Be careful what you wish for

by Little Storm Cloud

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Human
Length: 9244

Adopted kid, Vinyl Scratch

When a boy wishes he was in Equestria, a magical world of ponies, he gets his wish, but then finds out they have annoyances, such as orphanages. But getting adopted ain't that bad, is it.

Published 2012-07-19 05:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-17 11:09:44 UTC

Chapter 1

Ok, let’s get this straight. I am, I mean was, a brony. A teenage boy who loved a show about talking ponies, who shared love and happiness all for the entertainment of small children everywhere. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic managed to attract an audience of adults and teens as well, and not just girls, guys too. How it did this I have no idea, but I got hooked as well.

After a few months, I had weird dreams. Like, REALLY weird. At first there was a… rather inappropriate fantasy with my original character and one of the characters off the show. Next things were like full on episodes of the show. But after a while, things went haywire. I started seeing ponies wherever I looked. In windows and ponds, stuff like that. After about a week of this, it stopped. Then I wished I could be in Equestria, the magical place full of ponies. That’s when the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ decided to be really annoying and fu-, I mean buck, up my day.

I woke up after a peaceful sleep, and as usual I was too lazy to open my eyes. I would have to go to school today, so I might as well wait for my mother to come and wake me up. But she didn’t come. No opening my door and yelling ‘Cimeon, get your lazy butt outta bed and get ready for school’, nothing. That’s when I decided it was time to wake up for myself. I opened my eyes and all I saw was the sun. It was bright. So I closed my eyes and opened them about ten seconds later. I turned my head to the side and looked at the fresh green grass and smelt the fresh air. I knew this must be a dream. I wasn’t in bed, I wasn’t in a house, I was outside. So much to my delight, I fell asleep again.

When I woke up again, I opened my eyes immediately and was relieved to see that I was in a bed. That relief was washed away by a tidal wave when I noticed it wasn’t my bed. I looked around the room I was in, and it was massive. I felt dwarfed by the ceiling which must have been around eight metres up. The room had the typical décor most rooms have. Desk, chair, bookshelf, and the bed I was laying in. That about cut it. I noticed to my left was what could only be described as a makeshift medical station. It was a metal tray on a bedside table. On top of it were some bottles that I could only imagine contain pills of medicine, a glass of water, and some little odds and ends that could help with injuries. Next to it was one of those racks that hold IV drips upright. I had a little needle in my foreleg… wait WHAT?

I looked down to see that I hadn’t hands but hooves! My mind worked into overdrive to comprehend what had happened. But soon my brain just repeated one word: No. Nononononononononononononononononononononono! That was all I could think. Where did my hands and arms go? I looked down and took in what had replaced my body. A dark blue coat, out of the corner of my eyes I saw yellow and black hair. Mane I mentally corrected myself. I knew I was a pony. Colt to be exact. My wishes came true, and now I wished they didn’t. I knew who I was, I was my original character that I made a while back. Storm Cloud.

I began to hyperventilate. This was anything but normal. If I was in Equestria, and I was a pony, what the fuck happened. I
looked at the bag that contained the liquid flowing into my arm. It was labelled ‘fluids- vitamins and water’. Well, whoever picked me up had it in the right mind to keep me alive. All I could describe my environment as was ‘welcoming’. The walls were a pale red, and the sheets were pure white. I had calmed down a bit now, but I was still breathing heavily.

That’s when the door to my right opened, and a pale green pony with a white mane walked in. Now, she wasn’t the exact same as the ponies in the show. By that I mean she was a wee bit more realistic. Depth, that was it. Depth and hair of the realistic kind. It was a little creepy seeing a real Equestrian pony for the first time. I mean, I’d spent my entire thirteen years of life around humans, and this was a big leap from that. “Well, I see that you’re finally awake. Took you about a day but your fine.” She said. She was an earth pony, with a star necklace-thingy for a cutie mark.
About then I did something I would regret. My muzzle started to create foul words and I started jabbering on about human life. School, friends, sex, violence, war, communism, rape, murder, bills, robberies, anything. Then the pony went and got one of the bottles, pulled out a couple of pills, shoved them down my throat and with that I felt really fuzzy inside. Then I felt limp and passed out.

Sooner or later I came around, and this time there was a doctor there. Just staring at me, observing me. Creeping me out. As soon as I saw him I jumped under the covers of the bed. The reason I knew he was a doctor was that he had one of those stupid looking lab coats on. Also for the few seconds I saw him he had that ‘doctor’s look’ on his face. Any of you ever noticed that doctors have their own little look when they know you are sick or hurt. It looks like they’re concentrating really hard, but without all those stupid looks others make when they concentrate. Anyway, now I was just under the covers chanting the word home, thinking that this alone could send me back to earth. “It’s ok to come out, little one. I’m not here to hurt you, only to talk.” The doctor made an attempt at a reassuring tone, which failed miserably. I wasn’t going out for anything right now. But I popped my head out after a while because I knew that the doctor and that mare were whispering. I pricked my little ears up to see if I could catch a snippet of what they were whispering about.

That’s when they noticed I was trying to eavesdrop, and came closer and by the looks of it they wanted to ask questions. I could see it in their eyes.

Now I knew I had to play this smart. If I said I was human I would never get out, if I even talked about humans I could be labelled as insane and be put in whatever asylum they have for the mad in Equestria. That wouldn’t do, I came here because I wished to be here and I got what I wished for. What I didn’t wish for is to be called insane and put away forever.
The doctor then decided to break my chain of thought. “Hello there, I’m Doctor Gardens, and I just want to talk to you. Is that ok?” Doctor Gardens swished a loose part of his… mane... damn this terminology, out of his face. I hesitated to talk to him, because I have a really don’t like doctors. Mainly because they are the people who give you needles. It made me queasy to look at the IV drip needle in my foreleg, anything bigger than that would probably make me pass out. On the topic of doctors, they like giving me needles. Back when I was human, I needed them a lot. I had a really weak immune system due to a medical condition that I developed as a baby.

“Well? Are you going to talk to me, or do you need some more time?” Doctor Gardens asked. He seemed to want me to talk in my own time. I looked at his purple coat and cinnamon mane. An odd combination of colours, but it seemed welcoming enough.

“Ok, I’m ready.” I literally spoke just above a whisper. The doctor had an intimidating effect on me, and I guess pony vocal chords were a bit different to human ones, and I was still adapting to my new form. It felt weird different limbs. Imagine you were on all fours, but instead of your palms spread apart, you were on your fists. Now you have a little idea of what it feels like. Vague maybe, but an idea nonetheless. Anyway, the doctor looked at me awkwardly for a second, and during that second I formulated a game plan. My plan was to only know my name and hope for the best.

“Little colt, what is your name?” his opening was nothing graceful verbally, but at least he was straight into it.

“Storm Cloud. Um, sir.” I quickly added the last bit to try and be polite. If I got on the good side of the doctor right from the start, maybe things would turn out better for me. From kindergarten I had sugar-coated everything I had said so the teachers would almost always be in my favour. Hopefully pony-kind are the same as my teachers.

“Ok Storm Cloud, how old are you?” and this one was the one I dreaded the most, and why my game plan was to only know my name. On earth a colt is a male horse one to four years of age, and a filly is the same but female. In Equestria, these age boundaries could have been stretched a fair bit.

“I can’t remember, sir.” My voice was only barely audible. I don’t know how I managed to ramble on about all that stuff from earth before that mare drugged me.

“Umm, ok. Storm Cloud, who are your parents?” he asked with the concern obvious in his voice. I answered the question the same as the last, along with school, home and other family. Doctor Gardens played with his cinnamon hair for a little before writing some stuff down on some paper that the mysterious mare had given him.

Now the doctor decided to answer questions instead of ask. “Storm, you are probably wondering how you got here?” I nodded vigorously. “Well, the owner of this establishment, a mare who does not wish to be named, found you while going for a stroll. You seemingly passed out on the road, although there were no signs of any physical trauma. She carried you here, and quickly set up this small medical station,” I gave him a questioning look. How could a simple mare get proper medical equipment? Then the doctor answered that question. “from supplies she picked up from the hospital. She was granted access as she is a nurse. She didn’t want to take you into the hospital here in Hoofington for some reason, but she did look after you well.” He gave me a worried glance.

Somepony knocked on the door, and a grey pegasus with crossed eyes walked in. She gave Doctor Gardens a letter and made a slightly… loud departure. I flinched as the pot fell down, only to be quickly snatched up by the mare that looked after me.

The doctor opened the letter carefully, and unfolded a large piece of paper. He produced a pair of spectacles from a pocket on his white lab coat and sat them in front of his eyes. As he read what could only be called a document of the official kind, he began to look even more worried. After his look could get more worried, there was still more to read.
He suddenly spoke. “Storm Cloud, are you curious as to what this piece of paper is?” He looked me in the eye, expecting a quick answer. I nodded slowly. Fear and anxiety began to rise from the pit of my stomach. “Storm, this is a reply to an inquiry I lodged yesterday evening. I am quite a prestigious doctor in Equestria, and after the nurse who picked you up told me about the situation, I lodged an inquiry into all the missing foals from the past month. These are records from all the provinces in Equestria. You’re not on the list, nor do you match the appearance of any of the foals on the list.” I saw despair in his eyes. I now felt nauseous from anxiety, and I really thought I needed a bucket for a second.

“As I see it, there is only one thing we can do with you.” He looked me in the eye once more before saying “I’m very sorry to say, but you need to go to an orphanage.”

Chapter 2

The orphanage sucked. It smelled, no reeked, of of vomit and unpleasntries. We, and by that I mean me and the other pegasi foals, were kept in rooms of eight, with four bunk beds in the room. That was all that was in the room.

Of all the places I could be, I had to be in the official Cloudsdale Orphanage. All pegasi foals found anywhere were sent here, doesn’t matter where they were found or what happened to them, if they were orphaned they were here.

The room was made of white clouds, but they had been stained a light brown from years of use. The bunk beds were basically really badly made cloud furniture. The funny thing was that clouds that were made here could be fashioned to have the properties of wood and look like overly bright polished marble, but they couldn’t fix the fact that they were rickety and not fit for use.

I was in a room with five other foals. Two fillies and three colts, all of which kept their distance. I didn’t pay attention to them either; I was focused on looking like the best to adopt. Once a week we were taken down to a town on the ground in little cages like the ones that you’d take your pet to the vet in. Rumours told that today we were going to Canterlot. If not, it would be a few months until a chance like this came along. Ponies in Canterlot were apparently more keen on adopting than making babies of their own.

I’d learnt everything that I knew by eavesdropping on my roommates. I was constantly practising puppy dog eyes in the shard of a mirror that I had found underneath one of the beds, as I needed every tool at my disposal to get adopted. Finding a family was my highest priority right now, because then I could live the dream. I could have a fun life with ponies and… really just that. I could live a life better than that of my human one.

Then my attention was stolen by a large pegasus colts hoof driving into my temple. I was thrown into the ground by the blow, and as I saw the larger colt come closer, fear welled inside my chest. My vision was beginning to swim and I had only been hit once. Then a red blur came and smashed me in the eye. I was tearing up but I refused to make a noise. I stood up shakily and looked through my good eye and saw a large red pegasi colt with a light blue mane charging towards me. I jumped to the side as quick as a flash and felt the adrenalin pump into my veins. I was still rickety, partially because I had been struck in the head twice, but mainly because I wasn’t used to walking on hooves yet. It was just weird, having spent so much time on feet, to try and adjust to a new primary form of locomotion.

Every thought in my mind was stolen by the pain that erupted behind my ears and I yelped in pain. I knew what was happening. This colt was basically leader of all the other orphans in the room, and it wasn’t a democracy. He was a tyrant, and he was exercising is complete control by smashing the new foal.

He stomped me in the back a few times before stopping and shouting something about not listening to him at the other foals. My vision was a blur, but I saw him go up to one of the two fillies and slap her in the face.

That had done it. Somepony can bash me as much as they like, but nobo- I mean pony, hurts fillies. That’s just abusive. I stood up, anger flowing through me, and yelled “Hey, you buckin’ prick! Don’t hit fillies like that!”

He turned at me and laughed, then charged towards me. He slammed me up against the wall and… well I’m just going to say punched, because I have no idea if it’s called a punch if it’s with a hoof. He punched me in gut a few times, then whispered in my ear “You think you rule the place even after I beat the living crap out of you?” it was funny he said that because that was the first time I had even spoke after entering the room a few days ago. He slammed be against the wall a few more times. That’s about the time he felt something sharp and pointy stab into his side. I yanked the red shard of mirror out of him and watched blood, slow but steady, flow out of the wound and stain the cloud floor red.

About an hour later, a group of pegasi came and shoved us in the pet cages. All except that one red colt. He was taken to hospital and was being treated for a stab wound, which I had inflicted upon him. After around an hour of waiting, we arrived at the adoption centre at Canterlot. I was let out of my cage and led in through the back door. To all my knowledge all I had attained from the fight was a black eyes and a minor concussion. I’d be fine, but my chances of being adopted may have taken a turn for better or worse. My black eyes could make ponies feel sorry for me and take me into their families, or the fancy Canterlot folk might think me a wild child and I shun me.

It didn’t really matter though, because I was cramped inside a really uncomfortable wooden ‘cage’. It had bars but no roof, so I could easily escape, but I was deterred from that as soon as I saw security and their scary looking tasers. I had a good idea what they were for, so I didn’t dare. Instead I pulled my best puppy dog eyes I cloud for every visitor coming into the adoption centre.

Yet nopony chose me. Nopony wanted the pegasus with the mane that swooped down one side of his face. Nopony wanted the colt with the black eye. Nopony wanted ME. Until a lone mare walked into the store and took a look around. Soon she saw me and went to the counter. She pointed a hoof at me and I was immediately let lifted out of the cage and set on the floor.

Chapter 3

“So, tell me what happened to your eye.” said Colgate. The blue mare was very kind. I knew this because she picked me, of all the foals in the center, to be her colt. Her hair was blue with an off white streak. I don’t know what exact colors they were, but I was a kid. Even when I was a teenage human, I was never good with colors. I was color blind.

“I was in the rooms they kept us in, up in Cloudsdale, and there was a colt who was being really mean to a filly,” I began to explain “he hurt her so I hurt him, and that’s how I hurt my eye.”

“Mhmm.” Was all I got in reply. I don’t know how it made her feel, but I couldn’t help feeling I had already disappointed the mare who had adopted me. We were sitting in Colgate’s house, in the living room. It was a medium size room, furnished with a couple of sofas, three armchairs, a coffee table of medium size and a few other things that you’d expect to find in a room like this. A fireplace crackled nearby, the flames intense. I decided to change the subject.

“Umm, what’s your job Colgate?” I asked, prepared for the most boring of conversations. If Equestria was anything like Earth, then this could be a long conversation about the elements of her job. If it was accounting or something, I’d probably be asleep by the end of it.

“I’m a dentist. It’s a good, well-paying job. The only downside is I have to look inside other ponies mouths all day, and trust me, you don’t wanna go in there.” She spoke like she didn’t dislike the profession, but didn’t overly enjoy it.

“That sounds fun!” I said enthusiastically. I was purposely playing stupid in order to sound my age, which was a young colt.

“It can be, but sometimes I wish I had a different job. Dentistry is the only thing I know.” She seemed a little sad.

“Like what?” I asked. I wanted to learn about Colgate’s personality. Or would it be ponyality? I don’t know anymore.

“I don’t really know, but let’s not dwell on it. I have a good change of pace now, I get to look after you!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah!” I said half-heartedly. Don’t get me wrong, I was ecstatic about being adopted by Colgate, but it was a hard thing. I was slowly losing my memories of Earth, my old family, those times when I found the scotch and… yeah that’s about everything.

“First thing, we need to set up your room. You probably don’t wanna sleep on the floor.” She motioned her hoof towards the floorboards. They didn’t look comfortable.

“No, the floor doesn’t look comfortable.” I replied “Which room do I sleep in?”

“I had a room for you before I came to pick you up.” Yeah, right. You had a room set up for whoever you adopted. I wasn’t going to say that though. Then there was a knock at the door.

Colgate and I were standing in front of one Lyra Heartstrings. The sea-foam unicorn was smiling and seemingly in a good mood. I noticed that her teeth were sparkling white, as if they were polished marble.

“Hiya Colgate!” she said “I came up for a visit. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, no, no, of course not Lyra! Come in, come in.” Colgate said. She closed the wooden door behind Lyra with her magic.

Lyra suddenly eyed me “Who’s this? He looks cute.”

Colgate made a weird face, like she didn’t know what to say. I blushed at the word cute. After around ten seconds Colgate spoke up “Well, he’s the new addition to my family. Lyra, this is Storm Cloud, Storm Cloud, this is Lyra.” I looked up at the unicorn, staring into her golden eyes. Goddamn, did I have eyes that big?

“Wait, you adopted him?” Lyra asked, shock obvious in her voice.

“Yes, I thought that much would be obvious. I’m without a stallion, you know that much.” Colgate gave Lyra a serious look.

“That’s… pretty cool!” Lyra’s smile widened and she looked over me. I felt small. “And it’s a bonus that he’s sooooo cute!” I myself was growing slightly uncomfortable.

“I went and picked him up today, and sweet Celestia, the orphanage was cramped.” Colgate wasn’t wrong there. The place was pretty full. I’m happy I got a cage of my own.

“I’d imagine. Colgate, can we speak in private for a minute?” Lyra’s smile seemed forced now. She seemed nervous.

“Yes, of course. Storm, can you go wait in the living room while I talk to Lyra please?” she looked in the direction of the living room.

“Ok, I’ll leave you guys alone to talk.” I said as I walked into the living room. I sat down on one of the sofas and waited patiently.

After around five minutes I began to fidget. Their conversation seemed to drag on for an eternity. I wasn’t what you might call a ‘patient’ pers- errr… pony. I also had a bad habit of sticky-beaking. I was dying to know what the two mares were talking about. I moved my ears, something I couldn’t do before, to try and hear what Lyra and Colgate were talking about. All I heard was muffled voices. One of them seemed annoyed, that being Colgate’s.

Then came yelling. “Lyra! You came all the way from Ponyville to ask me about fairytale creatures’ teeth?!” Colgate didn’t seem impressed.

I trotted closer to the door to try and hear a little more. “…to know, for research!” Lyra complained.

“For the very last time Lyra, I don’t know anything about human teeth!” Colgate yelled. I heard a sigh “Anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, yes. If you mean things that aren’t about humans, yes.” Lyra suddenly sounded a little more serious.

“Good, I thought you just came to goof around. What is it?”

“Well, first of all, I forgot when my next appointment is. Can you refresh my mind?” Lyra asked.

“Easy,” said Colgate “it’s in five days.”

“How do you remember all this stuff again?”

Colgate didn’t answer that question. “Anything else?”

“Weeeeelll…” all I heard was mumbling, so I went and sat down on the sofa again. That was probably private stuff I didn’t need to know. Five seconds later I was fidgeting again.

About ten minutes of annoying fidgeting later, Colgate bid Lyra farewell and came into the living room. I was right in the middle of distracting myself by staring at a boring painting of a cottage on a luscious green hill. I almost jumped out of my skin when she opened the door.

“Storm Cloud, I’m back. Where were we again?”

I thought for a millisecond and remembered. “My bedroom, I think.”

Colgate had an imaginary light bulb above her head. “Oh, of course. Follow me!”

She led me through a door and into a hallway that was about ten meters long. There were three doors on either side. One was painted white, all the others were wooden and their original light brown. We stopped third on the right.

“Here we are.” Colgate announced as she opened the door. I peered inside the room I would be staying in. It was small, around six by five meters. The walls were a beautiful pale blue, as was the roof. The floor was the same wooden floorboards as the rest of the house, except the varnish seemed a little less warn. The… I mean my room, was simply furnished. It contained a single bed and bedside table, a dresser, a small desk with a chair and a bookshelf with a variety of books. I grinned.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” There were tears in my eyes as I hugged Colgate.

*Le unfortunate Authors note.

*Le unfortunate Authors note.

Oh noes! My mother deleted chapter four when I left the computer on. NOOOOOOOOOO!

I was going to bring it out today celebrating 500 views (THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH) but I'll be working as fast as I can to get Chapter 4 out.

Thank you for being patient,

LSC

Chapter 5

A/N: This is actually chapter 4, but meh. I got this out when I could. ENJOY!

Two weeks. Two weeks, no bacon. No meat for that matter. It was like a curfew. Actually, it was worse trying to not let my mouth run. I was successful so far. Not a word out of place, except the occasional stopping halfway through a word, then correcting myself. You know, like this: wo-mare. Annoying, it was.

Here’s a recap of the past couple of weeks. After I woke up on the first morning, I gracefully stepped out of bed. By ‘gracefully’, I meant I fell out of bed and was tangled in the sheets. Colgate had to help me out of my mess. There was a repeat of this the next morning, until I found a trick that got me out. First, I’d lean up; next I would swivel to the side on my flank slowly, pull the blanket off me, and then lean forward until I fell on my forehooves and land with some sort of grace.

I was happy when I learnt that ponies had cereal. Basically, living with a dentist meant you don’t get all those sugary cereals, but I got Cheerios! Well, they were called Hay-O’s but I wasn’t going to complain. They were basically the same thing, and they were good too. Colgate would help me make them, because pegasus and earth ponies have a little trouble with getting the milk and cereal in the bowl. Colgate, being a unicorn, had no trouble at all.

Toilets. Toilets, they were weird to say the least. There was porcelain, there was a roll of toilet paper. It was built into the ground, the bowl and seat. Basically, you’d sit on the ground and do your business. Then you’d wipe. That was the hard part, wiping. The really hard part, because getting a piece of flat paper between your hind legs is hard. But enough on toilets, you probably don’t want details on how to get something between your hind legs.

Brushing your teeth, flossing and anything else tooth-related happened three times a day in Colgate’s home. Wake up, breakfast, brush and floss. That was my morning routine. It was also Colgate’s morning routine. Then, on weekdays, Colgate would go to work. I however, would be left with the creepiest foalsitter ever. Her name was Sparkling Skies, and she had a smile that defies physics. I swear it stretches past her orange coated face, above her curly green mane and through the time-space continuum.

Besides the baby- I mean foalsitter, and toilets, everything was fine. Until school which was starting tomorrow. First Monday in February was the start of the school year, and I wasn’t very keen on doing eighty percent of school all over again. Colgate told me I the orphanage said I was built and looked around the age of six which was the age fillies and colts start school. I’d go to school for six years, and on my twelfth birthday I’d be counted as an adult. I’d be of age and probably be able to do all the things any human adult could do.

I woke up, knowing well what was happening today. Today was the first day of the Equestrian school year, and very possibly the very start of my Equestrian life proper. There was not a doubt in my mind that I would get into a fight. I was not what you could call a social butterfly. I would most definitely get beaten up, probably sometime in the next three days.

I swiveled out of bed and pretty much fell flat on my face. Brushing the small amount of pain aside, I began to trot down the kitchen. On the way down the hall I eyed the white door. I still didn’t know what was in there. I assured myself it was probably Colgate’s private study or something.

Entering the kitchen I saw Colgate. She was making something for breakfast. I heard an egg timer ticking. She turned around in a pink frilly apron and greeted me.

“Morning, Storm. Excited about your first day of school?” BAM! She hit me with the question that I had expected for the past four days now. My answer was a big fat lie.

“Of course! It’s gonna be sooooo cool!” I replied with fake enthusiasm. I’m glad she didn’t notice.

“Well, I just know you’re going to have lots of fun. I did on my first day of school.” Please don’t tell me a story, because that would really, really make me nervous. “In fact there was this one time…”

It took all my willpower not to yell at her, sigh or yawn. As the egg timer slowly ticked, she told me a story about her school days as a little filly. Now don’t get me wrong, I actually loved Colgate, but her stories were boring. They made time slow, which was the exact opposite of what I wanted right now. It gave me more time to be nervous about my first day at a pony school.

As she reached the climax of her story, that being some random filly tripping over and spilling her drink or something, the egg timer sounded. It was loud, and it scared me so much I almost wet my (metaphoric) pants. I used jumping as a much cleaner alternative.

“Oh good, the pie’s ready!” Colgate didn’t even blink at the sound of the timer. It was deafening, to me at least.

“So that’s what you were making!” I had no idea what she was cooking, or now I knew, baking before she had said the word ‘pie’.

“I thought you should have a special breakfast on the first day of school, so you can do your best!” she said as she spread her pale blue aura around to remove the pie from the oven. Damn I wish I could do that.

We sat and we shared a really nice pie. I had absolutely NO idea what was in it, but geez it was good. It was sweet and moist, the two things I like in pie. Suddenly, waiting an eternity for breakfast didn’t seem that bad.

School was bad. Or it was so far. Canterlot Public School, you’d think it’d be a friendly place. It wasn’t at all. The second I lay hoof in the door, I was assaulted by a barrage of spitballs. My first job at school was to find the library, so I get… well I’m not sure yet. By the looks of pale yellow hallways, ponies didn’t get primary school. They go straight to junior high. I was guessing I’d have a locker next to two ponies I’d never want to be next to anywhere.

I looked up and saw that the roof was, not to my surprise, covered in spitballs. And somehow, what seemed to be chewing gum. I wondered how that’d get up there, but then I remembered. Pegasi. Ponies with wings.

The place smelled the way I expected it to. Sweaty socks and curry, but add one hundred percent more horse. As I walked through the halls, I thought I’d have an epileptic seizure. I was painted rainbows, but with more colors. Ponies had such a range of possible colors. The carpet did match the drapes, in all cases here. Maybe they did have mane dye, but you wouldn’t notice it here.

After wandering through halls with literal hundreds of fillies and colts, I found the library. To my surprise, it was actually quiet. Another surprise. More books than I had ever thought could be in one place. My jaw was agape.

“This surprises you? Then you should see the Royal Canterlot Archives. They’re around twenty times as big.” I jumped. I swear half these voices were in my head, they surprised me that often.

I turned around to see a stallion wearing black framed square glasses. He had a short cropped mane in the color of purple, and a mint green coat. I swear, Equestria has ALL the color combinations. His cutie mark was a hardcover book. Better say something quick, he’s staring into my soul.

“Uhhhhhh… hi.” I said just above a whisper. First friendly pony I meet, I’m too scared to talk to. Damnations.

“Hello there, I’m Mr. Books,” no surprise there “ Sorted Books, to be precise.” Equestria also has all the names.

“Um, I’m Storm Cloud. I’m new here, I guess.” Wow, I am the best at introductions, aren’t I.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’m guessing you’re in 1st Grade?”

“Yeah, you guessed right.” Finally, a reply with some wit.

“Then you most definitely have come to the right place. Please be seated over there, in the middle of the library, somepony will be here to make some long, boring speech soon.” He pointed a hoof in the direction of where I was meant to go.

“Thank you, sir.” I said as I trotted off, more confident than five minutes ago.

I saw a large group of foals where Mr. Books had specified. Blues, reds, greens, purples, yellows and all the other colors you could image were seated in a large clearing in between the bookshelves. There were blacks, whites, fluorescents and I could swear a few transparents. Wait, that’s just my imagination.

I sat myself to the side a little, about thirty centimeters away from the nearest pony. I admit, my stomach was full of butterflies. When I said that in front of Sparkling Skies she said that it must be good. To all my knowledge, I think saying ‘I feel like there’s parasprites in my stomach’ would be the right thing to say, but hey, I was sticking to what I knew.

Then another pony struck up a conversation with me. Not just conversation, but the back of my head too. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you ok?! I tripped, sorry, sorry!”

The yellow colt in front of me was panicking. As I lifted my dazed form up from the ground I saw his fluorescent green mane, styled in a spiky fashion, and the most panicked look on his face.

“I’m ok, it’s ok. I’m not hurt. Hopefully…” I muttered the last word under my breath so he didn’t hear. I could tell he was a guy because, well… let’s just put it this way. Ponies don’t wear clothes. Hey, I wasn’t trying to look, he just tripped over my head and was now half-sprawled in front of me.

“Oh thank Celestia. I thought I really hurt you there. Sorry again, the name’s Flickers.” He held out a hoof.

“Storm Cloud, and it’s fine. I’m not hurt.” Queue headache. Maybe he did hurt me. I groggily shook his hoof. I dunno how it works, but with hooves, you can actually grip things. Like GRIP grip. Not the same as hands, much more clumsy, but they get the job done in most cases.

He gasped “Storm Cloud? As in the one my dentist was talking about the other day? She talked about you half my appointment. I was getting fillings you see…” and once again, intermission. It seemed Colgate had given me a reputation, and hopefully a good one at that. Getting fillings seemed to be a very boring experience, so as Flickers sat next to me and told me the WHOLE story, I just nodded and made some ‘ooh’s and ‘mmhhm’s.

As he finished up his story, a snobby looking grey unicorn stood up the front of the crowd and yelled “Silence!” The floor would have been graced with a foul smelling liquid if my bladder wasn’t empty.

“Ahem, thank you. Welcome, fillies and colts. This is undoubtedly your first day ever at Canterlot Public School. Here you will learn tools that will help you in your life, things such as mathematics, literature, history, for unicorns, magic, and for pegasi, flying. I am your principal, Mrs. Days, and I oversee the curriculum and basically, the entire school facility.” She neatened her impeccably straight maroon mane. Her pink eyes seemed to sneer. I had a feeling me and Mrs. Days would know each other quite well by the end of the year.

“I will explain a basic day to you. When the first bell at the beginning of the day sounds you will go to your homeroom. There you will be briefed with any important information. After fifteen minutes, another bell will sound. This signifies the time to go to first period. Every period lasts one hour. Another bell will sound at the end of first period, signifying recess.” I’m guessing this is the time where shenanigans will begin. Mrs. Days adjusted her spectacles.

“Recess is a short, twenty-five minute break, in which you can eat, drink, use the bathroom, socialize and have some time to exercise. After recess is over, you will go to second period. After second period, you will go to third.” Two hours of learning. Great, just great.

“Then, a bell for lunch will sound. Lunch lasts an hour, and in essence, is an extended recess. If you have somehow earned a lunch-time detention, you will attend it.” Lots of emphasis on the word will, there Days. “Then you will go to fourth and fifth period, and after they are over, a bell for home time will sound. You will then leave the school premises, or if you have obtained one, attend an after school detention. These take place in room thirteen directly after the final bell.”

All I could say is it was going to be a long year.

After our little meeting with Mrs. Days, we were all given a sheet of paper and a combination lock. The sheet of paper was a timetable. On it were all of our classes for the week. It repeated every week. It seemed like an awful lot of information and responsibility for young ponies. We were told to go choose a locker, and that books and stationary would be contained in there. Flickers and I managed to snag lockers next to each other. I checked my timetable to see what class I had first. Mathematics in room thirty-two. I groaned. Maths, forever the bane of fun.

“What ya groaning about, Stormy?” asked Flickers, who already had a nickname for me.

“I have maths first period. What do you have?”

“History, in room forty. I guess I’ll see you at recess.” He began to walk off.

“Wait! What do you have second period?” I asked, maybe a little too desperately. I really wanted to be with somepony I could call a friend in at least one of my classes.

“Uhhhh, Equestrian. You?”

I checked my timetable “Same.”

We wouldn’t attend homeroom on the first day of school, but I sure as heck wish I wasn’t doing maths. I quickly found room thirty-two and opened the door to find I was one of the lucky first foals to arrive. There were only three other ponies in the pale blue room with the scratchy shag carpeting, two colts and the teacher. I sat down in the third row, put my saddle-bags on the floor, and waited a short while.

A few minutes later, fillies and colts began pouring in the room. I was lucky I didn’t have epilepsy, or I would have seizured all over the classroom. They filled the class quickly, from the first row to the fourth. The amount of noise was immense, like one hundred elephants trumpeting. A pale blue unicorn sat on my left, and a red earth pony on my right. Both had light blue manes.

The teacher was a light brown unicorn with an aqua mane styled in a bowl cut. He had a look about him, one that was shy. Quiet was possibly a better look.

“Uh, class, if you could be quiet and seated please…” he didn’t even make a dent in the loud chattering in the classroom. I could barely hear him.

“Quiet please!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. He obviously didn’t have very big lungs, but the unicorn managed to get the attention he sought. The class quieted down.

“Thank you. Ahem, good morning class, I am Mr. Decimal, your mathematics teacher.” He began to pace around the room, eyeing each and every one of the pupils with his own, including me.

“I have few expectations. One of them is simple, do not speak while I am speaking.” As he said this he put his hoof in between to talking fillies, who then fell silent.

“Another is that you respect me and your peers. No bullying or instant detention. The final is that you get you work done on time.” He put a lot of emphasis on the last two words. He seemed shy and quiet, but now I had seen the cold, serious side of him, I was going to try and live up to those expectations.

He suddenly lightened the mood. “Well, let’s get down to business, shall we?” He used his magic to put a sheet of paper on everypony’s desk. I looked at the one on front of me. It had numbers on it.

“You should all know some basic mathematic skills, all I ask is that this sheet be done by the end of the lesson.” He looked around the room. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get started!” he said enthusiastically.

I picked up my pencil in my mouth and began answering the questions. Fourteen plus six. Easy, twenty. My chicken scratch mouth writing was almost unintelligible scrawl. I just wish the teacher could read it.

When the bell for recess rang, the students piled out of room thirty-two. I trotted out after all the students, as I was keen not to be crushed. I was glad that first period was over. The red colt next to me kept asking me what the answers were, and it started to bug me after about five minutes. I’ll have to remember not to sit next to him again.

I went to my locker and dumped my stuff in there, then grabbed an apple out of my saddle bag. I stood there waiting for Flickers to get here. Flickers turned up after a couple of minutes waiting.

“Sorry I’m a little late, I got held up.” He patted down his mane a little.

“What happened?” I asked. Curious me was curious.

“Weeeellll, I just happened to make a mess in class. I knocked over all the books in the bookshelf, so I had to clean them up.” He said sheepishly. I didn’t even want to know how he managed that.

“Well, ok then. Grab your food and let’s find something fun to do.” As I said that, we were approached by the red earth pony from maths, and he had friends.

Chapter 6

A/N: I used this chapter to spice up the story a little, plus i know how much you love cliffhangers, so I put in another

Now, the red earth colt didn’t looks happy. In fact, I can say he looked like I shoved a bee down his throat and now he was beat the living shit out of me. Now that I think about it, I should have given him the answers.

“So, this kid thinks he can get away with not giving me, of all the ponies in Equestria, help in maths?” geez this colt reminded me so much of Diamond Tiara, except he wasn’t adorable in any way. He was mean and pretty much ugly.

“Yep, pretty much.” Dammit brain! Don’t get cocky!

“Really” he said as he slammed me up against the lockers. I can’t say it hurt too much, but the look I saw when I looked into his eyes wasn’t nice. Understatement right there, folks. Let’s just say that it was the worst possible thing to look into.
They were the orbs of the devil. They were pretty much the angriest pair of hazel eyes you ever saw.

He continued his sentence “Because I think next time you’ll help me. I’m gonna ask nicely.”

What he did next blew my mind completely.

“PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!” he begged. My jaw hung open like a cave. Did he just say please? No, not say, whine the word please. He dropped to his knees and gave me, I hate to say it, the most adorable puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen on a male creature.

“Please please please please pleeeee-eeee-eeeeaseeee!” Only one thought came to mind right now.

WHAT THE FUCK?

And you thought you were gonna get bashed.

Shut up, brain. I probably was going to and you know it. Now get me to say something.

“Uhh, ok.” Was the best it could come up with for me to say.

The colt regained his composure, stood up and looked at me. “Thank you.” He said. He turned around and his buddies walked off with him.

I was thoroughly confused. How this one colt could suddenly change from mean and snobby to something pathetic and,
I still hate to say, adorable. It must be a tactic I thought. He confused me so that I’d help him. He couldn’t be that soft. He had an entourage and stuff. What if it wasn’t a guise though?

“Soooooo, what was that about?” Flickers asked, looking completely confused.

“I was about to ask you the exact same question.”

The rest of recess consisted completely of an awkward silence and eating food. It passed quickly enough. Then the second period of learning came along, Equestrian. To me, it sounded like any sport to do with horses, but I was corrected quickly by Flickers. It was English class all over again.

Flickers and I sat down in the middle row next to each other. A teacher was at the front of the room. She had a blue mane and a mint green coat and was writing a few sentences up on the blackboard.

I decided instead of participating in some idle chit-chat with Flickers, I’d get ahead on work and see what the teacher was writing. Like a lot of the staff I saw at this school, she was a unicorn, and as I saw what she was writing, I was confused again. This is what I saw.

Sparkles. a regular pegasus. went to the market, She decided to buy a carrot. an apple. a cherry and some daisies,

Once again I was cursing, confused, in my head. Comma spaces the sentence, period finishes it, right? Once again, Equestrian antics had confused me.

“Quiet please, class!” the teacher called. The class fell silent quickly, unlike in mathematics where the entire class kept on chattering.

“Thank you. Class, I am your Equestrian teacher, Mrs. Shine. I’m hoping you all know a little about Equestrian. Who knows the alphabet?” she grinned as everypony in the class raised their hoof, including me. Hopefully, the Equestrian alphabet was the same as the English or the Russian alphabet, or my hoof in the air was one fat lie.

“Good. To start the lesson, how about we recite it? Three, two…” Now or never I guess. Or I could do it goldfish style, fake it and hope for the best.

“One.”

The whole class erupted in the jolly tune I remember from kindergarten, the one that went along the lines of this:

“A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O P, Q R S, T U V, W X, Y AND Z!”

The noise was deafening. Why are children always enthusiastic? Small children make loud noises. Why! This world was messed up. The six year olds of the world get enough responsibility to have a locker, timetable and everything else some human around the age of fourteen gets in their first year of school. Why then, do they have to be taught like a kid in second grade? Why have they been given this responsibility if they are still in a hyperactive state of enthusiasm and too much red cordial?

My contemplation of this strange world was stopped by the teacher talking again “Good class! I think now we’ll do a little bit of grammar. You all seem capable of simple sentences. Who knows how to write? In full sentences?” More raised hooves, but only around eight of the fifteen, maybe sixteen young ponies were raised. Mine was one of them, as was Flickers. Those who didn’t have their hoof raised seemed a little embarrassed, and among some of the lighter coated ones you could see bright red on their cheeks.

“I guess it’s better than none. Let’s start with how to write. On the board I’ve written a sentence. Can somepony read it out for me?” she asked. A few hooves were raised. Mrs. Shine went over the hooves that were raised. I shrunk down a little, just in case she was one of those teachers who always pick someone with their hand, or hoof in this case, down.

She took one look at me and the look in her eyes told me that she was thinking one of two things: ‘Oh what a wonderful child, I think he will most definitely have the answer’ or ‘Oh, another child to pick on’.

She pointed a hoof at me and said “You there, Storm Cloud isn’t it? Can you please read the sentence on the board please?”

“Uh, yeah I guess.” I answered. I read over the sentence that I saw before and then read it out aloud. “Sparkles, a regular pegasus, went to the market. She decided to buy a carrot, an apple, a cherry and some daisies.” Well, I thought, at least you didn’t stutter.

“Great! Now, can you tell me what goes at the start and end of every sentence?” This question was one that tended to come around a lot. The answer was embedded in my mind, as it had been since first grade.

“Capital letter and period.”

“You have the capital letter right, but a period doesn’t go at the end of a sentence. It’s a simple mistake to make, but-” I cut her off, in hindsight it was rude, but I didn’t care at the time.

I was as stubborn as a mule when it came to intellectual things. If I thought something was right, I’d fight for my answer being the correct one no matter what. Even after someone proved me wrong, I’d say I was right.

“I think you’re wrong. A period goes at the end of a sentence.” I said flatly.

“Storm, it’s my job to teach you Equestrian. I’ll tell you now that a comma goes at the end of a sentence, not a period.” Mrs. Shine assured me.

“And as a pupil of this school, I think it my duty to correct you.”

“Storm Cloud, listen to me. To avoid detention, you should acknowledge me. A comma goes at the end of a sentence.”

My brain told me to stop and listen to the teacher from there. My gut, pride and honor said otherwise. My heart stayed out of the matter, for it knew this wasn’t the time nor place to get involved. “A period goes at the end of a sentence, Mrs. Shine. Period.” Out of the corner of my eye, I spied many looks, most being that of either admiration for me defying a teacher or pity because I was probably going to get one hell of a punishment. Flickers looked dumbfounded, however.

“Storm, out of the room. Now.” She had the ‘serious business’ look on her face. I could tempt fate and continue the argument, or I could obey and only get a scolding.

So I called her a bitch.