The Royal Canterlot Kindergarten always had been, and always would be, full of brutes. No matter how fancy you made the name, or how much you dolled it up, the fact of the matter was that it would always be the absolute dregs of the upper class population, filled to the brim with foalish foals who would never be able to hold onto their families’ fortunes.
If Twilight Sparkle’s magic kindergarten had been even half as bad as Diamond Tiara’s experiences there, the pink filly supposed the princess had every right to be traumatized by her experience. The only reason she’d dared venture there in the first place had been because her father was opening up a new Barnyard Bargains superstore in Equestria’s capital, and all the private schools were already full for the year.
For many ponies, Canterlot symbolized everything Equestria ought to be—sparkling and noble in every sense of the word. But for Diamond Tiara, it symbolized everything she ran away from, and it was the one place where such a powerful filly risked the possibility of being bullied.
Her still-developing brain had blocked out most of the memories, but there had been one colt in particular who would always come out to torture her. Of course, the things he would do were nothing compared to what she would come to do to others, but they still burned in her mind every now and then, reminding her of what she could go back to. She’d rewind to him throwing her in the mud, teasing her, telling her she was useless, every time she ever considered disobeying her mother and becoming a better pony. Eventually, in time, the tape would become so worn out that she would barely even realize the images were flashing through her head again.
But the one thing she would never forget—even when she threw that memory away forever in hopes of becoming a better pony—was what her mother had told her when she found out. In Ponyville or anywhere else, her mother would’ve reported the colt to the school board and make sure he was never seen again. But as she begged and pleaded for Spoiled to eliminate him from her eye, the older mare said a single, simple thing.
“Bullies always tease the ones they like, dear. So all you have to do is break his heart, and he’ll be out of your mane forever.”
Diamond had never gotten the chance, as her family left Canterlot with the speed of Celestia’s sunlight. It’d only taken a year for the new Barnyard Bargains to fail. It’d only taken a year for her father to fall on his hooves for the first time in his life.
And it’d only taken a few little words to make Diamond question everything she was about to do.
How many hearts would she be destined to break? And what would it mean for the trail of foals she’d terrorized?
****
“Reputation is a most idle and false imposition, oft got without merit and lost without deserving,” Diamond recited, lazily turning the page on her leatherbound copy of Saddlespeare’s collected works. Compared to Apple Bloom’s beat-up volume of Foregone Conclusions, it looked as if it might as well have been printed in gold. In actuality, though, it was far from her nicest copy; back at the Rich mansion, she had an original edition that would’ve made Princess Twilight herself green with envy.
Then again, curling up in an apple orchard and reading classic literature with her newest marefriend more than made up for her lack of fancy reading material. The whole gathering was intended to be a tutoring session, as Apple Bloom had begged her to help her through Cheerilee’s latest assignment, but from the way the yellow filly—now practically a yellow mare, Diamond noted—lounged on the ground, she clearly had different intentions in mind.
Then again, Diamond would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it. After reciting her last line from Silver Tongue’s latest soliloquy, she let out a sigh of relief and gently laid the book on the grass.
“I swear, this has to be the worst play Saddlespeare ever wrote,” she muttered. “And I should know, from all the ones my parents used to cart me to.”
As Apple Bloom lifted her head off the ground, she raised her eyebrows in that Apple way Diamond found so annoying then and absolutely endearing now.
“Really, now?” she drawled, flipping her scarlet braid to the side. “I always thought Rodeo & Pirouette was his worst. He totally copied from my parents’ love story when he wrote it!”
Even though she could really say the dumbest jokes sometimes—and this time was definitely one of them—Diamond always found herself laughing along somehow. In fact, it’d probably been part of the reason she’d gotten so attracted to her in the first place. Yet somehow, this time, something just felt wrong.
Diamond knew that dwelling in her memories was something no young mare of wealth did in real life, and she certainly didn’t want to emulate the beautifully rich madmares from her mother’s old romances, either. There was a certain allure to that, she had to admit, but nothing that would do in this day in age. Sooner or later, she’d have to keep pushing those silly thoughts away like she had with everything else, especially when they’d all happened so long ago.
Thankfully, if Apple Bloom had noticed, she wasn’t showing it. If it helped any, the way they were reading the play—one line after another, spoken as if they were performing it themselves—had to hide at least some things. Though the two teenage mares played all the roles in their reading, for the most part Apple Bloom stuck to Ebony Sword, the noble earth pony general, and Diamond Tiara to Silver Tongue, the spurned soldier who convinced Ebony to believe all sorts of twisted things. Even though only one of the characters knew it, the two were destined to be the greatest of enemies—just like the two who played them had once been.
“Actually, hold up,” Apple Bloom suddenly said, dragging Diamond out of her thoughts. “Can we go over that last line again?”
“Starting at Line 257?”
“Whatever that one ‘bout reputation is. I can’t make heads or tails of it, ‘cept that Silver Tongue’s up to somethin’ again.”
Diamond rolled her eyes and stuck her head back in her book, making sure she had the right quote in mind to discuss with her companion.
“Silver Tongue’s always up to something. That’s his whole purpose. Kind of like my mother, really.”
Like how I used to be, she barely kept herself from saying. Still, even though she hadn’t said anything to show her worry, Apple Bloom still looked at her with the deepest concern in her eyes.
“Were you thinkin’ about her again, Di? I know she’s out of your life and outta Ponyville, but you have to let me know when she gets to you like that. You know I don’t like to see you get down and gloomy.”
Suddenly, Diamond stiffened as if a sword had been stuck up her back.
“Do you want me to explain the quote or not?” she interrupted, turning her head away from the other mare with a quick, sweeping motion.
“Only if you tell me what’s on your mind right after.”
Suddenly, Diamond regretted teaching Apple Bloom negotiation skills. Still, though, if it helped get her marefriend’s Language Arts grades up, the pink mare realized she’d do just about anything, even spill her most embarrassing, lingering thoughts.
She officially hated her life.
“Fine, then,” she muttered. “So basically, Silver Tongue’s crony is trying to back out of the deal, and he’s talking about how important his reputation is. But Silver Tongue wants to make sure everything’s in place, so he essentially tells the stallion that reputation is a fickle thing. No matter what he does, no matter whose side he’s on, he always risks losing it. So in the end, it doesn’t really matter whether you fight for the right reasons; the ponies who watch over you could decide you’re the worst pony in the world, or see you do something terrible and love you more for it. Pretty good advice, I guess, even if Silver Tongue’s just talking out of his flank to keep his ally on his side.”
When Apple Bloom still looked confused, Diamond continued, “When Daddy made me go off to Canterlot for some fancy summer school, they taught us a good thought experiment about this. Suppose you see two ponies fall from a cliff, but you only have time to save one. One’s the town mayor, and the other’s a foal who grows up to become a serial killer.”
Even though she was really only using the concept as an excuse to get out of sappy confession time, she was still more than a little entertained by the way Apple Bloom raised her hoof and treated Diamond as a teacher, listening with wide eyes as she did so.
“Quick question,” the yellow mare said. “Do we know that the foal’s gonna be a murderer?”
“No. Obviously, we don’t know anything about either of them except for their roles in society, and—“
“Could we ask Starlight to do that time travel spell so we can go to the future and make sure the foal doesn’t turn out to be a serial killer?”
All it took was a sigh and a facehoof from Diamond to tell Apple Bloom that that, too, was not an option on the hypothetical table.
“The point is, no matter what option you take, ponies will hate you for it. If you save the mayor, you gain an important political ally, but ponies will run you out of town for letting a foal die. If you save the foal, you’ll get protection from somepony who’s willing to kill for you, but ponies will hate you for killing the mayor.”
Apple Bloom seemed to understand for a few slight moments before shaking her head about as rapidly as it could go.
“Mayor Mare wouldn’t be mad,” she whispered with that often endearing, sometimes infuriating, naiveté of hers. “She’d die before lettin’ a foal get hurt.”
“That doesn’t guarantee you won’t be hated, though. It’s messed up in so many ways, but that’s Silver Tongue’s outlook on life. Love is fragile, and hate can come from anywhere. So really, reputation is meaningless.”
In an even softer voice, as if coming to a sudden realization, she finally whimpered, “I’m meaningless.”
As soon as those words slipped out of her mouth, she begged and pleaded with all her might that Apple Bloom didn’t hear them. That she didn’t see through her weakness, and that she’d never have bring her into her muddled mental state.
The truth was, she’d already gone far enough outside the safe territory of homework help. Now that she wasn’t constantly reading and analyzing the material, the implications were slowly catching up to her. Focusing on Silver Tongue kept her away from her thoughts, almost as if his villainy was natural and even to some extent normal for her. And to some extent, it was—the things he did to Ebony Sword, the ways he gained the soldier’s trust before ruining his life, were all too familiar to her. Just like she’d opposed Apple Bloom so long ago, the two characters were destined to fall into hatred and tragedy.
So what did that mean for them?
The coils of these thoughts seduced Diamond into her head yet again, conjuring nightmares within her mind. Yet, even though she willed herself to keep reading as if nothing was wrong, Apple Bloom was able to see past her deceit. Except this time, the yellow mare’s face rang with pity rather than a desire for revenge.
“Can we stop studyin’ for a while?” she asked, placing a hoof on the sleek pink fur she always loved to touch. “You seem out of it.”
Diamond turned to give her yet another glare, easing her way into a new plan. Playing the emotionless, diamond-tough rich mare had always been her best defense mechanism—the one thing she felt had kept her alive throughout the years. Sure, it meant regressing into a filly she thought she’d left behind, but anything was better than letting Apple Bloom know just how fragile she could still be. Anything.
“I’m as perfect as ever,” she muttered, turning back towards the book. “I do have a lot on my mind, but it’s just typical student council president stuff you wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand enough to know it ain’t just school stuff. You called yourself ‘meaningless,’ for land’s sake. That ain’t the Di I know.”
As much as Diamond found herself wanting to curse her marefriend for seeing through her once again, she wanted to curse the tears that threatened to emerge even more. Being a mare of culture meant breaking through emotions like this, going into the public eye with a constant smile, never showing weakness—
If she never piped up, Apple Bloom’s face would have that pitiful look forever. All it took was one look into those orange eyes, and Diamond wanted to confess everything. She wondered, for a single brief moment, if lover’s eyes really had that sort of magic to them, like Fluttershy’s Stare.
“It’s actually two things,” she whispered, her voice only a shadow of its once-commanding self. “About reputation and…about this whole play, really. It’s kind of got me thinking about who the two of us really are.”
“The cutest couple since Princess Cadance and Shining Armor?” Apple Bloom asked, holding onto one last dire attempt at coaxing Diamond into a smile. Needless to say, the teenage mare was still in a depression that wouldn’t be cracked by jokes, and so her marefriend prepared to listen.
“Both of these are things I haven’t told anypony, and before I tell you anything, I want to make sure you’re willing to keep all this inside the barn.”
Apple Bloom moved her hooves around as Diamond said this, already prepping herself into Pinkie Promise position. As soon as she saw, Diamond gave a quick nod and continued in an extremely raw, extremely vulnerable voice.
“The last thing my mother told me after the custody hearing was that she didn’t care how it went, and that Daddy could keep me. She said that she only showed up so she could play the grieving mother and make herself look better to everypony. In fact, she even told me that at first…she didn’t even want me. Daddy begged and begged her to start a family with him, but she only agreed because ponies were starting to see her as a wealth-seeker. So she thought settling down and having a foal with him would stop the bad rumors.”
Apple Bloom’s face had contorted into a mixture of horror and sympathy, and she approached her marefriend ever closer, squeezing her tighter than she ever had before.
“Really, I found out about it a year ago, so it doesn’t get to me that much anymore. I just wanted to make sure you knew that if reputation’s meaningless in this world, then I am, too. Because that’s basically what I’m made of.”
Diamond Tiara could tell what Apple Bloom was going to say just about as soon as she said it—that she was made of better things and that she shouldn’t let her mother define her. In that peaceful moment, in fact, she was almost tempted to believe the sweet nothings that came out of her marefriend’s mouth. But then, she remembered what she really was, and how much she’d really hurt the mare she loved throughout the years.
After several minutes of consoling and assurances that plenty of ponies still valued her for who she was now, Diamond finally let the question that’d been on her mind all day fly.
“Did you know,” she said in between tears, “that some ponies think Silver Tongue loved Ebony Sword? That he made him think his wife cheated on him just so he could have him to himself?”
While Apple Bloom’s face still had that concerned paleness to it, it began to contort into confusion as soon as Diamond said this. Still, the pink mare savored that expression, knowing that it would soon turn into something darker. This could very well be the last loving look she ever saw on the Apple mare’s face.
Diamond Tiara felt the need to confess it anyway.
“Now’s not the time to talk about that dumb play,” Apple Bloom interrupted. “I need to make sure you’re okay, and right now, it looks like you aren’t—“
“You don’t get it. This is about me, about us. If jealous ponies can do stuff like that to the ones they love, then who knows what—“
She paused for the slightest of seconds, watching with detachment as the first few tears flowed onto the ground.
“—I would do.”
She could feel Apple Bloom latch herself onto her body yet again, and for the first time in years, she pushed her away. The disappointment in her expression was palpable, and yet Diamond was only going to disappoint her even more.
“’Bullies always tease the ones they like.’ That’s what my mother told me the first time any colt bullied me. I always thought that was such a lame saying, but really, here I am now. Dating somepony I hurt without even thinking about what I did to them—or could still do. And so, the prophecy fulfills itself, and here I am, not even sure if I like you for who you are or if I had this twisted complex since I was a foal. At this point, I’m not even sure it matters.”
Reputation is lost without warning.
The phrase, not exactly the one Silver Tongue used but true all the same, rang through Diamond’s brain with every last word, knowing that each one could end up driving Apple Bloom away into better hooves. This time, she would be warned, because she knew exactly what was going to happen. The self-fulfilling prophecy would give way to its own forgone conclusion, and she would end up alone again.
But as she rattled off more and more of her spoken spell, making sure Apple Bloom knew that she would always have the potential to hurt her, that abusiveness really did run in her family after all, she noticed that the mare was still there through everything. Still infuriatingly naïve, breaking every rule in the book she knew…
Forgiveness is gained with even less.
Against all odds, Apple Bloom had stayed with every word, listening intently as if Diamond was really worthy of her attention. And somehow, against everything else, she pulled the other mare into her embrace after she’d finished confessing everything.
“You honestly think that’s all our love is?” Apple Bloom asked with a surprising lack of judgement. “Just some other power play of yours to break my heart?”
All Diamond could do was nod regretfully, knowing that with how unsure she was of her feelings, that was all too likely the case.
“Well, it won’t be broken that easily. I know you too well, Di, and I’ve figured out how to call your plans right when I see ‘em. I sure know I didn’t see any of that when you asked me out. As far as I can tell, you’ve changed a ton since then.”
“Really?” Diamond finally questioned. “Even if I’m still not sure I’m being the best pony?”
“You’re the best in my book. And, if you ask me, that sayin’ ain’t really true for us. We stopped bein’ your standard bully and victim years ago, and that shouldn’t keep definin’ us. It stopped definin’ you for me, at least.”
Apple Bloom offered Diamond Tiara a hoof off the ground, and for once, she took it. This was the one mare she knew wouldn’t exploit her for her weaknesses—and judging from the looks of it, the other mare knew she wouldn’t exploit hers.
Come to think of it, they were so many things together—friends, classmates, and someday, possibly even business allies. Limiting themselves to just how they’d been in the past, the more Apple Bloom consoled her, didn’t make much sense anymore. Silver Tongue and Ebony Sword would restart their battle of words every time the play was performed, but the two mares could go far past that and choose to love one another rather than continuing their hate.
That was the decision Diamond had made years ago. And now, in the sunset of Sweet Apple Acres, talking through every problem she ever had and watching Apple Bloom will it away with another kiss, she felt as if she was making it again.
The Elements of Harmony had earned their cutie marks through Rainbow Dash’s help, and now, looking at how she’d helped the Crusaders earn theirs, Diamond knew that she and Apple Bloom had a destiny far greater than any fictional rivals could ever dream of.
And that was what made their love strong.
Author's Note
The whole bullying=love trope has never been one of my favorites, and in fact, it's probably the main reason I didn't ship DiamondBloom until after the former's reformation. Thankfully, the saying featured in this story was always said teasingly in my family--basically just to squick me out about the idea of getting together with my childhood bully--but I've heard about a lot of people who genuinely believe it. This story, for me, is one huge deconstruction of this idea and how, even if a relationship does pop up between former victim/former bully, there needs to be a different way to define it. If you keep thinking about it in those terms, and keep acting in the victim/bully dynamic, it just isn't a healthy relationship. But thankfully, Diamond's fears are all illusions that her guilt complex puts on, and will never come to pass. 
I--I mean, here's a catchy J-Rock song that this fic got its title from! The author's not at all trying to get serious about a common relationship problem! 
