The Everfree Forest held mixed memories for Twilight, but regular walks to see her friend Zecora were helping her overcome her inner reticence. Today she would be taking the same path once more, this time to pick up some herbs that she had run out of, and quite probably stay a little longer to catch up on what had been happening. Overall, it had the makings of a good day.
Having nominated Spike to be in charge whilst she was gone, she donned her saddle bags and opened the front door, taking in the brightness and the freshness that lifted her slightly jaded senses from having been inside for too long. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as her chest swelled with the intoxicating mix of scents that comprised the outdoors and set off with an optimistic gait.
The walk through Ponyville offered the serendipitous opportunity to say hello to a number of friends and acquaintances before reaching the edge of the village whereupon the welcome chance encounters with other ponies evaporated and the roads lost their crisp definition as they degenerated into narrowing tracks.
She was well on her way through the outer reaches of the Everfree when she became aware of a movement off to one side; something low down. Immediately she felt an unwelcome tingling sensation spread from her back down all four legs before discharging through her hooves. She told herself not to be scared, but planned escape routes either way down the track just in case.
Keeping a good look around her just in case she was going to be jumped, Twilight edged closer to get a better view of what had caught her eye. Whilst maintaining a healthy respect for her potential escape routes, she headed in closer until she was finally able to make out the form of a white pegasus, spread across the ground at an unnatural angle, yet this was not the focus of her gaze, moreover it was the foal laid down beside the larger white form.
Twilight suddenly lost sense of concern for herself and started talking quietly and soothingly to the foal whose ears twitched in response, but it made no effort to get up. She edged closer in and saw claw marks on the body of the larger pegasus, some of which had cut deep rents through the coat. A large patch of blood stained earth lay a few yards to one side, and a diminishing dark trail led to the body. She could only assume that one of the hellish monsters from within the Everfree had attacked the two pegasi and that the older one had defended the foal, but at a heavy cost.
Bending down to conduct a closer examination, she quickly noticed that the adult, a female, had lost her fight many hours ago, probably during the night and there was nothing that could be done to help her now. The young foal turned to face Twilight, who had stopped talking while she had been conducting her examination, and so, feeling chastened, she resumed her soft and reassuring monologue. At this, the foal laid its head down again, satisfied that its meagre request had been met.
“Well, little one” soothed Twilight “We can’t leave you here for another scary monster to come back, now can we?”
She gathered up some soft grasses and moss and lined one of her saddle bags, then tucked the foal inside, tying the strap so that it could stick its head out but not escape. She also wasn’t about to leave the body of the brave pegasus mare for the wild animals, but couldn’t carry her on her back lest this present too much of a grim image to the foal, so she picked up the lifeless body in a levitation spell and carried it back out onto the track and off towards Zecora.
It was hard work maintaining the levitation spell for more than a minute, but she wasn’t prepared to stop with the risk of a dangerous animal on the loose, so strained hard to keep the lifeless pegasus aloft. The twists and turns of the rough track seemed to wind on forever, so she was relieved to see Zecora’s hut finally appear from the expanse of forest, emerging utterly drained with her unexpected cargo.
“Twilight Sparkle bring that pony through;
Quick, let me see what I can do.”
“It’s too late for that Zecora I’m afraid” said Twilight solemnly.
“I couldn’t exactly carry her back into Ponyville like this, so I hope you don’t mind” she continued.
“The loss of this poor dear is tragic
But why carry her in your magic?
“Because of this Zecora”, said Twilight removing her saddle bags and helping the young foal to get out.
Zecora gasped at the sight of the helpless little foal and suddenly appreciated the full scope of the situation.
“I have some milk that I can warm through
Feeding this babe is the first thing to do.”
“You’re right Zecora, we don’t know how long she’s been out there” agreed Twilight picking up the foal and settling down to give it a comforting hug. Although she was both physically and mentally drained, the lilac unicorn’s maternal instinct was strong and as she hugged the precious little bundle, she allowed a tear to roll down her muzzle for its mother.
The little foal opened a big eye to look at Twilight. A bond had been struck that she couldn’t avoid.
“It’s OK, little one” she said softly “I’ll look after you. I promise.”
Although the foal had no idea what the lilac mare had just said, the tone was comforting and it closed its eye again, feeling the warmth of a loving embrace.
Zecora emerged shortly with some warmed milk and an improvised bottle. Twilight accepted the gift graciously and tilted the foal to accept the treat, gently aligning the teat end with its mouth. It opened its eyes and accepted the feed, gulping greedily at the first meal it had enjoyed in hours. Twilight angled the bottle to make the feeding as easy as possible and cradled the foal lovingly, acting every inch as the surrogate mother that she had just become. Zecora looked on at the scene of placid contentment and smiled; the foal was very lucky to have been discovered by Twilight.
Zecora left the bonding pair together and walked off to look at the injuries that had killed the foal’s mother. The spacing between the claw marks alerted her to the size of the monster that had caused the wounds and sent a shiver down her spine; the Everfree had suddenly become a whole lot more dangerous.
Once the foal had been fed, Twilight loaded her saddle bags on one side with some of the herbs she had come out for in the first place, and returned the sleepy foal to its travelling compartment on the other side. Zecora was not going to see Twilight make the return journey alone, so they tucked the body of the white mare in a secure room where nothing could get at it until they returned before setting off together; it was the least they could do to protect her dignity.
Some way along the track, Twilight pointed out the location where she had first encountered the pegasi; the deep coloured blood stains still a horrible monument to the last moments of the foal’s courageous mother. Zecora shook her head in concern and stopped, facing the scene. She chanted a few arcane words, bowed and then rejoined Twilight.
The friends walked on in silence, together and apart, each ruminating over their thoughts; Twilight thinking how she could best look after the foal and Zecora contemplating with apprehension what the immediate future would hold in store for her, living inside the boundary of the forest.
The streets of Ponyville were reassuringly busy and came as a welcome relief from the tension they had both felt on their trek through the outskirts of the Everfree. They walked back to the Golden Oak library where Spike greeted them at the door and ushered them in. He showed little interest in the saddle bags as Twilight removed them and carefully placed them on the floor, but his interest was piqued when he noticed the attentiveness that the two recent arrivals were showing in them.
“So, what’s in the bags Twi?” he asked.
Twilight ssshhed him and he looked at her askance; doing as he had been bidden, but frowning an inquisitive look at her. She untied the top of one of the bags just enough to confirm the sleeping form of the foal inside; Twilight and Zecora both smiling maternally. Spike looked in too.
“Oh wow, Twi” he whispered “she’s beautiful.”
“Actually we don’t know if it’s a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ yet Spike” replied Twilight “There have been far more pressing issues to contend with.”
Spike looked at her inquisitively once more.
“Zecora, would you look after our guest while I let Princess Celestia know what’s happened please?” Twilight quested.
The inquisitive baby dragon kept trying to look back at the foal as Twilight ushered him out of the room, the librarian catching a nod from Zecora to confirm everything would be alright while she dictated her letter.
“Dear Princess Celestia” she began “I have to inform you that I found a dead pegasus in the Everfree Forest on the way to Zecora’s hut. She was an adult, white coat, red and blue mane, and had been attacked by some creature with large claws.”
Spike looked startled at this news, but kept writing.
“Are you OK Twi?” he asked.
“Yes, yes” replied Twilight “Come on Spike, let’s finish this first. It’s important Princess Celestia gets to hear the news without delay.”
Feeling a little admonished, Spike continued catching up with the dictation.
“She was also defending a young foal; white coat, burgundy mane, and I’m happy to look after it until family can be traced. Please let me know what more I can do in this matter. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Twi-light Spar-kle” finished Spike.
“OK” said the prized student “Now send it please Spike.”
Spike despatched the letter in typical dragon fashion and waited.
“Hey Twi, how long do you reckon before …” Spike belched and a scroll appeared to answer his unfinished question.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle” he read out loud “Thank you for letting me know. I will come and join you shortly. Princess Celestia.”
“Right, Spike” said Twilight, “Mr and Mrs Cake have two foals the same age. Please would you run over to Sugarcube Corner and ask if they can help us out here?”
“Sure thing, Twi” responded Spike throwing a casual salute before the librarian opened the door into the main room where Zecora stood over the still sleeping foal. He walked slowly as he stared at their young guest, dragging his heels to watch it for longer, until Twilight gave him a gentle nudge to set him on his way.
Only ten minutes later, Mrs Cake quietly opened the door and let herself in, placing a bundle of supplies on the floor, before tiptoeing over to greet the librarian and the zebra with kindly smiles.
“Oh the poor dear” she whispered “Lost its mother, Spike was saying. Still, it looks content enough at the moment. I’ve brought a bottle and some milk and some diapers too. Oh, and some of the more regular medicines, just in case.”
“Mrs Cake, thank you, you’re so kind” replied Twilight “I’m not really conversant with how to use all these things properly, but I’m sure there’s a book somewhere.”
Mrs Cake giggled “It’s instinctive. I’ll stay for a while and show you if you like.”
Word was starting to get round about the incident in the Everfree and new foal at the library, and it wasn’t long before visitors were rolling up to see for themselves. Zecora kindly accepted the gifts that kind ponies brought along, but limited access to Twilight’s immediate friends and the three young fillies that called themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The foal stated to stir and Twilight looked nervously at Mrs Cake who deftly slipped in to fit a diaper in expectation of things to come. She turned to Twilight and smiled “I think we can safely say this is a ‘she’.”
For some reason, Twilight just felt she could burst with pride now knowing the gender. In fairness she would probably have acted just the same to receive the news that it was a colt …
Twilight picked her up and cradled her lovingly to a chorus of “Awww” from everypony present, just like she was her own. While Mrs Cake prepared a bottle, the friends all introduced themselves in turn and gave the foal a gentle tickle, every one of them being rewarded by a little giggle. Then came the three youngest fillies to be allowed in, a yellow earth pony with a red ribbon in her mane being first up.
“Apple Bloom” she said. The foal giggled, then surprised everypony present:
“Loom” she said. Apple Bloom’s mouth fell open and she gasped, clapping her forehooves together while a broad smile spread across her face. The foal clapped her forehooves together too and she giggled even more. If she had melted everyponys’ hearts earlier, she had now won them over completely.
A white unicorn came along next “Sweetie Belle” she announced.
“Loom” said the foal and clapped her hooves together, giggling. Those ponies that didn’t giggle all said “Awww”
Scootaloo tried her luck next, but was met with the same response.
“Well everypony” said Twilight “It looks like she’s going to be called Loom.”
“Loom” said the foal, clapping her forehooves once more.
Just then, Loom scrunched up her face and a familiar sound emanated from her diaper. Those who hadn’t changed diapers before all responded with an “Ewww”, while those with more experience of foalcare just smiled.
Mrs Cake brought the freshly prepared bottle over and Twilight held it for Loom, who took it in her mouth and gulped down the warm milk as fast as she could, taking little gasping breaths between gulps, all the time keeping Twilight fixed with her beautiful big eyes.
Nopony noticed when Princess Celestia arrived, so enamoured were they all with little Loom. Spike noticed first and shot out “Princess Celestia!” His sudden outburst caused Loom to falter and begin to whimper, rejecting her bottle.
A path cleared for Celestia to get through while Twilight gently rocked Loom in her cradled forelegs, getting her to calm down once more.
“Twilight” beamed Celestia “You really have a mother’s skills with that young foal.”
“Her name’s Loom” said Apple Bloom “After me.”
Celestia chuckled. “Loom it is then” she replied.
While Twilight was busy, Zecora took Celestia to one side and explained everything that had happened, the Royal Princess’s face furrowing more deeply with every detail she heard.
“Twilight” Celestia said “Zecora and I will take the Royal chariot so she can show me the evidence and we will then be able to recover the larger item you had to leave behind. I will be back as soon as I am able, but in the meantime I can see little Loom is in the best hooves.”
At this, Twilight blushed and resumed her foal sitting duties under the supervision of Mrs Cake.
Celestia returned some time later to find the same crowd still in the Golden Oak library as she had seen when she had left. Twilight was cuddling Loom and singing gentle songs to her.
“Twilight, I am so proud of you” said the Princess “You make an excellent mother.” Then her smile dropped as she closed in to continue, but not for anypony else’s ears.
“We have recovered the mother and will give her a burial as befits somepony of her heroism. Zecora has chosen to stay in the Everfree Forest, so I have cast a spell around her hut to keep her safe. I have also spoken with the Mayor and agreed to increase patrols to protect everypony in the area until we can catch whatever was responsible for this attack.
“Sounds like you’ve had a busy day Princess” said Twilight.
“May I see if I can find out a little more about your new friend please?”
Twilight nodded and Celestia lit her horn, a yellow aura forming round the tip. She closed her eyes in concentration and allowed her magic to weave around the young filly. She took her time, then retracted suddenly and without warning, for what her magic had shown shocked her; Loom was suffering from a congenital condition that meant she was not destined to grow much older. Twilight had not been watching her mentor’s face, because if she had, her next question would have been different.
“Did you get any clue as to who she may be Princess?” she asked innocently.
“No Twilight, I’m sorry” replied Celestia a little too hurriedly “Thank you for your time; I must return now; there are a lot of preparations to make if we are to protect Ponyville from the creatures that roam the Everfree Forest.”
Celestia departed the library and stepped into her chariot, being pulled into the air shortly afterwards. Only then did she allow the tears she had held back in the presence of her student to build in her eyes, and stifled quiet little sobs as she dwelt on the prospect of this bright young filly never fulfilling her potential.
A week or so later, Twilight received a scroll from Celestia bearing the news that they had tracked down a rogue lupus major in the Everfree and that its claws matched the dimensions of the injuries suffered by Loom’s mother. The message went on to say that ‘appropriate measures’ had been taken to remove the threat from Equestria, but Twilight paid no more than passing interest; she no longer ventured far enough that it would cause her any particular concern.
Twilight’s regular letters to Celestia became less about friendship lessons and more about the progress of Loom, yet one at a time her friends had begun to notice that she wasn’t developing at the same pace as other foals in her peer group. She was happy in herself, but while others were developing a vocabulary of words, Loom was still happy with only one word; her self-appointed name.
Twilight loved her dearly; more with every passing day, and concerned comments from friends about Loom’s development were not well received, Twilight always taking an overtly defensive stance. Over recent months, she had become more than just dismissive, she had started to become rude in her denial of what was fast becoming obvious to everypony else; Loom was not developing as she should. Twilight had reached the point where she would round on any pony who expressed any concerns, and Spike was on eggshells desperately trying not to antagonise the situation further.
The surrogate mother had by now alienated herself from all but her closest friends, and as a result, those relationships she still had were becoming strained. She made allowances for Loom; after all who could know the horrors she had witnessed when her mother had died? It was bound to have had an effect and Twilight wasn’t going to stand for any criticism of her foal. Her foal.
Progressively, Twilight began to neglect all of her other duties and just focused all of her attention onto Loom, until eventually Spike was left to pick up the pieces; keeping the library running, putting meals on the table and doing all the cleaning.
Although Loom was as happy as ever, she wasn’t putting on weight like she should. Twilight frantically read and re-read anything and everything on foal care and early years’ development and asked anypony who would still talk to her what may be the matter, but there was no satisfactory answer. In desperation, she wrote to her mentor requesting her support, although the message read more like a demand.
Celestia received the most recent scroll from Twilight; she dreaded each one now as it bore out what she had already foreseen and now the truth had become inescapable. Worse, Loom’s condition had consumed her student such that she had long since stopped her friendship studies and by all accounts had become something of a short-tempered recluse.
Ever since having cast her spell on Loom, she had agonised over sharing what she had found with her student. How could she tell her? Was it fair not too? She had known that if she said nothing then they could be heading for an argument, but she had wanted to put it off rather than face it. But now here it was – the desperate cry for help. It had been inevitable, but oh, how she wished it had never happened.
Celestia personally hoof-picked two of her most trusted pegasus guards who had seen her through the successes and defeats of her recent reign and of which no word had ever leaked out. As soon as they received personal invitations for a private briefing from their Princess, they knew something was amiss. They stood to attention in a private chamber before the regal white alicorn as she addressed them:
“Gentlemen” she began “You have provided the most admirable service and I have always valued your dedication and discretion. I regret I have a difficult task ahead of me today and I should like to request your drawing the Royal chariot on what may become a long journey.”
“This is not an order, but a request of two of my most trusted guards” she continued “You may refuse and I will hold no ill will against you. Are you willing to undertake this task?”
Their answers were as immediate as they were unequivocal; of course they would.
“Thank you” she said with obvious relief in her voice “We are to fly to Ponyville. However on the return journey, unless I say to the contrary, I want you to take a long route back over safe but unpopulated areas as I may need some … time to myself.”
Celestia dismissed the two guards to make appropriate preparations and then went back to her private quarters, dreading what lay ahead. The clock moved relentlessly forward, although she wished time would stop, but she knew that no matter how hard she agonised, the confrontation would still happen. Monsters she could face, tyrants she could tackle, enemies she could fight, but facing Twilight would be so much worse than any of these. She procrastinated, spiralling down into the morbidity that had lain suppressed deep within her psyche; aspects of herself that she wished never to see ever again.
The time arrived. When she walked out to her chariot she was heartened to see her two chosen guards harnessed up and ready. She acknowledged them and stepped abroad, watched as they spread their mighty wings and felt the gentle exhilaration of being swept into the sky. The panorama of Equestria unfolding beneath her was a spectacular sight, but to her, nothing new. All she could think about was the forthcoming meeting with Twilight as she drew closer with every wingbeat.
The Royal chariot touched down behind the Golden Oak library with barely a bump, the chosen landing point having been selected to avoid undue publicity.
Celestia adopted her regal persona so as not to betray her true feelings, and alighted from the chariot, her hooves automatically placing themselves dutifully one behind the other towards her destination; her mind desperately willing her body not to follow. She raised a forehoof to knock at the door and hesitated, her inner feelings seizing command of her actions for a fleeting second.
She must do this.
She couldn’t run away.
Finally, she knocked, a lead weight forming in her stomach as the sound echoed within.
The small purple dragon opened the door and showed the Princess through into the room that Twilight had painted up as a nursery, with bright colours counterpointed by beautiful murals of ponies from Equestrian history. Among the perfectly accurate depictions of historical dioramas, she noticed a number of images of Star Swirl the Bearded along with an equal number of the Sun Princess herself, making the weight in her stomach unbearably heavy.
“Thanks for coming Princess” said Twilight who was nursing at the time and didn’t get up.
“You certainly are devoted to little Loom” said Celestia, acknowledging the evident lengths her student had gone to in accommodating her young charge.
“You’ve read my reports Princess” said the student with palpable concern in her voice “I have exhausted every line of study I can think of. What can you do to make her better?”
Although she already knew what she would find, Celestia lit her horn for the sake of appearances and allowed her magic to permeate through the foal before reporting.
“There’s nothing I can do” she whispered.
Twilight stopped stock still.
“What do you mean, there’s nothing you can do?”
Celestia stood impassively, fighting back the rising tsunami of emotions that wanted to break through her regal countenance.
“Twilight” she soothed “Everypony has their time. It’s not about how long somepony can live, but it’s more about the love they bring in the time they are with us.”
“No Princess. That’s not good enough" said Twilight, forcing to keep a lid on the anger that was clearly building within her.
“Twilight …” she began.
“NO!” shouted the student, making Loom start with surprise “I’m not having that!”
She gently placed her precious bundle into a padded basket on the floor.
“Here it comes” thought Celestia, bracing herself.
Twilight stalked towards her mentor with a look of unsuppressed rage on her face, unashamedly staring her squarely in the eye.
“You … you are the most powerful alicorn in all of Equestria. There is no magic unknown to you. You can cure her, if you want to.”
“Twilight, it’s not like that …”
“Then what is it like, Celestia?” She had never addressed her mentor by just her forename before, and chose this moment not only to use it for the first time, but also coated it with such dripping venom that it struck as a savage dagger blow straight to her heart. Celestia was too shocked to respond before Twilight weighed in again.
“You have always called me your faithful student, as well I have been, but the second I ask for some recognition, some appreciation of that special status, you decline. What am I to you? A plaything to be toyed with when you choose?”
Celestia fought to maintain her composure, but inside she was being ripped apart, shred at a time.
“This is a young foal” continued the student “She has done nothing to hurt anypony. She brings light and joy to everypony. She is mine; she is a part of me. You let her die and you are condemning me to a living death without her!”
Twilight was letting it all flood out now and it was as bad as Celestia had feared. The alicorn felt a lump rise in her throat and had to force it back down again to prepare herself to say her piece without breaking down.
“Twilight!” she barked. Her student simply stopped and allowed her eyes to burst forth with tears that she had been holding back. She gasped in deep sobs as her hot tears deluged down her muzzle. She didn’t try to hide her face, but stared accusingly at Celestia, using every tear as a weapon, each one striking hard at her soul.
“I am an immortal, Twilight. Over hundreds of years, I have known many ponies, some of them deeply special to me. When their time came, do you not think for a second that I didn’t want to keep them with me rather than lose them? And if I had weakened and kept them alive, then at what point should I have let them go? Never? For each time you save somepony, allowing them to finally pass away becomes even harder. The question then becomes are you keeping them alive for their sake or for yours?”
There was nothing for it; she had to hit her with her final hammer blow before her emotion got the better of her and she couldn’t continue:
“How selfish are you, Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight stopped her sobbing and just stared into her mentor’s eyes and beyond, right through into her soul.
“I hate you Celestia” she said and turned back to Loom who was crying with all the noise.
“I think you’d better go now” concluded the lilac unicorn “You’re not welcome here any more.”
Celestia felt the lump rise back up in her throat as her prized student turned against her. She knew she couldn’t force the lump back down this time and didn’t try. Inside, the stoic immortal just wanted to wither and die, but her legs took charge and started to turn for the door.
Just then, Loom stirred and looked up at Twilight.
“Mama” she said.
Twilight held her close and even Celestia postponed her departure to see the moment. This was only her second word, but it cemented the already strong bond with her surrogate mother and blasted Celestia right through her soul. As the white alicorn stood, shocked, Twilight lifted her head and stared at her former mentor, raising one eyebrow in open defiance.
Celestia couldn’t speak if she wanted to, but bowed graciously and turned, ignoring the open jawed Spike whom she had forgotten was there. Once out of the library, she forced herself to keep her composure by taking the shallowest of breaths and walked round to find the chariot waiting, climbing in with no further words. Her charioteers knew what this meant and set off on a journey home that would give their Princess some privacy and time to recover her composure.
Once away from Ponyville airspace, she allowed the lump in her throat to finally rise up and overwhelm her. She choked as it crawled up her throat and her eyes welled with hot tears. Finally, all the heartache she had struggled so hard to hold in burst forth and she sobbed with the injustice that she knew Twilight felt. Her former student was right, Loom was an innocent who deserved a chance, but she could not stand as final arbiter over life and death; what sort of a monster would that make her?
She cried her heart out for the power she had and the restraint she had to exercise in choosing not to use it, no matter what the personal sacrifice would be. She had lost a student, a friend and the Elements of Harmony would probably never function again whilst Twilight was one of the bearers. It was a high price, a very high price, but she had emerged with her integrity intact, and that was the quality that would be needed to ultimately hold Equestria together.
Loom finally succumbed as Celestia knew she would. She allowed the foal to be buried next to her mother and kept an adjacent plot reserved for Twilight when her day came. She didn’t attend the ceremony herself because she was aware of the animosity harboured by her former student, but watched from a distance, mixed emotions flooding her body.
Whatever the rights and wrongs of her actions, the die had been cast and Equestria would move on. Celestia knew that she would now have to be more vigilant as she could not count on the Elements of Harmony. She also knew she would never receive another friendship report from the lilac unicorn Twilight Sparkle.
The ceremony over, Celestia turned to face the day, she and Twilight departing in different directions, each with their heart ripped in two.
