Glim Glam and Pie Sisters UNITE!
It was a calm, sunny day in Ponyville. For once, everything seemed to be normal. No friendship emergency, no monsters, no rivalries or fights. At long last came a day to take a break, and that is exactly what Starlight decided to do.
Upon a small hill outside of town, Starlight, sitting on a checkered red and white rug, greeted the two approaching figures of Maud and Pinkie enthusiastically.
“I’m so glad you and Maud could come, Pinkie. For a moment I thought you’d be too busy!”
“I mean, I was utterly SWAMPED with work from the bakery, but then I saw your invitation and I was all like: “Are you kidding? Of course me and Maud will come!” I mean, how could anyone deny an invite that says ‘Super Duper Best Sister and Starlight Kite flying session’?”
“Uhh...” Starlight said, scratching her head, “actually, I never wrote that on the invitation. I just kinda asked whether you’d want to go fly kites with me, that’s all.”
“Pfft, silly you, Starlight!” Pinkie said, suddenly appearing next to the unicorn, who was now sporting a hoof around her neck. “Of course you didn’t write those invites. As the super duper Party Pony of Ponyville, I always write my own invitations to parties!”
“Wait,” breathed Starlight, breaking free from Pinkie Pie, “so, you invite yourself to others’ parties? Even when you’re not invited?”
“Of course!” Pinkie replied with a wide smile, which matched her eyes.
“Right...”
“I’m glad to be here, Starlight,” Maud said without any sign of emotion in her voice. “I was really looking forward to this.”
Starlight still had to get used to her new friend’s way of, well, simply put, not showing emotions. It still felt a bit off to her.
“Glad to hear! I was hoping to finally get a break from Twilight and all my other duties as her student and just, well, relax.”
“You mean that list that Twilight made for you with two thousand nine hundred eighty four point seven things to do?” Pinkie asked.
“Uh, how do you know of that list, exactly?”
“More importantly, how does one achieve a decibillic numeral in list format… by the use of words. I really want to know the answer.” Mauds’ genius attempt at deadpan humour went unheard, or, was it just her normal voice? Hard to tell really.
The Pink mare laughed in response to the glimmered one, pulling Starlight towards her. “Oh, Starlight, I’m Pinkie Pie. I know everything.”
“Uh...”
“Everything!” Pinkie screamed.
“What she means is that she spies on everypony in town due to her ability to teleport. She has a hidden archive of folders, one for everypony in town, filled with secrets and all kinds of information about them.” Maud stayed completely neutral all the way through as both Starlight and Pinkie looked over to her.
“How do you know that, Maud?” Pinkie asked back with a questioning look.
Maud slowly, almost as if in slow motion, blinked in response. “I know these things.”
“You two can be reeeeeally freaky at times, you know that?” Starlight asked, slowly budging away from Pinkie.
“That’s basically a compliment for a Pie, right, Maud?”
Maud looked over to her sister before slowly turning her head towards her friend. “We’re a special kind of family.”
“I’ve realised that by now, trust me...”
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Pinkie spoke up, raising her hoof. “Can we go and fly our kites now? I reeeeeeeeeeally wanna try out my kite!”
The two mares watched as Pinkie pulled her ‘kite’ out from behind her back. None of them wanted to ask themselves the question where she had suddenly gotten it from, considering it was Pinkie Pie, after all. Her kite though...
“Um, Pinkie, not to be rude or anything but... what is that?”
“Why that’s the super duper special occasion pie sister kite (trademark), of course!” Starlight continued to stare in disbelief at pinkie’s ‘kite’, a weird mixture between kite, pies, chocolate bars and cupcakes. “Me and Maud built it together!”
Starlight looked over to her friend with a questioning look. “I tried to stop her,” Maud said to her, calm and neutral as usual.
“Right, Pinkie. I don’t know how I’m supposed to say this but... that kite is not gonna fly.”
“What? Of course it is, silly! It’s equipped with Pie magic!” Pinkie responded confidently.
“Pie magic?” Starlight raised an eyebrow at the mention.
“Why, of course! How else do you think I can teleport or make things appear out of nowhere?”
“Well, usually I explained it as either me or you being completely crazy but...”
“Well, duh, of course I’m crazy, I’m Pinkie Pie! Still, Pie magic is what really gives me the Pie in Pinkie Pie.”
“I don’t think-”
“Psst~” Pinkie whispered, holding a hoof over Starlight’s mouth. “Quiet now, and watch what some of my magic can do.”
Just a few seconds later, the super duper special occasion pie sister kite (trademark) lifted itself off the ground. The three ponies watched it rise and rise even further.
“So... how are you gonna get it down again, Pinkie?” Starlight asked as the kite flew out of sight.
“Oh, that’s easy!” Pinkie briefly stomped her hoof on the ground and closed her eyes. Only a few seconds later, the super duper special occasion pie sister kite (trademark) came crashing down right in front of Starlight.
“There you go!” Pinkie said with joy, picking up the broken pieces of the smashed kite.
“B-but you destroyed it, Pinkie!”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve got a dozen more at home.”
“You said it was a special occasion kite that you and Maud made together! How can there be ‘dozens more’?”
“Oh, Starlight, I’m Pinkie, did you forget? You’re asking too many questions.” The pink pony laughed as her friend slowly grew insane.
“Right. Right,” Starlight repeated after herself, taking deep breaths. “It’s okay. Let’s just go ahead and fly some kites.”
“Sure, sounds fun!” Pinkie said with a casual shrug.
“Yay,” Maud gave out, trying her best to sound happy.
“So,” Starlight said as she opened a green bag that laid on their blanket, “have you two ever actually flown a kite? Without the whole Pie magic thing, I mean.”
Maud nodded silently as Starlight pulled her relatively small, purple kite out of the bag. “What about you, Pinkie?”
“Weeell... I’ve flown a plane but not a kite, does that also count?”
“Wait, you’ve flown a plane? I didn’t know you were a pilot, Pinkie,” Starlight said with genuine amazement.
“Oh, I’m not. I just kinda had to take over after the original pilot choked on my ‘We’re halfway there’ pie.”
“You... you’re responsible for killing somepony? And managed to land the plane safely, still?”
“Hahahaha, oh Starlight, haha!” Pinkie laughed loudly, wiping away tears of laughter. “I said I flew the plane, I never said I landed it.”
“What are you-”
“She used the only parachute on board.” Starlight looked over to Maud with a horrified face. “She tells me that story every few nights or so.”
“Pinkie!” Starlight exclaimed. “You left all those ponies to crash and die!?”
“Oh please, you’re looking at it the wrong way. It’s not reckless murder, it’s effective removal of witnesses!” Starlight took a small step back as Pinkie smiled at her.
“Uh... yeah. Right.” She gulped and coughed awkwardly. “Let’s just... fly a kite, okay? I really need to relax a bit now.”
“Sure thing!” Pinkie said, smiling back at Starlight.
“Right.” Just as Starlight made ready to launch her Kite, she felt as if Pinkie’s smile was a bit... off. Well, more off and creepy than usual, that is. “Uh, Pinkie...?”
“Go ahead, Starlight.” The pink mare continued to stare and smile at Starlight, who began to be really, really freaked out by her friend.
“Are you okay?” She asked Pinkie with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m great, Starlight. Fly your kite. Now.”
“Err... o... kay then,” Starlight said reluctantly.
“OhandIalsosabotagedyourkiteandaddedrocketboosterstoit!”
“Huh?” Starlight gave out before noticing a small pair of jet engines on her kite. “Wha- How-”
“Bye Starlight!” Pinkie said happily, the engines heating up.
“What? No! Nonon- Aaaaah!” Maud and Pinkie watched as their friend and her kite flew off. They could hear the distant screaming and cursing of Starlight as she continued to hang onto the rope of her kite, now seeming much more like a rope of life, huehuehue.
Shoot me.
“See, Maud?” Pinkie said to her sister with a self-assured smirk, “witness removal is easy as pie!”
