A brown stallion made his away across the scorching deserts of southern Equestria. He trudged along his poncho fluttering gently in the hot desert wind. His horn glowed a faint tannish color, and held his black boonie hat in place. Even a hundred and ninety years ago before the pony zebra war this ground was forsaken wasteland. Somehow the desert was still hot as hell despite the sun being hidden by an eternal layer of clouds. Behind him the blue colt that he traveled with was fairing better using the larger pony as a source of complete shade. Two Bit didn't hold it against the colt besides, one should always find relief when one could. That and the fact that Half Hazard was the reason for the early return to civilization or at least the third to next best thing. Even Two Bit never thought about the profitability of pickpocketing Steel Rangers.
"Hey Two Bit, where are we going New Appelloosa is behind us?" The blank flank colt eyed the older unicorns water jug.
"No you don't you little gite." Two Bit growled following the colts eyes to the only source of water in easily ten miles. The colt returned the growl and turned his head. "Besides there'll be pleny of water where we're going." The colt's gaze returned full of curiosity, but the Two Bit didn't say anymore.
"Listen Two Bit, we ain't doing that slave scam again. That last time they didn't put me in a mine you know."
"Yea, sorry about that." Two Bit nodded. "But you'd best listen boyo; I bought you. You are my slave, and you'll do what I tell you."
"Yeah well the next time you try it. I'll tell everypony it's just a sell and run scam."
"You're tough colt Half Hazard, but nopony, stallion, colt, mare, or filly, ever talked when they had a hole in their head." To elaborate his point Two Bit's gently tapped the young colt on his head with the butt of his pistol.
"Yeah, well the next time they start marching me to a brothel instead of anywhere else I'll start talking." Half Hazard grumbled to himself. "I don't want my cutie mark to be anything involving that."
"Ah well you might change you're mind afta to night." Half Hazard glared at his owner. "Cause we going to Vice, and since you did such a good job with them Steel Rangers. I'm gonna give ya little play money. Pick you're vices well Hazard and you'll have a nice good night, but you go and buy a gun or knife and I'll bet your ass." Half Hazard's eyes lit up at the prospect at an fun time, especially in an Equestrian Wasteland wonderland.
***
The two of them arrived at the gates of Vice at the perfect time, just as the sun started to set throwing the cloud layer into shades of red and orange instead of the usual grey. Many of the city fires had already been started tenting the city in a hellish red tint. The smoke rose from every street of the town up to the cloud curtain.
"Here you go you little giter." Two Bit gave Half Hazard a hundred caps. "Don't spend it all in one place now." Half Hazard just stood dumbly as he looked in to the bag of caps that Two Bit had given him. It was easily four times the amount that he had been bought for.
"M-Master." Two Bit paused at unusual formality.
"What?"
"This is a lot of caps."
"Ha, don't think anything of it, you little gite." Two Bit rustled the colt's mane. "I'd be the worst master in Southern Equestria if I didn't give you a decent reward. Those energy and plasma weapons will sell for twenty times that easy. Now go have some fun, and enjoy your vices." Two Bit laughed as he headed into Vice.
"Ha thanks Two Bit!" Half Hazard ran into Vice heading for the pleasure district. Hazard Galloped down the streets of Vice to the center of town. Vice was one of the only settlements in Equestria with a water talisman, meaning that water was free here in Vice, and after trotting forty miles through the desert, he was thirsty. He slammed his head into the town fountain, and took in as many gulps as he could before pulling his head out to breathe.
"Oh yes." Half Hazard slid down the side of the fountain, and belched. "Pure water that's the stuff." His eyes followed the glowing neon lights and the trash fires into the Drug Districts of Vice. For the first time in five weeks he was going to get his fix. "First things first VONNOPS won't work as good without some visual stimuli." He looked over at an XXX store. Smiling the colt trotted over. "This place will work."
***
Half Hazard trotted out of the store forty caps lighter with two issues of Pegasus Wingers. He loved the exoticness of the pegasi, and because he wasn't aloud to browse, he hoped there'd be one or two blue coats the two that he bought, though he'd take a red coat or a gentle grey coat too. He headed down the street to the drug dealers.
"Hey colt get over here I got Mentats." Half Hazard rolled his eyes.
"No Thanks." He knew well enough the dangers of Mentats, Med-X, Hydra, and the like. All of them were addictive. All of them had withdraw effects, and worse of all, all of them cost a caps. Caps that a slave like him couldn't hope to get, and as soon as he got an addiction Two Bit would sell him, and it would be for real. Something Half Hazard really didn't want. There was however a very special drug that he liked that didn't have any of those negative draw backs.
"Come on little colt don't walk away tell Uncle Fix what your fix is I've got it."
"Sure, I want a chemical cocktail of norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, nitric oxide, and it needs the active chemical compound to be prolactin." Half Hazard said without skipping a beat.
"Don't be an asshole kid, prolactin is a hormone, colt not a chemical compound, and yes Uncle's got some VONNOPS."
"Great I'll take five, and you can't be to safe." He put forty caps on the table.
"For forty caps I'll give you three and no more."
"Deal hoof them over." The drug dealer smiled as he passed the blue colt three hypodermic needles. Half Hazard licked his lips this was going to be the best night ever. He was tempted to just inject the cocktail in an alleyway and enjoy the pretty pegasi in the magazines he had just bought, but there was one last thing he wanted to buy, and hopefully Two Bit wouldn't tan his hide for it. He headed straight for the weapon shop that he had passed by on the way in.
"Hey there kid, The names Hot Lead, I've got guns, bombs, melee of all kinds. If I don't have it I'll find it." Half Hazard was taken back by the sheer size of the weapon shop. His eyes instinctually picking out the high price items many of which Two Bits had, had on him only an hour ago. "So colt how can I help you?"
"I want a sling shot!" With the biggest smile he'd ever had, Half Hazard threw his last twenty caps on the counter. Ever since they he and Two Bit had visited Dice he had wanted a slingshot. Now was his first and maybe last chance to get one.
"Uh a sling shot?" Half Hazard bobbed his head up and down as fast as he could. "Uh right, okay colt, just you stay there I'll need to check my inventory." After five minutes Hot Lead returned with a stipe of leather.
"Hey what are you trying to pull I want a sling shot not a leather gag."
"First off kid this is a Zebra war sling, and two it is can be used as a multi purpose bondage device shoot just put a rubber ball in it and it instantly transforms from strip gag to ball gag. Not that I would know of course." Hot Lead looked the sling over. "Though if you did that it would wear away at the leather so I'd advice against that."
"Don't try and trick me. A sling has a handle and is made of a stick." To answer Hot Lead put a small rubber ball in the thickest part of the leather swung it around and let it loose. The ball bounced off of several armored dummies. Then, rolled gently back to the waiting stallion and awestruck colt.
"Sure the colt and filly version does but this is the real deal kid. And I'll even throw in the rubber stun ball, and a couple of metal shots."
"Really?!" Hot Lead nodded. "Thanks."
"Sure just do yourself a favor boyo. Don't turn that into a gag while high on VONNOPS. You'll gnaw right through the leather and it'll be useless."
"Right no gags while high." Half Hazard's head bobbed up and down again, his stupid grin plastered on his face.
"Nothing like a colt and his first projectile based weapon. It's days like today I'm glad I deal in lethal ordinances." Hot Lead chuckled and sighed.
Half Hazard walked down the streets of Vice looking for the perfect little hiding place for him while he shot up and get busy. Only problem was that Vice wasn't known for being a safe town for doing that in. Fortunately he found an abandoned house just on the inside of the wall. The only way in was though a small hole that he could only enter without his bag even then it was a tight fit. As soon as he was in he pulled his bag in after him. The house was empty and after making sure that none of the dust was disturbed he pulled out all of his goodies and began searching for the pegasus that would take him to cloud nine. Soon he found her, a pale blue pegasus with a darker blue mane. Monotone and blue, and just the right body type. He was starting to get off even with out his drugs. He quickly took the thick strap of his bag and gaged himself. He might be relatively safe, but he was not quite, and he certainly didn't want to call attention to himself in this town especially while doing what he was about to be doing. He injected the chemical cocktail into himself and waited while he looked down at the pretty pegasus mare. Soon his body was moving automatically and rhythmically. The world faded into an euphoric haze. Slowly at first and then all at once as he whizzed past cloud nine.
***
"Ehhhh." Half Hazard slowly came down from the aphrodisiac. He groaned as he lay sprawled out on the floor. His body both completely numb and tingling at the same time. He soon found the strength to grab the other magazine and find a page with only text on both sides. He tore it out. He found another one and another and did the same. He started cleaning up his mess with the three pages. He'd want to see the pretty blue pegasus again. Slowly feelings came back and he noticed a real pain in his jaw, and he noticed the gnash marks on his saddle bag. Hot Lead was right if he had used his new sling then it would have been totally wreaked. Suddenly a knocking a the door made his ears stand straight up. He quickly distressed as a pattern became apparent.
"Hey gite unbar the door come on." Half Hazard groaned but did as master told him to. He was still to far gone for the normal complaints about the tracking device in his sack. "Wow, looks like you have been busy my little friend. Looks like you had fun for the night, and most of the morning."
"Yeah."
"Sorry buddy but we've got to go those guns had trackers and the Steel Rangers are in town, and I don't want to be here when they find out about all the energy weapons and the water talisman. Grab your things ya little giter and lets go."
"Yeah." He grabbed his stuff and put it in the small saddle bag.
"You have fun?"
"Best night ever."
"Glad to hear." Two Bit smiled. "Do you want another one like it?" Half Hazard nodded. Two Bit's grin grew. "If you want more nights like last night you'll get master Two Bit more caps. You're going to work harder to get me more caps now aren't you?"
"Yes Master Two Bit," the colt answered with a nod.
"Great now let's go and make me rich." The sound of an explosion roared through the town of Vice. "And get the heck out of here. Come on Half Hazard, let's go!"
