It was a quiet night in a tiny bar on the outskirts of Ponyville. Berry Punch sat quietly at her spot at the bar, looking down into a wine glass at her boxed Merlot. It was garbage. It tasted like grape juice with bitters added, rather than any form of real wine. Whatever. It was what she needed. Or at least, that's what she told herself.
It had been awhile. A hell of a long while. Despite a number of shenanigans that had happened before to her involving bottles or bananas, this marked one year since a serious amount of change in her life. And she knew that. But, something ached at her. It scrached at the back of her mind, and sent her reeling back around and around to a single question.
"What am I doing with my life?"
The question threw her for a loop. She knew she has things to be proud of. Friends, a steady job, disposable income, a family who is... well. Mostly supportive. They mean their best. On a good day. But none of this seemed to appease the quiet voice in the back of her mind.
"I should be farther along by now," she thought to herself. "I'm still renting an apartment. I should be living on my own. Everything just feels so... difficult. Every day it's some new problem. Every day it's some new drama. Everything is just so..."
And then she cut that thought off. She knew she was stronger than that. Those days had passed her. She's a grownup now. She needs to think and act like one. The sins of the past have no hold or sway off of today's 'New Berry'.
She just had to keep telling herself that, and one day it'll be true.
It's at that moment that a small pegasus peeked her head into the bar and scuttled her way inside, only lightly ringing the bell as she entered. The bartender doesn't even look up from drying his high-ball glasses as the familar orange filly snuck her way to a dark corner of the room.
Berry shook her head and looked back down into her drink, trying to keep her own thoughts to herself.
"I know I'm a flawed person," she mumbled to herself. "I just..."
Her thoughts trailed off into a space where vocabulary failed her. In this part of her mind there were only feelings and abstract concepts that could describe the way her hoof trembled on the counter of the bar. The feeling of letting a friend down. The feeling of finally embracing who you really are. The feeling of kicking a self-destructive habit. The feeling of not being enough. The rush of helping a friend, even if it meant hurting yourself. The crushing defeat of self-sacrifice.
She took a deep breath and downed the glass in front of her without another thought.
"Another year, and another year of disappointment."
But she knew that wasn't true either. There's good to match the bad. The joy of holding a lover close. The laughter of friendship. There's so many good things that is happening in her life.
It's then that Berry turned and looked over her shoulder at the dark corner of the room where a filly had snuck underneath a table of a booth and laid down.
"Looks like you have a visitor," Berry said to the bartender in disinterest.
"Yeah," the stallion sighed, keeping his voice down. "She comes by on occasion. She doesn't take anything. It's just getting cold out. She's just a kid. Proud too. She won't admit that she needs somepony's help. It breaks my heart too much to kick her out, so I let her think she's pulling the whole 'ninja' act. It's easier that way."
Berry hummed in understanding. Pride. Now there's something she could relate to. The good ol' "Is everything okay?" question, had earned such a reflexive 'Oh yeah, you know how it is.' response that some day now it should come true. Shouldn't it?
Berry rose from her seat, her tolerance essentially ignoring the four glasses of wine she's already had this evening. One of the many problems with drinking too much for too long. Although she prefered the term 'functional drinking enthusist' as opposed to any other more derogatory term.
She sat down in the booth that the filly was hiding under. She could feel the filly's breath on her hooves as she sat down.
"Hey kid," she muttered to the empty seat across from her. "Need a place to stay tonight?"
Silence fell over the booth.
"Oh come on, you aren't fooling anyone. And especially not me. Plus the floor is pretty darn uncomfortable. Take it from somepony who's been there."
There was a moment of silence, but then the filly moved into a seat and sat accross from Berry.
"Well, since you blew my cover," Scootaloo said. "Now I have to find somewhere else to sleep tonight."
"Yeah, and I'm offering a place to stay," she said.
"Thanks, but no thanks," the filly said leaping out of the seat. "I've already learned my lesson about taking rooms from strangers."
The words hit Berry on a level that she didn't expect. The words came out of the filly so -matter of factly-.
"I'm a friend of Rainbow Dash's, really. It'll be okay," Berry said, just trying to be kind.
The filly snickered and turned on the spot.
"Everypony is friends with Rainbow. I'm not dense. This is how fillies disappear. Thanks but no thanks."
Berry kept her mouth shut as the filly turned and made her way for the door. Her heart sank deeper into her chest at the idea of the poor filly's strife. She had no idea what Scootaloo's life was actually like, but the context clues spelled nothing good. But she knew better than to ask Scootaloo directly.
"254 Magnolia. I'll leave the front door unlocked," Berry called out to the filly.
Scootaloo paused only for a heartbeat as she exited the bar, and left Berry alone once more.
She sighed and walked up to bartender.
"I'll settle up."
Berry Punch walked into her home, and left her front door unlocked just as she had remembered. She wasn't sure why she was doing this. This filly didn't owe her anything. Maybe it was pity? Maybe it was out of sense of loniness? She couldn't exactly decided. However, what she was doing felt right.
Her home wasn't anything to be proud of. Just a 1 floor rented space with a mostly open floor plan, to make the small space feel larger than it actually is. She walked over to her couch and unfolded the pullout bed. She tossed a pillow and a blanket on it, then headed towards her bedroom. Then, she paused. No. There was one more thing she could do.
She walked to her refridgerator, pulled out two bottles of water and set them on the kitchen table and added two granola bars to the stack. She nodded to herself then went to her room, closed and locked the door behind her, and went to bed.
When she awoke, groggy and exhausted from another night of unrestful sleep, she stepped out of her bedroom and back into her tiny home. She paused for a moment, but didn't hear the stirring of air or rustle of fabric. Berry sighed to herself. She was being silly. Of course Scootaloo wasn't going to crash here. She's smarter than that. Too jaded.
However, when she walked into the kitchen, she noticed the water and granola bars were gone. and the blankets on the pullout bed were dissheveled and used. A smile curled on the lips of the mare as she pulled out a can of coffee grounds to begin her day.
Once again, only abstract concepts were able to describe her feeling. Strong? Proud? The feeling starting at the bottom and working step by step up the ladder of success. Berry knew her life wasn't easy. But, it was the little things like rustled sheets and missing granola bars that made everything worth it at the end of the day.
