The Bigger They Come

by All Art Is Quite Useless

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Scootaloo, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 10648

To prove that she's as tough as she claims to be, Scootaloo challenges Big Mac to a fight.

On a camping trip with Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo claims that she could beat the strongest pony in town in a fight. Rainbow Dash bursts out laughing.

To prove that she's as tough as her words, Scootaloo challenges Big Mac to a fight.

Pre-reading by the brilliant Ceffyl Dwr once again, I cannot thank you enough man!

Published 2017-10-12 23:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-12 23:20:11 UTC

The Faster They Plunge

Scootaloo wasn't really that big on camping. She'd never say that aloud, but it was the truth. It wasn't comfortable, it was scary, and it could get really cold at night, fire or no fire.

However, it was an excuse to spend time with Rainbow Dash, so Scootaloo sucked it up and acted as if camping was one of her favourite things in the entire world. Honestly, with Rainbow there, it might have been just that.

The pair were situated on the corner of Whitetail Woods closest to Ponyville. Winter was coming, and the temperature was steadily dropping, so they had decided it would be best to stay close in case the weather got too bad and they needed to return home during the night. Rarity and Sweetie Belle were also with them, but they had already called it a night, Rarity complaining about the biting cold the entire time, despite being wrapped in like thirty scarves.

Looking up at Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo couldn't help noticing that she looked as tired as she felt. Scootaloo couldn't be the first one to fall asleep though, that would make her look weak and childish. Her eyes returned to the fire, which she casually poked at with a small stick, pretending she had some level of proficiency in tending to fires. It felt like she was poking the contents of a frying pan with a spatula, and just like in that scenario she wondered if poking at it actually did anything, or if it was just something ponies did to make it look like they were really good at cooking.

She felt Rainbow's eyes on her, probably watching her randomly shift the flames with the stick. Rainbow Dash probably knew how to keep a fire going, and Scootaloo was now nervous that she was either doing nothing to help it or messing it up somehow. A light tinge to her cheeks, she lowered her stick, allowing her eyes to meet Rainbow's. "Wh-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Rainbow had a satisfied smile on her muzzle; it made Scootaloo's heart jump. "It's just nice to see you honing your survival skills, squirt. I'm glad you're embracing this whole camping thing."

Did Rainbow know she didn't like camping? Had her fear that one or five times given it away? Scootaloo flashed a cocky grin, waving a hoof. "Ehh, it's nothing. I'm just trying to keep the fire going strong. I've always enjoyed camping, you know that."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "You sure? I mean, there have been a good few times when you really didn't look like you were enjoying yourself."

"Yeah, well, I'm over that now."

In the distance, an owl hooted once.

"Whatwasthat?!" Scootaloo found herself pressed against Rainbow like an adhesive glue, her muzzle smooshed against her chest fuzz as she shook all over.

Patting her on the head, Rainbow gently tried to put her back down next to her, but Scootaloo didn't make it easy, gripping on hard. "Over it, huh?"

The words had instantaneous effect on Scootaloo. She realised how embarrassing what she had just done was, and quickly relaxed her body, allowing Rainbow to plonk her down right next to her. "I-I was just, uhh, protecting you! From the sound!"

"Well, thanks, Scoots," Rainbow smiled, obviously mollifying her. "You know I get scared too sometimes, right?" Looking around the campsite, she sighed in contention. "I do love camping, though."

Scootaloo liked to pride herself on knowing everything there was to know about Rainbow Dash, but she had no clue why she enjoyed camping so much. It seemed to always be what she wanted to do when they had the opportunity. Her head tilted to the side, she gingerly raised her hoof, as if she was in class. "I have a question, Rainbow. How come you're always so eager to go camping?"

"A couple of reasons, actually. First off, there's the whole Daring Do adventure element to it, and I think that's really, really cool. Second, I was born in Cloudsdale. Camping isn't really all that big on the activity list when you live in the sky, you know. Apart from that? It's nice to get out in nature, sitting by a campfire and talking to another pony can be really relaxing."

Scootaloo nodded, but another question rose just as quickly as the last had been answered. "Do you think you could go on big exploration adventures, like Daring Do does?"

Rainbow tapped her chin, mulling the question over. "Well, if I was with her, sure. We'd make a pretty good team, I think. But alone?" Rainbow paused, her eyes on the flames. "...I dunno. She ends up having to solve a lot of puzzles in those ancient, kooky places. I don't know if I'm really made for that kind of stuff. Maybe, I guess? I'd have to practice."

"What about fighting?" Scootaloo asked, her curiosity growing. "Daring Do fights loads of bad ponies and weird creatures, do you think you'd be any good at that?"

"Ah, I wouldn't have no problem there," Rainbow said between a laugh, "I've fought changelings before, ponies, heck, I even roundhouse kicked a dragon one time. I doubt I'd have any trouble."

"You know any ponies that could beat you in a fight?"

"Pfft, tons, kid! You do realise I know every princess in Equestria, right? One zap from their horns and I'd be done, no two ways about it."

"What if they couldn't use their magic? Then it would be a fair fight, right?"

"I dunno, kid, it's a weird question. When am I ever gonna have to fight one of the princesses? I don't really care if I could beat 'em."

"Hmm, okay..." Suddenly, Scootaloo had an idea, and she jumped up with a buzz of her wings. "What about in Ponyville? Do you think there are any ponies that could beat you there?"

Rainbow's eyes narrowed, Scootaloo worried she might have been judging her. "Look, Scoots. Just because I'm comptetive, that doesn't mean I go around thinking about which ponies I could beat up. The ponies in Ponyville are our friends, so why would it matter?"

"But it's hypothetical!" Scootaloo shouted, defiant. "I'm only asking because I'm curious, I don't really expect you to go around asking other ponies to fight you."

To Scootaloo's relief, Rainbow's face seemed to relax. "Hypothetical, huh? Good. For a second, I was actually worried that you wanted to see me fight our friends, or something. Yeah, I can dig that."

"Sooo, who would you have a tough time with? Bulk Biceps?"

"Heh, no way. He's strong as heck, sure, but I can move so much faster than him, plus I know everywhere to hit. I'm a black belt, remember?"

Scootaloo did vaguely recall her mentioning that in the past. "In which martial art?"

"All of them, obviously."

"Alright, alright, I'll take your word for it. Hmm, what about Twilight?"

Rainbow's answer was instant. "On a good day, yes, on a bad day, no. With the element of surprise, sure. If she got one of those spells off on me, I'd be toast though."

Suddenly, the gears started turning in Scootaloo's head. "You've thought about it before!"

"Only with Twilight!" Rainbow defended, a light blush on her cheeks. "We get in some pretty heated arguments sometimes, I guess it's only natural I wonder if I could take her on."

"Well hey, if you think you could beat an alicorn, who else in Ponyville is gonna stand a chance?"

"Ehh, I can think of one I wouldn't wanna get on the wrong side of."

"Really?" Scootaloo jumped in place, aware she was more excited than she should have been. "No way! Who is it, Rainbow?"

"Big Mac. I know he's not as big as Bulk Biceps, but I'll bet you he's stronger, and he can move too. That stallion could probably knock me into next week if I so much as slowed down for a second, it wouldn't be pretty."

In her elation, Scootaloo said a very stupid thing. So stupid that she was painfully aware of how ludicrous her words were even as she spoke them. "I bet I could beat him in a fight."

Rainbow simply looked at her, her whole body stiff. "Y-you?” she snickered, “Beat Bic Mac... In a fight?"

Scootaloo knew the notion was completely ridiculous, but she had said it now, she couldn't back down. Putting a scrappy look on her face, she buzzed her wings and rose onto her hind legs, puffing her chest out. "Well, yeah, why not? If you don't believe me, let me at him!"

Rainbow fell over, and then started convulsing, rolling back and forth. Her laughter was actually that intense.

Feeling her face burn only served to rile her up more. Did Rainbow Dash really think that she hadn’t a chance in hell? "I could! I'll prove it!"

Between howls of laughter, Rainbow attempted to sit up straight. "K-kid, there's no way. I mean, if I couldn't do it, how could a little filly manage to—"

Aware she was digging herself a hole, Scootaloo continued. "Hey! I'm not just a little filly, I'm tough! And you know what? When I do fight Big Mac and win, you'll see that!"

Rainbow's laughter trailed off, and her face became both straight and worried. "Scootaloo, I really hope you aren't serious. I'm pretty sure Big Mac wouldn't fight you anyway, but if he did, he would crush you. You're like, what, ten percent of the size of him? There's no way you could do it." Frowning, Rainbow put a hoof on Scootaloo's withers. "Listen to me. Talking about fighting is okay, actually wanting to fight other ponies isn't. The only reason I've been in fights before is because I've had to deal with some very bad ponies in the past, Big Mac ain't one of them."

"Alright, alright." Scootaloo nodded, "So, again, hypothetically..."

"Hypothetically," Rainbow echoed, breathing a sigh of relief.

"If I could beat Big Mac in a fight, that'd make me, like, the baddest filly in Ponyville, right?"

"Pfft, Ponyville? Try the baddest filly in Equestria! No one would ever wanna mess with you again, after they heard about that. I'd probably have to hire you as a bodyguard, or something."

Scootaloo felt her body inflate as she heard those words. Realising how excited she felt at the prospect, she quickly diverted the conversation. She knew it was a ridiculous idea, and that Rainbow had just strongly advised she not even consider it, but the payoff was so enticing. The idea of ponies thinking she was that strong, or Rainbow being that impressed, it motivated her to do something she was entirely sure she shouldn't have been thinking about doing at all.

When the fire began to fizzle out, the last embers of their conversation were burning away too, and soon they retired to their tent, each getting in their separate sleeping bags. Rainbow was out like a light, but for once, Scootaloo didn't lay there in fear of the dark, silent woods. She thought only of how she could possibly beat Big Macintosh in a fight, how she could convince him that fighting her was even worth his time, and as she schemed, she felt a big smile beginning to take over her features, until her excitement was written all the way across her face.

Now was the time to sleep. But tomorrow? Tomorrow she would put a plan into motion, and she would show Rainbow—no, show everyone just how awesome she really was.

Scootaloo's thoughts brought about a funny roadblock named logic. She had been musing on the idea all day, but unfortunately, she had to face reality. The fact of the matter was that not only was Big Mac stronger than her, he was also older, faster, and more nimble. It was like Rainbow Dash had said the night before, when she had been too stubborn and excited to listen: There was no way Scootaloo could beat Big Mac in a fair fight.

That thought opened her mind up to another possibility. Who said she had to fight fair? Maybe that was it, maybe that was the work around she was looking for. If Scootaloo could just find a way to trick Big Mac into losing a fight with her, then whether she was stronger than him or not, the only detail that would really matter, the only thing that ponies would really remember was that Big Mac had got into a fight with Scootaloo and lost.

Now it was just a matter of working out how to trick him. It was that or training her entire body for months, just so she could be a fifth as strong as him. She knew that learning to fight alone wouldn't cut it, so she concluded to use trickery. There was nothing wrong with that, after all. It wasn't as if Big Mac would get ridiculed for being beaten by her, all he'd have to do is look at whoever made fun at him and they'd soon shut up. Yeah, this could work for everyone.

Focusing on the sheet of maths questions in front of her, she began to tap one of her hind legs against the desk in the classroom. Everypony was talking, rather than doing the work, so no one complained. She thought about asking Zecora for a potion that would make her extra fast and strong, but she worried that if she tried that she might hurt Big Mac, she didn't want that. She considered cheating by using a prop of some kind, but she didn't want to be caught doing that either, that might just make Big Mac angry. But that would be fine, even if he was angry he wouldn’t really hurt her, right?.

Scootaloo was thinking about where she could buy tranquiliser darts when Sweetie Belle called her name from the desk adjacent. "Hey, Scootaloo, what's up? You look really zoned out right now."

"Yeah, you look like you're plannin' a robbery or something," Apple Bloom weighed in, "Which, knowin' you, wouldn't shock me too much."

"Well, something like that," Scootaloo admitted. Looking around the class and concluding that no one was paying a shred of attention to their conversation, she decided to continue, gesturing towards Apple Bloom. "Alright, this is gonna sound weird, but I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm thinking about how I could beat your brother in a fight."

"Well, you couldn't," Apple Bloom stated as if it was fact. "Like, seriously, I've seen my brother uproot a tree with two hooves before. He'd snap you in two."

Averting her eyes, Scootaloo nodded. "Yeah, I heard something similar before. That's why I'm thinking about how I could do it sneakily, you know? Catch him off guard, or something."

"My brother ain't stupid," Apple Bloom said, "I can bet you he'd see through any tricks you try pullin' out your mane."

"Yeah, but would he be expecting those tricks to come from a sweet, innocent filly?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Exactly!" Scootaloo nodded ecstatically, "I bet I could take him by surprise!"

"Hold on," Apple Bloom raised a hoof, a mocking smile on her lips, "You, sweet and innocent? I mean, if it was Sweetie Belle, sure, but you look like one of them fillies that tries to bite anypony that comes too near, you hear?"

"Gee, Apple Bloom, I love you too."

"Just sayin' it how I see it. But what I don't get is," Apple Bloom's eyes narrowed, "What makes you think that fighting my brother's such a great idea anyways? Seems awfully silly, even for you."

"Isn't it obvious?" Sweetie Belle jumped up in her seat, "If Scootaloo can beat Big Macintosh in a fight, then she'll look really cool! That is what this is about, right, Scootaloo?"

Was she that easy to read? "Ehh, pretty much. Me and Rainbow Dash were talking about it yesterday, and—"

"Oh, of course Rainbow Dash has somethin' to do with it," Apple Bloom laughed. Suddenly, she flinched, her ears twitching as her brow furrowed. "Hold on, you mean you an' Rainbow Dash were talkin' 'bout fightin' my brother?"

"Hypothetically!" Scootaloo waved two hooves, trying to calm Apple Bloom, "And I'm the one who brought it up, not her."

"Well if it's hypothetical, why are you talkin' about really fightin' him? What makes you think he'll even fight you? My brother's gentle, and you ain't even half his size!"

"Well, because I realised how utterly, stupendously rad it would be if I actually managed to take him on and beat him. Ponies would never shut up about it! That's how ponies would remember me until I finished school," Standing on her chair, she put a hoof to her chest and announced proudly: "Scootaloo, the filly that beat Big Macintosh."

She drew a couple of stares from around the class, but thankfully no one—including Cheerilee—seemed to hear her. Chuckling nervously, realising that she probably looked like a total idiot, she clambered back down onto her seat as Sweetie Belle giggled aloud.

"Honestly, I think this sounds really darn stupid," Apple Bloom said, eyebrow raised, "And I'm wonderin' if you need your head checked. But I'll help you anyway, 'cause I reckon you'd just get yourself hurt otherwise. How about you, Sweetie Belle?" she asked, looking at her expectantly.

Around three seconds passed before Sweetie Belle reacted, her eyes lighting up. "Oh! Me too! I bet together we can pull this off!" Rubbing a hoof against her chin, she produced a soft 'hmm' sound. "...I think one of the hardest parts is going to be getting Big Macintosh to actually wanna fight you. And then, after that, the second hardest part is going to be actually fighting him and winning." Sweetie Belle blinked, cocking her head. "And not getting hurt. Thinking about it, those all sound equally difficult... Why are we doing this again?"

"Because Scootaloo's desperate for Rainbow Dash's praise, and hey, it's been a while since the three of us acted on some harebrained scheme together, should be fun." Apple Bloom grinned.

"No arguing with that, I guess," Sweetie Belle nodded, "And hey, this should be fun! No one's gonna get hurt though, right?"

"I can almost guarantee it," Scootaloo nodded.

"Oh yeah, no telling what might happen when the big bad Scootaloo breaks out of her cage," Apple Bloom drawled, dragging her eyes around her skull.

Sweetie Belle snickered; Scootaloo growled.

Hours of scheming and planning had helped the Crusaders to establish one thing: Scootaloo definitely couldn't take Big Mac one on one. A little time watching him on the farm confirmed it. With a single hoofed strike, he could shake an entire tree to its foundations, and he pulled that heavy cart for hours every single day. Scootaloo snuck over when he took a break to see if she could pull the cart herself, a solid minute of straining, pulling, and running on the spot saw the cart move about five inches.

Scootaloo was getting sick of waiting. She wasn't a patient pony at the best of times, but all of this stalling, planning, and gathering intel was really starting to take its toll on her. If she had her way, she would waltz straight up to Big Mac and challenge him to a fight. After thinking it over for a few minutes, she realised it was probably best to plant the notion in Big Mac's mind now, so he'd be more receptive to fighting her when the time came. Not waiting to consult the other crusaders, she climbed atop his cart and waited for him.

Sweetie Belle stuck her head out of a bush, worry painted across her face. "Scootaloo! What are you doing?!"

"Yeah, seriously, Scootaloo, get off the apple cart." Apple Bloom added.

"No, no, guys, watch this, it's gonna be great." Inside, Scootaloo had to tell herself she was confident about her next actions. She had to remind herself that this was all for a good reason, and that it would pay off sooner or later. She waited and waited, her friends willing her to come back to the safety of the bush, but she paid them no heed. Soon, her stubbornness was rewarded, as she saw Big Mac walking his way back to the apple cart, his eyes trained on her. He didn't say anything, but Scootaloo could see the curious expression on his face.

When he was nice and close, Scootaloo bucked the top basket of apples off the cart with all of her might, sending it toppling down the side of the cart and down towards the floor. Scootaloo sat on her pedestal atop the cart with a mighty grin as she watched the results of her actions unfold. That was until her jaw went slack.

Big Mac was scarily fast, almost as fast as Rainbow Dash. With a deft, seamless movement, he pushed off his front hooves with force, leaping to the upturned basket of apples and managing to prevent at least half of them from spilling to the floor. Meanwhile, Scootaloo merely trembled, softly muttering to herself. "Th-there's no way... He just crossed ten feet in like, a second, that's—"

She didn't get to comment further on his near instantaneous movement, as he was currently staring her down. "Scootaloo, what're you doin' up there? You just went an' knocked over all my apples like a bunch of skittles. Get down, please."

This was it, the pivotal moment which would set Scootaloo up for the rest of her plan. Smiling a facetious smile, she looked down on Big Mac from her vantage point, a rare privilege. "I did it on purpose," she said in her most casual voice, examining the back of her hoof, "looked like fun. What you gonna do about it?" This was it. She was playing with fire now, there was no way that Big Mac couldn't get angry, that he wouldn't want to fight her, that he wouldn't play into her hooves.

Big Mac had a light frown on his muzzle, but his voice was calm. "I'll have a good mind to talk to your parents if you carry on with this behaviour, young filly. This ain't like you, Scootaloo, you ain't never done nothin' like that. Now, please get down."

Okay, that just tremendously backfired. Scootaloo bowed her head on instinct, muttering 'yes, sir' as she climbed down from the cart, eyes to the floor as she walked back into the bush. She stole a glance at Big Mac, whose eyes followed her the entire time. He looked more than a little confused when Scootaloo started walking towards a bush, but nevertheless, Scootaloo saw him shrug it off and keep walking from inside.

"What the heck was that?!" Apple Bloom hissed.

"Oh, right, I forgot you guys were here," Scootaloo admitted, her voice slightly shaky. "I thought that if I could make him mad, he would be more interested in fighting me in future, but he didn't really seem to get mad. Not even half as mad as he was during the whole Gabby Gums thing. Plus," she shuddered, "he threatened to tell my parents. They're still getting over the last time I broke the rules, one more and I'll get grounded for weeks."

"So, basically, you got nowhere," Apple Bloom summarised.

"Actually..." Sweetie Belle jolted in the constricted bush, knocking into both of her friends, "I think you might have mentioned something we can use... He got pretty upset over the whole Gabby Gums thing, didn't he? Do you think it was because we invaded his privacy? Or maybe he was just piling on with the rest of the town?"

"Maybe a bit of both?" Scootaloo offered, unsure. "I don't really wanna do that again. I wanna annoy him, not upset him, Sweetie Belle. Good thought though." At that moment, Scootaloo had a thought. Shouldn't she have been asking the pony that was around him most what the best way to annoy him was? "Hey, Apple Bloom. What do you do that makes Big Mac tick?"

"I dunno to be honest, Big Mac always seems pretty placid, if I'm honest."

"Hey," Sweetie Belle said, "Have you ever noticed that he never takes that round thing off his neck?"

"Hey, good thought!" Scootaloo cheered, "We'll just take that, and then—"

"Three problems with that," Apple Bloom interjected, "First off, that thing you're talkin' about is a yoke, and Big Mac's got like ten of 'em. Second, he does take 'em off from time to time around the house, but that's only when he's sleepin'. Third, how you gettin' close enough to him to take that heavy thing off him without him noticin'?"

Scootaloo sighed, settling on her haunches. "Alright, we'll put a pin in that one."

"I know!" Sweetie Belle announced, bumping her head against the pair of them at once.

"Okay, we really need to get out of this bush..." Scootaloo rubbed the fresh welt on her head as she spoke, "Coast was clear like five minutes ago."

"But it's cosy in here!" Sweetie Belle protested, "It's our planning bush!"

"Uhh, Sweetie?" Apple Bloom started, looking at Sweetie Belle with slight worry as she climbed out, "it's jus' a regular bush like any other."

"No it isn't! We hid in this bush while we were spying on Big Mac and Cheerilee!"

"...I ain't even gonna question how you 'member that, but I'll take your word for it. Come to think of it, even that didn't really rile him up all that much. I feel like we're gonna have to pull out the big guns."

"What about when we do succeed in making him wanna fight Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle asked, "What happens then?"

"Uhh, I haven't really thought that far ahead yet." Scootaloo admitted. It was true, while she was beginning to have a rough idea of how she wanted to go about getting Big Mac to say yes, she couldn't think of any solution to going about the act itself, no matter how much thought she put into it.

"We could ask Twilight?" Apple Bloom suggested, "She always seems to know what's best."

"Ask Twilight?!" Scootaloo repeated, incredulous. "Did you get hit on the head or something?"

"Well, yeah, we both just did." Apple Bloom remarked, gesturing to the little mark on her forehead. "But seriously, I think if we worded it right, we could ask her without her gettin' all worried an' tryin' to stop us. Just tell her it's got somethin' to do with research, you know?"

Scootaloo's tail flicked back and forth as she thought it over. "I'm pretty sure we'd have to come up with something more convincing than 'research'."

Sweetie Belle daintily shook her head. "Nah, that'd probably do it. This is Twilight we're talking about."

The other fillies nodded in accord.

The conversation with Twilight had gone better than they expected, but worse than they needed it to. While she was clearly intrigued by their reasoning behind Scootaloo wanting to fight Big Mac—something they had made up pertaining to strength and physiology and how different tribes of pony of different ages react under strain—she said she couldn't condone fighting, much less between two of her friends, much much less between a filly and a grown stallion.

Dejected but still hopeful, Scootaloo had tried to glean a few ideas from Twilight by discussing the theory of them fighting. Twilight had remarked that there was little to no chance that Scootaloo could beat him in a fight, and said that if she was a more confident flier, her being a pegasus might be the one advantage she had over him.

That felt like useless information. What good was it being a pegasus if she couldn't do what pegasi did best? If anything, it worked against her, as pegasus bones were more hollow than those of earth ponies, closer to avians in anatomy, and that made her a little less durable.

The upshot of all this was that Big Mac would most likely snap her like a twig in two seconds flat, and that her only way to avoid that would be to be incredibly fast on her feet. She had broached the topic of using a big opponent's weight against them with Twilight, but she quickly dismissed the idea, saying that only worked on ponies that had bad balance and coordination, or didn't know how to fight. A brief conversation with Apple Bloom confirmed that Big Mac did know how to fight, he had wrestled with friends and family members in his youth and he most often won.

Scootaloo wished she had known that sooner. In fact, there were many details she wished she had been able to process beforehand, things that might have influenced her choice. Still, she was committed now, and she hadn't put almost a week's worth of planning into this just to give up. She would go to Twilight again if she had to, keep going until she won her over. She would keep watching Big Mac, as would her friends, and hopefully she could glean a little information that would be useful in their oncoming scrap.

It was hard to believe that this was all for bravado, all for Rainbow Dash's affection, and the respect of everypony around her. Still, that made it even more worth it. If Scootaloo could pull this off, she would be a legend. If people realised how she did it, that would just make her seem smart to boot. First off, Scootaloo had to work out how she was going to do it herself.

Still, if it meant impressing Rainbow, Scootaloo would happily do all of that and much more. The reverence she'd receive from the rest of Ponyville was just a bonus. Scootaloo vaguely wished she could speak to Rainbow Dash about all of this, but she knew that if she did, she would only tell her off again. No, Rainbow could only know once it had already happened. Then, it would be too late to tell her off, and she'd be too busy being in shock and wonder to do so anyway. If Scootaloo could do something that even Rainbow was reluctant to attempt, Rainbow would always see her as the coolest ever.

Studying Big Mac became like homework. Homework she actually wanted to do. She learned his work schedule, his likes, and even his sleeping schedule, but none of it told her just what she could do to win.

Only the other hand, she thought she had made a little bit of progress in making him angry. She would do little things around the farm, such as misplacing something he needed, of holding him up for pointless conversations, or generally being snarky. The balance she looked for was between being so subtle that he wouldn't care, and being so rude that he would threaten to tell her parents again. It seemed to work, as even though he was still polite and calm to her face, Scootaloo could hear him withholding a sigh every time she approached him.

Even on sleepovers she had persisted, draining the last half of his cup of warm cider while he was looking, then proceeding to fill it up in front of him and not offer him any. If there was a prize for the most irritating pony in Equestria, Scootaloo was pretty sure she was growing to be a contender. She had to hand it to Big Mac though, he had incredible tolerance. While he appeared slightly angry at times, a couple of breaths seemed to soothe him, and he had only actually snapped at her twice by now, after three whole weeks of solid annoyance.

Twilight seemed to come around eventually. It wasn't all at once, but with time she became more receptive to discussing the idea, saying that if she was deadset on pressing on with it regardless, she would rather do whatever she could to ensure that nopony got hurt, even offering to officiate. At first, Scootaloo had found it strange that Twilight had changed her tune, but eventually she realised that the promise of research must have been too great for her to pass up.

It was on another day of planning and discussion in one of the sitting rooms of Twilight's castle that Scootaloo decided to speak up. Lifting her head away from a book regarding submission locks and holds—apparently required reading material—she looked towards Twilight, who had just finished speaking with Apple Bloom. "Hey, Twilight?" Scootaloo started, unsure how to word her admission.

"What is it, Scootaloo?" Twilight smiled, looking towards her.

"I'm not really planning to fight Big Mac head on... I know I can't win like that."

Twilight appeared strangely relieved by this. "You're planning on using chicanery, then?"

Scootaloo arched an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"You want to cheat, I mean. Fight him without actually fighting with him."

"Well, yeah, basically," Scootaloo nodded, the other two fillies throwing in their words of agreement, "I'm sorry I didn't mention, Twilight, it's just—"

Twilight didn't need an apology, she was clearly happy to hear so. "No, this is for the best. Honestly, Scootaloo, if you had actually got into a physical confrontation with Big Mac, I'm pretty sure he'd have crushed you."

"Jeez, does everyone have to keep saying that? I know you're right, though."

Twilight didn't even bother questioning that it clearly wasn't for 'research' anymore. Instead, she left the room straight away, reappearing with a chalkboard in her aura, which she placed beside her. Drawing a crude sketch of Big Mac on one side, and a picture of Scootaloo on the other, she looked back to the three fillies, two of whom were putting down essentially useless books. "Now that we're being frank with each other," Twilight smiled, "I can help you a lot more easily. Tell me, what do you think the main goals are here?"

"We need to make Big Mac wanna fight Scootaloo," Sweetie Belle piped up, and Twilight wrote the words down on the board.

"Okay, that's good. And how have you been going about that thus far?"

"I've generally been annoying him day to day," Scootaloo admitted, trying to ignore how surreal it was admitting this to an adult without being reprimanded, "But it barely seems to work. He gets a little angry, but he soon forgets about it."

"Start ramping it up," Twilight said, "Apple Bloom, you said your brother used to wrestle?"

A nod from the filly in question confirmed that.

"Challenge him to a wrestling match. Of course, the notion of a no-holds-barred fight sounds barbaric in comparison, so with this he might be a bit more receptive. If he says no, keep asking. You've gotta plant the idea in his head that he can wrestle you if he wants to, chances are that he hasn't even considered something like that before."

"My brother always used to get real excited over wrestlin'..." Apple Bloom mused aloud, before clapping her hoof against the floor. "I think it could work! You'd just have to really get on his nerves one day, Scootaloo, and then ask him!"

"Okay, but that still doesn't get us any further with the other problem..." Scootaloo sighed, "I still don't have any clue how I could beat him."

"Well you wanted to do something underhoofed, right?" Twilight asked, looking to the three fillies, who all nodded, "Apple Bloom, do you know the rules to the type of fighting your brother likes?"

"Yeah, they got pretty standardised tournament rules. Things like submission or knockout for the win, ten minute time limit, no out of bounds, no rule breakin', the usual."

"And the rules?"

"No weapons, no illegal moves, no performance enhancing drugs, no ring outs, no outside interference, no spells, no—"

As Scootaloo listened to Apple Bloom rap off the list, she felt her chances at being able to confront Big Mac in a ring dwindling more and more. She couldn't use a weapon, she couldn't get a potion from Zecora to help, she couldn't get assistance from her friends, there were so many things that would make this easier that she just couldn't do.

Twilight, however, seemed to be much more satisfied with this list than Scootaloo. She didn't let slip why, but soon enough she called the session short, telling the three of them that she needed to think something over, and she'd call them back as soon as possible. Scootaloo agreed, and left somewhere between curious and hopeful, but as the days began to go by, she started to wonder if Twilight too had given up. It did seem like an impossible task, after all.

Days of no new ideas led Scootaloo to become angry. Why was this so impossible for her? Surely she should be able to do anything she put her mind to, yet this was giving her an insane amount of trouble. Part of her wanted to just get it over with, to walk up to him, beat him, and saunter away the new champion of everything. She knew it couldn't happen, that it wasn't possible, but she could dream for a solution so easy. Perusing her goal had become her main motivation, and where it had driven her once in the beginning, an inability to actually accomplish it was starting to wear her down.

So it was that when Twilight approached her with an idea, she could have cried in joy. So long she had waited for an opportunity to actually do something, and Twilight had finally managed to come up with a plan that might actually work, if they could pull it off right.

The plan was brilliant too, and thinking about it, Scootaloo was unsure how no one had thought of it sooner. She had had thoughts relating to it at previous points, but never once had she realised the unique advantage she held over Big Mac, the one thing she could use to beat him without trouble.

When Twilight had suggested it, she had almost died laughing. It was such a simple plan, so easy, it was perfect. When the other crusaders heard it, they too were impressed, and all of them concluded between each other that this was what they would do, what they had to do if Scootaloo was to stand any chance of beating Big Mac. It was dirty, and it was cheap, but it had to work.

Scootaloo stood in the centre of the barn, waiting for Big Mac's return. In the rafters above, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were safely perched, silently watching.

Before Scootaloo was a cart load of apple cores and a dozen rabbits. Twilight had already agreed to pay for whatever got eaten as part of the plan, and that helped Scootaloo to feel less guilty and act more obnoxious. She'd have to give her best performance for what came next.

The plan had been days and days in construction, and time had been spent on multiple separate details, making sure everything would work alright. It all made sense, and it was pretty simple in essence, but Scootaloo had to be sure that she said everything just right, or the whole thing might fall apart. She was sure she had riled him up enough by now: The last few weeks had been so much, that she thought one grand gesture of nastiness ought to push him over the edge, and looking at the pets and grinning to herself, she was sure that this one was just the ticket.

She hadn't been prepared for what came next. She turned—that same grin still on her face—to see Big Macintosh standing in the doorway. To say he looked angry would be an understatement; he looked devastated. He regarded the rabbits as if they were murderers and those apples were his first born children, glaring at them with a commanding presence and pointing a hoof towards the door. As if the animals understood his silent rage perfectly, they left to stand outside without complaint, leaving what meagre remains of the apples there were behind.

If that hadn't been scary enough, when his eyes settled on Scootaloo they looked doubly fierce. "I ain't got no words for you," he growled, his hoof still pointing towards the door, "you can tell Apple Bloom I don't want you round here for a couple weeks, you hear me?"

When Scootaloo stood her ground, the massive smile forced to stay on her face despite the fact she had to stop herself from physically shaking, Big Mac bowed his head to level with her, staring straight at her with the appearance of a bull about to charge. "Are you deaf, filly? Get out! You've gone an' ruined my harvest, and for what?"

"Fight me," Scootaloo said, the epitome of false confidence, "get in the ring with me and fight. If you win, I'll stop bothering you. If I win, I'll stop bothering you. Win, win, right?"

Big Mac's eyes widened in shock, but his angry tone remained. "Are you out of your dagnabbed mind?! What do you mean fight you, you're a child for heaven's sakes!"

"What's wrong, are you chicken?" Scootaloo teased, showing teeth as her grin threatened to split her face.

"Don't be callin' me chicken," Big Mac said, "'Cause it ain't gonna work. Now, I don't know what your problem is, Scootaloo, but I ain't never done nothin' to hurt you. I ain't one of your schoolfilly friends on the playground neither, so don't think that you can come in here and convince me cause it ain't gonna—"

"Fight me or I'll go and tell Sugar Belle that you sleep with Smarty Pants."

Big Mac flinched at that. "You wouldn't, you're bluffin', I know it."

Scootaloo locked eyes with him. "Am I?"

"Uhh..." Suddenly, something snapped, and Big Mac went from indecisive to determined. "Ah, stuff it, you're on. I ain't gonna hurt you though, just gotta hold you down for ten seconds if it means gettin' you to stop harassin' me. Why do you even wanna fight me anyways? You're like a tenth of my size."

"Urgh, why does everypony say the same thing? Yeah, fine, whatever, let's fight already. Have you got a ring?"

"Well, no, I ain't fought in like three years, not much point in havin' a ring ready. I can get one put together pretty quick though."

"No need," Scootaloo assured him, waving a hoof, "I've already got one. Rather we use that?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me." Big Mac shrugged, "We got a ref?"

"Oh yeah, good point," Looking up at the rafters, Scootaloo called out: "Apple Bloom! You can go and get her now!"

In a flash, Apple Bloom nimbly skirted down the side of the barn, drawing a bark from Big Mac. "Apple Bloom! You're in on this tomfoolery as well!" Apple Bloom said nothing, running to the door and outside.

"Heh, guess the cat's out of the bag," Scootaloo said, drawing Big Mac's attention back to her. Knowing she needed to stall somehow to stop Big Mac from questioning everything, she thought of the best conclusion to her sentence ever: "Too bad you're gonna be feline the pain soon."

Big Mac only looked more offended. A couple of seconds passed, and they heard a groan from the rafters above, making them both crank their heads. "Scootaloo..." Sweetie Belle called down, "That was just terrible..."

"Heh, sorry."

Before Big Mac could comment on Scootaloo's brilliant pun, Apple Bloom returned, Twilight beside her. Twilight appeared disheveled and a little confused, just as they had rehearsed.

"So," Twilight wheezed between what may or may not have been real pants, "Apple Bloom told me there's gonna be a, uhh, fight, and that I've got to referee for it? This isn't anything dangerous, I hope?"

Instantly jumping on the question, Scootaloo gave her prepared answer. "No, not at all! It's just a friendly wrestling match, that's all. Isn't that right, Big Mac?"

"Yeah, I s'ppose so," Big Mac grumbled, looking warily between the two of them.

"Well, if I'm going to referee, I need to know the rules, right?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, rules," Big Mac nodded, apparently forgetting his concern. "Alright, it goes like this. When we get in the ring, the first one to get knocked down for ten seconds or submit loses. You can't leave the ring, you can't use magic, no weapons, no cheatin', no gettin' anyone else to help you, no dirty moves like eye gouging, no cryin' when you get beaten. Honestly, I don't know why we're doin' this at all, but—"

"And we need a ring," Scootaloo cut in, "Luckily, I've got one already."

Big Mac raised his eyebrows at this, having heard it twice. "And where did you even get the time to put a ring together, filly?"

"You'll see soon enough," Scootaloo smirked. "If I tell you where it is, can you teleport us there, Twilight?"

"There's an easier way, actually." Twilight smiled. "Let me use a quick memory spell on you, and I can find out exactly where it is, and teleport us straight there!"

Scootaloo agreed after some false hesitation, and Twilight pretended to cast a made up spell on her, her horn sparking as if she was doing something of note, and Scootaloo twitching as she pretended that a memory was being fished from her brain. After a few seconds, Twilight nodded, and her horn let up. It took Scootaloo a second to realise that she had finished, and Big Mac simply stared with a disbelieving expression as she carried on twitching.

"You're tryin' to play me, I reckon," Big Mac spat.

"You won't be saying that when I beat you!" Scootaloo poked her tongue out, defiantly dancing around him. "We ready, Twilight?"

"Yeah, ready. Once I teleport you both there, the match will begin instantly, but don't worry, teleportation doesn't leave you that dizzy. If you're both ready, grab onto me and we'll go now."

Scootaloo trotted straight up to her and put a foreleg on her barrel. Big Mac looked as if he was about to say something, but eventually conceded to gingerly place his hoof on Twilight's withers. With a brief flash of magic, the three of them disappeared.

Big Mac wasn't sure what to think of everything that had been going on lately, but he didn't like it one bit.

Scootaloo was becoming more and more annoying, it was if she wanted to bring him to the end of his tether, but he had no clue why. This whole thing with Twilight had seemed falsified, almost too convenient to be real. Would the Princess of Friendship really agree to let two of her friends fight, even if it was for sport? Saying that, he wasn't even sure why he was agreeing, but at least his reason had emotion behind it. Twilight seemed to have just got involved for the sake of convenience, he didn't get what was in it for her.

This teleportation business was funny. Big Mac had never been teleported before, unless you counted his experiences with Discord. Then, it had been instant, but now, it seemed a more lengthy process. He couldn't tell how much time had passed, but he knew that he shouldn't have been able to think this much in a split second. Still, it was like blinking, physically. Concluding that he needed to treat it like a blink, and that simply opening his eyes would afford him an end to this strange, magical means of travel, he willed himself to open his eyes, seeing only pastel blue skies before him, and hearing the shout of the word 'begin!'.

Looking beneath him, he realised he was sat upon a bed of cloud. This wasn't right though, how could he be? Before him, he saw Scootaloo, bouncing in place on her hind legs, swinging her front hooves back and forth like she was ready to box him. Looking around him, his fear forgotten for wonder, he took in the round structure made of stone as he felt himself slowly beginning to sink through the floor of the arena. A look down only served to confirm his fears. He was about to plunge through the clouds, and try as he might to shimmy around and gain his ground, every move drew him further inside, as if the fluffy cumulonimbus surface was quicksand. When he felt half of his body dangling from the outside, underneath, he found his voice, shouting over to Scootaloo. "Hey, I'm gonna fall! This ain't right!"

"You said I get to pick the arena!" Scootaloo grinned, triumphant, dancing in place in her fighting pose.

"Alright, alright," Big Mac panicked, feeling his body slip away even as he spoke. "Alright, we can fight up here, but get Twilight to cast one of them cloudwalkin' spells on me!"

"Nuh-uh!" Scootaloo practically hopped in place, bouncing from one hoof to the other in rapid, gleeful movements. "No magic allowed, remember? You said it yourself!"

"This ain't funny, Scootaloo!" With those words, Big Mac felt himself fall all the way through the ring, finally soaring through the air freely. He didn't get a chance to panic more, or imagine himself falling to his doom, or to even see the ground below him, for as soon as he found himself free from the ring, he heard a shout of 'out of bounds!' sound from above, and in a flash of purple magic he was stood on the ground once more, but this time it felt hard as earth.

Panting heavily, he sought to remind himself that he was, in fact, alive. Placing a hoof on his chest to calm himself, he glared at Scootaloo. "This your idea of a fair fight, huh?"

"Who said anything about fair?" Scootaloo replied, her smile rupturing once more, "I just said I wanted to fight you, and I followed the rules."

"You still cheated!" Big Mac shouted, indignant. "If I had known you were gonna make me do this in the clouds, I would never have agreed to it!"

"Well, duh! That's why I didn't tell you!" Scootaloo laughed.

"Twilight!" Big Mac called, looking up at her, "You think this is fair?"

"Well, based on the rules you provided for me, as well as the ones I've read up on regarding the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, I don't see any reason that the win shouldn't be given to Scootaloo."

"Hold on... Equestrian Wrestling Federation... You're a stooge!" Big Mac called, pointing at her, "You knew about this all along, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Scootaloo piped up, "Twilight reads tons of books, everypony knows that. That's why I asked Apple Bloom to go and get her. I figured if there was anypony else who would know a bit about this stuff, it was Twilight."

"Nah, you've played me... You've cheated." Big Mac narrowed his eyes, the panic gone from his voice. All he saw before him was a happy filly. An annoying filly, yes, a very annoying filly indeed, one that had just made him scared for his life, but beyond that, and her behaviour the last few weeks, Big Mac had always liked Scootaloo, and seeing her so joyous was a simple reminder of that. Instead of berating her as he had planned to, a question came to mind. "Why'd you do it?" he asked, trying to keep any negativity out of his voice, "Why'd you go to all this trouble?"

"Scootaloo looked up at him, satisfaction in her eyes, happiness bursting from her voice, her hooves lightly bouncing and her tail twirling in loops. "How many fillies can say they beat Big Macintosh in a fight?"

It was difficult to recognise it, but Big Mac still did. Somewhere in this whole ordeal, there was a compliment. Scootaloo had gone to all of these lengths to be able to make that claim because she—or someone else she knew—considered him to be a standard of some sorts, a strong and tough pony worth fighting. And she really had gone to a lot of trouble, making up this ring and getting him to agree to fight her, it was a little crazy how much determination she had shown.

Still, as much as he wished he could not be angry with her, there was still the matter of the apple munching rabbits. Big Mac raised a hoof, opening his mouth to comment on it, but was swiftly cut off by Twilight.

"Oh, and Big Mac? Let me know how much of your produce was ruined, I'll happily pay for it."

Big Mac was caught off guard by this, it was like she had read his mind. "How'd you know 'bout the rabbits?"

"Apple Bloom told me when she came to fetch me," Twilight quickly responded.

Big Mac smelt a rat. "Alright, then how'd you know the rabbits were Scootaloo's fault? Doubt Apple Bloom'd tell you that."

Big Mac could swear Twilight began to sweat at that question. That, or the lights were playing tricks on him. "Uhh, I didn't! No, just, uhh, trying to help out, you know? Be neighbourly!"

"...Neighbourly, course." Big Mac deadpanned.

"Alright, yes, I was in on it, I'm sorry. And the rabbits were my idea, so I'm definitely paying for it."

It was strange, looking at Twilight after an admission like that he had expected to feel angry, but all he saw was a bittersweet satisfaction as she looked at the still happily prancing Scootaloo. "Did it all for her, huh?"

"Something like that," Twilight agreed, a smile tugging at her lips. "She really wanted my help, and after a little convincing I decided I couldn't say no."

"I gotta say, I was mighty confused. For weeks she's been actin' a little, well, off with me, I thought I'd upset her somehow. Turns out she really had a point to prove, huh?" Biting his lip, he thought back to the first encounter, a few weeks ago now, when she had kicked over the apple cart. "First time she did something, I thought she was just havin' a bad day, threatened to tell her parents when she got difficult. Of course, I never went through with that, but after a while of her generally being a bit cold and distant, I remember bumpin' into Rainbow Dash and havin' a little chat with her about it."

"R-really? What'd she say?"

"Just said she'd have a little chat with her at some point, see what was up. Guessin' she never got time to, huh?"

"Heh, yeah... How strange." Twilight cleared her throat. "Anyways, we should probably head back to the barn now. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are probably wondering what happened to us all."

"Yeah, we should get back. Someone's gonna need to round up them critters, after all."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom should have fixed that already by now."

Big Mac found himself softly chortling in spite of everything. "You really thought of it all, didn't you?"

"Heh, not me." Twilight smiled.

"Oh?" Big Mac raised an eyebrow, his eyes wide, "Who, then?"

When the three of them had landed, Big Mac had played down his complaints to allow Scootaloo some time to shine, and the victor had strut her stuff as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom cheered her on. It was clear by her elation that the cheap victory had been worth it nonetheless, and was still yet to have the joy of sharing it with others.

Twilight only hoped that it could be made worthwhile for her too now. As much as she enjoyed playing along at points, and despite the fact that all of the planning had been fun, some of it had been pretty trying, and she had done a lot of work. It was about time she got rewarded for all of her commitment. When she arrived at the castle, she saw the silhouette of a pony in the first library room, lazing in a comfy chair. Turning at her entrance, Rainbow Dash jumped up, her wings fluttering as she took to the air. "So, how'd it go?"

"Your whole plan went off without a hitch," Twilight grinned, evoking a 'yes!' and a hoofpump from Rainbow Dash. "He worked out that I was involved in the end, but Scootaloo doesn't know that you had anything to do with it, so don't worry about that, you still get to act amazed."

"This is awesome! She's gonna love telling me so much! I—" Rainbow cut herself off, sobering, "...Thank you, Twilight. Thanks for telling me after she first came to you, and thanks for going back to help them when I asked. I mean, if it was between this and her actually trying to fight Big Mac, I'd rather this every time. Plus, this way, not only did this all get harmlessly resolved, but Scoots is gonna be on top of the world right now! We'll have to make it up to Big Mac though, can't have been too nice on him..."

"That you will, but you can make it up to me first. I've been helping out those three for weeks for you just so you could keep your involvement a secret, and now I want to be compensated!"

"Okay, what do you want? You name it, and I'll do it. Your wish is my command, and all that jazz."

Twilight grinned, she already had her request in mind. "Okay, I want you to record audio readings of five different books for me."

"What's that, just reading and talking? Sure!" Rainbow laughed, flicking her hair back.

Twilight levitated down five fairly thick books, placing each of them on a desk before Rainbow,

Rainbow Dash gulped, picking one up and looking at the title, which read: The Equestria Games Almanac: 400 Years Of Captivating Summer Events. Blanching, Rainbow looked up at Twilight, lightly shaking her head. "Y-you're joking, right? This sounds like the most boring book in the history of ponykind.

"I know," Twilight giggled, "And I need to get through it at some point for a report I want to write, I figured a soothing voice might help that a little."

Rainbow examined the spine, which was almost as thick as her hoof. "I don't think my voice is gonna be very soothing by the time I've read out half of this, Twilight. You could have specified that you were gonna ask me to read really long and boring books before getting me to agree to it, you know."

"Now you're sounding like Big Mac," Twilight jabbed, eliciting a small grin from Rainbow.

"Fine, fine, I'll read your boring Equestria Games book! Don't ever say I'm not a good friend, though."

"Trust me, Rainbow, I would never say that."

Scootaloo had been waiting for this opportunity ever since she returned from the cloud arena above Ponyville, her victory secured. The entire plan had went off without a hitch, it was brilliant! She was so grateful to Twilight and her friends for the help, but most of all she was proud of herself for sticking it out, for all of the work she had done and for the determination she had. Even if what she did was sneaky, even if she had lied, she had come out on top.

And now she got to share it with Rainbow. It had only been a day, but ever since she returned she had been showered with praise from the other Crusaders, congratulating her on the plan coming together and all of her effort paying off. When the buzz had died down a little, she had sincerely apologised to Big Mac, realising that her efforts to beat him must have been terrible to put up with.

Big Mac really was lovely. He had accepted her apology, and even promised not to tell anyone about how everything went down if he was asked. Apple Bloom had such a cool big brother. It was a shame about the two weeks of free farm work he roped her into, though.

Still, a year’s farmwork couldn’t ruin her mood. Give it a couple of days, and this would be the talk of the entire school, and soon enough, the rest of Ponyville. Explaining it to her parents would be interesting, but hey, that’s the price of being awesome.

That’s the kind of thing she could say now, right? She’d have to ask Rainbow where abouts she fit in on the awesome scale, which one liners it was now acceptable to use and which she hadn’t quite reached yet. In fact, she could ask her right after she told her.

Rainbow Dash was due to come home from work any minute now, and she always passed Scootaloo’s house on the way back. As such, she had taken to sitting in her front garden, waiting to see a Rainbow streak in the sky so she could call her name out. Luckily, Rainbow took it easy in the evenings, so she wouldn’t go past too quickly.
After a small amount of time spent waiting, Scootaloo saw it, that signature prism in the sky signaling her idol’s presence. “Rainbow Dash!” she called out, cupping a hoof to her mouth.

It was as if she knew she’d be there. Like a flash, Rainbow zipped around and zoomed down to greet her, ripping up a little grass as she slid into her front garden at astounding speed. “H-hey, squirt!” she chirped, lifting each leg one at a time to give it a little shake, “Looks like I still need to work on my fast landings.”

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo repeated as if she had only just seen her.

“Yeah?” she answered, a wide grin on her face, “What is it?”

“You wanna hear something totally stupendously wicked?” Scootaloo asked, her heart speeding up.

“Always.”

“You remember that conversation we had about Big Mac before?”

“Big Mac?” Rainbow put a hoof to her chin, “Hmm… Oh yeah! Oh, jeez. Scootaloo, tell me you didn’t—”

“Oh, I totally did.” Scootaloo smirked.

Rainbow appeared shocked, almost comically so. “Well, what happened?!” she yelled, flying over and beginning to lift Scootaloo’s wings and legs, presumably looking for marks, “Are you hurt?!”

“Nah,” Scootaloo said as casually as she possibly could, “I beat him, it was no biggie.”

“Wait... “ Rainbow paused dramatically, before bouncing in place, “You mean you won?!”

“Well, duh, I would of thought that was—” Scootaloo didn’t get to finish her sentence, she was too busy having the air squeezed out of her as Rainbow pulled her into the mother of all hugs. This had to be what heaven felt like.

“That’s the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever heard! You really are a champion, squirt.”

“R-really?” Scootaloo squeaked, unsure if it was the force of the hug or the sentiment straining her voice.

“Heck yeah! Coolest pony I’ve ever met.” Rainbow smiled, breaking the hug.

“Besides yourself, right?”

Rainbow merely shook her head; it took a second for the impact of that action to sink in, but soon enough Scootaloo was spinning in circles as if she was trying to chase her own tail, whispering the same words to herself over and over: “Rainbow Dash said I’m the coolest! Rainbow Dash said I’m the coolest! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, ohmygosh!”

She knew she had exploded with excitement. She knew she was currently doing the lamest thing in the entire world, and she knew Rainbow Dash was watching her, but she didn’t care. As far as she was concerned, she had earned this.

As far as she was concerned, she was the baddest filly in Equestria.