100% Medically Accurate
That was the tagline that adorned the DVD case in front of Rainbow Dash. The image of what appeared to be a human crawling up a glass door was eye-catching, to say the least, and gave the athletic mare a vibe she seldom felt when it came to horror movies. The title also caught her eye, as it immediately made her wonder if this would finally be the film that got Fluttershy to watch more horror movies with her.
“The Human Centipede,” she said to herself quietly. She picked up the case and skimmed the back of it. “Hmm… a mad doctor and some experiments.” She held onto the case and looked at the assortment of other films that adorned the wall. Everything from films that no doubt had budgets, to ones that were assembled via looking between the cushions on the directors couch, and films from that were churned out by the some of the biggest studios in Applewood—and with price tags that made Rainbow question if the suits who fund those movies value their money.
More often than not, she came to the conclusion that they didn't.
But, while a hoof full of the movies caught her eye, none of them were quite as attention grabbing, nor did they pique her interest the way The Human Centipede did, a fact that made Rainbow all the more excited to watch it.
So, with a large smile, she walked to the front of the store and handed the cashier the DVD.
“Huh…” The cashier looked at Rainbow as a smirk formed on his face. “So, she who can't be scared is finally renting The Human Centipede?”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “What? This some sorta super scary movie or somethin’?”
“You could say that.” The cashier rang up Rainbow before he placed the DVD into a bag. “Enjoy.”
Rainbow grabbed the bag and handed the cashier the money. “I will!” she said excitedly. She walked out the door with a large smile, eager to watch the movie with Fluttershy.
“Okay, are you ready?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Fluttershy sat on the bed in her pitch black bedroom. The blinds had been shut and she was under a pink blanket, which she'd pulled up to cover the majority of her face. Although her hair usually did a pretty good job of that, she felt she needed security today.
“I… I guess,” Fluttershy said. “W-what are we watching tonight?”
“Well, I went to the video store earlier today and checked high and low for something scary!” Rainbow hopped onto the bed and sat beside her friend. “Most of the movies seemed lame though, like something called The Last House on the Left.”
“Oh, my dad watched that one with my mom,” Fluttershy said. “She said he was in the bathroom for ten minutes after it ended.”
“Huh… didn't think your dad had a weak stomach,” Rainbow said. She turned on the television, which illuminated the room. “But the movie I got sounded like something you'd enjoy!”
Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. “Now are you just saying that or do you mean it?” she asked in as stern of a voice as the timid mare could muster.
“Well… I mean, it sounds like something you'd enjoy,” Rainbow said sheepishly. “It's called The Human Centipede.”
Fluttershy lowered the blanket slightly. “That sounds… kind of okay, I guess,” she said with a hint of relief. “What's it about?”
“I dunno. I hadn't heard of it until today,” Rainbow replied. “Let's find out though!” With a smile, she pressed play—and the film began.
Ninety-two minutes had past.
The film had ended.
The credits had rolled.
And the two mares both stared blankly at the television. They were both in awe at what they'd just witnessed.
Or would the better word be experienced? It was hard for either mare to really know. Their senses had been assaulted six ways from Sunday. The indescribable horrors they watched transpire on screen weren't like anything they'd ever seen.
In fact, Rainbow Dash had only heard about films like this in the comment section of YouTube, but she figured that it was just hyperbole.
But, now she knew: it wasn't. They were right.
“That was the worst film I've ever seen!” Rainbow shouted, which made Fluttershy nearly fall off of the bed. “Like… what the hell was that!?”
“I… I don't know if it was that bad,” Fluttershy said. Her eyes were red from crying out of fear, which ended up being almost the entire film, save for the first twenty seconds or so. “I mean, it wasn't good, but it-”
“Fluttershy.” Rainbow rested a hoof on her friend's shoulder. “Did you forget what you said to me after about fifteen minutes?”
Fluttershy tapped her chin and thought for a bit before she shook her head. “What was it?”
“You turned to me and said with no emotion, ‘This movie is the dumbest piece of trash I've ever watched with you, and that's counting Birdemic’,” Rainbow said. “I must say, I didn't think you had it inside you to be so harsh.”
Fluttershy gasped. “I said that?”
Rainbow nodded. “Then you hid under the blankets and cried.”
Fluttershy blushed. “Well… the doctor was scary,” she said. “I mean, you saw what he did, right?”
Rainbow chuckled. “I think the better question is: did you see what he did? You were under the blankets for almost the entire thing!”
Fluttershy folded her arms. “I was cold.”
“Fluttershy, it's the middle of July.” Rainbow stated flatly.
“Oh…”
Rainbow playfully punched her friends shoulder. “Well, don't worry, I'll return the movie tomorrow and we can get something that you'd like to watch, alright?”
Fluttershy nodded happily. “So, are you going to sleep now?”
“Yeah, I need it,” Rainbow said. “That movie took the energy right out of me.*
“Okay. Good night.” Fluttershy snuggled under blankets and, within a few minutes, fell fast asleep.
The next day, Rainbow arrived back at her local video store, movie rested under her wing and the urge to turn it into a frisbee inside of her at an all-time high. She walked into the store, at which point a familiar face turned and smirked as he saw the athletic mare’s face.
“So, I take it you didn't like it?” the cashier asked as he tried to contain his laughter.
“No!” Rainbow snapped. She resisted the urge to slam the DVD onto the counter and, after a few deep breaths, placed it in the return box. “I hated it!”
“Oh, that's a shame,” the cashier said. “I brought in my copies of the sequels to give to you.”
Rainbow paused. She turned her head slowly to the cashier, her eyes as wide as the tires on a monster truck and her mouth agape.
The cashier chuckled. “You did look at the title, right?” he asked.
Rainbow slowly shook her head.
The cashier grabbed the DVD. He placed his hoof near the title of the movie. “It's called The Human Centipede: The First Sequence.”
“Oh…”
“Figured you noticed that when you picked it up.” The cashier placed the DVD back into the return box. “So, wanna see how much better the sequels are?”
"Rainbow, are you sure you want to do this?” Fluttershy asked, worried. “I mean, you said you'd get something I wanted to watch this time.”
“C'mon, Flutters,” Rainbow said as she held a bottle of knockout beside the bed. “They can't be worse than the first one, right?”
One hundred and ninety-three minutes later
Rainbow took out her cellphone. The knockout pills she had in standby covered the floor after a scuffle she had with Fluttershy about twenty-five minutes into the second film. Her eyes were filled with rage she didn't think she was capable of feeling, and her coat was drenched in tears. She impatiently waited until a voice came from the other end.
“Evening, Rainbow,” the cashier said. “How goes it?”
“You owe my friend therapy,” Rainbow yelled. She looked back at Fluttershy, who was curled up in a fetal position in the corner of her bedroom. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had a small wall of stuffed animals around her, along with a box of tissues. She placed her phone onto Fluttershy's bed and turned the speaker on.
“Fair enough,” the cashier said. “What else did you-”
WHAM! WHAM!
A deafening silence filled the air for several seconds, until the cashier spoke up.
“I’m not getting those DVDs back, am I Rainbow?”
“Nope!” Rainbow threw a hammer behind her. “Sorry.”
