The Chocolatier

by LordBucket

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Romance, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life
Length: 7751

This is a story about chocolate. Any ponies, dragons, or romance that may happen along the way is purely coincidental.

This is a story about chocolate.

Any ponies, dragons, or romance that may happen along the way is purely coincidental.

Published 2017-10-14 20:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-02 02:43:02 UTC

1 - The Confectioner

It was half past noon without a single customer at the candy shop before the front door bell jingled and a large unicorn trotted in. A Canterlot unicorn, the proprieter judged, from his manner and build.

"Welcome to Bonbon's Bon-bon's," she greeted. "How may I help you?"

"Hello," her guest smiled, before his look turned serious. "I apologize if I'm the bearer of bad news, Miss Bonbon. But there's a dreadfully persistent rumor going around town about you."

"A rumor?" Bonbon gulped. "About me?"

"Indeed," he noddly gravely. "I've spoken to nearly half a dozen shopkeepers in the Ponyville market, and every single one of them simply insists that you're this town's premier confectioner."

"Oh!" she giggled in relief at the unexpected compliment. "I'd certainly like to think so. Though honestly I do a lot less business than Sugarcube Corner. Even if they're really more of a bakery than a candy store. "

"I actually just came from there," the unicorn nodded as he inspected the various colorful hard-candies under glass. "A certain Miss Pinkie Pie assured me that you'd be spectacularly better able to provide what I'm looking for than she possibly could."

"And what's that?"

The unicorn looked up. "Chocolate," he answered plainly. "Not chocolate cake, not chocolate frosting, not cupcakes with chocolate-flavored sugar paste or chocolate-flavored sprinkles on top. Not hot chocolate, not chocolate mousse, not chocolate ice cream or chocolate fudge, not imitation or fake or in any way artificial chocolate. Real chocolate."

"Oh," Bonbon frowned. "I'd love to help, really. But I just don't get very much demand for it and it's not something I can casually whip up. I have to import cocoa beans either from-"

"North Zebrica or South Amareica," he finished. "Cacao trees require a very specific equatorial climate. It's not nearly warm or humid enough here."

"Exactly," she smiled, pleased to have a customer who understood her trade. "What's your name, by the way, if you don't mind me asking."

He extended a hoof. "Ambient Stars. It's a pleasure."

She touched his hoof and glanced at his cutie mark. An apparently random bunch of stars and swirls she vaguely recognized as being some sort of talent for magic. She'd never learned to distinguish unicorn marks very well. Far too symbolic. Earth pony marks were thankfully intuitive. A mark showing a specific fruit or vegetable? That was invariably a talent for growing or maybe cooking the pictured fruit or vegetable. A cake or pie or even a candy mark like her own? That meant a talent for making or occasionally for eating said food item. Pegasus marks were similarly intuitive. Clouds or lighting had to do with weather, angled strokes usually indicated speed or maneuverability, and even if she was unfamiliar with the details of how clouds or rain or weather worked, it was usually obvious what a particular mark meant a pegasus was good at. But unicorn marks tended to be so terribly symbolic. Something so simple as an hourglass might indicate a talent for dentistry, or a few gems might indicate a talent for overreaction. If only they worked like any sane cutie mark should, then clearly the stars and swirls on this unicorn's flanks should indicate a talent for...growing, she supposed, stars and swirls. Or cooking or eating them, perhaps? But based on her experience, as likely as not they actually indicated a talent for levitating bread without the butter side falling down, or locating estranged cats, or some such. Unicorns had never made much sense to Bonbon; her one friend with a thankfully understandable lyre cutie mark being no exception. But cutie mark or no, this unicorn was asking about chocolate. And chocolate was a thing she understood.

"So what brings a Canterlot unicorn like yourself all the way to Ponyville just to ask a small-town candy maker like me for chocolate?"

"Is it that obvious?" he sighed. "I went out of my way to not wear clothes. I was hoping to blend in."

"Body language gave you away," she explained. "It's the ears. Hard to mistake that Canterlot flip. Even in overalls and mud up to your ears, anypony in Ponyville would still be able to pick you out of a crowd the moment they saw you hear them speak."

"Well, I suppose it's no secret," he shrugged. "I'm here all summer on a research project. It's very delicate work and the background magic in Canterlot tends to overwhelm thaumeters of the sensitivity my project requires. I'd submitted a request to Celestia's school for time in one of their abjuration chambers when Princess Twilight caught wind of the project. She wrote to me a few days ago asking me to come demonstrate my methods for her. If she approves of the safety protocols I'm using, she's offered to personally conjure up a class four permanent anti-magic barrier here in Ponyville in exchange simply for the opportunity to observe the results of my experiments before I submit them for peer review. That was too good an offer to refuse, so here I am."

"I don't know anything about unicorn magic," Bonbon admitted, "or for that matter what half those words you just used even mean. But how does chocolate fit into this?"

Ambient laughed. "No, the chocolate's for me! Call me pampered if you will, but I'm not about to let a little research project keep me away from the finer things in life."

Bonbon grinned. In Ponyville, it was typical for zap apple jam or Apple family cider to be considered "fine cuisine." And from a Canterlot pony, she might reasonably expect a love of wine or cheese. But a connoisseur of chocolate? That was enough to make her week.

"Let me see what I can do," she offered. "Cocoa beans are hard to come by, but there's a trader who comes through Ponyville every month or so, and I'm expecting her next week. I can't guarantee she'll have any, but she knows I'm a buyer when they're available. I'd give it at least fifty-fifty."

"Well then, Miss Bonbon," he nodded politely, "I look forward to making your acquaintance again in the future. It's been a pleasure."

"And for me as well, Mr. Stars."

"No need to be so formal," he smiled as he pushed open the door to leave, his horn aglow. "Call me Ambient."

The smile on Bonbon's face remained long after the door jingle signaled his departure.

2 - The Roommate

Mr. Stars, or Ambient as he preferred to be called, had paid for the construction of a crude temporary home, more of a bunker really, on the outskirts of Ponyville, somewhat near Fluttershy's cottage, but not too near. When pressed, he admitted that at least during the early stages of preparatory spellwork, it was best that his project be kept a safe distance from town. Or anything living for that matter. That admission made some ponies quite nervous, but he assured them he was working with the full knowledge and approval of Princess Twilight. For reasons he never understood, that rarely diminished their concerns.

As for Bonbon, she spoke with Mr. Stars not nearly as often as she might have preferred. It would take at least several more days, perhaps a week, for him to ready his experiment for the Princess' initial safety review. As a result he spent entirely too much of his time cloistered away in his steel-reinforced concrete basement on the edge of town. Occasionally however, she would see him completely by chance when he happened to pass by on his infrequent and irregular twice-a-day market trips that required him to walk only a very short distance in the opposite direction of the market in order to pass by her store. When he did, he would always cheerfully greet her to inquire about her health, her business, her general well-being, and the expected arrival date of a certain cocoa bean trader. Occasionally she would close her store for a brief two or three hour lunch so that they could frolic through the park together, discussing such things as their favorite manner of eating chocolate, whether they preferred white or milk or extra dark, whether chocolate liquor was best poured over strawberries or cherries, and whether it was best to use cocoa beans with more or less of a natural fruity tang to them. True, chocolate was only one small component within the field of confectionry in general, but it was a part, and she loved that he took such a deep and personal interest in a topic so close to her heart. She adored the fiery passion in his eyes when he waxed poetic about the benefits of single-source vs blended cocoa beans. And it stirred her soul when he lamented that so many ponies claimed to prefer milk chocolate over dark without even knowing that adding powdered milk was only a cost-saving measure, and that real chocolate consisted exclusively of various refined cocoa products and sugar without any unnatural additives.

Come to think of it, he was also so very kind, and both interested in and considerate of her feelings. She'd become quite fond of his deep and gentle smile that seemed to grow just a little bit wider every time he stole a furtive glance into her eyes. It was a smile that she couldn't recall ever having seen on anypony else's face before. At least, not while looking at her, and she found it a little bit odd that he never looked at anypony else in nearly the same way. He possessed all of the charm and elegance, but none of the condescension Canterlot ponies were so well known for. He brought bread for the ducks in the park during their walks. Two loaves, once he realized she enjoyed feeding them as well. He really was such a wonderful pony and she'd come to enjoy his company very much. And of course, he liked chocolate. In a town where the preferred venue for sweets was the local bakery, the significance of that really couldn't be understated. Ambient was all around such a wonderful and relatable pony, she thought, and it would be a terrible shame if anything unexpectedly tragic should happen to him.

"I'm telling you he has the hots for you! He comes to see you every day. Most days, twice!"

Bonbon sighed. Lyra could be so dense sometimes.

"And I'm telling you, he's just a concerned customer keeping tabs on when my next cocoa bean shipment will arrive," she insisted. "He's been in Ponyville for a whole week now, and he misses how easy it is to get quality chocolate in Canterlot. Of course he visits occassionally. I do run the only candy store in town, remember?"

"Don't by silly, Bonbon." Lyra dismissed. "Look at all the time you spend together. He's just using chocolate as an excuse to visit. "

"Nonsense. He's certainly not faking it. Nobody could speak with as much passion about chocolate as he does unless they really mean it. Oh, Lyra....you should've seen the fire in his eyes when he told me about sprinkling unrefined cocoa solids on his cereal as a young colt. And did you know that cocoa butter melts at just below pony body temperature? Apparently you can put a slab of it in your mouth and it will melt right on your tongue!"

"Yeah, that's just gross." Lyra grimaced. "Seriously, who likes chocolate as much as that? I mean sure, it's good on cupcakes, but you don't even sell cupcakes."

Bonbon frowned. Lyra had never expressed much interest in her work. Not nearly as much in the making of candy as the eating it, anyway. "Lyra, it's not the same. Pinkie makes lovely cupcakes, but they don't actually have any chocolate in them. It's mostly sugar frosting, with barely a dash of 'chocolate flavor' mixed in as an afterthought. If you'd ever had real chocolate you'd know the difference."

"Didn't you make it once?" Lyra struggled to recall. "I kinda remember you throwing a fit one time when I ate a tub of leftover fudge or something."

"My mistake," Bonbon sighed. "Anypony other than you would be able to tell the difference."

"Aww, don't be like that, Bonnie. You know I love your candy. Especially the...what do you call them again?"

"Imported Bordeaux lemongrass truffles," Bonbon slumped in her chair. "From Bordeaux."

"Yeah, those are great!" Lyra exclaimed. "When are you making your next batch?"

"The next delivery is expected in August. I ordered double the usual so that I might have some left over to sell after you've finished gorging yourself."

"Thanks Bonnie," Lyra nuzzled her. "Looking forward to them!"

Bonbon accepted the nuzzles. Reluctantly at first, but then more enthusiastically, and even returned them. It was so rare for her to receive any genuine display of affection and Lyra...well, was Lyra.

"Lyra," Bonbon asked hesitantly, "have you given any thought to, you know?"

Lyra instantly pulled away from their contact. "Aww, Bonnie. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking at all and I just-"

"I know," Bonbon sighed. "I just thought that maybe, because...well-"

"Because I nuzzled you?" Lyra sighed.

"Yeah. Because of that."

"Look Bonnie, I'm sorry, ok?" Lyra curled into herself. "I've just always been a real affectionate mare. You know that, right? I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, Lyra. It's just that you and I have always been so close. With the stallion to mare ratio in Ponyville being what it is, it's not like we'll ever have any real chance at marriage, and I just can't let go of how you make me feel. I know we can't ever have foals together, but we could still have something very special between us."

"Shucks, Bonbon. I know what you mean. You're great, and honestly I think we'd make a cute couple. But there's something that a stallion brings to a relationship, and I'm just not ready to give up that chance, you know?"

"You don't have to give it up," Bonbon insisted. "If you ever found somepony special, I'd step aside. You're my best friend and I love you. I'd do that for you."

"I can't do that to you, Bonnie, " Lyra sighed. "As hard as this is, it'd be a lot worse if we hooked up and then I just abandoned you the first time some stallion looks my way. I promise i didn't mean to tease you with the cuddling. You're just...really cuddly, is all."

"Thank you, Lyra," Bonbon smiled. "Even if it doesn't mean the same to you as it means to me, it means a lot to me to hear you say that."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Lyra," Bonbon sighed, holding back tears. "I really do mean it. I love you. And yes of course I want you all for myself, but whether or not I can have you I want you to be happy. So if there's ever anypony you think you might want to be with, even if it isn't me, promise me you'll go after him?"

"I don't know if I can make that promise, Bonnie. But I'll try."

The two friends sat in front of the fireplace, together, and yet alone with their thoughts.

3 - The Friend

Lyra frowned at the entrance to Twilight's castle. It was still so strange to think that her shy fillyhood friend from Canterlot was now royalty. Sure, the little book nerd had always been great at magic. But how did that translate into becoming the Princess of Friendship? Still, if Lyra had a friendship problem, this was the place to be. And Lyra most definitely had a friendship problem.

Her horn glowed and she opened the door into the antechamber where Spike was sitting on a recliner with a stack of books nearby.

"Hey Lyra," Spike set down his drink and greeted her with a hug. "It's good to see you. What can I do for you?"

"Thanks Spike," Lyra struggled to put up a weak smile. "Is Twilight in?"

"Sure," he nodded. "What's the occasion? Another recital? I'm sorry I missed the last one, but-"

"No, not this time Spike," she sighed. "I...have a problem. You know, a friendship problem."

"Wow, really? She'll be thrilled. It's so hard for her to find excuses to make reports these days. Gimme a second, and I'll go get her."

Lyra sat down on a futon and waited. Before long, Spike returned with the princess in tow.

"Hello, Lyra!" she beamed. "Spike tells me you have a friendship problem!"

"Well, don't be so eager about it," Lyra chagrined. "But, yes. It's about Bonbon. She's...well. I'm...I guess, how to put this? I think I might be a bad friend."

"That's great!" Twilight practically shouted. "I'll get us some tea and we can talk it over!"

Lyra cringed as Twilight stumbled over her own hooves to fetch the tea kettle from the next room. She wasn't sure why. Lyra was no Element of Magic, but even with her limited range she could sense the kettle on the burner in the next room over. Glancing over at Spike, she saw him settling into the cushion next to hers, taking a sip from his drink and getting back to his reading.

"Hey," Lyra asked. "Is that hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, you want some?" he said, getting up. "I can ask Twilight to make you some instead of tea. It comes in these little packets, so it's real easy."

"No, I don't want a whole cup. Could I just try some of yours?"

"Uhh, sure," he shrugged. "Here you go."

Spike held the cup loosely in the air as Lyra took it into her telekinetic field. Wafting it briefly under her muzzle, she sniffed experimentally before taking a sip and frowning. Then took another sip with eyes focused as if searching for something, then merely shook her head.

"Something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing," Lyra dismissed and levitated the cup back over to him. "I just don't see what the big deal is. Thanks."

"Sure, no problem," Spike settled back into his chair. "So what's this all about? Something the matter with Bonbon?"

"No," she frowned. "Yes. Sort of. It's more like something's the matter with me, really. I'm a bad friend. I don't mean to be, but I am."

"No you're not." Spike objected. "A bad friend wouldn't even know if there was a problem. I don't know what's upsetting you, but whatever it is you obviously care about it. And if you really care and came here to try to make it better, then you can't be a bad friend. Just one who hasn't figured out the right thing to do yet. And once you do, you'll do it and everything will be better. So what's the problem?"

Lyra sighed. "Bonbon...likes me. Like, like-likes me. And I just don't feel the same way. And I think I might be hurting her just by being near. But what am I going to do, dump her even though we're not dating? Say goodbye even though she's done nothing wrong and lots of stuff right?"

"I know what that's like," Spike nodded. "I've been on the other side of it."

"Yeah, but it's not the same," she objected. "Sure, Rarity knows you like her, and you know she knows. Everypony knows, actually. But you've never gone so far as to sit down and talk to her about it. You both have plausible deniability. Bonbon and I don't. We've talked about this. A lot."

"Does that really matter?" Spike shrugged. "I've come to terms with my situation with Rarity, and I try to just enjoy her company. She's a very special pony but she's not going to be around forever. I'm just glad to have her in my life while I still can. Someday I'll be all grown up, but she'll be dead and buried by then. It's sad, but what can I do? You say you and Bonbon have talked this out. So yeah, she knows you don't like her like that, and maybe that's sad in a way. But it's no reason for you to not let her enjoy your company, even if there's no romance. I don't regret the time Rarity gives me, even if we're not together in the way I want. Why would Bonbon regret the time you give her?"

The crash of shattering porcelain sounded from the next room. "Tea's up in just a minute!" Twilight shouted.

"I guess," Lyra struggled with her thoughts. "But at least you and Rarity have good reasons why you can't be together. You're saving yourself a lifetime of hurt, not having to watch her die and then be alone without her for centuries. And you're allowing her her dignity, not condemning her to watch you get bigger and stronger while she grows weak and frail over the years. Rarity cares about stuff like that. It would totally kill her to not be the beautiful one in a relationship."

"Are you saying I'm beautiful?" Spike grinned. "I'm single, you know."

"You know what I mean!" Lyra laughed nervously. "It would be hard on her to be with you romantically. You get that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. "It would be hard for both of us. And maybe that makes it easier for me to let go, but I don't think your deal with Bonbon is all that much different. Unrequited love is hard."

Their conversation was interrupted by the hissing of steam and a pained shriek. "I'm totally ok!" Twilight shouted. "Just used to Spike making the tea, that's all. I'll be right out!"

A moment passed in silence while Lyra contemplated her next question.

"Do you love her, Spike?" she asked, unsure if she wanted to know the answer. "Do you love Rarity?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "She was a childhood crush for me. Was it love or just infatuation? I'm not sure, but whatever it was I still feel it and honestly I doubt that feeling will ever go away. But I know it's not in the cards for us, and I'd rather set my eyes on something real, you know? Something that might actually happen."

"I know how you feel." Lyra stared blankly into space.

"Not just some fantasy I can never realize," Spike continued. "I don't want to be alone forever, and chasing after an unrequited love for Rarity is just a different kind of being alone. It's better to go after someone attainable, you know? Someone I can actually reach out and touch. Someone who would be there for me. "

Lyra swallowed hard and stood up. "Hey, Spike?" she hesitated. "Thank you...for everything. You've given me a lot to think about, really. You're a good friend."

"I'm happy to help," he said as he leaned over to ruffle her mane. "Stop by anytime."

Lyra got up to leave and Spike picked up his book. She made it as far as the door before she paused, took a deep breath and turned around.

"Umm, Spike?"

"Yeah, Lyra?"

"There's a...umm, little place," she stammered, "across from the lake."

"You mean the Italian restaurant? Mareios?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Would you..." Lyra inhaled deeply, "would you like to, umm...get dinner sometime?"

"Are you asking me out?" Spike blurted out, shocked. "Like, on a date?"

"I...well," Lyra blushed. It was now or never. "Yes. Yes, I am. Asking you to go on a date. With me. Please."

Twilight walked proudly into the room bearing both a silver tea platter, as well as two fresh bandages on her face and one on her left foreleg. And several others across her back covering suspiciously tea kettle shaped bruises.

"I brought the tea!" she beamed, adjusting her eye patch to cover the burn marks. Then with her one good eye she looked around and noticed her guest was missing. "Spike, where's Lyra?"

Spike downed the rest of his hot chocolate, then set the cup down with a grin.

"I think I solved her friendship problem."

5 - The Proposition

"Are you kidding?" Bonbon shouted. "I can't ask Ambient out on a date! I barely even know him!"

"I know, but-"

"YOU'RE the mare who likes stallions, remember? For the love of Celestia, why are you asking ME to ask him out?!?"

"Hey," Lyra objected. "Since when do you not like stallions?"

"Well, it's not that I don't," Bonbon stammered. "I just...I don't know. Never had the chance to find out, I guess?"

"Well now's your chance!" Lyra beamed. "Remember what you said about having no hope for marriage because of the stallion shortage? Never being able to have foals? Maybe now you can!"

"Oh right, I'll just walk up and ask if he wants foals," Bonbon snorted. "That'll go over real well."

"Well no," Lyra agreed. "Probably better not to approach him like that."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Bonbon sobbed. "I've never asked anypony out on a date before. I wouldn't know how."

"I've got it!" Lyra shouted. "Stallions like mares they have something in common with, right?"

"That's what those 'Dating Advice for Lonely Mares' pamphlets you used to push under my door always used to say."

"You mean you actually read those?" Lyra's eyebrows raised.

"Sometimes."

"Well, great! You know more about this than I do, then. I sure never read any of them. Besides, you have a perfect in and you know it. You both like chocolate, so you already have something to talk about. And you see him every day anyway. That gives you both opportunity and an excuse. Who knows, maybe you two will even hit it off!"

Bonbon sniffled. Lyra's overall scheme was crazy, but she was right about one part of it at least. The very first thing Ambient had gone looking for upon arriving in Ponyville was chocolate. And Bonbon - while not specifically a chocolate maker - her cutie mark was for candy in general - was at least a candy maker. And she'd made chocolate. A couple times, even. In fact she was pretty sure her chocolate was better than anypony else's in all of Ponyville. Even Pinkie had sent him her way once she'd found out he wanted real chocolate, not that fake stuff they sold at Sugarcube Corner. He loved chocolate. She could make chocolate. By extension, that meant he loved something she could do. Maybe this wasn't such a crazy idea after all.

"So this is perfect," Lyra continued. "He'll be your date, and I'll be Spike's date, and you can be Spike's chaperone so the Princess of Lasers doesn't blast me to bits! It's brilliant!"

"But even if Ambient says yes, there's still one problem."

"What's that?"

"I don't love him, Lyra. I love you."

Lyra deflated and buried her muzzle in her hooves.

"Bonbon, sometimes this is so hard. Sometimes I just don't know what's the right thing to do. Sometimes I think I should just leave Ponyville so I stop hurting you. But that would hurt you too. The other day you asked me to promise that if I ever thought I could be with somepony, to try to make it happen. Then the next day the opportunity jumped at me, so I took it. Was that a mistake? Should I have just gone home and cried myself to sleep on the couch?"

Bonbon was silent for a long time.

"No, Lyra. If you have a chance for happiness, I want you to try for it."

"But that's the thing, Bonnie, I don't just want me to be happy. I want you to be happy too. And I want Spike to be happy and I want everypony to be happy, even this Amberant guy."

"Ambient."

"Yeah, him. And honestly I don't know if me and Spike are going to work out. A lot of the stuff that keeps Rarity away applies just as much to me. I'll be dead before he's even fully grown. That's kind of weird. And if he does grow up then I'm going to be what, as big as one of his fingers? How's that going to work? But at the same time, a lot of the stuff he said really struck close to home. If he's willing to give us a chance then maybe we can be happy together. And I'm sorry, I'm not trying to guilt-trip you here, but didn't you say you wanted me to be happy?"

"I do, Lyra. This is just hard for me."

"Yeah, well it's been hard for me too. And this thing with Spike, maybe nothing will come of it. But I want to give it a try. And you and Ambient? Remember, I was telling you he has the hots for you even before I asked you to be our chaperone on this double date. I meant it then and I still do. I can totally see you two working out and the only reason you don't see it is that you're hung up on me. Don't make me the cause of you being unhappy, Bonbon. Maybe we can all end up being happy. And if not, maybe at least some of us can. Isn't that better than none of us being happy because we were too afraid of hurting each other to even try? Spike's been in love with Rarity since forever, but he's giving me a chance. Sure, maybe he'll spend the entire time sulking about how he'd rather be with her than me, and maybe your date with Ambient won't come to anything either. But Spike's a good dragon. I've known him since he was just a clutchling. And even though I barely know Ambient, he seems like a good stallion. He's nice to you, he enjoys spending time with with you and he cares about stuff that you care about. Why would you waste a second thought on me, when I don't even know what you're talking about this candy stuff half the time? Yeah, maybe you're only even doing this for me, and I totally appreciate that. Thank you. But come on, Bonnie. No matter what happens between me and Spike, this thing between you and Ambient could totally work out."

Bonbon sighed.

"You're right, Lyra. And I'm willing to give it a try. But you know I'm not the most outgoing pony in the whole world. I've never asked anypony out on an official date before, let alone a stallion I barely know. What do I even say?"

"Why in Equestria are you asking me?" Spike spluttered. "I've never asked a stallion out."

"Right, but you at least ARE a stallion," Lyra insisted. "So you know how'd you like to be asked out, right?"

"I'm actually not though. I'm a dragon, remember? You're the only pony here who's ever asked a stallion out."

"When have I ever asked a stallion out?" Lyra marveled. "I hardly even know any."

"You asked ME out, remember?"

"You're not a stallion. You're a dragon. You said so yourself."

"Oh, yeah."

The two mares and one dragon huddled around the coffee table, contemplating their dilemma.

"Why don't we just have Bonbon read a book on dating?" Spike suggested. "There's an entire section in the castle library about that stuff."

"Do you really want to wait a week for her to finish reading it? This Ambient guy's only in Ponyville until he finishes some project."

"Besides," Bonbon interjected. "Those pamphlets Lyra used to give me never really helped. If I were to follow advice like 'be yourself' then I'd never ask him out in the first place. If you two want me to do this for you, I'm going to need some personal coaching."

"Why don't we ask Rarity?" Lyra suggested. "She loves to play matchmaker."

Spike snorted. "You want to ask my childhood crush that I'm still secretly in love with to help set up my chaperone to go on a double date with me? How about, no?"

"What about Twilight?" Bonbon ventured. "She's the one asking for Spike to have a chaperone, and doesn't she know Ambient Stars anyway? She's the whole reason he's in Ponyville."

"Yeah, but I don't think they've met yet," Spike scratched his chin. "I've been transcribing her letters for her, and it's all been complicated magical gobbledygook about some sort of teleportation experiment. They know each other, but they don't really know each other. Still, I'm sure she'd be willing to help."

"Twilight as a romantic coach? "Lyra laughed. "You're not seriously suggesting that she's ever asked a stallion out, are you?"

"Not a chance" Spike agreed. "But it's still a good idea. Even if she's never done it, I know for a fact that she's read every book in the library at least twice, including everything in the romance section. That's gotta count for something, right?"

6 - The Mistake

"And that," Spike concluded his 17 page presentation, "is how we propose to usher in the dawn of a new golden age for all of Equestria."

Twilight considered his proposal. It was really quite good. There was just one problem.

"And all of this," she thought out loud, "is contingent on me being able to coach Bonbon into asking somepony out on a date?"

"Exactly," Spike agreed.

"Alright Spike," Twilight nodded with determination. "I've never actually asked a stallion out before, but I'm confidant this is something I can figure out."

"Great! Uhh, how?"

"You forget," she chuckled. "My sister-in-law is the Alicorn of Love."

"Oh yeah," Spike facepalmed. "Why didn't I think of that? Of course Cadance would know how to ask somepony out."

"Spike, take a letter!"

Ambient happily cantered along the road leading out of town with a saddlebag full of groceries on his sides. He regretted eating at home so much - he wasn't the greatest cook in the world - but his research project was very important and eating out took so much time. Perhaps after he'd won the Princess's endorsement he could ask that nice candy maker to join him for a late afternoon lunch sometime. She seemed really sweet. Not sweet like an 90% cocoa blend chocolate, more like a 45% blend. And to be fair, personally he much preferred the 90% blend of a rich, super-dark. Chocolate really should have a bit of a snap when biting pieces off rather than a squish when biting into it. But while delicious, his usual dark chocolate blend wasn't especially sweet, given that it contained far more cocoa products than sugar. That was what made it dark, after all.

"Huh," he mumbled with sudden realization. "Bonbon is about 45% sweeter than the chocolate I like. Or 100% sweeter, if you do the math multiplicatively rather than additively. Such a nice mare, we share a common interest in chocolate, and she is so very sweet. I do so enjoy our walks through the park together, and our talks, and how the light shines beautifully through her luxurious mane and how she laughs gaily while we feed the ducks. Such a sweet mare. I wonder if perhaps she might be receptive, were I to ask her out on a proper date. Maybe after an appropriately long period of getting to genuinely know each other, we might even fall in love, settle down and have a pair of beautiful foals together and raise them in a long and fulfilling lifetime full of joy and love and happiness."

"Yes, I think I shall give that possibility a fair and honest attempt without pushing it too hard, because pushing it too hard might not be healthy. These things can't be forced, after all, and a mare as charming and sweet as Bonbon really deserves a stallion willing to take the time to court her properly. Although come to think of it, I really can't invest that sort of time and attention while I'm working on this research project. I suppose I should at least wait until I've earned Princess Twilight's preliminary approval before I begin to romantically pursue the lovely and delightful Miss Bonbon as she so richly deserves. So that's what I'll do."

His heart filled with joy at his future prospects, Ambient skipped merrily on his way home, oblivious to the purple alicorn in the bushes, spying on him through an infrared telescope.

"Target acquired."

7 - The Acquisition

Ambient hummed happily to himself, his head filled with visions of a smiling and happy Miss Bonbon wearing a chocolate-stained cooking apron, while a pair of loving foals sang heartsongs around their doting parents. He was about to caution himself to have reasonable expectations and not become too attached to uncertain outcomes when a blur of purple with twitching eyes and unkempt mane suddenly filled his vision.

"Princess!" he exclaimed, bowing deeply. "I apologize if I've not been to the castle yet. I've only just finished establishing the leyline conduit. None of the safety protocols are in place yet, and it seemed best to have that finished before your inspection."

Twilight glanced over a checklist produced after many hours of poring over an unexepectedly enthusiastic letter from Cadance. With a telekinetic grip, she brought a quill into play.

"'Initial contact,' check."

"Oh dear," Ambient apologized, "I haven't properly introduced myself, have I? My name is Ambient Star. We've exchanged some letters, if you'll recall, regarding a teleportation experiment? The one you expressed interest in?"

"'Procure name and background information on target..." Twilight recalled that Cadance had been very firm on this point: it was absolutely crucial to know the name of a pony before engaging in any sort of carnal activity with them. Not that she had any such intentions, of course, but clearly if she was to coach Bonbon on asking this gentlecolt on a date, she should gather as much information as possible to properly prepare her for all contingencies, right?

"Check."

Ambient blinked a few times, beginning to suspect that perhaps something was not quite right. He'd only been in the company of a princess three times before in his life. The first, on the campus of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns when the eponymous Princess gave a welcoming speech during his first year, and again a second time when that same princess returned to speak to his much smaller graduating class. And the third time while being rescued by her younger sister from a most unpleasant dream he'd rather forget. With such a limited sample group, he realized he was sorely lacking data from which to come to a reliably scientific conclusion about the behavior of princesses, but based on the limited data he did have, the behavior of this princess was not at all consistent with his expectations. In fact, she was rather beginning to remind him of the dream that the second princess in his experience pool had rescued him from.

"I'm sorry Princess, but are you quite alright?"

"'Establish emotional rapport,' and 'generate a sense of personal interest.' Check, and check."

Twilight was delighted. It had scarcely been a minute, and despite having not even spoken to Ambient yet she'd already checked off four of the forty seven boxes on her checklist. Doing some quick math in her head, she concluded that at her current rate of progress, if she had any intention of asking him on a date, she'd be able to do so in roughly another eleven minutes. Clearly, not speaking was working very well as a strategy, so perhaps it would be best to continue?

Unnerved by the way her bloodshot eyes stared expectantly back and forth between him and the checklist, Ambient began to slowly back away while putting up as disarming a smile as he could manage.

"Hmm," Twilight pondered to herself. "'Become comfortable together even during moments of silence.' That's not supposed to happen until after checkboxes twelve and twenty-two but maybe it's because we're doing so well. Check."

"Well," Ambient chuckled nervously. "I can see you're a busy mare, and I do still have those safety protocols to finish. So I'll just be on my way, then."

Turning and bursting into a full gallop, he made it all of two body lengths before the Royal Canterlot Voice brought him to his knees.

"WAIT!" Princess Twilight commanded. He could not help but obey.

Twilight was perplexed by his sudden change in behavior. Hadn't she been doing extremely well? Granted, she was no expert on dating but she was fairly certain that a stallion running away in terror wasn't a good sign. At least, Cadance hadn't said anything about it. Surely having jumped ahead to the 'be comfortable together in silence' step on her checklist hadn't destroyed all her progress?

Twilight glanced over at the stallion groveling at her feet in terror. On the bright side he didn't seem to be going anywhere, so she at least had time to figure this out. There was one particular item on her checklist that seemed to bottleneck most of the remaining steps. Maybe if she could unlock that one, the situation could still be recovered.

"Find a common interest," Twilight mumbled.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm supposed to find a common interest we have," she explained, digging through her supplementary notes. "A hobby, or past-time, similar professional interests, or...Cadance did say that a similar sense of aesthetics could work in a pinch. I don't suppose your favorite color is purple?"

"No," Ambient replied, still shaking. "But I am a magical researcher, and you are the Princess of Magic, aren't you?"

Twilight grudgingly ticked off the checkbox next to 'learn to listen to each other.'

"I think I am," she hesitantly agreed. "Honestly, I've never been entirely clear on that. Castle correspondence comes addressed to 'Her Royal Highness Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship.' But Friendship is Magic, so I suppose I'm the Princess of Magic by proxy?"

"Well, you did seem very interested in my project," Ambient's ears flattened. "At least I thought so."

"Wait," Twilight frowned. "You're that Ambient Stars? The one with that ingenious plan to use leylines as teleportation conduits to overcome the square of distance energy requirements?"

"Well," Ambient blushed, "I don't if it's genius, really, but-"

"Of course it is!" she clapped her hooves giddily. "I can't believe I'm finally meeting you! Where's your array? How far into the enchanting process are you? Has the primary beacon been stabilized yet? We have so much to talk about!"

Twilight pulled Ambient under a wing as they walked together back to his laboratory on the outskirts of town, oblivious to the several pieces of parchment bearing both checked and unchecked checkboxes which were left forgotten on the ground behind them, and then scattered by the wind.

4 - The Princess

"You asked him on a date?!?!" Bonbon shrieked. "For real?"

"I'm sorry Bonnie," Lyra whispered. "I didn't mean to. It just kinda happened, you know?"

"Is that even legal?" Bonbon wondered. "How old is he, six?"

"Seven years in Canterlot with Twilight after he was hatched, plus three more since they came to Ponyville," Lyra counted. "That makes him ten. Unless you count the couple centuries he says he spent as an egg, which makes him older than Granny Smith. He's a dragon. They age differently."

"What about the princess? What will she think?"

"I don't know that either, Bonbon. But if the Princess of Magic thinks I'm taking unfair advantage of her ward, the fire-breathing dragon with claws that can carve through stone, I'm pretty sure one of the two of them will be able to defend his honor from my wiley feminine ways. If anyone, it's me you should be worried about."

"Maybe," Bonbon considered. "I suppose knowing our princess, the worst that'll happen is that she'll make you write a friendship report about how not to take advantage of young dragons."

"Be serious, Bonnie!" Lyra giggled.

"Ok, ok. But you should at least talk to Twlight to make sure it's ok."

"So let me see if I understand you correctly," Twilight deadpanned. "You came to ask me for permission to take Spike on a date you already asked him on and that he already agreed to?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Lyra stammered.

Twilight frowned. "No, it's alright. If it were anypony else, I'd suspect you were just trying to take advantage of him as some sort of twisted attempt to gain social status. But you and Amethyst Star were our friends back when we were living in Canterlot. You've known Spike for longer than almost anyone in Ponyville, and I know you both consider each other friends. I believe you're acting in good faith."

"Yes!" Lyra cheered. "I'm not a bad pony! I knew I wasn't a bad pony!"

"Not so fast, Lyra." Twilight levitated tea into both of their cups. "There's still the issue of legality."

"Oh."

"Fortunately for you, I've looked it up, and the legal precedent for interspecies romance seems to recognize that different species have varying rates of maturation. if he were a pony, Spike would be considered underaged, but apparently there's no legal precedent when it comes to dragons. No case of a pony-dragon romance anywhere on the books, and the relevant laws only state that the 'age of adulthood' should be used as a guiding rule. The thing is that 'adulthood' doesn't mean quite the same thing where Spike is concerned. Age isn't what makes a dragon grow up. Mentally and emotionally, Spike's a reasonably mature adult no matter what his chronological age and his size might indicate. So as far as I can tell, there'd be nothing illegal about you becoming romantically involved with Spike, much less going on a simple date."

"So there's no problem then?" Lyra downed her tea in a single gulp then sat staring, looking hopeful.

"Legally, no." Twilight merely stared into hers. "But Spike is like a little brother to me, and I've already seen how much it's hurt him to waste all these years fawning over Rarity. I don't want his heart to be broken a second time, Lyra."

"Me neither," Lyra agreed. "And it's not like I planned this, but I don't wanna see him hurt any more than you do. Is there anything I can do to set your mind at ease?"

"Yes, actually," Twilight sipped her tea. "I'd like for him to have a chaperone on your date."