I am a Cat using a Dragon as a Flamethrower, Your Argument is invalid.

by Silver Butcher

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Spike, Random
Length: 1029

Capper and Spike save the Crystal Empire from a Snow monster attack.

Capper and Spike save the Crystal Empire from a Snow monster attack.

Link to where I found The Cover

Published 2017-10-14 07:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-14 07:30:06 UTC

I AM A CAT USING A DRAGON AS A FLAMETHROWER!!!!! YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID!!!!

Author's Note

This story is stupid but was fun to wright.

I AM A CAT USING A DRAGON AS A FLAMETHROWER!!!!! YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID!!!!

It was a nice sunny day in the Crystal Empire, Capper and Spike where relaxing, they had decided to take a vacation after the fall of the Storm King, and since Spike was famous in the Empire, they figured it would be a good thing to take advantage of, after enlisting Twilight and Rarity to pick them up in one week the two of them bordered their train.

"So what's the Empire like?" Capper asked as he took a window seat across from Spike.

"Its an Empire made of Crystals, it stoped existing for about a thousand years, and the ponies worship me like a god. So I say a 9/10"

"Why not a 10/10"

"Some of them try to take pieces of me home to worship in a shrine." Spike said. there was a moment of silence.

"wow" was all Capper could thing to say in response to that" once they got the the Crystal Empire they looked around, but when Capper asked Spike for a tour Spike decided to take him to his statue. So there they where, taking in the sights, looking at the Giant Gem Statue of Spike,

"I'm impressed" Capper said after a moment "What on earth did you do?"

"Its a Long story....so let me tell it over lunch." Spike said, but before they could go any where, A loud Scream rang out, the Duo spun on the Spot and found themselves looking at..

"Is that an Snowpony army?" Capper asked

"It what it appears to be , yes" Spike respond, taking in the strange sight. an army of living Snowponies was marching threw the Crystal Empire, scaring away the locals, and doing random acts of destruction, such as breaking a single window, then walking way. before Capper and Spike could really take in what they where looking at they were sucked into the wave of panicking Crystal ponies, before they where swept away Capper grabbed Spike and Jumped up on the Statue with Spike on his shoulder and together they watching in a mixture of Amusement and confusion. On the Snowpony army marched, ignoring Spikes statue. The Snowponies stopped short of the Crystal Heart and one that was twice a big as all the other ones came to the Front and began to yell to his Army.

"MY FELLOW SNOWPONIES" he began "WE STAND HERE TODAY, FOR JUSTICE, FOR OUR HONOR, FOR TO LONG THIS LAND HAS BELONGED TO THE CRYSTAL PONIES, WHEN IT SHOULD BE OURS, THIS ONCE FROZEN LAND WAS TAKEN FROM US LONG AGO, AND ONCE WE DESTROY THE CRYSTAL HEART, IT SHALL BE OURS ONCE MORE. WE, WILL, WIN!!!" His speech was met with a loud roar of approval. And it went on for a while, until they slowly stopped at the sound of roaring laughter. after a moment the Big one found the source. up top the statue Capper and Spike where laughing like crazy.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO LAUGHING AT!?" The big one demanded. After a few Seconds Capper responded.

"Yo...you have a Mane made of Pink confetti, A party hat horn, a sparkling scarf....and your wearing a TUTU!!!" Capper snorted and Spike finished for him

"And yet your voice sounds so masculine!" they continued to laugh at the Tutu leader. and if it weren't for the fact that he was made of snow, he would have been glowing with embarrassment.

"DESTROY THEM!!" He yelled pointing his hoof at them. The crowd turned towards the duo who looked at each other smugly

"Shall we?" Capper asked in a mocking tone

"yes lets" Spike replied in an equally mocking tone. and with That Capper Picked him up and with Spikes Tale in one hand and his Hands in the other Hand Capper Yelled

"I AM A CAT....." Spike Blew Fire onto the crowd of Snowponies and melted over half of them. "...USING A DRAGON..." He turned and melted those behind the statue."...AS A FLAMETHROWER..." Capper jumped of and landed In front of the Big one and pointing Spike at his face.

"I DON'T SUPPOSE WE COULD TALK ABOUT THIS?"

"No" Spike said Bluntly

"...YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID" Capper yelled and with that Spike melted the Big one, there was a moment a silence, then Spike looked at Capper

"Your argument is invalid?"

"It sounded a lot better in my head" was all Capper could say before a crowd of Crystal ponies ran over and Picked the two of them up and started cheering.

"THE GREAT SPIKE AND HIS FRIEND HAVE SAVED US!!"

"My names Capper"

"THE GREAT SPIKE AND THE GREAT CAPPER HAVE SAVED US!!!"

"Better" Capper said "Now who do I talk to about getting my own statue?"

Epilogue

Twilight and Rarity were going to the Crystal Empire only because they had to Pick up Spike and Capper.

"Do you think Spikey-Wikey and Capper enjoyed their time here?" Rarity asked Twilight

"Spikes famous here, I think the.....they.....OH WHAT THE HELL!?" Twilight was looking at the most ridiculous thing she had ever seen, Spikes Statue had been replaced. The new one wasn't as big as the old one, but sure looked different. It was of Capper holding Spike like he was a weapon. it was bigger that Spike and Capper but was still smaller that the original statue. They went a nearby Crystal Pony and asked what happened to the old Statue, all they got out of the pony was that he was hoping they would auction the old one off, with no help their they tried looking at the statue itself and found a Small Plaque. They looked at the Plaque and Twilight read it aloud to Rarity. "Spike-the Dragon- most notable for saving the Crystal Empire from Sombra. Capper-The Cat- Most notable for using Spike as a Flamethrower and saving the Crystal Empire from Snowpony Armageddon." Twilight and Rarity where silent for a moment and then turned and looked at each other for a moment.

"What the Literal Fuck?" They both asked at the same time.