tongue wrapped back and forth around his girth, as if to make certain he was entirely clean of ice cream.

A soft "mmm" from her sent more shivers through his body. At one point, she stopped, having deep throated him in his entirety, and made a gulping noise. Her throat constricted around his cocktip and he nearly burst right then. She giggled, and the sound drove him over the edge.

"Oh Celestia, I'm gonna..."

She pulled back as he came, filling her mouth and then covering her face. A large grin spread across her lips and she clapped her hooves together.

"Whee!" she cried. "Now comes the really fun part!"

Panting, he wiped his mouth on the back of his fetlock and returned her grin. "Fun part?"

"Yup!"

She pulled him to his hooves and began bouncing for the upstairs.

"Now we get you aaaaaall clean!"

Hot water pounded on Boxxy's back, relaxing the tension from cramped muscles and cold ice cream. Meanwhile, he pounded into Pinkie's backside, releasing tension of a sexual sort.

"Oh yeah!" she shouted. "Give it to me, big boy!"

She was a talker, all right, but right now, he wasn't too concerned about that. With her mane wet, she was far more attractive, not that he was going to let something like looks deter him from the long-promised sex. He'd always fancied himself a stallion of great prowess, and he was demonstrating that now for her.

Inside, she was tight and wet, and not just because of the shower. He'd caught the faint scent of berries as he'd entered her, and not just because of the shampoo. Now, she was writhing and moaning and rippling in all the right places. It almost seemed like she was doing it just for him.

He pressed against her, his hips slamming against hers, and she panted, laughing and whooping and bucking back against him. His weight didn't seem to slow her down, and she was driving him right back to another climax, and how.

"Aw yeah!" she yelped. "Aw, right there! Muffins and haystacks and baloney and...!"

She came, and he felt her heat increase tenfold as she shuddered across his length. He let go at the same time, and filled her with himself.

They took a long moment to catch their breath, the sound of the water their only companion. Then he withdrew, letting her slump around and face him.

"There now," she said between breaths. "Maybe next time you'll think about how to best serve your customers."

"Uh, yeah," he said. "I sure learned my lesson, Pinkie."

She snickered, grinning lopsidedly. "You better. Or you'll get worse next time!" She leaned up, kissed him on the chin, and then swatted his flank as she exited the tub.

"Towels are in the closet," she called over her shoulder as she left the bathroom.

He laughed to himself, letting the water rinse off what remained of their encounter, then turned the shower off.

"Guess it's just a perk that comes with good customer service," he chuckled, and shook his head.

Cloudsdalium, part 2

Cloudsdalium
by Shivered Timbers

(This is the clop scene from Cloudsdalium, written as a second 69-minute entry for the same prompt.)

Soarin' smiled the smile of a stallion about to have sex with a beautiful mare and led Rarity to his room.

The thing about Soarin's room was that it adjoined Spitfire's, and that meant that from the moment they entered it, he and Rarity could hear the sounds of crashing, thunking, and passionate shouting from its occupants.

"It sounds like they're really going at it," Soarin' said softly.

"I hope it isn't too distracting," Rarity said, smiling, and nuzzled his neck.

He made a satisfied noise and kissed her, eliciting a giggle. "How d'you wanna do this?"

"Oh, gently at first, of course," she said, turning and brushing her tail languidly across his face. "But I'm sure I'll come 'round in time."

He laughed and launched into the air, chasing her onto the bed. She rolled onto her back, giggling and kicking her hooves playfully.

"Oh, you cad!" she cried. "Treating a lady so!" The smile on her face betrayed her intentions and he alighted on the bed, standing over her, nimbly avoiding the weak kicks.

"I'll show you how I treat a lady," he rumbled, and pressed his mouth to hers, which stilled her. Already, he was at full mast, just a hair's breadth from making her his.

"Oh my," she said, lidding her eyes coyly. "What a large thingy you have."

"All the better to... uh... do things to you with, my dear."

"You'll have to show me," she said, and wiggled about until her back pressed up against his underside. His shaft lay flat against her rump and he adjusted his hindquarters until it was in position, just outside its ultimate mark.

"Mmm, take me," she murmured, and he needed no further urging. They shared a heady gasp as he filled into her, finding the fit mutually pleasurable.

The wall behind the bed deformed as something large crashed into it from the other side. While he showed his companion just what sorts of things he could do to her, he watched out of the corner of his eye the shape of a head pressing into the cloud wall again and again. They must have missed the bed.

"Oh, Soarin'!" Rarity cried. "Harder, harder!"

Not wanting to disappoint, he obliged her, slamming his hips against hers rhythmically, listening to the slap, slap and feeling her push against him, enveloping him in her softness.

"Oh yes! Oh Celestia, yes, right there! Fuck me, you wonderful stallion!"

Why did she have to be so talkative? It was distracting him, though he wasn't about to protest, since he'd much rather have her here, doing this with him, than not. She was really turning out to be an amazing lay, and he wondered why they hadn't done this sooner.

As she moaned and yowled and called his name again and again, he once more caught sight of some object pressing against the wall. The screams from the other side were rising in pitch, competing with Rarity's own, until quite suddenly, a head popped through.

"Ow! What in the actual fuck, Dash?"

There was a muffled, "Sorry!"

Soarin' cleared his throat, stopping his motions and clicking his tongue until Rarity took notice as well.

"Why did you st--oh. Hello, Spitfire," she said causally, "what brings you here?"

"Rarity? Soarin'?" Spitfire struggled, but seemed stuck in the wall. "Since when are you two fucking?"

"Since about three minutes ago," he said.

Rarity added, "Until we were interrupted."

"Huh." Spitfire seemed nonplussed. "Well, it's good to know that... HNNNF! SHIT RAINBOW, CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT AND GIVE ME A HOOF HERE?"

Rather than accede, Rainbow Dash stuck her grinning head through the wall slightly above where Spitfire's was.

"Whoa, since when are Rarity and Soarin' doing it?"

Rarity rolled her eyes. "We would be doing far more if we could only have some privacy." Then she smiled, asking sweetly, "How are things going on your end?"

Soarin' began to move ever so slightly, and Rarity groaned, blushing furiously at the public display.

"Oh, just great!" Rainbow exclaimed. "This is the best idea you've ever had, Rarity."

"She gives as good as she gets," Spitfire said, grinning up at Rainbow. "I've never had a mare anywhere near as lively."

"And I've still got a lot of life left in me," Rainbow said, returning the grin every bit as ferociously. "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Spitfire feigned a yawn. "We'll see."

Rainbow looked back up, as Soarin' and Rarity were now fully engaged in their copulations. She whistled appreciatively.

"Damn, they are really going at it," she murmured.

Spitfire nodded. "Looks like it."

Rainbow grinned. "Orgy?"

"No!" Rarity and Soarin' shouted simultaneously.

"Soarin' and me have a strict no-sex policy," Spitfire said. "Cornerstone of our friendship, works out for the best."

Rainbow pouted for a moment, then, with a bit of struggle, removed herself from the wall. Spitfire, after a long bout of grunting and groaning sprinkled with the occasional moan, likewise disappeared back into her room, the cloud sealing itself over behind her.

"Finally," Soarin' grunted, and shuddered. He felt like a bulging dam, near bursting with rainwater. "I think I'm gonna come," he breathed.

"Do it," Rarity begged, "oh, come for me, Soarin'!"

His mains burst and he flooded her, letting out a long, low moan and resting atop her. She made a very pleased sound and bucked back against him as the torrent exited his body, drawing every last drop out.

"Was that good for you, dear?" she asked at length. He nodded, as it was all he could manage to do.

"Now I want you to show me how you treat a lady," she murmured, and wiggled her rump.

He slid out of her with a soft noise, drops of his seed dribbling over the bed. At least clouds were easy to clean. She rolled over, then spun around, beckoning him back down with a hoof and a smile.

"Come on then," she said softly, and he lowered himself over her.

The musk of her arousal filled his nose as he let his muzzle down between her legs, and she very gently began cleaning his cock with her tongue. Needing no further invitation, he slid his tongue out and into her, eliciting oohs and ahhs. He knew where a mare's treasures lie, having brought many to screaming ecstasy with his mouth.

Granted, they weren't normally filled with his own juices, but he found the mixed taste to be not unpleasant, at least. He put the thoughts from his mind and focused on the positioning, reaching the deepest spots, and those most sensitive.

Rarity took her time cleaning him, and at one point leaned up, letting out a gasp as he hit just the right spot before sucking one of his balls into her mouth. She rolled it around ever so gently, tongue massaging the sensitive skin over it before popping it back out. Then her did the same with his cock.

Her mouth was almost more pleasurable to experience than her pussy. It was obvious she'd had as much experience with stallions as he'd had with mares. She drew forth mind-bending surges of pleasure with her tongue. Had he not already been kneeling over her, she would have brought him to his knees. She worked her way up his shaft, attending every inch as it slid into her mouth, and yes, she took him all the way in. Her throat constricted around his tip and sent his entire body quivering.

As he worked frantically at her nub, switching back and forth between outer and inner, he felt himself getting lighter, and fanned his wings for balance. Every noise she made worked up his member, and she being deliberate in her ministrations.

"Rarity!"

He exploded into her, and she let him go, swallowing everything he had to give her. He wrapped his arms around her midsection and sucked hard on her clit. Her hips bucked and then she coated his nose in a sticky mess.

Exhausted, they collapsed into a heap, and he rolled off of her, panting.

"That was really good," he breathed.

"I agree."

They lay there like that for quite some time. The noise from next door had died down as well. Rarity drew herself upon her elbows, scooting over until she could lay her head on his chest. He smiled, pulling her close, and nuzzled her mane.

"Hey," he said, "your mane's all mussed."

"Mmmm," she said, closing her eyes. "It happens when one is in the throes of passion."

"You wanna take a shower or something?"

"Maybe later." She let out a small, happy sigh and relaxed against him.

He lay his head back, smiling the smile of a stallion who'd just had amazing sex with a beautiful mare.

"Where did you wanna go eat?"

She made a small noise that sounded slightly irritated. "Let's talk about it later."

"How about flying? I could take you flying sometime, if you're interested."

"That does sound fun." She opened one eye, smiling up at him. "You're sweet, Soarin', but you need to know when to shut up and let a lady get some sleep."

"Oh." He chuckled and watched as she settled back down on his chest. He kept one hoof around her withers, and lay back, closing his eyes.

"Well, then, we'll talk later."

"Shh!"

He cleared his throat, cheeks reddening, and whispered, "Sorry."

What's Inside (Random)

What's Inside
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Pinkie's favorite filling. Also, I may be losing my mind.)

"Why, octopus of course, silly!"

Rainbow Dash gaped. She couldn't even muster the will to moan as Pinkie's vibrating purple strapon slid into her.

"Now I get to ask a question, right?" Pinkie giggled, rocking her hips forward. The Grape Ape buzzed against Dash's walls as Pinkie's answer buzzed inside Dash's head.

"Pinkie." It was becoming more difficult to keep a straight face. "Pinkie, you're shitting me."

Another giggle. "No, Dashie! I'd have to eat you first and wait eight hours! And not the sexy kind of eating either! Now get with the moanin' and groanin'!"

Pinkie hopped slightly, pressing her hips to Dash's ass. Dash did let out a groan, but it wasn't of pleasure. Her cheek rested on the bed, her wings splayed uselessly at her sides in leather harnesses, and her back legs were held apart by a spreader bar. Pinkie fared little better, with her restrictive vinyl stockings and tail bandages, though she'd spit out the ball gag to talk for this round. And, well, she was the one with the twelve-inch fake cock strapped to her groin. Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and moaned again.

"That's more like it!" Pinkie cheered, and slapped Rainbow's flank.

Octopus.

What in the blue fucking hell.

Rainbow tried really hard not to think about it. After all, her friend was plowing her into the bed, and that should be foremost on her mind, right? Except this was the same friend who had just told her that octopus was her "favorite filling".

What did that even mean? Her mind was quick to supply answers.

"Oh Twilight!" cried the Pinkie in Rainbow Dash's mind, surrounded by a hundred magically-produced tentacles. "Fill me up with your magical love appendages, but please, be gentle!"

Pinkie doesn't sound like that at all. I need a new imagination. The Grape Ape buzzed angrily and a shudder rolled down her body.

But fucking tentacles. Seriously? Twilight was the one into all that creepy Neighponese hen-tie shit, not Pinkie, and certainly not Rainbow Q. Dash the Third.

That image came back, the dozens of lithe, twisting members rising from the murky darkness, each topped with a small phallus. They entwined with one another, sliding up Pinkie's legs as she gasped and moaned, writhing helplessly in their embrace. Two pairs snapped up, gripping her forelegs and holding her spread-eagled. She rose on a pillar made of dickmonster tentacles.

What in the fucking fuck even.

"Dashie, you're not screaming at all!" Pinkie said with an audible pout.

"Octopus, Pinkie, seriously?"

Pinkie laughed, and her hips bucked out of rhythm from it. "Are you still thinking about that?"

"Yes. Celestia help me, yes I am still thinking about that."

A weight slid over her back. "You wanna tell me all abooouuut iiiit?"

Rainbow sighed. "All I can think of right now is you being filled with tentacles. In your pussy, your ass, your mouth." She made a face of disgust and squeezed her eyes shut. The images returned. "You're struggling against these hundreds of dick-tacles but enjoying it all at the same time, as they fuck you harder and... nnngh, and harde-- aaah! And then they start f-filling you with... Oh my sweet Celestia, Pinkie, fucking fuck me harder!"

Pinkie giggled and obliged. Dash pawed at the bed, her hips bucking back against Pinkie's as the toy delved her depths. More images surged forth, of Pinkie being filled with juices of every color, of a rainbow of semen bursting from her orifices, of her laying back on that swaying column of erectile flesh, fully satisfied.

"A-a-a-aaahhh, Daring Dooooo!"

And with that horribly embarrassing shout, Rainbow came.

"Aw, ponyfeathers..."

Pinkie gigglesnorted and laughed until she collapsed off of Rainbow and onto the floor, the dildo still buzzing against the floor as she rolled back and forth, clutching her sides, tears running out of the corners of both eyes.

Rainbow caught her breath and heaved herself up into a standing position, hobbled though she was by the night's bondage play. She hefted her hindquarters around until she could peer over the edge of the bed at her partner, whose amaranthine member waved back and forth in the air like the lube-covered conductor of a sexy orchestra.

Seriously, what is wrong with my head tonight?

"Pinkie..."

"You called me Daring Do!" This began a new round of laughter.

"I was confused!" Rainbow slapped a hoof over her eyes. "I just got off while thinking about you being tentacle-raped! That's disgusting! I'm disgusting! You're disgusting!" She jabbed a hoof accusingly toward Pinkie. "I am thoroughly disgusted."

Pinkie stopped and pouted. "But did you like it?"

"Yes. No. I dunno. It was a good fucking, if that's what you mean." Rainbow flumped onto the bed and grimaced. "It's all your fault with your stupid octopus filling thing."

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you were thinking about that because..." She snorted. "But Dashie, I thought we were talking about sushi!"

"I give up," Dash said, rolling over. "Nothing makes sense anymore and my world is ruined."

"Aww." Pinkie stood and pressed her nose to Dash's, nuzzling. "Bet I'm your favorite filling, huh?"

"Yeah..."

Rainbow thought about her rope nights with Applejack and Rarity, afternoons spent dirtying piles of books with Twilight, of quiet romances with Fluttershy. She sighed wistfully.

"You always keep me guessin', Pinks," she said, and kissed her friend gently.

Princesses and Country (2nd Person, Romance)

Princesses and Country
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: "A night with the Princess of the Day" and "A day with the Princess of the Night".)

During the day, you see her. During the night, you see her sister. Somewhere in between, you sleep, when you haven't got guard duties, that is. You could ask to be removed from your regular detail, of course. One or both of the sisters would be more than willing to give you that luxury, given all that you do for them. Only it would more than likely mean them finding out they share you. You've only ever imagined what sort of punishment you would receive in that situation, so you struggle on through your sleepless haze in the name of Princesses and country.

Days find you escorting Princess Luna about the palace, or more often around Canterlot proper. The pace of modern Equestrian life fills her with a certain amount of trepidation, but more often with childlike wonder, especially when it comes to modern conveniences and innovations. She never seems to tire of exploring with you by her side, and you've come to take great pride in opening her eyes to the progress made by ponies in the past millennium.

There is nothing childlike about her appetites in the bedroom.

On this day, as many others, she has bid you wait in her chambers while she raises the moon. The sight of that orb lifting into the sky lifts you as well. To see time cycle as it should, under the powerful hoof of one of the most powerful beings in Equestria, is an opportunity to relax. It is one thing over which you have no responsibility, yet you always find yourself tensing, waiting for something untoward to occur.

She enters the room a short time later, nodding to the bed. You need no further prompting, and settle upon your legs there as she joins you, pressing up against your side and divesting herself of the few trappings of her station. Without a second command, you levitate a brush over and begin to draw it through her starred mane.

Despite the ethereality of her mane, it brushes just as a normal pony's would. Pulling at the field of stars reveals individual strands of night that are invisible when together. She leans her head around and nibbles at your collar. Years of military training are all that prevent you from giggling, as the action tickles so much. That's why she does it, of course: she wants to hear you laugh, and there is no way you will give her that satisfaction a second time.

"What shall we do this morning, faithful one?" she murmurs, leaning up to nuzzle your cheek.

"Whatever my Princess desires," you say gently. It's a well-worn answer.

She makes a moue, mmm's under your ministrations to her mane, and nuzzles you again.

"Your Princess is feeling rather frisky today. It has been rather a while since you last made love to us."

"Six long days," you respond, and she laughs.

"Is it such a remarkable event that you track the time in between?"

You nod, giving her a knowing smile. "To love a goddess such as yourself... Any pony would count the seconds spent with you, my Princess."

She closes her eyes and sighs happily. "You always know what to say to me, my dear." Her magic supercedes yours and removes the brush to its place on her dresser. Her lips meet yours. She tastes of the night air mixed with rain, her kiss a thousand years old yet every bit new and fresh. Never lewd, never forward, her kiss never ceases to blow your mind.

Princess Luna is kissing you.

She nibbles at your upper lip, a soft and sultry breath passing over your mouth. Her tongue flicks out at the tip of your nose, and she inhales deeply through clenched teeth, pressing her body against you.

"Show your Princess just what sort of stallion you are," she whispers in your ear.

You're ready to.

She kisses you again, and you give yourself to her, mind, body and spirit, following her with your head as she breaks the kiss and turns. Her flowing, starry tail fills your view, and you can feel those individual strands of magical hair. It moves to the side, and you inhale the gentle musky scent of your Princess's arousal.

"Do not be gentle," she says. "Show me what you can do."

You rise to your hooves, stroking gently upward along her back, and she makes soft noises of approval. A stroke of her cutie mark, that full crescent moon, and she tosses her mane, whispering, "Show me."

The tip of your shaft is quickly brought to bear, and you enter your Princess. It is not the first time, and with luck, it shall not be the last, but even more than her kiss, the feel of her surrounding you is incredible.

Like a warm fire after the coldest of nights, she surrounds and nourishes you, drawing you in, making you want her. Her warmth penetrates you even as you penetrate her. In being filled, she is filling, and no heat can satisfy as much as her. You become one, though you are the lesser of the pairing, even if you hope to show her, as bidden, just what you can do.

The first thrust is slow, meant to gauge her reaction, and as she squeezes you, you surge forth. Sacrificing speed, you opt for power, and time each thrust to keep her at the heights of ecstasy.

"Yes," she breathes, "yes, yes!"

Her voice, deep and melodic, goads you onward, and you pick up speed. Stars shoot around your vision; an image like a dark tunnel, containing only you and her, subsumes your consciousness. You travel together, panting and heaving, sweating and shouting, through a cosmos of passionate consummation.

She comes first, with a symphony of fulfillment. You let yourself loose and unload within her mere moments later. She has explained to you that nothing will come of your doing so. It's just one of the perks of this arrangement.

"Your Princess is pleased," she says, catching her breath. "Let her reward you for a job well done."

You withdraw from her and she turns, pushing you gently over onto your back. A long pink tongue slides forth from her maw, laps at the beads of white atop your member. Then her dark muzzle envelops you fully. She pulls at you twice, slowly, making sure to swathe every inch of you in her tongue. When she retreats, she licks her lips and swallows.

"There. All clean." She smiles at you, lying back on the pillow. "Will you join me?"

She knows you have other duties. "For a while," you say.

You lie beside her and she wraps her hooves around you. In minutes, you are both asleep, though you wake a short while later, better than an hour, by some instinctive urge. You unwrap yourself from your Princess's embrace, slip from the sheets, and tiptoe out, softly closing the door behind you with your magic. It's time to go to work.

Your superior chides you for your late appearance at your post, but informs you that duty rosters are shifting and you won't be needed today. This is momentarily good news, and you gallop off to your barracks to take what few hours of shuteye you can.

Your comrades in the barracks speculate on your proclivities -- Corp must be gettin' tail if he's out all day, surely! -- and on the upcoming shift rotations. If the shifts are changing, what will that mean for your other duties, the ones your superiors are unwise to? The thought keeps you awake for longer than you wish, though you are able to get some sleep after all.

The sunset wakes you, as it tends to. It's the signal to begin your nightly rounds.

A quick hop to the kitchens nets you a hay sandwich, and then you report to Celestia's throne room. She smiles as she sees you, nodding imperceptibly and bidding good night to her attendants. Luna passes you both as you take up your position behind the Princess of the Sun, but acknowledges only her sister.

You follow Celestia to her quarters, where she tells the guards to rotate with the next shift before leading you inside.

Her raiments float over to her bedstand, but it is not the bed that is your target. She removes a book from a bookshelf and presses a button hidden behind it. The wall rotates, revealing the space behind to be filled with racks, saddles, whips, chains, leather straps and muzzles.

You pause. "My Princess?"

She turns, her expression bored. "What is it, Corporal?"

"I-If I may... I was told that my shift will be changing soon. I wondered if it might not affect our..."

She smiles, cutting you off. "No, Corporal, it will not. I've made some changes because I see how sleepy you get, in between all of your various... duties. In fact, it will give you more time with me."

You blink. But that means...

"Don't worry," she says, moving over to you and nuzzling your horn. "I know what you do with my sister."

Your blood runs cold. "Y-you do? Does she...?"

"No." Celestia chuckles mirthlessly. "I have found a replacement who will be just as capable of taking her about Canterlot as you. Though as to his other skills..." She laugh again, under her breath, and noses at the base of your tail. "Well, we shall see."

Despite the scenario you are about to act out with your Princess, you cannot help but feel a pang of regret. You are but a plaything to the whims of two goddesses, after all. And that is now but one goddess. She has moved into the sex dungeon now but stops, noticing your hesitation, and turns back to you.

"What's wrong? Don't tell me you prefer my sister to me, Corporal."

"O-of course not," you stammer, your throat dry. "I love both my Princesses equally."

"Perhaps we can work something out so that you may still see her then, if your love is so great." She motions with her horn at the rack. "That is a discussion for another time, though. You have been a naughty colt and I must punish you now."

You clear your throat, lowering your head submissively, and move past the bookshelf to place yourself face-down on the rack. Straps lower and secure your hooves, and Celestia stands over you, smiling.

"You know I care about you, right?" she asks, worry clouding her face ever so slightly.

"Of course, Mistress," you say, falling into your role.

"I mean it. Not just as your Mistress or your Princess." She leans down and kisses you gently. Fire sparks against your lips, filling your body with energy. She tastes of long days and longer nights, the freshness of sunshine and the tang of newly-opened flowers. She slides her tongue into your mouth and explores it for a few moments.

You are kissing Princess Celestia.

The weariness drains from you as she pulls away and you inhale sharply. "Yes. Celestia."

She smiles and nuzzles you. "You're so very wonderful to me." With a soft laugh, she leans back and picks a riding crop from a selection hanging on the wall. "It is a shame I must be so very mean to you now."

With a sharp smack, the crop falls against your rump. You gasp, but manage to maintain your composure. You begin to get hard, your member poking through a specially-placed hole in the table.

As she smacks you again, you relax, close your eyes, and smile. It's a reminder of just why you can never choose between them.

Celebrating You (Sad)

Celebrating You
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Scootaloo hooks up with an older mare, not Rainbow Dash.)

"Miss Cheerilee?"

A familiar voice raises to the surface memories that have not breathed air in over a decade.

"Can it be?" She turns, smiles, eyes widen in surprise as the face matches the voice. It's older, filled out, but still bright-eyed, determined, wild. "Scootaloo!"

"Hello, Miss Cheerilee!" The younger mare in her exuberance embraces her elder, nearly knocks her off her hooves. They laugh, hug tightly. The older mare holds her at arm's length to get a good look at her. How time changes a filly.

"Whatever brings you back to Ponyville?"

"I had some time and wanted to visit old friends. I've already seen Apple Bloom and the others; I wanted to save the best for last."

A laugh at the notion of being 'the best'. "You flatter me!"

"I mean it." That smile suggests a mare who has been searching for quite some time for a reason to smile so wide. "Are you free right now? Oh, please say yes! I was hoping we could catch up!"

She casts a quick glance to her shopping list. This does not go unnoticed. A nod will do for a shrug.

"I suppose I am! Anything for... an old friend."

They go to a café. The younger one orders alcohol with practiced nonchalance and the first crack forms in the image of the pegasus filly with tiny wings. The older one decides not doing the same would be awkward, but finds she's lost her taste for it. Her drink, nursed to sweating, becomes an offering to the younger's headlong tumble into drunkenness. She orders a third after that.

Drinking does not preclude talking, however. She feels she has little to offer besides the mundanities of life in a community that is growing, but nevertheless rural. Small town trends are simply small in comparison to the jet-setting of a world traveler, the glamour of fame, the heights of tall buildings in big cities and their lofty occupants. A long and winding trail is talked across and beyond Equestria, and she finds herself caught up in a longing she had thought long dead.

There is no trick nor trap to Ponyville. One does not go there to stagnate and die alone. It simply has a slower life than that of the coastal cities, or even the regal capitol. Yet now, like a filly taking her first steps beyond her mother's protective shadow, she cannot imagine what life had ever had in store for her from within confines she had never been asked to look beyond. Starry-eyed, she is now the eager youngster seated before the teachings of the wizened sage.

"And that's why I just had to see you, Miss Cheerilee."

"I think we're both old enough that you needn't call me 'Miss' anymore." What had she just said? Goodness, but that should be addressed. "But... I don't understand."

"Cheerilee, then." The lopsidedness of the smile suggests mirth more than inebriation. "Don't you see, Cheerilee? If it hadn't been for you, I never would have gotten as far as I have. After my friends, even Rainbow Dash..." She hiccups. It's cute. "None of them could handle what happened to me and they just said things to make me feel better. But you?"

She leans forward, nearly loses her balance as the chair tips sideways. Tiny wings flare to keep her balance, a remembrance that part of the filly from yesteryear will never vanish. Now her face is flushed, eyes drop to the side. The hooves tap together ever so faintly, again and again.

"You always knew what to say. And it's what you said to me all those years ago that gave me the kick in the flank I needed to get over my problems and look at what I could do instead of what I couldn't."

She wracks her brain, but the dust has grown too thick, paths through the cobwebs no longer lead anywhere unnecessary for the daily life of a spinster schoolmarm. Somewhere in there, an orange filly is straining to see her. "What did I say?"

A murmur. "Lean closer, I'll whisper it."

They both lean in, and she does whisper, but the phrase in this context makes no sense. Then there is the sensation of gentle lips pressing against hers. It is so fleeting a moment, so ethereal, such a violation of all her expectations, of her beliefs, that she cannot be certain it has happened.

"I thought it was high time I came back and showed you how much I appreciated you. What you did for me." The eyes still have not raised to meet her own. "I can only think of one way, the only way to really show you what you mean to me. Cheerilee."

The name is added as an afterthought, as though she might be afraid the older mare has wandered off, lost in the clouds or the crowds, or the myriad market stalls hawking their wares, shouts breaking concentration like hammers. Singled out, like an iceberg, her name rises to her and informs her of just what she has missed.

That she would even suggest such a thing, that there is no better way to show appreciation; what's become of her? All those tales of fame and fortune fade into a dirtied sheet, a hotel room, muffled moans in the night.

"I couldn't... What are you saying?"

The eyes raise, and with them, moisture. "I love you, Cheerilee. Please."

In the cobwebs, the filly rears her head. Voices shout at her, beg her, implore her. It's wrong!

"We're both adults," she persists, "you said it yourself. You've taught me so much, but you're no longer my teacher. I just want this one time with you. It would mean everything to me."

Can she possibly say no? Or yes? There is a cold numbness, like shock from hitting the water after breaking through ice. Her body moves in two directions at once and her eyelids are heavy.

"You're drunk."

"Yes. But I still wanted this when I was sober."

No words come. She stands.

This hotel room is clean. Its sheets are clean. They are neatly folded, and white because they have not yet been sullied. They are a blank canvas, awaiting the potential screamed out in the silence ahead of her. She still feels like something is pressing against her, holding her back.

"You can always say no."

Having come this far, how can she? She shuffles across the carpeting, beige and dull, deposits her bags on the floor along the way and herself on the bed, like she is the empty sack. The springs creak as a weight approaches from behind her, and then there is kissing against her neck, hooves on her chest, the scent and warmth of a body nearby.

"I'm too old." Even in her ears, it sounds fake, unsure of itself.

A purr. "You're never too old. If I'm the only one who tells you you're beautiful, the world is full of cowards and liars."

Hot breath in her ear forces her eyes closed. The words creep on, husky, filling the room.

"With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom, beauty. It's what life's taught me. Wisdom and beauty should be celebrated." A kiss upon her ear, another on her cheek. "I'm celebrating you, Cheerilee."

Her name should not be spoken so, not by this mare. It is a blasphemy, an upset of the natural order of things. Yet the anticipation of breaking taboo is more thrilling than the fantasy of living in splendor. Her body gives in, the touches increase in daring. She has not even touched herself in this way in quite a long time. She thought she was too old.

A warm flower awakens within her, and she is on her back, sampling the other mare as she herself is sampled. No thought fills her head save the here, the now, the lick, the touch, the kiss, the pleasure, the pleasure, the pleasure.

Yes.

Hot weight presses her down into the comforter, flattens her not to diminish her but to spread her out, to make there be more of her, to make her malleable, to be shaped by carnal elation into a new form. The youth of the heart grows outward, fed by the youth of the lover. Entranced, she forgets herself, and lives.

Yes!

The taste is adventure, the exotic. No apple smells so sweet, no river so salty, no snowfall so clean. Ripples spread out from her end to her center and rejoin her limbs, echo through the fabric of her being. That center coalesces, emerges, bursts forth, from the tight cocoon into showers of light and sound, overwhelming.

Oh, yes!

Moaning turns to panting, turns to turning and kissing and tongues and juices and spit and caresses and love. No prompting is needed for her partner to celebrate her once more; she is well versed in these matters. Again the fireworks resound within her, for each stroke is masterfully wrought, the paintbrush filled, yes, with love. What a love she had sought and thought unfit for her, or she unfit for it. To find it here...

When the bursting has calmed, the seas settled, the bed stained and wrinkled, the sheet like fog; when the limbs entwine and hold them close, she thinks. What has she done? It was not illegal. Was it immoral? Beyond the realm of judgments, it was entirely worthwhile. Something inside her has opened; the student now the teacher has returned to share the lesson once shared with her, and it has blossomed from the sharing.

Yet there is something missing. Something is wrong. She lies on her back, clutching the frail form that whimpers in sleep, that shivers despite her warmth, and cries, silently. Scootaloo, what have they made you do? You cannot mend such a break with these acts. How many mares have you said that to? How many believed you? Even if you love me, I will never be who you need me to be.

With unsaid well-wishes, she extricates herself, folds the top sheet, tucks it in. With footsteps silent as death, she retrieves her bags, opens the door, closes it, braces it so that only the tiniest click sounds in the room. There are so many cracks in the image the filly can no longer be seen, yet she's there.

With shame creeping into her features, regret clawing at her heart, she leaves, and loneliness fills the quiet emptiness in her wake.

Lookin' Forward to the Weekend (Random/Comedy)

Lookin' Forward to the Weekend
by Shivered Timbers

"Fun! Fun! Fun!"

A horde of pink ponies descended on Ponyville, their goal becoming their mantra: fun. They hopped and bounded and leapt through the streets, sending ponies scampering left and right before the flood of fun-fueled fillies.

"Fun! Fun! Fun!"

They raided shops, broke doors, uprooted planters and got mud all in the fountain. Inevitably, the tide of Pinkies sucked all the fun out of the area that they could, and bounded off toward Sweet Apple Acres, with a stop at the watering hole to annoy Rainbow Dash. She did not last long, but they didn't seem to notice her taking off into the stratosphere like her tail was on fire.

"This is so much fun!" cried a Pinkie in a bush.

"Fun fun fun fun fun!" yammered the Pinkie who had spent the most time raiding Sugarcube Corner.

"This is fun!" added a Pinkie with wet mane. "I'm in the water!"

"Fun, fun, funfunfunfun!"

"Wow, your mane looks funny when it's wet!" said the Pinkie on the rope swing.

"Funfunfunfunfun..." The Sugarcube Pinkie choked, sputtered, made a noise like a revving engine, and then began anew. "Unf unf unf unf!"

The Pinkie stopped as one, confused by the new mantra.

"Unf?" asked one.

"Unf!" exclaimed another.

The still mass of Pinkies could not have remained so for long, and after but a moment, they were once again moving, hopping, swing, and all crying the same mantra.

"Unf! Unf! Unf!"

"Your mane is adorable!" said the Pinkie wearing shades.

"So is yours!" retorted the one blinding herself with the sunning mirror.

"All our manes and tails and faces are adorable!" shouted the Pinkie climbing the tree.

"We're adorable!" they all cried. They began jumping upon one another, laughing and hugging and chanting, "Unf! Unf! Unf!"

Without any hesitation, one Pinkie spread her legs and hopped at another Pinkie, who did likewise. Their sexes collided with a blast of confetti and the excited moans of two horny mares. Then one sat on the first Pinkie's face. A pair made out in the shallows. Soon, every Pinkie was licking, sucking, kissing or fucking another Pinkie, and the cries of "Unf! Unf! Unf!" had either been muted by wet pink lips or diluted by cries of ecstasy. The area around the swimming hole smelled like a taco factory and overflowed with the juices of sexual satisfaction.

The orgy of writhing pink bodies did not go unnoticed by outsiders, however. In a bush not too far away, Twilight Sparkle, wearing a pith helmet, sat holding a pair of binoculars with her magic, a concerned expression on her face. Both her hooves were busy with covering Spike's eyes.

"C'mon, Twilight, lemme see!"

"Hush, Spike, we can't break cover." She adjusted the focus of her binoculars, zooming in on a pair of Pinkies. One said something, she couldn't make out what, then shoved her hoof into her mouth, blowing on it. A huge penis suddenly popped into existence between her legs, and she began screwing the hell out of her companion. It didn't take long for the idea to spread through the crowd, and soon half the Pinkies were having their brains fucked out by the other half.

Twilight dropped the binoculars, her jaw hanging open. "Fucking shitballs, this is worse than I thought. Pinkie, what in the everloving crap did you do?"

The Pinkie beside her glanced left and right, nervously chewing on her hoof. "I don't know! I don't even know if I'm the real Pinkie! I really really wish I was out there with them though, that looks like fun!"

Twilight glared at her.

"Or, maybe we have more important things to be thinking about right now?" The Pinkie shrank back, chuckling unconvincingly.

"Right," Twilight said. "I just hope that when we get this whole thing settled, the one of you that's really you remembers how to do that horsecock trick." She raised the binoculars back to her face, peering intently at a five-Pinkie gangbang. "I can think of a few... experiments I'd like to try..."

Pinkie swallowed. "Um... Okie dokie loki..."

Author's Note

So I logged into fimfic and saw not a single story about multiple Pinkies having sex despite there having been an episode with numerous obvious openings for just such a thing to happen, so I got fed up and wrote this. Total crackfic. Enjoy it, you bastards.

Doubly Mared 1 (Romance)

Doubly Mared 1
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Nopony can know about us. Will likely be revised and posted as part of a series later.)

"Cara, what are we doing?"

The dark-coated stallion grunted and stumbled as his paramour led him deeper into the Everfree Forest.

"C'mon, Zig, it'll be fun!" Caramel's eyebrows wiggled up and down and he swished his hips. "Nopony will ever know!"

"That's what I'm afraid of." Ziggy Stardust glanced over his shoulder the way they'd come. He could no longer make out Sweet Apple Acres behind them. "Don'tcha think somepony in your family is gonna notice we're not applebuckin'?"

Caramel rolled his eyes. "Please. I'm such a screwup at apples, even if they did notice, they'll be happy I'm gone. And you're just a volunteer after all, not even hired seasonal help." He ground his teeth together. "Granny Smith and Applejack were getting on me to settle down again. I just had to drag you away, don't you see?"

Ziggy nodded. "All right. But I still don't get why we had to come here, of all places. This ain't exactly romantic."

"Oh, it's plenty romantic," Caramel purred. "And more importantly, it'll keep prying eyes out of our manes for a little bit so we can have some fun." He leaned down, lifting his rump invitingly. "You like fun, don't you Zig?"

Ziggy licked his lips, feeling arousal slide forth from between his legs. "You betcha!"

The pert brown rump snapped up and took off down the path. "Then you gotta catch me, mister!"

With a whoop and a laugh, Ziggy was off after his quarry. They barreled down a surprisingly well-marked path, albeit one bordered by twisting branches, thorns, brambles, and all manner of scary, dark trees. But with lust hot on his heels, Ziggy was able to put all of that out of his mind and focus on the pursuit.

Hollering, Caramel suddenly disappeared from sight, and Ziggy's heart raced.

"Cara, you okay? What happened?"

"I'm all right!" Caramel coughed. His voice sounded funny. "I'm down here! Be careful you don't--"

"Ahhh!"

As he leaned over to see what had happened to his lover, the ground gave way under Ziggy's hooves and he slid down to land in a patch of flowers.

"Oh, my achin'... What's wrong with my voice?"

He stood, checking himself for injury and finding none, then looked to Caramel. What he saw blew his mind.

Instead of the bubbly, round stallion he had met at his club those many months ago, before him stood a mare, of similar proportions and exact coloration. She even had the same triple-horseshoe cutie mark.

"Zig, are you okay... All right, my voice sounds weird, too."

The mare peered at him, and then recoiled slightly in horror.

"You're a mare!" they cried in unison.

"Oh no, oh no!" Ziggy raised her hooves, staring at them in disbelief. "What're we gonna do? I can't go back to work like this!"

"Zig, calm down, it's okay." Caramel the mare trotted over to her and nuzzled her gently. "Deep breaths, it's okay, I promise."

"What the hay happened, Cara?" Ziggy felt tears at the corners of her eyes.

"It's these flowers," she replied, looking down. "I heard something about this from my cousin Applejack." She stamped a hoof. "Ponyfeathers, what a dumb idea this was!"

Ziggy had by this time fallen back onto her rump, still staring at her hooves. "Caramel, I feel funny."

Caramel rolled her eyes. "No duh."

"No, I mean I feel..." She swallowed. "Horny? But it's kinda... different."

"You do know that colts and fillies have different parts, right?" Caramel's vapid expression quickly turned devious. "Hmm, that gives me an idea. You know, you are an awfully hot mare..."

"Oh no!" Ziggy shook her head, scooting backward on her haunches. "I ain't into fillies the way you are, bucko!"

"You mean you're not into fillies like... me?" Caramel lidded her eyes, pouting her lips and shaking her rump. Ziggy swallowed, unable to help feeling a strange attraction.

"I'm not your 'buck' anymore, sweetheart. Why don't you spread those gams and I'll show you how the other half loves, hmm?"

Ziggy made a face. Then she looked down between her legs. The plumbing was all wrong! Not that she should have expected anything else, it was just hard to wrap her head around was all. Not to mention said plumbing was currently leaking.

"I, uh..."

"C'mon, Zig, what harm could it do? We came out here for a little nookie in the first place anyway." Caramel poked her nose against Ziggy's raised hooves. "If we change back now or later, it doesn't matter. When are you ever going to get a chance to try this again?"

"I, uh..." Ziggy swallowed. "Okay. But just this once, I'm warnin' you."

She spread her legs as bidden, and leaned back on her elbows for support. Caramel got straight to work, lapping at Ziggy's folds. The sensation was electric.

"Oh my Celestia, it's like you're giving me a whole blowjob all at once!"

"Take notes," Caramel murmured, looking up. "I'll show you the ropes and then we're both going at it, got it?"

Ziggy nodded numbly, watching as Caramel used a hoof to stimulate her nub. If the previous licking had been electric, this was more of a thunderstorm. Ziggy threw her head back, moaning passionately. Heat rose in her chest as her new fillyfriend probed here and there with tongue, lips and nose.

"Now lie back..."

Ziggy did so, and soon had a full view of brown mare rump. She swallowed.

"C'mon, don't be shy." The rump swayed overhead. "I'm not starting until you do; hope you paid attention!"

The rump lowered onto Ziggy's muzzle and she tasted musk and salt. She gave a tiny, tentative lick and the mare above her shivered.

Then she steeled herself. Yeah; when was she gonna get to try this ever again? There was always a first time for everything! Closing her eyes, she inserted her tongue into the soft folds presented to her and began licking.

"Ooh, yes, just like that! Ohh, you're a good learner!"

Soon, the lightning sensation between her own thighs intensified and they were both eating each other out with gusto. The blue flower bed made a soft cushion beneath Ziggy as she bucked and writhed under her marefriend's ministrations. Her own attentions were directed solely at the joining of the nub and folds, and Caramel for her part seemed thoroughly satisfied by it.

It didn't take long for Ziggy to come, and instead of the usual piercing of fire and squirt or two, it was a rolling sensation, a wave of ecstasy that coursed through her entire body. It was like riding a cloud high over Equestria, moving and staying still all at once, and moving some more, until she thought she might burst at the seams.

Caramel came in the midst of this, and coated Ziggy's muzzle with thick, creamy juices, which she had definitely not been expecting. The taste wasn't dissimilar to Caramel's sex, however, so she made the best of lapping them up. Caramel groaned and mmm'ed, then shifted around until they were face to face.

"So what'd you think?" she asked, kissing lazily under Ziggy's chin.

"I think that was pretty darn incredible," Zig responded, holding her mare close. "I almost wanna do this again sometime."

Caramel smiled sadly. "I don't think this stuff works that way, honestly. We just got lucky this time." She kissed Ziggy full on the lips, and the two reveled in exchanging their own flavors with each other.

When the kiss broke, Ziggy let out a sigh of relief. Her satisfied expression quickly turned into a frown.

"Okay, well... Now we had our fun. What about going back?"

Caramel grimaced. "Yeah, I, uh... I really have no idea."

Ziggy glanced at the flowers, then back to Caramel.

"Well, if we're gonna be stuck this way for a while... Round two?"

Caramel grinned. "Round two!"

In Silence (Human)

In Silence
by Shivered Timbers

I really shouldn't have been peering under the door like that, since I really really didn't want Rarity to find out that I was, but I just couldn't help it. Nothing had happened since she'd sent me into this bedroom, my towel was itchy, and I was feeling that sludgy mixture of anxiety and curiosity in my stomach that came from waiting for a first experience. So when I'd heard her talking with a man, I just had to do something.

Was it Big Macintosh? The deep tones coming from the hallway suggested that it was, though I couldn't be sure. His bare feet and freckled ankles didn't help identify him either.

Would he be my first? I shivered. They called him "Big" for a reason, after all. It would probably hurt. Rarity wouldn't put me up to something like that, would she?

I could see her feet too: bare like his but impeccably pedicured, nails painted the same color as her hair, perfect ankles like fine-boned china. Her voice carried through the door, rising in that not-quite-irritating pitch that came with excitement and usually the word "idea".

"Oh there she is! Would you be a dear and direct her this way? Thank you ever so much!"

I stood, backing up. My partner was going to be a woman? I may have never "been with" a man before, but I'd at least "fooled around" once. I mean, I'd never even considered being with a woman, despite most of my friends swinging that way. It just hadn't ever come up.

The doorknob turned and hot panic flooded my chest. What should I do? Pose sexily on the bed? Lean against the sofa behind me? Seductive pout? Show a little leg?

I ended up leaning on the sofa, doing my best not to look too frightened out of my mind as Rarity walked in with another woman.

"And here we are!"

Rarity's paleness suggested perfection, like virgin snow. The color and clarity of Rarity's skin testified to her preening habits, to questing for aesthetic perfection, beginning with her own self.

The woman who entered the room had never undertaken such a quest. Her paleness could almost be described as sallow. She looked undernourished rather than fit. This was not to say she was unattractive -- her chest looked to be about the same size as mine, and her fine cheekbones were the one place where her gaunt physiognomy helped rather than hindered her appearance -- but that her appearance was, well...

Shocking.

Also her hair looked like my brother's and she was wearing sunglasses in a dimly lit room. I mean, who does that?

"Twilight," Rarity began, smiling at me, "I'd like you to meet a dear friend of mine: Vinyl Scratch. I thought you two might get on."

Vinyl Scratch grinned. That I couldn't see her eyes unnerved me slightly, but I tried to keep in mind Rarity's words from earlier that evening.

"If you're certain you're up for this, Twilight, my intimate soirees are the perfect places to meet new friends. And even if you don't, you can still have a little fun with a stranger without worrying about waking up next to them in the morning. After all, that can get dreadfully awkward."

Putting on a smile, I stepped forward and held out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle."

A number of things then happened.

Vinyl Scratch cocked her head towards Rarity, who made a small, meaningless hand gesture. At the same time, I heard Rarity sigh, and I'm pretty sure she said something like, "Twilight, you really are a virgin." I then deduced that things had just gotten awkward. Lastly, I realized that I'd been holding my towel up with one hand, lacking Rarity's tuck-in-able cleavage, and that that hand was now extended, awkwardly, in the air between myself and Vinyl Scratch.

I turned beet red. My hand fell, unshaken, to my side. Vinyl smirked at me and made a honking noise I thought was a laugh. She made a show of looking me over, and so help me, I couldn't not sheepishly cover myself with my hands.

"Twilight, Twilight." Rarity clucked her tongue. "I suppose I should have expected something like this." She moved past me, gathering up the towel with one deft motion. She didn't hand it back to me. "You're not supposed to... Look, Twilight, I know you're new at this, and I appreciate that this might be somewhat intimidating for you, but just relax, please. All you two need to do is come to an agreement on what to do and then let your bodies guide you."

That was not exactly helpful. Vinyl Scratch stepped forward, taking my hand and gently lifting it from my chest. She smiled, looking me over again, and made another swift series of hand motions.

"Go ahead," Rarity said.

"Go ahead what?"

Rarity's eye rolling was audible. "Go ahead and take it off of her, silly."

I suddenly realized that I was about to have intimate relations with this woman in front of one of my best friends. Heat crept back into my face.

"Sh-shouldn't you be going off to see your, umm, match, Rarity?"

"What?" Rarity tittered. "Oh, of course not; I'm staying right here!"

I turned around, or tried to, as Vinyl grabbed both of my hands and pulled me back to face her. She smiled and planted a small kiss on the end of my nose.

"What? Why?"

"Well, it's obvious you require a chaperone." Rarity sighed again. "And Vinyl needs an interpreter. That's my primary purpose for being here."

"Inter..."

It clicked. The hand motions weren't just random motions, they were sign language. Vinyl Scratch was deaf!

All that heat suddenly shut off, transferring along the thermal scale to become a lump of ice in the pit of my stomach. No, this didn't seem right. I couldn't... Wouldn't that make things really difficult? Especially with Rarity watching our every move?

"Is... she okay with this?" I asked, craning my neck around to look at Rarity.

"Talk to her," Rarity said, frowning. "Just pretend I'm not here, Twilight. Well go on; she lip reads rather well."

Shamed, I turned back to my impromptu partner. "Are... you okay with this?"

She raised an eyebrow, as if to say, "Well, duh."

"What should I do?"

Despite the glasses, I could tell Vinyl was rolling her eyes. She released me, took a step back, and undid the knot in her towel. I really had no idea how she'd been keeping it secure, and the method eluded me as the knot evaporated and laid forth her bareness to me.

The thinness of her limbs really didn't translate to the rest of her body. Her skin was pale, yes, with that lingering sallow undertone, but she really didn't come off as underfed, like I'd initially thought; it was her limbs alone that were so bony. The shape of her body was honestly similar to mine, notwithstanding the inch of height she had over me. She stepped toward me, still grinning, her breasts bouncing slightly. I saw her nipples stiffen, and I had to admit, my own were undergoing the same process. Maybe I was ready for this.

She encircled my waist with both hands and pressed against me. That coldness inside me dissipated as she took my lips in hers and sucked at them. I could feel the warmth of her body suffusing me, the strands of electric blue hair brushing against my forehead. I closed my eyes and kissed her back, reaching up to grasp her shoulders lightly.

I waited for our lips to part, then asked softly, "What should we do?"

Her fingers traced odd shapes over my back, and I realized she was signing at Rarity. The remembrance of my friend watching my nudity and closeness with this other woman, brought the flush back to my cheeks. This was going to be horribly awkward.

"Get to know each other," Rarity said. I closed my eyes, breathing in through my nose. That had been Vinyl Scratch's Voice, not Rarity's.

A finger gently lifted my chin.

"Don't be afraid, Twilight," Vinyl whispered through Rarity.

My eyes opened. I looked up at Vinyl, drew my hands up around her neck, and kissed her again. Her hands trailed over my back and down my sides. Her breasts pressed against mine, pushing them down just a bit, and she rubbed her hips against me, pressing me back against the sofa. I tasted her mouth, soft and minty, and explored the curves of her scapulae with my fingertips. One of her hands roamed over my ass, then lifted my thigh, wrapping my leg around her. I responded by brushing my fingers across her breasts and then, letting go of fear, grasping them firmly.

I felt like I'd been swimming for days and had just now spotted land.

The upper surface of her thigh rubbed between my legs and I moaned. Actually, it was more of a moaning, choking, startled gasp into her mouth, which made me feel silly and disoriented. I was wet; she was sexy. I couldn't deny it any more: I wanted this.

Her head dipped down to my sternum, pressing kisses along my left clavicle. She was obviously moving downward, and I took my hands off her to grip at the sofa instead. The support was a good idea, because she started sucking on my right nipple and oh my Celestia, that felt good. Her grip moved from my back to my hips, and one hand slid against my mons. She ruffled my pubic hair, which seemed kind of a weird thing to do, but then she pressed her finger against my labia. If there had been, at that moment, any doubt in my mind about my first time with a woman, her touch erased it.

I came.

I'm embarrassed to admit it required so little on her part, but... Well, no one had ever touched me that way before. I hadn't even touched me that way before!

I threw my head back and shouted and my body kind of vibrated. Vinyl snorted loudly and looked up at me, bewilderment and amusement mingling on her face.

"Goodness," Rarity said quietly behind me. Vinyl looked over and signed something to her; she laughed.

"I think you two should move to the bed before one of you falls over, Twilight," Rarity said.

I most definitely did not want to move, and then found that it was not easy to do so, as my legs had been replaced by jelly. Vinyl half-dragged me across the floor and I collapsed at her feet as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Then I figured, since I was in the right position, why not return the favor? No fear, after all! I put my hands on her knees and smiled up at her; she got the hint quickly, leaning back on her elbows. Before I knew it, I was nose-deep in vagina.

This was, I mused, not the strangest thing I had ever done, and yet perhaps not the sort of experience I should have just dove into. The scent was overwhelming, the taste not entirely pleasant. But Vinyl's hips were shivering as I licked at her labia and clitoris, and I realized that above all else, I wanted this woman to feel what I had just felt. It just looked like it was going to take a little more work.

I shook my head, letting my hair spread out over her thighs and belly. It seemed like the added stimulation was doing the trick. Her hips lifted, heels resting on my shoulders, and I curled my arms underneath her, keeping her vulva up where I could access it without having to lean over. I dug in, so to speak, and watched her grip the sheets. Hey, for a virgin, I wasn't doing too bad at this!

Then she made the loudest, most horrible noise I have ever heard come from human vocal chords.

I understood that she couldn't hear what she was doing. I understood that, if she'd been born deaf or lost her hearing at a young age, she probably didn't know how to talk at all. That didn't stop me from feeling horrendously awkward. Not to mention I was so surprised that I lost my grip on her waist and her rear half flopped onto the bed. She slapped the mattress a few times, biting her lip, and I looked to Rarity, at a loss for what to do.

Rarity's hand was between her legs.

I nearly fell onto the bed. One of my best friends was actually getting off while watching me have sex with someone else? It was more than stunning, it was... Impossible? Did I not consider my friends as sexual objects, or partners, or... whatever? I mean, it's not like I didn't know that Pinkie had slept with most of them, or that Rarity threw these sex parties every now and then, but until that moment, the subject of my friends' sexualities, of their sexual beings, had just never crossed my mind.

I really was a virgin. I guess there was nothing saying Rarity couldn't enjoy herself at her own parties. I mean, if she had to be my chaperone, she ought to get something out of it, right?

Rarity noticed me staring at her. She cleared her throat, pushed a stray lock of hair back into place, and said, "Twilight dear, I shouldn't have to tell you this, but your partner is currently being neglected. I do believe she just said that if you don't turn around and start eating her out right now, she will introduce your rear end to the back of her hand."

I probably squeaked as I turned around and penetrated Vinyl with my index finger. I made a quick vector calculation and curved it upward just slightly. The gasp and groan she emitted signaled that I had succeeded in finding her G-spot. It didn't take much in the way of rubbing for her to let out a series of three more loud honking sounds, interspliced with sharp inhalations.

With a soft moan, she smiled and reached out her arms to me. Guessing at her intentions, I climbed atop her and laid down. She smoothed my hair back, smiled, and kissed me. Then she signed something.

"I already told you, you need to focus on me and not her. Now come on, let's try this one more time, huh?"

"W-what do you mean?" I asked, and actually did not look at Rarity this time.

"You're cute, so I'll give you another chance. Show me what you can do."

She pulled back a bit, and I let her move, scooting across the bed. She gestured for me to lie down, then shook her head, motioning for me to turn around. Suddenly, I got the idea. Once again, I hadn't thought about something sex-related that should have otherwise been obvious. I promised myself I would find every book on the subject that I could once I got home.

But for now, I underwent the slightly confusing process of overlapping legs and then scooting together until our pelvises touched. The initial bump sent a shockwave of pleasure up my body, and soon we were grinding and gyrating against each other. The act wasn't as penetrative as I normally preferred, but every motion produced immediate, gratifying pleasure in both of us.

I tuned out the sounds she made and soon realized that Rarity was once again enjoying herself across the room on the sofa. The thought now made me feel... good. I liked enjoying things with my friends, after all; why not this? I didn't look at her, focusing instead on Vinyl as she'd asked me to, but hearing Rarity's moans of pleasure mixing with Vinyl's and my own, I felt like we were all connected, sharing emotions.

Vinyl Scratch had two orgasms in a row; I had three and then I couldn't take it anymore. I collapsed back onto the bed and couldn't move beyond moaning happily. She dragged herself over and laid down partially on top of me. I gave her a big hug and mouthed, "You're amazing" at her. Because really, she was. I had had things all wrong from the start, but I was so very glad I'd gone through with all of this. I couldn't think of anyone better to lose my virginity -- well, my lesbian virginity -- to. She grinned, gave me a long kiss, and then stretched, kneeling on the bed. I watched her breasts sway as she snapped her fingers, getting Rarity's attention.

"Oh my!" Rarity suddenly appeared from the sofa, hair a total mess. I thought I could see something wet on her fingertips, but she licked them clean without a second thought. "Did you have a good time?" She asked it vocally and in signs simultaneously.

I nodded. Vinyl did as well, then clambered off the bed. She walked over to Rarity, took her hand, gave a little bow and kissed it. Then she slid a foot under one of the towels on the floor, kicked it up, and wrapped it around herself. Pausing to wave at me, she strode with stiff-legged jauntiness out the door, leaving me feeling slightly bemused.

"Well, Twilight, what did you think?" Rarity was absent-mindedly fixing her hair as she walked over to the bed. Her robe, I noticed then, was hanging off her shoulders, giving me a view of the impressive bust that I knew one little green-haired boy would have killed to see. Her stomach was trim, her labia wet, and her, uh, "landscaping"...

Was shaped like a heart.

I coughed, suddenly feeling embarrassed once again. She was still my friend, after all. The robe closed around her as I tried very hard to look at the ceiling and remember what she'd just asked me.

"I had a good time," I said softly. "Did you know I'd never been with a woman before?"

"Mm-hmm. I thought it would be a bit easier on you for your first time at one of my parties."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Rarity."

"Why, it's my pleasure, dear. Just remember that, next time..."

I perked. "You mean I can do this again?" Suddenly I was on my knees, grabbing her hand and pumping it. "Thank you, thank you! I promise it won't be awkward at all next time! I'll read every book about sexual intercourse I can find!"

Her face contorted into a look that read "Twilight just said something silly again" and laughed. "I'm sure you will, dear. I'll trust you to come prepared, then?"

"Of course." I grinned. "What are friends for?"

I stood, moving over to grab my towel. As I bent down, I felt a stinging slap on the butt. The actuality of it was more shocking than the pain. My back straightened and I let out an "Eep!"

"What are friends for indeed?" she said, chuckling. "See you next time, Twilight Sparkle."

She left the room then, shutting the door behind herself, and leaving me to wonder just what it was she'd meant by that.

Author's Note

Arr, mateys, it's yer ol' pal Shivered 'ere, sailin' the slick, salty seas once agin! This time abouts, we get summin' what I literally dreamed up! Honest: I even got to watch from Twilight's perspective as she peeked unner the door, stood back, and then started goin' to town on Vinyl. Haharr, 'twas a good night's sleep, that! It didn't do so hot in the writeoff, but I figger that's on account o' there bein' no plot. I mean, they ain't even ponies, yarr! (Also, I sorta fergot t' make it 'pony relevant', so there'll be no postin' on its own 'ereabouts!)

Anyway, I 'opes ye all enjoys me little drabble 'ere. It ain't spectacular, but it won't 'arm nopony neither. 'Til next we sets sail, messmates!

A Pile of Mush (Romance/AU)

A Pile of Mush
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Sometimes, Rarity likes getting dirty.)

"Applejack, why do you have to be good and make me look so bad?"

With a pout, Rarity turned her tail towards Applejack, who simply chuckled.

"Oh Rarity, you think I'm that good?" She chuckled again. "Maybe yer just a bad pony, Rare. Ever thought about that?"

Rarity sniffed haughtily, promising herself that she would not pay her cowpoke friend any more heed, but the words resounded in her head for the remainder of the day. Her initial denial of them turned quickly into a contemplation and then, if not acceptance, certainly an understanding. She didn't want to be a bad pony; she wanted to be good, and make things up to her sister.

The words fueled a fire within her, a drive to better herself in ways she never had. The fire lasted until she found herself buried over her poll in a mud pit, breathing through a straw and hoping that nopony noticed she was there.

Rarity, what in Equestria are you doing? You can barely breathe, you can't see, this is hardly a mudpack... Whatever possessed you to do this sort of unseemly action in the first place?

Sweetie Belle is worth it, she told herself quickly. And it wasn't entirely unpleasant here. Had this been a mudpack, the mud would have been warm, but as it was, it provided a closeness that made her feel secure despite the anxiety that built inside her at the thought of what was going to happen next. She just had to wonder how she was going to know when the time was right to put their plan into action.

The answer came shortly after the question. Small thumpings sounded above her. Then the mud swayed violently as though something large had just crashed through into it. That would be Applejack. Taking a deep breath, Rarity sprang into action, finding the mud difficult to push through, or at least more so than she'd been expecting. Help came unexpectedly in the form of something hard and warm pressing against her most delicate of places.

Applejack, what are you... She bit down panic. Well, it's not like she can see where she's pushing.

Rarity decided to just be grateful for the hoof up. Making certain Applejack's spare hat was placed firmly on her head, she reached upward, breaking the surface, and grabbing on to the small white hoof reaching down into the mud.

"You okay, Applejack?"

Then she was off. It had worked! Sweetie was none the wiser. Rarity's normally strict exercise regimen had proving immensely helpful in dusting the competition in the race. Her grace and poise served her well for the egg carrying and grape tossing. If not for that one little fumble at the end, they could have won; given the slight head start all the other sister pairs had had, though, second place was entirely welcome. More importantly, they had done it together, and Rarity had regained Sweetie Belle's love.

After the revelation of her deceit, Sweetie's acceptance, and the awarding of prizes, Applejack said, "C'mon, Rarity, you can hose off in the barn." Sweetie Belle seemed content to discuss her accomplishments with her friends, and so Rarity followed her own friend back to the farmyard proper.

Clearing her throat, Rarity said, "Applejack, I really cannot thank you enough for all of your help. Though you might want to be a tad more... discreet when helping a pony out of the mud in the future."

"Discreet, huh? I didn't hurt ya, did I?" There was an edge to the question.

"No... But you did, ah, shall we say, touch me rather inappropriately."

Applejack's voice lowered to a husky whisper. "Inappropriate, huh? Did you think that was inappropriate, Rarity?"

Rarity was suddenly very aware that Applejack had moved right beside her and was breathing hotly into her ear.

"Well, I-I understand that it wasn't intentional, Applejack..."

"Oh, it were intentional, all right," Applejack hissed. "I bet ya liked it, ya dirty pony."

Rarity's vision swam. She suddenly forgot just about everything else that was happening. "Applejack, are you... Coming on to me?" The heat in her loins suggested that this was not entirely unwelcome.

"Maybe." There was a small nip at her ear. "But I dunno if a dirty, bad pony like you deserves it."

"Y-y-you wh-wh-wh-wha..."

"Rarity." The way Applejack said her name made her weak in the knees. "They got a word fer ponies like you." She spent a long minute just breathing in Rarity's ear. "Minx."

"I-I-I-I--"

"Oh yeah. Minx." Applejack trotted a path around her. They had since stopped walking. "Ain't like I haven't noticed what you do, how you like to look. Yer a saucy one, Rarity. I bet you liked bein' in that mud. I bet you liked me touchin' you in that mud." Applejack pressed against her flanks.

"I bet you'd like me to touch you again. Right..."

A hoof trailed down Rarity's withers. She quaked.

"Now."

"Applejack, y-yes..."

Rarity had lost all sense of herself, of propriety. She didn't have time to think, could barely form words. The hoof traced across her dock, down the curve of her rump, and then vanished.

"Well, you gotta catch me first."

With a wicked grin, Applejack dashed for the barn. Rarity realized her eyes had been squeezed shut during the entire conversation, and she snapped them open before taking off after her friend.

Lover?

Though already somewhat winded from running in the Social, Rarity found a reserve of energy, sprinting after Applejack and catching up to her neatly. Applejack pulled ahead, laughing, and Rarity lunged, tackling her through the entrance to the barn.

When they stopped moving, she was out of breath, covered in mud and hay, and Applejack was on top of her, looking triumphant.

"Now I dunno if you deserve it, Rarity."

"No, Applejack, I do..."

"Yer awful sweaty and dirty, Rarity." That quaking feeling returned, hearing her name said again and again. "I reckon that ain't ladylike."

"No, I like being dirty." What were these words coming from her mouth? "Applejack, make me dirtier!"

A wicked grin. "It'll be my pleasure, sugarcube."

Applejack gave Rarity a light shove, and she rolled off the short haystack into a pool of dirty water. Pushing herself up, Rarity spluttered, looking through streaming mane as Applejack pounced on her, tickling under her arms. Laughing, Rarity heeled over and felt more dirty water splashing onto her coat.

"You like bein' dirty, Rarity?"

"Yes! Filthy!"

"You're such a bad pony."

"I am a bad pony!" she cried, moaning. "Applejack, I'm so bad!"

Applejack's voice seeped into her ear once again. "So bad."

And then the touch came.

Rarity lit up like a firework, crying out Applejack's name as the heat rose inside her. Applejack pressed atop her, prodding and massaging her special place. Every shiver drove Rarity deeper into the mud, but she didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that hoof to her nether regions, playing her like a banjo and eliciting a symphony of cries and moans from her throat.

"Don't stop... don't..."

Applejack did not stop. With a thundering hush, Rarity's entire body shook and she splashed in the mud, squealing Applejack's name.

"Let me! Please!"

Her paramour was all too happy to oblige, the sinewy orange rump wheeling about to plop down over her face. Rarity gave her friend's flower a lick, collecting grit on her tongue and spitting it onto the ground before savoring Applejack's heady muskiness and showing her just how much those touches had meant. Applejack moaned into Rarity's legs, giving as good as she got. Tension built and built, and with every swipe of Applejack's tongue, Rarity made sure to repay it double.

Presently, they exploded, Applejack slightly sooner, rolling off of Rarity as she collapsed back into the mud, panting.

"Yer not such a bad pony," Applejack murmured. Rarity turned her head to see her friend looking strangely cute, smiling at her without any of the previous malice or dominance, hooves drawn up to her chin. "I like seein' you this way."

Rarity rolled onto her side, wrapping her hooves around Applejack and kissing her gently. She said nothing, and soon she was asleep.

When she awoke, sometime late in the evening, it was to a stiff back and an otherwise pleasurable ache all over her body. Something had caked into her mane and coat, and for a moment, she was confused. A light snore drew her attention to the mare held in her embrace, and Rarity smiled, flushing at the memory of what they had done.

"Applejack?" she said softly.

"Mm?"

"Should we do something? I mean... One usually would make breakfast, but I think it might be somewhat late in the day for that..."

"Nah." Applejack snuggled up against her. "Just go back to sleep, Rarity."

A thrill surged through her. Rarity had no idea what had just happened. A large portion of her mind screamed out to her to categorize this moment as something special, to turn them into a 'them'. Here in Applejack's barn, she realized, such analysis meant nothing. There was her, there was Applejack, and there was an overwhelming sense of peace and security.

And a slightly stiff back. But that would pass.

Rarity closed her eyes, placing her nose against the back of Applejack's neck. Whatever had happened, putting words to it could wait.

Oh, Come On! (Comedy)

Oh, Come On!
by Shivered Timbers

"Thanks, Spike. I have to be at my best when she arrives with the delegates from Saddle Arabia. I can't believe she's trusting me with the entertainment!"

Rainbow blurs always happened when Twilight was least expecting them. At that moment, disarmed by Spike's praise and distracted by Fluttershy's neuroses, Twilight's guard had never been lower.

She was bowled off her hooves and sent sprawling into the grass, nearly crashing into a nearby fence. The dirt dug into her back, covering her in small nicks and dents. Rainbow Dash, eyes wide, had pinned her with all four legs, and was leaning over her, panting.

"Twilight!" she shouted. "Come quick!"

What? Twilight thought, her mind racing. Here? Now?

"It's an emergency!"

That pronouncement changed things. Sweat beaded across Twilight's brow. Her legs trembled.

It was an emergency. Everypony was counting on her. She had to do it, right now and right here, consequences be damned.

The clock is ticking, Twilight!

But try as she might, spontaneous orgasm was not one of her skills. She needed to concentrate, to focus! But what could she possibly...

Rainbow Dash! Athletic, lithe, stupid sexy Rainbow Dash was right there in front of her! Surely, a pony that good-looking would be the perfect object to excite Twilight's lust, right?

Well, at the moment, she was just standing there with a frantic and pleading look; hardly arousing. Thinking quickly, Twilight pictured her in a hot outfit, like a cheerleading-- no, wait, a plaid skirt and button-up blouse, with white stockings and glasses. And a ponytail. Ponytails are hot.

Twilight began to feel warm.

"Oh, Miss Twilight," moaned Rainbow Dash, pouting and showing her rump. "I'm so bad at tests. Can you teach this naughty schoolfilly everything you know... after school?"

"I'd love to," Teacher Twilight said, licking her ruler while adjusting her garter belt. Her leather skirt rode up as she sat on the edge of her desk, revealing panties striped in the same colors as Celestia's mane.

Rainbow Dash moved towards her, pressing her back against the desk, their lips locking. Rainbow's hoof moved beneath Twilight's skirt as their tongues entwined. Twilight drew her hoof down Rainbow's back, eliciting a shuddering gasp of pleasure from the mare.

They parted, strands of saliva just absolutely everywhere. Twilight grinned wickedly.

"Now bend over, my faithful student."

Rainbow acquiesced, flushing in embarrassment.

"It's my first time, teacher... Be gentle..."

Twilight's back arched and she cried out, "Oh, Luna's fetlocks!"

Rainbow Dash -- the real Rainbow Dash -- recoiled slightly, looking confused.

"Uhh, Twilight, what did you just--"

"Was I... Nnngh... Fast enough for you, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight wiped at the drool spreading over her cheek, panting.

Rainbow, her features contorted in disgust, flapped her wings until she was hovering. "Ew."

Twilight's head lolled to the side, where she saw Fluttershy covering Spike's eyes with a hoof. Fluttershy's wings were fully extended, her face bright red.

Clearing her throat, Twilight asked good-naturedly, "So, uh... I'm guessing that wasn't the emergency."

Rainbow slapped herself in the face. "Oh, just co--" She paused, her disgust returning tenfold. "Follow me," she groused, grabbing Twilight's tail in her teeth and hauling her into town.

Kinda Magical (Comedy)

Kinda Magical
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: It's just us together on our special movie night.)

Twilight giggled her way through the darkened theater, wings rustling as she tried again and again to unsuccessfully hush Rainbow Dash. Excitement stirred like lightning beneath her skin, and it was all she could do to keep herself from bursting out in boisterous laughter. They had compromised on their plan by agreeing to keep to the back rows, in a corner as far from other moviegoers as they could. As they picked their way through the velvet-covered retracting seats and their eyes adjusted to the darkness, she was pleased to see that there were only a few other patrons in the theater.

Good, she thought. It wouldn't be nearly as much fun if they'd been all alone.

"Over here, over here!" Rainbow hissed, nipping at her dock. Twilight had to bite down on her own hoof to keep from squealing as she plunked her rump down on the seat next to her marefriend. Their giggles quieted as they settled in, wings wrapping around one another.

They had come in time for the previews, she noticed as she looked up at the screen. The current one appeared to be advertising a family-friendly romp featuring cartoonish griffins singing about food.

"What movie did you pick, anyway?" she asked, voice hushed. She could feel Rainbow shrug next to her.

"Who cares?" The eye rolling was audible. "It's not like we're gonna watch it or anything."

Twilight snickered, biting her lower lip. "Once the movie starts, so do we."

Rainbow leaned in close and whispered into her ear. "You got it, Princess."

There was a bump against her as a heavyset stallion shoved his way around the seats and into the row in front of them. On his back was a bucket of popcorn nearly as large as he was, some of which spilled onto Twilight as he lowered his immensity into the seat in front of them. Nonplussed, she blew the errant kernels out of her mane and crossed her arms.

"Great," she groused, "what are we supposed to do about this?"

Rainbow hmm'd a moment, hoof tapping against the ground. The preview ended and the next one came on, detailing a heartwarming story about hoofball players fighting against impossible odds.

"I have an idea," she said at length. "Gimme a kiss."

Twilight was somewhat confused, but acceded, turning her head and meeting Rainbow Dash's mouth. Rainbow Dash began to noisily suck on her lips, making exaggerated slurping sounds and moaning passionately. Twilight's wings flared as she quickly got the hint, and added her own noises to the milieu.

The stallion in front of them cleared his throat, shifted in his seat, then finally stood, looking at them with beady, glowering eyes.

"Blergh," he snorted. "Disgraceful."

They watched, giggling anew, as he waddled his bulk a few rows deeper into the theater. Rainbow Dash, grinning, gave Twilight another kiss, then extended her hoof.

"A private area for your theater-going pleasure, m'lady."

Twilight snickered and shook the hoof gallantly. "Why thank you, Lady Rainbow. You are ever so kind."

"Ooh," Rainbow said, eyes turning toward the screen, "it's starting! Get ready!"

Twilight suppressed a naughty squeal, shuffling her wings back down as Rainbow Dash's head disappeared below the level of the seat. The production company's fanfare sounded as Twilight spread her legs and leaned back in the chair. She felt a hoof brush against her knee and quivered. Hot breath rushed out against her groin. She flicked her tail. The movie began.

Twilight stuck her fetlock in her mouth to keep the noise down. Rainbow Dash was nosing at her nethers now, and she closed her eyes, the tingle of contact setting jolts of electricity coursing through her body. Rainbow was very deliberate in her movements, first nose, then tongue, then her entire muzzle plunging inwards. She kept a maddeningly slow pace, very much unlike her, but intended to decrease the possible noise produced by sloppy...

"Ohh, Rainbow," Twilight murmured into her foreleg. Her wingtips vibrated, her tail thrashing against the floor. Rainbow kept a fierce grip on one of her legs, light slurping noises audible as she made sure that every inch of Twilight was getting attention. A particularly well-placed flick of the tongue sent Twilight's eyes opening suddenly.

Twilight was, at that moment, very aware that she was on camera.

Blinking, she leaned forward slightly, ignoring the muffled "Hey!" from between her thighs.

"Oh no..."

"Twilight, what gives?" Rainbow's voice was a harsh whisper.

Twilight sighed, placing both hooves against her eyes. "Do you remember that film thing I did like three months ago?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

Twilight motioned to the screen. Rainbow poked her head up above the back of the seat in front of her.

"Oh wow, you're totally in this movie, Twilight!" She snickered, then her expression soured. "Hey, they got doubles for the rest of us? What the hay? I totally would have been in this movie if they'd asked. That looks nothing like me!"

"Rainbow, keep it down!" Twilight glanced around the theater, noting that at least one mare was glaring at them from across the room. "If we don't finish this, Rarity's going to own both of us for a week!"

"Are you sure you can keep going if you're on screen like that?" Rainbow pouted at her.

"I'll... I'll try." Twilight swallowed. "I'll just keep my eyes closed. That should work!"

"Ooookay..."

Rainbow descended into the shadows once more. Twilight gave a nervous smile to the irritated mare on the other side of the theater, who turned back to the screen.

Twilight was then assaulted by Rainbow's tongue once more. Gasping, she tried desperately to keep a hold of the armrest and not moan too loudly. Her wings unfurled; she was thankful there was nopony behind her.

However, the one thing she could not do was close her eyes. And as she watched, her memories of performing against a green screen were filled in by magical movie trickery. Her face fell as she watched herself step into a mirror that in reality had just been a vertical hoop.

"Oh goddesses..."

"Would you keep it down?" Rainbow hissed. "And quit watching the movie!"

It was too late. Twilight was raptly attending the movie now, face contorting in various shades of horror and disgust as she beheld what happened after she had walked off the set, none the wiser as to her contribution.

"What kind of movie is this?"

"Shh!" It was the mare from before, glaring across the theater. Twilight ignored her.

"What is that thing? Where the heck did they find a creature that looks like that to act in this movie?" Twilight made a face. "Ugh, there's more of them? Why does that one have my hair? She doesn't even sound like me!"

"Twilight," Rainbow said, glowering, "seriously. Cut it out. Remember the bet!"

Twilight groaned, drawing a hoof down her face in exasperation. Rainbow shrugged and took that as a sign to continue, gripping Twilight around the waist and being far less concerned with quietness now. Twilight groused and harrumphed at the screen, eyes dilating and contracting alternately, her wings rustling irritably as she made gestures of exasperation at the movie.

"Why would you even... Oh, who cares about... Ugh, what is going on here?"

The large stallion in front of them made a sound like he was trying to dislodge a pile of rocks from his nasal passages and lumbered out of his seat, moving past them. Rainbow took advantage of the seat displacement to really press up into Twilight. Moans mixed in with her running critique of the movie.

"Why do I haAVE a boyfriend? This--nngh--this high school DRAma is total craOHH!"

Rainbow Dash redoubled her efforts. All she had to do was get her to come...

"The more I s-s-see of this, the moOOOOre I th--hahhh... The more I think this, nnf... This is the worst..."

"Miss?"

"The woORST--"

"Uh, M-Miss? Excuse me?"

Twilight arched her back, enveloping Rainbow Dash with her thighs as her wings flared, smacking against somepony standing nearby.

"Yes!" she cried. "It's the worst movie I've ever SEEN!" With a pained moan of delight, she sank back into her seat, much to Rainbow Dash's relief.

"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the theater."

Twilight's head lolled to the side, so that she could see the pale, pimply unicorn as he paled even more upon getting a good look at her face.

"Um... E-even if you're a Princess, I still, uh..."

"Get out!" yelled the mare from across the room. "Some of us are trying to watch this movie!"

"You should be ashamed," gruffed the stallion from earlier as he loomed behind the usher. "Coming in and disturbing a movie for kids this way!"

Twilight snorted and turned to look at him. "If this garbage is for kids, then what are you doing here?"

The stallion puffed up, harrumphing impotently. Twilight slid out of her seat, then hopped over the back.

"Anyway, this movie is lame and we're done here. C'mon, Rainbow."

Those watching were shocked to see the second mare emerge from between the seats, and continued to stare at them as they exited the theater. Rainbow trotted up next to Twilight, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, we totally won that bet though!"

Twilight snorted.

"The next time a two-bit producer comes around asking me to be in a movie, remind me to send him to the moon." She shook her head. "Equestria Girls. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?"

Author's Note

Arr, no disrespect t' Equestria Girls, on account o' ain't nopony seen it yet. I just be makin' light o' the current situation in the fandom, 's all. Thank ye, Sexty Minute Ponies, fer supplyin' me wi' such a ripe prompt fer the writin'! Ha-harr!

The Ultimate Punishment (Random)

The Ultimate Punishment
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Keeping things fresh even after doing it a hundred times.)

"Somepony set off the magic force field and Trixie intends to punish them!"

Snips and Snails grunted and groaned, pulling the enormous gilded bed-cum-chariot which the Great and Powerful Trixie had decided to be the best method for transportation inside Trixieville.

"That's what she said the last three times!" Snips groused, keeping his voice low.

"Yeah," said Snails, "and it was the same guy the last two times. What's up with that?"

They reached the designated spot, near the town's windmill, and the two teens stopped to catch their breath as Trixie surveyed the area. Sure enough, the only pony other than they was the brutish white pegasus, the one whose muscles seemed to have extra muscles of their own.

"You there!" Trixie called, her voice shrill. "Trixie thinks you look familiar!"

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" the pegasus rumbled, punching the force field. There was a little glow and it repelled his hoof, but he seemed none the worse for it.

"Cease your activities this instant or she will be forced to bring justice upon you!" Trixie raised her whip and cracked it sharply. The pegasus stood, glaring at her, then very gingerly snuck a back hoof out and tapped the force field.

The vein in Trixie's forehead began to pulse.

"Very well! This insolence cannot be tolerated any longer!"

Crack! Crack! The whip struck again and again, snapping across the pegasus' chiseled jaw. He retreated from the assault, the slack-jawed grimace never leaving his face. Once Trixie was satisfied that he was far enough away from the force field, she cracked her whip to drive her two chauffeurs ahead.

The pegasus only grinned.

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"

"It has been but minutes since this last happened," Trixie declared, staring down at the white pegasus. They were near the library where the accursed Twilight Sparkle had lived before her exile, but which now stood vacant. Again, the brute was tapping the force field as if daring Trixie to do something about it. "Trixie is beginning to think you wish to be punished."

The only response from the pegasus was the raising of his eyebrows and another mighty right hook to the force field.

Growling, Trixie raised herself up. "This time, Trixie shall teach you a lesson you will not likely forget! On your knees, worm!"

A beam of red light shot from Trixie's horn and kicked the pegasus's back legs out from under him. His chin hit the ground, digging a furrow into it. She then began cracking her whip over his hide, leaving red welts across the pristine if lumpy white flesh of his back. With each strike, his eyes seemed to roll back in his head and his grin grew wider.

"There!" she exclaimed after a good dozen lashings. "That should teach you! Now be off with you!"

When the pegasus remained unmoving for a few seconds, Trixie humphed and set her slaves to dragging her chariot away.

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"

The next time was near the old well. He got a severe pinch under his forelegs for that.

Then in the eastern fields, and a few more lashings.

Then near the former Mayor's house, with telekinetic wing-plucking.

Each time, Trixie's frown grew and grew. She was beginning to suspect, truly, that this pegasus wanted nothing more than to be punished and hurt continually. It might have had something to do with his reaction to each instance, a single bellow of "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" that mystified her.

"Hmph," she said to herself as she caught him, looking just a tad more bruised than before, poking at the force field near the park. "Trixie will simply have to up her game."

First she materialized a diaper and bonnet, dressed him in them, and proceeded to spank him with magic.

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"

She wrapped him in a lacy black corset and high-heeled horseshoes, then made a camera with which to take photos. He seemed all too eager to vogue for her.

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"

She trussed him up like a pig and stuck an apple in his mouth, leaving him to rot by the schoolhouse.

"YMMMMPPPFFFF!"

Whipping. Magical lightning. Blunt force trauma. Head-shrinking spells. It seemed that no matter what she did, there was no way to deter this pegasus from interrupting her plans. It got to the point where he wasn't even waiting for her to leave before ripping free from whatever bonds she had created around him and poking at the force field again, drawing her ire.

Trixie was beginning to get tired. She couldn't let it show, of course, but this rigamarole was taking a severe toll on her, both mentally a physically. Not to mention watching this lumpy beast suffer humiliation after humiliation had lost its charm and was never exactly pretty to begin with.

At last, Trixie decided she had had enough. Leaping from her perch on high, she confronted the pegasus as he prodded the force field where it intersected the stream.

"You! What is wrong with you? Trixie is beginning to think you like being punished! She demands an explanation for this at once!"

"Will you punish me if I don't answer?" His voice was like a river made of gravel burbling and crackling as it flowed over more gravel. It was also extremely loud.

Trixie thought for a moment. "No. Just... tell me why you're putting me through all of this nonsense!"

"I do like gettin' punished," he replied, slamming one hoof into the other. "It's been a long time since I had a good strong punishment, Miss Trixie! Nopony 'round these parts wants to do that for me, so I'm stuck feelin' unfulfilled, y'know? But then I hear you say you'll punish anypony who messes with yer force field, and I just had to take the chance, right? I've been havin' a lot of fun today!"

Trixie's expression went through a series of contortions, from shock to disgust to abject terror.

"W-well, in that case, Trixie changes her mind. You have been punished enough." She lit her horn, lifting the force field just a bit. "You are free to go!"

The pegasus's yellow eyes got large and watery. "Aw, c'mon, Great and Powerful Trixie!" He fell to his knees, holding his hooves together. "Won't you at least punish me one more time?"

"Trixie is finding new punishments hard to come up with..."

"Anything, please!" He wrung his hooves, scooting towards her on his knees. "Just one more and then I'll stop, I promise!"

Trixie lowered the force field and sighed. Only one more method of punishment for this large, dumb pony came to mind, and it was not something that even she, as powerful as she was, was willing to subject foals to.

"Snips! Snails! Take a break!"

A huge anvil appeared over top of them, falling and smashing them flat. Trixie then created a large fan to blow them off into the distance. Their screams intermixed with cries of gratitude.

"Fools," she muttered to herself. Then, with a haughty sniff and a glare, she turned to the white pegasus, still sitting up and begging.

"Very well then. Retire with Trixie to her boudoir."

The pegasus grinned. "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Trixie was afraid you'd say that." She rolled her eyes, levitating them both up onto the giant gold-posted bed.

The pegasus got on all fours, trying and failing to make himself look smaller. "I'm ready now, Great and Powerful Trixie."

Trixie grimaced. "Just answer Trixie one more question: why do you like these punishments so much?"

The pegasus gave her a sly grin, which was not much different from his normal rictus grin. "Well, Trixie, it ain't easy to damage these here muscles." He flexed his hooves and somewhere a bird exploded. "So I can take a lot of punishment. Plus, after all the pills I've taken, uh, well, the ol' stallion noodle ain't what it used to be."

Unfortunately for Trixie, he turned his rump toward her and showed her precisely what he meant. Trixie covered her mouth, feeling sick.

"'Noodle' is quite an appropriate word for it." If she was going to get rid of this idiot, though, there was only thing for it. "Very well. On your back, knave, Trixie shall teach you the meaning of the word pain!"

She began almost immediately, conjuring a dozen whips and striking him all over his body. He moaned in ecstasy. She made large hoof cuffs materialize and secure his limbs to the bedposts. A mask kept his jaw secured, though it didn't stop him from talking.

"Yes! Yes! O Great and Powerful Trixie, punish me! Punish me!"

"Indeed." Trixie stood over him and called on the whips to cease their action. Then she lowered herself atop his waist, rubbing her crotch against his.

It was not altogether unpleasant, though she dearly wished he were a real stallion 'down there'. She did not let him penetrate her, only rubbing against his tiny length, which quickly grew hard beneath her ministrations. In the meantime, she amused herself with hot wax, acupuncture needles, razor blades, and anything else she could think of that would cause pain to her captive.

"More, moooore!"

"Trixie wants you to beg!" Despite herself, Trixie was getting into her role. "Beg for more!"

"Yes, Great and Powerful Trixie!" He was panting, the muscles of his chest heaving. "Whip me, beat me! Treat me like a little filly! I'm worthless, I'm nothing, I'm just a plaything for you, O Trixie! Do it some more, please!"

"Trixie likes the way you grovel." She gave him a sly grin, then raised herself up, hovering over him. His eyes grew wide as she held herself in place, his wee willy flopping madly as he tried to shake free of his bonds.

"Wait, wait, what are you doing? I'm so close!"

Trixie added extra chains to his restrains, polishing her hoof on her chest. "Trixie is giving you the ultimate punishment, knave."

She watched him squirm and writhe, watched as the pins pierced his flesh and ice cubes sent runnels of cold water over his flanks. He thrashed and groaned, crying out loud enough to shake the bed. Trixie let out a peal of laughter that would have made any grade-A villainess proud.

"RAAAAAARGH!" the pegasus shouted. "This is the worst punishment of all time! You're really the greatest and most powerfulest!"

"How nice of you to say so," Trixie said coolly. She moved to the side. "As a reward for realizing Trixie's power..."

With the tip of her hoof, she touched the base of his stallionhood very gently. He did not so much come as paint the roof of the bed solid white.

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"

With a tremendous hoot of exhaustion, he collapsed backward, going still, his eyes closing as his permanent grin turned into a soft smile of relief.

Trixie stuck out her tongue, making a gagging noise as she surveyed the remains of her bed. With a thought, she undid all the restraints, then booted the burly pegasus out, letting the stream carry him away.

At that moment, Snips and Snails floated back on the breeze towards her. When they lit upon the ground, they popped back into shape, staggering about with little stars over their heads. Trixie made herself presentable once more, then drew forth her whip.

"Snips! Snails! Front and center!"

"Yes ma'am!" they chorused, standing at attention and saluting.

"Go and uproot the town windmill for Trixie's next chariot. She will need to burn her bed."

The two colts looked at each other, shrugged, and then scampered off to do Trixie's bidding when her whip cracked.

"Why d'ya think Trixie ain't caught on that we're collaboratin' under her nose?" Applejack asked after Fluttershy finished relaying Twilight's plan to them.

"She's not exactly the sharpest needle in the drawer," Rarity remarked.

"Mmm mm mmmmm!" said Pinkie.

"Good one, Pinkster!" Rainbow Dash said with a chuckle.

Fluttershy shrugged. "Maybe she has too much to pay attention to with a whole city to run. Oh, but she was nice enough to lift the force field for me so I could get back inside."

The others turned to look at her, caused her to shrink back from them.

Rarity cocked an eyebrow. "She did what?"

"W-well... She didn't see me coming or anything. B-but, it lifted up and I was able to get back in with the plan..."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchanged glances and shrugs.

"Guess you got lucky, Fluttershy," Rainbow remarked.

"Let's not question good fortune," Rarity suggested.

Applejack thought about it a second, then shook her head. "Well, don't that beat all."

Author's Note

This be one o' my silly "cloppable moments", from Magic Duel. How's Trixie's expectin' t' shout about punishin' ponies widdout some masochist or 'nother takin' 'er up on the challenge, eh?

Thanks t' Pascoite fer suggestin' ol' Roidy here t'be the one gettin' punished. I thought 'e were proper hilarious! And thanks t' Sexty Minute Ponies fer one hundred prompts o' sauciness! Here's to a hundred more, yar-harr!

Reflexes (Romance/Tragedy/Slice of Life)

Reflexes
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: Rainbow Dash learns a lesson.)

The best part about kissing Rainbow Dash was that she tasted like clouds.

No, not like candy. That was a cruel rumor circulating around Ponyville, and was more than likely truer about Pinkie Pie at any rate.

Rainbow's mouth was cool and clean, with a slight dusty flavor like rainwater and sunshine. It was the taste of soaring high over Equestria, of fast winds whipping at one's mane, of frolicking in puddles during a rainstorm. Most of all, Rainbow Dash tasted like freedom, and that was what Applejack loved about her most of all. With Rainbow by her side, she didn't have to fear anything. She could do anything she set her mind to. The sky was the limit, which was why she felt ready to take their relationship to the next stage.

She looked into Rainbow's eyes as they broke the kiss, a slight bead of saliva dangling between them.

"Now, Rainbow, ya say yer completely sure about what yer doin', right?"

Rainbow smiled. "Relax, AJ. You're in good hooves. I wouldn't do anything to you you didn't want me to."

"It's just..." Applejack's eyes dropped to the side. "I've never... Even with a stallion..."

"Shh, shh." Rainbow pressed her hoof gently against Applejack's lips. "Don't worry, I've got everything under control. You'll enjoy yourself, or my name's not Rainbow Dash."

Applejack swallowed, but nodded. The mix of uncertainty and excitement filled her with a tense exhilaration. Then Rainbow kissed the side of her neck, and all that nervous energy flooded straight into the area between her legs.

"Ohh, Rainbow..."

Rainbow giggled and pushed at her shoulder gently. Applejack took the hint, lying back on her bed. Rainbow's weight atop her was soft and warm, and actually not as weighty as she'd anticipated. Light kisses trailed down her barrel and Applejack suddenly found herself without much to do in return. Feeling slightly put upon, she took one of Rainbow's hooves between hers and kissed it gently. It tugged back almost immediately and Rainbow looked up at her.

"Hooves, remember? No touchie."

"Oh." Heat flooded Applejack's cheeks. "Sorry. Just don't have anythin' to do."

Rainbow smiled. "You lay there and enjoy it, silly. And pay attention. After all, it'll be your turn to do this next."

Applejack licked her lips and nodded, feeling a fluttering in her chest. Rainbow spread her hind legs gently, kissing and nuzzling just above her most sensitive spot. The waiting was starting to drive her nuts.

"Oh, Rainbow..."

"You like that, hmm?" Rainbow grinned devilishly. "Mm, you smell good. Let's see how you taste, farmpony..."

The first warm strokes of Rainbow Dash's tongue sent Applejack's hips straight up into the air. This did not deter Rainbow at all, thankfully, and she set about suckling and licking softly.

"Oh mah stars! Oh Rainbow!"

Rainbow positioned Applejack's legs over her own shoulders and plunged her muzzle in. Each motion was targeted perfectly, each lap or nuzzle sending electric shivers of icy heat all through her body. She scrabbled at the sheets, arched her back, and cried out in ecstasy.

"Oh Celestia! Oh Princesses! Oh Rainbow Dash, oh!"

She looked down as the wonderful sensations paused. Rainbow was looking at her, one eyebrow raised.

"You sure are talkative," she murmured, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "And loud. Not worried about your family hearing?"

"I don't care!" Applejack licked her lips, panting to catch her breath. "Consarnit, RD, just don't stop, please!"

Rainbow grinned and resumed her attentions, hooves pressing up against Applejack's belly and mussing her coat, not that she minded at all. With Rainbow's expert tongue, Applejack was quickly nearing a climax. The building pressure was just amazing. Just a little longer, and she would--

Four things happened all at once, and she couldn't really tell in what order.

There was a buzzing sound between her legs, like blowing a raspberry.

There was a wooden crash from across the room.

Applejack had the most intense orgasm of her admittedly brief sexual life.

Her hind leg kicked out with applebucking ferocity.

When she was finally able to lift her head from the bed, it was only to see Rainbow Dash upside-down against the dresser she kept her fancy duds in, blood streaming from her nose down into her eyes.

"Oh no, Rainbow!" The pleasure Applejack had been experiencing quickly turned into cold terror. She rushed to the pegasus's side and tried to right her without damaging her further. "Rainbow, say somethin'!"

"Um fthine," Rainbow muttered, spitting out a tooth. "Juff thine."

She rolled awkwardly to her hooves and staggered. Applejack held on to her, trying to keep her from wobbling into more furniture.

"Rainbow, I'm so sorry! I dunno what happened! One minute you were treatin' me so nice, and the next... It musta just been on reflex!"

Rainbow shook her head as if trying to remove water from her mane. Her words came slowly, deliberately, and with random changes in tone. "'Sokay, AJ. Gilda did me worse. Usually on purpose. I'll be okahgggghhh..."

"You'd best lie down afore you hurt yourself, Rainbow." Nearly in tears, Applejack led Rainbow carefully to the bed and helped her into it. She hesitated a moment before joining her there, wrapping all four legs around her and squeezing her.

"Not gonna do that again," Rainbow mumbled. "Or next time I'll give ya a warnin' first..."

"What'd you do?"

Rainbow shifted around, turning to face her. "I buzzed you. It usually gets the mares where they wanna go. And it looks like it worked. Maybe a little too well."

"I love you, Rainbow," Applejack whispered. She closed her eyes and kissed Rainbow on the nose, eliciting a soft hiss of pain which she immediately regretted. "I'm so sorry. You know I don't wanna hurt ya."

"I know," Rainbow said, and chuckled quietly. "Looks like you beat me in reaction time, huh?" She gave Applejack a gap-toothed grin, which she couldn't help but laugh at.

"I feel awful though."

"Well, you'll get to make it up to me soon." Rainbow grinned. "Hope you paid attention."

Applejack smiled. "You bet, sugarcube."

Cloudsdalium (Comedy)

Cloudsdalium
by Shivered Timbers

(Prompt: "Now kiss." Written in 69 minutes, but that wasn't enough to get to the clop. This may be remedied in the future! Thanks to kits for the story suggestion.)

The best part of working in Cloudsdale as a unicorn was not the breathtaking cloud architecture, the soaring and athletic pegasus inhabitants, or even the constant rainbows overhead, heralding constant perfect weather. It was the knowledge that, should she falter in her step or neglect to cast her spell in the morning before climbing out of bed, Rarity would fall to her death.

She had done this once before, years ago, through a combination of fragile spells, poor timing and sheer selfish grandstanding. It had been a most harrowing experience, one that she was not interested in repeating, yet the knowledge that that fall was so close at hoof, every hour of every day, set the tiniest of thrills in her heart and kept her blood pounding.

Of course, some of the athletic, muscular, virile pegasus inhabitants helped with that second part as well. She no longer trusted to magical wings forged from gossamer and morning dew, but the occasional pegasus-assisted flight was a thrill she was loath to pass up. Landing the head costume designer's job with the Wonderbolts, due in no small part to her friendship with newest member Rainbow Dash, had been a dream come true, and Rarity had found, to her amazement, that did in fact possess a small streak of daring, one that she had never been able to exercise upon the ground.

It was this daring that led her to the proposition she was about to suggest to Rainbow Dash, sitting in the stool next to her at downtown Cloudsdale's most prominent juice bar.

"I don't want to say it," Rainbow Dash had been saying, "not out loud, because I'm afraid if I do, it'll become true."

"You can tell me, Rainbow Dash." Rarity had opened one eye as she sipped her guava blend. "It shall not pass my lips thereafter!"

Rainbow Dash had sighed, made as if to take a drink from her glass, passed it back and forth between her hooves, and sighed again.

"I just feel like this isn't working out. Like all my life, all my dreams, have been for absolutely nothing."

Rarity had stayed quiet, but watched her friend intently.

"I made it in," Rainbow had continued, focusing on something indistinct behind the bar, "and some part of me says that's all I ever wanted. I mean, I proved to everypony how good I am. I'm here. Maybe that's enough." She tipped her glass up and downed the rest in one long gulp.

"Rainbow, if it isn't your performance that's faltered, then what, pray tell, is bothering you?"

The glass had left an orange ring on Rainbow's lips and a circular indentation on the cloud counter. "Promise not to tell? Not anypony at all?"

"I have already promised," Rarity had huffed, "but I shall recite the Pinkie promise if it makes you feel better."

Rainbow had shaken her head. "No, that's fine. It's... Ugh, I can't believe I'm having this issue, but...

"See, I met a couple of the Wonderbolts before joining. You know that: Spitfire, Soarin', Fleetfoot. Always at fancy events or while saving the world or something. And I didn't get to know them really at all, sure, but we seemed to get along. Now that I'm part of the team, though..."

She'd turned to Rarity then, eyes intense and hard. "Rarity, I'm just not getting along with my teammates. And I mean bad, in all kinds of ways."

"Do tell."

"We argue. All the time. About everything. Spitfire's the worst, but Soarin' and I nearly came to blows once. They argue with each other, too, so it's not like I'm being singled out, but as the new kid and all..." She'd groaned and leaned back in her chair, covering her eyes. "It's like that first Grand Galloping Gala all over again: not what I imagined."

That was when Rarity's ever-so-daring idea had come to mind. Yet this was a friend she was talking to: one could not simply blurt out such ideas at the first thought.

"What sorts of arguments do you have?"

"I dunno. All of them. What we're wearing, who flies in what wing, where to sleep, what to eat. Spitfire gets offended sometimes at what I say. Half the time, I think she's just making it up."

Rarity nodded. "How does that make you feel?"

Rainbow turned to her, looking like she'd swallowed a bug. "How do you think I feel? I feel awful! I really... I mean, I want them to like me, right? Is that so much to ask?"

Rarity put a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder, and the pegasus seemed to get the hint. She turned her head and smiled apologetically to a couple at a booth before turning back.

"Sorry for shouting. But really, don't you think that, if we're going to fly like a well-oiled machine, we need to get along like one when we're not flying?"

"That does sound most logical, and I think you're right," Rarity said.

Rainbow thumped her head onto the bar, and it sank slowly into the cloud, which muffled her wailing. "What am I gonna do?"

Rarity took a deep breath. "Rainbow, I am going to phrase this very intentionally, so that you understand the gravity of what I am suggesting:

"You need to fuck."

Judging by the volume and duration of her coughing, Rainbow must have inhaled at least three snootfuls of cloud. The couple behind them shouted an obscenity, dropped a tip on the table, and flew off. Rarity took the opportunity to scrape her tongue against her upper teeth and swallow the last of her juice, to get the taste of the word out of her mouth.

"What? You can't be serious!"

"I am dreadfully serious." Rarity readjusted herself on the stool, to look more prim. "Rainbow, it so happens that I've had opportunity to speak with Spitfire about these... incidents, and I have come to the conclusion that you two need to work out the sexual frustrations which so obviously exist between you. Obvious to everyone but you and Spitfire, that is."

Rainbow's mouth was beginning to attract flies. Rarity smiled and continued.

"Soarin', for instance, only ever crosses you because he is defending Spitfire. They are very close friends, you understand, so it's a perfectly natural reaction. But the gist of it all is, if you can open up these wounds with the alpha female -- an alpha female, I should add, whose position you are distinctly threatening, being an alpha yourself -- and divest yourselves of all the baggage, why, I daresay the Wonderbolts will become a well-oiled machine both on and off the concourse!"

Rarity's smile took on a polished edge of mania. Rainbow's upper lip twitched, first on the left and then on the right.

"Rarity."

"Yes?"

"Just told me."

"I did."

"To have sex with Spitfire."

"The very same."

"Rarity said this."

"We have been over this already."

"My friend Rarity."

"That is I!" Rarity surreptitiously kicked Rainbow in the shin, which seemed to snap her out of her torpor. "Honestly, Rainbow Dash, just try suggesting it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"No fucking way!"

Had the wall of the lunchroom not been made of cloud, the hoofstool that struck it would have splintered into quite a lot of flying shrapnel, possibly damaging some of the room's occupants. As it was, it simply stuck two-thirds of the way into the cloud, enough to deform the outer wall of the Wonderbolts' training compound.

"I will not... have anything to do... with that bitchy little upstart... you fucking insane horn-head!" Spitfire could barely get two curses out edgewise without having to stop to catch her breath. Or throw another piece of furniture.

"Please, try to understand," Rarity wheedled, dodging a tennis racket, "I'm only suggesting this out of concern for you and your team. It would be like letting the air out of an over-inflated balloon."

"Or letting the pressure off a steam cooker!" Soarin' added, narrowly avoiding the dumbbell aimed at his head.

"You and food," Spitfire growled. "Celestia damn it all to Tartarus, Rarity, you are fucking sick in the head, and that's all I'm going to say!"

The hole in the wall informed them that Spitfire had exited the room at top speed. A small trail of fire in the air helpfully pointed out the precise path that she had taken. Rarity and Soarin' looked at one another and shrugged.

"Well, that went over like a lead pegasus," he said. "What are you gonna do now?"

Rarity's eyes narrowed. Her mouth scrunched over to the left side of her face. Soarin' took a step back. He had known her just long enough to fear that expression.

"I'm going to get mean," she said.

Over the next three days, the Wonderbolts' training compound was besieged by numerous strange and inexplicable happenstances.

Rainbow Dash and Spitfire mysteriously had their towels switched.

Chocolate, figs, and other aphrodisiacs curiously showed up on the menu for all three meals.

Copies of Playmare, Playcolt, Cosmoponitan and Hoofers showed up under the beds of every team member. Some were even clean.

Voices of the best opera singers in Equestria could be heard singing in strange languages about love and romance at all hours.

"I know what you're doing," Spitfire growled to Soarin' as they passed each other in the hall.

"I dunno what you mean, Spits!" His sincerity was undercut by a nervous laugh.

"If you think that fucking her will--"

"Oh, gosh, look at the time!" Soarin' pointed to his empty pastern. "Half past sex! I mean six! I mean five!" He zipped off down the hall, sweating profusely.

Things came to a head at the next team meeting, in preparation for a show at the annual Fillydelphia Air Festival.

Spitfire stalked into the meeting room, its two dozen seats occupied by the dozen members of the team and Rarity, scowled the projector into place, growled at the film until it began, and sulked through the countdown as the shaky celluloid fought a losing battle to keep its video and audio from synching up.

"Safe sex and you!" declared the cheerful announcer. "An educational film from Canterlot--"

The explosion was either the sound of the projector being crushed beneath Spitfire's hoof, or of her blowing her top. Nopony could really be sure.

"Uh," mumbled Rapid Fire, tentatively raising his hoof, "what was that all about?"

Spitfire pointed at Rarity. "You! I am gonna kick your flank so hard, your grandchildren will feel it!"

Instantly, the room was in chaos. The team members who hadn't been in on the plot -- Rapid Fire would later admit he appreciated the magazines, but preferred colts -- sprang into the air, trying to figure out what was going on. Spitfire charged forward, being held back by both Rainbow Dash and Soarin', while Rarity sat comfortably in her cloud chair, beaming radiantly forward as though nothing out of the ordinary were happening.

"You are a jerk for helping her all this time, Soarin'!" Spitfire yelled, struggling against her teammates. The other Wonderbolts, panicking, promptly took sides, but as they had no idea what they were siding for or against, there ended up being at least four separate sides in the room, and chaos reigned once more.

"I'm with Spitfire, Soarin's a flankhole!"

"I'm with Soarin', don't attack Rarity!"

"I'm with Rarity, she made me the best scarf!"

"I think I'm with Fleet Foot, but I'm not sure where she went!"

"Just calm down, Spits!" Soarin' grunted, managing to get the upper hoof on Spitfire and pin her to the ground. "You got the hint, I take it?"

"Yes!"

"Then do something about it already!"

Rarity cleared her throat. Despite how tiny the noise seemed in the infinite madness of questions, shouts and accusations that filled the room, it had the effect of immediately drawing everypony's attention and getting them to calm the fuck down.

"Captain Spitfire, with all due respect, the problem is thus: you and Rainbow Dash have... issues, shall we say, which are preventing your team from acting in harmony."

Spitfire snorted. "So what? We always squabble, even before she came on board."

"I understand this. However, the issue goes far beyond simple arguments or friendly jibes." Rarity stood and held up her hoof. "Dear Wonderbolts, if you'll humor your designer for a moment, how many of you think that Rainbow Dash and Spitfire should take effort to smooth over their sexual tensions?"

Every hoof not belonging to Spitfire or Rainbow Dash went up.

"Well then," Rarity said, and finished her sentence with a smile.

"I hate you all," Spitfire said, her voice tiny.

Somepony bumped Rainbow Dash from behind, and she lurched forward, lips pressing to Spitfire's. A whistle and then a cheer went up in the room as the impromptu kiss quickly became intense face-sucking. After a solid minute, they separated, gasping for breath, beads of saliva hanging between them.

"My room or yours?" Rainbow panted.

"Mine."

They were off in two flashes.

Rarity smirked to Soarin' as the other Wonderbolts whooped and then began placing bets while following the rainbow-and-fire streaks to listen in on the happenings. After the room was empty, Rarity sat back down, stretched, and took a deep breath.

"Another successful matchmaking event from yours truly," Rarity said, and closed her eyes. She felt a hoof on her shoulder.

"So, uh, Rarity," Soarin' said slowly, "I been wondering, uh..."

Rarity's left eye creaked open. "Yes, Soarin'?"

"Well, let's, uh..." Soarin' cleared his throat. "What with all this sex talk going around the place lately, I, uh, I kind of..."

Rarity blinked in surprise. "With me?"

Soarin' could only nod.

She sniffed haughtily. "My dear Soarin', I am not some cheap floozy who will 'put out', as they say, to any handsome face which comes knocking."

"I'll buy ya dinner after. I know this great place down on--"

He was stopped by Rarity pressing her mouth to his. She held on for somewhat shorter a time than what had happened just moments ago, but Soarin' was no less shocked or turned on for the brevity.

"We have some sexual tensions of our own to work out," she murmured, and grinned at him.

"My room or yours?"

"Mine."