What If...

"Sister."

Celestia glanced over the top of the bottle of barbecue sauce she was currently guzzling.

Luna placed a bottle of ketchup in front of her. "Please. Our nation's supplies of barbecue sauce are dangerously low. Would you please think of the poor ponies of Equestria whose barbecues are going sauceless?"

"And cause my own health to diminish? Neigh!" Celestia slammed the bottle down with a thunk on the table. "Don't you know that barbecue sauce contains essential nutrients that my body requires to function? Why do you think that you, a ketchup-drinker, are shorter than me, a glorious barbecue sauce drinker?"

Sweetie Giraffe loomed outside the window, a giant juicebox filled with nothing but mustard levitating in her magic as she trampled lower Canterlot with every step.