You are SO under arrest!

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Minotaur, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1405

Twilight places Iron Will under arrest

So, Iron Will is hosting this entire cruise under false pretences. All the guests, my family included, are going to be so disappointed when I tell them. Wait, I know! I'll cut a deal with him so that the cruise can keep going, and all I need to do is go along with all those activities he lied to everypony about!

Oh, wait, I'm a Princess! How about I just pull rank instead?

Published 2017-12-02 07:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-02 07:20:06 UTC

You are SO under arrest!

Now, it was in no way unreasonable for Twilight to be here right now. After everything she'd been through, all the massive quantities of paperwork she was expected to undertake as a Princess, she deserved a little rest and relaxation. So, here she was, with all of her family, looking forward to a nice long cruise to get her mind off all the stresses and duties expected of her. Unfortunately, that's not what happened, and now, she finds herself face-to-face with a figure she never expected to have to see again, or even wanted to see again; Iron Will. The towering Minotaur, looking at her with utter confidence, was in no way a pleasing sight, and was, in fact, something that caused Twilight a great deal of discomfort. After everything he'd put Fluttershy and her other friends through, she'd hoped never to see him again. Still, he was here all the same, and now, she was going to have to deal with him. So, deal with him she did.

"So let me get this straight. You told all those people out there that this cruise was an opportunity for them to get up close and personal with me and my sister-in-law?"

Placing his hands upon his hips, Iron Will nodded.

"That is correct, little lady."

Ignoring the rather unpleasant way he'd just addressed her, Twilight sighed and continued.

"So...putting aside the fact that you’ve used Equestrian royal as a publicity stunt without asking their permission, you basically lied to all these people?"

To that, Iron Will seamed to look almost offended.

"I most certainly did not! Look!"

From out of nowhere, he pulled out what appeared to be a contract of some kind, pointing to a few passages on it.

"As you can see here, here and here, it's very clear that this cruise was in no way a binding agreement for me to provide any such interactions between the passengers and any Princesses of any kind!"

Twilight slapped her hoof against her forehead.

"Will...you just announced that this was a "Princess Cruise" to everypony out there!"

Rolling up the contract, Iron Will folded his arms and huffed.

"I'd like to remind you, Princess, that since you and your friend, Cadence, are, in fact, on-board right now, I have made good on my announcements."

To that, Twilight frowned.

"Everypony out there is under the impression that Cadence and me came here willingly for them to spend time with! That's a complete and total lie on your part! We came here to get away from all that and you know it! And what’s worse, you misled my parents to make all this happen!"

Raising both hands, Iron Will tried to put on a more diplomatic face.

"Okay then...I have an idea. One that I think you can appreciate, Princess."

"I doubt it," Twilight remarked with deadpan seriousness.

Clearing his throat, Iron Will began to explain.

"How about this? If you, Twilight Sparkle, agree to go along with all the activities I had planned for my passengers, I'll let Cadence and the rest of your family free to enjoy the cruise like they wanted. And who knows? You might have time to enjoy it with them yourself if you get through all this stuff in time."

Placing a hoof on her chin, Twilight pondered that.

"Hmmm...it would be a reasonable compromise, wouldn't it?"

Folding his arms again, Iron Will gave a firm nod, looking very pleased with the idea he'd just presented. Unfortunately for him, Twilight did not appear to share this sentiment, and so looked to him with pure seriousness.

"Or...how about we do this instead?"

Before the Minotaur could react, Twilight's horn lit up, and there was a near-blinding flash of light. When it died down, Will found, to his shock, that his hands were now placed in cuffs that were chained to the wall to the side.

"What the...?!" he exclaimed.

Looking rather satisfied, Twilight pointed her hoof straight at him.

"Iron Will, by the authority granted to me as a Princess of Equestria...you are under arrest!"

Naturally, Will wasn't too happy about this.

"What?! On what grounds?"

As if hoping for that very question, Twilight began to explain.

"Well, first of all, false advertising, as we've already discussed."

"But..." Will began.

But Twilight cut him off.

"And that's just the first crime you're going to have to answer for. There's also the tiny matter of your various con-acts throughout Equestria."

Will seemed indignant at that.

"I assure you, Princess, Iron Will does not con ponies!"

Twilight frowned.

"Oh? So you deny involvement in your needlessly-aggressive self-confidence classes? Which have resulted in thousands of bits worth of assault lawsuits across the land as a consequence of what you taught ponies?"

Will looked away.

"Iron Will and Iron Will's self-help classes are not liable for any damages to property or persons as a result of actions taken by those who took the classes."

Though Twilight was almost impressed with the natural way he'd spoken off that bit of fine print, that didn't stop her from continuing.

"There's also the matter of other so-called "beneficial" schemes you've come up with. Schemes that Equestria's authorities have been wanting to bring you in over for a while now."

Will huffed.

"Iron Will has no idea what you're talking about!"

In response, Twilight smirked.

"Oh, I never said it was Iron Will who led those schemes. There are a number of...other names associated with them."

Briefly, Will looked to her with nervousness, even sweating a little, though said nothing as she continued.

"There was the health food promotions by a certain "Zinc Tony", which led to mass food poisoning. The selling of fake insurance by one "Copper Carl", which ended with about two dozen homes being repossessed. And let's not forget the unlicensed selling of books for...well...intimate purposes being sold by a Minotaur under the name of...ahem...Iron Willy?"

The last one caused the Minotaur some measure of embarrassment, as he now looked away from the authoritative alicorn.

"Iron Will was...running out of ideas that day."

Twilight shook her head.

"Bottom line, you're a criminal, and you will be facing justice for everything."

She giggled.

“See what I did there? Because your name is Will and...ugh, never mind.”

Now panicking, Will seemed to be thinking hard on how to get out of this.

"But...but...but what about the passengers?! Or your family?! They're going to be very disappointed that they won't get the cruise they were hoping for!"

To that, Twilight nodded.

"True. Although..."

A mischievous smirk came to her.

"It'll take some time for this airship to make its full journey on autopilot, so I'm fairly certain my family can get in everything they wanted to do. As for the others, well..."

She turned around, heading for the door of the cabin.

"...I'm sure they won't be too upset at not getting to spend time with a Princess when they hear that they're on a free cruise."

The word almost caught in Will's throat.

"F...f...f...free?!"

Looking back to him, Twilight nodded, still smiling.

"Oh, certainly. After all, we can't allow a known criminal to keep all those ill-gotten cruise fares, now can we?"

Seeing the flabbergasted look on his face, Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Oh don't be so upset! You'll still have plenty of money after all this."

Then, her eyes narrowed.

"That is...unless you want us to actually look into all those illegal off-shore accounts I forgot to mention earlier?"

Hearing that, Will paused, thinking on that, before slumping his shoulders and sitting on the ground.

"Iron Will...will behave himself."

Twilight smiled.

"Good boy. Oh! And before I forget..."

Her horn lit up again, and within moments, Will found himself shocked to discover that his goat assistant was now beside him, similarly chained up.

"...here's your friend, just so you won't get lonely here for the rest of the trip."

She opened the door, taking a step outside.

"I'll have somepony send you a meal up later. Have fun, you two!"

And with that, she closed the door, leaving the two con-artists in there in utter silence. Letting out a disgruntled sigh, Will leaned against the wall, all while his assistant looked around, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. After a while, he looked to his boss.

"Um...baaah?"

Will frowned.

"Don't worry...I'll just tell them this was your idea."