Sometimes solutions aren't so simple. Sometimes goodbye is the only way-Shadow of the Day
My friend Light Shadow is sometimes hard to describe. Physically he has a blue coat with a sort black colored mane and a long black colored tail his eyes where a shade of green and he had a microphone as his cutie mark. His personalty is that he has a kind heart and puts other ponies well beings before his own. He was my second long time friend after Applejack. I met him when I was talking singing lesson and when I first heard him I thought that he was the most talent singer I had ever heard even more talent than myself. We became quick friends even when we both became famous we still got in touch with each other and hung out. When I met him again after I ditch my persona and my manager he said that I looked better this way then I did with all the make up and fancy stuff. That really did make me smile.
March 3rd 2017 was the last day I saw my friend Light alive before his tragic death.
It started out like any day would with the sun shiny brightly in the sky as me and Light Shadow were walking on a nature trail taking in the beautiful sights that Fillydelphia has to offer.
"So your upcoming tour must be nervous." Rara said to her friend
"Yea it's going to be one of our biggest tour to date." Light said to her
"Sounds like fun." she joked
"I was wondering if I could ask you something?" Light told her
"Sure what is it." she said
"I was wondering if you want to preform one of our songs with me?" he asked her
"Sure that sounds awesome!" she said
"And also I was wonder if after the tour that you would like to....." he said
"Like to what?" she asked
"Go on a date, " he asked blushing a bit
"I.....I would love too." she said blushing as well
"Really!" he said excitedly
"Yes, really." she said laughing a bit
"Well it would be after we finish our tour of course." Light said
"Light, my answer is still yes." Rara said as she leaned closer to him.
They just stood there staring into each other eyes. After awhile Light broke the silence by saying
"Well then I should get going we still have a lot of stuff to prepare for our tour."
"Yea I'll see you later Light." she said to him
"See ya too Rara." he said to her as he walked away
We never got to go on that date because two days after our talk Light was found in his house dead. It was confirmed by police that he died of overdose of prescribed pills. The music industry along with celebrities and fans alike were sadden by this news and mourned him. When I heard of this I was in denial, but what broke me it was when we where at his funeral a week later and as I watched his coffin get lowered into the grave I just couldn't handle it anymore and just fell to the ground crying and my heart was crying to for a pony that I loved and never got to tell him how I truly felt about him.
I spent the last part of the month in mourning. I was in my house most of the time, I barely left at all. It wasn't until my friend AJ came to visit that I knew the reality of the situations.
"Come on Rara you can't be like this forever you need too get back out there and face this head on." Applejack said to her friend
"I can't my heart hurts too much." Rara told her
"I'm afraid I can't help you with that, anyway I need to get going, but just one more thing before I go would Light want you to be like this." She said as she walked away
When AJ left I just sat there and think about what she had said to me and just was wondering would he want me to be like this. I was starting to feel sad again so I decided to play one of his songs to help me think. And as I was listening to it I was beginning to feel sad again until I heard the chorus:
And you held it all
But you were careless to let it fall
You held it all, and I was by your side
Powerless
When I heard that I was thinking about all of our time together and try to remember any point if i saw him feeling sad or depressed but i couldn't all i saw was his smile and it was at that point is where i knew I couldn't feel this way forever i need to get back out there and make a statement.
A week later I was set to preform in front of a large audience in Canterlot. As I was getting my self prepared a stallion with a brown coat and a black mane with what looked like a briefcase for a cutie mark approached me and asked
"Hello there are you Rara?" he asked
"Yes I am who are you?" she asked
"It doesn't matter who I am, it has to do with your late friend Light Shadow." he said to her
"What about him?" she asked him
"He wanted you to have this"he said as he handed me a envelope and walked away.
As he walked away I started to opened it and inside was a letter from Light Shadow. The letter read:
Dear Rara,
If you are reading this then it means that I went though with it and I'm gone. I am writing this letter to let you know that what i choose to do was not your fault and you shouldn't feel bad for not helping me. I've been feeling this way for a while and that I have been having been battling with my demons for a long time and knowing that you are reading this letter means that i lost myself to the demons, but I want to let you know that I've been hiding feelings from you and now that i know I will be gone I can finally tell you this. I love you, I always have, you were the one thing that was keeping me from doing this earlier. Now that I am gone I want you to know this, I am leaving every piece of rough draft of songs to you and i know you will be able to turn them into beautiful songs. Goodbye my friend.
Light Shadow.
As I read the letter my heart started to heal and I had found the strength to preform on stage and as i walked up on to the stage I realized something.
Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
LIfe can be pretty hard
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
And it can bring you down sometimes
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
And that you could get knocked down
There are things that we can have, but can't keep
And it's trying to get back up that it is hardest part
If they say
But you can't let the negative side of life affect you
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Cause if you do then their will be ponies who will be hurt because of it
In a sky of a million stars
Ponies will always be hurt when somepony close to them leave them
It flickers, flickers
So keep going forward even if life brings you down
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
No matter what happens you must keep going foward
If a moment is all we are
You must not let anypony bring you down and tell you that you don't matter
We're quicker, quicker
Everypony's life is special and different
Who cares if one more light goes out?
And we must live our life to fullest to fully realize who you truly are
Well I do
So just take it one step at a time
The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In life we do things
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
Some we wish we had never done
And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair
Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads
Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there
But they all make us who we are
If they say
And in the end they shape every detail about us
Who cares if one more light goes out?
if we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the pony we are
In a sky of a million stars
So just live
It flickers, flickers
Make mistakes
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
Have wonderful memories
If a moment is all we are
But never ever second guess who you are
We're quicker, quicker
Where you have been
Who cares if one more light goes out?
And most importantly where is it that your going
Well I do
Who cares if one more light goes out?
But sometimes we already know where we are going
In a sky of a million stars
And sometimes that is a scary thing
It flickers, flickers
It's scary that you know where you are going
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
But not knowing how you can get there
If a moment is all we are
But just know that life isn't easy
We're quicker, quicker
And that it could be a difficult thing to go though
Who cares if one more light goes out?
But as long as the sun shines on you
Well I do
You know that your friends will always be with you though life and death
Well I do
As Rara got up onto the stage she walk towards the mic and spoke into it and said
"Hello ponies of Canterlot, I'm Rara and I'm here to perform for you all."
The crowd cheered for her and when she heard this and thought that this might be easy
"But before I do there is something I need to tell you all."
But the reality of it started to become heavy on her
"About two weeks ago we lost one of the greatest singer that ever walked on this planet. His name was Light Shadow and he was one of my closet friend and i am still mourning him as i am talking to you all. His death was by his own hand. To quote one of his band mates that were talking about his death they said about him is that There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds and that it is the most active description of ponies that are dealing with depression and all I can say is this, talk to somepony, open up with somepony about what you are feelings don't try to keep it buried cause the more you hide it the more that it will hurt."
"Now than since we got that out of the way I am going to preform a song that Light had written that would have had me help sing it, so in honor of him I will be singing this song that he wanted me to sing with him."
Her band started the instrumental of the songs until it was time for her to sing:
I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the pain
The End
Author's Note
This story is for everyone who had dealt with depression and sadness in their life.
Suicide is never the answer
Shadow of the day, Powerless, One More Light, and Heavy belongs to Linkin Park
