"Ready sis? 'cause I know I am!" Apple Bloom could not be more excited, it was a picturesque sunny afternoon, and all the apples in the orchard were ready to be harvested.
Applejack quickly finished her lunch and stepped outside of the farmhouse. As she exited, she could see her little sister, barely containing her excitement, quite clearly desperate to begin.
"Well! Looks like my little sis is finally ready for her first applebuckin' season!" smiled Applejack, "Come on now, let's get going!"
While Applejack began a modest trot towards the tree enclosure, Apple Bloom bolted into the orchard as fast as she could. "Hurry up big sis!" she shouted, "I really, really wanna get started!"
Applejack could remember the first day she bucked for apples, while unsure if she was as enthusiastic as Apple Bloom was today, she sure as heck had a great time! She was happy to know that Apple Bloom and her were about to have a fun day.
"Where should I start? Which one should be my first ever tree?" if Apple Bloom was having trouble containing her excitement earlier, then it would've seemed like nothing compared to how she was managing now, it was as if she could explode any second.
"Hmm, ahh, uh, no, umm" pondered Applejack as she looked around the orchard looking for a tree that her little sister wouldn't break her hind legs trying to buck. "Aha! Hey Apple Bloom! How's this one over here?"
Apple Bloom turned her head towards Applejack, and the tree she was pointing at, "Is that it!?" she irritably asked, "You think that tiny thing should be the first tree I buck in my life!?"
To be fair, the tree Applejack suggested was woefully small. It could be more accurately described as a sapling, and chances are Big Mac would tower over the thing.
"Come on, Apple Bloom, we all gotta start somewhere!" Applejack responded, "Heck, my first tree wasn't much bigger either!"
Apple Bloom walked over to the pathetic plant and inspected it. "How do you even expect me to buck this darn thing?" she said as she effortlessly pushed the tree over, "It's a stick with leaves and apples on top!"
She stared down at what was left of the sapling, before lifting her head and looking for a better tree. Then her eyes lit up with glee, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about!"
Applejack, visibly disturbed after seeing her sister "murder" a tree, followed her sisters eyes and her jaw dropped. "That!?" she said in utter shock, staring at a tree so large and fruitful that she wondered how she had never noticed it before, "T-that's the biggest darn tree I've seen in years!"
"Exactly!" responded Apple Bloom as she dashed towards the towering tree, "I want my first buck to be something worth rememberin'!"
Applejack rubbed her eyes and shook her head, "Apple Bloom, when I was your age I would've never thought of bucking something like that, you think you might wanna be a tad more modes-"
"Too late! Bucking now!" interrupted Apple Bloom. Now going against her sisters advice, she turned away from the tree, lifted her hind legs, bucked the tree with everything she had, and...!
...
Nothing. The tree didn't even shake.
"Heheheh, well what did you think was going to happen?" Applejack, now appearing smug, trotted towards a now disapointed Apple Bloom, "Chin up sis, let me show you how it's really done!"
Applejack turned away from the tree, lifted her hind legs, bucked the tree with everything she had, and...
...
Still nothing.
"This is, uh, one heck of a tree... " said a now puzzled Applejack, she'd bucked trees of the same size before, though it had been a long time since she bucked something this big.
"Oh really? You don't say?" responded Apple Bloom. She let out a sigh and said "I'll fetch Big Mac and see if he can take a crack at it," before galloping back to the barn.
While it seemed Apple Bloom easily accepted her defeat at the hands of this tree, Applejack was stubborn. No tree has bested her before and no tree will best her today! She took several paces away from the tree, took a deep breath, and charged.
As she rapidly approached the tree, she leapt up into the air, flipped her entire body around, and her legs struck the tree with a force unmatched by any other bucking in years.
Initially to Applejack's delight, something fell from the tree and hit her on the head. Then she realised what had fallen from the tree.
"A twig?" All that strength and all she managed to get was a loose twig. She slammed her hoof into her face and muttered "unbelievable... "
Then she heard behind her, the all too familiar gallop of a little filly, and the notable lack of the trot of a mighty stallion. "Apple Bloom?" shouted Applejack, "Didya find Big Mac?"
"Nope, but I found this chainsaw!" was the next thing she heard, followed by a loud RRRRRRRRRRR!
"Apple Bloom!?" Applejack exclaimed, "You told me you were going to get Big Mac!"
Apple Bloom laughed maniacally, "And give up on my first tree? No way!" she shouted as she ran towards the tree with the deadly power tool in her mouth.
"Apple Bloom! Don't hurt the tree!" Applejack couldn't bear to watch what happened next, she shut her eyes and hit the ground. She heard an even louder RRRRRRRRRRR! before a splutter and a sudden pop!
"Hey, Applejack?" asked Apple Bloom, "You know how to fix a chainsaw?"
Applejack opened up her eyes and got on her hooves. Somehow, the tree broke the chainsaw. "Well, I guess this tree really has bested me," admitted Apple Bloom, "Imma go make some jam."
At this moment, Applejack's mood towards this tree had changed dramatically. She promised Apple Bloom a fun first day in her first applebucking season, and this tree was stopping that.
"And just where do you think you're goin'?" demanded Applejack, "You're just gonna leave me with this here tree? We are getting those darn apples, even if it's the last thing we do!"
Apple Bloom stopped in shock and turned around, "Uh, Applejack? That thing broke a chainsaw, I think it's time we call it quits."
"New plan, sis!" exclaimed Applejack, "fetch me a shovel!"
Apple Bloom then resumed her walk back to the barn, "Sweet Celestia, what now?"
A few hours had passed, Big Mac and Apple Bloom were enjoying a lovely apple crumble prepared by Granny Smith. Apple Bloom looked outside.
"Hey Big Mac," said Apple Bloom, grabbing her big brothers attention, "is Applejack still obsessing over that darn tree?"
In classic Big Mac fashion, he responded with an "Eeyup."
Apple Bloom took another look outside, and saw Applejack with a rope tied round her waist, pulling something big out of the orchard, something really big. Then Apple Bloom saw just what Applejack was pulling.
Apple Bloom left the house and ran up to her sister, "You dug up the entire tree?"
Applejack chuckled, "What does it look like I've done?" she pulled the tree all the way out of the orchard. "Now let's grab them apples!"
She untied the rope around her waist and ran to the leafy top of the tree, she bit into one of the apples and began to tug. Strangely enough, the apple wouldn't budge, she sunk her teeth deeper in the apple and began to pull harder, and harder, and harder, until snap!
Applejack was delighted, she turned towards her confused siblings and mumbled as loud as she could with an apple in her mouth "Look! I did it! I got an apple!"
Apple Bloom let out a loud sigh, "You mean you got half on an apple, right?"
Applejack lowered her eyebrows in confusion, Apple Bloom was right, she only had half an apple in her mouth, the other half of the apple was still attached to the tree.
"Congratulations! You ripped an apple in half using your mouth!" joked Apple Bloom, "Admit it sis, this tree's hopeless!"
Applejack spat out the apple, her expression changed again from confused to annoyed. "Well, ye of little faith, you'll be happy to hear I have one last idea!" said Applejack as she leaned in towards her much smaller sister.
Tying the rope around her waist again, Applejack pulled the tree behind the barn towards something covered in a huge tarp. Curiously, Apple Bloom followed.
"Hey sis, you ever wondered what's under this here tarp?" asked Applejack.
Apple Bloom was more perplexed than ever, "Um, no? I had no idea we even had something back here."
Applejack bit the tarp and pulled as hard as she could, revealing a gigantic, rusty machine. Apple Bloom was both amazed and terrified, "What in the hay is that!?"
Applejack began to laugh, "This, is an industrial tree shaker!" Applejack proclaimed, "I bought it a few years back in case of a lil' eventuality like this!"
Applejack somehow loaded the mighty tree into the shaker and secured it into place, then she powered up the machine.
Apple Bloom began to step back as the machine activated, it produced a loud hum that could be heard from every corner of the farm. "Are you sure this is a good idea Applejack?" she shouted.
Applejack flipped a few switches and turned up a dial on the side of the machine with a big menacing grin on her face, "Absolutely certain!" Applejack responded.
Finally hitting a great big red button, the tree began to vibrate violently and the machine produced an even louder noise than before, even grabbing the attention of some ponies on the outskirts of Ponyville.
Yet the apples wouldn't fall, Applejack grew increasingly irritated. She turned up the dial on the side of the machine, the vibration increased, the noise increased, and Apple Blooms worry increased.
Big Mac, intrigued by the noise, peeked his head around the back of the barn. What he saw was an unstable machine viciously and violently shaking a tree all about. "Nope!" he exclaimed before galloping in the opposite direction.
Apple Bloom turned towards Big Mac, shouting "Great idea, big brother!" and dashed off away from the machine.
Applejack turned up the power some more, and that really did it. The noise was deafening. The shaking was uncontrolled. The machine started to catch fire. Applejack realised the gravity of her mistake. She prepared to run away.
But before she had a chance...
Authors note: for maximum immersion, please shout this next line as loudly as you possibly can provided that you are in a private place, and if you are reading this on mobile, begin to violently shake your device.
KABLEWEY!
"Ugggh" moaned Applejack, with her face in the dirt, "What in tarnation?"
Her ears were ringing, but the only thing she could hear was the aged voice of Granny Smith yelling from her bedroom, "What in the hay did you youngsters just do!? Granny's tryna get her beauty sleep!"
Applejack got off the floor and looked upon the mess she had made. The machine had exploded, a huge hole had appeared in the back of the barn, and all that remained of the tree was a large charred log and a few apples, all turned to ash.
"Applejack!" shouted Apple Bloom as she and Big Mac returned to the scene, "Oh sweet Celestia! Are you okay?"
"Th-the apples... " muttered Applejack, "Th-the tree... "
Apple Bloom approached her sister and attempted to comfort her, "Look, it's okay! I wanted my first applebuckin' day to be a day worth rememberin', and I'm sure we'll be remembering this for a while!"
"Eeyup!" Big Mac agreed.
"B-but the apples! A-and the tree!" Applejack retorted.
"Forget about the dang apples, Applejack!" Apple Bloom responded, "I'm sure we can all just settle down and enjoy some apple crumble, unless Big Mac and I finish it off... "
Applejack just stared at the broken machine, continuing to murmur about apples. While Apple Bloom and Big Mac started to head back to the farmhouse.
"I can't wait to tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo about this!" Apple Bloom said.
"Eeyup!" responded Big Mac.
"Apples... not the apples... " said Applejack, again.
Apple Bloom and Big Mac turned around, "Has she ever done anything like this before?" Apple Bloom asked Big Mac.
"Eeyup?" answered Big Mac.
"Eh, then she'll probably be okay." said Apple Bloom, the pair continued their way back to the farmhouse.
Applejack was left all alone behind the barn, staring at the havoc she had created, saddened at the fact that she didn't get one apple out of everything that she did today.
But then, it hit her, literally.
Applejack peeked down at what had just fell from the sky onto her noggin.
"An apple! I finally got a dang apple!! YEEEEHAW!!!"
Author's Note
take a shot every time you read any instance of the word "apple".
on second thought, please don't do that.
please please please don't do that.
