Pinkie And Rainbow's Excellent Cookery-Related Adventure
The quest for deliciousness starts here!
Once upon a time there was a pony named Pinkie Pie. She lived in a wonderful town full of similarly walking and talking equines called Ponyville, which for those of you who don't know, is located in the middle of a magical world known as Equestria. Don't bother to check your maps: you won't find it. Also don't ask your geography teacher where it is, because they'll probably think you're a bit silly!
Pinkie Pie worked at a cafe called Sugarcube Corner, which true to it's name, sold all kinds of sweetly digestible eatables. Her faithful pet Gummy the baby alligator always kept her company, even during her longest shifts, although the poor thing was rather an inert creature and didn't seem to have any teeth. A preview perhaps, of what would happen to some of the more frequent customers who indulged too much in the saccharine produce there, but this disturbingly accurate comparison was never really bought up a lot. Bad for business, you see.
One day Pinkie Pie was working extra hard even by her usually tireless standards. Mixing the dough, measuring the ingredients, taking cupcakes out of the oven, serving the customers... and all most of them saw was the vaguest of garish blurs as it darted around the small restaurant at record speed. She didn't even get any of the orders wrong or compromise on her astronomically high standards in any way: each and every fortunate pony that patronised the cafe that day went home thoroughly satisfied and with a very full tum tum!
Watching her rush around all the while were the owners of the business, a loving couple aptly called Mr and Mrs Cake. Just observing their star employee zip about at light speed made them feel a full forty years older, and they weren't even anywhere near retirement age! Exhausted as they often were with taking care of their demanding twins Pound and Pumpkin Cake, they didn't have a prayer of matching Pinkie's zeal and enthusiasm for the task at hoof. If it wasn't for her boundless energy, their profits probably wouldn't even be a third of what they were, and considering the crowded market for snack treats these days, this was a minor miracle all by itself.
Their sense of gratitude and appreciation for the whirling pink dervish was so profound, both of them felt she deserved something a little extra on top of her usual meagre wage packet that week. That's when Mrs Cake had her fabulous idea, and whispered something into Mr Cake's ear, which he broadly smiled at and agreed to on the spot. The pair retreated to the inner recesses of their kitchen, as the day wore on and Pinkie Pie continued to rack up sale after sale until...
It was now early evening, and after a record setting day of baking and serving tasty consumables, Pinkie was just about ready to lock up for the night. She switched the sign on the door from 'OPEN' to 'CLOSED', and was about to grab Gummy to stuff him in her knapsack, when suddenly the Cakes reemerged from where they'd been keeping a low profile for the last few hours, their twins in close proximity. Sometimes the rambunctious foals had been known to engage in all kinds of mischief with each other, mostly when they wanted attention from their often busy parents. Right now though they appeared pretty sedate, and each had a seat on a parent's back, watching the pink mare intently with cute little button eyes.
Seeing the two older ponies who were almost like a second mother and father to her enter the room, Pinkie grinned at them both before saying: "Hi there, Mr and Mrs Cake! You won't believe how much I managed to sell today, and how happy all of the customers were when they left! I didn't even spill any of the icing this time around, or accidentally put Gummy here in a bag of muffins and give him away! You should've heard the racket he made back then, when he almost got taken away by a perfect stranger! He protested so loudly, he nearly shook the entire shop to the ground! I love him sssooo much..."
"E-Er, t-that's nice, dear. Pets are very important." Mrs Cake attempted to penetrate Pinkie's usual impenetrable spiel, to deliver an essential message of her own. "But what I wanted to discuss with you before you left for the day concerns you and you alone. Don't think we haven't noticed how hard you've been working of late, and me and my husband can't thank you enough for turning our humble little eatery into the premier destination for baked goods in all of Equestria! Ponies even come from as far afield as Manehattan and Fillydelphia to sample the delights on offer here, and if that doesn't tell you how highly rated we are, I don't know what does. And a lot of that unparalleled success is purely down to you..."
Upon hearing all this exuberant praise, Pinkie Pie became Scarlet Pie for a few brief seconds, as she blushed up a storm in front of the two veteran bakers. "T-Thank you both, from the bottom of my heart. T-This is all so sudden, and truly overwhelming... SNIFF" she emotionally responded as if accepting a major award at a big ceremony, before grabbing a giant handkerchief from nowhere to dab her eyes with. "...But you really didn't need to say anything at all. I adore working here, in fact a lot of the time I kinda feel that it's you and the twins doing me a favour! But I'll remember your kind words when I turn up again tomorrow, and hopefully they'll inspire me to work even more super-duper harder than today! Well... goodbye for now!"
"Wait!!" It was Mr Cake's turn to speak, and it was a good job he knew his restless employee as well as he did, as he was just able to sidestep into her path to prevent her from whizzing out of the front door before he'd even had chance to say his piece. As it was, Pinkie Pie managed to apply the brakes just in time to avoid both equines being unceremoniously flattened together, and for a few seconds they stared at each other with their muzzles barely a few inches apart, with Pinkie showing off her usual effervescent smile and the stallion feeling a little anxious at being in such close proximity with another mare in front of his wife.
"E-Erm..." Mr Cake continued, taking a few nervous strides backwards for the sake of personal space. "You didn't let both of us finish. Didn't you wonder why me and Mrs Cake were absent for so much of today? It's because we were hard at work on a secret new baking project, and we wanted you to be the first to see it..."
"Ooh!" Pinkie suddenly reverted back to her usual manic self, and she bounced rapidly around Mr and Mrs Cake as if the rigours of the day hadn't affected her stamina at all. "A brand new recipe! What is it?! Tell me Tell me Tell me Tell me Tell me Tell me Tell me!!"
"W-Well..." Mrs Cake began to visibly sweat a little along with her husband. If she got this excited now, who knows how over the top she'd be when she found out... "They were actually inspired by you: dyed miniature puff pastries full of sweet doughy goodness, with the face of our favourite employee carved on the front. The new treat is called 'Pinkie pies'. They were invented in your honour, to show you our endless appreciation for all your years of great service here. They'll go on sale soon, but we wanted to give you an advance taste yourself before we put them on display. Here's a small bagful: let us know what you think, and do try not to eat them all at once for a change..."
Knowing Pinkie the way they did, Mr and Mrs Cake's next move was very wise and borne out of much experience. Both adults went to cover their ears, and the twins (who'd also been through their own fair share of drastic situations involving their on-off babysitter) soon followed their parents lead.
Just in the nick of time too: Pinkie was on the cusp of exploding with pure, undiluted joy. Dancing. Fireworks. Some bagpipes playing out of tune, somewhere. And a series of elongated yelps of ecstasy, so intense in frequency that even the local fruit bat population might've been deafened upon hearing them.
"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANK YOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!" These were Pinkie Pie's exact words (or rather, word), as she gathered the whole Cake clan together for a massive group hug, before she finally beginning to simmer down a tad. "Wait til' I tell all my friends about this! They'll be ssoooo jealous... hey, maybe I shouldn't rub their noses in it. Nah, I want to 'rub their noses in it', because I'm sure they'll find these goodies as delicious as I will when we eat them together! Well anyway, I gotta go and spread the big news! See you all tomorrow, bright and early, early and bright! Wait, did I say that already? Oh, who cares when my face is on a cake! Maybe next time, you can make 'Maud Cakes'. They'll be just like rock cakes, but much, much harder. In fact, you'd probably need a chisel just to eat them. Maybe we can give one away free with each purchase! So many new ideas, tra la la la la..."
Without any further ado, Pinkie departed Sugarcube Corner behind once and for all that day, leaving behind four very tired and flummoxed Cakes still recovering from the tightness of her embrace and utterly bewildered by what had just transpired in that room, which'd been massively surreal even by Pinkie standards.
"W-Well, a-at least she's pleased, I-I guess." Mrs Cake attempted to get some feeling back in her joints and her brain, before a horrible revelation suddenly struck her. "Oh no..."
"What is it, dear?" Mr Cake was busy trying to settle down the children, so he wasn't quite on the same page as his wife.
"You're telling her tomorrow. I want to make sure I'm at least a thousand miles away from the disaster zone when she finds out the next part of her reward..."
"Finds out what, my darling?"
"...That we're giving her a promotion to head cook."
..........................................................................
"Now, who shall I tell?" Pinkie thought as she breathlessly hopped joyfully down the road, trying to decide which of her friends would be lucky enough to hear about her upcoming fame first. "Princess Luna? Doctor Hooves? Trixie? Good ol' King Grover in Griffonstone? Ooo, decisions decisions! What to do, what to do..."
Now, it just so happened that a squadron of elite pegasi often flew over Ponyville. They were commonly known as the 'Wonderbolts', and were often called into action whenever a threat to peace reared it's ugly head and the Princesses were too lazy to respond. They were also known for their grandiose flight displays, which were always exciting occasions for young and old alike. Especially whenever storm clouds and copious amounts of cotton candy are involved, but that's another story.
Amongst their proud number was a brash pegasus called Rainbow Dash, who also happened to be one of Pinkie Pie's closest buddies. She was swooping overhead now, alongside her equally skilled Wonderbolt colleagues Spitfire and Soarin, en route to being dropped off at her cloud home after a long day spent patrolling the skies. Because she'd been working tirelessly from the first light of dawn though, she hadn't even eaten that day yet, which made what she saw down on the ground even more enticing.
Signalling to her fellow Wonderbolts that she was about to leave them in the lurch, she swiftly took a steep dive downwards, careening towards her target, hoping to catch them totally unawares...
Still in the middle of deliberating who'd be lucky enough to hear her good news first, Pinkie was ill-prepared for the rainbow-shaped gust to pass by her in the air, and her precious bag of delectables to be snatched from her grasp. Blinking momentarily in surprise, alternating her vision between her empty hoof and the ground to confirm it was really gone, it wasn't long before she raised her head to confront the guilty party in the sky: a chuckling blue costumed figure holding her package up triumphantly.
"Rainbow Dash!!" Pinkie growled in annoyance at her so-called friend's unforgivable act of chicanery. "What do you think you're doing?! Give those back to me now!"
"Relax, Pinkie..." Rainbow chuckled, about to unseal the bag and see what treats she'd managed to swipe. "I only want a few of your muffins, and I'll pay you back for them doubly tomorrow. I haven't had a bite to eat all day, and my belly is rumbling something fierce. You don't want me to die of starvation, do you? Now, let's see what we have here..."
"But you don't understand!" Pinkie wailed in frustration, attempting without much success to jump as high as the clouds so she could nab her precious cargo back. "Those aren't muffins, they're a very exclusive range of goodies that'll be available soon that nopony has even tried yet, and I wanted to be the first! They might not even be ready for public consumption! So please, I beg of you... throw them down to me, and I promise never to prank you with fake zombifying cookies ever again!"
"Oh, now you've reminded me of that I'm definitely going to open these bad boys up! Why are you getting so worked up over a simple, everyday item of food anywa... wow!!" Rainbow Dash was in the middle of remonstrating with her friend over an apparent obsession with a simple baking item, before she took a closer look at what she'd snaffled, and her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Well, what do you know! They're the same shade of pink as you are, and they even have your face printed on them! I gotta say Pinkie, I never thought you were this narcissistic."
"It wasn't my idea!" Pinkie fumed, snorting at the obvious implication behind the statement, especially coming from one of the most egotistical mares around. "It was the Cakes who designed and made the product all by themselves! I was very honoured for them to choose me as their key inspiration behind the new line though, and..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Rainbow rolled her eyes at what she saw as Pinkie's grandstanding. "Let me guess: they're also called 'Pinkie pies'? How original. Listen Pinks: I'm very proud of you and everything, blah blah blah, but let's save the congratulation speech for later on, shall we? Right now I feel like I'm about to fall out of the sky from malnutrition, so if you don't mind, I'll be taking the first bite of this newfangled pie thingie."
Pinkie was utterly distraught upon realising it seemed as though she wasn't going to get the chance to sample the Cake's perfect product first, and sank to her knees in despair. Oh Rainbow, how could you do this, you don't understand how much it would've meant for me to try them before anypony else. Now that chance will have gone forever, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over...
"PHOOEY!"
That was the sound of a certain pegasus spitting out a mouthful of pie at high velocity, and Pinkie stared up in astonishment as Rainbow recoiled in disgust from what she'd just put in her mouth. "Yuck! What kind of a sick joke do you call this, Pinkie?! These pies are wwaayy too sweet for me to digest! What are you trying to do to me?! Here, you can take these back right now... I'll just go home and open my last can of mushy oats, I suppose. Shame really, because I was saving it for a special occasion. Or a rainy day, whichever came first."
Before the speechless mare knew what was happening, Rainbow had dumped the bag of pastries at Pinkie's feet, and was quickly making her way through the sky back to her domain in the clouds. Pinkie glanced down at her returned bag full of her self-named edibles with slight relief, before she caught up in her head the full extent of what the pegasus had just claimed. Taking the deepest breath she could, she yelled so loudly that even a quickly disappearing Rainbow was caught in the verbal slipstream, spinning powerlessly in midair as gigantic sound waves battered the atmosphere all around her.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
In other words, Pinkie was not best pleased at the negative critique of her employer's special pies, and informed Dash of this fact with all the subtlety a sledgehammer can muster. Taken aback by how much her opinion seemed to matter to Pinkie, Rainbow somehow still had the presence of mind to compose herself enough to fly back to her friend's side, a slight expression of annoyance present on her face.
"I-It's true... they were so sweet they nearly made my teeth itch." Rainbow answered honestly, indicating where on her jaw she'd needed to scratch the most. "I really didn't like them at all, and if I were you I'd get the Cakes to adjust the ingredients. Put less sugar and sweeteners in there, or something."
"What a load of mouldy baloney! The Cakes don't make mistakes in what they makes! For their sakes I'll prove they're not fakes when I partakes of their bakes!" Pinkie was so angry her tongue was quite literally tying itself in knots, and her prose was even more incoherent than usual.
"E-Er, wut?!" was a very confused Rainbow's only response to her blabbering, as she racked her brain without success for a viable translation.
"What I meant to say is... I'm going to try one for myself right now, to prove how wrong you are and clear the Cakes's good name! Well, bottoms up!" was the last thing Pinkie said, before she took the plunge and shoved an entire pie into her cakehole.
"Mmm! It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everypony is invited!" Pinkie remarked with joy, as her pupils inexplicably turned into stars. She savoured the flavour for a few more precious moments, before licking up all the loose crumbs with her almost prehensile tongue. "No offence Rainbow, but you don't know what you're talking about! This new recipe by the Cakes is one for the ages, and the entire town is going to love it! I guess that's why I'm the pastry expert here, and you're just a sorta weather-control pony!"
"Oh, really?" Rainbow raised an eyebrow at Pinkie's surprising level of aggression, but considering she was defending her beloved employers, perhaps it shouldn't have come as much of a surprise. "Well, I still say they're way too sweet for anypony with a sensitive palette like mine, and I intend to prove it. So, what do you think we should do?"
Pinkie paused for a moment to think, before a light bulb appeared from nowhere to levitate just above her head. "I know! Why don't we burst uninvited into a bunch of random pony's houses in the middle of the night, and ask them ourselves if they like the pies or not? Does that sound like a good idea to you?"
"Well, if that's the only way I can get you to see sense, then I guess I'm up for it." Rainbow shrugged her shoulders, before she thought of something else. "So, what forfeit will the 'loser' have to perform? Doing each other's chores for a week? Having Rarity give them a makeover? Galloping around town naked... oh, I forgot. We're already completely nude. Most of the time, anyway." She finished her sentence, by gesturing at her Wonderbolts uniform.
"What? This isn't a competition, Rainbow. It's merely a modern, exciting new way to get customer feedback!" Pinkie answered, while putting her light bulb away. "Haven't you ever done one for the Wonderbolts before? You know: how they grade your aerial prowess, synchronisation, nicknames..."
"Huh, I don't need other ponies to tell me how to do my job..." Rainbow responded with a huff, while folding her hooves in midair. "Besides, I already know I'm awesome. I'm not going to start a dumb survey to prove what my fans already know is a cast-iron fact. Anyway, the only reason you don't want to make a bet on the outcome is because you're chicken! What's the matter with you, afraid to put your dough where your taste buds are?"
Pinkie laughed upon hearing this, before replying good-naturedly. "Okay, Rainbow. First of all, great metaphor there! Secondly, I don't see what Boneless has got to do with any of this. Threely, I'm not worried about who'll 'win' our little wager at all! I already have all I need in life to be happy: Good friends, a great job, and a little alligator who curls on on my haunches every night before I go to bed. What more can any pony ask for?"
"A special potion designed to combat hyperactivity..." Rainbow was tempted to say, but managed to bite her tongue just in time. "Whatever you say, Pinks. You can make whatever excuses you want, but I know for a fact that I'm going to win, hooves down. In fact, so confident am I in my future victory, that I'll even let you choose where we go first. So go on, pick anywhere you like!"
"Hmm..." Pinkie pondered deeply, even to the extent that she bought her old light bulb out of retirement to mark the significance of the occasion. "Oh I know... how could I possibly overlook her prestigiousnessness and influenceness?! If anypony's going to tell me the truth it's her, and I'm even more sure she's going to be absolutely delighted to see us!!"
.....................................................
"Are you totally out of your mind?!" Twilight yelped at the Pinkie-shaped hole which had suddenly appeared in her castle that night, along with the slightly dazed mare herself following a few milliseconds later.
"I think both of us know the answer to that..." Spike deadpanned, not lifting his face from the newspaper even a little. He'd gotten way too used to Pinkie's bizarre behaviour by now, and if he attempted to point out every little weird thing she did, like not bothering to use the front door, he'd be there all day.
Twilight scowled momentarily at her sarcastic assistant, before turning her attention back to Pinkie, who had now been followed inside the hole by a rather sheepish-looking Rainbow Dash. "Well it's okay I guess... as long as it's an absolute emergency. The crystal will grow back by itself in a few days, and if ponies are in danger then such trivial things don't matter at all. So, as quick as you can, tell me what the situation is for you to come bursting in so dramatically. Are the Diamond Dogs on the warpath again? Has Queen Chrysalis returned to reclaim her kingdom? Does somepony need to check out a book, and they can't wait until tomorrow for it? It's a bit unorthodox, but I suppose I can stay open a bit later if they're really desperate..."
"E-Er no, it's nothing quite as complicated as that..." Rainbow gulped a little, wondering how well Twilight would take the real reason for their unscheduled visit.
Sensing perhaps that things didn't seem quite as urgent as they first appeared, Twilight's smile dropped a bit and she stated the next sentence brusquely with narrowed eyes. "So, what is it you do want me for, to the extent you disturbed me so late at night and damaged the structure of my castle getting in?"
"Well, it's like this, you see." Pinkie carried on blithely, unaware that perhaps the gravity of her situation was not mirrored in terms of importance by others. "There are these new pies for sale at Sugarcube Corner, and I'd like you to try them..."
At this point, Twilight's face began to resemble an active volcano, and Spike knew nothing could be done to stop it from erupting. He even did a little countdown on his claws to commemorate the occasion.
"1,2,3..."
"WHAT?!"
"Aanndd... there goes the lava."
........................................................
"Huh, well that was a total bust." Rainbow commented, as her and Pinkie Pie sped away from the castle as fast as their legs and wings could carry them.
"Not at all..." Pinkie beamed upwards at the pegasus, somehow going almost as quickly on land as Dash was in the sky. "Both Spike and Twilight said they loved the pies, right before they kicked us out."
"I hope you know the only reason they said that was to get rid of us..." Rainbow alleged, while rubbing her sore posterior. "Ouch, that smarts!!"
"What rubbish! How can you say that with a straight face?" Pinkie wondered seriously. "They clearly enjoyed my pies as much as I did! Didn't you see the happy look on their faces when they bit into them?"
"That was when we were on the verge of leaving, I think that's the actual reason they seemed so pleased..." Rainbow scowled, unwilling to admit defeat this early. "I want further proof those pies are going to be as well-liked as you claim. Do you think you can prove it?"
"Don't worry... 'further proof' you shall have! After all, it's just elementary, my dear Dashie!" Pinkie remarked, while pulling out an old deerstalker hat, a magnifying glass and a pipe that blew bubbles. "Next stop: the Everfree Forest!"
"E-Erm... why exactly are we going there?" For the second time that evening, Rainbow was slightly confused by Pinkie's odd choice of destination.
Pinkie's grin did not lose any of it's shine as she attempted to explain. "Well, first of all we're going to attempt to get some positive responses from the creatures that live there, and then we'll talk to Fluttershy too, if we have enough time. Not her bunny though... I hear he won't eat anything but the best salad, and he turns violent if he doesn't like what you give him. Clearly not someone we can entrust to formulate an opinion about such a great product. Come on then, off we go again. WHOOPEE!!"
And as Pinkie hopped away into the distance, Rainbow was beginning to regret not making out a will beforehoof, considering how she suspected the rest of the evening might pan out now.
As if 'I leave everything to Scootaloo' would need much paperwork, anyway.
..................................................................
And so it was, after a fun evening of running from Timberwolves, breaking & entering and almost getting arrested, that Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie rose to the glorious sight of Celestia's sun to reveal a most unusual sight, which was highly visible even from Pinkie's non-elevated habitation.
All around Ponyville, a queue the size of a sea serpent zig-zagged throughout town, a line that was even longer than the one which waited for special apple cider most years. And what wonderful attraction persuaded so many ponies to leave their comfortable beds at the crack of dawn? What unmissable event could convince them to come out in such huge numbers, laughing and joking while standing about in the cold?
Why, Sugarcube Corner of course, but there seemed to be something slightly different about it today. For one, it was absolutely shrouded in pink posters from top to bottom, the accompanying blurb boasting about something 'incredible' which had just been released. Another oddity was that the eatery had opened earlier than it'd ever been. Possibly to cope with extra demand, who knows?
Rubbing their eyes so they knew they weren't dreaming. Rainbow and Pinkie met up in the middle of town to gaze around in amazement at the multitude of excited faces. A lot of them were recognised by both mares as the ponies they met yesterday in the middle of their little 'cake survey', and then some. Applejack had bought her entire family along for the ride, Twilight and Spike were there with Starlight and even the entire Wonderbolt squad was grounded for once.
And this fabulous thingamajig they were all waiting so eagerly for? There it was, spelt out in white all over the front window display: PERFECT PINKIE PIES ON SALE NOW. MAXIMUM TWO PER CUSTOMER DUE TO DEMAND. MORE COMING SOON, WE SWEAR. PLEASE DON'T RIOT.
Rainbow didn't even bother to look down at her friend. She knew she'd been thoroughly trounced in their little contest, and that Pinkie had now locked onto her airborne form with gleaming eyes. Oh well, time to throw the towel and admit defeat, I guess. As a wise pony once said 'my confidence comes off as cocky, but it gives me the courage to fail...'
But just before she could languish in humiliating capitulation, who should approach them through the throngs but Mr Cake himself, waving frantically and looking for all the world like he'd just won the lottery. "I don't know what you two did yesterday, but to say the new Pinkie pies are a hit would be the biggest understatement of the year! I can't stay for long since we have customers stretching round several blocks just to get in, but I wanted to give you both a reward for doing such a great job of advertising our wares!"
"Me too?" Rainbow Dash asked in surprise, as Mr Cake produced two bags and hoofed them over to the pair.
"Well, I heard you're responsible for driving this insatiable crowd here just as much as Pinkie was, so I guess you deserve some form of renumeration too. Enjoy. I've got to rush back now, and as soon as you've said goodbye to your friend, Pinkie, we'd really appreciate some support here, if that's okay." And with those parting words, Mr Cake galloped off to leave them to their own devices.
"Well, what do you know. Maybe last night wasn't such a complete waste of time after all!" Rainbow remarked optimistically, staring down at her 'prize' and thanking Celestia for the unexpected interruption, which allowed her to save face on the ignominious occasion of Pinkie's victory.
"See what I mean when I told you 'no good deed goes unrewarded'?" Pinkie laughed a bit, before suddenly starting to sound a bit sad. "My only regret is because we hoofed out so many free samples yesterday, we didn't have any left over to keep for ourselves. We haven't gotten much chance of buying new pies for a while either, looking at the size of that queue. But as long as we made everypony else happy, that's okay I guess! Now, let's see what Mr Cake was so generous to give us... WOW!!"
A fresh batch of Pinkie pies greeted both ponies inside the bags, to one's sheer delight and one's absolute horror. Guess which was which.
Seeing Pinkie unflinchingly begin gulping down her selection like a vacuum cleaner though, Rainbow was beginning to have second thoughts about her initial reaction to the product. Everypony seems to love these things apart from me. Am I missing something here? Maybe I just got a bad batch? I better try another one just to be absolutely sure...
With the bravery of a soldier about to take an arrow for a colleague, Rainbow took the tiniest of little nibbles on a single pie, wondering if perhaps this could be the moment her mind could be changed irrevocably...
"PHOOEY!!"
Nope, just as gross as ever, she thought, before dropping her bag on the floor next to a still slobbering Pinkie.
"Here, you can have mine. I'm happy that your face is all over a product ninety nine percent of Ponyville seems to love, Pinkie. You deserve it, for all the laughter you've bought into their lives. But us one percenters I'm afraid are never going to be converted, and I'm still starving. I'll see you around, sometime..." were her final words, before she flew straight to Hayburger for a far more satisfying culinary experience.
"Hey Rainbow, you forgot your... oh well, it's too late now." Pinkie shouted up to her departing friend, who was now just a little blip in the horizon.
"I'll just have to give her the rest of her prize later, I suppose." She shrugged, referring to the thousand bits that lie at the bottom of the holdall underneath all the pies.
She knew this because she'd already swallowed a few of them in her haste to devour the deliciousness as quickly as possible.
They made a clinking noise in her tummy whenever she hiccuped, that she found hilarious. Of course, she'd still have to go to the doctor later on, possibly for a major operation...
...But for now she was happy, and immediately made a start on Rainbow's unwanted sweet treats, taking special care around the bits this time.
"MMM... TASTY!!"
Author's Note
Well, there we are folks, my longest one-shot ever. I took this idea and just ran with it, and it's consumed most of the last few days for me. I'm proud of what I've done here, and I hope your reaction to it is more 
than 
. Let me know what you think... bye for now. 
