Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Chapter 1
View Online

Glimpses of Regret

Chapter 1

"No..."

Twilight's chest pounded with her heartbeat. Her legs wobbled and felt weak, and she felt sick in her stomach. She lifted her hind right leg and stepped back, then shifted her weight back. Her step was silent. Her throat tightened and she swallowed a growing knot, but it didn't help. Her throat ached from pain. Her eyes burned, and she felt physically weak. She couldn't watch, but at the same time, she couldn't look away. She knew what was happening, but she couldn't process it. She couldn't believe it.

She felt like her legs were going to give out. Her whole body trembled in fear. Her heart pounded in her chest. Breathing was hard. She lifted her left hind leg and quietly slid it back and placed it back on the floor. She lifted her left foreleg and stepped back, then her right foreleg.

"N-no..." she whispered again, her voice drowned out by the sounds coming from the bed.

Rainbow was in bed with another mare, their legs were interlocked and they exchanged short, passionate kisses. Rainbow was on top, and the other mare, a unicorn, was beneath her, moaning softly and leaning her head away from Rainbow, looking out the window. Rainbow leaned down and kissed and licked her neck, drawing more soft moans and coos out of the unicorn.

Twilight felt like the air had been ripped from her lungs. Like the floor had been taken out from underneath her. There was nothing for her to stand on, to hold onto, she was falling, and alone. Standing in the doorway, hidden by the darkness of the night, in the shadows. Neither Rainbow nor the mare noticed her, and she stood there, struggling with what she saw, knowing, but not able to believe or come to terms with it. She felt like she had been stabbed by an icy cold dagger, right through the chest. The coldness spread like a virus, infecting her whole body, stealing the warmth from her.

Rainbow nipped at the unicorn's neck, drawing a gasp from her, then pressed down harder against her. They both shared a moan. Twilight took another small step back. She glanced at Rainbow's eyes, and found them to look empty, yet filled at the same time- filled with passion and desire, directed towards another mare.

"N-n-no..." she choked out. She struggled to support her head with her neck, and her eyes burned with tears. She bared her teeth and a faint, broken, desperate whimper escaped her lips. She felt like her heart would give out if she saw any more. She clenched her eyes shut. Heat spilled out of her eyelids and slowly rolled down her cheeks and muzzle, tickling her as it trailed along, then cooling from the cool air.

More sounds of delight came from the bed, and Twilight could make out the ones coming from Rainbow. Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt like she was suffocating. She couldn't breathe. A long moan came from Rainbow, and the unicorn cooed. She felt like somepony had ripped her heart out and left a gaping hole in her chest. The void left her feeling empty. She stood there, her head bowed, crying, trembling, unable to move.

Seconds passed, and she felt like an eternity slowly crept by. The moment refused to end. Her mind refused to wake up from what had to be a dream- a nightmare. "W-why..." she whispered, her voice empty and soft, devoid of joy and life.

The moans and coos gradually ceased, being replaced by heavy breathing. Twilight barely managed to force her eyes open. She didn't have the strength or the will to lift her head up, but she managed to lift her eyes to the bed. Rainbow was still on top of the unicorn, and they were cuddling. Both of them were smiling, and they looked happy.

The stinging in her eyes intensified. She took a deep, shuddering breath, and slowly exhaled. Her cheeks were dampened by the tears overflowing her eyes, leaving visible damp trails in her coat. "A-am... I-I n-not... nuf?" she asked, her voice crackling and silent.

Seconds passed, and she instinctually took another step back. Rainbow nuzzled the unicorn's neck, then laid her head on her side on the unicorn's chest and looked at the wall. Twilight froze. She couldn't breathe again. If she moved, Rainbow would see her. She stood as still as she could. She trembled uncontrollably, and her hind legs wobbled. Rainbow's eyes were glossed over.

Twilight swallowed and sniffled. She shuddered and shook. Rainbow frowned a bit, then her smile faded. She looked right at Twilight. For a moment, she just stared at her, then her expression shifted. Fear and horror filled her eyes, vanquishing the glossiness which previously dominated them. "T-Twilight!?" Rainbow squeaked.

Twilight took a step back at the sound of Rainbow calling her name. "Twilight..." Rainbow said at length.

Twilight took another step back, then another, and she closed her eyes and shook her head. Rainbow glanced down at the unicorn, who didn't seem to realize what was happening. Rainbow grimaced and looked back at Twilight, then pushed herself up and hesitantly hopped down from the bed. She shifted her weight uncomfortably and stood there. She flicked her tail once and licked her lips. "U-um... T-Twilight..." She glanced back at herself and grimaced at how disheveled she was. Even after flicking her tail, some strands of her tail still clung to her. "U-um... I-I... uh... T-Twilight..."

Twilight shook her head and refused to look at Rainbow's disheveled, unkempt body. She took another step back and backed up against the wall. She squeaked and her hind legs gave out, causing her to collapse to the floor on her haunches.

Rainbow hesitantly took a step towards Twilight. "N-no..." Twilight replied hastily. "D-don't..."

"Twilight... I..." Rainbow trailed off, stopping where she was.

Twilight stared at Rainbow, her eyes looking empty and broken. The normal curiosity and joy hadn't just faded, it had been stolen. "Twilight..." Rainbow said softly, her heart aching from the sight. She took another step towards Twilight.

Twilight shook her head, clenched her eyes, and swallowed. She took a deep, shuddering breath, then bolted up and down the hallway.

"Twilight!" Rainbow called. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, and her lip throbbed. Her eyes burned.

Twilight ran towards the door. She opened her eyes and didn't stop, not to dry her eyes so she could see clearly, and not to open the door. She opened the door with her magic and bolted out into the night, pain and fear driving her on.

"T-Twilight!" Rainbow called again. She took another step towards the door, then another, and then broke out into a run, heading out of the room, down the hallway, and after Twilight. "Wait!" she called.

Twilight refused her heed her call, despite hearing it. She sobbed as she ran. Her only companions were despair, the memory replaying itself in her head, and the sounds of her hooves hitting the cobblestone street. The only other pony around was the pony chasing her. She could hear Rainbow's hooves, and the sound drew closer like she was catching up. Fear overwhelmed her and drove her to run faster. Her legs shook, even as she ran, and her entire body trembled. She whimpered and coughed as she exhaled, choking on the pain and the knot in her throat.

"Twilight! S-stop!" Rainbow shouted, running full speed after Twilight. The alicorn still managed to maintain her lead somehow, despite Rainbow being more physically inclined. She felt warmth roll down her cheeks, then it cooled, the warmth stolen by the cold mountain air. "T-Twilight..." she whimpered. 'W-why d-did I...'

Condemnation slammed into her. Rainbow felt like the air had been ripped from her lungs, and her willpower disintegrated. Her legs refused to keep running, and she gradually slowed to a trot, then to a walk, then she shuffled forward. "W-why..?" she pleaded. "T-Twilight... I-I'm s-sorry..." she choked out, clenching her eyes shut. She collapsed onto her haunches and she hung her head limply.

Nopony was around to see her breakdown or see what she had done. Nopony except Twilight, and Twilight was long gone, vanished into the night. Her forehooves gave out, and she collapsed onto the street and sobbed, lacking the willpower to stop herself.

Twilight ran. Her hooves ached. Her head, legs, and chest all throbbed from pain. She couldn't even see for all the tears rendering her vision blurry, but she still ran as fast as she could. It was the only thing that helped, it managed to distract her, but not enough. She panicked, and her heart raced as she mindlessly galloped through Canterlot.

'S-she... w-why?' she pleaded. A begging, broken whimper escaped her lips from her tight, aching throat. 'W-why... why... why...' the thought repeated in her mind. Every kiss, every lick, ever nip, every moan, every brush, it all replayed itself in her mind. She tried to stop thinking about it, she tried to clear her mind, but nothing worked. Not thinking about her friends, nor magic theory. The memory haunted her, refusing to let go of her mind, refusing to give her a moment's rest.

Eventually, her legs burned, and her eyes dried. The knot in her throat remained. She shivered, cold and afraid. She gradually slowed down, then stopped. She studied her surroundings, hoping it would distract her, or that she'd recognize where she was, but she was neither distracted nor familiar with where she was. She stood there, looking around, lost, betrayed, looking like a filly lost in a crowd, unable to find her parents or anyone she recognized.

She hastily turned around and continued looking at her surroundings, her head sweeping around, and her eyes darting about, taking in the details. Her ears swiveled around, searching for any signs of life, or any signs of her pursuer, but all was silent.

'S-she ch-cheated on me... h-her f-first time...' Twilight clenched her eyes shut as the thought mercilessly rammed into her, crippling her and leveling her emotional integrity. She buried her head in her forehooves and she cried out into the night from the pain she endured. Her body shuddered with each sob, and the street took her tears and spread them out. She hyperventilated as she reeled from the trauma.

Minutes faded, perhaps hours. She lost track of the time, and it didn't matter to her what time it was. Her cries and sobs eventually faded, and her breathing regained some semblance of normalcy, but the pain stayed with her, keeping her company. The memory replayed itself in her mind, stronger than before. She felt sick to her stomach. She closed her eyes, only for it to be more vivid. Every sound, every action.

She forced her eyes open and stared unblinkingly, emotionlessly ahead. The memory was forever carved into her brain and her sight. 'W-why? Wh-what... did... I do wrong?' she continued to ask herself. The only answer she received was the memory replaying itself in her mind, Rainbow's first time with anypony. They weren't going to be able to share it, since Rainbow had been with another mare now.

She clenched her eyes shut as more heat welled up in her eyes. The tears rolled down her muzzle and soaked her face and forehooves. Despite her unrelenting tears, she was silent, and her breathing wasn't labored. The knot in her throat grew and ached worse, and she shivered more, spurred on by the cold night.

She laid there in silence, but eventually, the tears left her when she had nothing left to give them. More time passed, and she watched as the moon gradually slid across the sky, propelled on by Luna's magic. She wanted to stay there, all night. To just lay there until it was all over. She wanted to wake up from the nightmare, but it was too vivid, and Luna was nowhere to be seen. She didn't have the will to stand up or move at all. She just barely kept breathing, and only because it was something her body did without thinking.

Rainbow's mind felt blurry and foggy. Each step was a challenge as she shuffled back to Twilight's house in Canterlot. Pain gripped her, and every step felt harder than the last, but she continued on. 'I-I'm so, so sorry, Twilight...' replayed in her mind without ceasing.

She didn't even want to return to the house, knowing that it was Twilight's. She had violated Twilight's trust in her and completely broken it. She didn't want to admit how badly she screwed up, but she couldn't not admit it when it stared her in the face and stuck with her in her mind. It was all overshadowed by the way Twilight looked at her, and how Twilight fled so desperately to get away.

She felt like it was just all a dream, it was surreal. It couldn't be real, and yet she couldn't deny that it was real. 'I-I... I'm sorry... I... screwed up...' She couldn't keep moving as she admitted it. Her legs refused to obey her. She clenched her eyes shut, then reluctantly opened them and looked at the door, which she left open. The marble mansion stood proudly but seemed to stare at her with disapproval, almost as condemning as the look of horror on Twilight's face had been. There was a flash of green coming from behind the house, but she didn't care about it. It didn't matter, whatever it was wasn't worth investigating.

She had nowhere else to go for the night. She clenched her eyes shut, then resumed shuffling to the door. Once inside, she shut the door, then collapsed on her haunches and pressed her head against the door. She wanted to slam her head into the door again and again until it all went away, but she didn't have the strength. She took a deep, shuddering breath, then stood up. She swallowed down a knot in her throat and slowly turned around. The hallway was silent with nothing to distract her from what she did. She reluctantly shuffled down the hallway, heading to the bedroom. As she passed the walls, she could almost picture what could have been there, pictures of them together, smiling, laughing. Maybe even foals with them, hugging them, blowing out candles as they celebrated their birthdays.

Her eyes burned again, and her ears pinned back against her head. She could almost see the pictures, but as the wall became blurry, it all just faded away. The three emotions she felt were guilt, pain, and regret. She looked away from the wall and slowly staggered down the hallway until she reached the bedroom door. She leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, then swallowed. She hesitantly looked inside the room and looked at the bed, afraid of what she would see.

The bed was a mess, and her lover was gone. A pang of emptiness struck her, knowing that she was all alone in Twilight's house- what was going to be their house.

She stood there, staring at the unkempt bed, her nose wrinkling from the reminder of her failure. She clenched her eyes shut, then pulled away from the bedroom. 'I-I'm sorry...'

She staggered into the living room, then approached the couch and collapsed on it. She buried her head in the armrest and pressed her head against it, hoping it would alleviate her pain, but it did not. She took a deep, shuddering breath, hoping to calm herself down enough to sleep. The couch smelled like Twilight, bringing memories to the forefront of her mind. How happy Twilight was to be with her, the moments they shared together, every hug, every nuzzle, and the look on Twilight's face before she ran away. She whimpered and let out a choked sob.

And she cried, knowing she had thrown it all away. "I-I'm s-sorry Twilight..." she whimpered. "W-what... am I supposed t-to do?" she pleaded. 'I-I... I... Ishould... t-try to... find... Twilight...' The thought didn't help her feel any better, only causing dread to well up inside of her. She whimpered again.

The pain had faded away, leaving only an empty feeling deep within Twilight. She weakly carried herself along, not even knowing where she was going, only knowing that she was going somewhere. The memory refused to cease playing in her mind, despite hours having passed. The pain associated with it remained, but she didn't feel it. She didn't feel the pain, or the hurt, or the cold, only emptiness, hollowness, and a soul-crushing loneliness. She said nothing as she walked alone.

Questions no longer plagued her mind, and silence reigned supreme as she shuffled down the streets. There was too much going on, too much trauma for her to handle, and so her mind went blank, still replaying the memory, over and over, without an end.

Eventually, she realized she had come to a stop. She stared down at the stone beneath her hooves, not really wanting to look up from it. There wasn't anything worth seeing, and it wasn't worth putting the effort into it. She blinked slowly, then wearily glanced upward. Canterlot Castle greeted her eyes, standing before her like a jewel, pristine and unscathed.

A wave of exhaustion washed over her, and her hind legs gave out. She didn't even try to catch herself as she fell to her haunches. She closed her eyes and breathed calmly for several minutes, then she shivered from the cold air. She fluffed her wings, then gradually looked up and let her eyes wander over the castle's marble construction, edges plated with gold, and the caps painted purple and gold in a swirling design.

She found her gaze drawn to two of the towers with balconies. Without even thinking, she stood up and extended her wings. She listened to the sound of powerful wingbeats breaking the night as her wings carried her through the air, towards one of the balconies, and she studied the ground beneath her absently. The garden no longer looked welcoming, nor calm, nor peaceful, only empty.

She swallowed and clenched her eyes shut. She felt the chilly night air nipping at her coat, sapping her warmth, and flowing through her mane and tail. The wind caressed her feathers, flowing around and in between them. The feeling would have been relaxing, perhaps comforting, any other time, but tonight, it was just a memory of all the times she had flown with Rainbow.

She whimpered and shuddered with a single traumatized sniffle, her body heaving. The aching, burning knot in her throat returned. Before she realized it, and yet after far longer than she wanted, she felt the cold marble beneath her hooves once more.

She took a deep breath and reluctantly staggered forward. Every step was a struggle, and seconds would pass between her lifting up her hooves for a step. She reluctantly looked at the balcony door as she came to a stop. She couldn't tell whether it was Celestia's or Luna's balcony.

She swallowed and sat down on her haunches, then bowed her head against the door, resting against it. She sniffled again and slowly lifted a hoof to knock. A few weak claps came from her hoof as she knocked on the door, then her hoof slid back to the floor, no longer having the strength nor the will to continue. She whimpered desperately as seconds passed, and she closed her eyes.

For all she knew, nopony heard her. She could have been on Luna's balcony, and Luna might not have even been there. She could have been on Celestia's balcony, and she could be sleeping so soundly that her weak knocks didn't reach her ears. Her knocks could have been so weak that even if either of them were there and awake, they didn't notice them. Or, so faint that they didn't think a thing about it. For all she knew, she would end up sitting there all night, cold and at a loss of what to do, since she didn't have anything left, save for the memory replaying itself in her mind, and the pain it brought.

Twilight heard a click and barely found the strength to support her head and lift it up before the door opened, revealing a tall, dark figure standing in the door. Princess Luna's ethereal mane and tail flowed calmly, and her eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Twilight..?"

Twilight sat there, studying Luna. She swallowed and blinked a couple of times, then sniffled and hung her head.

"Twilight... what is wrong?" Luna asked softly. She took a step forward, then sat down on her haunches and leaned down a little closer to Twilight.

Twilight reluctantly picked herself up, then wrapped her forelegs around Luna and buried her head in her chest, laying her horn on Luna's shoulder. She whimpered desperately, her voice breaking and weak.

Luna frowned and wrapped her wings around Twilight and held her close and protectively. She stayed silent and let Twilight sob into her chest while she stared out into the night, pondering what left Twilight in such a state at such a time. She lifted her right foreleg, then pulled Twilight closer and started stroking her mane to try to reassure and calm her.

Twilight continued to whimper and cry, her tears soaking both her face and Luna's chest.

"Twilight... do you want me to go get my sister?" Luna asked softly.

Twilight whimpered but nodded, rubbing her head against Luna's chest in the process.

Luna watched Twilight for a moment and stroked her mane once more. "I will be right back... will you be okay here alone for a minute?" she asked.

Twilight continued to whimper and cry, sniffling and shuddering.

Luna squeezed Twilight, then reluctantly unwrapped her wings from her. "Perhaps I should bring you to Celestia instead..." she mused. She grimaced, then used her magic to teleport both of them to Celestia's bedroom.

The sharp crack of magic punctuating their arrival immediately woke Celestia, who groaned softly and looked around before seeing Luna. "Luna..?" she asked. Her vision sharpened as she saw the younger, smaller alicorn against her. "Twilight..?" she asked softly. Twilight sniffled and whimpered softly. Celestia's heart ached and she found her throat tightening as soon as she heard the faint, pleading whimper. "What happened?" she asked as she hurried out of bed. She rushed over to Twilight and sat down on her haunches.

"I do not know, sister... she just... showed up on my balcony... like this..." Luna stated at length, wearing a grimace.

"Twilight?" Celestia said softly. "Are you okay?"

Twilight only whimpered in response. She reluctantly let go of Luna and all but jumped against Celestia and buried her head against Celestia's coat. Her body shook as she struggled to breathe while sniffling. Celestia stared at Luna's darkened coat for several seconds before she blinked and wrapped a wing around Twilight. "It's alright, Twilight..." she said softly. She leaned down and wrapped herself around Twilight, holding her close to protect and comfort her. She looked at Luna, who lingered, wearing an uneasy expression. "Luna, go find out what happened."

Luna hesitantly nodded, then stood up and teleported away.

Celestia wrapped her forelegs around Twilight and gave her a reassuring squeeze, holding her tightly for several seconds before relenting. It didn't help, and Twilight continued to cry and whimper pleadingly. "Twilight... I need you to calm down and talk to me," she said softly.

Twilight whimpered more frantically than before, and she held onto Celestia even tighter, making her grunt from the force. "Shh... Twilight... it's okay... just calm down and relax..." Celestia whispered softly. She lifted her head back up and started stroking Twilight's mane with her forehoof, hoping to ease her cries.

Chapter 2
View Online

Glimpses of Regret

Chapter 2

"Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow's forehoof and ear twitched in her sleep. She rolled over and pressed her head into the couch cushion, then nuzzled subconsciously. A little smile pulled on her lips as she inhaled Twilight's familiar scent, and the disturbance was forgotten. She gently nuzzled deeper into the couch cushion, seeking the familiar comfort Twilight brought her. Even though Twilight's scent was there, it felt wrong; She knew it wasn't a part of Twilight's body that she was nuzzling, so her nuzzle slowed to a stop.

"Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow groaned softly, and her ear flicked again. She nestled into the couch more despite being vaguely aware it wasn't Twilight, trying to escape the distant disturbance. Her wings shifted as if trying to cover more of her body.

Princess Luna took a deep breath, then silently strode into the living room from the hallway. She walked around in front of the couch, then came to a stop, watching the pegasus sleep. A dozen questions fled through her mind, all of them were questions she hoped the future princess could answer for her. But first, the pegasus needed to wake up. "Rainbow Dash," she said again, her even voice in a conversational tone.

Rainbow jerked in her sleep, and her head shot up. "Huh..? Wuh..?" she mumbled. She winced as her head throbbed as a result of her hangover, though it subsided to the back of her mind. After a few seconds, she blinked her eyes, finally realizing that the dark figure standing before her was a pony that she recognized. She followed the coat upwards and then met Luna's gaze. The alicorn looked at her calmly, yet curiously.

"Rainbow, why did Twilight show up on my balcony crying like a filly who was told that her parents had been killed?"

Rainbow recoiled and froze. The question was asked in an almost absent tone, like how one would ask how another's day was going. Yet the content of the question struck her to her core, ripping up everything it came into touch with. Her eyes took on an empty look as her mind replayed the events from last night. She felt sick, and she could still the phantom pleasure it had brought her, as if it was still happening. It was fresh in her mind. She wasn't sure whether that or the memory of the way Twilight looked as she fled was worse. Both memories sent a shiver down her spine, both condemning her for her mistake. She stayed deathly silent.

"Rainbow Dash?" Luna asked again, her brow creasing in concern.

Rainbow shifted her weight and clenched her jaw. Her chest tightened, and she felt a knot form in her throat, aching and throbbing with pain. She opened her mouth to answer, but only a weak squeak came out. After several seconds, she closed her mouth and closed her eyes in defeat. She looked like she was about to cry, or hyperventilate. As it was, her body trembled.

Luna frowned a little, but stayed silent, watching the pegasus. She watched on as Rainbow gradually let her head fall to face the floor, and her ears pinned back. Eventually, she opened her eyes, but they remained empty, save for a haunted expression. Rainbow stared down at the couch cushion and a weak whimper escaped her lips. "Rainbow Dash..." Luna started cautiously, "what happened..?"

Rainbow couldn't look at Luna, and she couldn't answer. Her throat was too tight from the knot. She couldn't even swallow it back. Even if she could, what was she to say? How could she say it? How could she fix what happened? Could she fix what happened? The look of raw betrayal and brokenness that Twilight had looked at her with lingered in her mind. She clenched her eyes shut and pressed her forehead into the couch, trying to stave off tears, to no avail.

Luna's expression softened. She sighed softly, then used her magic to cause a wave of exhaustion to flood Rainbow's body, immediately causing her to go limp and drift back to sleep. Luna watched Rainbow for a couple of minutes, noting that her tears refused to stop even in her sleep. Eventually, she averted her gaze, then stood back up. She calmly strode towards the hallway, then turned to the right. She continued down the hallway, then stopped at the bedroom and looked inside. As before, the room was left a disarrayed mess. Luna looked at all of it evenly, having already seen it before searching out Rainbow.

She lingered for a little bit, then her muzzle scrunched up in disgust at the smell. She turned back down the hallway, heading for the door. As she strode towards the exit, she noticed that unlike before, the house had a feeling of emptiness- the normal warmth and happiness that usually welcomed her was nowhere to be found. She pushed the thought aside as she stepped out onto the street and spread her wings.

Princess Celestia wore a pained grimace, and her eyes were tired. She continued watching Twilight, running her forehoof through her mane in slow, gentle strokes, parting her mane and brushing it like how she had done when Twilight had been just a filly. Despite her best efforts to calm and comfort her, Twilight continued to shake and shiver, although her tears and sobbing had ceased. She still let out the occasional, soft, broken whimper of pain, and every one made Celestia's heart throbbed painfully and physically pained her. She licked her dry lips and swallowed back the tightness in her throat. After another second, she blinked, then reluctantly turned her head towards the doorway.

Luna stood there silently, watching Twilight and her sister warily.

"Anything?" Celestia asked softly, not wanting to disturb Twilight.

Luna slowly bobbed her head. A few seconds passed, then she calmly stepped into the room and closed the door to the bedroom behind her. She approached Twilight, scrutinizing her. Her brow creased, and her lips twisted downward. "She is still awake..?" she asked curiously.

Celestia nodded hesitantly, then looked back at Twilight. The alicorn laid halfway curled up on her stomach, with her head buried in Celestia's shoulder. Most of Twilight's body was hidden by Celestia's left wing, covering and protecting her.

"Has she said anything..?" Luna asked cautiously.

Celestia shook her head. "No... just... it's been an hour, and she hasn't said anything or stopped whimpering and shivering..." she trailed off and pulled Twilight closer to her with her enveloping wing. She would have felt better if Twilight felt cold since she could at least help warm her up, but as it was, they were both warm. But that warmth didn't seem to help Twilight feel any better.

"Do you want me to help her sleep?" Luna inquired.

Celestia's forehoof stopped midstroke. She blinked, then looked back at Luna. Luna looked at Twilight sympathetically. Celestia studied her sister's features for several seconds, then turned back to look down at Twilight when she whimpered again.

"It may help her, sister," Luna coaxed.

Celestia nodded slowly. She leaned down and nuzzled Twilight's head, trying to get her attention. "Twilight?" she asked in her soft, motherly voice. Twilight shifted and pressed up against her a little more, a quiet whimper escaping her throat. Celestia swallowed. "Luna's going to help you sleep..." she said softly. She watched Twilight for any reaction, but none was forthcoming. She pried her eyes off of Twilight and then looked at Luna.

Luna nodded slowly, then walked around to the bed. She lit her horn with her bright blue aura, casting a dim yet pure blue light throughout the dimly lit bedroom, and she gently touched her horn to Twilight's horn.

Twilight's body and mind resisted, but ever so slowly, her shivering ceased, and her whimpers were silenced. Her chest rose and fell calmly. Twilight's resistance finally faded, and she laid there limply as she slept. Luna lifted her head back up and watched the two of them.

Celestia swallowed, then looked back at Luna. "What happened?" she pleaded.

Luna pursed her lips and bobbed her head. "I... am not entirely sure," she admitted. "Although..." she trailed off, grimacing. "I believed that they wanted to wait until they were married, but..."

Celestia frowned. "Did they-"

"They may have," Luna acknowledged. "Their bedroom was... a mess... but... I... do not know," she admitted. "Rainbow was on the couch, sleeping. I asked her what had happened, but she did not give me an answer," she stated.

Celestia slowly looked back at Twilight and shifted her weight. She lit her horn with her magic, then went over Twilight's body, using her magic to examine her. "Twilight's still a virgin," she said quietly. She shifted her weight uncomfortably, then looked back at Luna. "Are you sure that-"

Luna frowned. "Yes. The smell was... distinctive."

Celestia looked away from Luna and stared at the wall for several seconds. She blinked, and her eyes darted from spot to spot as she thought. "And Rainbow-"

"Yes," Luna acknowledged.

Celestia pursed her lips, then swallowed. She reluctantly looked back over at Twilight's sleeping form. "Then... what... happened?"

Luna looked away from Celestia and Twilight. "I... could visit their dreams, but... given the circumstances, I am not comfortable with violating their privacy."

Celestia grimaced and nodded slowly. "That's okay, Luna. We'll... just have to figure it out another way. In the morning, I will talk with Rainbow."

Luna nodded. "Very well. She does seem to take better to you than me, despite us sharing the Element of Loyalty." She waited a few seconds, watching Celestia and Twilight. "Did you need anything else, sister?" she asked.

Celestia slowly shook her head. "No... I'll stay with Twilight tonight," she said softly. "I can't just... leave her like this."

"That may be for the best," Luna agreed."I will see to it that her room is prepared, in case she stays for a while."

Celestia nodded, then looked back at Luna.

Luna watched them for a few more seconds, then she turned around and silently strode out of the bedroom. She closed the door behind her with barely a sound.

Celestia stared at the door for several minutes before she yawned. She blinked a few times, then looked back over at Twilight. She laid her head down near Twilight's and pulled her body closer, then closed her eyes.

Rainbow groaned as a knocking sound broke the silence filling the house. Her head pulsed and throbbed painfully, making her press her head hard into the couch in an attempt to muffle the pain. Eventually, the lack of moving eased the throbbing away. She hesitantly lifted her head up and groggily opened her eyes. Bright sunlight immediately assaulted her. "Gah!" she groaned, clenching her eyes in order to protect them from the bright morning light.

The knocking came again. She reluctantly blinked her eyes open and allowed them to slowly adjust to the light. She groaned as her head resumed throbbing from her hangover. She sighed, then slowly pushed her body up into a sitting position. She reluctantly slid off the couch and stood up, narrowly avoiding slipping off the couch and falling onto the floor. She wobbled a bit on her legs, then she looked around the room. She reluctantly shuffled towards the hallway. Her muzzle scrunched up in disgust, though it almost immediately disappeared to be replaced by an empty expression.

'Why did I do that...'

She swallowed and blinked, then shook her head. She winced as her head pulsed painfully, but she fought through it and shuffled towards the door. Every step felt like it took longer than the last. Normally, she may not have been as well-groomed as Rarity, but she would have at least considered herself presentable, but after last night, she still hadn't cleaned up, leaving her a self-conscious, disheveled mess as she reluctantly cracked the door open.

"Good morning, Rainbow Dash," Celestia's calm, warming voice greeted.

Rainbow froze at the sound of the familiar, caring voice, and kept the door just barely cracked open. She didn't see Celestia, and Celestia didn't' see her, but both of them knew the other was there. For several seconds, she didn't breathe, and when she finally did, her chest felt tight.

"May I come in?" Celestia asked softly.

Rainbow swallowed, and almost instinctively opened the door a little more, although it was a painfully slow process. As the gap slowly widened, she could see the street beyond was deserted. Eventually, Celestia's majestic, multicolored tail came into her sight in all of its billowing, ethereal glory. She swallowed as the white of Celestia's coat made itself known, and she felt like she was on a stage with everypony staring at her as the door opened enough to reveal Celestia's face. Despite Celestia's gentle, unassuming smile, she felt the urge, no, the need to run away as fast as she could as Celestia's eyes traced over her unkempt, impure body.

Rainbow blinked and swallowed, then blinked several times. She took a couple steps back and to the side, and Celestia calmly stepped inside the doorway and into the hallway. Rainbow stared at the alicorn as she closed the door with her magic. She pinned her wings to her side and stood rigidly, though fidgeting on her hooves, yearning to run away from her as fast as she could.

"Can we talk?" Celestia asked in an unassuming, gentle tone.

Rainbow swallowed again, then quickly nodded. She winced at the throb of pain in her head. Celestia's brow creased and she frowned. After a moment, there was a flash of soft yellow light, and a wave of relief washed over Rainbow, vanquishing the pain emanating from her head as the toxins were banished from her body.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

Rainbow studied Celestia's form and licked her lips. A flicker of a memory passed through her mind, and she could see it in her eyes. The flicker grew, and for a moment, reality faded away as the memory replayed itself in her mind. Her chest and throat tightened. She closed her eyes, then shook her head. She opened her mouth to say no, but all that came out was a high-pitched squeak, making herself feel like a foal in front of the princess.

A soft wing slid around her side, and after a moment, she felt Celestia's warm, soft coat against her body. She opened her eyes and looked at Celestia in disbelief as she gently pulled her against her body. Rainbow didn't have it in her to resist, and so she let Celestia hold her. She took a breath, only for her chest to shudder from pain as she inhaled.

"What happened?" Celestia asked softly.

Rainbow opened her mouth, but she still didn't know what to say. All that escaped was another squeak.

Celestia held her a little closer with her wing. "Just relax... take your time," she said softly. Rainbow sniffled and shuddered as she struggled to hold herself together. "Just let it out..." Celestia coaxed softly.

Rainbow clenched her jaw and vigorously shook her head. Letting it out would make it real, it would be admitting that it actually happened, admitting that she had broke Twilight's heart, something she had promised not to do. Despite her best efforts to stop herself, her eyes started to burn. She pressed them closed and fought valiantly against the pain and memories, but the more she fought, the longer they lingered in her mind, whispering condemnation into her ears over her failure. It was a cycle that fed on itself- the more she tried to fight it, the longer the memory of how Twilight looked at her lingered, the more she felt hopelessly condemned, and thus the more she thought about how badly she had hurt Twilight last night.

Every time she tried to say something, all that came out was a squeak. Her throat was too tight to speak, even swallowing didn't help. Her body shuddered with every breath, despite how rigid she held herself. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to distract herself, but the pain from her broken lip barely registered in her mind which was too consumed by replaying the same thoughts over and over again, without any relent or mercy. One of the feelings which stood out was the heat rolling down her muzzle from her eyes, almost tickling her muzzle, despite her eyes being forced closed as tight as she could.

"W-where... i-is she?" Rainbow finally squeaked out, her voice crackling uncontrollably from pain.

It took Celestia a few seconds to make it out. She held Rainbow a little tighter, then let up on her grip. "She is at the castle," she replied in a soft, calm tone. "Perhaps... it would be best if my sister and myself stayed out of this... this matter is between you and Twilight..."

Rainbow sobbed once and leaned forward, her forelegs wobbling from weakness.

"Rainbow Dash?" Celestia asked softly. She slowly unfolded her right wing and reacher around to caress the edges of Rainbow's closed eyes with a feather to brush her tears away, but almost immediately, the tears returned. She felt a throb of pain in her chest.

Rainbow hesitantly opened her eyes and stared ahead at the empty, blurry wall. She hesitantly looked up at Celestia. "H-how... I fix th-th-this?" she choked out.

Celestia's lips curved downward. "I cannot say, Rainbow... I do not know for sure what has happened between you and Twilight, but... both of you are hurting badly. Twilight hasn't even spoken since she showed up..." she trailed off quietly. "I... know I offered to stay out of this matter, but... do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked softly.

Rainbow swallowed. The tight knot lingered. She hung her head and averted her gaze from Celestia's eyes. Even her attempts to look away from her couldn't completely hide Celestia's pure white coat from her sight. She swallowed again, almost desperately. She pressed her eyes closed and tried to steady herself by focusing all of her willpower on taking one deep breath. Her body still shuddered as she inhaled. She held the breath, then exhaled and inhaled again, once more causing her body to shake. She licked her dry lips and ignored the indentation left in them from biting down hard enough to draw blood. 'Just say it. She'd want me to... maybe... she'll forgive me...' She whimpered softly. Instead of thinking of Twilight making her heart flutter, or bringing a memory of her happy, sweet giggle, or a soft, yet still bright smile, all it brought was the memory of her haunted expression from last night.

She sobbed again, croaking.

"I-I slept with another mare!" she squeaked out. Immediately, her body tensed up completely, locking up and staying as rigid as a stone.

Celestia was silent.

Rainbow's forelegs wobbled, despite her best efforts to not move, then they gave out as another thought slithered through her mind, and she fell down onto the floor. She buried her head in her forehooves and whimpered. "A-and s-she saw!" she squealed.

Celestia stared down at Rainbow unmoving, her wing still frozen as if Rainbow was still sitting, held up against her body. After several seconds, she swallowed and absently folded her wing. 'Twilight... Rainbow, you broke her heart... I am so sorry...' She swallowed and closed her eyes. 'You're both hurting so much...'

Rainbow had betrayed Twilight in more than one way, too, and Celestia knew it. She was at a loss of what to do, of how to move on. She knew what to say, saying it was easy, offering advice on how to fix it was easy. Actually fixing it wasn't easy- a few magical words just wouldn't make things okay. Actions had real consequences, especially when something can't be undone.

Celestia licked her lips, then lifted Rainbow up with her magic and turned her around. She lifted a foreleg up, then levitated Rainbow in against her chest. Rainbow whimpered and acted almost like she would try to fight it, but for whatever reason, she didn't. Celestia figured it was because she didn't have the strength left. She wrapped her foreleg around Rainbow, holding her there. Rainbow's cries sounded nearly as pained as Twilight's cries. She wrapped her wings around Rainbow's body, sheltering the shivering pegasus, and then she laid her head down on Rainbow's head and gave her a short nuzzle. Despite her chest muffling Rainbow's sobs, she could still hear them.

No matter what Luna did, all Twilight did was lay there, staring blankly at the blanket below her. She wouldn't even acknowledge anything Luna said, and so Twilight remained silent. Because Twilight stayed silent, Luna remained quiet, still standing watch over her and keeping her company, despite Twilight seeming to not even notice her. Twilight looked lost in thought and preoccupied, but there was also an emptiness to her; she wasn't entirely there, or perhaps worse, she simply wasn't there.

If she didn't know any better, Luna would say that she was watching a corpse, but Twilight's periodic blinking ruled out that possibility, as did her calm, shallow breathing.

The door quietly opened, accompanied by the gentle thrum of magic. Luna's ears perked up, but she continued to watch Twilight. After a second, hoofsteps hit the floor and grew in volume. "Sister," she acknowledged casually.

The hoofsteps continued their approach without ceasing, and the door was closed by magic. After a few seconds, Celestia came to a stop beside her younger sister. "Anything?" she asked softly, her eyes looking over Twilight's downcast form. Twilight didn't even acknowledge her arrival.

Luna shook her head. "She has neither said a word nor moved from that spot since she woke up," she answered. She reluctantly looked away from Twilight to study her sister's expression. Celestia looked almost haunted, but she could see that she was also deep in thought. "What of you?" she asked.

Celestia pursed her lips. "Not here," she said softly. "I do not want to... disturb... Twilight..." she trailed off.

Luna nodded, then hesitantly pulled away from the doorway and walked into the study. Celestia joined her and closed the door to Twilight's bedchambers. Celestia's horn pulsed with her soft, yellow aura, and the walls took on a shimmering appearance for a moment before fading. "You do not wish Twilight to hear," Luna noted.

"I don't want it leaving this room," Celestia corrected.

Luna nodded curtly. "What has transpired?"

Celestia sighed and sat down on her haunches. She looked over the bookshelf and bobbed her head. "Rainbow... she was unfaithful."

Luna was silent for a moment. "Rainbow was with another mare," she surmised cooly.

Celestia hesitantly nodded. "From what she said, Twilight saw..."

Luna recoiled slightly. "That..." she trailed off.

"She's hurting, Luna. Both of them are," Celestia stated. "Rainbow regrets what she did. When I asked her why, she says she doesn't know. She said she had been drinking, but that-"

Luna's nostrils flared. "So, because she was drinking, she intoxicated herself and compromised her judgment, then decided to break two oaths to Twilight in one night," she growled.

"Luna," Celestia chastized calmly.

Luna looked at Celestia sharply. "She bears the Element of Loyalty," she growled.

Celestia sighed and nodded. "Perhaps that may be another reason why Twilight is hurting so much. Since Rainbow is supposed to be loyal, then... this has hit her even harder." She shook her head. "I told her to talk to Twilight, but she's afraid Twilight hates her now. I think she hates herself..." she trailed off. "Still, even if Rainbow did make a mistake, this... I do not like it. Even if she did get drunk, practically everypony knows about her and Twilight... I do not believe anypony in their right mind would... jeopardize that..." she said quietly.

"You believe there is something else at play, sister?" Luna asked cautiously.

Celestia bobbed her head. "I don't know. There could be. It seems suspect that anypony would sleep with her when the wedding is next month, however, it could still simply be a case that both of their judgments were compromised..." she trailed off and sighed.

"Regardless, this does not change that Rainbow broke two oaths to Twilight," Luna stated.

Celestia reluctantly nodded. "I don't know how we can help them. Well... perhaps I should say I do not know if we can help them. This is a matter between them. We can always give them advice, but we cannot fix it for them."

Luna nodded cautiously. "Perhaps they need time away from each other, or perhaps the best way to help Twilight would be to keep Rainbow away from her."

"Luna..." Celestia said warily. She looked at her sister with a tired expression. "You know how much those two love each other. You know how much Rainbow means to Twilight."

"And Rainbow broke her heart," Luna replied.

Celestia remained silent. After a few seconds, she glanced down at the floor. She studied the marble floor for a moment before looking back at the bookshelf. "I will see if Cadance can help..." she said quietly.

"What if Twilight does not want help, sister? What if she never wants to see Rainbow again?" Luna asked. "Have you considered that?"

Celestia looked at Luna almost hopelessly. After a few seconds, she looked away from her. Her eyes were almost glossy. "I don't know... I-I just want them to be happy," she whispered.

Author's Note

When I first wrote this, I didn't really consider how intrusive Celestia's little examination of Twilight's body was...

Also, I should probably mention that these first two chapters have been written for like 5-6 months. Chapter 3 had been mostly written, but I didn't finish it until maybe a month or two ago...

I sort of feel like this story needs the drama tag, but it's not really all that dramatic.

I hope you're all enjoying this.

Chapter 3
View Online

Glimpses of Regret

Chapter 3

Twilight's stomach growled. She stared at the platter of food presented to her. Despite having not eaten in three days, she still stayed there, unmoving and silent. The only difference was that instead of not reacting, she had actually looked at the platter of food. It was a good sign, she was still there. But, despite her acknowledging the arrival of food, as with every time before, she just stared at it almost like she wasn't really looking at it. Like it wasn't there, or like she wasn't there.

Celestia frowned as she watched Twilight. "Twilight... you need to eat," she said softly. And yet, Twilight continued to ignore her, acting as if she hadn't spoken a single word. It made Celestia's heart ache. "Twilight..." she sighed. "You haven't eaten in days. You need to eat."

Of course, she knew that Twilight knew she could go for a few weeks without eating anything. Celestia still hoped Twilight wouldn't wait that long since not eating for such a long time would be bad for her health. But a part of her was afraid that Twilight didn't care about it being bad for her health. A part of her was afraid that Twilight would just waste away, never speaking again, never eating again, always looking distant and empty, until she just faded away to nothing more than a memory.

Yet, despite Twilight's seeming emptiness, she could see her nostrils flaring. Despite her attempts to try to act like she wasn't interested in food, Celestia could tell that she was hungry and wanted to eat. But she still laid there, her head hung limply, just barely held above the covers on the bed.

"Twilight..." Celestia whispered. She leaned over to her and gave her a nuzzle, trying to break her out of her unresponsive state. As with every time before, it didn't work. Twilight didn't acknowledge it in the slightest, and Celestia didn't have it in her to nudge her enough to force her to react.

"She still is not eating, sister?" Luna asked.

Celestia's head whipped around in surprise. Luna stood in the doorway, silent and still, carefully watching her sister and Twilight. "Luna, you startled me," Celestia said.

Luna grimaced for a split second and bowed her head. "My apologies, sister... I did not intend to."

Celestia watched Luna for a few seconds and nodded, then she looked back at Twilight and swallowed. She looked so passive and lifeless. If it wasn't for Twilight's breathing and nostrils twitching, she would have looked like a mannequin.

"Do you wish to give her more time?" Luna asked.

Celestia nibbled on her lower lip. "If she does not start eating... I do not look forward to the prospect of forcing her to eat."

Twilight didn't react.

Luna shuffled into the room and then stood beside the bed. "Perhaps she does not want to eat and knows exactly what ramifications that will bring."

Celestia felt a shiver run down her spine, and she looked over at Luna with an expression of dread. "You think that-"

"Perhaps," Luna answered. "She hasn't spoken a word, and she has barely moved. She is still... struggling with it. She has nightmares, but... they're not quite nightmares. She does not seem to understand what is happening in the dreams..." she trailed off, grimacing.

"This isn't working," Celestia said softly. "Cadance should be here soon, but..." She grimaced. "Maybe we should ask Rainbow to see Twilight."

"We both know Rainbow would decline," Luna stated casually. "She's terrified of facing Twilight again..."

Celestia mulled it over and found herself grimacing. She glanced at the bed and sighed softly. After several seconds, Celestia looked back at Twilight. She had reacted to something. Her eyes were now clenched, and her head was lying on the bed. She looked physically pained and like she could start crying without any warning. Celestia sighed softly in defeat. "We shouldn't discuss this around her," she stated in a soft voice. She extended her wing, then slowly brushed it over Twilight's back, trying to comfort her.

"Perhaps," Luna agreed.

Celestia slowly stood up from the bed and folded her wing back to her side, then walked to the study. Luna followed behind her, then closed the door. "You know how much she loves Rainbow, Luna."

Luna nodded solemnly. "Rainbow broke her heart. I... fear that Twilight will... do something drastic."

"What?" Celestia's eyes widened. "You..."

"Perhaps I am mistaken. I hope that I am... Regardless, Rainbow has already gone back to Ponyville," Luna stated.

Celestia's brow creased. "What? Why?"

Luna grimaced and shifted her weight. She shuffled over to one of the bookshelves. "She is scared. She doesn't know what to do. She... made a mistake. I did visit her dreams. She's haunted by it. She doesn't feel that she can face Twilight again."

Celestia nodded slowly. "I can understand that, but... why go back to Ponyville? Twilight needs her!"

"And she does not realize that. All she remembers is the look on Twilight's face..." Luna trailed off. "Perhaps Cadance will be able to help Twilight and Rainbow."

Celestia turned her head back towards the door to Twilight's bedchambers. "I hope so..." she said quietly.

Rainbow could only watch out the window in silence as Ponyville crept closer. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she shifted her weight and held her wings protectively against her sides. 'What am I going to tell them..?' she wondered. The thought only brought on dread.

With any luck, none of her friends would be at the station to see her return. With any luck, she could avoid them for a while, but even with luck, they'd eventually find out that she was back, and then they'd find out Twilight wasn't back, and then they'd go see her and ask her about it, and then her luck wouldn't hold up.

She could always lie, or at least try to. 'Twilight stayed in Canterlot to... take care of something...' she thought. It might fool most ponies if she could say it without showing that it was a lie and that something was wrong with her, but she wasn't sure if it would fool her friends. They'd ask for specifics. 'Maybe they'd believe that I don't remember... or that I wasn't paying attention...'

She looked away from the window and looked down at her hooves on the seat. Applejack wouldn't be fooled, no matter how hard she tried. Applejack would know she was lying; she'd see right through it, and lying would just make things worse. 'Can I really lie to them about this... anyway?' she asked herself.

The question left her feeling empty and numb. Not telling them everything was one thing, but actually lying to them was something completely different. 'And... lying to them about this...' The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. She couldn't lie about this. She wasn't one to think things through, but even she could see lying about what happened would backfire and explode in her face when they found out what actually happened, and it was a when rather than an if.

Her best option was to actually just tell them what happened. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn't even sure if she could bring herself to tell them what happened. A part of her wanted to say it really wasn't any of their business, but she had hurt Twilight, and since they were all Twilight's friends too, it affected them.

She opened her eyes and looked back out the window. Waves of dread surged up inside her chest, and her whole body felt constricted as the anxiety washed over her. She'd have to face them. The only way she could get out of having the conversation with them would be to say she didn't want to talk about it. That wasn't a lie. But then, even that was only a delay tactic.

She'd have to face the reality of the situation sooner or later, and somepony would see to it. Whether it was her friends, or Luna, or Celestia.

She shivered, then fluffed her wings and held them tight to her sides once more.

"What will they say to me when they... find out..?" she whispered to herself. She could remember how happy all of them had been when they had informed them that they were dating. And then how excited they were all when they told them they were engaged. Rarity begged Twilight to let her take charge of everything, and the rest of the girls asked to help too. "You're all going to be so disappointed with me..." she whispered, almost letting out a whimper.

Rainbow clenched her eyes shut, then took a deep breath. Her body trembled with pain and emotion, but she contained it and held back her tears. Crying wouldn't change anything, and it'd just serve to display to the whole world that something was wrong.

She hadn't talked to Twilight, let alone seen her since that night. She couldn't face her. Twilight wouldn't want to see her. It would be better if she let Twilight decide when to see her next. It would give both of them time. She was afraid to see Twilight again, not knowing what her reaction would be. Not knowing was better than knowing. Maybe Twilight would forgive her, maybe they'd move on. But she wouldn't forgive herself, she wouldn't move on.

And her biggest fear was that Twilight would hate her, reject her, and be through with her. Rainbow knew she deserved it. And maybe running away from her problem was just making it worse. She bared her teeth in disgust, a single thought running through her mind, 'Coward...'

And yet, she couldn't change it. She wasn't that strong. All she could do was hold back the tears.

The train car lurched slightly as the brakes kicked in, slowing the train down.

Rainbow felt like she slammed into a brick wall. She struggled to breathe from the sudden jolt. She was back in Ponyville. She had left Twilight alone after hurting her. She hadn't gone off after Twilight. She hadn't tried to stop her. She hadn't tried to talk to her. She hadn't apologized and pleaded for Twilight to forgive her. She ran away back to Ponyville, leaving Twilight in Canterlot. She left Twilight in Canterlot.

All too soon, the motion of the train stopped. Rainbow blinked, then looked up. She swallowed and watched as ponies casually stood up and disembarked. After a few seconds, she numbly stood up and walked to the door, then stepped out onto the platform. There were maybe a dozen ponies present. Fortunately, none of them were her close friends.

She stood there silently, looking around aimlessly, watching as ponies meandered about. Some boarding the train, but most of them gradually dispersing. Eventually, the ponies all disappeared, and the train took off again, leaving her there alone. Just like she deserved.

Rainbow blinked a couple of times, then inhaled. She glanced down at her hooves, then looked back up and slowly walked towards the stairs leading off the platform. A gentle breeze rolled by, bringing with it a gentle coolness that caressed her body and mane, yet it didn't alleviate the numbness she felt inside.

She spread her wings out and flapped them once, but she didn't have the will. Instead of taking off, she just stood there, with her wings hanging limply from her back. After a few seconds, she shifted her weight, then beat her wings again, more meaningfully. She gradually ascended towards the pristine, almost cloudless blue sky, then headed for the patch of clouds that she called home.

Celestia looked up from Twilight at the sound of a soft, gentle rap on the door. She turned to look at the door, but it remained closed. After a few seconds, there was a soft knocking again. The knocks were patient and calm, not forced nor rushed. Celestia glanced back at Twilight and slid her wing across her back, stroking her and trying to provide her some form of comfort.

Celestia sighed, then folded her wing and patiently stood up from the bed and made her way out into the study. As she walked out of the door, she cast a glance back at Twilight before closing the door to her bedchambers. In just a few seconds, she calmly strode towards the source of the knocking, then opened the door to the rest of the castle. A shorter, pink alicorn stood there patiently. "Cadance..." Celestia said softly.

Cadance halfway smiled at Celestia, but mixed in with the smile was a grimace. Her lips didn't quite pull up as far as they should have, leaving her smile far less warm and comforting than it should have been. Her multicolored mane and tail were well groomed, but they somehow seemed less vibrant than normal, as if it was a direct result of stress or worry. Cadance swallowed. "How is she?" she asked reluctantly.

Celestia opened her mouth but hesitated. A few seconds passed before she closed her mouth again. Her lips pulled into a grimace. "She still isn't talking or eating," she answered.

Cadance looked down at the floor and sighed softly. "Let me see her... I'll talk to her," she said in a soft, meek voice.

Celestia nodded, then stepped aside, granting the younger alicorn entrance. Cadance slowly walked inside and made her way to the other door. Celestia watched her from where she stood. Once Cadance reached it, she paused and looked back at Celestia. "I will give you two some privacy... if you need anything, just let me know. I will be in my study."

Cadance nodded silently. A brief moment passed, and Celestia calmly walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. Cadance slowly turned back to the door she stood by, then pulled it open with her magic. Her gaze was immediately drawn to Twilight, and she could practically feel the pain and hurt radiating off of her sister-in-law.

Twilight laid there on her stomach, staring down at the bed. She almost looked peaceful, except for the fact that her expression was empty, yet filled with unbearable pain. The sparks of joy and curiosity which normally gave life to her vibrant eyes were gone, leaving them dull, lifeless, and almost glossy. Her jaw was clenched enough that her muscles were visible through her coat. Her normally tidy, well-kempt mane and tail were both disarrayed, the pink and purple highlights mixed in with the darker blue strands to the point that her highlights were barely noticeable. She was silent.

Cadance hesitantly took a step inside, then another, gradually approaching the bed. She cautiously looked back at the door, then closed it and sealed the room with her magic, giving them privacy and protection. She looked back at Twilight to find her looking back. "Twilight..." she said softly.

Twilight blinked once, then licked her lips and swallowed. "Cadance," she greeted.

Cadance shivered at the sound of Twilight's voice. It was unmistakable but so broken and weak. It took her a few seconds to recover. She gradually approached the bed, then climbed up onto it and laid down beside Twilight. Twilight stared at her the entire time. Cadance unfurled her left wing, then draped it around Twilight. Twilight's eyes slowly trailed along her wing until she couldn't continue without moving her head, then she looked back at Cadance's face. After a few seconds, Twilight reluctantly leaned against her side.

"Why... would she... do that?" Twilight asked at length.

Cadance pulled Twilight close with her wing and held her there. She gradually looked away from Twilight and stared at the wall. "Sometimes... ponies make mistakes, Twilight. Even the best of us..."

"But... why?" Twilight pleaded. "She... she..." she trailed off and grew silent once more. "Was I... am I... wrong? Was it... my fault?"

"No," Cadance replied firmly. "It's not your fault," she added.

"But... if... if... I... hadn't wanted... to wait..." Twilight trailed off and shivered. A short sob escaped her lips.

Cadance looked back at Twilight and found her eyes clenched. In the span of a few seconds, tears rolled down her cheeks despite her closed eyes, and she shuddered. Cadance leaned down and nuzzled Twilight, then embraced her even more firmly. "Twilight... it's not your fault..." she repeated.

Twilight whimpered and inhaled sharply. Her body shook violently with the breath she took. She wheezed as she inhaled, and sharp, high-pitched, desperate whimpers escaped her lips as she exhaled. "W-why... hasn't she..." she croaked out. "W-why..." she whimpered. Her lips and mouth continued to move like she was trying to speak, but nothing came out. "...s-stopped by?"

Cadance's heart throbbed in her chest, and her eyes burned. She did her best to hold herself in check for Twilight's sake, but it still hurt. "Rainbow... went back to Ponyville," she answered unsurely. Twilight shook more. More pained whimpers escaped her lips. The broken whimper was almost too much for her.

"W-why?"

"Luna says she's... scared. She's afraid that you'll hate her or... that you don't want to see her..." Cadance answered at length in a quiet voice.

Twilight shifted beneath her wing, then slowly lifted her head up. She opened her eyes and looked at Cadance desperately. Her eyes were twinkling from her tears, and her ears were pinned back. "W-why? I-I... d-don't..."

"She doesn't know that, Twilight..." Cadance trailed off.

Twilight whimpered again.

Cadance blinked away tears, then nuzzled Twilight once more. "Twilight..." she said softly. "It'll be okay... alright?" she offered.

Twilight stayed silent, but continued to shake. She slowly looked away from Cadance and stared at the bed once more.

Cadance slowly slid her wing down Twilight's back, then lifted it up and laid it around her withers. "Do you... still... love her?" she asked.

Twilight nodded hastily and clenched her eyes shut. She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I-I do," she answered. "I-I just... w-why? I-I don't... understand... sh-she..." she trailed off and whimpered. "W-we were... s-supposed t-to..." she let out a pained croak and let her head fall onto the bed.

Cadance swallowed as tears blurred her vision. She squeezed Twilight with her wing and held her close. "Do you want to talk to her?"

Twilight nodded quickly.

Cadance licked her lips and nodded slowly. "Okay... why don't you eat something, and then we can go talk to her?" she offered.

Twilight hesitated several seconds, but she eventually reluctantly nodded her head. "O-okay..." she said weakly.

"Raaaiiinnnbbbbooowww Daaassshhh!" a high pitched whine shouted out.

For just a moment, Rainbow could pretend she hadn't heard Pinkie's voice calling her name. For just a moment, she could pretend that everything was alright, that everything was okay, and that nothing had happened- it was just a lazy day, perhaps she had overslept, but there wasn't anything wrong.

For just one brief instant, she could convince herself of that, and then it all came crashing down on her. Her chest tightened and she gripped the blankets covering her body as hard as she could. She had gone right to bed as soon as she arrived at her cloudhouse. She wasn't tired, but nothing else was appealing, and doing anything except laying in bed alone felt wrong. Laying in bed alone was what she deserved for what she did, after all.

She pressed her eyes closed, then rolled over and pressed her head into the cloud pillow as hard as she could. For a few seconds, she felt almost peaceful, despite the tightness in her chest and her tense muscles. Thoughts of her friends plagued her mind, Pinkie Pie might have been the only pony outside on the ground below, but she had no way of knowing. She took a slight bit of solace in knowing that Fluttershy was the only one who could reach her, being the only other pegasus in their close group of friends, and Rarity's magic not being strong enough to get anypony else up to see her. Fluttershy would probably just shy back and leave her alone, too, if she asked.

For just a moment, she could pretend it was okay, but then she inhaled. Twilight's scent filled her nostrils, and her breath caught in her suddenly tight throat. Any other time, Twilight's scent could have lulled her to sleep, or reassured her that it would be okay, but not this time.

She whimpered softly and pushed herself away from the pillow. Her lips twitched erratically, and her vision blurred. She exhaled, then inhaled. Her body shook as she struggled to control her breathing, attempting to force herself to stay calm, but it didn't work; her body refused to obey her. She closed her eyes as the clean, non-Twilight-scented air filled her nostrils. A bead of heat rolled down both of her cheeks from her eyes, tickling her as they slowly slid down. For a moment, their warmth lingered, but it quickly dissipated, leaving cool streaks on her face.

"Raaaiiinnnbbbbooowww Daaassshhh!" Pinkie called again, reminding her that there was at least one pony who wanted to see her.

She really didn't want to see anypony else, least of all her friends. For all she knew, they had already found out what happened, maybe Celestia or Luna had sent them a letter telling them, or perhaps Pinkie knew simply because of her Pinkie Sense. Her voice didn't sound distraught; it was her normal jubilant tone, but it felt condemning to her. Even if they didn't know, they would be able to tell something was wrong, and they would ask. She couldn't lie to them, they deserved to know the truth. But how was she supposed to tell them that she had hurt Twilight so badly?

She whimpered again, wishing she could bury herself back in the bed and never have to leave that spot. She lifted a shaky forehoof, then crawled out of bed. She landed on the floor, then lifted her forehoof up, wiping her eyed with the back of her forehoof as she swallowed the tight knot in her throat.

She wobbled to the door, then shuffled her way through her home to the door. The entire time, she shook unsurely, and stared down at the floor, her mind racing as it felt like everything crashed down on her. 'They deserve to know the truth... they're... our friends...' But yet, she so badly wanted to avoid the whole situation, to just ignore it, to not face it. 'Coward...'

She came to a stop at the door, then lifted her head up. Try as she did, she couldn't force her normal brash smile. There just was nothing to back it up, it was hollow and empty, just like how she felt. A numbness, a fogginess, a feeling of emptiness. She opened her eyes and reached out for the door handle. The tight ache in her chest intensified as she reached for the handle, and by the time she took it in her hoof, she couldn't breathe; her body refused to inhale.

After several seconds, she managed to force herself to pull the door open, then she slowly stepped outside. The warm sun lit the land and warmed her back. She had half expected the sunlight to burn her and judge her, after all, she had hurt Twilight, Celestia's friend, so, so badly. And yet, the sun neither burned her, nor judged her, and perhaps that was why it felt so incredibly wrong. It tried to comfort her, ignoring her state and what she did, as if it forgave her, or perhaps worse, as if it didn't care what she had done.

She clenched her eyes shut, then slowly creeped towards the end of the cloud, wincing the whole time. She hesitantly stuck her head over the side and just barely opened her eyes. Down below, she could see each one of her friends, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and of course, Pinkie Pie.

"Hi, Rainbow!" Pinkie called, just as enthused as before.

"Rainbow, dear, are you alright? You look... well, terrible," was Rarity's comment.

Rainbow swallowed, then slowly extended her wings. "H-hey, guys..." she acknowledged. Her heart throbbed in her chest as she beat her wings, then slowly descended to the grassy field below. She landed and everypony watched her. She knew she wasn't smiling; she wasn't happy, and it showed. She was terrified, and everypony watched her. They could tell something was wrong immediately.

"Rainbow Dash?" Rarity asked, her expression straining as she looked at the distraught pegasus's features.

Rainbow visibly winced and slowly leaned left, then right. She lowered her head and turned her head to the right so that she wasn't looking at them. "I..." she started, only for her voice to completely stop, cutting right after the first syllable. Her ears pinned back and her legs all trembled, even her wings wobbled against her side. She inhaled, and her body shook. "I..." she repeated again, once more her throat seizing to stop her from saying anything else.

Fluttershy closed the distance and hugged her, nearly knocking her over, and she barely pressed against her. Fluttershy sat down and wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow's neck. "Rainbow, what's wrong?" she asked softly.

Rainbow didn't even know what was happening, her right foreleg lifted up and she wrapped it around Fluttershy's neck. Her hind legs gave out and she fell onto her haunches. She winced a bit and sniffled. It wasn't a moment later that the rest of them huddled around her, sitting down on their haunches and hugging her silently.

"Rainbow, dear, what happened? Where's Twilight?" Rarity asked.

Rainbow shuddered and quickly shook her head. "I-I c-can't..." she stuttered.

A certain heavy, oppressive atmosphere took a hold of the group. The silence that followed Rainbow's stutter seemed to weight tons and keep everypony silent. Rainbow continued to shake as they all continued to hold onto her.

"Is... Twilight okay?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow's body tensed up and her throat siezed up. She tried to speak, but instead only managed to move her mouth, lips, and tongue. Nothing more than silence and soft squeaks came out. She clenched her eyes shut. Rather than darkness, all she could see was the betrayal plastered on Twilight's face. She opened her eyes, unable to stand the image burnt into her mind.

"Rainbow, where's Twilight..?" Rarity asked cautiously.

"C-Canter..." Rainbow managed to stutter out.

"Is Twilight okay..?" Rarity asked.

Rainbow shook more and cried. She knew exactly where the conversation was going, and she panicked. Her muscles tightened up more and her body started to ache. She tried to speak, and once again a incoherent line of squeaks came out instead of words.

"Rainbow?" Applejack asked. "Is Twilight okay?" It was all Rainbow could do to shake her head.

"What happened? Is she hurt?" Rarity asked.

'Yes. I cheated on her.' The phrase shot through Rainbow's mind. The tension in her muscles released and she went limp, letting out a gargled, broken sob that caught everypony off-guard.

"Rainbow?" Applejack demanded. "Alright y'all, I think we need to get to Canterlot and-"

"N-no..." Rainbow's voice crackled.

"What? Why not? If Twilight's hurt, then we need to-"

"I... it-it's my f-fault..." slipped out of Rainbow's mouth.

"Well, I thought Twilight the emotional one," Applejack muttered. "You had me worried there, Rainbow. I thought that-"

"I cheated on her!" Rainbow shouted. Instantly, she winced and recoiled, her ears pinning back. A shocked silence permeated the group. 'I... I cheated on Twilight...' crawled through her mind. It was finally real, she had admitted it. She hurt Twilight, betrayed and broke her trust.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Rarity asked politely. "I would have sworn that-"

"I... cheated on Twilight..." Rainbow said at length, still wincing. "I... slept with another mare and... she... saw..."

Rarity withdrew from the hug, followed by Applejack, then Pinkie Pie, and then finally Fluttershy. Rainbow visibly winced and reluctantly opened her eyes. She did her best to avoid meeting any of their gazes, but she could still seem them. Rarity and Pinkie Pie were shocked, Fluttershy seemed to not know how to react, and Applejack glared at her.

"Rainbow Dash... what!?" Rarity demanded. Rainbow closed her eyes again and shrank back. "You cheated on Twilight?"

"What were you thinking girl!?" Applejack growled.

"I-I was drunk..." Rainbow tried to defend. It was a pathetic excuse, even more so to her.

"And that's your excuse?" Rarity challenged, her voice as cold as ice and as sharp as a sword, prominantly displaying her ire directed at the pegasus. "You cheated on Twilight, an alicorn princess, the mare you're engaged to, with some random mare, all because you were drunk!?" Fluttershy jerked took several steps back from Rarity and hid behind her mane. Pinkie Pie stepped back to stand beside Fluttershy.

"Rainbow Dash, of all of the stupid things you have done..." Rarity tarailed off threateningly, her harsh gaze glowering at the pegasus.

"I-I know..." Rainbow sniffled.

"Rarity..." Fluttershy spoke in a soft voice.

Rarity continued to glare at Rainbow Dash for a few seconds, then she looked at Fluttershy. Her expression calmed slightly as she looked at the innocent yellow pegasus. "Yes, Fluttershy?" she asked.

"Don't be so mean to Rainbow... please? If... you don't mind..."

"Fluttershy, Rainbow cheated on Twilight," Rarity reminded. Rainbow winced.

Fluttershy nodded timidly. "Y-yes, I know... and... that was wrong of her, but... can't you see she's hurting too? And yelling at her isn't going to help any... we should be trying to help them, not hurt them. They're our friends..."

Rarity waited for a few seconds, then took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"Fluttershy's right," Pinkie agreed solemnly. "Rainbow shouldn't have done that, but that doesn't mean we need to make her feel any worse about this... look at her! She's already upset enough as it is, and we're supposed to be her friends too! We shouldn't be making her feel worse!"

"She cheated on Twilight! How do you think that made Twilight feel?" Rarity asked. "Can you imagine what Twilight went through? Seeing Rainbow with another mare?"

"Um... no, but..." Fluttershy trailed off.

"Alright, Rarity. We get your point, but I think Fluttershy's right," Applejack stated. Rarity looked over at her, pointedly avoiding looking at Rainbow in between them. "As much as I want to yell at her for that, I think you've gone and done enough for the both of us."

"Perhaps..." Rarity relented.

"Rainbow, did you at least apologize to Twilight?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow hesitantly twitched her head around to face Rainbow, then she jerked her head left and right, shaking her head. "N-no... she... she... ran away before I could..."

Applejack scowled. "And you didn't go after her?"

Rainbow winced, then looked away from her. "I... tried, but I..." she trailed off.

Rarity glared at Rainbow, but a stern look from Applejack softened it. "Do you at least know where she is in Canterlot, then?" Applejack asked.

"I-I think she's... at the castle, with... Celestia and Luna..." Rainbow answered quietly.

"You think?" Applejack questioned.

"I-I don't know!" Rainbow retorted. "I just.... Luna and Celestia both... came to talk to me..." she whispered.

Applejack watched Rainbow for a few more seconds, then looked at Rarity. "Rarity, could you go and get Spike for us? I wanna send a letter to the princesses."

Rarity nodded silently, then turned and headed back towards Ponyville.

Author's Note

Rarity comes off as a bit... ah, what's the word? Mean is a nice way of putting it. I hope she doesn't come off too harsh, but given that we've seen the state Rainbow's in I wouldn't be surprised if she did come off as too harsh.

Alright, this is the end of what I have written. Now I need to start writing this again. So updates may slow down since I have three other stories I'm working on alongside this. I have a nasty habit of working on too much at one time and ending up not working on any of it.

I am notoriously bad at estimating how long stories of mine will be. Only recently have I had a remotely close estimate. Originally, my estimate for this story was 20k ish words long, but then I decided to alter my plans for this story a bit, so now it'll be a bit longer. 30-35k is my expectation. Quite short compared to what I'm used to...

Chapter 4
View Online

Glimpses of Regret

Chapter 4

Celestia stared at the scroll in front of her, eyes were almost glazed over, not bothering to read it, but simply thinking. Try as she did, all of her thoughts meandered back to the broken, nonresponsive state Twilight was in. While nopony besides her sister, Cadance, and herself really knew of Twilight's state, the guards and castle staff knew something was up, if only because she struggled to focus like she once did, and her smile wasn't quite as bright as normal, nor was the same mirthful twinkle in her eyes when she smiled. And so, it was with that inability to focus, her thoughts constantly drifting back to Twilight, that left her feeling tired and foggy, at least when it came to the workings of government.

Despite her best efforts to avoid worrying too much about Twilight, most of her attention focused on her. There were questions she needed answered, problems she needed to solve, and worries she needed reassured. While her best efforts to hide how she felt fell short, and her mind was weighed down by the burden of Twilight's distress, she still needed to put her best into something. She knew that as long as Twilight remained so passive and hurt, she wouldn't be able to focus like she needed to.

She shared in Twilight's pain. Maybe it wasn't the same way, and she didn't know all of the details like Twilight did, nor had she experienced what Twilight did, but that didn't matter. Twilight was hurting, and that only hurt her. Twilight had been her student, her confidant, her greatest accomplishment, even over the peace that Equestria enjoyed. Twilight was her champion, somepony she knew that could look out for Equestria, but Twilight was more than her student and champion. Twilight was her friend, and more importantly, Twilight was family.

Sure, she may not have been Twilight's mother or related to her in any way, save for both of them being alicorns, and Twilight being an alicorn through her help, but the fact remained that she could never think of Twilight as anything less than family. A smile pulled at her lips as she thought back to when Twilight had been a filly under her wing, literally, telling her all about the magic she had learned and practiced that day, or that week. The twinkle in her eye, and the excitement in her voice, it was something she'd always treasure.

But now, it was gone. And like that, her smile faded. She blinked and sighed, then slowly shook her head to break herself out of her musings on the past. Something needed to be done.

But, none of her options felt right. She would try her best to help Twilight and Rainbow, but there was no guarantee that they'd get back together, or that either of them wanted that, but she just wanted Twilight to be happy. If it wouldn't make Twilight happy, then she wouldn't try to help them get back together, but if she could help her in any way, she would try her best.

From a less altruistic standpoint, she still needed Twilight and Rainbow to be, at the very least, friends. Or, perhaps not friends, as just able to be around each other. Twilight and her friends were the protectors of Equestria, more so than even Luna and herself, after all. It could be bad, not just from the joy and happiness they would have lost, but for all of Equestria, if they didn't patch things up.

Thinking like that left her mood sour, rather than sad, and it was worse than the heaviness that weighed on her heart from their pain.

She shook the thought aside and refocused on the scroll before her. She skimmed over it, then glanced at the inkwell on her desk and levitated the long, white feather from it to sign her name on the form.

Her eyes drifted towards the stack of papers on her desk, and her lips pulled into a grimace. Any normal day, she could look at such a pile with enthusiasm, at least knowing she could take care of it, even if it would be stressful, but it wasn't a normal day. It hadn't been a normal day for a while.

At the sound of a hoof gently knocking on her door, she lifted her head up and swiveled her ears around towards the source. As with before, she could recognize it as Cadance's knock. A part of her felt fear at the sound, not knowing what news Cadance would bring, and another part of her felt a glimmer of hope.

She nibbled on her lip as she put the quill back in its inkwell. Fighting past her anxiety, she stood up from her desk and slowly walked across her study towards the door. To her surprise, the knocking came again. She didn't think she had walked that slowly, but the knock was enough proof that she was wrong.

With one last swallow and inhale, she used her magic to open the door. She mustered what smile she could as Cadance came into sight. Much to her relief, Cadance had a smile on her lips. It was weak, but it was there, and it meant that her hope wasn't futile. "Cadance," she greeted softly. "How is... Twilight?" she asked cautiously.

Cadance's smile grew a little, and she turned her head to the right. A few seconds passed in silence, leaving Celestia to ponder if perhaps Cadance's smile was forced, rather than genuine as it appeared, but then, there was a quiet hoofstep. Her heart beat faster in her chest, and the next few seconds felt like an eternity before the next step came. After that, the next few steps were quicker, but still spaced out and unsure.

Eventually, the edge of Twilight's muzzle drifted into view as she shuffled over to Cadance's side. Celestia smiled. Twilight was there, with Cadance. Twilight kept her head pointed down, and her eyes lingered on the floor. She stayed silent and stood close beside Cadance. "Twilight?"

Twilight clenched her jaw, but after a few seconds, it relaxed. She gradually lifted her head up, but her eyes lingered on the floor, then slowly traced along Celestia's legs, until stopping at her chest. She avoided eye contact and swallowed. She opened her mouth to say something, but as soon as she did so, the words escaped her grasp. Celestia could see it in her eyes, and her smile slowly faded. Seconds passed, then Twilight closed her mouth and looked back down at the floor, her eyes still haunted.

Cadance bit her lip and extended a wing out to Twilight, then laid it over her back. She looked at Twilight with a crestfallen expression, then turned back to face Celestia. "She... wants to talk to Rainbow. I told her that Rainbow went back to Ponyville-" Twilight closed her eyes, "-and told her that I'd take her back to Ponyville after she finished eating something."

Celestia relaxed at that. Even if Twilight wasn't as full of life as before, it was a step, and it was a step that lifted some of the weight from her chest. She nodded. "Has she ate yet?"

Cadance nodded. "She just finished... I figured it would be best to tell you in person," she explained.

Celestia nodded. "Yes, thank you, Cadance..." she trailed off and looked at Twilight. "Can... Twilight? Can we talk... alone?" she asked softly.

Twilight shifted her weight and looked up at her, then glanced at Cadance. Cadance met her gaze, and after a second, retracted her wing and folded it to her side.

"It won't take long," Celestia said softly.

Twilight nodded, then shuffled into the room. As if by instinct, she headed for a plush red rug near the fireplace, never once lifting her head up. Celestia swallowed and licked her lips, then looked at Cadance. Cadance grimaced and held in a sigh.

Celestia opened her mouth to speak but hesitated. Eventually, she settled on slowly pushing the door closed with her magic. For a few seconds, she lingered where she stood, then she turned and walked over to sit down beside Twilight. "Twilight? I... know this is hard for you, but... I'm here for you if you need anything," she offered.

Twilight nodded slowly, acknowledging it, but yet she looked as if it had gone in one ear and gone out through the other.

Celestia sighed, then pulled Twilight to her with a wing and hugged her. Twilight pressed herself into her hug, and eventually returned it. Celestia wrapped her wings around her and held her in silence for several seconds. Eventually, Twilight weakly pushed against her, which Celestia took as her cue to release her, which she did, but only hesitantly. When they parted, Twilight continued to avoid looking at her. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she offered.

Twilight slowly turned her head to the side. "I don't know..." she said quietly. A few seconds passed, and she reluctantly looked up at Celestia. "You... talked to her, didn't you?"

Celestia nodded.

Twilight swallowed and looked away from her again. "What... d-did she say?"

Celestia instinctually wrapped her wings around Twilight to comfort her again. Like before, Twilight pressed herself into Celestia's chest. "She... she's scared, Twilight... she knows that she messed up..." she replied. She nuzzled Twilight's mane and simply held her.

"Th-that's what C-Cadance s-said..." Twilight whimpered. She sniffled, and her body shuddered as she inhaled. She shook as she exhaled, and even with Celestia's wings embracing her, her body trembled. A soft, high-pitched whimper escaped her throat. Celestia's ears pinned back, and the sound made her own eyes burn. She pulled Twilight against her harder and put more strength into her hug.

"I-I want t-things t-to-to work o-ou-out..." Twilight stuttered between shuddering breaths, "b-but I-I don't... k-know how..."

Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself, then she lifted her head from Twilight and looked down at her. She put on a gentle smile to reassure the young alicorn, and she used a hoof to coax her head up to look at her. Twilight fought her, but in the end, relented and looked up at her. Though the tears in her eyes and wet streaks down her face made her heart ache, she kept the smile on her lips. "You're going to Ponyville to talk to her, aren't you?" she asked softly.

Twilight nodded.

"That's what you do, Twilight," she said softly. She smiled a little more. "You talk to her... it'll be hard on both of you, but... if you really want to, you can work through this and make it work... I know that she hurt you... and... it might be hard to forgive her-"

Twilight looked away from Celestia. "I-I... already d-do..." she whispered.

Celestia stayed silent for a moment, then nodded solemnly. "Then... tell her that," she offered quietly. "But... it may not be enough for her," she cautioned. "I... saw how much it hurt her, Twilight, and I know she hurt you, but... she hurt herself too. Please be careful..."

Twilight nodded timidly.

"It... will take time, and... Twilight, you're still hurting... that... won't just go away overnight, or through one conversation..." Celestia added.

"I know..." Twilight whispered.

Celestia tightened her embrace of Twilight again and held her like that for a few seconds, then she let up on her. Twilight swallowed and slowly pulled back from Celestia. "I'm sure you probably want to get to Ponyville, so... if... you don't want to talk about anything else, I won't keep you any longer... just know that if you need anything, I will help you as much as I can, Twilight. I'll go ahead and send a letter to Spike telling them that you're coming back to Ponyville with Cadance."

"Thanks..." Twilight replied. A few seconds passed before Twilight stood up, then shuffled back towards the door, barely lifting her hooves up with each step.

Celestia watched her and held in a sigh as her ears folded back again. She slowly rose to her hooves, then closed the distance to Twilight and walked beside her. She laid her wing over Twilight's back and escorted her to the door, then opened it.

When the door opened, Cadance turned to look at them. Her warm smile dimmed as she looked at Celestia's tear-stained chest and Twilight's puffy eyes. Twilight slowly left the room, pausing only briefly to look back at Celestia, before standing beside Cadance.

"Please take care of her," Celestia pleaded.

Cadance nodded, then draped her wing over Twilight. "Come on... let's head to the train station," she coaxed.

For a few seconds, Celestia stood in the doorway, watching them depart. Once they turned the corner and were out of sight, Celestia retreated into her room, closed the door, sat down, and let out a long sigh.

Princess Luna eyes wondered over the building before her. In broad daylight, the building was far less appealing and noticeable than at night, with the neon signs barely registering, yet it was still without a doubt a bar. The structure contrasted with most of Canterlot's architecture, where most of the walls were marble with small, multi-paned glass windows, instead, the bar had a large open glass window in front, filled with neon signs, although the walls were still constructed from marble. Behind the glass window were blinds that were closed, denying a view inside of the facility.

Of course, there were many bars in Canterlot, and this one was just another one of those countless bars, but it was special. It took some investigating and searching, but eventually, she had determined that this particular bar was the one that Rainbow frequented, and, she hoped, was the one she had visited that night.

She had questions that needed answers, something her sister had said was bothering her.

With that in mind, she casually opened the door with her magic and walked on inside. Looking around, the first thing she noticed was the atmosphere. Despite it being broad daylight out, the lighting inside was dim, with the light coming from dim overhead lights and coming in through the closed blinds. The floor and walls inside were wood, rather than marble, perhaps as an attempt to negate the perhaps too upper-class feeling that the city naturally gave off.

There were a dozen or so small, round tables positioned sporadically throughout the room, and most of them were unoccupied, while a few booths near the walls held the few remaining occupants of the room. Nopony seemed to particularly mind her presence as she closed the door behind her. After another cursory glance around the room, she spotted the counter and barkeep, who, unlike the patrons, seemed surprised to see her here.

She casually strolled over to the counter. As she neared, she gave a quick glance over the stools set up for ponies to sit on, which were all a bit small for her, so when she reached the counter, she stood rather than taking a seat.

The bartender hesitantly set down the glass he was wiping clean, then approached her. His coat was a dusty, tannish brown, but clean, and his mane, a darker shade of brown, hung casually from his head. "Uh... Princess Luna?"

Luna nodded in acknowledgment. "I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me," she replied, her voice taking on a formal tone.

For several seconds, the stallion's muzzle scrunched up in confusion, but nonetheless, he nodded. "Uh, right. Sorry, where are my manners... I'm Apricot. You uh... wanted to ask me some questions?"

Luna nodded and offered him a smile to try to put him at ease. "Yes. It has come to my attention that Rainbow Dash frequents this establishment," she said.

The stallion nodded slowly. "Uh, yeah, she does..." he trailed off unsurely. "What's this about anyway? I mean I know she's engaged to Princess Twilight Sparkle, but uh... why exactly are you here?"

"I wish to inquire about what happened the last time she was here," she stated simply. "Specifically, did she meet somepony here?"

The bartender grimaced. "Uh, yeah. Some mare. I've never seen her here before, but she acted like she knew Rainbow Dash, although Rainbow didn't seem to know her... but I guess that's not surprising? I mean, everypony knows about all of them."

Luna studied the stallion's expression and posture, which brought a frown to her lips. "Do you remember what she looked like?"

The stallion instantly winced. "Sorry... no. That night's kind of one big blur for me... I'm surprised I can remember the mare at all," he lamented. He looked down at the counter and slowly shook his head. "I didn't even have that much to drink, either..." he muttered.

"You don't remember the night clearly?" Luna asked. He nodded and offered an apologetic smile. "Did anything out of the ordinary happen?"

"Uh... I don't really remember," he answered. He frowned and looked aside. "It seems like somepony bought me a drink, though. It tasted a bit off, now that I think about it..." he trailed off. "But other than that, I can't recall anything out of the ordinary..."

"What do you mean? The drink did not taste right?" Luna asked.

"Well, I mean, I know what everything tastes like here. I don't remember what it was, but I know that it didn't quite taste right like it was supposed to. Probably had another drink mixed into it, but it seemed unfamiliar," he explained. "I'm probably just remembering wrong," he sighed.

Luna mulled it over and nodded cautiously. "And what of the mare and Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh, sorry," he apologized. "Right, uh... I'm pretty sure she bought drinks for Rainbow and herself, and they talked for a bit." He paused. "Normally Rainbow doesn't socialize with ponies here..." he mused. He inhaled and shook his head.

"Do you remember anything else? About their interactions or anything?"

"Ah, no... Sorry, Princess," he answered. "Well, it's probably not important, but I did wake up feeling like crap the next morning. A massive headache, felt like the whole planet was spinning..." he muttered.

Luna's brow creased. "Can you elaborate further?"

The stallion bobbed his head. "It... well, it was like a hangover, but I haven't had a hangover that bad in years. I know my limits, and I avoid them, so I have no idea how that happened..." he said.

"Did Rainbow perhaps leave her table sometime during the evening while the other mare was still there?" Luna queried.

The stallion was silent for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah... I think so?" he asked. "It seems like she went to the restroom, but I don't remember... she normally does use the restroom sometime during her stay."

Luna nodded and licked her lips. "And did she seem... normal after she came back?"

The bartender nodded. "I think so? She didn't act off or anything... Although she did act kinda odd later after she had a couple of drinks with that mare. The two of them left together, I think?"

Luna nodded slowly. "Off how?"

The stallion winced. "Just... loopy? Sort of like she was drunk, but I don't think she drank that much... and it wasn't how she normally acts when she was drunk... Sorry, I'm not good at this sort of thing, and I can't remember that much..."

Luna shook her head. "That is alright. I don't suppose there is anything else you could tell me?" she asked. "I already have an idea, but... I do not like it," she grumbled.

"Sorry... but that night really is just... I can't remember it very well. It's all foggy and hazy and... all that." He frowned. "Something... uh, wrong?"

Luna nodded. "Yes," she answered. "But thank you for your time," she said. With that, she teleported a couple of bits to her and set them on the counter. The barkeep smiled his thanks as she turned and headed towards the door. As soon as she stepped out into the sunlight, she scowled, lit her horn, and teleported away.

With a sharp crack and a flash of dark blue light, she appeared in Celestia's study. "Sister?" she called without pausing.

Celestia looked up from her desk and stood up. She smiled at Luna and turned to face her. "Luna? What brings you here today?"

Luna bobbed her head and took a few steps towards her sister. "How is Twilight doing?"

Celestia's smile faded, then after a second, returned. "She's..." she trailed off and pursed her lips. "Cadance got through to her," she stated. "She managed to get her to react, and she actually ate something according to Cadance."

"That is good news," Luna acknowledged. "Are they still-"

"Twilight wanted to go to Ponyville to talk to Rainbow," Celestia replied. She studied Luna's gaze, and Luna nodded solemnly. Unlike before, she could just barely find any hints of anger or disapproval. "So Cadance is escorting her back to Ponyville. I already sent them a letter telling them about that, and a few minutes later I received a response saying that they've already talked to Rainbow and know about... that..." she trailed off as her smile faded to nothing more than a memory.

Luna grimaced. "Ah, yes... on that subject..." she trailed off. "I... believe we may have a problem," she stared. She pursed her lips and slowly walked over to the balcony. Celestia's head turned to follow her as she walked past, then opened the door. As Luna walked out onto the balcony, Celestia followed behind her. "Something you had said was bothering me," she stated. Celestia came to a stop beside her, so she turned to look up at her. "About not liking this because of everypony knowing about them," she specified.

Celestia inclined her head and watched her curiously. "Yes. I thought it was strange that anypony would... do that, considering that they're engaged," she acknowledged.

Luna inclined her head and grimaced. "I... did some investigating. It wasn't truly that difficult to track down the bar that Rainbow had visited, but I am... concerned," she stated. She turned her head and looked out over Canterlot. The city stood proudly atop the mountain, like a jewel adorning a crown. "I spoke with the barkeep, who informed me that Rainbow did meet a mare there, but... his account has made me suspect something more. For one, he does not recall that night very well, and he said as much to me. He also said that he did not intoxicate himself to the level required for the hangover that he had the next morning, in addition to Rainbow acting off compared to how she normally acts," she stated.

Celestia frowned. "What are you saying..?" she asked quietly.

Luna grimaced. "I may be jumping to conclusions, and I don't have much to back it up, but upon reflection, I agree that this entire ordeal seems suspect. Unless both Rainbow and that mare were drunk, it seems unlikely that they would have slept together, and even then... it seems suspect. I... am concerned that there is something else at play." She shook her head. "Were it not for the bartender saying that somepony gave him a drink which tasted off, and the entire night was difficult for him to remember, I may not be so suspicious."

"You think they were drugged?" Celestia asked.

Luna was silent for a moment. "It may be a possibility," she stated. "I do not know of Rainbow's tolerance for alcohol, and while she was clearly suffering from the aftereffects of intoxication when I arrived, it would be wise to at least consider this possibility..." she said at length.

Celestia winced. "I... would prefer that Rainbow had been drugged to make her more susceptible over simply being intoxicated to the point that she cheated on Twilight," she admitted, "but that is also worrisome. If somepony drugged Rainbow, and perhaps the bartender to cover her tracks, what does that mean? I can think of several reasons, and I don't like any of them..."

Luna nodded in agreement. "It is concerning... perhaps it would be wise for me to investigate this matter further."

Celestia nodded. "Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I think I will pay the Tree of Harmony a visit..."

Luna turned to look at Celestia. "You... believe that this was an attempt to break the bonds they share to prevent them from using the Elements of Harmony?"

"I don't know," Celestia replied. "I don't like this, and with what you've told me, I feel... worried." She smiled and shook her head. She looked down at the floor. "I'm probably just being silly, aren't I? Latching on to whatever I can just so I don't have to face the possibility that Rainbow willingly cheated on Twilight..."

Chapter 5
View Online

Glimpses of Regret

Chapter 5

Rainbow couldn't help but wilt back as Applejack finished reading Princess Celestia's letter and looked at her. Sure, her scowl was gone, but in its place lingered a stern gaze that told her 'Ya better not mess this one up, Rainbow Dash.' She fidgeted her weight and tried to press herself back into the couch, hoping beyond all reason that the couch could envelop her and hide her entire body from sight. But despite her hopes, reason prevailed, and while she did sink into the couch, it did nothing more than make it harder for her to move, preventing her from evading them any further.

Jumping to her hooves without spilling her tea, Rarity cried out, "This is wonderful news!" As all eyes fell on her, a soft blush covered her muzzle. She covered her mouth and coughed once in embarrassment. "What? I'm just saying that this is good! Twilight and Cadance will be here-" her eyes fell on Rainbow, and her expression cooled a few degrees "- so you can fix this."

Applejack gave the unicorn a sideways look. "Rarity..." she warned.

Rarity slumped down and sighed. "Yes, yes, I know darling..." She gave Applejack a weak smile, then looked at Rainbow. Her smile wavered as the pegasus's body shook in fear. "Rainbow, dear-" she slowly walked over to the couch, forcing a weak smile, "-I'm sorry. Can you... forgive me for my... erm-" she covered her mouth with her hoof again and forced an embarrassed cough, "-rather... uncivilized reaction?" she asked sweetly.

Rainbow looked to the right and down at the couch, avoiding Rarity's gaze. "Yeah, it's fine..." she said quietly. "I did... screw this up..."

Applejack and Rarity shared a worried look, then Rarity nibbled on her lip before sitting down to the left of Rainbow. "Rainbow, I truly am sorry for how I acted. I did... overreact-"

Rainbow shook her head vigorously. "N-no, y-you didn't," she retorted. "I-"

"Rainbow," Applejack said flatly. Rainbow slowly picked her head up to look over at her. "Yeah, you messed this up. I know you didn't mean to, but you did. We all know you didn't mean to. You should have gone and talked to Twilight instead of coming back to Ponyville. But you're not gonna skip out on talking to Twilight this time, you hear? You're going to go meet Twilight and Cadance when they get here, and then you're going to apologize to Twilight for-"

Rainbow's eyes immediately fell to the floor in shame, and her ears folded back. "Cheating on her?"

A moment passed in silence. "-hurting her," Applejack finished. "Look, I can tell this is eating you up, Rainbow. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be all over you like Rarity was... As it is, I'm aggravated that you did this. But you really need to get a hold of yourself."

Rarity lifted a forehoof and gently touched it to Rainbow's shoulder, drawing an immediate squeak from the pegasus, who then shied away from her hoof in an action more akin to how Fluttershy would react. For a few seconds, Rarity watched the trembling pegasus, then she lowered her hoof back to the couch. "Rainbow, you still love Twilight," she stated.

For a few seconds, there was no reaction from Rainbow, but then she sniffled. Her head jerked slightly, and she weakly turned her muzzle just enough that she could look at Rarity. And despite her best efforts to hide them, Rarity could see her tears. "Y-yes," she whimpered. "B-but I-I cheated on her!"

"Oh... Rainbow, dear..." Rarity cooed. She turned her body slightly, then wrapped her forelegs around the pegasus' body, pulling her into a hug.

Rainbow didn't fight back as Rarity hugged her, but her ears stayed folded back in shame. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve her friends' forgiveness, let alone Twilight's forgiveness. Yet while the girls were still upset, they were trying to not make things any worse. They seemed to think she was being hard enough on herself as it was. 'How can you...' she wondered. The thought left her feeling destitute- Rarity had been angry at her not even three hours ago, and already she was hugging her again, and yet she couldn't bring herself to try to see Twilight in the days that she had spent in Canterlot before returning to Ponyville.

Slowly, Applejack rose from her chair, then approached Rainbow and Rarity. Rainbow shivered as she looked up and watched Applejack approach. Applejack had a solemn expression, sharing in Rainbow's grief, but it didn't stop her from joining the hug.

Their shared hug lasted for minutes as Rainbow cried and shook in their embrace, but eventually, her shuddering calmed to sniffles when she inhaled. After what felt like an eternity, Rainbow pulled away from them. For several more seconds, Applejack and Rarity lingered in the hug, refusing to let Rainbow go, before finally releasing her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the hug helped her feel a little better, even though she didn't deserve it, but she still couldn't look them in the eyes. "I-I'm sorry g-guys..."

"Rainbow?" Applejack drawled.

For several seconds, Rainbow refused to look up at her, but when it became obvious that Applejack wasn't going to continue until she looked up at her, she reluctantly gave in and lifted her muzzle up. "Y-yeah?" she stuttered.

"Just promise me that you'll try to make this right, alright?" Applejack asked. She gave Rainbow a small smile, but it wasn't quite as happy as it should have been. Rainbow averted her gaze from her and stared down at the floor. "We already promised we'd try to help you and Twilight through this... uh, assuming that Twilight actually wants to get back together with you after all this."

Rainbow's whole body tensed up and she screwed her eyes shut as Applejack brought her worst fears to the forefront of her mind. "W-what if sh-she doesn't?" she squeaked. Her whole body trembled, and several teardrops fell out of her eyes onto the couch. She shied back even further, expecting both of her friends to chastise her. To her surprise, Rarity didn't say anything about it.

"Rainbow," Rarity sighed warily, "as much as I hate to admit it, that's entirely up to Twilight. You did cheat on her, and according to you, she was there and saw you. And you were drunk. Twilight has every right to be angry at you and want nothing to do with you," she said pointedly.

More tears fell from Rainbow's eyes. She whimpered in pain. "I-I know..." she sobbed weakly.

For a few seconds, only the sounds of Rainbow's cries filled the air of Rarity's boutique. "I-I don't... ant... light... hate me..." Rainbow croaked out. "I'm s-sorry! I... I w-was st-stu-stupid..."

"Rainbow, we'll do our best to help you. We promised that. There's no guarantee it'll work, but you have to get a hold of yourself. Don't chicken out. You need to apologize to Twilight," Applejack said.

Eventually, Rainbow nodded her head hastily. "O-okay..." she stuttered.

"I don't want our group of friends to be torn apart by this," Rarity sighed.

Applejack grimaced and looked at Rarity. "I don't rightly think it'd be torn apart by this. Sure, Twilight might be angry at Rainbow, and... uh, maybe we wouldn't be able to fix it... but, I think she'd still be willing to be friends with Rainbow..."

Rainbow let out a high-pitched whimper and sank further into the couch. Both Rarity and Applejack looked at Rainbow, and like her, their ears folded back. Rarity nibbled on her lip. She kept trying to say something to comfort her, but every time she opened her mouth, nothing came out.

"Hey, Rarity? Maybe you should go and get Fluttershy and Pinkie," Applejack suggested.

Rarity nodded slowly in agreement. "Perhaps," she admitted. "At the very least we need to tell them, and Spike, that Twilight and Cadance are coming." After a second, she nodded to herself. "I shouldn't be too long." She hopped off the couch and turned to leave, but hesitated a moment as Rainbow whimpered again. Her ears pinned back and she let out a soft sigh as she turned back around to face the pegasus. She wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow's back and gave her a squeeze. "Rainbow Dash, I'm sure it will be okay... if Twilight didn't want to talk to you I'm sure that she'd just stay in Canterlot..." she offered hopefully.

Rainbow just shook her head and squirmed in an attempt to escape the hug. "W-what if s-she just wants to... t-tell me that it-it-it's o... over..." she whispered. "Th-th-that w-we're... th-through..." Punctuating the last word was a sharp whimper and a pained, choking sob.

Rarity squeezed her tighter, and once again, Applejack joined in. "That is a distinct possibility, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said in a low, cautious tone, "but if that is the case, then... if you love her, you need to respect her decision." To Rainbow, something about the way Rarity said it spoke of finality, and despite herself, she gripped Rarity with her forelegs and squeezed her desperately as she whimpered again. "Maybe just give her time," she offered, "Twilight's... not really a pony to hold grudges," she said delicately.

Rainbow sniffled. "I-I hope you're r-right... T-Twi's... s-she's... it-it's Twilight... sh-she's worth more th-than anything t-to me..." she weakly whispered.

Cadance nibbled on her lip. When she had suggested going to Ponyville so that Twilight could talk to Rainbow, she wasn't sure what she had expected the trip to be like, but she certainly hadn't expected Twilight to stare out of the window the entire time, nor had she expected it to be so quiet, excluding the click-clack of the train's wheels on the tracks. They hadn't even been halfway there when she had started questioning her decision to keep one of the train cars to themselves. Other ponies probably wouldn't have paid them much attention, and if they did, they probably wouldn't even be able to tell anything was wrong.

At the very least, it wouldn't have been so quiet, and she would have felt better. But then again, the privacy was probably for the best. She knew Twilight wouldn't have been happy if there were other ponies around; it would've made things harder on her, she wouldn't have been able to cry in peace if she wanted to.

Cadance sighed and lowered her head. Even with her sitting at Twilight's immediate left, she avoided her and continued to stare out of the window passively. The only sign that she had improved over how she had been was that in the window's reflection, Cadance could see Twilight's eyes which proved that they weren't glossed over. Occasionally, her eyes even jumped around to take in the scenery. But, nonetheless, her ears were folded back halfway, and she stayed silent.

Cadance slowly lifted her head back up and turned to face Twilight for what must have been the hundredth time. She opened her mouth, but stopped when she realized she didn't know what to say. For a few seconds, her mouth lingered open, then she closed it. She sighed silently on the inside. Under normal circumstances, she could brighten almost any atmosphere and cheer ponies up. After all, she was the Princess of Love. But this? The pain Twilight experienced was infectious, and so unlike normal, she couldn't project her usual optimistic happiness.

It didn't help that her mind kept wandering back to the thought of 'What if Shining did something like that?' The thought was distracting, and while she knew he wouldn't, it still ate at her mind like a disease, worrying her. After all, there was no way Rainbow would have cheated on Twilight, and yet she did.

She closed her eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. For several seconds, she held the breath in and listened to the rhythmic clacking of the train's wheels. Eventually, she let out the breath, opened her eyes, and lifted her head back up, letting her worries go. But, unlike her, Twilight continued to stare out of the window, mind going over her worries again and again.

She could tell what Twilight was thinking about. She couldn't imagine what it had been like, but she was certain that what she saw was still playing through her mind. She bit her lip and looked over Twilight's back, then extended her wing. She reached her wing behind Twilight's back to hug her. As her feathers brushed against her coat, Twilight's muzzle fell a few inches as she tilted her head down, and she glanced back at her.

Twilight regarded Cadance unsurely. The look in her eyes spoke of a battle raging in her mind, but eventually, she turned her head away from the window her as Cadance pulled her close. She looked at the seat across from them, and her jaw clenched and relaxed repeatedly as if a question was eating at her mind.

Cadance slowly brushed her wing down Twilight's back, attempting to comfort the distraught alicorn. Eventually, Twilight took a deep breath. "What if she doesn't... want to be with me now?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Cadance's wing paused mid-stroke, the question not being one she expected from her. Cadance's first thought was to immediately retort her since she was absolutely certain that wasn't the case. But rather than blurt it out, she took a moment to compose herself. "Twilight, I'm sure that she still wants to be with you. If what Celestia and Luna said is true, then the reason she didn't visit you was that she loves you so much she can't bear to see you hurting because of what she did," she said gently. She resumed brushing her wing down Twilight's back, then lifted it up to her withers and hugged her close. Twilight didn't resist her hug, but she wasn't comforted by it either.

"Should I have sex with her?" Twilight asked quietly. She turned to face Cadance and looked up at her. "Would that... make her feel... better?"

Cadance was silent. Any other time, Twilight wouldn't have asked that question. She would have acted like a little filly, blushing and too embarrassed to speak about such a thing. It was a topic that embarrassed her so much, yet she asked it so casually, so genuinely, that Cadance was taken aback by it. There was no hesitation in her question, and the way she looked, it was like she didn't even know she had asked it, or she didn't realize it, because her mind was otherwise occupied. Cadance sighed softly, then shook her head. "I don't think that would help any, Twilight... I think it would be the wrong thing to do, especially right now. Besides, you wanted to wait until-"

Twilight's eyes darted down to Cadance's shoulder. "But if I hadn't-"

"Twilight," Cadance said softly. "It's not your fault," she stated. "Don't blame yourself. Stop blaming yourself."

Twilight slowly nodded and turned away from her. Her muzzle lowered and her gaze dropped to the floor.

Even the clicking of the train's wheels didn't alleviate the heavy silence filling the car.

Cadance studied Twilight's crestfallen appearance as she debated what to say next. "Have you... thought about what you're going to say to her?"

"If... she really is scared that I'm... angry at her, then... I'll tell her that I'm not," Twilight answered quietly. "And... I want to ask her why she-"

"I don't think asking that would be wise, Twilight..." Cadance said hesitantly. "It... it's something that you need to talk about, and you should, but... maybe... give her, and yourself, some more time so that it's not so... recent. I'm sorry that I'm not very helpful, but I don't really have experience with this, which... maybe that's ironic, but..." she trailed off, smiling weakly.

Twilight smiled a little, but then it faded. "I... should ask her if she still wants to get married... but I think we should... put it off for a while..." she whispered. Cadance nodded calmly, though the idea weighed heavily on her. Twilight hesitantly looked at Cadance. "Do you know... how much longer until we get there?"

"It will be a few hours... We should arrive this evening," Cadance answered.

Twilight nodded slowly and turned back away from her. "Is... is Rainbow going to be there?"

"I don't know... I think she would want to be there when we get there, but... she might be scared."

Twilight's ears pinned back. "I... I-I hope she's there..."

By the time the train came to a stop, the sun was low in the sky, painting the sky golden with its rays. There were but a few hours of daylight remaining, but fortunately, Twilight had someplace to stay, and Cadance would stay with her. Not just because it was convenient, either. She could keep an eye on Twilight this way, and help her if it proved necessary.

Cadance took a deep breath, then stood from her seat and stepped out into the aisle. She turned back around expecting to see Twilight standing right beside her, but instead, she was still sitting in the same spot as before, eye glazed over as she stared out the window. From where she looked out, she couldn't see the platform, but that didn't stop her from looking paralyzed by fear.

For a few seconds, Cadance waited patiently, but it was as if Twilight were a statue. Her body barely moved as she breathed as if she was afraid that her breathing would cause disaster. Cadance let out a quiet sigh, and her wings fell a few inches before she caught them. She turned to face Twilight and glanced out the window opposite them to survey the platform. For the most part, it was deserted, but she could make out the forms of Twilight's friends. Rainbow's mane stuck out from the rest of them, and she felt a sense of relief at that. But even while she was still in the train car, in that brief glance, she could see the anxiety and fear written across her features, almost projected out for the whole world to see.

It wouldn't have surprised her if she bolted at the first sight of either one of them. It also wouldn't have surprised her if Applejack literally had her on a leash, or at least had a lasso on hoof, just in case that happened.

She looked back at her sister-in-law. "Twilight," she called softly. From the reflection in the window, she could see her blink. Another second passed and Twilight's chest finally inflated. Her head slowly, almost mechanically, turned to face her. She looked like she'd rather stay put. "Rainbow's waiting for you," she offered softly.

The corner's of Twilight's mouth twitched up at that, and a little energy flowed into her expression, making her back perk up from slouching. Her ears twitched and relaxed, slowly lifting back up until they were normal. She could practically hear Twilight's heart beating harder, and she could see the quickening of her pulse in her neck.

Twilight licked her lips and blinked a few times. Sparing a passing glance at the floor, she leaned forward, then stood up from her seat. She made her way out beside Cadance, then stopped as she looked out the window and saw that familiar rainbow mane.

For far longer than Cadance liked, Twilight stared out the window at Rainbow, a mixture of joy, eagerness, fear, and an uncertain, emotionless passivity all coming together as she watched on.

Cadance extended her wing and brushed it over Twilight's back, breaking her trance. Twilight looked up at her, then stepped forward, taking the lead. She walked with a purposeful stride towards the exit, leaving Cadance behind her to follow, never once giving her the chance to catch up nor take the lead.

She wasn't sure what to think of it but thought it was better than her simply staring out the window, pinning for her mate.

Almost in a rush, Twilight stepped out of the doors and hopped onto the platform. Her hooves clicked one at a time in rapid succession as she landed and stopped. By the time Cadance could see the scene transpiring, Twilight was looking in Rainbow's direction, and Rainbow was looking back, on the verge of a panic attack, perhaps on the verge of breaking down or bolting. The rest of her friends stood there, unsure of what to do or say. The entire event left them without a clue as to the best way to proceed. They simply weren't prepared for it. But then, what could really prepare somepony for this?

The pegasus started to tremble. Twilight took a breath and went to say something, but nothing came out. After several seconds, she stopped her attempts to speak.

Cadance disembarked and stood beside her. Twilight glanced over at her, then her gaze settled back on Rainbow.

"Well, I uh... I guess you two probably want some uh... privacy?" Applejack finally asked, breaking the silence that had descended.

Cadance nodded and opened her mouth to respond, but Twilight preempted her- "Library."

It was enough to make Rainbow wince and close her eyes, and Twilight's reaction was immediate- her ears folded back, and her legs trembled, nearly as much as Rainbow's legs.

"Is... there anything we can get you? Or... anything we can do?" Rarity offered, glancing between Rainbow, Twilight, and Cadance. Rainbow hastily shook her head, while Twilight slowly shook hers.

Cadance grimaced as the seconds wore on. If her magic was better, she would have simply teleported their group to the library, but sadly, she didn't have that capability, which left the worst possible choice: walking back to the library. And oh, how horrible that walk would be for everypony involved. "I would teleport us there, but I don't have Twilight's magic," she related regretfully.

"Right... we... we should... go," Twilight eventually drawled. Despite saying so, she made no effort to move.

"Do... you want us to come with you?" Fluttershy offered.

Twilight shook her head slowly, uncertainly. "No... I just..." she trailed off, her eyes darting back and forth as a war raged inside her mind over the question. Eventually, she sighed softly. "I'm sorry... no," she said.

Fluttershy nodded in understanding, although she bit her lip and watched Rainbow.

"What about me?" Spike asked quietly.

Twilight's lips pulled up into a brief, warm smile. "O-of course you're coming, Spike," she said. "Y-you live with... u... us..." The smile, along with her whole expression, seemed to crack. Rainbow seemed to crack too, immediately looking at the only unoccupied spot she could see: the floor right in front of her hooves. And even that wasn't enough for her: she clenched her eyes shut and pinned her ears back against her head. She stayed silent, but tears still came. "A-after all..." Twilight finished.

Spike nodded silently, then glanced at the rest of the girls and slowly stepped away from them, then scurried over beside Twilight. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but Twilight only looked down at her hooves.

Seeing Twilight and Rainbow's broken state, Cadance knew that she had to take charge. Neither of them were in any condition to make the first move, which put the entire burden on her. But still, it was a burden she would bear for them. She took a deep breath and did her absolute best to mimic Celestia's kind, warm smile. It wasn't quite the same, but she felt it was close enough. "Twilight? Rainbow... why don't we go ahead and head to the Library?" she suggested.

Twilight nodded emotionlessly and turned to make the long walk to her home. Cadance let Twilight walk in front of her, then she stepped forward and approached Rainbow. The mare continued to face the ground with her eyes clenched. Cadance extended a wing and gently brushed a feather against her shoulder, which drew an immediate, fearful squeak from the pegasus, causing her to crouch back as if struck.

Twilight stopped at the sound and looked back at her. For a brief moment, they watched each other. Twilight turned back to face her; Rainbow turned away in shame. Regaining some semblance of courage, Rainbow stood back up, then lifted a forehoof and took a shaky step forward. It took an almost insurmountable effort, but finally, she forced herself forward. Cadance stood beside her and laid a wing over her back.

The wing comforted her, but at the same time, it hurt of so much. Alicorn wings were so distinctly different from pegasus wings, and even if Cadance was larger than Twilight, her wing felt just like her's, only larger. She cried more and hid her face from Twilight as best she could.

Twilight had to look away. Rainbow's pain was simply too infectious. In the end, to comfort Twilight and coax her to continue, Cadance laid her left wing over Twilight. She walked between the two of them with her wings sheltering both of them and keeping them close, offering them what comfort and support she could as she chaperoned them back to the library.

The walk back to the library took longer than Cadance wanted, and with it still being early in the evening, they weren't alone on the streets. Whenever the walked by and ponies noticed, they slowed down and watched on with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Even as they passed, the ponies' heads and gazes lingered for several seconds before they returned to their tasks.

Cadance could read emotions well, but she couldn't read minds. She had no idea what the ponies were thinking. They were concerned about seeing the three of them in such a state, but she could only guess what ran through their minds. Perhaps they thought that they had just had a bad trip to Canterlot, but most assuredly, their thoughts were far from the truth. She saw no hints of anger or betrayal directed at the pegasus she sheltered under her wing, and she knew that Celestia and Luna were keeping silent on the matter.

As far as Equestria knew, nothing was wrong between them. Everything was okay, and the wedding would still happen in just a few short weeks. Perhaps they even thought that maybe Twilight and Rainbow looked the way they did because of stress from planning such an event.

Not soon enough by a long shot, they reached the library. Cadance opened the door, and Spike waltzed on inside. The room was dimmed, lit only by the evening sun streaming in through the windows and the doorway. One by one, Twilight, Cadance, and then finally Rainbow walked inside, with Cadance using her magic to close the door, then lock it behind Rainbow, who visibly winced.

Doing their best to ignore her reaction, Cadance and Spike set about bringing out candles and lighting them while Rainbow just stood there unsurely. Twilight walked over and then sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace.

"Spike? Why don't you... fix some tea," Cadance suggested.

"O-oh, um... yeah! Right... I'll uh... go do that," Spike answered. In just a few seconds, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Cadance took a deep breath. "Rainbow? Why don't you have a seat across from Twilight and... we'll... talk."

For several seconds, Rainbow stood there rigidly, staring back at her. Eventually, she lifted a forehoof, which shook as she held it in the air. Ever so slowly, she crept over, then sat down just out of reach from Twilight. The whole time, she avoided looking at her, or even glancing in her direction, unwilling to risk meeting her gaze or seeing the hurt that she had caused.

Cadance sat down off to the side so that she could look at them both without turning her head too much. She wasn't sure how to start. She wasn't sure if either of them would start if she didn't. Minutes drew on in silence. Twilight stared at her forehooves, occasionally glancing up at Rainbow with a hopeful expression, only to turn sullen again as Rainbow kept her head turned towards the door, her fur wet from tears.

But it seemed the painful silence wasn't to last, "T-Twi, I-I... I-I'm s-so... s-sorry..." Rainbow stuttered.

Cadance's ears folded back, unable to take it. Both of them were hurting so much. They had been so happy together, and she had loved being around the two of them, and now it just hurt.

Rainbow cried. Her apology? An admission of guilt. Nothing could change that. Even if telling her friends had made it real, that paled in comparison to this. Her crying was silent, at least for the moment. She wasn't sure how long that would last.

"It's... fine..." was Twilight's solemn, empty reply. It sounded anything but fine, her voice was more like somepony who had simply given up.

It stabbed Rainbow right in her heart. A high-pitched, pained cry broke out of her mouth. She bit down on her lip, but it barely registered. She trembled and sobbed.

"I..." Twilight trailed off. A soft, weak sigh escaped her lips. "Forgive you..." she whispered.

Rainbow barely heard it, but rather than help, it only stung more. 'I-I cheated on you! H-how can you f-forgive me?' her mind demanded. Her betrayal seemed all the greater for Twilight's spoken forgiveness. She turned away from Twilight in shame.

Yet, it seemed that Twilight still loved her and forgave her, and Rainbow simply couldn't accept that. As if to prove that point, Twilight slowly stood up, then shuffled across the distance between them, then stood in front of Rainbow. Slowly, she wrapped her forelegs around her, then sat down on her haunches and hugged her. Rainbow wilted, but Twilight only hugged her tighter, even as her tears descended onto Rainbow's shoulder.

Author's Note

I am surprised by how hard I found it to write the first scene in this chapter... I wanted to have Rarity a bit more aggressive but it felt wrong.

This took longer than expected to write and felt more forced than I anticipated to write... But maybe it's okay.

And no, this story isn't finished yet.