Author's Note

What If... in the MLP movie 1017, instead of the pirates and skystar are in the cake, the drive the warthog and the warthog music from red vs blue is played and garble said "what the... The hack is that music!??!" Then the pony's new friends ride into battle and you know the rest of the movie

Huskylover does not know that I watch shockingly few things and normally stick to only my delusions. As usual I'm taking that title as literally as possible, typo included.

in the MLP movie 1017, instead of the pirates and skystar are in the cake, the drive the warthog and the warthog music from red vs blue is played and garble said "what the... The hack is that music!??!" Then the pony's new friends ride into

In the long-ago time of the year of our lord ~~Screwball~~ 1017, there was once a fairy tale told amongst the serfs of the land. A tale that told of magical equines--ones of the earth, of the sky, and of the arcane arts. This tale was called "mine smol horse".

And somehow in that same year, a freakin' movie was made from it.

Unnamed human #64291-89 sat on his log, staring at the shadow-puppets being projected onto the side of the wall. Here sat the first "brony" in recorded history.

Unnamed human #64291-89 walked away out of boredom. There goes the first "brony" in recorded history.

As for the 'movie' itself...

~~tbh I don't even remember the cake scene anymore I haven't thought about that movie in so long~~

~~and as veteran readers of this accursed anthology will know quite well by now, this means it's time for extremely inaccurate improv!~~

"Pinkie," Celestia smacked her dry lips. "Why is the cake swelling?"

Pinkie Pie looked at the cake. Then at Celestia. Then at the inconveniently-placed bust of the Storm King blocking the only exit from the room as a fleet of attack vessels loomed overhead.

"Dunno! I'll go pop the bubble."

See, Pinkie is a mare of her word. 'Honest Abe', she was called, even though nopony knew what the heck that second part of the nickname referred to. Still, being distantly related to Applejack ensured that if that Ponk ever told even the smallest fib, she would instantaneously implode to form a black hole that'd swallow Equestria in its entirety.

And so, true to her word, Pinkie popped the cake bubble.

Or at least, she tried to.

"Pinkie, why do I hear boss music?" Celestia hummed as she inhaled another cup of tea.

Garble, a dragon that I have no recollection of having ever existed, piped up from the corner of the room where he'd apparently been this entire time. "what the... The hack is that music!??!"

The spiritual form of Twilight materialized as a force ghost in front of Garble, pushing up her thick-rimmed glasses while flipping around a dictionary. "I believe you mean 'heck'."

She was then promptly pulled into the depths of Tartarus for the high crime of saying 'heck' in this Christian Minecraft server that is Equestria.

~~can you tell I'm writing this at 2:16:10 am~~

Whilst Garble was freaking out over the newly-formed hole drilling down into the underworld right in front of him, the music grew louder with every step Pinkie took towards the cake.

A single phrase rose from the cake as all suddenly fell silent.

"Tucker did it."

The cake burst open with violent ferocity as the portal that'd just happened to randomly open at its center spat out a buncha dudes in a funky-lookin' vehicle. They proceeded to ram the bust of the Storm King so hard that they sent it flying straight up with enough force to punch a hole clean through the real Storm King's flagship precisely where he stood, which then thanks to its momentum carried him up and out of the top of his attack ship and out of the planet's atmosphere, where thanks to the precise positioning of the moon because Luna decided today was a good day for a partial solar eclipse, was gravitationally slingshot away from the sun and out of the solar system into interstellar space where he continues to exist to this day as a freeze-dried husk clinging to a statue of himself.

Also Pinkie hitched a ride in the warthog and made friends with the crew kthxbai💥