Chapters SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
1: What Could Possibly Go Wrong
"Twilight! Twilight! Twilight! I am so excited! Are you excited!" Pinkie yelled with excitement. Well, why shouldn't she, today is a special day. "Twilight! What are we celebrating? I am not really sure what are we celebrating, but it's super duper awesome! And there is also a cake!"
Look at her go, that hyperactive pink party pony. Yes, there is also going to be a cake that's going to be fired from the cannon. It's going to be an extremely lewd adventure for an unfortunate soul.
"Yes, Pinkie I am excited! Now please don't rush me. I have to make sure that everything has to be perfect," Twilight chased of Pinkie Pie and then went back to fine-tuning preparations for the tonight's social event. The new rising star Songbird Serenade is going to perform today on stage in a Canterlot's Castle.
"Um, Twilight, I think we have a problem?"
"What is it, Rainbow? You know what would happen if something is going to ruin this perfect day!"
"Are you going to lock me up in your sex dungeon? I won't mind if you do. Anyway, before we derail from our conversation, our sniper reports an unusual storm cloud formation."
"What about it? I don't need to tell you how to do your job do I?"
"No, I guess you don't. According to the same sniper, there is an airship that's about to enter No fly zone.
"Well, order Scootaloo to shoot it down! Do you think she can do it?"
"Oh yeah, definitely! Enjoy the early fireworks show Twilight."
Rainbow Dash switched communicator channels, "You've heard her right? Let it rip!"
"The Ripper round is loaded and armed," Scootaloo inserted the cartridge into the rifle. She then armed the chamber with the round, ejected the cartridge, inserted an extra round into it and inserted back in. Hey, how many fifty caliber rounds do you need to bring down the airship?"
"Ideally, just one..." Rainbow Dash started saying.
"....Blow the engine with a high explosive round!" They both finished together, then they both started to laugh.
"Yeah right, unfortunately, it facing the wrong way."
"So what? shoot it when they are going to face their airship broadside to us, foolishly bragging their superiority!"
Sure!?
Okay, any second now...any second now... okay go for it!
Sootalloo shrugged and pulled the trigger six times in a quick succession. Six loud bangs later and the airship lost it's balance and fell down.
"Well, their engine is down the balloon is popped, the command center is busted, and they are still here. I might have miscalculated because I thought they are going to crush from the cliff. Well okay, I think I see Twilight glaring at me from all the way out of there! Yep, I am definitely going to Twilight's sex dungeon today, boo ya!"
"Rainbow! you had one job, one bucking job!" yelled Twilight.
"Yep, Twilight's sex dungeon here I come."
"Um, Rainbow, first thing is your channel is open, and second I think I've heard it your point the first time."
"Oh right sorry about that Scootalloo!" Rainbow started to whistle and slowly trotted away.
Meanwhile, the red Unicorn with a broken horn exited the shipwreck of the airship "I swear that could have done a lot better. I've told them to not face the city in the full broadside, but no they didn't listen!" At the same time, Princess Major Twilight Sparkle is trying to calm down herself, as well as three other Princesses.
"Now I know that obsession with perfection is a little quirk of yours we couldn't exactly get rid of from you! I just think that's this reaction is a bit extreme." Princess Celestia had been standing with Princess Luna, and Princess Luna had been curiously watching the pony at a shipwreck.
"Extreme! Extreme! Do you even realize who that pony is? Twilight snorted. "This is like going to be the second coming of Starlight Glimmer, we already have the original, we don't need another one. I just had a terrible dream that we got rid of royal guards and that Starlight Glimmer wannabee with the broken horn is going to make fools out of us!"
"Twilight please just calm down, we didn't get rid of the royal guard, we just reformed them into modern clone army initiative." It was now Princess Luna's turn to speak "'oh look she is coming close to us!"
"Right okay! The clone army, yes that's going to be just perfect!" Almost Instantly a group of fifty Pinkie Pie Clone Troopers showed up out of nowhere. Then the first Pinkie clone came directly to Twilight and then reported directly to her.
"Sorry boss we are late, what did we miss?"
"Even you started to call me boss, anyway it doesn't matter. Do you see that pony? Surround her and observe, but do not engage her yet."
"Sure thing boss! You heard her ladies, lets spread out and then let's greet that big meany a happy warm welcome!" a Clone Commander Pinkie winked and then they all vanished into thin air.
Princess Celestia was slightly disturbed "Since when did they learn how to wink?"
"They are Pinkie Pie clones why are you still questioning it?"
"Well, I just never got used to it." Princess Celestia tried to defend herself
Alright, what the hey do you want?" Princess Major Twilight addressed the new mare.
"Well, at first I wanted to invade your city, and then use your ponies, specifically you six as magic batteries. Now that I think about it I want to enslave those princesses"
"Aha! I knew it!" yelled Twilight.
"You knew what?"
"You are Starlight Glimmer wannabee." Twilight Sparkle had a strange unnerving smile "Oh almost forgot for the crimes of treason ten thousand years dungeon."
Somewhere out there Rainbow Dash cursed "Ponyfeathers why did she get all the fun stuff?'
"There there!" Fluttershy hugged Rainbow Dash in an attempt to be sympathetic.
Meanwhile, the Unicorn became annoyed, "Who the hell is Starlight Glimmer?"
"Oh, you are saying hell instead of hey okay I think I get it." Twilight then turned somewhere in a random direction, and then yelled with Canterlot voice "STARLIGHT! GET OVER HERE!!"
"What? What is it?" Starlight Glimmer teleport-winked close to her teacher. Twilight sensei, is there something you want?
Actually, yes! It comes to my attention there is some pony here who just like you!"
"Just like me? I don't think I understand."
"Yes, you see this mare over here, let me see. Hey?" She addressed the Unicorn. "What's your name?"I don't want to call you Starlight Glimmer two point oh.
Unicorn rolled her eyes. "My name is Tempest Shadow."
"Okay, well, this traitor to the crown over here, she decided to invade the Canrerlot, and then she wants to use the ponies as magic batteries!"
"Um, Twilight actually that's was Tirek I was just trying to take everypony talent marks away."
"That's even better, she can go straight to Tartarus! Litteraly!"
Storm Tempest tried to clarify, "Well actually it's not me but a Storm King, and well it's not just Canterlot. I want the whole Equestria to bow down to me. Now hand it over I don't have all day!"
"No! No! No! You are not going to do anything, except one thing! KNEEL!"
"What?"
"Did you missed the memo? I said, KNEEL BEFORE YOUR PRINCESS!"
"You better do as she says!" Starlight addressed the confused Unicorn.
"What?"
Starlight sighted, "I am just saying that you are not going to win, so just stop wasting everybody's time and just do what she says!"
Tempest Shadow just couldn't believe it what she was hearing "Come on you cant be serious!"
"I am pretty sure I am! Look, I don't think you understand how this works, she is a good guy and you are a bad guy!"
"No! No way I am not doing that!"
"Well, I tried! She is all yours, Twilight!" Starlight then stepped away.
"Okay then! I guess I have no choice, GIRLS!" Twilight called in Clone Troopers.
"You called, boss?' at the same moment, Pinkie Pie clone, Commander of the Clone Army popped into existence.
"I am too tired right now, so I will make this quick! Execute order #37! Commander, take this horse into custody!"
"As you wish Major! Girls! Sick her!" with that her and the others clones did burst into action.
Author's Note
Technically I wanted to write this ever since the first two trailers got dropped, and well I thought that something did bother me a little. Why is there no army? Where are all Royal Guards? We can do a better movie than this! So, we are doing a fanfiction parody! possibly abridged! If this sounds like a terrible idea then it probably is! The first chapter is based on trailers only so there shouldn't be any spoilers.
Thank you, everyone, for reading this chapter.
SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
Princess Luna sighted, there was something amiss with the situation that just happened today early morning.
"Is something wrong?"
"It's nothing Clone Commander! I just realized that the whole plot replied on a very stupid invasion, which somehow supposed to take us by complete surprise." Luna fiddled with her hooves. "Even with Queen Chrysalis constantly providing us with creative invasion scenarios, what were those idiots even thinking when they decided they could just waltz in here right in the middle of the day."
"You've mentioned that before but did she really still doing it?"
"But of course, she still provides her services, even if one of her invasions backfired in such spectacular way that it triggered the next stage in their evolution. I had to say, Princess Twilight had to explain to Starlight why exactly Chrysalis refused her offer."
"Her job is not over yet?"
"That's correct, Commander, at least one more mission is left and then who knows what will happen next. Now then, let's go meet our prisoner in the dungeons."
After Princess Luna trotted all the way to the dungeons, she then trotted to the farthest cell where their newly captured prisoner Tempest Shadow had been standing.
"Would you ask me to kneel too?" She spat to Princess Luna.
"You foolish little foal! No, I will not ask you to kneel!" Princess Luna trotted really close to Shadow. "Let me guess, you got your horn broken by the Ursa Minor, and then you started to feel high and mighty because of it! Is that it? Well? Did I guess it right?"
"Yes!" Shadow replied, "How did you know?"
"How did I know without you telling me? I wasn't born yesterday little foal I know at least one thousand methods how to damage Unicorn's horn. I remember back in my day Unicorn Royal Guards went in early retirement with all kind of injuries including broken horns. All of them had to deal with it, and none of them threw foals tantrum like you did today.
"I suppose I should tell you when we are going to capture that individual Storm King then he can personally rot here with you in the dungeons."
With that, she trotted back from the dungeons and straight to her office.
"I know what you are thinking Commander but I have nothing to say to her, nor do I wish to continue talking to her. I already said what I need to say and that's final. If you think that's my behavior Is somehow does look like out of character, then I should just remind you that in my days she would have been executed for treason. Nowadays she will get a nice comfy jail cell and then it's Princess Twilight problem not mine. Now if you please excuse me I have paperwork to do."
"I leave you to it then!" With that Commander just went outside and closed the door.
"I've just received news that they captured Tempest Shadow!" Twilight Sparkle just now received a magic transmission from Canterlot
"Well that's good I think, does that means we probably shouldn't see her all the way over here."
"No Rainbow she shouldn't! You did bust out her ride remember? Even if she somehow escape she would lose the massive advantage of traveling really long distances in a short amount of time."
"So? What are you going to do with her then?"
"Do we even had to do anything at all? I mean can't we just once go with our lives without trying to forgive the bad guy! " Pinkie Pie stated her own thoughts on the subject
"Pinkie, I didn't expect from you to go one-eighty from forgiveness policy."
"Twilight! Normally I would be extremely friendly to just everyone in Equestria and outside of its borders, but I thought about it. And, well, sometimes other people are just mean meany pants. I don't know, I just feel like there is always some fakeness is going on even if people are just trying to be nice with each other."
Twilight then tried another tactic "Well okay! I suppose I can live with that, but don't you think we are a bit harsh."
Rarity then replied, "What do you mean?"
"She is a cripple, I mean she lost her horn since childhood."
"And how is it had been working out for her? Is that somehow slowed down her magical abilities, or alienated all the other ponies that used to be her friends. If second, then she had some really bad friends, and the rest she just did it to herself. I am sorry if this sounds cruel to you Twilight, but she is a traitor, and we do have a zero-tolerance policy for traitors..."
Princess Cadence and Princess Celestia just now came back to others, just recently Twilight suggested it would be more efficient if they would split up into two teams. She said that somehow it will work itself out. They just now managed to negotiate their transport from the bend of local pirates. Their job specialty was actually misleading since the actual piracy being illegal, however, nobody would stop them performing to be a fake piracy for the sake of entertainment.
"Cadence, are you seeing the same thing I am seeing?"
"Celestia, If by that you mean them actively trying out their new personalities then yes! Right now Pinkie Pie is trying to be rude and uncaring, Twilight is trying to be kind and compassioned, Fluttershy simply observers and not saying anything simply because an engaging conversation with just about anyone is simply a sure way to offend them. so I guess she is just being herself. Rarity is technically right, I suppose Discord received a slap on the claw that one time. Now that I think about it Applejack is practicing Fluttershy tactic, and Rainbow Dash only rarely engages in the conversation.
"I remember Princess Luna went into her usual tirade Back in my days we used to execute traitors, end of story! [/i ] Then she remembered that Discord is immortal, so she just let it go of the issue."
"Do you suppose she realizes how that sounds from her point of view, and technically The Forgive and Rehabilitate Clausse exist partially because of her."
"I've talked to her about that, she then said this to me that I should be more realistic, for example, according to her, the only reason because she got away with the Nightmare Moon fiasco is that the Alicorn regime was still in power. However she wouldn't ask for mercy or expect it from Griffins, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Goats, Donkeys, Cows, Dragons, The Old and New Changelings, and I suppose by now several other species we've been actively ignoring by now "
Princess Celestia then asked one simple question "Do you suppose we should tell them that we have just arrived?"
"Well if you want to break their socializing session then I suppose we should, but I advise against it."
"Right, well I guess we just wait then for them to naturally finish it"
Author's Note
By now that's the movie is officially out, expect it the story to have occasional spoilers. Probably expect one more chapter to be dropped somewhere sometime tomorrow, Unlike two others Incomplete stories I actually plan to finish this story sometime by the end of fourth or the fifth chapter. There is like no reason to drag it out, For longer than necessary, Tempest Shadow is defeated, and let's just say Storm King run away. Originally I just wanted Twilight to kill Storm King in a cruel and sadistic way, by then she would just proceed to smash crystalized Tempest up, but I decided against it.
Thank you, everyone, for reading this chapter.
SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
4: Don't Leave a Trail When You Bug Out
Twilight Sparkle and the company finally arrived at the top of the mountain and well they found only ruins.
"So we do agree this place is a dump! Because I don't know how else is too say it." Rainbow Dash trotted to the ruins of the old house and just kept looking at it.
Pinkie Pie then went close to her, "You can say that again I was so shocked by all of this, I forgot to include the full montage of us going to pirate ship, then Rainbow Dash was doing a Sonic Rainboom, and then we just arrived I guess."
"A Sonic Rainboom, why would I do that? More importantly, I don't remember doing it!"
"Exactly! As I was saying before, I forgot!"
Rainbow rudely interrupted Pinkie"I mean why would I actually do that? that's like advertising for everyone who might be looking for us to come and find us."
"Wasnt that kind of the point? I mean I even left them a handy We are there? map for them to find!"
"Yes, but!"
"Hey don't look at me like that, you know..." Pinkie Pie then quickly whispered, and yet everypony could still hear her, "...Princess Celestia's orders!"
"Whatever Pinkie lets just get it over with this, so we can go home."
Meanwhile, Rarity decided to state her own thought on the matter, "Well, at least there is something we can agree on! Anyway, well I guess they don't have a spa here! That's really unfortunate."
"Yes, Rarity! Very unfortunate!" Rainbow suddenly flipped into the sarcastic mode.
'Girls! If you are done with getting it out of your system, we still had a work to do." Twilight wouldn't have any of it, they need to stay focused.
"Okay!" everypony else replied to her, "What exactly we are looking for?"
"At this point, anything will do. Try to find something that would help us figured out any clue of where they went," instructed Twilight. She then thought about many things, specifically what will be the best way to do this. She then thought about Captain Celaeno and her wonderful crew. Twilight somewhat fondly remembered how in their excitement the captain threatened them to walk the plank. Somehow the selfish thought crossed her mind that Alicorns and pegasi weren't in real danger. However, she wasn't completely one hundred percent certain that they could save everypony.
Twilight could easily understand what the Pinkie Pie was talking about because when the captain was about to do it she suddenly changed her mind and went for a dinner break. Everypony else somehow managed to shrug it off and then Pinkie did one other thing to insult the laws of physics. She casually trotted on the plank, she then trotted bellow it, she even started to trot on the ship walls. Once again everyone just shrugged it, somehow even the pirate crew wasn't impressed...
"Hey, Twilight does a strange whirlpool of water counts as a clue, because I think I found something! Oh, I guess we found a spa for Rarity! Because I guess it could be quite relaxing to swim in it." Rainbow was just swooped in next to Twilight. "Hey Twilight, snap out from the flashback sequence! Pinke! Stop using Fluttershy telepathic powers trying to hypnotize the flashback to everypony else mind!"
"Uh! Wait, what? What what's just happened?"
"It's nothing, come on let's go! everypony is already waiting!"
Rainbow Dash and Twilight trotted right back to where everypony else had been waiting. Twilight then quickly took action "Okay, ponies what we've got here?"
"Apparently this is no normal spa!" Princess Celestia casually glanced at Rarity.
"What? Why does everypony start cracking jokes at my expense! All of you wish we got at least something to freshen up!"
"It's no big deal Rar just relax will you, It's just..." Rainbow Dash sighed heavily.
....
"...you know what! I cant do this anymore! I quit!!!"
"Where do you think you are going Dash! We aren't done yet!"
"We aren't done with what Twilight? I thought it wasnt quite clear that we are filming a movie. I just thought everypony had been aware of it."
"We do!" Twilight tried to salvage the situation, "Buck it Rainbow, don't you dare to screw it up!"
"I cant hear you! If you need me you know where to find me!" with that Rainbow flew off from the movie set.
Everypony just stared at the distance. They just kept looking and looking until Fluttershy started speaking, "So um, what are we looking at?"
"Sunsets are quite pretty over there!" Princess Celestia replied.
"Yeah, they kind of are!" Everypony else agreed with her
"Right well, since Rainbow just ruined for everypony else, I guess I would just go before it gets even more awkward."
"Se you tomorrow then!" Twilight shouted back after Rarity just left, she then addressed Fluttershy "Fluttershy, please make sure that Rainbow would come back tomorrow!"
Fluttershy nodded and then flew away as well.
Princess Celestia looked in the direction of the pony who just flew away, she then asked Cadence "Do you think she would let us have tea with her if we go and help her out?"
"I suppose the tea does sounds good right now! At this point, I even forget that the original script still exists."
Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence flew off in the direction where Rainbow and Fluttershy just flew.
"Right, well I guess I will see you tomorrow as well Twilight, listen it wasn't your fault. I suppose I guess I could keep you a company if you want!"
"Sounds fair, alright goodnight Applejack I was just hoping that we could have finished the scene today." Twilight sighed sadly
"Applejack is right! don't beat yourself up Twilight! I was been too pushy with my flashback sequence!"
"Okay take care Pinkie! I just going to stay here for a bit and then I guess I will go to sleep!"
After everypony else is left Twilight then left alone under the whirlpool of water "I guess Its just you and me huh! I guess I just started to talk with inanimate objects! I am starting to sound pathetic!"Then a really weird thing happened, Twilight jumped straight into the whirlpool. She then spun a few times in it and then disappeared inside it.
"Rainbow Dash was it really necessary to do this!" Fluttershy was with Rainbow Dash right now and two Princesses was also with her! They occasionally helping her out in hopes of getting tea.
"Well no, not really I suppose I freaked out a bit, besides yeah I guess getting paid sound good!"
"See It, wasn't so bad, so a movie huh! I guess this time Pinkie Pie did as she promised she would!"
Fluttershy and Princess Cadenced went into the kitchen, Rainbow Dash and Princess Celestia stayed.
"Princess Celestia?"
"What is it Rainbow?"
"You do aware that I am monster right?"
"Sweetheart you should spend more time with my sister, you are not even half as bad as her. Anyway, why did you asked me of this."
"I don't know I guess I wanted to talk."
"No thanks, I'll pass!" Rainbow snorted "Anyway is this just my imagination or we just left Twilight completely alone?"
"Now that quite curious how did you figure that"
Rainbow Dash then showed her a magic scroll with text on it With her perfect vision Celestia could see a small text of bubbles.
"Its called Magic Text Messaging a little blue birdy told me that Twilight might have ended up alone. I just thought that someone would actually make sure she wouldn't end up in a situation where she might end up alone!"
Princess Celestia sighted, kids and their technology, "Well, I am pretty sure she is going to be okay."
"Yeah, okay, didn't say I didn't warn you about it," Rainbow Dash then thought that the next part is going to be very difficult to explain "We were on a movie set right?"
"Well technically yes!" Celestia nodded, "we never left Applewood's advanced holographic room."
"IIs that the one that makes everything look pretty and ultra-glittery?"
"Yep, that's the one the whole thing is just a giant green screen room, although I am starting to like ultra-glittery effect."
Rainbow Dash then continued talking "Then please explain to me what the hey was the real portal device is doing right in the middle of the holographic room designed to shoot ultra-realistic movies!"
"Now when you put it that way, this definitely sounds bad! You don't suppose she jumped!"
Rainbow Dash glared at her "I cannot trust ponies around me to do one simple thing, I managed to spot something really suspicious and then everypony else manages to buck it up!"
"To be fair we shouldn't have cut ties with hippogriffs," concluded Princess Celestia, "on the bright side I am not frozen in a carbonite right now. Let us go grab a tea right now!"
"Yeah okay, let's go! We can always solve our problems tomorrow."
Author's Note
it was a really bad idea to try to write two chapters in the row, the result was kind of bad. Even if I was aware of what to write, it was quite difficult trying to get myself motivated. And then I had to improvise, with treating the whole thing like a giant movie set Because it didn't go anywhere.
Thanks you, everyone, for reading this chapter.
SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
5: Call upon the Sea Ponies
Twilight Sparkle had been woken up in the strangest situation. She wasn't sure how exactly did all of this made sense to her or even to anypony else.
The movie part was true, about two weeks ago Pinkie Pie visited the Friendship Castle aka the Embassy of Poniville for diplomatic relations with Princess Twilight and her friends as ambassadors to the international community.
Pinkie Pie as an Ambassador to the Yackyackistan. Unofficially Fluttershy had been assigned to deal with the Republic of Minos, it's just happened that way. Rainbow Dash took in the responsibility of dealing of what's left of the Griffin Kingdom.
Not only did Spike managed to win the title of the Dragon Lord he also got a role of a middleman between dragons and ponies, and Starlight was the unofficial ambassador to the new changeling's clan. That kind of happened too.
So anyway, Pinkie Pie came and insisted that she finally managed to do it. There is going to be a huge movie project, and this time it isn't just an excuse for a government to spy on their citizens. It wasn't supposed to be in the first place, the previous director just took some liberties for the sake of ratings.
Pinkie Pie warned Twilight, as well as, the vast majority of ponies who are going to participate in the project that for the next seventy-two hours they are going to spend in the state of the art virtual reality simulation environment that's been using the latest and the most advanced magic tech technology available.
She said that a lot of really strange things are going to happen that sometimes aren't going to make a lot of sense. She said that the most important thing that they need to remember is that it's not going to be real. It may feel like it was real, but it isn't.
So then why is that they in their quest of trying to find the fictional race of hippogriffs, they instead managed to find the very real portal that leads right in the middle of Celestial Ocean. Well, technically they weren't exactly fictional when Pony and the Griffins like each other really really much...
Dear Celestia I am right in the middle of the ocean, very deep too, why am I am not dead yet, screw the Alicorn Immortality, I should be in the pony limbo right now!
It was quite dark, but it wasn't dark-dark. She still managed to see the environment around her. She saw several underwater caves that are linked with each other. She managed to figure out that there was some sort of bubble that right now the only thing that keeping her alive. Twilight Sparkle didn't care how powerful Princess Celestia was she is going to be crushed by the water pressure in a matter of seconds.
Of course, maximum pressure all-terrain emergency bubble spell. The matrix of it is integrated into my regalia and designed to function with the pony who generated magical energy for it. In theory, the battery is infinite as long as the drain does not equal regeneration. Okay, that's fine I just not going to use spells that easy.
Twilight Sparkle thought process interrupted by a sudden creepiness of the whole situation, but the curiosity of the scholar won out in the end and then she decided to explore.
Meanwhile, Rarity thought about how creepy the fusion of the magic and technology was actually was. In the span of those hours that they spent here, an entire place just felt wrong. She even felt a hidden malice oozing all around them.
She thought back towards her sister, that's right Sweetie Belle wasn't in the simulated environment. Something to with Starship's artificial intelligence wasn't compatible with whatever it is that they are running here.
Right now she was mentally bored with looking at the hologram of Capper, which was frozen in eternal limbo. The story behind that was Rarity started to question Capper, specifically, she asked what was the catman had been doing in the middle of nowhere so far away from the Catman Kingdom? Surely he would have found better job opportunities way over there, then in the place like this? She remembered that it went something like that
"Correct me if I'm wrong, I just don't remember the correct name of the place where your people are located. What I am interested in is, what exactly prevented you to be able to succeed with your kind."
"Well, I was just!"
"I mean look at me, I choose to be the only seamstress in the whole town when no one else was willing to be or even cared about it. It strange to even think about it but in the civilized world as ours, ponies would think of some form of decency, yet the nudist culture was quite popular.
"So I was wondering what exactly prevented you to find the career path among your kind, was it inequality, the lack of education, or you just wanted to be adventures. Or maybe you are just a..."
"... Simulated program in a simulated environment created specifically for your own amusement?"
Before Rarity could say anything else Capper snapped his paws and froze the projector image, probably just to annoy her.
Twilight Sparkle had been studying the caves and so far she liked what she saw. she found the evidence of an ancient sea tribe called Seaponies. Then she started to whisper to herself.
"Forced by some sort of catastrophe one of the land tribes was forced to go underwater. There they split into two categories Seaponies and the Sirens. Sirens wanted to use music to seek chaos among the earth tribes, and Sea Ponies just wanted to sing music, a terrible music, but music non the less.
"Sirens then split into two other categories Sirens and Windigoes, The Windigoes caused the global catastrophe known as the one thousand years of darkness and ice....." The rest of the writing had been destroyed
"Wait, what? That can't be it! There has to be more!" Twilight exclaimed forgetting that she was deep underwater.
"But it is, there This is the only thing that's left from the old records!" Twilight received an unexpected reply.
Twilight turned one hundred eighty degrees and then saw the small Seapony who was now watching her guest.
"Hi, my name is a Princess Skystar, and well to tell you the truth that nopony lives here for many many generations."
Twilight swallowed, honestly she has every right to be scared, she was all alone deep underwater inside of the lifeboat bubble "But you are?"
"I was just passing by when I saw you, you were unconscious and was laying way over there. I just didn't know what do so I decided to come back later" She then swam closer to Twilight "Are you from the Earth tribe? I never saw the ponies above the ground, I wonder how you even got here?"
"I... I was just... There was a portal and I just did something stupid. There is all there is!" Twilight started crying. When she really thought about it she should have taken Applejack's offer, and then later create some stupid excuse to shut down this project. She was a Celestia damned Princess after all. What Princess says, usually everypony else listens.
"Oh the great portal to the land of the earth tribe, I heard my mom telling stories about it and..." Skystar started saying excitedly, but then she stopped, she could feel the stress of the pony of the land. There was some stress, mixed with sadness, probably some fear too. Princess SkyStar could see the pony desperately wished now that she would be somewhere far far away from here, preferably somewhere on the land.
"Oh, I am sorry, please don't be scared of me, would you please tell me your name!"
Twilight managed to calm herself down, and then replied: "Twilight, my name is Twilight!"
"You have a beautiful name Twilight."
"Thank you, Princess Skystar!... Did anypony told you that you have the earth tribes name."
"Oh, that's just a traditional naming convention. We shouldn't stay here. If you'd like I wish you to introduce you to my mother"
"Okay, I would like that!" Twilight agreed with her, and then pushed her bubble to make it swim next to the Seapony
Author's Note
I've told you that I am going to create MLPxWestworld, well sort of, the ponies just created a giant holodeck and then started using it to create movies. Also the first contact situation with Seaponies. I wondered how I am going to include Capper in all of this, thankfully he played the minor role with Rarity.
Thank you, everyone, for reading this chapter.
SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
6: The Case of Mistaken Identity
It took them several hours but they finally managed to corner Discord into the corner between two walls. All of them looked tired and exhausted, but still, they were happy and smiling. However, Discord didn't seem to affect.
"Discord, what can you say in your defense?" Princess Celestia was extremely tired at this point. "I think I have a huge headache!"
"Me? I am not sure what you mean? All of you agreed to it and signed a contract to star in the most expensive movie project ever created."
Rainbow Dash, as well as all the others, looked at him with the look of annoyance. "Hey, buddy, if you think you could forget what you just did, let me remind you. We already tried to talk with you like civilized people, and do you know what you did next? You decided to just casually erase the last twenty-four hours like they never happened!"
"So? You still failed to stop Twilight Sparkle jumping into the vortex! As far I am concerned I just did you all a big favor. In fact, let me paint you a picture, I've spent way too much time with my sister Eris, who came to me screaming at me for my stupidity. I've made quite a lot of mistakes across space and time. What are you even doing here? I would just suggest you go get Twilight Sparkle out of there. Fair warning, you are going to end up under a lot of pressure so, good luck! I am pretty sure that the emergency bubble is going to protect you all at the same time!" He snapped his claws and all the ponies vanished.
The first one who woke up was Pinkie Pie, "Look everypony we are deep under the ocean! Huh, I guess, we are supposed to go here in the first place!" She trotted to the edge of the bubble and then sat down on the ground.
Rarity trotted next to Pinkie Pie and then sat down next to her. It was a really big bubble, Princess Celestia generated a lot more magical energy to power it. "It's kind of pretty isn't it!"
"Yes, yes it is!"
Meanwhile Princess Twilight and Princess Skystar had been floating in the large throne room. Well, Princess Skystar had been floating, Twilight had been standing in her own personal bubble. On both sides of the room, there were two rows of Seapony guards. Right in front of them was a throne where the Queen of Seaponies had been floating, they all have been floating in here.
"So it would seem that my daughter has brought a surface dweller back to us! I suppose that just means I should ground you!"
Princess Skystar wasn't faced with a threat of grounding, "Well, you can't really ground me because we are all underwater, and if you actually would try to ground me then I suppose that means I would be banished to the surface!"
"You know what I mean, you disobedient child! And you!" She took her attention to Twilight, "It's been so long ago when your kind visited us last time."
Twilight started talking, "Seven years actually, and last time I checked hippogriffs and Seaponies were completely different tribes. So I ask you, what did your people do to the Seaponies?"
"We are Seaponies!"
"Like hay you are, I will ask you again! What the hay did you do to the Seaponies?"
Princess Skystar became super excited, "I know this one! Only we use the word seaweed. Oh oops, sorry!"
"My name is Queen Novo, and as I was trying to say before my daughter interrupted me, we are Seaponies!"
Twilight Sparkle took in a big calming breath. "I think I relived the same day twice. On my first day, when I first came here I was very scared and confused, but then I found out the little history that you are trying to hide! I thought that it was a bit strange that about seven years ago we lost contact with a hippogriff tribe. The same exact tribe who is now claiming to be part of an ancient tribe of Seaponies. So I came here for the second time around, and I would greatly appreciate it if you drop the pretense!"
Princess Skystar had been looking at both of them with the fearful look, from the looks of it other Seaponies had similar uncomfortable expressions on their faces.
"Aren't you the brave little pony! You came all this way to us, just to insult us in our faces!"
Twilight shook her head, "it's very unfortunate that you don't see reason! Honestly, I am offering you a peaceful solution to all of our problems! You are the one who is trying to be stubborn!
"You know, I thought that maybe Kings or Queens aren't bastards. You see, the Queen of Changelings is also my greatest friend. Their new King is also my friend as well. And then there is you! Liar and a cheater!"
Queen Novo had enough! That pony is starting to get on her nerves, "Guards seize her!"
Almost immediately the battle group rushed in to obey the given order, however, a massive pulse of magic pushed them back. At the same time, the water got displaced by a large bubble force field. Princess SkyStar ended up being inside the bubble immediately exposed to the different environment, which caused her body to transform into hippogriff.
"I am okay!" Twilight heard her shouting.
"Fascinating!!" Twilight simply said, with her bubble had been popped she decided it would be the best to fly away towards her friends who immediately surrounded her into the protective circle.
"I am really sorry for my student rude behavior, she is currently under a lot of stress. I think it would be best if we just forgot this little incident." She then turned around to Cadence, "Is this makes me too much of a pushover? What about assertiveness, am I not assertive right now? Please tell me if I am because I have noticed that the ponies stopped respecting me!
"No, No! You are good! Honestly, why is this still an issue?" Princess Cadence replied to her.
"Because every time there is a world crisis involved we always end up our flanks kicked like it was nothing to sneeze at. Cadence do you remember your heroic moment, like the last thing that you did, heroically!"
"But isn't that what the enemy is supposed to do? They invade at our territory and then gloat at how weak and pathetic the ponies are! "
Meanwhile, at Twilight side, her friends had been preparing to make a run for it, "Alright, the royal package is secured when Celestia would give us a signal we are going to mass teleport our sorry tails out of here! Is this bubble started to shrink, why is it shrinking?
"The energy is magic to just keep it this big, and now Princess Celestia's magic reserves are nearly depleting, we barely have enough magic to mass teleport all of us out of here!" shouted Pinkie Pie, "Don't ask me how I know this? I just know."
Applejack had been slowly observing how the protection bubble had been slowly, "I don't think I want to be that pony but I think I would need to take Rainbow's side! I don't really understand why did you had to come back to here, but now that we finally went and get you back we can finally go home! Princess Celestia can handle the rest! Maybe we even could even forget that all of this did happen."
"Mhmm!" Everypony else agreed with her. Applejack nodded at Princess Cadence, and Princess Cadence nodded at Princess Celestia who then nodded back at Princess Cadence and then Princess Cadence nodded back at Applejack. Everypony else groaned at that.
"Will you just hurry up, we need to jump now! I don't think our bubble can handle it anymore!" Rainbow Dash yelled at them. With a small flash, they mass teleported back to the surface.
Author's Note
I guess one more chapter is required to finish the story.
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SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
7: Toyetic Mare on the Hovercraft, Wait What?
Tempest Shadow or as she now is known as Fizzlepop Berrytwist was sitting behind the bars. On a contrary, maybe the name Tempest Shadow was a lot simpler. Two guards came out to her.
"You are being released, please follow us!"
Tempest was very surprised by that, "Wait, what?"
One of the guards started talking, "Somepony pulled some strings for you, so the Equestrian court is forced to drop the charges of high treason. You've been transferred into an Princess Twilight's Villain Reformation Program , one of their social workers are going to contact you later during this week. Oh, and please accept this Care Package from Princess Celestia Cares Foundation "
The second guard gave Tempest a small package, which did contain a slice of cake, and some of the banana pancakes.
"Please come with us to this room, our camera specialist would be with you shortly."
Tempest waited for a few minutes, that is when the photographer came, was that Photo Finish? The mare in question trotted to Tempest Shadow and looked at her
"Yas, such pretty little face! Tsk, it's a shame that I've never met you before! Perhaps I could have spun you around all across the Broadway!"
"I am sorry! What?"
"I am saying that you would have been great in showbiz, such passion, such strength of character. Unfortunately such a poor choice of carrier."
"But my horn?!"
"Buh! I am an Earth Pony, I have no wings and no horn, but I do have the passion for what I like doing. You know what they said to me?"
"What?"
"They said to me, you look so much like Rainbow Dash! They said Rainbow Dash just using her wig and then puts her wings under the corset, and then she just dressed up in this cute dress of mine!"
"Is she?"
"Nein! But someponies would certainly try to convince you otherwise! The Picture, Yes!"
Photo Finish took a few shots and then satisfied with her work she trotted away. Tempest once again left alone, after a while another pony came back, this time it was Starlight Glimmer who came.
"You must be my social worker?"
"Yep," Starlight Glimmer nodded, "You are kind of lucky because Princess Twilight isn't personally overseeing your punishment! I am pretty sure she would have thought up something clever especially for you! Like she did with me!"
"What do you mean?"
They trotted into the next corridor, and then entered a small room where another mare had been sitting for quite awhile now.
"Well, you see I am kind of extreme equalist, some ponies even called me a communist. So, because of that, and with little advice from Pinkie Pie she paired up to me with her! Her name is Aryanne and she is a byproduct of Germane dark history Most of the time she is harmless and just likes to do cross-dressing! But her hobby is frowned upon on, so I guess she was more than excited at the opportunity to try and crossdress me. "
"Okay! So um?"
"Oh, right I guess you are going to spend the time with us since you rejected friendship and all."
"I didn't, I just!" Tempest tried to say, but Starlight interrapted her.
"Nuh-uh! The denial of your problems is the only the first stage in the system! Why don't you tell me everything so we could just skip to acceptance of your, I am sure of it, very tragic story!"
"Okay, well it all started when..."
Several hours later...
"... And then those jerks just ditched me in the forest. After that nopony else wanted to talk to me!"
"Well, that's a good thing that you managed to let it all out, I am pretty sure that you fill all better now!"
"I guess I am!" Tempest agreed with her. "I suppose you aren't that bad at listening to other ponies!"
"Thanks, I took a few lessons from Fluttershy, so um I guess you are part of an evil regime fun club, huh? Come on let us go outside I sm sure they are about to resume the celebrations, but you hate celebrations, so I guess we just had to put you outside of your comfort zone!"
"Well, actually I wouldn't mind..."Tempest tried to move away, but Starlight just wouldn't have it.
"No, no, we had to do this because healing is important. Also please sign this contract, and make sure to read the fine print!"
Tempest took the contract and looked at it, "Um its says here that they want to market me with their new toy line!"
"Yes, yes its simple stuff like that, and I guess they figure out a perfect punishment for you! You might end up as a model for extremly inaccurate toy line! Oh, I am really sorry dear I am reading Pinkie Pie's script! Sometimes they do end up making that mistake! You know like characters get mixed up because there are too many of them! Why I am still reading the wrong script?"
She then turned to Aryanne "Why I am still reading this script? she then showed her piece of parchment."
"I dunno!" she said. "Do you want, uh...do you want some candy?"
Starlight groaned "Hold on second, we are going to fix this problem! Pinkie Pie!"
"What are you!"Tempest started up, but then suddenl' realized " Oh no not her! Can I just please go back to my jail cell!"
Starlight smiled at her "Good I can see that this therapy is working!" her eyes then darkened, "I've told you that you are not going to win, and you just had to not listen to me, and threaten my teacher!"
Tempest swallowed, "What did you say?"
Starlight eyes returned to normal, "Oh, its nothing!" She then smiled at her once again. They continued to just look at each other until Pinkie Pie came to the room.
"Oh hello, Tempest, Hi Aryanne, and hello Starlight. Does Starlight is giving you a hard time?" Pinkie pie greeted individually, "Thank you Starlight you found my script, Sorry about that it confuses other ponies! Um, girls what are you still doing here! I would just suggest that you would go outside, um, and celebrate."
All four of them exited the room and entered the streets when Pinkie Pie started talking again, "Do you want to help me?"
"Oh, um, I guess!" Tempest nodded her head.
"Great we are going to be great!"
Tempest Shadow was about to speak again but then a whole bunch of fireworks had shot into the sky, all of them just continued to look at the sky above.
Author's Note
I don't know, just imagine
SNABU: Situation Normal: All Bucked Up
2: We Have Guards for a Reason
"Well, that could have been done better!" Princess Celestia shook her head watching clones engaging in a fearsome firefight with gorilla-like creatures. They kept throwing grenades where Pinkies would end up crystalized, the clones returned the favor in kind by slagging them with the autocannon.
"I think I just saved you from the terrible fate of becoming a glorified garden gnome. You know, at this point I've spent way too many joint missions during the time when my brother was still in charge of the royal guard. Not only that opponent preferred to use force instead of reason, they were often too arrogant at the thought that they would win and we would lose.
"What is the story of that Storm King anyway? Are we talking about a terrorist organization or is that something else?"
Princess Luna pitched in, "Well since you've asked from what we could tell from what we could salvage from reports from a joint Changeling Independent group and the Changeling Traditionalists Storm King was mostly kept to himself and building the power base from whoever had been insane enough of living in the middle of the wasteland."
"We do have a wasteland?"
"Yes, go to the most Southern part of Equestria, and then turn left and walk thirty hoof-miles in a hot scorching desert. The economy there relies mostly on imports where they import pretty much everything from food and water."
"Importing? What do they trade back?"
"Sometimes exotic goods, sometimes exotic services!"
"And by exotic you mean slavery? We do have a city of slavers just living in a close proximity from us."
Princess Luna cringed "Don't think about it this way, it's more like whoring out for money. Goods and services are still getting circulated and this is all that matters sometimes. They earn just enough capital from the quote-unquote tourism, to survive in there."
"So what would of been our plan B in the worst case scenario if a bunch of a terrorists slipped out from under our radar and basically tried to take over whole Equestria, because apparently, the public image of friendly defenceless pony worked so well that it now got everyone fooled into thinking that we can be just pushed into submission."
"Oh, that? The I would of recommendation for anyone who managed to escape to contact our allies hippogriffs."
"Hippogriffs? Is that just like a very famous OC on the Internet, wee!" A random Pinkie Pie clone had been pushed all the way into Princesses direction.
Immediately Twilight focused her attention on her "Status report?"
"Well they managed to push back us deeper into the city and then we started to push them back toward the cliff, then maybe we just could push them off the cliff Spartan style."
"Good strategy carry on, soldier."
"A little help with the lift?"
"Uh, sure! " Twilight grabbed clone with a telekinetic grip and threw her back into a combat. She then turned her attention back towards the three princesses "So Hippogriffs, how are they going to help us?"
"Honestly, I am not really sure if the auntie is aware of constantly changing the state of affairs."
"What is this supposed to mean Cadence?" Celestia acted out in surprise.
"Last time when we interacted with hippogriffs was over seven years ago, and it was during your Reign, then we just forgot about them. I am not even sure how they are going to react to us!"
Princess Luna then started to kick everypony else out, "Well I suppose that's is settled then. Twilight with Celestia and other girls will go on the quest to find lost Hippogriffs. I will stay here and Cadence can go back to Crystal Empire!"
"Well, actually I wanted to join them too Shining Armor can handle a few things without me!"
"Well, that's perfect then! Come on, move along there is no reason for you to stay here!"
"Yay! Princess Cadence can join us!" Pinke the real Pinkie was extremely excited.
"But what about the clones?"
"Twilight I can handle them really easily, besides they already finished to push those anti-bronies to the edge of the cliff! Did I said anti-bronies, what I meant those gorillas!"
Ten minutes later The girls plus Princess Celestia, as well as Princess Cadence, had been trotting down the road, Pinkie Pie had been bouncing all around them.
"Do you think they need me as the source of cloned material?"
"Nuh, they just need a just one of them to mass-produce the others by a multiplier of twos. Like this, from one to two, from two they have four. We now easily do have the force of eight thousand, one hundred and ninety-two of them How much is a legion" said Twilight.
"So what now do we have to walk all the way to that city?"
"Well, we had to we have about eight hundred words to fill! Also in it, we are going to steal the airship!"
"Pinkie, we don't need to steal anything, we are rich we can afford it"
"Okie Dokey! Who wants to guess how many words we do have right now?"
"Uh!" Rainbow Dash didn't know just what to say,
"Okay, I will start there are eight hundred and seventy-six words right now!"
"Uh" Rainbow slapped her head with a hoof "I don't know!
"Me neither!" Twilight replied.
"Come on girls this is easy, there are nine hundred and six words right now!"
"Oh, I get it!" Rainbow Dash grinned.
"You get what, darling?"
Rarity! There are nine hundred and twenty-seven words right now! She starts with there are and pulls the number out of the word editor, right after the counter hits right now!
"That, um nice?" Fluttershy offered her opinion.
"Yeah well, that's kind of an idea, there are a few issues where information might become inaccurate due to stream editing, but who cares about accuracy. The number is just made up changed constantly. For example, Twilight how many stars are there in the sky right now?"
"Oh, no Pinkie I am not doing this again! If this is your goal to cause me to go mentally insane, well congratulations this tactic wouldn't work!"
"Oh poo! You are no fun!"
Ten hoofs behind them Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence having a slightly different conversation.
"I am glad they are having fun! Although I am disappointed that we had to leave early. I was hoping to catch the Songbird Serenade's concert. I promised Shining Armor to get an autograph."
"I am pretty sure you will still get the chance. I've made sure that Princess Luna would do everything in her power to delay it until our return."
"Oh thank you, Tia, you are the best! Hug?"
"Hug!" Celestia agreed and they both hugged.
After about ten hours ride to Somnambulla, they were now walking in the scorching desert, with Rarity's assistance Twilight managed to charm eight umbrellas. There was a small magical breeze that's been blowing for each of them, and the average temperature had gone down a bit.
"This is quite nice isn't it thanks Rarity for giving me an idea!"
"Your welcome Twilight, I am glad I could help."
"So what are we going to do now anyway?"
Pinkie grabbed Rainbow Dash and waved the hoof over the horizon, "Equiss, the final frontier, These are the voyages of Starship Crusader. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations to boldly go where no pony has gone before."
"Pinkie! stop leaking top secret information!" Rainbow grumbled.
"Eh, why not? Here I thought that this is the season of the leaks! I mean why can't we just have nice things the way they were meant to be enjoyed! of course, some pony just had to go and ruin it Oh look, its yellow brick road! I guess someone was nice enough to animate it for us."
Princess Celestia came close to them, "Well, now I suppose it would be a good idea for me to say this, but Pinkie is correct, we would need an airship, for all of us to be able to travel to hippogriff mountain, this is the deal ladies, make sure to create just enough noise to make sure to flash out anyone who is wishing to do us harm! But still, act friendly enough to gather potential allies. Okay great, now that I summarized everything up we can continue onto our epic adventure!"
"So we want bad guys to follow us? Wow, she is savage! Now we all know from whom Twilight learned her trade!"
"Why yes Rainbow, Princess Celestia has always been the best chess master!"
"Twilight, no offense, but to this day Celestia had always been killing off her Princess leaving the Prince unit completely defenseless."
"That's true Rainbow, but one of the pawns always ends up on the furthers edge of the board and therefore promoted into the next Princess. So then the new Princess in a completely savage maneuver is going to defeat the enemy knight, and declare the checkmate."
"I imagine we would have to pay the toll to enter the city?"
"Yep, that's the idea! Let's get over it as soon as possible!" she then addressed the city guards that were posted on the edge of the yellow brick road "Hi, how are you doing? Its always being sunny isn't it? Anyway, do you take cash or credit?"
"Credit would be preferred miss, the new anti-scammer policy you see, and not anyone wants to be robbed! that would be twenty bits toll payment per person miss!"
"That's perfect do you accept the Equestrian bank?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Once again thank you for understanding!" With that Twilight scribbled a few lines on the scroll and levitated it to the guard.
"It's being a pleasure having business with you Princess, please consider visiting again!"
Author's Note
Mandatory bonus crossover noncanonical scene. a bloody and grizzly version.
Twilight and Tempest Shadow had been trotting on the streets of Canterlot.
"Listen to me carefully Twilight, Storm King conquers and controls everything he rests his eyes upon him! He leads the army so massive it shakes the ground with its march! So vast he drains the rivers dry! All the Storm King requires is this a simple offering of magic and mares. The token of Canterlot's submission to the will of the King."
They trotted and trotted until they arrived close to the large cylindrical pit. Twilight stopped and started talking.
Submission! That's a bit of the problem! See the rumor has it the Cloudsdalians already turned you down, and those philosophers and colt lovers found that kind of nerve..."
Fluttershy butted in "We must be diplomatic..."
Twilight just stopped her with the hoof "...and of course, Canterlotians have the reputation to consider."
Tempest patiently said the next few words, "Choose your words carefully Twilight Sparkle, they may be your last as the Princess"
Twilight then trotted a few steps on the ground, she looked down, looked somewhere distantly, looked at everypony else who was standing there. Magic and mares she heard a voice. Immediately she pulled a sword out of nowhere and pointed at Tempest
"Madmare! You are a madmare!"
"Wings and mares! Oh, you will find plenty of both down there!"
At the same time, royal guards started to surround those ape-like creatures who was with Tempest.
No mare! Personal grief, no mare threatens the messenger."
"You bring the bribes and heads of conquered Princesses to my city steps You insult my wife, you threaten my people with slavery and death, Oh, I have chosen my words carefully horse, but you should have done the same."
"Blasphemy! This is madness!"
Twilight put down her sword, she then looked at Moondancer. Moondancer nodded her head.
"Madness?' This! Is! CANTERLOT!" She then hovered a few inches from the ground and hoof kicked Tempest into the pit. All the other royal guards started to slaughter ape-like creatures and throwing them into the pit.
Well, that's just happened, oh and Twilight get betrayed by Spike! Thank you, everyone, for reading this chapter.
