The Cinammon-Quinn Mysteries

by Grasshopper Keller

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Sad, Anthro, Main 6, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Sex
Length: 5075

A story of a human finding romance and adventure with the ponies of Equestria.

[Fair warning to all readers: Sex, alcohol, violence and cursing is in the mix. Please do not read if you are faint of heart or a troll. All characters are aged up to above 21.]

A seemingly ordinary man from Earth gets accidentally transported to the great magical world of Equestria by a portal that he accidentaly stumbles to. When he arrives, he sees both a magical mystery that no pony can solve & a brand new life that he is to make with the ponies.

Along the way, he'll discover what it really means to be the only human in the land of Equestria while also learning that the ponies are so much like him.

[Rule 63 Tags: Big Macintosh, Shining Armor, Fancy Pants & Spike.]

[Other Tags: Other, Mystery, Comedy & Drama.]

Published 2017-10-31 18:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-31 18:50:06 UTC

Prologue: The Human

The Equestrian Quinn Mysteries
By: Grasshopper Keller

**Prologue: The Human**

Time: 8:45 PM EST. Location: Dallas, Texas. Country: USA. Planet: Earth.

It was another night at a local bar for Kyle Quinn. His favorite drinking hole, as he often said to himself after a long day of working. And with forty to fifty hours as a construction worker in a week, he was more than just tired. He was also sore enough to lay down on his bed back at his flat. There were times when the extra hours were actually needed, such as when a few people were cut off because of how lazy they were. But Kyle hated that as much as knowing that there were people that really had no idea how to be safe with the tools and materials needed for the job. Others were just weaker than him in terms of both physical and mental strength. He allowed himself to laugh low enough for no one around him to listen. The cause was because of how his boss, an older woman who had been in the business for longer than he has, was ripping a new one against a few men that ‘accidentally’ stuck a large pile of wood into a drying cement square.

”Those guys were scared shitless,” Kyle said to himself with a small grin. ”It’s a good thing that Sheila wasn’t that way with me when I was hungover about three months ago.” On that day, he was discovered with that ailment that only slowed his mind down because of the pain. He was distributing the tools and materials for the foreman’s assistant during an old project that he was working with his colleagues on before Sheila called him to her office. Upon learning many months before that she was not going to stop asking him what was up with him until he conceded, Kyle told her the full story.

On the night before, he was allowing himself to drink because of three events that led him to do so. The first event started with how an ex girlfriend turned up dead from a really gory accident on the boulevard that led to Houston. This led to him remembering the past with that same woman who only used him for sex years before, breaking his heart in the process and making him believe that there was no hope for him in the dating world. The second event that rocked his world was how his parents were still safe in Florida, even with the hurricanes threatening them. And Kyle was ever so thankful that he never had to call them unless it was to wish them a happy holiday, depending on the month or his birthday. And the final event that did it all was how it all came crashing down on him... During his 30th birthday.

After telling the whole story to her, Sheila offered both a belated happy birthday to him and a huge, but heartfelt, lecture on why he was not supposed to be drinking before a job was to be done. But today was different, given that he was given a month off before he could go back to work. There was to be a new job for him and his crew just at the downtown area in Dallas. Kyle took another swig of his beer and gulped it down, enjoying the taste while allowing the alcohol to sooth his almost overworked nerves.

“To Sheila,” he said to himself with a smile that grew.

“Who’s that, Kyle?” the bartender asked, overhearing that salute.

“My boss at the site,” he replied looking to him. “She decided to give me a month off so that I can rest. So that’s why I’m here.”

“Excellent,” the bartender nodded his head. “This means we’ll be seeing more of you here.”

“Cheers.”

Kyle then finished the first bottle and pushed it away from him. “May I get another, Jay?” he called out.

“Coming up,” the bartender identified as Jay answered. And just like that, another bottle was given to him with a slide to him. And with the cap already opened.

“Thanks, Jay,” Kyle thanked him.

“You’re welcome, bud. By the way, the tab’s $2.50,” Jay said with his left hand out to receive the money.

“That much, huh? What’s up?” Kyle asked, curious about the low price.

“The manager wanted to thank you for the quick work that you did for us,” Jay explained.

“Got it,” Kyle nodded while pulling up a card from his wallet. After pulling it up, he pushed to the man behind the counter. “Run a big tab for me and the guys at table ten,” he said as he pointed to a small group of men sitting at that table a few feet from him. “Awesome job during the karaoke show last night,” he called to them.

“Thanks, Kyle!” the quintet at the table thanked him.

“De nada,” he greeted before grabbing the second bottle near him and took another gulp of the beer that he ordered for himself. And just like with the first bottle, the brew was just as tasty. But as he looked to the LED TV near him, the wide receiver for his football team had been sacked by the opposition. This caused him to groan and boo at the team that made that play. While the commentators played out the steps of that failed plan by the home team, Kyle pulled up a cigarette from a fresh pair of packs and lit it up. And with a puff of the burning tobacco running out from his throat and lungs, he smiled again. Yep... This was the going to become the beginning of a month that he truly deserved for his hard work.

“Oh! Come on!” he yelled out as his team was forced to turn over the ball to the opposing team on the TV, along with his friends.

(*****)

Meanwhile, on the foothills just two miles from Ponyville, Equestria.

"Thanks again for deciding to see this new phenomenon with me, girls," Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, thanked her very best pony friends. And as she, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy all made their way to the top of the foothills, Twilight had given them all a warm smile before she began to explain what was about to happen in the next hour or so. "This happens to be the time when both a rare planetary alignment and a meteor shower occur at the same time. The last time that such a unique thing happened was over five thousand years ago. And even the Princesses Celestia and Luna both don't know what may happen."

"We're happy to be walking with you to see the metoer shower, Twilight, but what was that about a planetary alignment again, darling?" Rarity asked Twilight with her curiosity now piqued.

"Yeah! I'd like to know about it too," Rainbow said as well while the other mares near her replied their desire as well.

"Well," Twilight giggled lightly, happy that her friends were excited about something completely new while keeping her head focused on how to find the constellation from what she could remember. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both confided in me that there might be some random magical flux when a few stars become magically aligned by a force that none of them, or even Discord--" she trailed off, rolling her eyes in disbelief from what she was about to say next. "--can control. And this force is one that happens to be familiar to the power that I felt when I was in the netherworld before I ascended to an Alicorn."

"You mean that place where you saw Celestia who began to tell you that your destiny was not yet fulfilled even with you completing the same spell that switched out everypony's cutie marks?" Pinkie Pie was able to summarize within about ten or more seconds while keeping that smile and bounce.

"It might be even more powerful than that, but I wouldn't really know, because of how I haven't been able to research the proper materials," Twilight shook her head before stopping at where she needed to be at. "Barbara! Do you have the telescope with you?" she called out behind the mares behind her.

"I got it here, sis!" another female voice called out. It was Barbara, a five foot seven bipedal dragoness with a green drooping but curled fringe for a mane, light and dark purple scales and claws, and emerald green eyes, who said it while carrying a box that contained the telescope in it. "Whew!" she sighed exhaustedly while wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Is this meteor shower so important to collect data from, Twilight? The CMC and I were about to hang out at the clubhouse for an hour or two before we decided to get to Berry Punch's new liquor store," she explained while running up to the ponies near her.

"Well, you could have asked them to come with us, Barbara," Twilight assured her little dragon sister while she activated her horn to release the box from the dragoness' clawed hands. "And we're already ahead of you with going to Berry Punch's for a drink," she said while pulling out a pink wine from a basket that Pinkie Pie and Applejack put together. "And with the food provided, we'll all have a great ti-- what's that you got there, Barbara?" she trailed off as she then gazed at some object that the dragoness was already carrying.

"Oh this?" Barbara said before pulling the object from the top of the box that she set on the ground. "I wrapped it up before taking it with me," she explained. "It's a little light, for some kind of sword," she added with a scratch on her head.

With that said, Twilight immediately activated her magic from her horn and floated the object towards her, unwrapping it to see if it really was a sword that her assistant said it was. After carefully unwrapping the paper, the Alicorn saw that it really was the blade of a sword. Deciding to see the rest, she carefully placed the paper to her feet and began to look at the now revealed weapon.

"Hmm..." Twilight hummed in an eager but safe curiosity while looking at the blade. The metal of blade almost glowed from the moonlight while showing a design on the flat side that had all of the Alicorn Cutie Marks. But just as her interest was peaked, she saw that it was incomplete; the guard, hilt and pommel were missing. "Where is the handle?" she gasped.

"Pardon?" Rarity spoke up.

"This sword is supposed to have a handle, but it doesn't," the princess pointed while carefully floating the blade so that they could see what she was getting a little perplexed with the questions in her head. Twilight then turned her head to the left to look at Barbara and asked, "Did you happen to see a handle when you picked it up, Barbara, or did you pick it up as it was?"

"I picked it up just a few feet away from the castle entryway before I made it here," the dragoness answered her. "We don't have guards because we have our awesome friends here," she pointed to the other mares with a smile, receiving a smile back from them while Rainbow Dash made a triumphant grunt. "So I decided to do the next best thing, which was to show you that weapon." After giving her story to them, she placed the box down and opened it up to see the telescope inside of it.

"Well, you did the right thing in bringing it to me, Barbara," Twilight nodded her head before opening an arm to her. Barbara knew what she was wanting and decided to give her best friend that one armed hug. "And I'll be examining it after we all look at the metoer shower and lined planets in the sky, but not before I write a letter to Celestia and Luna to ask if they know about this sword blade," she assured the dragoness and her friends before lifting the telescope from the box.

(Meanwhile, at a balcony at Canterlot Castle.)

"Sister?" Princess Luna, seeing her sister Princess Celestia, spoke up. When her elder sister turned her head on her shoulder, the alabaster Alicorn made a warm smile. "Is there something going on?" she asked, concerned with her sister's stance on the balcony.

"No, Luna, everything is fair in the world," Celestia assured her sister with that smile. "But this planetary alignment and meteor shower, to which Twilight had reported to me from her scroll-" she stopped before revealing the same parchment and floating it over with her magic to her younger sibling, "-suggests that there is some type of magic that even our parents could not identify," she mused in a half somber, half curious tone.

"Indeed," Luna nodded while reading the report for herself. "And according to Twilight, this phenomenon only occurs every five thousand years. I also wonder what might happen this night? Oh! And, uh-"

"You've been listening to how our subjects speak these days, I take it," Celestia interrupted before her sister could finish. She saw her sister nod with a small blush and said, "I am happy with your vocabulary coming up to par with how we speak to others these days."

"As am I, Tia," Luna smiled nearly giddily before recomposing herself to the topic at hand. "But back to this upcoming show to be seen in my night sky."

"Indeed," Celestia agreed. "And with our parents not knowing about this, maybe Dragon Lord Ember or Discord might know what this all means. The former so happens to have lived longer than we have, and maybe he might know the answer to this strange occurence."

"Actually, I think that our reformed Chaos Master might know a little something as well," Luna brought up with a roll of her eyes to the ceiling. "Wouldn't you agree, Discord?" she asked, pointing her eyes to an ugly lamp post near the door.

"As a matter of fact-", a familiar voice echoed in the room before the lamp post dissembled itself to show not one but two Draconequus beings flashing before them. "Eris and I so happen to have been looking for the answers ourselves for the last few hours," Discord, the male Draconequus, said with his eyes twirling the hands of a clock with displaced numbers around them before going back to their asymetrical red pupils.

"And I think that we both might have found something out that... could be related to this night show," Eris, the young female Draconequus, and daughter of Discord, added.

"Please, do tell," Celestia told them in a calm, half-demanding tone to them. "I do not know what might happen tonight."

"Well, then, we might as well get something to snack on," Discord pointed up with his eagle claw literally pointing to the ceiling. With a snap, the royal sisters had been given a tub of popcorn while he and his daughter both got themselves a glass of chocolate milk and some cucumber sandwiches. "This might take a while for me to explain, as I don't like repeating myself."

"About what?" Luna inquired.

"There happens to be a race of bipedal creatures that are as chaotic as my magic, yet as orderly as your pony subjects."

"Were you able to find out what kind of creature once existed?"

"Well, no. But I think that our former Dragon Lord, Torch, might know something."

And for the last few minutes, details of the creature were spoken only between the Alicorns and the Draconequus pair.

(Transit to the Dragon Lands)

"Dad? What are you doing there?" Ember asked her dad, the former Dragon Lord, while seeing him going through the mountainous piles of books that were stacked up really high within a library cave.

"Ah! Ember, my dear," Torch greeted his daughter. "I am trying to find an account about an odd creature that once lived everywhere in Equestria more than five thousand years, with a few hundred families living here before I became the Dragon Lord before you. Would you be willing to help me find it?" he asked her with his voice taking his former position once again.

"No problem, dad," Ember smiled in her own Dragon grin. "Barbara actually taught me how she and Twilight Sparkle go through their book sorting a while back. I can help," she affirmed with her fist pounding her chest.

"Excellent," Torch nodded while holding a new pile of books up. "You can start by finding a book on odd creatures. Look through them if you must, but I doubt that we can find them," he said with his hand clenching on a stack of books being presented to his daughter.

"Let's get started, then," Ember stated after taking the books from his hands. As she and her father looked through and sorted the books, the both of them were feeling frustrated from how none of the books that they looked at had the knowledge that they desired to know. But it wasn't until Ember accidentally whipped her tail against another stack of books that her shared aggravation had surfaced. "Aw, geez! Now I have to - huh?" she raised her right brow after quickly seeing a book that looked peculiar to her eyes. "Dad, I think I found something," she called to him.

"Really?" Torch mused.

"Take a look at this one," Ember nodded before gently tossing the book to him.

Some pages in the book were being flipped through after it was tossed to him. Some mumbling was echoed while the rather large dragon man had sifted through the chapters in the book. It was just until he had stopped at the middle of the book that his grin began to rise up into a triumphant smile.

"I found it!" Torch growled in that tone of his.

"What? What is it, Dad?" Ember nearly demanded to know. She was called over with his hands to join him and took the invite by stepping up to the table to stand next to her dad. Looking at the title of the page that was marked, it all began to make some sense. "Huh. A meteor shower, a rare planetary alignment, and a mysterious sword made with the magic of Alicorns and the fire of the Dragon King? What is this?"

"This, my dearest Ember, is the beginning of the arrival of a race of bipedal creatures who are even more resourceful than all of us Dragons, and the ponies in our neighboring lands, put together. Look at the terms used in this paragraph," he instructed her with a claw pointing to the passage.

"Hmm... homo sapien... or 'humans'," she repeated out loud.

"The human race," Torch confirmed.

(Back at Canterlot)

"The human race?" Luna gasped, remembering what she used to know about them.

"But, they have not existed in over five thousand years," Celestia said, looking at her sister before the Chaos Masters.

"As silly as it might sound, I think that this might be the start of either one or more humans coming in," Discord smirked at the Royal Sisters. "And- Oh? It seems that Twilight has just written a note for you, Tia," he noted after seeing some magic hovering near the Sun Princess.

"Let's hear what she has to say, sister," Luna beckoned her.

"Very well, then," Celestia agreed. She unraveled the note to find that it was Twilight indeed who had just written it. With her eyes reading every word, she was able to summarize that some weapon was found by the small dragoness. "It seems that Twilight, Barbara and their friends have found the sharp half of an unknown sword," she addressed to her guests and sibling. "And although the full handle is missing, she was able to note that the blade has our Cutie Marks, along with hers, Chrysalis' and Cadence's on the design."

"Now there's something you don't see or hear every day," Discord said in delight. "A blade with Alicorn Cutie Marks? And the handle missing? Ohh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! This is turning into a real mystery," he jumped a bit, loving the fact that there really was a mystery on the rise. "And please stop stating the obvious, Grasshopper!"

Oh, shut up! You need to stop breaking the fourth wall! That's Pinkie Pie's job!

"Sorry," Discord apologized. I forgive you.

"Who were you talking to, Discord?" Luna asked him, curious as to his sudden behavior.

"No one in particular. Just thanking something for this mystery," he said without hesitation.

"It is a mystery, all right," Celestia spoke up while writing down her reply to her best former student. "And I believe that if we were to find the handle of the sword tonight, we could know who is meant to possess it."

"I hope that we find the one who holds the guard, hilt and pommel of the weapon soon," Luna said worryingly.

"And me too," Eris decided to say. "Whoever this or these humans are, they'll likely have that handle with them."

(Back to Ponyville...)

"Girls! I just got the reply from Celestia," Twilight called to the mares after seeing Barbara burp up the reply.

"So what does Princess Celestia say, Twilight? Oh, I do hope that it's something good. I can't begin to-" Fluttershy was about to panic in her words before Pinkie stopped her with a cupcake being presented to her. "Thanks, Pinkie," she thanked her party friend.

"No problem," Pinkie smiled, bubbly as she always was. "Hey! Is that Grasshopper I hear?"

Yep.

"Good to hear from you, Grassy! You haven't written anything for a while!"

I've been busy. But you should get back to your cute friends, Pinkie.

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" she giggled before turning her attention back to her friends. "So what does Princess Celestia say?" she asked Twilight, who was already reading the note.

"She says that a representative of a strange, bipedal race is most likely going to appear in front of us tonight while we see this meteor shower and planetary alignment. And whoever they are, they'll have the handle for the blade that we possess at the moment," Twilight answered while keeping the details short.

"Goodness, Twilight," Rarity piped up. "If that is true, then we shall have to welcome this creature with open arms and some new clothes," she affirmed with the desire to be as generous as her former Element of Harmony taught her.

"Do you always think about outfitting some creature with your clothes, Rarity?" Applejack spoke to her fashionable friend. "Now, I'm just thinkin' that we should approach this thing with some caution, 'cause Celestia knows what might happen if we get near this thing too fast," she said while scratching her head.

"Chillax, A.J.," Rainbow waved her hand. "All we got to do is smile at this thing, and we're golden," she smirked.

"Or platinum," Twilight and Fluttershy both said, making them turn their heads to each other before giggling.

"In any case, I'd like us to reach a compromise concerning this representative," Barbara suggested to her older adopted sister. "Going by what Princess Celestia has written back, we do need to be cautious. But not so much that we give a bad vibe against them," she concluded with a claw pointed up.

"Great going there, Barbie," Pinkie giggled at her nickname to her dragoness friend.

"You know I don't like being called that, Pinkie," Barbara groaned.

"Well, where's the fun in just saying your name?" the party pony smiled at her.

"So! Moving on! Let's see the stars falling, eh?" Twilight suggested, knowing that some bantering was not needed with the time to see the new phenomenon getting immensely close.

"Let's see it!" Pinkie cheered, blowing out the confetti from her party cannon as the other mares decided to cheer too.

(Back to Earth...)

"So, hey, Jay!" Kyle called to the bartender with his hand beckoning him to come over. The same man that he called over quickly rushed to his view. "Where the heck is that bonehead, Matthews? He said that he had something to show me that he found just a few feet away from the job site," he wanted to know, feeling anxious.

"Oh, he should be here in about a minute or two," Jay said with his finger pointing to the clock. "He called ahead, saying that the traffic will delay him for about a minute," he explained shortly.

As soon as that was said, the door opened to reveal another man with a box in his hands while wearing the same kind of clothing that Kyle was wearing. It was Matthews.

"Evening, everyone!" Matthews announced to everyone. A few of the customers replied back while Jay gestured for him to sit in the stool next to Kyle. "Traffic was such a bitch today! And don't get me started on our team fumbling the ball in the second quarter!" he growled as his bottom sat on the comfy seat of his stool.

"Well, that's the pits, isn't it?" Kyle quipped. He then saw the box that Matthews was carrying. "I don't suppose you intend to let me see what you got there?" he said with his finger pointing at the box.

"I do," Matthews said before opening the box. "But before I show it to you, all that I need to say is that it so happens to be a bit broken, so don't be too disappointed with what you're about to see," he warned him.

"Just let us see it, dickhead," Kyle told him with his eyes rolling up. With that request- no, more like an order- being said, the rest of the package was opened and unwrapped. Immediately, Kyle saw something that looked really exquisite. There was no disappointment that was high up, given what his friend warned him about. And that was because of what he was seeing in the box.

"Now that is a thing of beauty," Kyle exhaled, awed by the look of the item.

It was the guard, hilt and pommel of a sword. The pictures on the three parts were almost draconic with fires on the hilt while also possessing almost floral work on the guard and a few odd symbols on the pommel. What he was able to figure out, just as quickly as his friend had realized, was that it really was a broken piece. The blade was not in the box.

"How did you find this again?" Kyle asked his friend, curious as to what his friend would reply with.

"I had just clocked out for the day after work today," Matthews began to explain. "I was making my way to my car when something shined up enough to catch my attention. And the object was about fifty or so feet from my car, so it was a bit of a walk for me. When I got to the object, I saw that this-" he pointed to the handle. "-was what caught my eye. I decided right there, given the past jobs that you told me about a few years ago, to give the handle to you. And now, here I am," he concluded with a pat on the counter.

"Matthews?" Kyle looked to him. "You just made me a happy guy today. Let me get you a drink or two. Jay! Two, please," he ordered with one hand pointing up two fingers while the other hand grabbed the box. With a quick clip, the box was closed up.

"Thanks, Quinn," Matthews said as he took the opened bottle and took a sip from it.

"No problem," Kyle smiled, taking his next drink as well.

(*****)

A few hours passed by, and Kyle had just had a few more drinks than he even needed.

"Ooh, shit! I musht be- (hic!) Whoops! Heh-heh-heh!" Kyle chuckled, woozy from the drinks.

"I told you you wouldn't be able to outdrink me, you piss head," Matt said with a big laugh.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, you scum sucking, dickless moron! Let's do this again, say, next week," Kyle said within his retort.

"I'll pay the rounds," Matt nodded. "You still holding that thing?" he asked, pointing to what his friend was holding.

"Oh! This!" Kyle quickly noted as he gripped the broken sword handle in his right hand. "I'll be taking it home with me so that I don't lose it."

"Then don't do that. It might fetch a good price for you if you pawn it," Matt said before stumbling to his car. "As for me? I'm sleeping inside my ride here. Don't want to risk a DUI, you know."

"Good choice!"

"Have a good night, Kyle! And don't be screwing my sister in your dreams!"

"She can haunt me all she wants, but there's no way in Hell that I'll let her dominate me! Good night!"

After that exchange, Kyle began to walk all the way to his flat. Some of the people who were driving had beeped at him, giving him the need to flip the bird at the drivers. With his walk becoming more like stumbles, and his head swaying him around, he realized that he should have cut himself off before this even began to happen. But soon enough, the feeling of nausea escalated into a higher state. And his perception of the world was blurry, even with a whole set of lights rising up from below the ground.

"Wait.... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!" Kyle screamed in fear, realizing that he was actually falling in some kind of hole that he had no idea that he fell upon.

.....

.....

"Sir...."

"Are you all right?"

.....

"Please," Kyle wheezed. "Help... me..."

No pony could figure out what the creature had said. Even though in front of them, they were still confused.

Author's Note

Hello, every brony and pegasister! Let me tell you all, it is great to be back, writing this prologue for all of you! Please let me know what you think (and if you want to see more) with a comment & like if you liked it. Constructive criticism welcomed, as well as a co-author or two who'd like to write a chapter in here.

Love y'all! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart: