Baking Cupcakes

by NeevaDash

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Human
Length: 1821

Pinkamena makes her traditional meat cupcakes. What could go wrong?

Pinkamena makes her traditional meat cupcakes. What could go wrong?

Published 2017-10-05 01:40:12 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-05 01:40:12 UTC

Cupcakes!

Author's Note

This is random killer fluff I came up with outta nowhere. I don't ship PinkieDash by the way, but I sure as buck ship CupcakeFactory.

Cupcakes!

I took my oven mit and pulled out a fresh batch of cupcakes and then set them on the counter to cool. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can just call me Pinkamena. I was known under Pinkie Pie for a while, but eh, that name seems too silly. Only a few can call me that now! Wait, I'm getting off topic...

Anyway, I had cupcakes! Well, they're muffins right now, they're kinda naked... I swore, I just baked some cupcakes! My roommates must really love them. Especially Slendy, for someone with no mouth, he wolfs them down! Dashie loves them too, she ate like three last night with rainbow juice! Guess she was hungry... I'm surprised she didn't get sick all over the place! Wait, I'm going off topic again, not to mention that's gross!

The frosting was just about done anyway, so I could frost them soon! Then they'd be ready for everyone! I wish Dashie wasn't busy at work, I wanted her to have the first cupcake. I guess I'll just have to put one up for her. But waahh, they won't be fresh and warm! She probably needs something warm in her tummy anyway, there is only so many foods you can take to work!

You're probably wondering why I'm so concerned with Rainbow Dash anyway, she's one of my roommates, yes, and also an organ provider for when I didn't have any, yes. But she's also my girlfriend, silly! Why else would I give her the first cupcake?

"C'mon Dashie, just hurry up and come home..." I mumbled to myself. I knew she probably would be home late, the factory was quite busy today. She told me there were many failures to turn into rainbows today!

I guess I could call her, she's obviously really busy if she doesn't pick up, so it couldn't hurt. My phone was upstairs in the room we shared, so I'd have to use the landline unless I were to go upstairs. I decided to just call her using the house phone as it was easier for my position at the moment.

I dialed her numbered and anxiously listened to the dial tone before she finally picked up. "Slenderman?" she asked.

To be fair, Slendy was the only one who used the landline, as he believed modern phones were pure evil. I disagree! I can keep in contact with my friends, I could meet new ones, and play games! Oh, how I loved to play games! Getting off-topic again...

"Hi! I am Slenderman and I like stalking people." I took the chance to impersonate him, which make Dashie giggle, as it was obvious I'm not Slenderman.

I went on to ask when she was coming home and she said she was on her way home now. I was super excited! That would give me enough time to frost the cupcakes and she could get the first one! Oh how I love it when things work out without it turning to hell!

I greeted my girlfriend to a peck on the lips when she walked through the door. Her coat was covered in rainbow juice and her hair looked messy, she must have had a long day.

Before she could even say anything, I whipped out the cupcake I made just for her and held it out. "It's the first one, still warm!"

"Thanks, Pinkie." Dashie took the cupcake from my hand and gave it a nibble, and that soon turned into eating the entire thing. She must have been hungry!

She told me it tasted different, though, but still good. I was puzzled, my cupcakes always come out the same as long as I use the right meat from the right organs! I guess I might have done something wrong.

Wait, what if what I did wrong was deadly?! What if I killed her?! No, that's silly, she looked just fine to me. If it were deadly, I'm sure she would have gone into cardiac arrest by now.

Since it was apparently okay to eat, I decided to tell everyone else about the cupcakes. Ben Drowned came racing downstairs so he could have one. I've never seen him this excited over them! After Ben followed Jeff, Jane, Slendy and Sonic. They all seemed to enjoy the cupcakes! I was glad, I love making people smile! Almost as much as I love spilling blood.

I wanted a cupcake myself a few hours later, but I was on a Pinkie Diet! I was getting chubby, and well, you should never really trust a skinny cook, but I wouldn't be able to kill as well if I were fat! My own boobs might get in the way!

I declined myself a cupcake and went upstairs into my bedroom; Dashie was already asleep apparently, I didn't expect her to be this tired!

Turns out she wasn't asleep, I heard a groan from her head of rainbow hair when I sat down on my plump tush. I looked over at the lump in the blankets to see her holding her tummy and wincing. I wondered what was wrong.

"Don't shake the bed..." I heard her murmur to me. I think she was trying her best not to be sick. Poor Dashie!

"Did you eat something bad, Cupcake? Why does your tummy hurt?" I asked frantically, I didn't like seeing her ill. I've never really called her any names like 'honey' or 'sweetie' before either, I don't really know why I did it that time.

She nodded, then flipped around to look at me face to face. She looked real sick once I looked at her closer. I was a little scared, what could have made her so sick?

"The hell did you do to that cupcake?" she asked, answering my mental question. "I only had a sandwich today, that passed hours ago..."

I thought back to how I made the batch. I mixed the wet ingredients and the dry ingredients, and I added liver and stomach meat, and then I baked them! I didn't do anything differently, wait a minute. I don't remember cooking the meat. I froze up.

I had just served my roommates and my girlfriend uncooked meat. They probably all had food poisoning! It would be an epidemic! And I was the one to blame...

"I'm sorry Dashie. I know what I did wrong. I forgot to cook the meat which is making you sick. In fact, it's making everyone sick." I said in a dejected tone. I felt like a big meanypants.

My girlfriend sighed and put her head under the pillow, obviously upset with me, but it was clear she didn't have the energy to yell. She groaned again, which only made me feel worse.

"Who would be this stupid and not cook the meat! I made everyone sick!" I yelled as I took a squirrel and started to kill it. I knew killing animals with no number was wrong, but I needed to take my frustration out on something.

I sliced it down the stomach and took out its organs, I was too angry to properly do it. I basically just ripped them out, giving this squirrel a painful and hard death. I didn't even care, I was too mad at myself.

Squirrel blood dripped everywhere as I didn't bother to be gentle with mutilating the creature. I was covered in it, and so was the surface I killed it on. I wasn't going to make cupcakes out of this squirrel, I was just going to discard of the organs. I wish Dashie used the organs too, then I wouldn't have to figure out what to do with them! Wait a minute, Dashie...

I ran upstairs and found her vomiting into the toilet violently. I pat her on the back to ease it a bit, but I doubt she was too happy to see me, considering I did make her sick. I didn't really care though, she was my girlfriend and I loved her, I wanted to ease her pain if I could.

It was exactly two minutes before she stopped throwing up, and she looked at me with a scowl. "Are you happy with yourself, Pinkamena Diane Pie. I don't think I've ever been so sick in my entire life!" she yelled, she appparently was feeling a bit better after that.

I began to tear up. Being an evil bad guy murderer, I didn't cry much. I was used to seeing pain, but this was more than I could handle. Not to mention everyone else was sick too! Maybe not Sonic, he's sorta weird and eats old food a lot. His belly is probably used to it.

"N-no... I didn't mean to make you sick! I'm sorry..." My tears turned into full blown crying, which must have changed Dashie's mind quickly, as she began looking apologetic.

"I shouldn't have yelled, don't blame yourself. Everyone makes mistakes." She gave me a small hug to try and cheer me up. It worked a bit, but I still felt bad for making everyone ill. Which reminded me, why isn't everyone throwing up and freaking out?

I then realised only Sonic was in the house with us. Knowing Slendy, he got the littlest bit sick and called an ambulance, dragging everyone else with him. Well, not Dashie, duh, I'm here consoling her! And Sonic was probably not sick in the first place...

Before I knew it, Dashie was back in bed, lying on her back. She looked a little better, but not all the way. I decided to ask her if she was feeling any better at all.

"About twenty percent better. I'll live, don't worry about me too much."

I was happy to know Dashie was better, I didn't like seeing her sick. Well, technically she still was sick, but she looked okay at least. It's hard to get to sleep with a stomachache though, it literally doesn't ease up no matter which way you turn. I needed to help her sleep somehow...

An idea just kablammed me right in the face! I'd read her favourite book aloud for her, well technically it was her favourite book series, but whatever, I had a Rainbow Dash to read to!

I put on my red reading glasses and reached into Dashie's drawer, pulling out Daring Do and the Curse of the Pharaoh's Tomb. I began reading it to her.

She didn't even question my actions, she just listened to the story until she fell asleep, which didn't take long, her long day plus puking must have taken it out of her! Literally!

I planted a little kiss on her cheek and smiled. "Sleep well, Cupcake."