Equestria's Greatest Moment: A Compilation of the Stories of the Brave Ponies Who Fought In the Face of Overwhelming Oddsby PhilosophysicsChaptersPrefaceEntry #1: For the Mare Who Took the Place of the PrincessEntry #2: For the Mare Who Sang RainbowsEntry #4: For the Teacher Who LedPrefaceDuring the days of the Storm King’s short reign, there was a large rebellion that led several notable attacks against him, biding time for the Bearers of Harmony to gather reinforcements for one final large attack. While our being conquered was admittedly a dark time, I believe it was also one of our best times, with ponies of every race, every class, and every age working together against a common foe. Little to no fatalities occurred despite all the reports that I am still recieving days after the final battle. I have decided to attempt to compile all the stories into a little book for publication. What you are currently reading is the preface. I’ve always been a firm believer in organic writing and never erasing one’s thoughts. Thank the Princesses I don’t write much. What follows is the speech broadcasted over the speakers from the interrupted Festival of Friendship that had been occurring at the start of the Storm King’s invasion. It occured on the day after when the enslavement first began. It was broadcasted through all of Canterlot and only Canterlot. The quaint story that it reached all of Equestria is but a story and it is remarkably improvised and rushed. Perhaps given time, it could have been a tad bit more inspiring, but we can only assume the speaker was in a rush due to the bombs he had placed for his escape. Despite the less than flawless speech and deliverance, it did serve its purpose over the coming days of rebellion. Stereotypes are born from the instinct and need to categorize things. Fire is hot and burns things, water is wet and puts out fire, oh no, the house is on fire, must get water to put it out.. Simple things like that. It’s really quite useful. This categorization works quite well with nature and inanimate objects. For living things however? It is quite inadequate. Dragons are ferocious, territorial beings. True for many of them, but I know of a dragon assistant very much trusted by all the Princesses, the Crystal Empire, and myself though I may not show it. In fact, Fillydelphia has recently become a place where you can see dragons working amongst ponies. Changelings are backstabbing lovesuckers. They did recently invade Equestria, twice I might add, but they’ve put in a lot of work and effort to become better. In fact, I recently had a tea with their king and he was a benevolent enough person if a bit naive. I could go on and on, but seeing as this is a book about ponies, I shall now go into depth about the many, many, many stereotypes about ponies. We are weak.(Patently untrue.) Very specialized due to our Cutie Marks.(I have a whole damn section just to explain exactly what a Cutie Mark really is, what it used to be called, AND WHAT IT ACTUALLY REPRESENTS AND DOES!) Naive.(Changelings are born the perfect infiltrators. Literally shapeshifting minutes after they are born.) Scare easily.(Some. Some. Tartarus damn it. SOME!) Stupid.(...Earth ponies have an innate understanding of how nature works and animal psychology, pegasi have part time jobs making weather, and to teleport, a medium level skill for unicorns, one must have a faint idea of how the flipping fuckets the universe works. No. We are not stupid.) Silly.(Nothing to say in defense here.) Namby pamby(Faust’s tits, why is this still a thing!? One of our greatest generals was named this and he was anything but that!) And my personal favorite. My absolute personal favorite. Did I mention how favorite this last one is? Because I sure as hell fucking do. We are pushovers. You can’t see me laughing, so I’ll make sure to be extra loud. *Sounds of laughter* Ponies are not pushovers. We forgive much and we forgive a lot, but we are not pushovers. We have survived the living embodiment of chaos, Discord, in his tantrums a millenia back when he was at his most powerful. We killed an entire species that fed on hatred, ie the windigoes, by killing our hatred. We settled in the middle of the WildLands, that land no other species would touch on account of how wild and uncontrolled the magic wasa, and pushed it back into a little section called the Everfree Forest. WE BUILT A FREAKING CASTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND TOSSED IT WHEN OUR LEADERS HAD A SIBLING FIGHT! Our Princesses move the sun and moon and we have conquered the Frozen North through the power of love. One of our jobs that we peddle to our kids is to be a weatherpony, and not the kind where you predict the weather, BUT THE KIND WHERE YOU FUCKING MAKE IT! We teach our kids how best to protect yourselves against cockatrices, manticores, and a whole crap ton of things. The older we get, the more powerful our magic becomes. On average, the average pony lives about 300-500 years. We have survived a millennia and have built an empire on the WildLands that no one but we could have tamed. And you think you can conquer us? Little known fact, assfuck. Back in the old days, we were conquered all the time. Each and every time, we would pass word to all the villages and have a Festival. No seriously, that’s what they called it. Just Festival. Nothing else. In the old days, our enemies remember it under a number of names. It is called Exsterno, or stampede by the Griffons. The Running Death the buffalos called it. The yaks remember it simply as the Sound. Dragons? Well… They just call it, the Long End. Fun fact, the DragonLands wasn’t always the perpetual wasteland of lava and stone it was. And that was before the Princesses came in and defended us. Hell, it was before the three pony races decided to stop hating each other and start doing cool crap together like this Festival of Friendship you so rudely interrupted. We ponies like our festivals. Seeing as you trashed one, I think it’s time we bring back one and trash yours. If all you ponies would allow me to kickstart the festivities with a little speech, I would be happy to oblige. *Long silence* I’m going to assume that’s a yes. Why thank you for this tremendous honor. *Cough* Welcome fellow Equestrians to the Festival! It has been more than one thousand years since the last one has happened, but it’s never too late to start again! *Silence* You were supposed to laugh. Oh well. I’ll cut to the chase. I know you’re scared. You’re terrified. Equestria hasn’t fought a real war in a long time. But that doesn’t matter. Right now, you are muzzled. You are chained. You are enslaved to this idiotic ponce who thinks that we will roll over just like that. And he’s right. We’ve rolled over. We got pushed. We got shoved. We are on the fucking ground, lying and wallowing in our despair and defeat. Quite frankly, I’m disgusted. Our ancestors had a festival when this happened. When they got invaded, they had a damn festival. They would gather up, get good food and drink, and then just fight like the ponies they were. They’re gone, but they’ve left us. Alone, we’re just an earth pony. We’re just a pegasus. We’re just a unicorn. Together? We do great things. We can all be alicorns working together. And a festival is a gathering of all of us, at our best selves, at our best moments. The Festival of Friendship isn’t over. It’s only just begun. *Silence* Oh crap, I forgot! The runes! AH! It’s going to- *BOOM!* ...Definitely not my best moment. Prince Blueblood the Fifty Second First Diplomat of Equestria Proud Participant of the Festival Entry #1: For the Mare Who Took the Place of the PrincessThough I began these records of our rebellion with my sub-par speech, it is another that I feel should take credit for giving the rebellion a fighting chance And no. It is not the Bearers of Harmony. The true hero of our story lies with an often forgotten pegasus. I refuse to let her fall to the wayside of history as so many other unknown heroes such as her have and approached her many times to give her side of the story. All she would say is that she did what anypony else would have. She would not say more beyond that, blushing adorably before shoving a muffin into my mouth and taking off straight into a wall,collapsing it. In all fairness, it was an excellent muffin. Nevertheless, I refused to be distracted and spoke with a number of ponies who were there that day. There were so many ponies willing to speak of the event that I regretfully had to cut out many. In the end, I made copies of them to send to the mare in question and have selected only two, in my humble opinion, the two that matter most, to put into this book. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife is a silly pony at times. She always smiles and though she often makes mistakes, she never hesitates to try again. It’s why I love her. I’m proud of her. Also irrevocably angered. The first thing she does after the Princesses get frozen in stone is to join them. I don’t care if she saved all of Equestria with that act, you could have died, Dearest Heart! Why couldn’t you have flown off course like every other time? I could only watch you fly straight and push Princess Twilight Sparkle out of the way. ...I almost gave up you know, seeing your face frozen. But… I couldn’t give up. Because you didn’t. You never gave up. I love you, Dearest Heart. I hope you know that, love. … This is going to be published right? They’re going to know that my wife is the one who saved Equestria right? … Good. She deserves it and more. You know how I said they were accounts? Well, I may have exagerrated a tad bit. The story is quite simple. During the initial attack, one brave mare swooped in and saved the remaining alicorn Princess from the fate of our three rulers, giving us enough time to prepare for the Festival. This is really more notes of how that impacted the lives of Equestria. Spoiler: It’s enough for you to be considered for the Eclipse Medal, a newly designed medal dedicated to undistinguished service, both civil and military, for Equestria. To achieve it, all four alicorns must agree to award it. And I use considered in that context very loosely. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My mom was taking me along the festival when the big ships came down from the sky. Everything was loud and expodyn. Eplidi. Expodinga. Everything was loud and going boom, but mommy picked me up and flew me to daddy. We were going to run away and hide, but mommy saw Mrs. Sparkle about to get hit by those scary orbs. She hugged me once before she flew in front of the bad pony. And then she turned to stone. Daddy hugged me and we ran away. I think I remember screaming. I don’t care what anypony else says! My mom isn’t stupid and she’s a hero! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my defense, Ditzy Doo, I did ask you to give your side of the story. I hope you received the filing cabinet full of thank you letters from around Equestria. I daresay if it weren’t for you, our rebellion may never have succeeded. Oh and Auntie Celly tells me that you’re invited to the Grand Galloping Gala with three tickets. You should go. I’ve seen the guest list and it actually looks like it’s going to be fun. PS: Should you and yours ever need help, do not be afraid to ask the House of Blood. Author's Note Kind of a short one. Not much to do. I mean Ditzy Doo only took the place of Twilight. But in doing that, she did so much for Equestria. In the end, the greatest acts often take a split second to do. It's effect is astounding though. Entry #2: For the Mare Who Sang RainbowsHeartsong is one of the fundamentals of harmony. When a pony feels a surge of emotion or wants to spread an idea, they will sing. Singing is one of the many ways that ponies use to spread ideas and incite cooperation. It’s why we work together better when there’s music. It gives us a rhythm, a beat to follow. Music is a core aspect of our lives as Equestrians. What most don’t realize is how core it is. A sad song makes others feel sad. A happy song makes us feel happy. The right song at the right moment can drive us to do great things… Or it can be the thing that pushes a pony down the wrong path. Cause a group to falter in a quest. Be the end of a revolution. Heartsong is not just song. Singing affects your soul and the soul of others. If you feel defeated, you can spread despair like nothing else in your cries. Cry a tear and a river will flow at the end of your lamented tragedy. Thankfully for us, the right song at the right moment pushed us. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Imprisoned in their cages, the ponies stood sullenly in their cages. Pegasi had their wings bound, unicorns were caged in bars that withstood their strongest blasts, and the earth ponies carried unneeded burdens so that they were weighed down. The Storm King soldier’s picked and chose their favorites as their servants, having them dance and sing and do tasks for them. Treated better than slaves with no punishment, the knowledge that they had been defeated was a heavier sting on the soul than any whip. Most of the ponies were muzzled, letting only muted sobs drift in the air as the behemoth soldiers rested. The only ones unmuzzled were the singers, caged to sing like the nightingales they were seen as. Equestria was conquered in less than a day and as the conquered… The conquered served the conquerors as was always done. Nothing could be done And so they trudged through their life, listlessly doing their given tasks, and listened to the dull silence of a soft, sweet voice drifting into the air… I know you, you're a special one Some see crazy where I see love You fall so low but shoot so high Slightly strained as though the singer was singer louder than necessary, the song did its purpose nevertheless, entertaining the Storm King Soldiers. The serving ponies brought out more food and drink for the Storm King. Big dreamers shoot for open sky So much life in those open eyes So much depth, you look for the light But when your wounds open, you will cry You'll cry out now and you'll question why Unnoticed to the celebrating guards though, aa beat was forming to accompany the otherwise instrumental-less song. Each step by the chained ponies doing their tasks were in unison. Pata. Pata. Ponpata. Pata. Pon pata. Pata. Pata. Ponpata. I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out Cliched as it was, some ponies did shed tears as they remembered painful moments, moments where they were lost or broken, moments when they were alone and weak. But they also remembered the moments where they became better, where friends and family came to pick them up. I am here and I see your pain Through the storms, through the clouds, the rain I'm telling you you cannot escape You can do it, just feel baby Continuing their commands with their heads held just a little bit higher, each pony endeavored to look at one another in the eyes. The need to know that they weren’t alone in this nightmarous situation gave them strength to push on. I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out Some ponies looked up aand were disappointed to see the storm clouds in the sky. Those same ponies gasped softly when a few of the free pegasai took the liberty to cause the clouds to drizzle softly. The soldiers immediately growled in warning, but the setup was complete. Here comes the sun Smiling down Here comes the sun Smiling down Here comes the sun Smiling down Smiling down The caged unicorns shot harmless beams of light into the air and had their cages rattled in response by the soldiers. I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground Rainbows blossomed in the small drizzle. I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out The Storm King soldiers snarled, angry at something. Something they could not understand. Why go through all this trouble to make a rainbow? Did these ponies not know they were conquered? The behemoth soldiers looked dat the muzzled ponies and scratched their heads as they tried to understand. The ponies looked defeated. Chained, muzzled, and caged, how could they look anything but conquered? I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground And yet as the rain started up again, lights shot into the sky, and that steady pounding continued… It did not feel as the ponies were defeated. I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out All the while, a white pegasus continued to sing, bangs lowered to hide her growing smile as she sang hope again. Second verse, same as the first. Thank you Songlight Serenade for keeping our hopes up with that song. As before, tickets have been sent to the Grand Galloping Gala. Entry #4: For the Teacher Who LedTeachers are one of the most important positions out there. Terrible ones simply have their students learn the information before sending them off into the world. Good ones expand students horizons and inspire them to be more than what they could be. And the best ones? The best ones are those indistinguishable from family. Holding you when you cry, supporting you in your failures and successes, and being the shield for you in your worst times. More often than not, they are the ones who turn what the troublemakers of youth into the greatest ponies they can be and more. They are the ones who take what any sane being would write off as a failure and guide them to greatness. I’ve been told that Tempest Shadow took great pride in the fact that there was no casualties in her invasion. I find it darkly humorous that she herself almost broke her own achievement though. And on one of the best teachers I will ever have the priviledge to know, no less. The following is an interview between myself and an unnamed student. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ms. Cheerilee’s okay, right? … Oh. Yeah. Silly question I guess. I mean my class is going to go visit her tomorrow, so she’s obviously fine and the papers did say that there were no casualties or heavy injuries. ...What? I can read! You got a problem with me reading the papers? … Yeah. That’s right. I read the papers and I keep up to date! Got to stay in the know! Better than half those idiots screaming out about how the Princesses don’t exist. Sun and moon, I have to deal with those idiots walking to school. … Um… I go to the School for Gifted Unicorns. Can’t you see the horn? … There’s only the one in Canterlot, isn’t there? … ...Your head’s bleeding. Oh? You don’t care? You sure? Okay! Okay! I’ll stop asking! So me and a bunch of my friends are walking around, right? I mean the Festival of Friendship just started and nopony ever pays attention in class especially when the biggest party in Equestria is literally going on in town. But the parental figures don’t want the kids scampering ‘round right? So the teachers offer to babysit for the first day. Normally, I would say that sucked because me and my friends wanted to go ste- go steeple some roofs. Steeple can be a verb. And you don’t know that my friends aren’t pegasi! We weren’t going to steal some alc- alkaline batteries! You can’t use this in court! … Oh, uh… you don’t care? Sorry. Sorry. Anyways, me and my friends wanted to hang out, but the teachers had to babysit us. Come on! We walk by ourselves to school and home, we can handle a festival by ourselves. But yeah. The kids who parents didn’t want around got shunted off to the daycare, we were milling around, snacking on home lunches, doing activities that we didn’t really want to do, when BAM! This storm cloud comes out of nowhere! AIrships start landing everywhere and these huge monkey goat things come out. They got these null shields and blasting them doesn’t work, so the teachers start panicking until this one purple earth pony slams the ground hard enough to crater it! Like no joke. It would have been pretty badass to crack it, but she fucking CRATERS IT! Like big enough that I could lie in it and sleep. And everypony just looks at this mare because one does not simply just not look at the mare who freaking craters the ground. Then this mare looks around, and you better bucking believe I memorized this, and shouts. You should do something. Like her speech is to amazing to be in mere quotation marks. What in Tartarus are you doing!? Equestria’s being invaded and this is what you do!? What happened to all those boasts about being amazing teachers? Eh? What happened to them!? I’m ashamed for you. Your teachers! We’re teachers! Students look up to us. They trust us! You panic and the students panic! Our jobs as teachers is to teach and protect! So Discord help me, protect the students, damn it! She was so badass. Get this! After her awesome speech, she smiles like she didn’t just yell at the “best” teachers in Equestria to get their horseapples together. Instead,she tells all of us to get in line, that we were going on a little walk, and that we were going to sing a song and that we could call her Ms. Cheerilee or Ms. Cheers if we wanted to. It was kind of hilarious. There’s an invasion going on, everypony’s scared out of their minds, and then she just treats an evacuation as though we were going on a field trip. You know what? It bucking worked. This one colt that always cried when a teacher glared at him actually started smiling and singing along to the song that Ms. Cheers was singing as we walked out of the main courtyard in single file line. My teachers were all sniffing and disapproving and we were scared, butMs. Cheers seemed like she knew what she was doing, and the song was fun to sing. Ooh! Let me sing it for you! When you're rife with devastation There's a simple explanation: You're a toymaker's creation Trapped inside a crystal ball And whichever way he tilts it Know that we must be resilient We won't let them break our spirits As we sing this silly song When I was a little filly, a galloping blaze overtook my city So they shipped me off to the orphanage. Said, "ditch those roots if you wanna fit in" So I dug one thousand holes and cut a rug with orphan foals Memories are blurred, and their faces are obscured, but I still, know the words to this song When you've bungled all your bangles And your loved ones have been mangled Listen to the jingle jangle Of my gypsy tambourine 'Cause these chords are hypnotizing And the whole world's harmonizing So please children stop your crying And just sing along with me Anyways, we sing the song, we follow Ms. Cheerilee like we’re on a field trip, except you know, stuff’s on fire and we have to sneak through the alleyways, but it was fun and like an adventure. It was hilarious to see Mr. [REDACTED] get all freaked out over the mice when we had to sneak through the sewage system. Did you know that our sewage system actually goes directly to the magical power plant to burn for energy? Eventually, we made it back to SGU(School For Gifted Unicorn) All the fillies and colts got shoved into the classrooms and we got told to be quiet with the teachers watching us. So obviously we started talking about what was going on, what we were going to do. The teachers were looking less panick-y but they still seemed unsure. Especially when the goat monkey soldiers start marching into the couryard. Everypony instantly got to the corners. Even me. Yeah. I was scared. I admit it. Everypony else was. Want to know who wasn’t? Ms. Bucking Cheerilee! She gets a chair with both hooves, stands to the side of the only door to the classroom, and when that ugly soldier leans its stinking head in, she freaking whacks it marbles out and breaks the chair on the head! Then she goes to steal the spear, holding it with her teeth and start stabbing the next one right back out. And the next. Sometimes she whacked them until the spear broke and then she just freaking tackles them and wrestles them to steal the spear! Sometimes she even straight up just got the shield and bashed them! Old Mr. [REDACTED] and them even got in on the action, shooting magic blasts, but Ms. Cheerilee was definitely the MVP! Sun and Moon, she suplexed one of them! And then Tempest Shadow comes in! Like she’s standing in the courtyard and- ... What? We’re done! But we were getting to the awesome part! … It wasn’t scary! … Okay, maybe a little scary, but she’s fine now! … Fine. Why you giving me a lollipop!? I ain’t some little filly! … Okay, I do like lollipops… I’m only taking it because I like them. And not because I’m a little filly. … I’m going to get bigger, ****** … Oh. I’ll tell Ms. Cheerilee you said hi. Ah… That was a fun interview. Rarely do I get such brutal honesty. A colorful perspective from a colorful student on a colorful incident. Apologies. Could not resist the wordplay. There is more to Ms. Cheerilee’s story, but I wish to get a more… adult perspective on that part of the story. Sadly, all the adults in the story are currently in the hospital right now. … Why do I always do these things to myself? Author's Note Inspired by Wishy Wish's AMAZING STORY! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/388824/mrs-robinsons-stand Seriously. GO READ MS. CHEERILEE BEING AWESOME ANDD BADASS! I am unashamed to admit that I shed manly tears.
PrefaceDuring the days of the Storm King’s short reign, there was a large rebellion that led several notable attacks against him, biding time for the Bearers of Harmony to gather reinforcements for one final large attack. While our being conquered was admittedly a dark time, I believe it was also one of our best times, with ponies of every race, every class, and every age working together against a common foe. Little to no fatalities occurred despite all the reports that I am still recieving days after the final battle. I have decided to attempt to compile all the stories into a little book for publication. What you are currently reading is the preface. I’ve always been a firm believer in organic writing and never erasing one’s thoughts. Thank the Princesses I don’t write much. What follows is the speech broadcasted over the speakers from the interrupted Festival of Friendship that had been occurring at the start of the Storm King’s invasion. It occured on the day after when the enslavement first began. It was broadcasted through all of Canterlot and only Canterlot. The quaint story that it reached all of Equestria is but a story and it is remarkably improvised and rushed. Perhaps given time, it could have been a tad bit more inspiring, but we can only assume the speaker was in a rush due to the bombs he had placed for his escape. Despite the less than flawless speech and deliverance, it did serve its purpose over the coming days of rebellion. Stereotypes are born from the instinct and need to categorize things. Fire is hot and burns things, water is wet and puts out fire, oh no, the house is on fire, must get water to put it out.. Simple things like that. It’s really quite useful. This categorization works quite well with nature and inanimate objects. For living things however? It is quite inadequate. Dragons are ferocious, territorial beings. True for many of them, but I know of a dragon assistant very much trusted by all the Princesses, the Crystal Empire, and myself though I may not show it. In fact, Fillydelphia has recently become a place where you can see dragons working amongst ponies. Changelings are backstabbing lovesuckers. They did recently invade Equestria, twice I might add, but they’ve put in a lot of work and effort to become better. In fact, I recently had a tea with their king and he was a benevolent enough person if a bit naive. I could go on and on, but seeing as this is a book about ponies, I shall now go into depth about the many, many, many stereotypes about ponies. We are weak.(Patently untrue.) Very specialized due to our Cutie Marks.(I have a whole damn section just to explain exactly what a Cutie Mark really is, what it used to be called, AND WHAT IT ACTUALLY REPRESENTS AND DOES!) Naive.(Changelings are born the perfect infiltrators. Literally shapeshifting minutes after they are born.) Scare easily.(Some. Some. Tartarus damn it. SOME!) Stupid.(...Earth ponies have an innate understanding of how nature works and animal psychology, pegasi have part time jobs making weather, and to teleport, a medium level skill for unicorns, one must have a faint idea of how the flipping fuckets the universe works. No. We are not stupid.) Silly.(Nothing to say in defense here.) Namby pamby(Faust’s tits, why is this still a thing!? One of our greatest generals was named this and he was anything but that!) And my personal favorite. My absolute personal favorite. Did I mention how favorite this last one is? Because I sure as hell fucking do. We are pushovers. You can’t see me laughing, so I’ll make sure to be extra loud. *Sounds of laughter* Ponies are not pushovers. We forgive much and we forgive a lot, but we are not pushovers. We have survived the living embodiment of chaos, Discord, in his tantrums a millenia back when he was at his most powerful. We killed an entire species that fed on hatred, ie the windigoes, by killing our hatred. We settled in the middle of the WildLands, that land no other species would touch on account of how wild and uncontrolled the magic wasa, and pushed it back into a little section called the Everfree Forest. WE BUILT A FREAKING CASTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND TOSSED IT WHEN OUR LEADERS HAD A SIBLING FIGHT! Our Princesses move the sun and moon and we have conquered the Frozen North through the power of love. One of our jobs that we peddle to our kids is to be a weatherpony, and not the kind where you predict the weather, BUT THE KIND WHERE YOU FUCKING MAKE IT! We teach our kids how best to protect yourselves against cockatrices, manticores, and a whole crap ton of things. The older we get, the more powerful our magic becomes. On average, the average pony lives about 300-500 years. We have survived a millennia and have built an empire on the WildLands that no one but we could have tamed. And you think you can conquer us? Little known fact, assfuck. Back in the old days, we were conquered all the time. Each and every time, we would pass word to all the villages and have a Festival. No seriously, that’s what they called it. Just Festival. Nothing else. In the old days, our enemies remember it under a number of names. It is called Exsterno, or stampede by the Griffons. The Running Death the buffalos called it. The yaks remember it simply as the Sound. Dragons? Well… They just call it, the Long End. Fun fact, the DragonLands wasn’t always the perpetual wasteland of lava and stone it was. And that was before the Princesses came in and defended us. Hell, it was before the three pony races decided to stop hating each other and start doing cool crap together like this Festival of Friendship you so rudely interrupted. We ponies like our festivals. Seeing as you trashed one, I think it’s time we bring back one and trash yours. If all you ponies would allow me to kickstart the festivities with a little speech, I would be happy to oblige. *Long silence* I’m going to assume that’s a yes. Why thank you for this tremendous honor. *Cough* Welcome fellow Equestrians to the Festival! It has been more than one thousand years since the last one has happened, but it’s never too late to start again! *Silence* You were supposed to laugh. Oh well. I’ll cut to the chase. I know you’re scared. You’re terrified. Equestria hasn’t fought a real war in a long time. But that doesn’t matter. Right now, you are muzzled. You are chained. You are enslaved to this idiotic ponce who thinks that we will roll over just like that. And he’s right. We’ve rolled over. We got pushed. We got shoved. We are on the fucking ground, lying and wallowing in our despair and defeat. Quite frankly, I’m disgusted. Our ancestors had a festival when this happened. When they got invaded, they had a damn festival. They would gather up, get good food and drink, and then just fight like the ponies they were. They’re gone, but they’ve left us. Alone, we’re just an earth pony. We’re just a pegasus. We’re just a unicorn. Together? We do great things. We can all be alicorns working together. And a festival is a gathering of all of us, at our best selves, at our best moments. The Festival of Friendship isn’t over. It’s only just begun. *Silence* Oh crap, I forgot! The runes! AH! It’s going to- *BOOM!* ...Definitely not my best moment. Prince Blueblood the Fifty Second First Diplomat of Equestria Proud Participant of the Festival
Entry #1: For the Mare Who Took the Place of the PrincessThough I began these records of our rebellion with my sub-par speech, it is another that I feel should take credit for giving the rebellion a fighting chance And no. It is not the Bearers of Harmony. The true hero of our story lies with an often forgotten pegasus. I refuse to let her fall to the wayside of history as so many other unknown heroes such as her have and approached her many times to give her side of the story. All she would say is that she did what anypony else would have. She would not say more beyond that, blushing adorably before shoving a muffin into my mouth and taking off straight into a wall,collapsing it. In all fairness, it was an excellent muffin. Nevertheless, I refused to be distracted and spoke with a number of ponies who were there that day. There were so many ponies willing to speak of the event that I regretfully had to cut out many. In the end, I made copies of them to send to the mare in question and have selected only two, in my humble opinion, the two that matter most, to put into this book. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife is a silly pony at times. She always smiles and though she often makes mistakes, she never hesitates to try again. It’s why I love her. I’m proud of her. Also irrevocably angered. The first thing she does after the Princesses get frozen in stone is to join them. I don’t care if she saved all of Equestria with that act, you could have died, Dearest Heart! Why couldn’t you have flown off course like every other time? I could only watch you fly straight and push Princess Twilight Sparkle out of the way. ...I almost gave up you know, seeing your face frozen. But… I couldn’t give up. Because you didn’t. You never gave up. I love you, Dearest Heart. I hope you know that, love. … This is going to be published right? They’re going to know that my wife is the one who saved Equestria right? … Good. She deserves it and more. You know how I said they were accounts? Well, I may have exagerrated a tad bit. The story is quite simple. During the initial attack, one brave mare swooped in and saved the remaining alicorn Princess from the fate of our three rulers, giving us enough time to prepare for the Festival. This is really more notes of how that impacted the lives of Equestria. Spoiler: It’s enough for you to be considered for the Eclipse Medal, a newly designed medal dedicated to undistinguished service, both civil and military, for Equestria. To achieve it, all four alicorns must agree to award it. And I use considered in that context very loosely. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My mom was taking me along the festival when the big ships came down from the sky. Everything was loud and expodyn. Eplidi. Expodinga. Everything was loud and going boom, but mommy picked me up and flew me to daddy. We were going to run away and hide, but mommy saw Mrs. Sparkle about to get hit by those scary orbs. She hugged me once before she flew in front of the bad pony. And then she turned to stone. Daddy hugged me and we ran away. I think I remember screaming. I don’t care what anypony else says! My mom isn’t stupid and she’s a hero! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my defense, Ditzy Doo, I did ask you to give your side of the story. I hope you received the filing cabinet full of thank you letters from around Equestria. I daresay if it weren’t for you, our rebellion may never have succeeded. Oh and Auntie Celly tells me that you’re invited to the Grand Galloping Gala with three tickets. You should go. I’ve seen the guest list and it actually looks like it’s going to be fun. PS: Should you and yours ever need help, do not be afraid to ask the House of Blood. Author's Note Kind of a short one. Not much to do. I mean Ditzy Doo only took the place of Twilight. But in doing that, she did so much for Equestria. In the end, the greatest acts often take a split second to do. It's effect is astounding though.
Entry #2: For the Mare Who Sang RainbowsHeartsong is one of the fundamentals of harmony. When a pony feels a surge of emotion or wants to spread an idea, they will sing. Singing is one of the many ways that ponies use to spread ideas and incite cooperation. It’s why we work together better when there’s music. It gives us a rhythm, a beat to follow. Music is a core aspect of our lives as Equestrians. What most don’t realize is how core it is. A sad song makes others feel sad. A happy song makes us feel happy. The right song at the right moment can drive us to do great things… Or it can be the thing that pushes a pony down the wrong path. Cause a group to falter in a quest. Be the end of a revolution. Heartsong is not just song. Singing affects your soul and the soul of others. If you feel defeated, you can spread despair like nothing else in your cries. Cry a tear and a river will flow at the end of your lamented tragedy. Thankfully for us, the right song at the right moment pushed us. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Imprisoned in their cages, the ponies stood sullenly in their cages. Pegasi had their wings bound, unicorns were caged in bars that withstood their strongest blasts, and the earth ponies carried unneeded burdens so that they were weighed down. The Storm King soldier’s picked and chose their favorites as their servants, having them dance and sing and do tasks for them. Treated better than slaves with no punishment, the knowledge that they had been defeated was a heavier sting on the soul than any whip. Most of the ponies were muzzled, letting only muted sobs drift in the air as the behemoth soldiers rested. The only ones unmuzzled were the singers, caged to sing like the nightingales they were seen as. Equestria was conquered in less than a day and as the conquered… The conquered served the conquerors as was always done. Nothing could be done And so they trudged through their life, listlessly doing their given tasks, and listened to the dull silence of a soft, sweet voice drifting into the air… I know you, you're a special one Some see crazy where I see love You fall so low but shoot so high Slightly strained as though the singer was singer louder than necessary, the song did its purpose nevertheless, entertaining the Storm King Soldiers. The serving ponies brought out more food and drink for the Storm King. Big dreamers shoot for open sky So much life in those open eyes So much depth, you look for the light But when your wounds open, you will cry You'll cry out now and you'll question why Unnoticed to the celebrating guards though, aa beat was forming to accompany the otherwise instrumental-less song. Each step by the chained ponies doing their tasks were in unison. Pata. Pata. Ponpata. Pata. Pon pata. Pata. Pata. Ponpata. I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out Cliched as it was, some ponies did shed tears as they remembered painful moments, moments where they were lost or broken, moments when they were alone and weak. But they also remembered the moments where they became better, where friends and family came to pick them up. I am here and I see your pain Through the storms, through the clouds, the rain I'm telling you you cannot escape You can do it, just feel baby Continuing their commands with their heads held just a little bit higher, each pony endeavored to look at one another in the eyes. The need to know that they weren’t alone in this nightmarous situation gave them strength to push on. I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out Some ponies looked up aand were disappointed to see the storm clouds in the sky. Those same ponies gasped softly when a few of the free pegasai took the liberty to cause the clouds to drizzle softly. The soldiers immediately growled in warning, but the setup was complete. Here comes the sun Smiling down Here comes the sun Smiling down Here comes the sun Smiling down Smiling down The caged unicorns shot harmless beams of light into the air and had their cages rattled in response by the soldiers. I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground Rainbows blossomed in the small drizzle. I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out The Storm King soldiers snarled, angry at something. Something they could not understand. Why go through all this trouble to make a rainbow? Did these ponies not know they were conquered? The behemoth soldiers looked dat the muzzled ponies and scratched their heads as they tried to understand. The ponies looked defeated. Chained, muzzled, and caged, how could they look anything but conquered? I can see a rainbow In your tears as they fall on down I can see your soul grow Through the pain as they hit the ground And yet as the rain started up again, lights shot into the sky, and that steady pounding continued… It did not feel as the ponies were defeated. I can see a rainbow In your tears as the sun comes out As the sun comes out All the while, a white pegasus continued to sing, bangs lowered to hide her growing smile as she sang hope again. Second verse, same as the first. Thank you Songlight Serenade for keeping our hopes up with that song. As before, tickets have been sent to the Grand Galloping Gala.
Entry #4: For the Teacher Who LedTeachers are one of the most important positions out there. Terrible ones simply have their students learn the information before sending them off into the world. Good ones expand students horizons and inspire them to be more than what they could be. And the best ones? The best ones are those indistinguishable from family. Holding you when you cry, supporting you in your failures and successes, and being the shield for you in your worst times. More often than not, they are the ones who turn what the troublemakers of youth into the greatest ponies they can be and more. They are the ones who take what any sane being would write off as a failure and guide them to greatness. I’ve been told that Tempest Shadow took great pride in the fact that there was no casualties in her invasion. I find it darkly humorous that she herself almost broke her own achievement though. And on one of the best teachers I will ever have the priviledge to know, no less. The following is an interview between myself and an unnamed student. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ms. Cheerilee’s okay, right? … Oh. Yeah. Silly question I guess. I mean my class is going to go visit her tomorrow, so she’s obviously fine and the papers did say that there were no casualties or heavy injuries. ...What? I can read! You got a problem with me reading the papers? … Yeah. That’s right. I read the papers and I keep up to date! Got to stay in the know! Better than half those idiots screaming out about how the Princesses don’t exist. Sun and moon, I have to deal with those idiots walking to school. … Um… I go to the School for Gifted Unicorns. Can’t you see the horn? … There’s only the one in Canterlot, isn’t there? … ...Your head’s bleeding. Oh? You don’t care? You sure? Okay! Okay! I’ll stop asking! So me and a bunch of my friends are walking around, right? I mean the Festival of Friendship just started and nopony ever pays attention in class especially when the biggest party in Equestria is literally going on in town. But the parental figures don’t want the kids scampering ‘round right? So the teachers offer to babysit for the first day. Normally, I would say that sucked because me and my friends wanted to go ste- go steeple some roofs. Steeple can be a verb. And you don’t know that my friends aren’t pegasi! We weren’t going to steal some alc- alkaline batteries! You can’t use this in court! … Oh, uh… you don’t care? Sorry. Sorry. Anyways, me and my friends wanted to hang out, but the teachers had to babysit us. Come on! We walk by ourselves to school and home, we can handle a festival by ourselves. But yeah. The kids who parents didn’t want around got shunted off to the daycare, we were milling around, snacking on home lunches, doing activities that we didn’t really want to do, when BAM! This storm cloud comes out of nowhere! AIrships start landing everywhere and these huge monkey goat things come out. They got these null shields and blasting them doesn’t work, so the teachers start panicking until this one purple earth pony slams the ground hard enough to crater it! Like no joke. It would have been pretty badass to crack it, but she fucking CRATERS IT! Like big enough that I could lie in it and sleep. And everypony just looks at this mare because one does not simply just not look at the mare who freaking craters the ground. Then this mare looks around, and you better bucking believe I memorized this, and shouts. You should do something. Like her speech is to amazing to be in mere quotation marks. What in Tartarus are you doing!? Equestria’s being invaded and this is what you do!? What happened to all those boasts about being amazing teachers? Eh? What happened to them!? I’m ashamed for you. Your teachers! We’re teachers! Students look up to us. They trust us! You panic and the students panic! Our jobs as teachers is to teach and protect! So Discord help me, protect the students, damn it! She was so badass. Get this! After her awesome speech, she smiles like she didn’t just yell at the “best” teachers in Equestria to get their horseapples together. Instead,she tells all of us to get in line, that we were going on a little walk, and that we were going to sing a song and that we could call her Ms. Cheerilee or Ms. Cheers if we wanted to. It was kind of hilarious. There’s an invasion going on, everypony’s scared out of their minds, and then she just treats an evacuation as though we were going on a field trip. You know what? It bucking worked. This one colt that always cried when a teacher glared at him actually started smiling and singing along to the song that Ms. Cheers was singing as we walked out of the main courtyard in single file line. My teachers were all sniffing and disapproving and we were scared, butMs. Cheers seemed like she knew what she was doing, and the song was fun to sing. Ooh! Let me sing it for you! When you're rife with devastation There's a simple explanation: You're a toymaker's creation Trapped inside a crystal ball And whichever way he tilts it Know that we must be resilient We won't let them break our spirits As we sing this silly song When I was a little filly, a galloping blaze overtook my city So they shipped me off to the orphanage. Said, "ditch those roots if you wanna fit in" So I dug one thousand holes and cut a rug with orphan foals Memories are blurred, and their faces are obscured, but I still, know the words to this song When you've bungled all your bangles And your loved ones have been mangled Listen to the jingle jangle Of my gypsy tambourine 'Cause these chords are hypnotizing And the whole world's harmonizing So please children stop your crying And just sing along with me Anyways, we sing the song, we follow Ms. Cheerilee like we’re on a field trip, except you know, stuff’s on fire and we have to sneak through the alleyways, but it was fun and like an adventure. It was hilarious to see Mr. [REDACTED] get all freaked out over the mice when we had to sneak through the sewage system. Did you know that our sewage system actually goes directly to the magical power plant to burn for energy? Eventually, we made it back to SGU(School For Gifted Unicorn) All the fillies and colts got shoved into the classrooms and we got told to be quiet with the teachers watching us. So obviously we started talking about what was going on, what we were going to do. The teachers were looking less panick-y but they still seemed unsure. Especially when the goat monkey soldiers start marching into the couryard. Everypony instantly got to the corners. Even me. Yeah. I was scared. I admit it. Everypony else was. Want to know who wasn’t? Ms. Bucking Cheerilee! She gets a chair with both hooves, stands to the side of the only door to the classroom, and when that ugly soldier leans its stinking head in, she freaking whacks it marbles out and breaks the chair on the head! Then she goes to steal the spear, holding it with her teeth and start stabbing the next one right back out. And the next. Sometimes she whacked them until the spear broke and then she just freaking tackles them and wrestles them to steal the spear! Sometimes she even straight up just got the shield and bashed them! Old Mr. [REDACTED] and them even got in on the action, shooting magic blasts, but Ms. Cheerilee was definitely the MVP! Sun and Moon, she suplexed one of them! And then Tempest Shadow comes in! Like she’s standing in the courtyard and- ... What? We’re done! But we were getting to the awesome part! … It wasn’t scary! … Okay, maybe a little scary, but she’s fine now! … Fine. Why you giving me a lollipop!? I ain’t some little filly! … Okay, I do like lollipops… I’m only taking it because I like them. And not because I’m a little filly. … I’m going to get bigger, ****** … Oh. I’ll tell Ms. Cheerilee you said hi. Ah… That was a fun interview. Rarely do I get such brutal honesty. A colorful perspective from a colorful student on a colorful incident. Apologies. Could not resist the wordplay. There is more to Ms. Cheerilee’s story, but I wish to get a more… adult perspective on that part of the story. Sadly, all the adults in the story are currently in the hospital right now. … Why do I always do these things to myself? Author's Note Inspired by Wishy Wish's AMAZING STORY! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/388824/mrs-robinsons-stand Seriously. GO READ MS. CHEERILEE BEING AWESOME ANDD BADASS! I am unashamed to admit that I shed manly tears.
