I'm so...

by sejox

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Drama, Spike
Length: 16607

As a long mission takes Spike's best friend away from him, the young dragon must remain strong and fight against his depression while hoping for them to come back.

Spike has endured being alone before. be it a couple of hours or some days, it didn't matter to him while he was an obnoxious child.

But that changed with the pass of time, he learned how precious life really is. how beautiful is to have a place to call home inside the hearts of the ones that you love. And most importantly, how difficult is to live without them.

Now Spike has to bear his feelings and fears, as a mission of friendship takes his friends through a journey. A long journey which seems to have no end.

Note: I'm currently searching for an editor to help me out with chapters two and three.
Second Note: thanks to the watcher of all for helping me with future corrections.

Published 2017-10-12 01:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-19 23:04:45 UTC

Lonely

Lonely

Bright crystals that reflected anything near them, a pristine marble floor which shined like the chandeliers from above, windows that were so clean that could, if not by their green color, be mistaken as open holes inside the castle.

The castle of friendship was the dream of every compulsive cleaner in the universe. And in the center of that huge palace, a little dragon stood proud of his work.

“Twilight will love to see the way I kept this place while she was on her mission,” the dragon said. “Good job Spike, I’m so proud of you, my number one assistant!” Spike narrated while mimicking his best friend tone.

The young drake stood silent for a moment, his eyes glancing towards the sky as he pictured his best friend patting his head slowly, tenderly heating his scales with her warm touch. However, his daydreaming was interrupted by a sudden thought.

‘It has been a whole month already…’

Spike closed his eyes and sighed heavily before turning to the kitchen entrance. He needed to eat something to regain all the energy wasted on the cleaning. Once inside he started looking inside the kitchen’s cupboard, noticing in the process a dandelion flavored flour that made him tilt his head as an idea popped into his mind. He took it without hesitation and started to look at it, his eyes fixated in the white package with dandelion adornments.

“Starlight and Fluttershy always loved the food I made with this…” he said with a soft tone. The memories from past parties and nights on the castle played back at him, making him happy once again.

Now with a toothy grin adorning his face, he took his apron, ingredients and a bowl filled with emeralds. In less than a minute he was ready to cook his first meal of the day.

“Let’s try some emeralds with a crispy contexture, hopefully, the dandelions will give them a sweet flavor,” He cheered.

And so, the little dragon started moving, going left and right as he prepared his dish, his smile ever-present on his face while he worked to his heart content. Minutes passed away shortly in front of his eyes while his mind drifted away.

However, his enjoyment didn’t last. Once he stopped moving he noticed that his work was already finished: His food was already made and only needed to be served. And so he did, he served it on a bowl and made his way to the map room, leaving his pink apron on the knob of the door on his way out.

Upon arriving to the map room, he went towards his chair while giving another good look at his previous work. It was a delightful sight for him, from the floor to the ceiling, then the walls and… the map.

Spike stooped near the map, just a couple of inches from his chair, seven cutiemarks levitating above him. Spike placed the bowl of gems on the table and stared at the illusion provided by the map. Seconds passed swiftly as he kept his eyes focused on the marks that represented his friends.

And silence soon found his way back, turning down the swift smile of the dragon as he kept his eyes focused on the show of colors and figures in front of him. His claws gripped the table tightly.

“I hope they’re safe” he whispered before finally turning his sight away from the map. He took his bowl again and sat on his chair. He took a whole emerald and throw it in his mouth, shattering sounds following his act as his teeth crushed the solid gem the same way anypony will do to a toasted sandwich.

... Nothing else was happening, it was just him and the castle. There were no chores from Twilight, nor trips with Pinkie or Rainbow or Starlight. Rarity, Applejack and Flutershy weren’t there to be helped if they needed neither.

It was just him and his bowl of gems… each gem being picked slower each time as the dragon munched slowly, careless, almost lifeless.

‘I outdid myself this time…’

‘But… why?’

‘Why I can’t enjoy this delicious food?’

He swallowed the gem and patted his stomach, a growling sound coming from it soon after, but despite his body signals, he felt no hunger to be satiated. He turned his head up in deep though and placed the bowl once again on the table.

“Maybe... I just need some fresh air…”

He took the bowl and went to the kitchen to save it for later before making his way out of the castle. Once outside he recognized two friendly faces, Bonbon and Lyra. The duo was having a conversation while going to the Ponyville’s market.

Spike looked from afar at the duo, he smiled while watching them go as the sight made him feel a warm and fuzzy feeling inside him. He placed a claw on his chest, savoring the familiar feeling for a moment before a quick though crossed his mind. Without giving it a second thought he ran towards them, his hand waving with enthusiasm.

“Hey girls!” He shouted from afar, “Good morning to you two,” he greeted in an excited tone.

“Good morning, Spike,” Lyra cheered, “How has been everything?”

“Well, it’s really boring inside the castle and almost no one in Ponyville goes to the library so it gets pretty lonely,” he explained “do you mind if I keep around with you two for a moment? I need a change of air… the cleaner the better...” he said while rubbing the back of his head, “I tell you, it feels like books can breathe dust and dirt.”

Bonbon gave a sympathetic smiled to the little dragon, “It must be hard for you. All of your best friends have gone for quite some time…”

“Yeah,” Lyra interrupted, “It must be harsh. Can’t imagine what will come of me without Bonbon by my side.”

“Jeez, thanks for reminding me,” Spike commented bitterly, his eyes snapping away from the ponies’ sight.

Bonbon and Lyra backed off, their expression turning stern after hearing the dragon’s mean words. It was at that moment that he noticed how awful his words were and snapped back to the mares, “Sorry!” he exclaimed. “I just… ” He paused for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh. “Like I said, I need to take a breath. Being alone in the library it’s really boring. Even more if you finish to read the only books that are actually interesting, like I did a couple of days ago… Sorry for being mean earlier…”

Spike was interrupted then by the warm touch of Lyra’s hoof as she caressed the young dragons head. “Don’t worry buddy, you can follow us, I was about to show Bonbon a new song I just finished yesterday.”

Spike nodded to his words and a smile found its way back to his features. Soon after the trio found a nice and comfortable place in one of the benches near the roadside that headed to the skirts of Ponyville.

Excited to show off her new song, Lyra wasted no time in taking her instrument. Lost in the joy of showing her new invention she deceived herself from the rest of the world as she started to play. The product of her work didn’t take long to make an effect on her friends, as the beauty provided by the strings of her lira made Bonbon close her eyes and follow the music, her body swaying from left to right.

Spike by the other hand had an awestruck expression, his mind lost and fascinated. Not only by the sound of the music but mostly because how Lyra seemed to glisten in her own glory.

‘Is like watching at Rainbow Dash after a successful stunt.’

A single tear trailed down a line on Spike’s face, but he didn’t notice, his mind adrift inside the magnificence work that came from the musician.

‘Reminds me of Rarity, zoned inside her work. Giving everything she has to the thing she loves to do; to the point that you can feel that even her soul is putting its effort and love into the mix.’

Another tear traveled down the drakes jaw before he could close his eyes and enjoy the peaceful concert just like his partner was doing. And so, he danced, smiled and forgot everything that troubled him, but remembered everything he loved.

Unfortunately, things are bound to end no matter how magnificent or perfect they are. Lyra’s song wasn’t an exception to the rule. Once finished the duo cheered at the display of their friend while she bowed.

“That was beautiful Lyra, are you planning to show that song in Canterlot?” Spike asked.

“Yes, Spike, It’s something for a meet up. Octavia and Vinyl will bring something too,” she explained while packing her instrument.

“It’s going to be something public? Because I totally want to go,” Bonbon asked, her question was answered with a cheerful nod from her friend.

“Shoots. I will like to go too but someone has to watch for the castle and the library,” Spike added before going back to his feet. “Which reminds me… I need to open the library section of the castle. Thanks for the show again!” He waved his goodbyes. “See you later girls!”

The mares waved back at him cheerfully before going back to the dirt road that leaded to the market

“I hope the girls are fine. This is the first time a mission last for so long.” Bonbon said to her friend.

“Yeah, it has been a whole month… If I were Spike I will be crazy to go where they are right now… but he already told me about how the map works,” Lyra paused for a moment, her eyes locked on the distant figure of the little drake. “He can only wait and pray for the best to happen.”

Castle of friendship - Library Section

Spike was sitting on one of the ‘comfy lecture chairs’ as Twilight called them. The bowl of gems from the morning resting on his left side half empty. His arms moved on its own, providing him with food while his mind and eyes were focused on the main door.

“The Canterlot library was easier to handle…” he muttered before taking another mouthful of gems.

The door suddenly swung open, a group of ponies at the entrance, their leader a red-coated earth stallion, his calm expression and solemn smile giving an instant relief to Spike’s tense body.

“Big Mac!” Spike cheered. “Glad you are here, and I thought I will be here alone until afternoon like yesterday. This place can drive you crazy sometimes,” the purple dragon explained while trotting towards his friend. “What brought you here? And who are those… Oh! The whole Apple family, you are welcome to the library too, please come in! How can I help you?”

Big Mac snickered slightly.

“Take it easy, Spike, you sound overexcited, we just need some books. A part of the Apple family wants to make themselves a place in the Crystal Empire and they need to know anything they can about the kingdom and their terrain.” A deep voice said, but Big Mac wasn’t the one speaking.

Spike arched a brow, “What in- Big Mac was that your voice? Because it-” he asked before noticing a bright yellow hoof waving in front of him. Spike turned to the side, the little Apple Bloom frowning at him.

“And I need that book we used when the girls got infected with the joke’s pollen” She pouted.

Spike laughed at the little filly infortune before signaling the group to following him “I-“he tapped his mouth to mute his snickers. “The book you are-“he did it again, but couldn’t suppress his own laughs as good as before. “Oh dear Celestia, And I thought Flutterbold was hilarious!” He blurted out, finally laughing to his heart. “Oh, holy moly...”he panted, “Sorry, let me guide y’all to the Crystal Empire section. You are lucky that Twilight thought about …”

Spike stopped talking for a moment, his feet still on the move. He breathed deeply and recomposed himself before his friends could question him about the sudden pause, “Sorry I just lost myself for a moment. We are getting close, remember not to get lost in the library. You could end up inside the castle and that place is like a maze for newcomers.”

Big Mac doubled his pace, lowering his head as he asked: “Are you okay Spike?”

Apple Bloom followed her brother and added: “You sounded a little sad back there…”

“Is nothing. I just drifted off for a moment,” Spike said with a calm tone, his feet stopping not a second later. “And here it is!” he announced, signaling the hall in front of him, a two stores tall section with two rows of crystal bookshelves, “The crystal Empire section.”

Spike turned to the group. “I know exactly the books that you need, but I need to help Colt Bloom first” he joked with a toothy grin, earning yet another frown from his friend, “I will recommend you to begin reading about the crystal culture while I help her, the history, folklore and culture sections are in the third and second bookshelf at the left.” He pointed out before signaling an angry Apple Bloom to follow him.

Spike was sitting on the soft carpet of the library, watching how the Apple family nourished themselves with knowledge, how Apple Bloom was taking care of her sickness, how all around him seemed to radiate joy even though the place was as calm as a library could be.

‘This feels like the old days…’

But he wasn’t smiling, his whole mind was lost in something else, something outside of that little peaceful paradise. He exhaled a tiny flame, from which a scroll and quill were summoned.

‘Maybe a good poem will help me release some tension…’

He took the tools in front of him without hesitation, and his claw started to write immediately, swiftly and fast-paced.

Inside a crystal castle, I’m trapped

Clean and shining as we liked.

This place used to be my home,

But now it feels only wrong.

I keep enjoying life.

Helping others, sharing good moments, laughing and cheering

While fearing to get back

Just to find that you haven’t come back.

Spike noticed that it was getting difficult to write in the paper, he frowned and kept working on his poem. Not noticing how his whole body was trembling.

Because I know now that this isn’t my home.

Your perseverance and cheers were my home,

Your warm smile and confidence were my room,

Your wise words and generous actions were my bed.

Spike cleaned his eyes quickly, too zoned out in his work to notice that what he cleaned wasn’t sweat, but tears

And even though I still have a lot of people that care for me,

I know that no one can survive without a place to rest.

It will be only a matter of time

For me to break and realize the lonely prison in which I reside.

Spike took the scroll and blow it with his green fire. He hummed happily, tears running freely down her chin as he looked the peace of paper dance around his flames before being consumed inside his magic.

Apple Bloom approached him, doubling her pace once she noticed the tears shaded by her friend, “Spike, are you okay? You are crying!” she exclaimed.

Spike crossed his brows at her, “what do you mean?” he asked before touching his cheeks, his now drenched claw dumbfounding him. “Wow, I really zoned out while writing that poem.”

“What in tarnation will make you tear up like that? Show me that poem!” she demanded.

Spike jolted up at the sudden request. “Ahm…” he took a moment to recompose himself. “Sure. Just give me a sec while I search it,” he said while scratching his chin.

A considerable amount of time passed but Spike’s frown just went more deep with each second, “hmmm… Where is it?” He asked to himself.

“What is the matter?” Apple Bloom asked confused.

“I can’t remember where I left the note, usually they go straight to the… okay, I don’t think it will be useful to teach you about dragon magic,” he paused and concentrated once again before shrugging. “I guess I lost it, finding it now could take me some hours”

“Aw... Shoots. I wanted to read that. I mean, you were crying a river with a mighty smile plastered on your face. It must have been a really good poem,” She grunted. “Guess I’ll have to wait.”

“Sorry, Apple Bloom,” Spike said before putting a smile. “Next time, I’ll make sure to not save it inside my fire while zoned.”

The little filly nodded and spun back to her family. Spike kept smiling while looking how she happily trotted to his brother side.

“You are a slow reader Big Mac! Give me that!” Spike heard from the little filly, a light chuckle prompting from his mouth.

Spike got up and started to move towards the librarian desk

‘I better make a list of the books they are reading, just in case they need to use them again’ Spike though, his smile fading as another thought crossed his mind

“That’s what Twilight will do…”

Useless

Useless

Another shining day arrives at Ponyville, the oddest and funnier place to live in all of Equestria. Most ponies were already on their way to their job, school, hobby, weekly shenanigan or their favorite bakery, Sugar cube corner. A building designed from the core to look like the dream of a mad pony with an obsession towards sugar.

Inside this lovely trap, two earth ponies were taking care of the business, selling their wide variety of confections. Cakes, muffins, pies, donuts, candies, and desserts of all flavor and sizes were disposed around the various shelves of the store giving the illusion of a never-ending travel through ‘sugarland’.

And at the back of that mountain of cakes, candies, and pastries; a happy little dragon hummed a cheerful tone, his hands occupied with a bowl and a great spoon as they were making another sugar product for the store.

Meanwhile, at the front of the store, the two owners of the store, the Cakes, were taking care of orders; Happy to know that someone could be as useful and generous as to work for free.

“I can bet all the bits in my bank account that Pinkie is going to throw a ‘Thank you’ party after she finds about the little fella’s charity work,” Mr. cake said cheerfully.

“No one is going to argue that honey” Mrs. Cake responded to her husband before waving goodbyes to a happy customer on his way out. “Have a nice day Vinyl! Remember to tell Cloudchaser about our special offer for today, I’m sure she is going to love it!”

The young mare nodded on her way out and closed the door, without her, only six clients remained in the place. Some were just chatting while others were eating their breakfast; a particular light brown stallion was munching his food as if tomorrow will be his last day on earth, but most ponies didn’t pay attention to his wrong behavior.

“Look at him go,” Mr. Cake commented, “the doc must be really close to finding something big.”

“He has been doing this for three days in a row: he gets here in a rush, orders two services of pancakes and three cups of coffee and then runs to-” Mrs. Cake was interrupted suddenly by the trotting of the young stallion, “and here he goes again.”

The stallion placed ten bits on the counter and nodded, “thanks for the food, is-”

“Now hold your horses Dr.hooves!” Mrs. Cake reprimanded, “You have to slow things down, all this rushing is going to make a toll on your body.”

“Sorry, is just that I’m really close to finding a way… to make my machine work, it’s going to be… something out of this world and even Discord will be amazed at it!” He explained between pants, “Once finished I will take your advice,” he added before trotting out of the store, almost bumping with a little filly on his way out “Sorry, Applebloom.”

“Don’t worry doc, I was in a hurry too, we were lucky to not bump into each other” The filly saluted, frowning seconds later after noticing the ragged breath on the doctor on his way to his house, “That doesn’t sound healthy…” she muttered before going to the counter. “Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” she shouted in glee.

The cakes winced at the screeching shout from the filly, recomposing seconds later to the point they could at least give a welcoming nod properly.

“What brings you here so early Applebloom?” Mrs. Cake said.

“The apples usually don’t go around here till midday” her husband added.

The little filly didn’t answer at first; instead, she took a good look at the store’s clients, all known faces to her, but her frown just demonstrated that she didn’t found who she was looking for, she turned to the cakes and after sighing in defeat she responded, “Seems like he is no longer here. Have you seen Spike? We need his help at the orchard.”

The cakes arched a brow in unison, looking at each other before giving a comforting smile to the farm filly, “Search no more sweetie, He is in the back making the treats for the afternoon” he explained.

“Spike is helping you two?” Applebloom asked, “Why? Is there something important that you need to take care today?”

“No, none of that” Mrs. Cake dismissed the filly’s assumption with a waving hoof, “He told us that he wanted to offer his help while Pinkie is on her map mission. We tried to assure him that it wasn’t necessary but he wouldn’t take a no for an answer.”

“That can’t be” Applebloom argued back, “he is helping us at the farm every single day!” she exclaimed.

“Is there a problem with that?” Asked the dragon of the conversation, holding a wet handkerchief covered with a mixture of pastry ingredients, “I just wanted to help everyone while they were gone,” he added before throwing the dirty piece of silk into the trash.

“Spike, you have been helping us and the Apple family at the same time every single day?” Asked the pastry mare with a concerned tone.

“I also take care of Rarity’s shops, She had told me before how seasons work around Equestria, and right now I have to make sure that her boutique at Manehattan is well endowed for the end of summer,” Spike explained, his chest puffed and his tone filled with pride.

“And what about the library?” Mr.cake asked.

“I open it on the weekends. Most ponies don’t go for a book until then,” Spike said, “now, Appleblo-“

“Spike, I think you are overdoing yourself” Mrs. Cake frowned, her tone more serious than before.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Cake, Dragons have a lot of stamina. Besides, Discord helps me out too. He takes care of Fluttershy’s critters. That gives me enough time to place my schedule properly and not end up like Applejack did some years ago,” Spike turned to his young friend “Now, Applebloom, you were saying?”

Applebloom took a look at the cakes, whom shrugged at her as a response, “Well… it’s about the farm, I know you usually go after mid-day but Bigmac was needed on Appleloosa and we are running out of time for the next shipment for Filthy Rich” she paused for a moment, “so…”

“You need me to go there earlier today?” Spike added.

“And probably for the next couple of days while Bigmac is outside” the filly finished.

Spike hummed for a moment, scratching his chin for a couple of seconds before turning towards the cakes, “That means that I couldn’t help you in the meantime…”

Mr. Cake Laughed at the dragon statement, “Don’t you worry fella, you already did more than enough for us. We can handle a couple of days without your service” he assured, patting the young drake’s head, “Truth is, we owe you a big favor for this…”

Spike took the stallion hoof, gripping it with caution as to not hurt him, “I’m doing this for my friends… please don’t think you owe me something…” he paused, his eyes turning to the floor as he muttered, “I’m helping them… in the only way I can”

The cakes stood confused for a moment, staring at the new dragon in front of them. The moment didn’t last, however; he recomposed shortly after his statement and went outside followed by his friend.

The married couple remained silent for a moment, their eyes fixated in the entrance door, Mrs. Cake's expression turned sad as she found the strength to speak again.

“It has been two months… two whole months without his closest friends…”

“Maybe…” Mr. Cake muttered, “Ugh… I don’t know what to think. There must be something we can do to cheer him up…”

“I…” His wife trailed off, her head turning to the side, “It’s a reckless idea, but I have been thinking of this new diamond recipe…” She looked at her husband, his warm smile erasing any doubt from her thoughts, “I’ll get some ink and paper.”

Mr. cake nodded and watched at her beautiful mare travel to the back of the store before turning to the sound of the tingling rings of the entrance door, “Welcome to sugar cube corner.” He welcomed in a sing-song tone, “Berry Punch, seems to me like you need a gallon of coffee, and a bucket,” he joked before disposing himself to help the new customer.

The sun rested near the horizon, signaling the end of the day for Equestria and their inhabitants. And at the orchard of the Apple family, a dragon and a little filly were holding the last couple of buckets in their back while going to the barn. Applebloom’s coat was drenched in sweat, and her face was screaming to the horizon a simple resolution, she craved for a good bath and a warm bed. Spike by the other side was humming happily, his joyful expression and sweaty body giving confusing signals to his partner.

Applebloom glared at the dragon, her brow arching as she scanned the dragon from spike to toe, “Dang Spike, I wish I could have that amount of energy” she grunted, “I can't feel my legs over the pain and exhaust... exhaustion” she corrected.

Upon hearing her words, Spike leaped in the air and lifted Applebloom’s bucket of apples with his tail. The bucket stood in the air for a second before falling to the ground. In a swift move, Spike dashed towards the falling bucket and caught it with his back.

“You should have said it earlier… I hope you don’t mind if I help you with the last bucket” Spike said, the absence of pride in her previous action made the little filly arch her brows.

“Umh, no I don’t mind… That stunt was amazing by the way” She commented.

“Thanks,” Spike said, his cold and calm tone ripping all the life showed by his smile.

Applebloom frowned at the drake’s soulless answer. Turning her head to the side, she started to drift into her thoughts for a moment, her eyes now focused on Ponyville’s direction. After a couple of minutes, the wind ceased its constant flow and a solemn silence remained in its place; not even the sounds of their steps were hard enough to break the silence.

Until she spoke.

“Spike… about what happened in Sugar cube…”

Spike glanced at his friend, “huh? What about it?”

“You want to talk about it? It has been two months since we last seen our friends and family…”

Spike stopped moving; Applebloom noticed it later and turned backward in order to see him, his smile still present on his chubby face.

“I just miss them, that’s all… but there is nothing to worry about, they will come back sooner or later” He said, his tone of voice returning to its charming and childish self.

Applebloom smiled back at him, “I’m happy to see you are taking it well, seems like I was just overthinking…”

“Eh? What do you mean by that?” Spike asked.

“Nah, it’s nothing. Let’s hurry up to the barn, I’m sure granny has a good meal waiting for us!” Appleblom exclaimed before doubling her pace.

“Hey, hey! Dragons have a lot of energy but we have limits too!” Spike said to deaf ears, the filly was just getting farther away from him, “Wait!” he shouted, his little feet struggling now to keep the pace.

The night rested upon Ponyville; a full moon glistening in the sky, the white rays reflecting between the crystals of the Castle of friendship and the drenched scales of Spike. He stood near the door for a solid minute, his eyes lost in the beautiful display of colors showed by the reflection.

“Rarity and Fluttershy always liked how the castle shined in a rainbow of colors every night with full moon” he whispered.

He sighed slowly, his charming smile turning down as the work of the day started to take an effect on his bones and flesh. He opened the double door and made his way inside, making sure of closing it with his key before going to the main hall.

Upon entering the main hall, Spike tried to make a quick turn to his room, but his feet were welcomed with the cold marble floor once he moved outside the floor’s carpet; Spike winced heavily, a silent swearing leaving his lips.

“Without Twilight’s magic, this place gets cold really fast…” he muttered before blowing a little flame to his feet.

After the painful experience, Spike decided to return to the comfy and carpeted path. He followed the path till he got to the center of the route.

‘Alright, Spike… now just go to the left hall and to your room… you don’t need to go to the map room… you don’t need to keep moving forward… you don’t need to open that door’

Spike claw gripped the nob of the central door which led to the map room. His expression bitter, his eyes focused on his own hand as it opened the door.

‘Seems like I can’t help myself… curse twilight for my curiosity…’

Spike looked at the map in the middle of the room. The seven marks floating in the same place just like in the first day. He narrowed the distance between him and the map, first at a normal pace, but the more he approached the slower he moved; but, unlike his feet, his hands were always trying to move forward, trying to reach the map, reach the marks.

‘Reach them…’

…

Spike stood in front of the map, his gaze stuck on the illusion magic cast by the map. He approached his claws to his mouth and blow a tender flame to them; a quill and paper resting on his claws seconds later.

‘Write my thoughts always helps me out…’

Serve and protect are part of my noble code

Because I possess the resources that others not.

I have the strength, the stamina, the conviction

But most importantly

I have time.

Spike breath become ragged, but he didn’t notice, he only cared about his words, and the white parchment his left-hand grip.

Because Immortality is my curse,

I will bear the pain that no other can.

That’s why I offer protection,

That’s why I gift kindness and generosity,

That’s why I bring joy to their hearts,

Because I can waste all the time I want

But they only have a chance to enjoy life.

Spike greeted his teeth, his eyes shimmering like a scorching flame while he looked at the crystal map in front of him.

However there are things out of my reach

Like, destiny, a fair lady that unlimited power keeps.

Her power will take everything I love,

Or ever will,

Making of me, an everlasting creature

Another Useless sheep.

Spike burned the quill and looked at his creation with stern eyes, after a deep inhalation, he was ready to store his work inside his flames but stopped just before his flames could erupt from his mouth.

‘Applebloom will want to read this…’

Instead of burning it, he rolled the parchment and took it before spinning back to the exit of the room and towards his room. It felt weird for him, how the habit of traveling the same corridors made him aware of every turn and step needed to reach his room, he could get from the entrance of the castle to his room blindfolded without a doubt. He knew it. He even had tested it for fun sometimes. But now, it felt like his giant castle was nothing but an empty wasteland, a wasteland that needed to be cleaned each day, a wasteland from which just a few places were important.

Spike stopped moving. It happened again; while adrift inside his thoughts he had reached his destination and now only an empty space remained in his memory. He shook his head, heavily yawning as he opened the door.

‘It feels like an eternal loop... rest, clean, work, eat… pray…’ he closed the door behind him and turned to a bookshelf placed near his bed, a huge collection of letter and scrolls laying on it.

‘Twilight will want to read this too. She likes to read my short letter while she is resting from her usual books…’

Spike climbed to his bed, taking a last look at his huge collection of letters before going to sleep.

Weak

Weak

‘They aren’t here to protect them this time.’

Spike stared at the abysm within the the entrance of the Everfree forest. Howling sounds echoed from the rotten jungle, making the wind stop abruptly as the wood cracked from the screeching sounds.

‘They are getting close… hopefully, the whole pack will come this way… maybe I ca-’

Spike thoughts were disturbed by the sound of trotting hooves. He turned around to see a mature zebra, her wise and strong attitude reflected in her sparkling eyes and confident smile.

“I should have known that you will not listen to me,” Spike said with a snarky tone, turning his view towards the forest with a toothy grin, “Just stay away from my flames and spare some timber-plots for me to kick.”

“I promise to be careful around your flames, but the second is something I cannot sell.”

“Say what?” Spike arched a brow, “you totally made that up-” a rustling from the woods interrupted the young drake before a lone timberwolf jumped into their view.

“Just one?” Spike asked with joy, “this is going to be-” seven wolfs crept out from the depths of the forest “curse Murphy and his stupid law…”

The wolves growled at the duo, their wood made coat rustling upwards as they prepared to launch at them.

“Remember Spike, those are rogue timberwolves,” Zecora explained while composing her posture.

“Yeah, this will be easy, just let me attack first, they will not know what it hit them,” he said before jogging towards the pack, “over here stupid dogs! Who wants some meat!?”

The wolves grunted at the little drake’s action, but they didn’t attack him straight away. They were smart, they knew that someone as little as Spike could escape from their fangs if they tried to jump at him without thinking.

The timberwolf standing in the middle of the pack smiled, its eyes signaling the others to move forward, the others didn’t need more instruction, their instincts were already telling them what to do.

The pack started to move around spike, surrounding the dragon, making sure that there was no way for him to escape.

“Oh no! They are smart!” Spike screamed euphorically, his claws piercing through his cheeks, his teeth trembling. The seemingly fear of death showed by the dragon made the leader of the pack puff his chest in victory before opening his drooling muzzle.

Spike’s tail went up towards his belly, his hands taking it not a second later before he started shivering, “Oh, poor me!” he shouted again in an overdramatic tone, “Don’t look at this, Zecora!”

“Spike, while I like to see your theatric act, I must warn you for your overreacts” Zecora said with a solemn tone, her eyes and mind focused in each wolf of the pack, each movement, any indication that they could attack her, or worse... that they could try to run towards Ponyville.

“I tell you, there is something off with your rhymes today!” Spike exclaimed, breaking his act by accident, once he turned to the confused looked wolves was when he noticed his mistake, “Crap… I mean… uh…”

The wolves behind Spike turned to the zebra, snarling now at her while the rest kept an eye on the little drake.

“Screw it, we’ll have to do this the hard way” spike commented before inhaling deeply, breath becoming green flames as the little drake expulsed a torrent of fire towards the leader of the pack.

However, the wood wolf wasn't scorched to ashes, nor burning in flames neither screaming in agony; there was just the constant sound of the flame and bright green color it radiated. After the large pillar of flames disappeared the only thing still present were the prints left behind by the wolf’s paws in the mud.

“Wow…” Spike said, before falling to his knees “ta... that took…” he gasped, “I need a breath…” and so breathed again, his left eyes shut, even his strength was drained because of his previous action. His right eye whatsoever was still open and aware of the other four wolves around him.

The wolves stood bewildered, their dropped jaws almost dislocated from their muzzle thanks to their unnatural body composition; their tails tucked down between their hind legs as they changed their pose: ears flopped down, trembling, a silent whine that grew in volume every time Spike turned towards a specific member of the group, all signals of submission and fear.

Spike watched from left to right while climbing up to his feet, his toothy smile prompting once again to the surface, “Don’t worry, your friend isn’t dead,” he assured, “he will wish to be dead though,” he added quickly, not giving a chance to the timberwolves to ease their doubts, “I sent him Tartarus with a free ticket to the ‘living hell’ suite, you want to follow him?”

As if they were coordinated, Zecora threw the wolves that tried to pound her a moment earlier, both of them landing beside Spike, cowering and in pain as they clutched their paws towards their chests.

“Or… will you like to go the traditional way?” Spike asked with a cocky tone before breathing out a red fire that shimmered like lava.

The wolves whimpered and howled in fear, turning back to the forest from where they came, more than one of them left a green trail while running off to safety.

“Yeah, right, and then what?” Discord spat sarcastically, “Celestia arrived and made you the official hero of Poniville?” he joked.

Spike rolled his eyes, his claws pushing the door of the map room as they entered. Bigmac was behind the duo carrying all the items and food they’ll need for the day in his saddlebags.

“That would’ve been nice, but you know me, humble as I am, I didn’t want to be praised as the hero of the town.”

Discord floated to the middle of the map and teleported the content of Bigmac’s saddlebags on top of it. “You? humble? Mister great and glorious Hero of the Crystal Empire?”

“I didn’t have a choice that time, and believe me, that position was only helpful for me when I needed to-”

Bigmac interrupted with a loud intentional cough, making the other two of the group turn their attention to him, “Spike, is Zecora alright?”

Discord crossed his bow in confusion, his eyes glancing back and forth between the pony and the dragon.

“Yeah, I went to the hospital, the doc said that her leg is going to recover in a couple of weeks,” Spike said before turning to his crystal couch, “she told me to get her some tools and potions from her hut tomorrow morning.”

Discord eyes went wide open as the realization hit him, “Wait, hold up your horses!” he exclaimed before a flick of his fingers made Bigmac levitate, the stallion unamused at the god’s antics, “Th-that really happened?”

“Eeyup.”

“Then, why is she hurt? She-”

“Another pack of wolves came after we defeated the first one; apparently, the first group of wolves was just the recognition team,” Spike explained, “the second pack was composed by sixteen wolves…”Spike sighed heavily, his eyes turned down as he continued, “I told Zecora to run back so I could put a wall of fire around the wolves and myself… but she didn’t want to leave me. At the end, I wasn’t able to protect her and fight at the same time.”

Bigmac frowned at his purple friend, “Spike, don’t you blame yourself for it. It was Zecora who decided to stay, and she is still alive so-”

“She decided to stay because I was weak!” Spike shouted, “She knew that the wolves’ fangs and paws were not a match for my scales, but she was afraid that I could get beaten up by the wolves’ strength!”

“Spike, you can’t blame anyone for this,” Bigmac responded with a caring yet stern tone, “she is your friend, and that’s what friends do. They protect and care for each other.”

… Neither Spike nor Bigmac exchanged words for a second.

“You are right,” Spike finally stated, his eyes no longer stuck on the marble floor, “Besides, I have risked my own life for the sake of my friends before...”

Discord interrupted the conversation, placing a giant tissue box between the two friends, “Are you done girls?” the god of chaos teased, “May I remind you that A. this is guys night. And B…”
The three of them were suited with armor and custom gear, a humongous scorpion now in front of them.

The castle interior changed as well, the walls who were clean and shining were now dusty, muddy, and drenched with a green and black goo; the floor was now made of bones and stones, and the previously clear ceiling was now covered with webs, ropes, and chains.
Discord opened his arm in joy, his face showing ferocity towards the beast before him, “We were in the middle of a boss fight last time! “Discord exclaimed with open arms.

The group of friends was now resting on the ground near a bonfire, part of their bodies covered with silk and gauze.

“That was a thought one” Spike exhaled, his hands resting inside the fire, “who would have thought that the scorpion had an affinity with ice magic.”

“I did” Discord jolted with pride.

“Actually, I was the one that came up with that idea,” Another discord said from above in a godly tone.

Bigmac stood dumbfounded for a moment, his gaze going up and down between the Discords, “How does your magic work again?”

“Do you think I know?” the god said in a mocking tone, “I just make things happen and they happen, that’s all I know.”

Spike chuckled slightly, “It wouldn’t be chaos if you can explain it, right?” Discord nodded.

Spike’s turned for a moment to the ceiling of the illusion, the seven cuttie marks were still shimmering atop of the “cave”. He stood there for a while, till their friends started to notice his absence.

“Hey, buddy,” Bigmac called, “Spike?” Still no answer from the drake, “Spike!”

Spike eyes opened slightly, his view turning to his friend a second later, “Eh? You said something Bigmac?”

“You seemed lost at something, little one,” Discord commented, “Is everything alright?”

Spike looked unsure to answer that question, his eyes darting down as if he was searching for something to say, but his mind found itself clouded with questions, do they need to know? How should I answer that question? Can I really just say that I’m fine? He rubbed his forehead as the rollercoaster of doubts took a toll on his mind.

His friends whatsoever, couldn’t know for sure what was happening inside his troubled mind, and every second that passed just made the situation more unsettling for them. Finally, Big Mac looked up, following the previous actions from the drake, and saw the seven marks hanging atop of the illusion.

“Spike, this is about the girls?” he intrigued.

Spike eyes went wide open, his thoughts coming to an abrupt stop, “ah, well…” he muttered, before resigning with a heavy sigh, “yeah, it’s about them… It has been four months since they were gone and…” his mouth trembled for a moment, stopping his progress through the conversation.

“Come on, Spike, some months without your friends should be nothing for a hero like you,” Discord said with a cheerful tone, trying his best to ease the tension of the group.

“They’re more than my friends, Discord,” Spike said bitterly, “They are my family!”

Discord got surprised with the little demonstration of the dragon; with a flick of his fingers, he changed his clothes for a formal attire and glasses. “Seems like you need someone to talk,” he made a swift move with his paw, his magic summoning a set of comfy chairs for the trio, “let’s make this a little more comfortable shall we?” he proposed before taking a sit, the other two following suit right after him.

“We are all bros here, Spike, you can tell us everything,” Discord said.

… Spike was still unsure to talk. He only stood there in silence, searching for a way to express what he felt. Big Mac noticed the drake’s struggling and waved a hoof at him.

“I noticed earlier that something was off with you Spike,”Bigmac confessed, making Spike glance at him, “You seemed to be happy while you worked on the farm, but it always troubled me how you always were trying to find something to do... and when you didn’t find something to occupy your time… your smile faded…”

“I like to work because it eases my thoughts… it’s just the job and me. And then there is the reward” he paused, his eyes glancing down once again, “a simple smile, some food, a warm pat on the head… it didn’t matter to me, as long as the one I helped was happy, it was enough for me.”

Discord narrowed her eyes at him, “You said that it ease your thoughts… what kind of thoughts exactly?”

“That… those thoughts are about…” Spike trailed off again.

“Your family, you miss them.” the farmer stated bluntly.

A tear trailed Spike’s check, words failed him as he tried to speak, “It’s just that… I feel so useless…” He turned his view towards the marks above him, “I can’t do a thing to help them… I ju-just can wait for them and hope they are s-”

“they… are… oh… goddess…” Spike said with a breathless tone.

“Spike?” Bigmac asked.

Spike jaw started to open slowly, the previous shine of the marks reflecting on his eyes now gone, “Where… where… are the cutie marks?!” he exclaimed in terror, his wide-open eyes turning to the god of chaos, “Discord, break the illusion, I need to see the map!”

Discord backed off slightly at the shout, his magic dispelling a second after.

The map was empty, a black shade covering its previous shimmering features.

Spike looked agape at the map, his breathing becoming ragged as he started to use his mouth to breath. He tried to take slow chunks of airs at first, but it was useless, his trembling body was failing him, “The girls… the map…” he panted, “That’s not the way… no…no, the map,” Spike stammered, his mouth quivering as he tried to assure himself, “it usually beams and then the marks disappear… no, this is not the way he- no” he hugged himself tightly, feeling as if he could explode at any second.

Discord hold her paws up to him, signaling to stop and calm down, “Easy now fella, my magic will tell us if ‘shy is fine” he reassured before clenching his fingers, “you don’t have to worry, I’m sure this is just another weird shenanigan from the map,” he added before flicking his fingers.

… Nothing happened.

“Huh? Let me try that again...” Discord said with an unsure tone.

… Spike watched how his friend's magic failed again… the world around him becoming slower and blurry.

‘No… no, not like thi- no, no, no… ’ Spike repeated as he watched in slow motion how Discord tried over and over again to summon his magic; A piercing feeling cursing through his scales each time the spell failed, a painless void that was somewhat familiar to him.

“Discord…” Spike panted, not noticing how his face was now drenched in tears,” please-“

“Wait, does that means that my sister is?!” Big Mac interrupted with a question, his expression agape, “no, that can’t be,” he stammered, “this…”

“Come on, this must be some kind of mistake!” Discord exclaimed before turning to the distraught farmer, “Come on Big Mac snap out of it, we need to calm down!”

While Discord tried to pull the big stallion back to reality, Spike was clenching his fist to his chest, the painless void feeling inside him swelling by the second.

‘I need to calm down…’

The pain throbbed again, and with it, his body started to grow as well. Each change made his body felt like rotten needless cursing through his bare skin.

‘I can’t fail them… I must remain strong…’

He grew again, his new shape forced him to rest in four paws.

“Spike?” Discord noticed in horror, his tearful eyes glancing back and forth as he searched for a way to calm his friend. “Spike, please listen to us!”

“I couldn’t protect them… I was too weak…”

“He is not listening…” Big Mac said after the memory of a titanic dragon bringing havoc to Ponyville made itself present on his thoughts, “We need to get him to someplace far away from here.”

“Discord,” Spike said, his tone breaking with each word, “take m-me badlands…”

The Chaotic god arched a brow at the dragon, “Huh, what do you mean? But they aren’t there, the girls are on the other side of-”

“Take me to the badlands!” The dragon demanded, his tone grim and somber.

“As you wish my friend,” He said. And with a swirl of his fingers, they teleported out of the castle.

Canterlot palace – throne room

The sun was narrowing the horizon, signaling the princesses of Equestria that their time to rest from their duties was at hand. And so they took the moment to talk, share a cup of tea and eat some snacks.

“Did he really tried to do that?” Luna asked astonished.

“Yes, yes he did. He was lucky enough to have me there, otherwise, the Jaks would have changed Blueblood’s name to Redblood…” Her sister explained, still angry at his nephew’s reckless actions.

“Good grief… I need to have a talk with that stallion” Luna expressed, her magic pulling her cup of tea slowly to her; unfortunately for her, the ground below them trembled, making the tea fall on her hooves.

As the princess winced and growled in pain, a guard entered the room in a blast, “Princess we had a problem, there are reports of a dragon making a havoc in the Badlands! “He reported.

“That is weird, why would a dra-”

Celestia’s words were interrupted by a thunderous roar that stormed through the whole kingdom with enough power to shatter the windows of the castle and unfurl the wings of a dozen of guards outside the gates of the city.

At the same time, the mighty roar gave the the princesses an astonished expression, their eyes wide open as the familiar sound echoed through the walls.

“That is not any dragon…” Luna gasped.

A second roar beamed from within the badlands; unlike the previous wrathful one, this roar was cracked and filled with sorrow, like the howling of a distraught beast.

“That is…” Celestia swallowed heavily, her worries taking the best of her as she flew outside of the room, a motherly tone compassing her words as she shouted on her way out:

“That is my son’s lament!”

Depressed

Depressed

The badlands. An arid, large and lonely place. A huge landscape that most time has been considered as a needless piece of the map of Equestria. But not this day. This day, the badlands was being useful, this usually forgotten place was now an oasis for the heart broken dragon who was using it as a punching bag.

The once before known as tiny and cute dragon, Spike, was now a humongous beast, almost the size of the previous dragon lord, Torch. His size alone was enough reason for its surrounding to tremble with each step and movement. But he did more, a lot more, he kicked, steeped, burned and almost destroyed the arid landscape. The ground beneath him started to crack and crumble, as he roared in agony and pain.

“What should we do?” Big Mac asked to his friend, the lord of chaos. Both of them safely encased inside a magic shield.

“I don’t know for sure…” Discord said, “I thought he will be calm after a couple of minute’s bu-” A deafening roar interrupted his words, making both the stallion and the draconequus wince.

While the pain from their ears ceased, the duo noticed that Spike had stopped moving, his eyes now locked on the sky above him.

“Serve and protect are part of my noble code,” Spike whispered, although his considerable size and heavy voice made it easy for anyone near the badlands to hear him.

“The code of a dragon who craved for more...” He added, as his voice became swifter and calmer. He was giving poetry to the world just like he liked to do when he needed to calm down.

Because my kind is the one that lures for precious things.

But unlike the others I craved for something else…

Something unique.

After all, friendship can’t be horded, and love Implies sharing.

“What is he doing?” Asked Discord before a red hoof tapped his mouth. Big Mac motioned him to be quiet. Meanwhile the dragon took a huge breath, ready to continue with his speech.

And so I shared their love, and in return I found something…

Something more precious than the tastiest gem,

Something more conformable than the longest dream,

Something more fulfilling that endless power

Something warm, and enjoyable, and sometimes bitter and even painful,

Something with more value than anything else in this world.

Spike exhaled a torrent of flame to the sky, his magic flame leaving a trail of smoke that sparkled like the stars on midnight.

Tears ran down my body as I speak

My mind is adrift while this words are being release.

Love, family, home

I lost a lot of things,

But the cause for this tears to shade my face is other,

What really pains me, is how much life had for them to offer.

Spike woke with a heavy gasp, his body sitting by instinct. He breathed in a slow pace, tears and sweat covering his whole body.

‘A nightmare?’ he asked himself, his eyes adjusting to the dark of the room in which he resided.

Two windows on the left, hospital machinery on his right. To his left side of the bed was a nightstand with some lavender flowers on a pot. On his right side of the bed was his mother, sleeping on a chair.

‘Mom? And those flowers are from Luna’s garden…’ Spike recalled, “What it’s going on?”

Spike stretched a claw to his mother, stopping in the process as he noticed a big and threatening looking claw. His claw. He backed off in fear, his back hitting the wall behind him.

“Ahg!”

The disruption made Celestia woke from her slumber rather quickly, as her concern and her dazzled state made her jolt towards her son to aid him.

“Spike, my dear,” she furrowed her brows in concern. “Are you alright?” she asked, her tone softer and soothing.

“Mom… sorry” he winced, “I just… this... my claws…” he said before showing his arms to his mother.

Celestia took his left claws. A warm smile beaming between the darkness of the room as she tenderly rubbed and patted his son arm.

“Is still your body, sweetheart,” she assured.

“My body?” Spike asked with crossed brows; his eyes turning wide as the realization hit him and he turned to his own body, “Mom, what happened to me?!”

Celestia stretched her hoof to his son’s face. He recoiled at first, looking cautiously at the thin and fragile member in front of him.

“My knowledge is limited about that matter,” She said, her words soothing him back to reality as he let her mother’s hoof pat his scaly face. “I was hoping that you could tell me,” she added.

Spike scratched the back of his neck while trying to remember, “I was on the castle with my friends… we were roleplaying… then we stopped for a second to talk and rest, and, an-“His eyes widened. ”My friends. Dear lord…” more tears were shed as the dragon clamped his mouth with his right claw.

Celestia stopped her son with a powerful hug, her hold tight as she prepared for the imminent outburst.

“They are-" he stammered, his whole body now trembling and shivering, "no, no, nonononono”

“Hush, hush, Spike, I’m here, calm down, please calm down,” She pleaded. “Don’t let your feelings get the best of you.”

“It’s not fair, they have so much to live for,” Spike whimpered. “Please mom, please tell me they are alive.”

“Discord and Luna are searching for the-”

“Please just lie to me!” Spike exclaimed. “I don’t min-”

Spike was then struck with a powerful blow, his vision becoming blurry for a second before he could realize his mother had slapped him.

“Spike, I know this is hard,” Celestia Stated, her tone was slightly stern but still soothing and calm, “but you need to stay strong, okay? You still have friends who loves you.”

As his mother words echoed inside his mind, Spike started to get back to reality. He pulled her mother into another hug.

“I-I’m sorry… it’s just…” he stammered, words failing him as his tears swelled.

Celestia patted his back. “Just relax for the moment… that will be enough.” She soothed.

… Spike and his mother stood there. For a considerable time. In utter silence they embraced themselves, as the pain on the dragon's heart started to slowly fade.

“How do you do it, mom?” Spike asked, earning an intrigued humming sound as an answer. “I was hoping to ask you this later… like, much later… bu-”

As if reading her son’s thoughts, Celestia interrupted him, “It’s never easy. And just like you, I made quite the show the first time… but I learned to live with it… After all,” Celestia pulled herself from the hug, “the ones you love always leave something for you. Be it their legacy, their precious things, or even their family. You must learn to live with that lost and be there to protect and take care of the things they left behind.”

Spike drifted to his thoughts for a moment. Memories of Ponyville clouded his mind. The farm, the boutique, the crusaders…

“Seems like my dear nephew is awake,” A familiar voice said from the other side of the room.

Spike cleaned his tears and looked up, a blurry vision of a dark blue mare in front of him. “Luna?” he asked. The sparks of magic hanging in the air made it clear to the dragon that she had just teleported inside the room. “Did you- did you find them?”

Luna glared down, “Sorry, Spike. We tried as best as we could, but there are no sights of them in all the village… the only clue we have is that their mission was complete.”

Celestia turned to her sister, her brows furrowed, “Complete? What do you mean, sister?”

“We talked to the ponies of the village. They told us about some old traditions that were ruining their lifestyle since decades but were getting worse in the previous months. They stopped fighting after a vision of the founder of the village told the whole village about the true origin of those tradition, and how they were needed no more.”

As Luna explained her discoveries, Celestia expression was turning bewilder: Her eyes widening and her teeth munching her own lips as an idea formed inside her mind.

“Now the village can flourish properly,” Luna added, “I tried to convince them that our friends could be related with that event; but they only told me that they were gone for three months prior that vision.”

“Three months?!” Celestia gasped, “Are you sure about that? Did they told you when the vision occurred?” she asked with an erratic tone, her hooves tightening around Spike’s body.

“It happened nearly two months ago, that will mean a month after they disappeared from the villa-” Luna trailed off, her words being interrupted by the tears now flowing from her sister’s eyes.”Ce-Celestia? Sister, what is wrong?”

“Mom?” Spike asked, worried of his mother current state, “is something wrong?!”

Celestia unfolded her wings, opening them widely before embracing his son in another hug. She needed to feel him, to embrace every part of him. And so, she used her wings, her hooves, her long neck, even her magic, everything she could use to tight herself around his son’s new body.

Spike stood agape at her mother action. But even when he didn’t know what was exactly happening, a piercing pain inside his heart was starting to swell. He hugged her back, being mindful about her wings.

“M-mom?” he stammered, his voice cracking as more tears rolled down from his puffy eyes “yo-you know something, right?”

“There is a spell” her mother said, sobs following every three or two words that came from her mouth, “a spell that can send your soul to the realm of the deaths… but you have a limited time” She gasped for air, “the- the tim- if you don’t get back to your body in that-” She gasped again.

Spike hold her mother. He didn’t need to know more. Something inside broke. His only hope, broke. Because he wanted to cry, to yell, and to gasp for air every now and again. He wanted to acknowledge to the world what he felt, but found no way to make those feelings rose to the outside.

Luna approached to the bed, her face a vivid image of her own sister current one. Puffy eyes, messed mane, fur drenched in tears, muzzle with trails of goo and droll. She wanted to be hug too, but it was impossible to ask her sister for some space in that moment; so she used her magic like her sister was doing with Spike, and hugged her family with her blue magic as best as she could.

“It’s never easy…” Luna whimpered. “It doesn’t matter how much times I have lived through this… It never gets easy…”

“How...” he breathed deeply, “how, do I tell them? Their friends and family, they all were waiting for them to come back but...” he asked to his mother.

“There is a time and place for everything, sweetheart,” Celestia said, her ragged voice still providing a warm and fuzzy feeling that only a mother can provide. “As for now, you need to rest,” She sniffed. “We need to rest.”

Some hours later

Spike was resting on the bed, his mother wing covering him like a warm blanked in a cold night of winter. His aunt was sleeping beside him, all the labors from the previous night and the morning got the better of her. Just like his mother, He had no tears left to shed; the feeling of void inside the pit of his whole being was the only thing that remained.

The almost palpable silence inside the room made the sudden knocks from the outside startle the seemingly lifeless dragon, “May I come in?” said the familiar voice of Big Macintosh.

“Yes you can, Mac,” Spike said. He played a little with his mouth. Chewing, opening and closing it, shifting it from side to side. His current state let him notice with care how oddly his new tone of voice sounded.

Big Mac entered the room, his expression solemn, “Discord just got back from the village, he explained me everything already... apparently they had been missing for three months.”

Spike stood in silence for a moment. Big Mac was unaware of the truth. Maybe that was the best for him, and for everypony. “How is he taking the news?” Spike asked while struggling his way out of the comfortable embrace of his sleeping mother.

“He told me that he was going to be at Fluttershy’s cottage for a while… ” Big Mac responded while watching how the new form of Spike was presented to him. “Spike… yo-your body… ”

Spike looked down at his body for a moment, “Yeah… is the way in which my body says that I’m crying on the inside…” Spike explained before looking up at his friend, “How… how are you holding it, Big Mac?”

“Right now… I wish I could be as expressive as your body is…” Big Mac sat on the cold floor of the room, a slight wince was the only hint that showed his discomfort, “Spike… there is something I need to tell you, is about our previous conversation in the castle…”

“What do you mean?”

The red stallion sighed slowly, “While I watched you destroying the badlands. I couldn’t help myself but think that I was part of that outrage… that maybe if I had paid more attention to you I could have noticed that behind that smile of yours there were so much feelings bottling up... I…” Big Mac trailed off. He looked at the ground while trying to think in his next words.

“If you really understand your friend, you will help them instead of asking for permission…” Spike said, which made Big Mac Hum in confusion. “Pinkie told me that while we were going to Yakyakistan the day the dragons attacked…” Spike explained, “Those two days were a total ruckus.”

“That means… that am a terrible friend?” Big Mac asked, his ears flopping down.

Spike climbed out of the bed and approached the big stallion. He placed an assuring claw in the farmer’s shoulder. “You are a stallion of few words Mac, talking about feelings is not your thing. I appreciate that you were worried; that is enough for me; so don’t blame yourself for this” Spike said, coughing slightly a second after, “I can’t get used to this new voice…”

The big stallion raised his chin, a slight smile now present on his features. However, his joy didn’t last, as a sudden memory of her sister pulled him back to reality. “Apple Bloom…” he whispered, “I can’t leave her alone while I search for Ap-”

Spike held his claws up, motioning the stallion to stop, “Big Mac, you can’t find her, she is not in this dimension” Spike explained, his mind already composing his next words as the stallion tilted his head to the side, “I have lived long enough around Twilight and the others to know about multidimensional travel and tim-” Spike stopped for a moment, the confused expression of Big Mac was yelling to him to express himself in another way, “Whatever they were doing, they probably got trapped in somewhere out of our reach. We can't search for them because we could end up lost too, so…”

“We wait…” Big Mac added.

Spike nodded, “It’s the only thing we can do, wait for them to come back,” he ended his dishonest explanation, his body spinning to the bed of the room, “Celestia and Luna will need to make an announcement about it later.”

“What about you, Spike?” the red farmer asked.

“All this mishap made me realize how depressed I really was,” Spike said with a melancholic tone, “I still want to help out with everything I can in Ponyville, because helping others is something I really like to do, but I want to do it without lying about my feelings. Celestia and Luna will help me out with that. I can bet their knowledge will be useful… if not, maybe their contacts will do the trick,” Spike chuckled, his toothy smile as sharp as the teeth of a brand new chainsaw.

… The duo stood in silence for a moment before Big Mac turned to the door, upon opening it he turned his sight to Spike, “That is a fake smile, right?” he asked.

“You are still crying on the inside, right?” Spike answered with a snarky tone.

“Eeyup,” Big Mac said on his way out, being careful to not make too much sound while closing the door.

… The room was silent again. A discomforting silence for Spike, who stood still while his thoughts bullied him. It was the right choice? Isn’t accepting the truth the best option? What will Twilight do? What will his friends do?

Celestia sat on the bed, the rough tones of the duo had woke her a while ago, but she decided to stay silent. That however changed after noticing that his son stopped moving after Big Mac departures. A simple glance was everything she needed to know what was happening inside the head of the distraught dragon

“Don’t stress yourself, my dear son,” Celestia said, her words snapping the dragon back to reality, “they’re not ready for the bad news. And, your idea will give us time to properly search for their bodies, after all, the spell only takes the soul out of the caster,” she explained, her wing raising in the air as she opened some space for her son to rest, “Come here, we had a lot to talk about. Depression has been a rough enemy to ponykind since the beginning of times, and I will not lose my son against him.”

Spike smiled at his mother as the feeling of void finally started to stop swelling inside his heart, “Thanks, mom, and sorry for not asking you earlier for help,” he said with a sniff.

“Not asking for help is one of the many effects of that ‘disease’, Spike, so don’t apologize for being a victim,” She assured with a confident smile.

Spike smiled at the princess words, his paws moving slowly as he approached the awaiting embrace of his mother. It was going to be a long night for them.

One of so many more to come.

Relieved

Relieved

First week

A big crowd of ponies was waiting in front of the town’s hospital. The royal sisters were at the entrance while Spike waited behind them.

The first days… I think those were the toughest ones. I knew that it will be harsh for me to witness everyone expression after giving them the bad news, but I had my mom and aunt by my side.

What I didn’t take into account was my new appearance. That was the real deal because even after receiving the awful bad news about our friends, there was still hope on them; behind the troubled and sad expressions, there was still the feeling of hope inside them, something that seemed to radiate from their bodies.

All of that changed after someone on the crowd asked:

“And who is that dragon?”

And then my mother stepped out, her chest puffed both as a royal and as a mother reflex and then said serenely.

“He, is Spike,” She signaled me to the crowd, a smile prompting past the facade of her regal pose. A smile that vanished after turning back to her subjects.

… Confusion. That was the most prominent thing on their faces. At first, I chuckled, thinking that moment could pass as some random event that usually happens in this town… but then… there was the fear, all around them, it was almost palpable and at the same time so strong… I even was able to smell it like a predator will do with his pray, I tried to clear my throat from the disgusting fragrance before giving my explanations.

“Ponies, is me-” was the only thing I could muster before they backed off in unison, I whimpered slightly at their actions, a tear pushing its way out of the corner of my eye as the feeling of betrayal pierced like a needle inside my heart, and with it, the smell doubled, making me nauseous for a couple of seconds.

“He doesn’t sound like Spike!” a mare shouted. “Are you sure he is not going to destroy the city again?!” someone else added, his words heavier than a hammer’s hit to the chest.

“Ponies, please give us time to ex-” Luna tried to ease the crowd, but was suddenly interrupted by another mare.

“Last time he went on berserk mode he almost destroys the whole town! How do you plan to stop him if he-”

“Stop treating him like a monster!” shouted a little filly in the background, who, to my joy, happened to be the little Sweetie Belle. “He saved Equestria multiple times in the past just like the others did, and for goodness sake, he has been helping the whole town for months!”

While giving her speech, I noticed how the little Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were approaching. However, their fast-paced trot started to change after each step.

Apple Bloom squinted her eyes at me, inspecting every detail of my new body. Scootaloo by the other side had the stinking smell of fear all over her body, I could even swear that she recoiled wings were spreading the smell every time she shivered.

“Scootaloo, you don’t have to fear me…” I assured her to no avail. My tone of voice was enough reason for her to freeze in place, another surge of fear coming from her slithered through my nostrils. I fought back the urges to vomit before speaking again, “I don’t understand… why y’all are scared of me are?”

Luna then approached to Scootaloo and held her with her fore hoofs like a mother will do to her little foal. She then narrowed her distance, her pace ever so calm and caring as she hushed the little filly.

“You may not notice it, Spike, But your new body is giving them the reasons to fear you without your permission,” She narrowed her distance, the trembling Scootaloo resting on her chest, “A killing intent… it must be, a side effect from the way in which you achieved this new form. Only ponies that had endured this kind of threatening aura in the past can endure being near you…”

Luna presented Scootaloo to me, the little filly squirming in fear as she saw me, her eyes reflecting my sharp teeth. “Scoots, please, it’s me, your friendly dragon friend: Spike!”

My reaction made her recoil inside the fur of Luna’s chest, her mouth shaking as she tried to compose her words, “I… I know spike” she stammered, “Is just that… Y-You… something inside me tells me to run away from you... a-and I can bear it, it feels so wrong to be afraid of one of my closest friend.”

Tears flowed through her muzzle as she fought against her instincts, “It just keeps getting stronger,” her forehooves stretched towards me while her words were swelled in tears and sobs.

I looked at the little hoof narrowing its distance with care, knowing that the slightest move on my part will scare her.

“Is okay Scootaloo” Apple Bloom assured her friend with a trembling smile. It was at that moment that I noticed that the little farmer had her hoof resting on my left leg, Sweat trailing down her face and body, “Is going to take us some time to get used to him, but you have to remember, this is the same Spike.”

I hoped her friend’s words will ease her, but the smell of fear just proved me that Scoots was forcing herself way too hard. “Scoots, you don’t have to force it. We have plenty of time.” I paused and stepped back so the filly could relax a little, my mouth forcing a smile a second later, “Yes, I said WE. Do you think you are the only one struggling with this? Can you imagine the amount of new stuff I need to buy now to fit my new size? Try to clean a castle with tools that are the size of a spoon” I said with a chuckle in an attempt to ease the tension.

Scootaloo then smiled and recoiled her hooves. I looked then at the little Apple filly, “you can rest now too Apple Bloom.”

“Thanks,” she answered cheerfully before fading out. Some gasps were thrown by the crowd, whom with no doubt still feared me. I pushed the thought away from my mind and rested my eyes in the resting figure of the little Apple Bloom.

“Hard in the outside and soft in the inside: Apples’ sure know how to be strong…” I nodded at Big Mac, who was near the frontline of the crowd.

“Eeyup” was my friend response before my mother could speak properly with the ponies of the village.

First month

Things finally settled after the first two weeks. I returned to my old roundabouts in the town: cleaning the castle, help the cakes, then the farm, and finally the boutique or the animals at Fluttershy cottage.

During the weekends Raven inkwell took care of the library; meanwhile, I helped my mom and aunt. It was the only way for them to keep their schedule on point and help me fight my problems. Well, there was another detail: we usually had to use the dreamland realm. It was the only moment in which both princesses could be with me at the same time.

Spike looked at his surroundings, a white room that seemed to have no end. Dense fog covered the floor and from time to time it moved outwards, shaping different forms, mostly doors, and bubbles. His nose shifted slightly at the presence of a new fragrance just at the same time Luna made her way through a cloud of fog that previously was shaped like a double door.

“Sorry for not going with you this time, my dear nephew, there was something important I needed to do first,” The owner of the realm said.

Spike pursed his lips, “Can you tell me more about it?”

“Gladly.” She said, her eyes showing a little melancholy through their shine, “Raven found a stack of scrolls that were supposed to be sent to Apple Bloom months ago.”

Spike crossed his arms, his left claw scratching his chin, “A stack of scrolls?” his eyes started to go wide open as the words made echo through his memory: the scrolls in which he has been writing his poems. “Oh, that…” He paused, sweat forming in his forehead as his pupils started to shake, “no- Did they-”

“I supposed you wanted this to be as secret as possible, but it was impossible for me to deny their petition. The Crusaders are waiting for us…”

Luna moved to the side, a pristine white stairway appearing before my eyes, shining rays of light came from the top, I could almost hear the whispers of a holy being. For a brief second, I wondered how the afterlife should look like. The moment for deep thoughts about things that I will never experience didn’t last however, the whispers becoming clearer as I realize who were the ‘holy entities’: The Crusaders.

Their faces alone were enough reason for me to crumble. I sat on the soft carpet of the white dreamscape, my jaw dropping and my eyes tearing as I witness how the three little fillies waddled her way down while crying and calling my name.

“We didn’t know…”

“They were all you had…”

“We didn’t pay enough attention…”

Those were the only words I could understand from the fillies as they made her way down. I couldn’t help myself but hug them and hush their worries. My new body was finally useful for something I could really care.

They kept sobbing and quivering while searching to hug me even more tightly that their own bodies could muster. I reciprocated the feeling with nuzzles and little pats but found myself craving for another way to express myself more for them.

“I wish I could hug y’all using my flames… that is the closest thing to my soul, but you could get burned… Or I could end up sending three little plots towards the head of Celestia.”

“Spi-ke this is not the moment for jokes!” Scootalo reprimanded, her voice was drowned in sorrow and droll. She punched me with her little hooves as she hummed and sobbed in discomfort. Not a minute later she hugged me again.

Apple Bloom then tightened herself around my left arm, “You foolish, greedy dragon, you wanted to hoard all that pain for yourself. What in tarnation were you thinking?”

It was at that point I realize how much time I had been smiling because my whole snout ached at the sudden change of expression, which turned melancholic in the blink of an eye. I couldn’t help but sigh and be silent for a moment. The warm feeling of her hug helping my troubled mind to think for an answer.

“I was thinking about a lot of things AB…” I started, my hands tenderly rubbing the soft fur of the fillies, “at first I thought I was being childish. I mean, it was just a month, no big deal right?”

“Spike?” A warm tone called me. I raised my head, my eyes immersing themselves in a magenta ocean: My mother’s eyes.

“How much time do you think it passed before I started to miss my sister?” She asked while recoiling her head back to its usual regal posture. “Less than a second, Spike. I cried the whole night and day after casting that spell on my sister. I had to use an illusion spell in myself for months so people couldn’t see my tears.”

She kissed my forehead, her lips warmer than usual, maybe a side effect from the realm, or maybe it was just the heat of the beautiful moment. I couldn’t care for reason, I just enjoyed her words and cares for the time being.

“And what about the others 5 five months?” asked the ever curious Sweetie Belle, her tone of voice making me aware that the trio below me was now calmer.

“After the first month, well… those were thoughts days. The first thing I noticed was that I could drift away from my worries while working, and so I started to help more around town,” I tightened my hug for a moment, Apple Bloom releasing a little squeak sound that for sure made my spirit brink in joy. “Afterward, I realize how good it felt to take care of the things that the girls left behind. Every time I worked on the farm the sweet smell of the orchard made me recall the warm feeling of family that Applejack seemed to radiate.”

My fingers played around with Sweetie’s mane, “Rarity’s work also had her own mark… or in her beautiful case, her own ornamentation,” Scootalo made a puke gesture, but I paid no mind to it and kept smiling, “Rarity is one of a kind for sure… do you know most of her money is from carousel’s boutique alone? All her funds coming from the other stores are mostly used for charity while the rest is used to pay well enough their employees so they have no reason to leave. Her dream was to be famous, but she didn’t want to lose her touch of generosity in the process. Don’t you dare think she was perfect in all senses—like I do most of the time—she did want more money in her funds from time to time, but she always told herself, and me in some cases:”

I rolled my spikes so they could look like the one of my dear friend, “A dream can only be fueled by the love of the ones you help while achieving it, my precious scales.”

I stood silent for a moment, a content hum escaping through my snout, “I loved when she called me: ‘my precious scales’.”

Scootaloo jolted a couple of time in my hold, “What about Rainbow, what about Rainbow!?”

I snickered at the little Pegasus excitement, “Rainbow, just like Fluttershy and Pinkie, didn’t need to leave anything for me to remember them. Because they showed me the greatness of their elements: spreading joy, bring kindness and being loyal. While is true that being generous is hard for dragons, you can’t compare it with those other two values. From the seven, those three were the ones that remained in my thoughts no matter the task I was completing.”

Spike went silent for a moment the quite soft sound of vapor flowing through the air was the only thing that could be heard before a tear dropped to the floor, its sound resonating throughout the whole landscape.

“Spike?” Luna asked at the same time the crusaders glanced up, both of them awestruck a second later, Spike was shedding tears like a river.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that-” Spike stammered. He gulped a huge knot of droll and tried to speak again, “I just thought of Twi’ and Starlight, they both were like my closest sisters,” He breathed quickly, his lungs drown in sorrow, “I remember Starlight’s first days in the castle, how her eyes glimmered the first time I said her ‘I love you’ in a fraternal way, like she- she found the fam… the family she never-” Spike openly cried, the crusaders hugging him by instinct as he drenched their fur with more tears.

“I’m sorry… I don’t want to cry is just…”

Celestia patted the young dragon’s head, her voice a soft whisper that could soothe even a wrathful spirit.

“It’s alright Spike, let it go. Cry as much as you want, you had stored those tears for way too long.”

Second month

This month was the bringer of one of the pillars that helped me through my recovering: the little flurry heart, my unofficial niece. Just like me, Flurry was born as an immortal creature. It wasn’t until recently that she started being more proactive around other babies. It didn’t take long for her to acknowledge the great difference in power between her and the others. Luckily, I was sent to the empire a few days earlier by Shining Armor, who wanted at first to train me in the arts of combat. I rejected his proposal, the sole idea of being more menacing than what I was already scared me to the core. Instead, I took the time to talk to cadence about her own experiences with the burden of immortality.

Being as expressive as flurry was, discovering her dilemma didn’t take long. What got me out of guard while in the empire whatsoever was the resolve of the crystal ponies. Not even the smallest of colts feared me, their image of me as their hero had a meaning so powerful for them that even my new threatening appearance meant nothing in comparison. Whatever Sombra did to those ponies it must have been hell on earth itself.

All and all, I was grateful for their tolerance, because the constant smell of fear was making me wonder if I truly was a monster trying to live among the other creatures. And so, while explaining the little colts what it meant to Flurry to be treated as an equal, and while explaining to Flurry Heart how to limit herself around mortals, I recovered the touch I had lost with ponies.

Third month

It was through these months that I rekindled and enforced my friendship with Thorax and Ember. Both of them were of big help while I recovered, as the absence of friendship in their kingdom made me realize how lucky I was to be raised by ponies. I took a whole month to teach the two kingdoms everything I learned about friendship; and in the process, re-learning more about my own life. When you start spending a couple hours of each day to talk about all the good things life had offered you and the ones you love, you start to understand how insignificant are the bad ones in contrast.

Sixth month

Now that I accepted my own problems and weakness it was time for me to start accepting the changes in my life. And the first thing on that list was my new body. My aunt was the one helping me through this facet since she had experience and an affinity with magic that few could even comprehend.

While most of my new spells were just variation of fire spells there were some that made me realize how unique my fire truly was. Luna said that it reminded her of the Tantabus: the dimension shattering creature; not because of the sheer power of my fire, but how well it managed to follow orders if they came from the heart.

It was something unbelievable at first, seeing how my fire seemed to have a life of its own but remained dancing from side to side. On other occasions, it seemed more reckless as it tried to hit everything near him before imploding itself without my consent.

“Interesting. I think your fire manifest your inner thoughts, my dear nephew. Or better say feelings. Use it with care and it will guide your path, showing you how far are from being at peace once again” Were my aunt words.

Eleventh month

Another peaceful day in Ponyville. Peaceful. A word that seemed to have no meaning in the past for me.

Spike was now sitting on a cloud, his paws and tail surrounded by a green flame who sparked like the night sky. Ponyville stood below him, ponies going from left to right as they worked, chatted, eat, rested or… like the young Scootaloo: trained. The mentioned filly was racing against her own record. Her hoofs encased in green clouds that helped her move through the sky.

Time and proper care took most of my troubles and fears away. And even when the hole left by my friends remained empty, there were other things to focus my attention, other places inside my heart to fill with love.

The sound of thunder crashing against skin was soon heard after Scootaloo’s inner Pegasus magic made a cloud turn into a little thunderstorm. The now roosted mare making her way towards the dragon with an expression that showed more anger than pain.

First of all, I was now ‘the old brother’ of the crusaders, and such title made me responsible for their behavior and well-being while they stood in Ponyville. Obviously, taking care of three little fillies had her downsides, after all, they made havoc around Ponyville at least one time every two weeks.

“Are you sure you don’t want to use a bubble shield? I’m pretty sure Sweetie can-” The dragon tried to suggest but was interrupted.

“I told you already, your magical clouds are the only thing I will use. I want to be a great flier just like Rainbow.”

“You know you are far better than her in the weather control department, right?” he complimented.

“I can save the day from a hurricane later, my true dream is to become a Wonderbolt just like Rainbow!” She exclaimed her purple eyes shining with an inner fire worthy of a true warrior.

It didn’t matter how much troubles they made me go through, a simple smile from the trio was enough payment for me.

Spike smiled at the young filly shows of determination, “That is the spirit, squirt,” he added, his last words hinted with a snarky tone.

“Oh no, you didn’t just-” Spike didn’t let her finish and ran from his spot, “You were a squirt just like me, you cheater!” The little filly shouted before dusting off the ashes in her fur and pursue the dragon, both of them laughing while flying through the clouded sky.

As the duo fooled around in the highlands, a sudden event took Spike’s attention away from the persecution: a group of ponies had just teleported into the station.

“That was really an otherworldly adventure, darling,” An alabaster mare said, her hoof taking care of her well-kept mane while she added, “I think I can use some ideas from that realm.”

“I don’t know what will you make out of that place, the only thing we could see where white curtains and old ponies smiling like they had an infinite reserve of cider” a Pegasus commented while making quick stunts in the air, “The only thing I will remember from that trip is the soreness left behind, I tell you my wings feels like I had slept for a year.”

“Well Rainbow, I don’t know about you, but I prefer a little pain and cramps that being dead,” a pink unicorn replied while patting her horn softly.

“How much time did you think we were out?” a pink earth pony added out of the blue, her idle movement consisting on bounces that did little to show how tired her hoofs were, “I was supposed to take care of two parties before we were sealed inside those crystal cocoons.”

“I took care of those…”

The sudden answer made the whole turn their gazes down, a dragon featuring in their point of view.

“D-Dragon!” the yellow Pegasus from the group screamed before running behind the others. The others, however, took their time detailing every aspect of the dragon, their expressions turning intrigued as they all concluded the same thing: he looked familiar.

“You… you are alive, all of you,” the Dragon rejoiced, his eyes clamping down as the happiness took him hostage. He gave cheerful smile to the group as tears traveled down his scales.

The lavender alicorn mare from the group stepped forward, “I’m sorry, you seem to be really happy to see us, but…" she paused for a moment, her narrowed eyes scaning every detail on the dragon, "I know you look just like someone we know, but it will be impossible for him to look like that,” she explained.

The drake started to move towards the group, his mouth releasing a series of coughs before composing his next words:

“I know him too, a selfless dragon named Spike.”

“A dragon that had more than any other in this life.”

“He had a family of seven. Seven mares who took care of the world,”

“And his heart.”

The dragon stood for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, his scales releasing a thin vapor as he kept his speech.

“He waited for long while they once again were doing their duty.”

“But each day was heavier than the previous one.”

“The pain in his heart swelled but his hopes remained intact.”

“Because he believed that one day they would come back.”

“Until one day, a peaceful one like this, destiny made a fool of him.”

“And stole everything he ever had.”

The mares’ jaw started to drop slowly, tears overflowing from the socket of their eyes as the dragon in front of them turned more and more familiar. The alicorn’s fore hoofs trembled as the words of the dragon's words made his heart pump each time harder.

“He was devastated, he was furious, but most importantly,”

“He was depressed.”

“His heart was still determined, but his mind closed to the others”

“So he changed his appearance, to protect his heart before it could be hurt too.”

The dragon’s transformation finished. Making him look like he was used to be known: tiny, childish, and cute. He, was Spike.

“How much time…” The alicorn asked, her mouth trembling with each word, “how long has it been since…”

“I learned a lot of things through time.”

“And in the process, I took care of the people and things you left behind.”

The crusaders arrived at the station as Spike continued, the smiles on their faces immensurable as they hugged his older brother figure.

“A year, one month, one week and four days, with fifteen hours, twenty minutes and 10 seconds.”

The alicorn couldn’t keep watching anymore, she ran past the group, and with her magic, brought the little drake to her embrace. Hugging him tight light as her tears drenched her fur and his scales.

“Spike… I’m sorry, my calculations were wrong, I took for granted that we will only take two weeks to come back here…”

“Celestia told me about the spell.”

“She told me about the risks.”

“But that hole inside me still had hope that you would come back one day to fill it.”

“And so I counted.”

“After all, I’m your assistant, and you will be in need of that information for later. Right, Twilight?”

Twilight didn’t reply, but tightened her hug, her friends moving towards her with tears trailing down their fur.

“We are sorry, my little precious scales… my dear Sweetie Belle” The white unicorn said between sobs, her tears ruining her mascara. Sweetie bell hugged her, as she reciprocated the feeling.

“Is okay, Rarity, you are here now… but maybe you should talk to Spike. He wouldn’t tell us, but we knew he was hiding something important about your situation. By the way, he looked in the past, we were thankful he didn’t tell us anything and just took care of us like a big brother.” She explained before parting from the hug, her older sister a moving towards the little dragon and the others.

Spike glanced up at the baby blue eyes of Rarity, her ruined mascara meaning little to him.

“Thanks for everything Spike,” She managed to say before nuzzling his forehead and giving him a peck on his check.

“You don’t need to thank, the mere fact that y’all are here now is more than enough for me.”

Twilight shifted slightly, leaving more space for her friends to join in a group hug.

“I feel complete again.”

“I’m so…”

“Relieved.”

Author's Note

A depressive night brought the idea of this fic to me: "What will Spike? how his treats and personality will affect him if he had to endure the feeling of losing his most important friends and family." And so this story was born.

thanks for reading my whole fic. I know most people don't like this kind of journeys, so am grateful for your attention and curiousness.