Tempest Needs Some R.U.M.
Where has all the R.U.M. gone?
Slow, steady hoofsteps echoed down the crystal hallways of Twilight Sparkle's castle. A few beams of sunlight shone down the hall as Tempest Shadow, only a few days into her new life, turned a corner and continued her steady pace.
Emptily, she watched as the candelabras and other wall decorations passed by. She cringed. She had seen some strange things in her years but not some of the rooms hidden behind the doors in Twilight's abode.
"Why does she need that many books of the Princess' private matters anyway?" she mused absentmindedly, turning another corner in the hallway. Her metal horseshoes clanked loudly against the crystal surface. Sure, she could have put them away as she had her armour, but hey, she still had to teach these ponies a thing or two about looking more impressive (also she just really liked how they felt; they were designer shoes, after all).
Turning a corner, she was almost knocked off her hooves as she slammed into another resident of the castle. Tempest looked coolly at Starlight Glimmer as the other mare shook her head.
Dazedly, the pinkish-purple pony regained her footing and flashed Tempest an awkward grin. "Tempest!" she exclaimed, a slight blush rising on her features. "Just the pony I was looking for."
"Were you?" Tempest replied, raising an eyebrow. Internally, she grinned. She always liked emphasizing the scar that ran up her face along one of her teal eyes. Made her look more intimidating.
Laughing nervously at Tempest's complete non-reaction, Starlight fumbled, "Y-yeah. Since, you know, you're living here in the castle now, I kinda maybe thought you might want to join this club that I'm organizing next week in the Friendship Room." She looked expectantly for Tempest's answer.
The magenta pony opened her mouth to say "No" but then stopped. Taking a few seconds to ponder the proposal, she changed her mind. With a sigh, she said, "All right, I suppose there's no harm in going."
Suddenly Starlight jumped into the air, crying, "YES! This is going to be great! Woo!" She pumped her hoof in the air before noticing Tempest once again giving her a blank look, somehow even more disinterested than before.
"I mean," she mumbled after landing back on the floor with a loud series of hooffalls, "that's g-great, heh heh." As Tempest continued to stare silently, Starlight continued, "Is it getting warm in here?" She wiped a few beads of sweat from her face.
Tempest didn’t say a word and moved past Starlight, who gave a quick and relieved sigh as the taller mare passed. Rounding the corner, Tempest heard the other unicorn resuming wherever she was headed to before their encounter.
A moment later, she popped back around the turn and called down to Starlight. "You don't happen to know the way to the kitchen, do you? I haven't been able to find it yet."
"Oh," Starlight began, turning around, "that's pretty easy to find." Taking a quick breath, she rattled off, "First you need to walk down that hallway to the second cross intersection, take a left, then go past the swimming pool, where you then take a right..."
Tempest merely watched as Starlight continued her "easy" directions to what should have been a simple room. After she started talking about the incinerator room, she just tuned her out. "Seriously, why does she have so many rooms?" she puzzled to herself.
Noticing that Starlight had finished her spiel, Tempest gave a weak smile and some quick thanks before hastily retreating from view. She shook her head, trying to remember the directions.
She followed Starlight's initial instructions to a T, or at least she thought she did. Double-checking to make sure she had found the pool, she opened one of the heavy wooden doors with her magic, her horn-stub dropping electric blue sparks on the floor.
The room inside was too dark to see, but luckily, she found a switch to turn on the magic lights. Freezing for a few seconds, she roared, "Why are there so many Princess journals?!"
***
A few days later, Tempest found her way to the central room of the castle (for once, it was actually simple). Sighing, she pushed open the giant double doors into the "heart" of the crystalline structure.
Almost instantly she spied a banner hanging from the tree branches in the center of the room. On it were crudely drawn images of two blank unicorns, one with a skull and sinister look on its face, the other looking innocent and a halo floating above it. Also written on the banner were the words "Reformed Unicorn Mares," or R.U.M.
Rolling her eyes at the obviously hastily finished banner, Tempest thought to herself, "Yeah, I could go for some rum right about now."
The doors slammed shut as she passed into the room, catching the attention, briefly anyway, of the trio of unicorns sitting at the large table map in the center of the room.
She recognized Starlight, who was whispering something to a light blue unicorn with a silver mane and tail. Said second mare was glancing between Starlight and Tempest, occasionally muttering an "uh-huh" or "okay."
Conversely, the other unknown unicorn, yellow, with a fiery-colored mane, offered a quick smile and wave before going back to playing with a few objects with her magic. An air of almost childlike excitement was about her as she continued messing around with the objects.
Finally finishing her whispered conversation, Starlight motioned for Tempest to sit next to her and the blue unicorn. After Tempest had done so, Starlight cleared her throat, "Thanks for coming, everypony. I thought we could use a little club for all the people Twilight has helped reform.
"Now, since I'm Twilight's protegee, I thought we could all use a way to learn new things about friendship."
Tempest rolled her eyes. "Friendship. Great."
Ducking under the table, Starlight grabbed what looked to be some kind of binder or small textbook. With a thunk, she dropped it onto the table. She quickly opened it and ruffled through a few pages. She quietly uttered, "A-ha!"
Closing the book, she continued with her speech, "All right, looks like first order of business is introductions." She paused when she saw Tempest raise her hoof.
Seeing she had been acknowledged, Tempest drawled, "Did you really need a book to tell you that?"
Chuckling nervously, Starlight scratched the back of her neck. "Well, Twilight might have suggested that I do things more accurately." Wiping her forehead, she said, "I may have accidentally created an eldritch abomination that almost destroyed all of Ponyville when trying to mix together a new spell."
The three other mares gazed at Starlight with wide eyes. After a few seconds, the blue unicorn next to Tempest calmly said, "So that's why Trixie had problems sleeping last week."
"Maybe." Starlight meekly responded, avoiding everypony's gazes.
Acting like nothing happened, the fire-maned unicorn spoke up. "Well, I'm Sunset Shimmer. I'm not normally from around here." She smiled at the other ponies in the room.
Tempest leveled her with what could almost could be considered a glare. "No, I couldn't have guessed."
"O-kay, moving on. I actually normally live in another dimension where there isn't normal magic.” She uttered a contented sigh and said, “It feels good to be back." After her introduction, she went back to fiddling around with her magic.
Clearing her throat, the blue unicorn, Trixie, stood up on her seat and began, "The Great and Powerful Trixie needs no introduction, so she won't." With that, she sat down again, smirking.
Starlight motioned at Tempest.
Tempest gave her a look that said "Do I really have to?"
Frowning, Starlight pointed again at Tempest and gave a small grunt, jerking her head to indicate the other two members.
"Fine." Tempest sighed. Noncommittally, she quickly introduced herself. "Broke horn, hated other ponies, became merc, got betrayed, now I'm here." She looked at Starlight quizzically. "That good?"
Starlight slowly nodded. Looking back at the book, she muttered, "All right... that's introductions done... let's see here." She scanned the pages, before deciding on their next course. "Okay, so now it's time to ask any questions, since this is a new—Yes Trixie?"
Trixie was emphatically waving her hoof in the air. Acknowledged, she quickly piped up, "Can we have tea? I want to show my transformation sp—"
"No!" Starlight interjected. "We went over this the last time you got this craze."
"Aw." Trixie moaned dejectedly. Perking up almost instantly, she started waving her hoof again.
Groaning, Starlight asked, a bit more irritated than before, "Yes. Trixie?"
"Trixie wants to know why she's here." She leveled her hoof for a moment in Tempest's direction. "Isn't she a little... short in the horn department for this group?"
"Trixie!" Starlight exclaimed, looking both shocked and embarrassed.
Tempest glared at Trixie. The blue unicorn remained oblivious to the growing scowl on her muzzle. Slowly, a teal glow started to come from her horn, a few sparks landing on the table.
Sunset looked on, trying her best to melt into the chair she was sitting in. Faintly Tempest heard her repeating, "Please don't be like the Dazzlings!"
Just as Trixie was about to elaborate on her reasoning, Starlight planted a hoof over her mouth. "Don't mind Trixie, she's just a little blunt at times. Right, Trixie?" If looks could kill, there would be a six-inch hole bored through the performer's head.
Luckily, looks were not magic, and Trixie managed to realize her error. With a soft squeal from underneath Starlight's hoof, she nodded her head in agreement. Taking a breath when her friend removed her hoof, Trixie muttered, "Trixie apologizes for your lack of hornage."
"Yep, just like the Dazzlings." Sunset groaned, sliding further under the table.
To say Starlight looked less than impressed would be an understatement. Her face a plaster of anger and embarrassment, she merely glared as hard as she could at Trixie.
Trixie shrugged. "What?" she asked.
"Moving on," Starlight sighed, dropping the matter with Trixie. "Now it's suggested we tell about some of the friendship experiences we had this week."
At the mention of this, Sunset brightened up and exclaimed, "Well, last week I helped Rarity deal with her cat, Opal. Had to take it to the vet because it swallowed something it shouldn't." She winced. "Have a few scars to prove it."
"Okay. Thank you, Sunset." Starlight said, give a few soft hoofclaps. She elbowed Trixie to do the same, who did so unenthusiastically. "All right. Trixie, your turn."
"Hm? Oh, Trixie has too many tales to recount. She doesn't want to bore you all." She absentmindedly rubbed a hoof on her chest.
"Trixie, I know you spent most of the week inside playing Mares of Duty, don't try to embellish. Remember what Twilight told you?" Starlight warned the blue mare.
"Oh, you're never any fun, Starlight." Trixie huffed, crossing her forearms. Blowing a bit of her mane out of her face, she sighed, "Fine, Trixie helped an old mare across the street the other day."
"Very nice." Sunset chimed, beginning to clap her hooves.
Trixie cut her off. "It did hurt, a lot."
"Did you get hit by the oncoming carriage?" Starlight asked hopefully.
"No." Trixie hesitated, her face growing a shade rosier. "She might have hit Trixie for taking her to the wrong side of the street." She glanced around to see the reaction from her fellow unicorns.
A few seconds of silence passed. Suddenly, Tempest burst out laughing at the ordeal. She wiped a couple of tears from her eye before quieting down.
"Trixie doesn't like talking about it." the blue unicorn huffed, looking down at her hooves.
Rolling her eyes, Starlight shot a look at Tempest to watch it and took her turn. "Well, my experience was inviting Tempest to this group. Hopefully she finds it helpful." She gave the magenta unicorn a sincere smile.
Admittedly, Tempest did hope that this would turn out well, although she didn't want it to be obvious; she still had appearances to keep up. "Yeah," she muttered nonchalantly, "I suppose it's useful."
"Great!" Starlight cried, clapping her hooves together in excitement. "I just got an idea that we'd all like: a friendship field trip!"
Tempest groaned and almost smacked one of her metaled hooves to her face. The other two mares in the room both nodded their agreement and eagerly offered some ideas for the expedition.
"Fine, let's do this." Tempest muttered, sliding off her chair and slowly trotting her way toward the double doors.
***
"So," Tempest exhaled, shooting Starlight a bored look. The four ponies trotted their way down from the castle into Ponyville, "what are we going to do first?"
"Hmm, I don't know." Starlight replied, shrugging and taking a few looks around the bustling village.
Like Canterlot, Ponyville had been swiftly conquered by the Storm King's forces. Luckily, it also was perfectly restored with magic after his defeat. Not many ponies recognized Tempest as she walked with the others, but those that actually did quickly shrunk away to do their business elsewhere.
Without warning, a mint green streak shot across her view and collided with Sunset, who she had noticed was walking only on her hind legs.
Dazedly, Sunset shook her head and glared at the green unicorn who was now tightly hugging her. Said unicorn was squealing happily. After a few seconds, another pony, this time an earth pony with a yellow coat and a navy blue and cotton candy pink mane came up behind the giggling unicorn.
"Lyra, what are you doing?" she asked, tapping Lyra on her shoulder.
"Didn't you see, Bon? She was walking on two legs! I told you there were humans living among us." Lyra went back to hugging Sunset, whose face was beginning to grow a shade of blue.
"Lyra..." Bon Bon groaned, smacking a hoof to her face. "You're seeing things." Grabbing a hold of Lyra, Bon Bon broke the unicorn's death grip and started dragging her away, ignoring Lyra's pleas.
The group stayed silent as Sunset caught her breath. Heaving another gasp, Sunset regained her hooves, this time staying on all fours. "Whoops," she muttered, rubbing a hoof on the ground.
"Well... that was a thing." Tempest deadpanned, watching the fading pair of ponies.
"Oooookay." Starlight hummed, taking another look around town. In the distance, she spied Ponyville's schoolhouse. Smacking her one forehoof into her other, she exclaimed, "I have an idea!"
"Great..." Tempest said, lowering her head in exasperation.
"We've all got some stories to tell; why don't we see if Cheerilee would let us present them to her class?"
Sunset and Trixie both nodded. Tempest, however, just groaned. "I don't think they really want to hear some of the stuff I did."
"Oh, come on! It'll be fun." Starlight replied, waving a hoof to brush off Tempest's lack of enthusiasm. "I'll start. Don't worry about it."
Making their way through Ponyville, Tempest watched as the townsponies went about their daily lives. It was almost like there was no invasion, aside from the occasional scorched crater or pile of garbage.
She sighed. It was going to take a while for her to get used to her new life. However, it beat being put in a cell for all of eternity, so there was that.
Soon enough, the group walked up the pathway to Ponyville's schoolhouse. She huffed indignantly: the rustic looking building reminded her of her old village when she was a filly, then of her old playmates. "I wonder where they are now?" she pondered to herself.
Calmly knocking on the door to the schoolhouse, Starlight halted the group and waited for it to be opened. A moment later, a dark magenta mare opened the door and stared at the group. "Starlight." she said, looking over the group. "What are you doing here?"
Starlight quickly explained the group's purpose, and their intention for visiting.
Humming to herself, Cheerilee finally said, "Alright. I suppose you could do a quick presentation." She turned around and motioned for the group to follow.
Inside, a group of wide-eyed fillies and colts watched as Tempest, Starlight, Sunset, and Trixie walked in. Tempest rolled her eyes as a couple of fillies pointed at her broken horn and started whispering between each other. Was it so hard to believe that a unicorn hadn't had their horn broken before?
"Okay class," Cheerilee stated, wiping down the blackboard on the back wall. "We have a few surprise visitors who want to tell you a bit about themselves. So, no algebra today." With that proclamation, the entire class cheered, much to Cheerilee's chagrin.
Clearing her throat, Starlight walked to the head of the classroom. "Hi, everypony, I'm Starlight, and I want to tell you a bit about the importance of cutie marks."
"Oh, not this again!" a colt in the back of the classroom groaned.
After shooting the offender a warning glare, Starlight went back to her talk. "Yes, you may have heard this before, but this time, I'll talk to you from the view of somepony who hated cutie marks."
Now that she had a captive audience (literally), she began to tell her life's story from when she was a filly to forming her equality town.
During her talk about her town, a young filly with a lisp asked, "Wathn't it really boring if everypony wath the thame?"
"Yeah, and how did you eat if everypony was really bad at baking?" another schoolpony asked.
"I think we're getting off track here," Starlight laughed awkwardly, trying to get control of the situation again.
"How did you find a stick that could take cutie marks off? Did you break into Celestia's castle?" yet another schoolpony asked. This one sounded unhealthily eager about such an idea.
"Uhh..." Starlight stammered, beads of sweat rolling down her face. As the schoolponies continued to demand more answers to questions she wasn't prepared for, she hurriedly shouted, "I just wanted to say that cutiemarksarereallyimportantandtheyshouldn'tmakeyoufeeljealous. Okaythanks!"
Without waiting for Cheerilee to choose the next presenter, Starlight pushed Sunset into the same spot in front of the class.
After her brain caught up with what happened, Sunset gave a quick, unconvincing smile to the class, who looked to be just as confused as her. Concentrating for a moment, she conjured a lecture stick and a large anatomy diagram on a stand. The body on the diagram wasn't a pony, but rather a bipedal creature, a bit like apes that Tempest had seen in her travels.
"Hey, kids!" Sunset began, a tad too hyper and condescending.
"Uh... we're not goats." an orange pegasus filly said while raising an eyebrow in consternation.
"Oh, right. Sorry." Sunset replied. After a brief pause, she perked up again, "Are you ready to learn about human anatomy?" She pointed her stick toward a white unicorn filly with a light purple and pink mane.
"What's a human?" the filly inquired.
"Oh, right Sweetie Belle. Well, um… they’re like monkeys, but without the hair, and uh, walk upright, and use these things called ‘hands’ to do work.” Sunset explained briefly. Her response only seemed to confuse the schoolponies even more.
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “Um, how did you know my name? I don’t think we’ve met.”
Sunset grimaced. She forgot that most ponies didn't know of alternate realities and their other versions. “Well…” she stammered, trying to think of a good excuse. “Rarity mentioned you one time when I bought a dress.”
“Rarity makes sure not to mention me around customers.” Sweetie Belle replied innocently.
“Oh, well, no, you’re right.” Sunset agreed, beginning to dart her gaze around the room. Quickly, her brain thought of another reason. “Actually, it was because I saw your picture in the Foal Free Press that somepony showed me.”
Gasping, Sweetie Belle turned to level a glare at the orange pegasus from earlier. “Scootaloo!” she screamed. “I told you not to run that story!”
Scootaloo scrunched her face in agitation. “Uh, I didn’t! You know, because, you asked me?”
Thankfully, before the situation went downhill, another filly raised her hoof. "What are those?" she asked, pointing to a pair the two roundish shapes on either arm with spindly tubes coming off them.
"Those are hands. I just explained that humans use them to hold things and do work. Weren’t you listening?" She raised an eyebrow in exasperation.
Unperturbed by Sunset’s tired response, the filly inquired again, “How do they use them?” She blinked her eyes innocently.
“I just. Explained. They use their fingers—” she beat her hoof against the diagram a couple of times to emphasize "—to pick things up. They use them to perform tasks. Got it?” Muttering under her breath, she said, “Education is still crap here, apparently.”
Unseen by Sunset, Cheerilee perked her head up at the unicorn’s complaint, and snarled slightly. "Okay! That's enough!" she interrupted, quickly pushing Sunset out of the spotlight. "I think we've taken up enough of these ponies' time." She shot Starlight a stern glare.
Unseen by the class and the remainder of the R.U.M. group, Trixie had left to prepare for her presentation. She had just arrived when Cheerilee had put an end to Sunset's talk.
"What?!" Trixie cried in disbelief. "But Trixie had just finished getting on her show gear! Who do you think you are?"
Cheerilee shot a stare at Trixie so cold it could freeze Tartarus. "Your worst nightmare if you don't leave. NOW." As the group were hastily retreating, she grabbed Starlight and growled, "We're going to have to talk later about your choice of companions."
With that threat, she slammed the door to the schoolhouse and left the group unsure what to do next.
"So... what now?" Trixie asked, fiddling with her cape and brushing some of the dirt off. "Trixie still needs to showcase her amazing talent."
Tempest scoffed. She could tell a showmare when she saw one. If Trixie could even perform basic transmogrification spells, she'd be surprised.
"I don't know. Maybe check out the market and see if anypony wants help?" Starlight suggested, a confused look on her face. With that, she started walking down toward the center of Ponyville, where the sounds of activity could be heard.
Ponyville market had always been an impressive sight to visitors. Despite the small size of the town, its market was always filled with various vendors of exotic wares and baubles, along with more mundane food stalls and practical items.
In the center of the market square, stood the town hall, which towered remarkably above the rest of the surrounding houses. Tempest mused that whomever was the current mayor must enjoy looking down on her citizens, or something.
Out of the corner of her eye, she spied some movement in a shadowed alleyway near a vendor stand. Briefly, she saw a small, clawed, grey paw whip out and snatch a small cake off the vendor's shelf.
She knew that paw anywhere. Scowling, she broke off from the group and lit up the stub of her horn. A few sparks flew here and there as she went into the alleyway. At the end of the alley, she saw what she was looking for. A fat, short, weasel of a rodent with punk-styled white hair.
"Grubber," she growled, moving closer to her former second-in-command. Her metaled hooves' clanking reverberated off the alley's walls, and combined with her glower and sparking horn, she was sure she presented a formidable sight.
Belching after he put the last piece of cake into his mouth, Grubber looked surprised and at the same time relieved to see Tempest. "Tempy!" he cried, getting off the pile of garbage he had created. He obviously had been in Ponyville since she had moved here.
"I told you not to call me that!" she hissed, shooting a couple of sparks in his direction. "How did you even get here?"
"Oh, that," he laughed, completely ignoring Tempest's growing irritation. "You see, now that the Storm King, is, well, kaput, that kinda leaves you as, like, the ruler of his kingdom now."
"A: I don't want to rule his crappy kingdom, and B: You didn't answer my question." she warned, towering over the pint-sized nuisance.
"Weeelll, I may have stowed away in your carriage here when you weren't looking." he chuckled, tapping his claws together. "It's pretty nice here, think I can stay?"
"No." Tempest stated, turning around and heading back out the alley. "Leave, before I decide to hand you over to the guards."
"No! Come on, Tempy!" Grubber called, running out after her. He dived for one of her hindlegs and held on for all that he was worth, which wasn't much.
Easily shaking him off, Tempest turned around to face him again. Unfortunately, she caught a whiff of his putrid breath and stumbled back. Regaining her footing, she made sure she stayed a fair distance away and began, "No, you can't. I'm done with the Storm King and his army. I'm done with my old life!"
"I know that, like, you're totally angry right now. And I get that!" Grubber placed a reassuring hand on Tempest's foreleg. "You're just confused. That nasty pony princess brainwashed you."
"What's going on here, Tempest?" she heard Starlight ask. Turning around, she saw the other three ponies approaching her with concerned looks on their faces. Obviously, none of them had ever seen her lackey during the invasion, or they would have known instantly.
Before she had a chance to explain, Grubber piped up and said, "Oh, I'm just a good 'friend' of Tempy's."
She shot him another glare.
Given Tempest's reaction, Starlight raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Really?" she inquired, her tone giving away her lack of conviction.
"Yeah... we're totally best buds." Grubber jabbed Tempest in the ribcage with his elbow. "Going on adventures together, spending time, doing, you know, friend stuff."
"Goodbye, Grubber." Tempest deadpanned.
"Wait, what?" he said, unsure at Tempest's statement.
"I said, goodbye!" With that, Tempest swiveled around and kicked her hindlegs with all her might. Her metaled hooves connected with her unfortunate victim with a loud "thwap!"
Screaming at the top of his lungs, Grubber went flying directly into the concrete foundation of one of the market houses. A perfect impact crater shaped like him was formed, and he slowly slid off the house, groaning. "Mommy, is it snack time yet?" he mumbled woozily, laying perfectly still on the ground.
Slowly making her way to her former minion, Tempest stared down at him unconcernedly. "Don't get up." she stated, and turned to face the shocked crowd of ponies that was beginning to form around the incident. "Someone should call the royal guards. He's a wanted criminal," she said, and walked past her three fellow unicorns.
After a few seconds had passed, Starlight, Trixie, and Sunset followed after Tempest. They quickly caught up to her. She was walking steadily and confidently despite the myriad of looks she was getting from market-goers.
"Who was that?" Starlight was the first to voice the group's questions. "And why did you just assault him?"
"He used to be my head lackey," Tempest explained, not even bothering to glance behind her. "He decided to follow me here." She continued her elaboration, before stopping at the edge of the town square.
"Anyway," she said, pausing to observe the market and read its atmosphere, "I think we can call this visit a bust, so unless someone else has an idea, I'm going to head back."
"Wait!" Trixie cried, causing everypony to face her in surprise. "Trixie must perform! She hasn't come all this way dressed for success for nothing!" She rubbed her hooves together excitedly, perhaps a bit too excitedly. She cackled, "And Trixie must have her assistants' help."
"No." Tempest said, groaning and shaking her head.
***
"How did I get roped into this?" Tempest asked, chagrined at her current attire.
Somehow, Trixie had stowed away nearby all of her magic equipment and costumes, and had the three other ponies dress up in assistant's clothing. Said clothing happened to consist only of different coloured socks and fancy saddles, but whatever, it wasn’t like half the audience could see properly anyway.
Stranger still was that Trixie somehow convinced the resident senior pony home to let them perform on short notice. Now, she was being watched by a mess hall's worth of geriatric ponies who probably would keel over at a moment's notice.
At the front of the small atrium's stage, Sunset was happily entertaining the audience before Trixie went on. Starlight and Tempest were behind a semi-tattered curtain in what could be considered a backstage, making sure that things went smoothly and waiting for Trixie's cues.
"You know, I don't know exactly how this happened, either." Starlight replied, scratching her muzzle in thought.
"Ugh, I need a drink." Tempest muttered, lowering her head and halfheartedly watching the crowd.
Walking back a few feet, Starlight returned with a cup of water. However, Tempest angrily brushed it aside. "Not water," she huffed. "Something that will make this day go away."
“Oh, that kind of drink.” Starlight sighed.
"Yes! Booze! Beer, ale, rum. Something that will just make the day a distant memory!" Tempest stomped around the backstage. With another huff, she sat on her haunches and waited for Trixie to begin the show.
"Well, there is the Apple family’s cider, but cider season isn’t for a few months yet." Starlight stated, sitting down next to Tempest.
"Crap." Tempest groaned. She sighed, and lay down on the floor. "This is turning out to be a lot tougher than I anticipated."
"Well, you're doing better than I did at your stage." Starlight stated, patting her on the back with a reassuring hoof.
Lazily drifting an eye to look over at Starlight, Tempest replied, "Really? I don't think kicking someone almost clean through a wall counts as doing good."
"Well, you haven't brainwashed everyone so that they'd all be your friends." Starlight chuckled, quickly checking around to make sure no-one else could hear.
"Right, because that's reassuring." Tempest sighed again. As she finished, she heard the sounds of a few hooves stomping together in applause. Getting up, she looked from behind the curtain and saw Trixie bowing in front of the crowd of senior ponies.
Trixie had just arrived onstage, shooing Sunset backstage, and shouting in her best showpony voice, "Welcome to the Great and Powerful Trixie's show! She hopes your evening is going well, and that she'll amaze you with her stupendous magical mastery!"
With that proclamation, a few smaller fireworks and pyrotechnical effects exploded behind the blue unicorn, jerking a couple ponies in the audience awake.
"It's the middle of the afternoon!" a wrinkled, tan mare cried angrily.
"I need my medication!" another bemoaned, causing a young mare dressed in a nurse's uniform to rush over and give the senior pony some crushed pills mixed in applesauce.
"I should be napping!" a third proclaimed.
"Fine! You do that!" Trixie retorted, a small glower forming on her face. Thankfully it was hidden by the shadow of her magician's hat. "But then you will miss the greatest and most amazing show in all of Equestria!" Again, fireworks exploded behind Trixie.
Screening the crowd, Tempest spied a couple of old stallions who looked less than impressed sitting in the front row of seats.
One of the ponies decided to voice his displeasure, "Boy, those fireworks really brighten up the stage!"
The other replied, "Too bad they can't brighten up her act!"
Ecstatically, the pair laughed at their heckling, causing Trixie to scowl in their direction. She rolled her eyes but continued on her with introduction.
Briefly, Trixie introduced her unwilling assistants (aside from Sunset). Groaning, Tempest walked onstage when she was announced, putting on an incredibly fake smile. "Please, somepony kill me."
After the introductions, Trixie quickly dimmed the remaining lights, leaving the stage in near total darkness. A few seconds later, a single light shone from the back of the atrium, illuminating the small section where she stood.
"Imagine, if you will," Trixie began, smirking at the audience, "if you could make something out of nothing. 'Impossible!' you might say." Laughing, Trixie stood proudly at the front of the stage. "But not for the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
With that, she lit up her horn, and a long, colored rope of handkerchiefs was pulled out of the ear of a stallion at the front of the audience. However, much to Trixie's chagrin, the ponies remained devoid of emotion.
Coughing, Trixie levitated the handkerchief rope above her. "Eh, eh?!" she grunted, emphasizing her point by raising and lowering her eyebrows.
A few ponies in the audience yawned. Straining to hold back a chuckle, Tempest watched as Trixie stood there awkwardly. It was nice to see Trixie getting a bit of karma from her derision this morning.
"All right! Moving on!" Trixie declared, collapsing the rope in on itself and making it disappear in a cloud of smoke.
She motioned for Sunset to join her on the stage. After whispering quickly into the fiery-maned unicorn's ear, she pointed to the end of the stage.
Clearing her throat, Trixie said, "Trixie shall now have her lovely assistant Sunset Shimmer pick a lucky pony from the audience to help with this next trick!"
On cue, Sunset trotted down onto the atrium floor. Swiftly scanning the audience, who, for the most part, couldn't care less to what was happening, she picked out one of the few ponies who held their hooves to volunteer.
When the stallion saw he was chosen, he slowly got off his chair and made his way down toward the stage. After what seemed like years, he finally climbed up on the stage and stared expectantly at Trixie.
Before Trixie said anything, she got Sunset to give the stallion a deck of cards to choose from. Soon, the stallion chose a card and Sunset levitated the rest of the deck back to Trixie. "Now," she began, looking the stallion in the eye, "you and Trixie have never met before, is that correct?"
"What? We've never bet?" he replied, cupping his free hoof over his right ear.
Rolling her eyes, Trixie repeated the question.
"Oh, no, we've never met." he answered sheepishly. Muttering under his breath, he said, "Should've brought my hearing aid."
"A-ha!" Trixie shouted to the audience. "He and Trixie have never met! So Trixie will have no idea what your card is! Now, she will guess the card you have chosen."
Pausing to dramatically think for a moment, a pink glow surrounded her horn and she pulled a card from the mane of the stallion. She flashed it before the crowd, displaying that it was the seven of clubs. Smugly grinning, she asked, "Was this your card?"
"No." he deadpanned, shaking his head emphatically.
At that statement, a few boos rippled up from the audience. Some of the ponies started getting up and got ready to head back to their rooms.
"No, of course not." Trixie sarcastically muttered under her breath. Louder, she repeated, "Of course not, because it was actually this card!" She pulled the queen of hearts out from under her hat and showed it to the audience and to her volunteer.
"Nope." he replied again.
Growling and grinding her teeth, Trixie cried, "Fine! Obviously you switched your card when you shouldn't! Trixie has no time for you! Begone!" She shooed the stallion off the stage in a huff.
A few ponies in the crowd booed, and one cried, "You suck!"
Beads of sweat forming on Trixie's brow, she chuckled nervously, "Trixie has a trick that will astound you all!" She pointed to Tempest, who reluctantly came out onto the stage.
Motioning with her other hoof to Starlight, Trixie had a box rolled out onstage. From its design, Tempest knew exactly what the trick was. Hopefully she didn't actually get sawed in half. Resigning herself, Tempest scrambled inside the box as Trixie set the mood for the trick.
From inside, she quickly put in two fake legs to make it look like she was in both sides of the box, and then scrunched up into the upper half of the box. Poking her head out, she saw Trixie climb on top of the box and levitate a saw with her magic.
Trixie exclaimed, "And now, the moment you've been waiting for!" Maniacally, she started cutting into the middle of the box. Soon, it was broken in half, and she had the two sides wheeled around to face the audience.
From her hunched position, Tempest couldn't see the crowd's reaction, but she guessed it was of mild ambivalence from the lack of applause. Suddenly, she heard a thump from the other box and a chorus of boos rising from the audience. Craning her neck, she saw that one of the fake legs had fallen from the other half onto the stage.
Cursing internally at the amount of embarrassment that Trixie had caused to her, she silently waited for the box to be put back together and to hop out.
Again, the two heckler ponies from earlier piped up again.
"Gee, that was a real class act!" the first wrinkled pony said, watching the stage with mirth.
"Yeah, it was only half as bad as the first one!" the other stated, a small smile forming at his joke.
The two guffawed at the showpony and her failing act. Resolutely staring the two in the eyes, Trixie cried, a level of frustration in her voice, "Very well, if you want something impressive, then Trixie will pull out the big one!"
***
“Maybe Trixie needs to get back into practice more.” Trixie stated.
Trixie, Starlight, Sunset, and Tempest watched from their safe position as ponies screamed and fled from the inferno that used to be the old ponies' home. Barely escaping the fire themselves, they were all covered in soot, and Trixie's cape and hat were singed slightly by the flames.
All around them, senior ponies were fleeing as fast as their old bones could carry them. Impressively, some looked as if they could compete with any young athlete in Canterlot, given how fast they were galloping away.
Within moments, pegasi bringing rain clouds had arrived on the scene and had begun to douse the flames. However, the building was gone for, and it was now just a case of preventing the fire from spreading.
Glancing between her fellow unicorns, Sunset finally said, "I didn't even know water could start a fire."
"Do you think maybe we should go before they find us?" Starlight suggested, afraid of having to explain the situation to Twilight.
"Trixie agrees." The blue unicorn nodded her head robotically.
Out of the corner of her eye, Tempest noticed a small tongue of flame still burning on Trixie's hat and quickly snuffed it out. Turning to go with the rest of the group, she asked, "Well this day has been a waste."
"Why don't we go to Sugarcube Corner?" Starlight proposed, looking between her friends.
They all nodded in agreement. Slowly, they made their way away from the orange glow of the burning seniors' home and toward the center of town again. As they trudged their way to Sugarcube Corner, a few ponies gave them odd looks after noticing their sooty appearances.
Soon they reached a building that appeared to be made out of a mix of gingerbread and cupcakes. Entering the store, Tempest heard a bell ring and a pink pony with springy hair zoomed out from what looked to be the kitchen and watched them expectantly. Tempest groaned. She recognized the pony as one of Twilight's friends.
Gasping in surprise or excitement, Tempest couldn't tell quite which, Pinkie Pie started rambling to Starlight.
"Oh my gosh, what happened? Did you get burned by Spike again? Did you get attacked by a dragon? Did you set fire to Twilight's kitchen?" Pinkie kept demanding answers from Starlight, but soon she spotted Tempest standing at the back of the group. Narrowing her eyes, Pinkie whispered loudly, loud enough for Tempest to hear, "Did she zap you?"
Tempest glared for a second, before realizing that she probably shouldn't. Reformed pony, and all. Instead, she just rolled her eyes and sat down at a nearby table.
Admittedly, getting some kind of refreshment or confectionery here would be a good idea. As they entered the store and the smells of the sugary goods hit her nostrils her stomach growled, a reminder that she hadn't eaten since breakfast.
"Just get us some cocoa and strawberry muffins, Pinkie." Starlight answered, rolling her eyes at her friends' antics and walking over to sit down at the table with Tempest.
"Okay!" Pinkie stated, bouncing like a spring into the kitchen and coming out a few moments later with a plate somehow balanced on her poofy mane. Placing the order at the group's table, she said, "Hi, Tempy!" She flashed the magenta pony a friendly smile.
"Don't call me that," Tempest stated. She quickly added, "Please."
Pinkie didn't even react, still staying her happy self. "Oh, don't be such a frowny-pants." Studying Tempest's broken horn for a few seconds, she declared, "I think I know how to make you feel better."
Suddenly galloping downstairs, Pinkie returned a moment later with different objects that were vaguely horn-shaped, ranging from carrots, to craft paper in the shape of a unicorn horn. Without asking, she quickly taped the carrot to the base of Tempest's horn.
A slow heat beginning to build in the pit of Tempest's stomach, she tried her best remain calm by sipping a bit of her hot chocolate. "Yeah, thanks but no thanks." she stated, refusing to even think about how ridiculous she looked.
Not taking no an for answer, Pinkie tried some other objects, each time Tempest visibly getting more and more irritated. Finally, she tried the paper horn, which happened to mostly match the color of Tempest's coat. "There!" she said, sounding satisfied by her work. "Now you can't even tell."
Refusing take any more annoyance, Tempest ripped off the fake horn from her head and grabbed Pinkie in her magic field. At the same time, she started charging her horn up, sparks beginning to dance from her horn to the floor and create pockmarks in the wood.
Quickly reacting, Starlight grabbed Tempest in her own magic field in an attempt to prevent the scarred pony from acting. "Tempest! No!" she warned, although both it and her magic field seemed to have no effect on the pony.
"But I—!" Tempest began, looking back at Starlight while still charging her own magical blast.
"No."
"But she—!"
"No."
"Fine." Sighing, Tempest released Pinkie from her telekinetic grasp, who dropped to the floor and nervously watched the unicorn.
Without prompting, Tempest replied, "I'm sorry. Just, don't do that again."
Pinkie nodded earnestly before heading back to behind the counter. Visibly shaken, she started cleaning up a few dishes and took them back to the kitchen to get washed.
"Ugh! Why does this have to be so hard?!" Tempest moaned, slamming her forehooves onto the table and resting her head on it despondently. Quietly, she also added, "And why is there no rum?"
A few moments of silence passed. Finally, Starlight said, reaching out a hoof and placing it on Tempest's back, "Friendship is hard, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't work for it. It's started by little things, like shared experiences." She chuckled, "You've already got some with us."
Nodding, Sunset piped in, "You wouldn't think that me and some of my friends would mesh at all, but we do. We have a lot of good memories together."
"Would you really think that Trixie would be friends with a pony like Starlight?" Trixie began. She noticed Starlight's glare and gave her a jocular shrug.
"All I'm saying that you now have a group of ponies who can help you," Starlight finished, smiling at Tempest, who was now watching the three ponies with slightly tear-filled eyes.
"Thanks, I guess." Tempest replied, switching to looking around the room.
The rest of the snack was eaten in silence. Soon, the group left Sugarcube corner (after apologizing to Pinkie again and promising to fix the scorch marks on the floor) and headed back to Twilight's castle.
The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon as the group arrived at the castle entrance. Opening the door, Starlight was dragged away by Spike to help him with some library organizing. Trixie decided to follow.
"Well," Sunset said, watching the other group head off, "I need to get back to my own home. It was nice meeting you, Tempest!" With that, she headed off down a corridor to the left of the castle.
All alone, Tempest exhaled a long, depressed groan. Back to square one. Although, at least she had a bit more experience in this whole friendship thing than before.
Climbing the main staircase of the castle, she turned right and went down one of the hallways. As she turned the corner of the hall, she bumped into Twilight, who happily greeted her.
Seeing that Tempest was somewhat upset, Twilight asked, "What happened?"
With another sigh, Tempest regaled Twilight of the day's events. Quietly, the alicorn listened, nodding occasionally. When Tempest finished, Twilight thought for a moment. Finally, she said, "Sounds like you learned a thing or two today."
"Yeah, you could say that." Tempest muttered, avoiding Twilight's gaze.
"Well, I have an idea that will help you remember what you learned," Twilight clapped her hooves together giddily, squealing a bit in excitement. "A friendship report!"
Arching an eyebrow, Tempest asked incredulously, "Really? You do those things here?"
"Well, not for a while." Twilight admitted, chuckling a bit. "Not since Starlight moved on from being my student. But now you can be my student and you can write one tonight!"
Still confused, Tempest inquired, "About what?"
"Well... you learned today that you shouldn't electrocute your friends...?" Twilight scratched the back of her neck nervously. She shifted her eyes around as Tempest continued to blankly stare at her.
"You're scraping the bottom of the barrel here, aren't you?" Tempest asked.
"Yeah, maybe a bit."
FIN
Author's Note
Well, so this was a thing. Felt good to write again. Anyway, I really loved Tempest. If only they made the movie about twenty minutes longer and added a couple more scenes with her. Yes, I know that the joke with Trixie failing on sawing someone in half was done just recently on the show, but this was written basically right after the movie. Apparently I'm psychic! 
Oh, and Knighty, or whoever deals with the character tags. Add movie characters. I'm begging you.
Anyway, thanks again to this chap, AShadowOfCygnus. for editing and contributions.
Rush and Pony on!
T4E
