These things are important to ponder.
Sunset Shimmer cupped her hands over her mouth, exhaled deeply, then glared at Starlight Glimmer who was currently looking at Sunset with honest confusion while eating a muffin they purchased at the mall they were currently frequenting.
“Starlight, you can’t just kill people.”
Starlight took a delicate bite of her muffin, her body adjusting to the metal seating arrangements in the food court. “Why not?” she asked as she looked around. “And it’s not like I haven’t done it yet. I was just asking.”
“I’m just―” Sunset clenched her jaw and her fists simultaneously “―why would you even ask that?” She gnarred. “Why is that a logical question to ask for you?”
Starlight looked up. “Now you’re making the question complicated.” She presented her palm while taking another bite of the muffin. “You’re assigning logic to what could be argued to be inherently irrational neuronal firings that are justified ad-hoc in a futile attempt to bring meaning in a fundamentally animalistic and meaningless―”
“Starlight Glimmer I will slap you in the mouth,” Sunset said through clenched teeth as she pointed an accusing finger at Starlight, who slightly recoiled at the viciously vigorous finger-pointing.
“Hey now,” Starlight said before a nervous chuckle, “I wasn’t the one who brought logic into this.” Her gaze danced between the muffin and Sunset’s very angry face. “If you want to ask why I queried about whether or not killing is permitted here, that’s fine. However,” she continued as she took another bite of her muffin, “if you want to travel down that philosophical portal, that’ll―”
Sunset slammed the table with an open palm which jolted Starlight’s attention and caused her to gulp her muffin bite. “Focus!” She then leaned back into her own chair, put a fist to the bridge of her nose, then took a deep breath. “I just want to know what led to you asking if murder is permitted here.”
“Oh, no,” Starlight said as she wagged her finger, “I’m not falling into that trap again.”
“What trap?” Sunset growled.
“Murder is a legal definition assigned by court of law.” Starlight rubbed her forehead. “Killing is something completely different.” She set her muffin down and stared dead-on at Sunset. “Whether or not killing is considered murder involves a healthy litigation process and a jury of my peers.” Starlight then smirked. “I’m perfectly aware murder is not permitted, which is why I asked about killing.”
Sunset looked up at Starlight, her chest expanding and contracting as she licked her teeth. Starlight had a look on her face that suggested that she won. What she won was up for debate.
“Are you messing with me?” Sunset asked.
Starlight pursed her lips and grabbed her muffin. “What do you mean?”
Sunset rubbed her hands together. “Are you seriously suggesting that there’s a legitimate difference between killing people out of pure whimsy and murder?”
“Legally there is.”
“Sweet Celestia, I’m going to kill you,” Sunset said as she looked away and cradled her chin. Starlight raised an eyebrow as she took another bite.
“So, um,” Starlight asked, her mouth full. “Does that mean it’s okay, or…”
Sunset activated her amulet. “I need to check something.”
“By all means.” Starlight swallowed the masticated muffin bite as Sunset touched her skin, the latter’s eyes going white for a second.
After a moment, Sunset’s eyes regained their color. She paused for a moment, then eased back into her seat, her breathing now even. She rubbed her forehead as Starlight took another bite of her muffin.
Starlight bit her lip. “So how was that deep dive you did there?”
“Well, um,” Sunset said.
“Well, um?”
“Um.” Sunset rubbed her face. “The people on this side of the portal are real and aren’t constructs of your mind.”
Starlight’s eyes popped open as she swiveled her head around. “W-what?”
“Yeah.” Sunset waved her hands around. “This is all as real as Equestria.”
“How is that possible?” Starlight fired off as she put her muffin down, her face creasing. “I mean―I never…” she trailed off before locking eyes with Sunset. “I faced down a ten foot monster without magic and it was real!” She scratched her head under her beanie. “I just felt so disconnected, and clothes popped on, and I got to be the hero and…”
“And what?” Sunset asked calmly.
Starlight started shaking. “I thought this was some kind of Funtime Fantasy Land! I mean, there’s analogues to everyone I know! How is this real!” She said as she punctuated her words with table-slamming, attracting the attention of passerbys which grabbed her attention.
“Starlight, calm down, you’re attracting attention.” Sunset rubbed her wrist. “But what is real, anyway?”
“W-what do you mean?” Starlight asked like a suddenly naked person.
“I mean, who knows if any of this is real?” Sunset asked as she leaned onto the table. “Who’s to say that some outside force isn’t feeding signals into our brains as we’re strapped into―”
“Arcane brain-massaging devices?”
Sunset cocked her head as Starlight presented a nervous grin.
Starlight giggled. “I’m drawing up a preliminary design for one right now.”
“Hmm.” Sunset pressed her lips together. “So maybe traveling through the portal transported you to a future where you perfected this device, yes?”
Starlight exhaled, then regained her posture. “And since I’m weaving ethical limitations into it, killing someone except in specific circumstances would cause the simulation to malfunction!”
“Sure.” Sunset grinned.
“And… and…” Starlight raised a finger. “If I disrupt the simulation, we wouldn’t get to hang out!”
Sunset leaned back and smiled. “Whatever works for you.”
“You know, Sunset,” Starlight said as she picked up her muffin and took a large bite, “you’re the best simulated friend I could ever have.”
“You know, I can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before,” Sunset said with a chuckle, “but I can accept that.”
“Good,” Starlight said with her mouth full, “because if you didn’t, I might have to abort the simulation.”
Sunset hummed contentedly.
Great ponyfeathers, Sunset thought, that mare is absolutely bonkers.
