Huff.... I honestly can't believe it. Why in god's name do those damn teachers constantly give us homework just before we get a break? As I walk the halls of my school to get my books for my next class, I wonder where everything went wrong for me. I mean middle school is considered to be the worst years of anyone's life yet here I am wanting them back because high school's been nothing but a pain in the ass. When I was a freshman they took it easy on us. When I became a sophomore they got a little stricter. Junior year? I barely survived that. Now that I'm a senior, I've gotta sit through lecture after lecture about the standards I'm suppost to live up to. How the fuck am I suppost to meet their damn expectations when they keep adding shit to the list!
I swear, the second I find a job that pays good money and DOESN'T require you to have some kind of degree, I'm quitting school the second I can. Sure my parents are gonna be all up in my shit for that, but they can honestly go suck my clit because they had it easy compared to the shit I had to go through! I swear, if it wasn't for the fact mechanics was my easiest class I'd be practically going insane right now. It doesn't help that Juniors and Seniors are going around making these fake bomb threats and getting their asses arrested for it, forcing the principal to make stricter rules to make sure it doesn't happen again! I mean come on, if one person has to use the bathroom EVERYONE has to go? What is this, are we back in fucking kindergarten or something?!
I'm losing it better splash some water on my face. ....... Ahhh that's more like it. Everything still there? Looks like it. Brown hair, green eyes, glasses, white t-shirt, two-toned striped violet hoodie, my D Cup sized boobs, hell I'm not even hallucinating my blue jeans or Chuck Taylors off. I think sleeping in class has helped some with that. I mean, the teachers are such hypocrites. They call me out for sleeping in the middle of class, when it's their own damn fault for giving me so much damn homework, to begin with. Whatever. The bell's ringing and I'm gonna be late again as usual. I'm already on probation with the teachers, if I show up late again I'm gonna get suspended. I knew I should've bought a watch, but I kept putting it off and now here I am without a watch and gonna be late again like I usually am. Could this fucking day get anymore damn worse?!
What the.... Why the.... Why am I so damn tired all of a sudden.... Night, night.....
Ugh... Sweet fucking hell.... Ugh, my head hurts... What the... What the hell!? WHERE THE HELL AM I?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! panicked gasp panicked gasp panicked gasp panicked gasp panicked gasp Okay, okay, stay calm. You're most likely dreaming that you're in the forest about to be raped again. Just hit yourself on something, wake up, and prepare to be yelled at. This tree should do. ..... OW! HOLY FUCK IM NOT DREAMING! OH GOD, OH GOD! SLAP OW! Okay, Richardson calm down. Calm down, calm down- I SAID CALM DOWN!!! Deep breath in.... and deep breath out... Okay. You can't be that far from civilization. Just find someone in the middle of- actually finding someone in the middle of the woods, especially for someone like me who can barely fight back, is never a good idea. Good thing I caught myself there.
There's gotta be something around here I could use to make a signal with. Maybe I can- Nah that would just cause a forest fire. But I'm up to the idea if it gets me closer to civilization. I highly doubt anything in my backpack could be of any use, but it wouldn't hurt to see if some asshat tried to sneak a lighter into my backpack. I keep telling those stupid tobacco dips chewing inbreds that I'm not into that shit but they won't fucking listen! .... Uh.... How the hell did this crowbar get in here? OHHHH! Yeah, I remember now. I put it in here during mechanics because I needed to borrow it. I needed to borrow it because my damn locker got stuck this morning and my Economics teacher yelled at me yesterday for not bringing my Economics book in for turn in, in first period. Ms. Miller can go suck a cock. It's not my damn fault the school's too cheap to replace those falling apart lockers!
Well, anyways no lighter. Guess I'm walking from here. But that's all I ever do. I NEVER get the chance to do anything else other than walk, sit, walk, sit, walk, sit, my definition of insanity. For once I wish something different would happen to me that's not just walking or sitting. ....... What the? Is someone following me? I swear I heard a twig or branch snap just a moment ago. Could it have been the same thing or person that got me out here- THAT WAS A SPLASH! IM GETTING OUT OF HERE! Okay, I REALLY should've worked out more during P.E because having lungs of steel would be really useful right now!!! Huff Huff Huff Huff Okay..... Huff I think I lost him over the wooden bridge.... Huff Huff Where am I? Is... is that a castle?! I am definitely no longer in America. Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christs this thing looks bloody old. Has to be at least 900 or over 1,000 years old. And that means plenty to loot as well. I'll admit, I'm not that much into grave robbing but I'll gladly steal from an abandoned castle. I mean believe what you will, but I personally don't believe in ghosts.
I- ugh stupid door! Move! Ah. Finally. Anyways, I don't see what the big deal is with ghost believers. I mean they're invisible, supposedly, how are you suppost to catch proof of something you can't even see? Unless we're talking thermal, THEN you're thinking straight. But even then, DO ghosts have heat signatures? They have been known to change the temperature of the area they're in, well according to believers anyways. But just HOW is that suppost to be the sign of a ghost? Anyone's body temperature could just drop at random. The body's a mixed bag in the fact it can just never decide on what it wants to do. ........... That's a hallway filled with lit torches, and that's a one-way staircase up. Yeah, I'm not liking these choices. I'll just........ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GHOSTS ARE REAL! GHOSTS ARE FUCKING REAL! ACTUALLY SCRATCH THAT! THAT WAS A DAMN DEMON! WHY DID I CHOOSE TO GO INTO THE LIT HALLWAY?! AND INTO A DAMN ROOM FOR- Somebody's coming! INTO THE CLOSET! ..... Don't breath, don't breath! It's in the room!! ......... Whew. It's gone. I'm not leaving the closet though. Who knows if it's still waiting out there.
Just what the hell was that thing?!?! An emo alicorn with black pupils with black blood coming out of its eyes and mouth?! The hell!!! That's not only fucking emo but metal as shit! But that HAD to be a hallucination. There is NO WAY what I just saw was real. If it was? I will believe in the multiverse theory. I personally don't believe it because while it does say that an alternate universe is created for every decision we make, it doesn't account the unpredictable variables like the weather, or even natural disasters. It's impossible for other universes to exist when those variables also can result what happens to your day. And there's no way to predict them unless you're a meteorologist or one of those guys whose job is literally to keep an eye out for earthquakes. The only thing an alternate universe could change of those things is a number of people who died. Even then, the numbers are gonna be either low or high depending on the severity. I know literally ANYTHING could become an alternate universe, but...... what the?
What is that? Am I hearing voices? ...... Someone's right outside that door. Well, if I'm gonna lose my virginity to a rapist I ain't losing it without a fight. Whoa! Damn, I forgot how heavy the mechanics class crowbar was. Okay, focus. This first impression is ALWAYS the deciding factor for what happens in your life-
"Hey, could anyone of you PLEASE not rape me? I'm trying to save myself."
I blew it. I panicked and I blew it.
"Someone's behind that door!" said the tomboyish voice
"No there isn't." I said backing up to the closet, "You're just hearing the disembodied voice of a soldier who died here due to.... overdose on... oxycodone."
"There's definitely somepony in there." came another more posh voice
"PONY?! AM I FOUR FEET TALL?! AM I NEIGHING!?" I shouted as the door was bust open, "........ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" we all finished
"OKAY IM FREAKING OUT, THIS HAS GOTTA BE A HALLUCINATION IT'S GOTTA BE!"
"Who are you?! And what are you doing in the castle of the two sisters!!" the purple alicorn asked
"WHO AM I?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" I asked, keeping my crowbar close to me, "AND FOR THAT MATTER, WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!"
"STOP YELLING!!!!" The purple alicorn shouted in a VERY loud voice
"OWWWWWW! Aaaaahhhhh! My ears!!!" I nearly yelled
"Now, tell me, WHO, ARE, YOU!" the alicorn asked sternly
"Fine! I am Shara Richardson of the intergalactic house of pancakes, ordering you to send me home!" I explained, although that was meant to be a joke
"GASP YOU'RE AN ALIEN?!" a very excited pink pony shouted/asked jumping on top of me
"That was a joke! Also, get the fuck off me! I don't know you! Stranger danger!" I said in a panicked
"Pinkie!!" I heard the alicorn scold as the pony was pulled off me
"Jesus! What are you trying to do?! Give me heart problems that'll make sure I don't live past thirty?!" I asked the hyper, acid drinker
"At least I'm not the only one who thinks that..." The White Unicorn said
"Okay, allow me to explain myself for real this time. I'm Shara Richardson. I'm seventeen years old and a senior at.... uh.... I forgot which high school I went to." I said simply
I must've hit my head when I blacked out. Damn, I can barely remember half the shit from my old life. Then again it's probably for the better. My life is one among MANY things I wish I could change.
"But anyways, for the record, no, I am not a hairless ape. Though I wish I was one sometimes so I wouldn't have my current strength problem. I'm a human." I added
"Really? You don't look like one." The alicorn said
"What the fuck are you talking about?! I am walking on two legs! I'm holding a crowbar with two hands and arms! Do I LOOK like I've got an extra appendage like a dick on me?!" I shouted
"I can arrange that last one." The alicorn said, her horn glowing
"Hey, hey, hey, hey! My body is EXTREMELY off limits! Unless I was interested in any of you, my body is off limits from any futanari experiments! I've watched enough hentai to know where that ends up!" I shouted
"But in all seriousness, you don't look like you've got any rainbow like colored skin or clothing emblem on you." The alicorn elaborated
"Why the fuck would I have a skin color that makes me look closer to a gay pride parade float?! I don't need to look like I volunteered for a radiation experiment gone wrong real fast!" I stated
"Ugh. Never mind..." The Alicorn groaned, "I'm Twilight Sparkle. And these are my friends Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy."
"Twilight Sparkle? Pinkie Pie? Those sound like rejected ice cream names." I laughed a little
"PFFFT! BAHAHAHAHA! Now that I think about it, it really does!" Rainbow laughed along with Pinkie
"Yours sounds like the name of a gay porn star." I laughed a little more
"HEY!" Rainbow shouted as Twilight and the others began to laugh, a blush growing on her face
As the laughter stopped, I then managed to collect my thoughts.
"Anyways, why in the name of fuck am I hallucinating multicolored ponies with such strange names?" I asked
"Hallucinating? What are you talking about?" Twilight asked
"Well back over at who knows where High, my day was NOT a pretty good one. My locker got jammed, my teachers were yelling at me again for not bringing in my shit, my fatigue lead to me sleeping in class thanks to the ass load of homework thrust upon me from last week and the following days. Just as I was about to use this crowbar to pry my locker open someone or something knocked me out and I found myself in the middle of the nearby forest where I ended up running for my life into this place because I was being followed. I ended up looking around the place until eventually coming to the nearby fork where I ended up running in here because I saw this tall as shit black alicorn who looked like it just rose from the dead or was headed to a metal concert."
"Nightmare Moon's spirit is haunting this place?!?!" Twilight screamed
"Nightmare Moon? That sounds like the name of a generic joke villain for something like Powerpuff Girls or those Silver Age comics." I said plainly
"Listen, if you wanna survive, you'll have to-"
"-Do exactly as you say, blah, blah, blah, or else I'm gonna die, blah, blah, blah, I've never dealt with this McGuffin before but you'll know how to deal with it, blah, blah, I've heard this speech, over, and over, and over, and over, at this point I get the point! Or you could just let me do what I wanna do, which is just beat the snot out of it until it stops moving. If there's one thing not having that much muscle is good for, it's that when you swing something like this heavy crowbar it hurts. And I mean, HURT." I said simply
"But you don't understand what-"
"She's capable of, blah, blah, look toots I can handle this. I mean I was once near some dangerous chemicals in the chemistry lab at ground zero and I'm still here, yet from the looks of you guys either one of you six could slip on a banana peel and that would be it!" I said as I walked past them to the door
But I instantly regretted it upon opening the door. The demonic alicorn was there. So what did I do? I beat the shit out of it until its head came off. I'm not joking. Though the second I heard the six gasp I turned around with confusion on my face. I mean why wouldn't I? I just killed something they said was dangerous, and yet they act like I killed the Queen of England. Hypocrites.
"What? Didn't you just say she was dangerous?" I asked
"That was unnecessary! We could've captured her easily, there was no need for that at all!" Twilight scolded me as I wiped the blood from my glasses
"Well smart ass had I not done it, whose to say she would've STAYED captured?" I asked
"Um... well... I didn't think that far ahead." Twilight explained
"Really? How in the holy name of fuck did you not think that far ahead? I'm practically dumb as fuck, yet I know basic logic more than you." I groaned, "Plus, why the fuck would you wanna capture her? I'm pretty sure the most basic of logic should've told you she needed to die."
"She was the alter ego of Princess Luna!"
"Who?" I asked
"A long time ago, Luna and my former mentor Princess Celestia ruled over Equestria in total harmony. Celestia raised the sun, and Luna lowered-"
"Buuuuullllllllll craaaaaaaaap!" I called out
"WHAT!?" The six hollered
"Now I KNOW you're bullshitting me and all this is a hallucination or dream. There is no way you can raise or lower the sun or moon." I explained, "Not only does the sun, NOT MOVE, but EARTH'S ROTATIONS are what causes the effect of the sun moving. And the moon only moves because of Earth's GRAVITY. For hallucinations you are stupid."
"WE ARE NOT HALLUCINATIONS!" Twilight shouted
"Prove it. Do something that shows you aren't just dream induced hallucinations because I haven't been able to sleep properly for a week. If you do so? I will eat my own hair." I challenged
I really need to keep my mouth shut sometimes- OWWWW!!!! MOTHER FUCKING CYAN GAY PRIDE KICKED ME IN THE BOOBS! ..... Wait.... I felt that....
"HOLY SHIT YOU AREN'T HALLUCINATIONS!" I said in shock, "OH MY GOD IM ON AN ALIEN PLANET!"
"About time you woke up." Twilight groaned
"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE A WAY TO SEND ME BACK! MY FAMILY'S GONNA BE SO WORRIED ABOUT ME IF I DON'T RETURN! MY BOYFRIEND'S GONNA END UP KILLING HIMSELF TOO IF I DON'T SHOW UP TO HIS STEP PARENTS WEDDING IN TWO MONTHS!" I shouted as I shook Twilight
OH, MY GOD, SHE KNOWS TELEKINESIS! I AM OUT, OF MY LEAGUE, I AM SO OUT OF MY LEAGUE! WHERE'S SOME SONIC '06 BUGS WHEN YOU NEED THEM IN REAL LIFE?!?! OW! WHY'D SHE DROP ME ON MY HEAD?! IS SHE TRYING TO KILL ME?!
"Will you please calm down!!!" Twilight shouted, "You remind me of that crazy camper from that time I was forced to go to Summer Camp back in Magic Kindergarten! Look, I don't know what happened to you, but you need to calm down and listen to me. We're gonna have to head back to my castle and look for a spell that can bring you back to wherever you came from because frankly, you are being more annoying than Pinkie Pie on an average Tuesday."
"Well excuse me for doing the logical thing and asking for if there was a chance for me to return!" I argued, "I didn't exactly ask to be whisked away to an alien planet inhabited by a five-year-old girl's wet dream! All I wanted was for my day to be changed from the usual routine! WAS THAT APPARENTLY TOO SPECIFIC LIFE?!?!"
TO BE CONTINUED....
Oh jesus I am so getting suspended when I return home.
