Always Ending The Same

I open the door to my laboratory and a weak, blue light peeks out into the hallway. Pushing aside the thick, metal door in front of me, I step into the small room. My hooves echo against the cold floor. The space was nearly silent except for a weak hum coming from the metal contraptions around me, each one vital to my studies. I check each one carefully, making sure all of them are working, and, more importantly, not malfunctioning. If things didn't work, that could delay my studies, while a malfunction could destroy them. But all of them were in good condition. Cords snaked their way from the ground to a large control panel in the center of the room. Stepping over each one carefully, I make my way over to a dash board in the corner. Pushing a button, the door closes quietly, and the overhead lights kick in. I listen for the break in the quiet.

"Hello, Princess Luna." There it was. I make my way back over to the center of the room towards the control panel. I flip a few switches, allowing her to hear my speech. I look over at a large, glass tube labeled "Altered Morph" so I can face her while I respond.

"Hello, Ally." I brace myself for her next question.

"Princess Luna, may I come out today?" Little did she now how much pain her inquiry caused me. She knew the answer, but I still had to say it.

"You know I can't let you." My tears distort her body into a blur. She was so beautiful. A sleek gray coat and a foggy pink mane. And her eyes. She had the most amazing deep blue eyes. But I was most likely the only pony who would ever gaze upon her. "You know I'm trying my best to study what's been going on. But until I understand, you can't come out."

I'm glad she quickly switches focus to another question. "Princess Luna, how are my readings?" I glance down at the control panel.

"Only a thirteen percent chance of a switch today." Good. I didn't want her to change yet.

"So why can't I come out, Princess Luna?" She new exactly why. But she didn't know what else to say. These were the only things she could speak about, as she knew about almost nothing else. And it was my fault. She lived isolated in a glass cylinder with multiple cords extending from her flank. A small picture covered the area, a paint brush. "I couldn't hurt anypony by painting, Princess Luna."

A attempt to hide the tear rolling down my cheek. "I told you, there still a possibility of your cutie mark . . . you know . . ." There is a sorrow filled silence.

"But Princess Luna, even if it changes, how do you know it'll be something bad?"

"I don't, Ally." It was so hard for me to tell her these things. There was such a small chance that anything bad would happen, yet I still needed to keep her there, just to be safe.

"Princess Luna, can I at least have a fun dream tomorrow. I'm tired of just painting." A knew question. But she always asked it eventually. They always did? I don't really know which to use. There were such drastic changes that could take place. Sometimes it felt like I'd met two different ponies.

"I can't do that for you. Your special talent remains inactive all day. I have to reactivate it at night or else you could be harmed." She didn't respond. She had been painting in her dreams for nine days now. I felt awful considering I was the one who had control of them. There was another period without noise. I feared she was mad at me, though she would have good reason to be.

"Princess Luna, can you tell me another story?" Sometimes I told her about times when she had different cutie marks. Every time she changed, she couldn't remember who she used to be.

I look away from her. "Ally, I . . . I can't remember anymore stories."

She studies my face. "Yes you can, Princess Luna." I sigh.

"Well . . . well one time you had a potion making cutie mark. I looked like a beaker with a blue liquid in it. There was a small bone floating in it as well. I assumed that it meant you used organic matter in your potions. But I was- . . . You asked me a lot more about your statistics then. You were so . . . d-different." I fear that she heard the hesitation in my voice, the sadness. I think she did, but she wants me to continue. "For your dreams, I provided you with all sorts of equipment, and a few mice to test your concoctions on. You started working, then you looked at me, as if you wanted me to leave . . . So I did. But when I came back, I found all of the mice dead. It . . . scared me. Your special talent was in potions, so I knew it wasn't an accident. You'd killed them. Your cutie mark changed the next morning."

She seemed thoughtful about my story. I waited for her. After a while, she spoke.

"Princess Luna, did you . . . did you hate me?" Oh. I didn't really know. I decided not to answer her directly.

"I felt sorry for you. I was worried that you would never be able to come out and meet other ponies. Especially considering how fast you switched from one cutie mark to the next."

"But, Princess Luna, did you hate me?" She was worried. Worried I didn't like her because of what she used to be.

"That wasn't you. You are kind and curious. Who you were has nothing to do with who you are now."

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"Princess Luna, what was that?" She pressed her mussel against the glass tube, attempting to see.

"It was an update. Your chance of changing is now-" I pause. "Forty-seven percent."

"What? No! Princess Luna, I'm scared!"

"I know, I know. It's okay, I'm coming over." I set the panel to say aloud what her readings are, and I trot over to her tube. I lay my hoof against the cool glass. She does the same.

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"No! Princess Luna, what do I do? Why is it changing so fast!" Ally's eyes fill with tears. "I don't want to leave!" She starts pounding against the barrier between us. "No, no, no!"

"Shhh . . . shhhhhh . . ."

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She's sobbing at this point, and the glass becomes smeared with frantic hoof prints. "Princess Lu- . . . Ooooohhh, I feel funny . . . My head hurts and- aaaahhh! My cutie mark!" I watch in horror as the image on her flank starts to flicker. "What do-" She pauses. She knows that she can't do anything.

With a defeated sigh, she speaks. "Goodbye, P-Princess Luna."

My legs tremble and I collapse to the ground. "Goodbye, A-Ally. I-I'll m-miss you."

"I'll m-miss you too, Princess Luna." She presses her soft lips against the glass. I do the same. I imagine our lips locking together in a loving kiss. She's like a daughter to me. A daughter who will never stay with me.

"Princess Luna, l love y-"

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