But Forgiving Can Be Harder
Two months had passed since the fall formal. Sunset had been going around apologizing for all the many things she had done. From Rarity for how she ruined the previous dance for her to Lyra for trashing her performances. While they had all accepted her apology, only a handful had been willing to forgive her, and Sunset understood. It wasn’t like she expected this to fix everything. But she said them all anyways.
Except for this last one. She hadn’t spoken to Flash since the dance. She had been doing everything she could to avoid him. By far, this was the hardest one for her. During the year they dated, she had never felt anything for him. She had only dated him to become popular.
She had been a horrible girlfriend. She would freak out over him talking to other girls, demand to know where he was at all times of the day, and insist that he take her out to the movies and dinner. But whenever Flash had tried to set anything up, she stood him up more times than not. She had been horrible to him.
Eventually, Flash had had enough. Sunset realized that, and had known it was only a matter of days before he broke up with her. But she also knew that being dumped would be bad for her image. So she had broken up with him. And she had been cruel about it.
Sunset had bought a new bra, two sizes larger than would fit her, and ‘found’ it while at his place. The next day she had almost the whole school together on the front steps as she threw it in his face, called him a cheater, and stormed off. Flash hadn’t been able to hold a steady relationship since. It was past time for Sunset to make amends.
The other students still gave her a wide berth as she walked down the halls. Whether it was lingering fear after what she had done at the dance, a way of them all showing that they hadn’t forgiven her yet, or just leftover habits from when she practically ruled the school mattered not to her. She felt she deserved it.
It was the end of the day, and the final bell had just rung. Flash was at his locker, no doubt getting ready to head home. As Sunset approached the other students formed a bubble around them. They all quickly fell silent. “I don’t have anything to say to you,” Flash said angrily, knowing only one student could bring such silence to the usually loud and busy hallway.
“I know. And you don’t have to say anything, just, please, listen.” Sunset’s voice was soft, but every word rang clear.
Flash stood up, slammed his locker before turning and leaning back against it. “Why should I listen to anything you have to say, bitch?” he growled. He folded his arms across his chest, glaring daggers at the girl.
The words stung, but Sunset accepted them. Sticking her hands in her pockets, she hung her head. “All I want to say is that I’m sorry. I was an absolute bitch to you when we dated. I was horrible to you.” Sunset did feel horrible about what she had done. With the other apologies, she had been able to look them in the eye and let them see the sorrow and pain in her eyes. But not with Flash. Sunset had to fight to keep from crying. With a shuddering breath, she continued. “I was obsessed with being popular. I never had any feelings for you, and so just toyed with yours. And I’m sorry for how I ended things. I knew you were planning on breaking up with me, so I ended it first.
“But, I wasn’t content with just leaving you.” Sunset finally looked up at Flash, defeat written across her face. He looked back at her with contempt. “I lied about you cheating on me to make you the bad guy. It was petty and mean.” The tears finally broke free and started sliding down her cheeks. “So, for everything I did, for the absolute bitch I was to you, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Flash stared at the crying girl before him, his expression softening. He had felt something for her, years ago. When she had asked him out, he had been elated to date her. Despite all the crap she put him through, he was still willing to try. And just when he was ready to move on, she had pulled that stunt with the bra. None of the girls at CHS spoke to him for months, and a lot of the guys avoided him too. In that moment, he had become a social pariah.
Thinking back on scene on the steps, and looking around, Flash had a sudden sense of deja vu. A slight smirk crossed his face. “That it?” he questioned, his voice still hard. “No explanations, no reasons, just I'm sorry?”
A murmur went through the crowd, and a hiccough escaped Sunset's lips. Those were almost the same words she had said to him.
Sunset nodded slowly. “Ya. I just needed to say sorry. For everything.” Her head hanging again, Sunset took a deep breath. There was a question she needed to ask. One she had asked everyone else. But she was scared to, scared of the answer she would get. Pulling her hands out of her pockets, Sunset brought them together and began fidgeting nervously.
Flash spoke before she could calm herself. “Well? Is there something else?” his voice was knowing, too knowing. Sunset’s eyes shot up, locking with Flash’s. Tears continued to stream down her face as she met his cold glare. For a moment, just a moment, his eyes betrayed a sense of inner conflict. Flash was pushing himself to do this. He took a deep breath. “You know, I do have friends now. Took me months after your bull shit, but I’ve got a few. I’ve heard about all your apologies through the grapevine.” he forced a smirk across his face. A moment of hesitation before, “So, go on. Ask it.”
Sunset sputtered, trying to find words. She wasn’t ready. She couldn’t ask it yet. She knew the answer, it was obvious now, but she didn’t want to hear it. “Flash...” she began, her voice weak. “Please. We both know the answer... There’s nothing I can do.” The tears were flowing freely now, streaming down her cheeks. She had asked everyone she apologized to how to make it up to them, how to earn their forgiveness. She knew that no amount of words, no matter how heartfelt, could fix the damage her actions had wrought. Most had said time. Some had asked her to right a specific wrong. Meeting Flash’s eyes again, Sunset wilted under his glare. It was cold and cruel. It was the same glare she had worn for years. But there was that moment of sympathy in them.
In that instant, Sunset understood. There was nothing she could do to earn his forgiveness. How could she, after everything she had done to him. And Flash clearly had no intention of giving it. But that didn’t matter here. Flash wanted to humiliate her the way she had humiliated him. But it wasn't out of malice. He was playing the role she had played all that time ago. He needed that. The whole school probably needed to see that. Sunset sucked in a deep breath. Slowly letting it out, Sunset was able to speak through the tears. She had to do this, as part of her penance. “Flash, is there anything I can do to earn your forgiveness?”
“No.”
Sunset broke. She crumpled to the ground, landing on her knees, sobbing. Hearing him confirm it, no matter how much she expected it, even if it was just Flash playing the role, it hurt. It hurt knowing that she could never be forgiven for what she had done.
Flash watched her drop, his smirk fading. He grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and left. The crowd slowly dispersed, everyone going home. Everyone ignored Sunset as she knelt there, sobbing her heart out.
A hand gently rested upon Sunset’s shoulder. “Come on, Sunset,” a familiar, soft voice said. “Let’s get you up off the floor.” Blinking through the tears, Sunset saw the yellow hand in front of her. Still shaking, she reached out and took it. “It’s okay...” Fluttershy whispered as she helped Sunset stand.
The next two days passed in a blur for Sunset. She had no more apologies left to say. She wasn’t sure what to do. With the school day just ending, Sunset made her way to her locker. Pulling it open, a small envelope drifted down in front of her. Barely glancing at it, Sunset put away her school things and prepared to leave. With everything ready, Sunset closed her locker and stared down at the envelope. It wasn’t the first she had received.
Plenty of people were still angry with her, and shoved hate mail into her locker. A part of her wanted to leave it there, she had no interest in the vile it contained. Another part of her felt it was part of her punishment. That she was obligated to read each of them. After all, she had said far worse than anything these letters contained.
Sighing, Sunset reached down and picked it up. Walking out of the building, she flipped it over and slit the seal open. She was the last to leave the building, as usual. Sunset sat down at the bottom of the steps and read.
Sunset,
I'm sorry about Tuesday. That was petty of me. I'm better than that, and I want to believe you are too. I'm still bitter about everything, but that doesn't mean I should be cruel about it.
There is something you can do to earn my forgiveness. The next time you want to date someone, or someone wants to date you, I want you to tell them everything you did to me. You need to admit how badly you screwed things up between us.
I don't ask this to try and sabotage you. This is about accepting what you've done. If after they hear everything they still want to be with you, good for you. If not, then, well, sorry. Basically, I just want you to own up to your past. Don't try to bury it.
I don't expect you to tell me you've done it, I'm taking it on faith. I want to believe you've changed. Give me time and reason enough to believe, and I'll be able to forgive you. It's going to take time, but I think I can get there in the end.
-Flash
Sunset looked up at the sky. A few clouds were drifting past, but Sunset's gaze was far beyond them. “Admit my mistakes huh?” Sunset deflated slightly. Then she chuckled, although it was a weak one. A small smile crossed her lips. “Ya, I can do that.”
