Storm of Feelings
When you fall in love...
Previous ChapterWith each new hour given to us things started to become more complicated. The meetings with the councilors were constantly being moved despite the effort of Lord Solitude who was trying to help us as good as he could. To make it worse it has been confirmed that our state in the Free Marshes would be longer than expected.
Long before our departure Corvus was stubbornly telling me and my sister that our titles would mean nothing to the Subjects of the Free Marshes who managed to separate our great Kingdom. Not that we would not be aware of it. Since me being banished into the Moon Celestia tried to reunited the two great lands into its former glory but she never succeeded.
I reported her everything and with great sadness in my heart I looked upon my sister who seemed to be tired, very tired. As always she insisted that she was fine but I knew better. Soon we had to cut the connection we have established through my mirror for our duties stood above our personal feelings or matters. For a moment I remained on my seat trying to maintain order in my mind and heart.
Soon I returned into the reality and with some hesitation I looked at the ponies that were near the chimney. Corvus was showing our small guest how to ignite and extinguish a fire of small size. A lesson that was being taught to the youth by their parents once they were sure that his or her time has come. The stallion explained everything calmly, slowly repeating step after step to Caelen who wanted to start right away. Each time our guest stared to cast a spell Corvus broke the foal’s concentration simply and most importantly gently with a push of his wing.
The annoyed facial expression of Caelen let me smile and forget the problems surrounding us. It took a while, and many pushes, until his time has come. With some fascination I was watching how the boy was trying to maintain the spell. It looked like somepony placed a heavy and invisible rock on his small back. With closed teeth he slowly started to reignite the wood in the chimney. After a few tries pleasant warmth spread across the room and the small foal fell on his flank exhausted but happy about his successful spell.
< You found a promising student of the arcane arts Artemis. > I thought and cheered at the exhausted Caelen. Clumsily he tried to stand up but the hook of Corvus’s wing grabbed the boy around his body and helped him to get up on his hooves. The stallion said nothing. He simply ruffled Calen’s mane and smiled at him. Since his sudden outburst of feelings he looked older. The black color of his fur lost its shine and it seemed to even lose its natural color. Behind the honest smile I could see signs of exhaustion and even sickness. While he kept explaining the basics to the boy I started to mix up a few herbs, roots and leafs that were delivered by the local herbalist. Alongside of them were the herbs that have been brought with us.
As expected Corvus caught the delicate scent of the grinned herbs but he did not turn away from Caelen who, as every young colt or filly, did the mistake of trying to cast more than he could handle. While I kept adding the herbs in the right order I kept watching them. What the stallion was doing right now was taking over the role of a parent who was preparing his or her child for the magical kindergarten. It was a new experience for me to see a male Alicorn tend to a small foal especially because he was not his father.
He was not his father… and sadly I was aware that he would never be able to be one. This realization came into my mind right away once he tried to shed tears in my arms. For the sake of my subjects I had to wear a mask that would grand them the feeling of security and trust. But despite the many years when I saw him in that state… the mask broke right away. It must be horrible to know about things one has been stripped off. It was against the nature to take ones fertility in the most gruesome way like the turning.
But this was the very nature of being a Lesser One. It was abnormal as the corruption that overcame the Draconequis. Without noticing it first I realized that the herbs were ready and with a quick spell I let them dry. After that I poured them into three cups and added boiling water into it. The result would be a very rare green tea that my mother used to do for me. Once more my eyes lay upon the two ponies who right now were simply watching the fire dance on the wood.
While I moved towards them I saw that the fire was being manipulated by a spell. The shapes of Griffins, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Buffalos, Dragons, Phoenixes and many other creatures started to come out of the fire. Caelen was watching the spectacle with a wide open mouth. In the very end the fire took the form of the castle of Canterlot. A small image of Celestia raising the sun appeared then the sun, alongside with my sister, went down and myself appeared in the chimney; performing one of the most important duties of my life.
The small foal turned around and with his tiny cute hooves he pointed at my fiery reflection.
“Yes this is me.” I said and sat between the boys. The cups have been hand over to them but I had to watch out after Caelen; afraid that he was weak and could hurt himself with the hot tea. Corvus took his cup and tasted it.
To make sure our small guest would not be harmed I cool his tea a little bit down. Caelen tried the tea and shivered right away pulling his tongue out in disgust. I chuckled and pulled him gently closer to myself with the wing.
Caelen managed to slip out of my wing and ran directly to the bed where he started to jump up and down. I assumed that Artemis would not let him do that which is why I let him roam around a bit; of course under my watchful eyes.
The cup that was about to touch my lips stopped in the air. Slowly the cup started to levitate down until it was close to my chest. A bit shocked about his words I did not realize how close my hair was floating into the chimney but gladly Corvus grabbed it with his wing before it could catch fire. He had no courage to talk about it? Unable to understand what was going on in his mind and heart I simply touched his wing with mine. The weave of his leathery wings was rough and I could swear that I could feel the flow of the blood in its small veins.
I could confess it to anypony… after all he allowed me to embrace the feelings he was talking about, after he let me see that it was not just a illusion or a lie. The old way of showing that one loved another… let the beloved pony touch his or her very soul. After I let him embrace my own feelings the bound has been created; the bound of love that only Alicorns could establish… besides the long extinct Draconequis. Our secret relationship started and since then it remained hidden for we were afraid that such relation would not be welcomed.
After the bound has been established Corvus touched my heart exactly the same way. He could feel how it was beating for him faster and faster. The way he was looking at me right now was breathtaking, stunning and even revitalizing. We both lean forward like we would be one body and we nuzzled each other. While for many the stallion in front of me seemed to be rough, ungentle maybe even fierce I knew his sensible and peaceful side that was being hidden behind the black.
No words have been spoken for none were necessary. The eyes were speaking loudly for him but also the connection let me feel that he was thankful for my words. It did not take long and soon our lips found each other and as always they brought us both away from this troublesome world. A cute yet a silent and gross sounding *yuck* brought us back. We both knew who was the source of the cute sound but it remained a mystery how Caelen managed to return at our side without us hearing or realizing it. The small guest looked at as with the typical “Why would you do that!?” facial expression.
All the years of training could not handle this sight and happily I started to laugh. Ponies claimed that my laughter would bring forth a smile even on the crankiest being. Corvus was the living example and probably the only victim that was being always affected by it. My cup levitated towards the table, followed by the already empty cup of Corvus, while I placed Caelen on my front legs.
“Watch and learn sweetie. Soon you will be doing it yourself.”
As expected the young colt answered with a very fast and hectic headshake. I kept laughing and bowed down my head to nuzzle him but surprisingly quickly he jumped on the stallion’s legs. The surprised look of Corvus and Caelen’s defensive position made me lose any control over the laughter so in the end I started to cry. While being busy with wiping away my tears I listened how Corvus was telling the boy this was something a stallion could not run away from but he promised that he would protect him from the incoming kisses; of course by taking the fire.
Suddenly somepony knocked on the door followed by a rather loud zap of the spell that was protecting our small sanctuary. On the other side an annoyed yelp echoed through the wall, complaining about being slightly electrocuted. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. My posture changed, I made sure that my attire looked well and once more and surely not for the last time I wore the mask of a ruler. Corvus levitated the boy to me and went to the door. Before he opened it we all heard various languages that were focusing on one thing: Complaining about the enchanted door.
As always Corvus tipped three different spots with his horn. Since he was lacking a big part of his horn he had to stand on his back legs to reach the highest placed ward. After the effort was done the door opened on its own and a mare of unknown age was standing in front of the stallion that was simply huge compared to her. His size seemed not to impress her at all which was actually quite impressive in my eyes; but to be honest it was easier to scare stallions than mares.
“How may I help you good mare?” Asked Corvus and he bowed formally. The mare inspected him while she seemed to be chewing on something.
“Let’s skip the formalities. I see enough hooflickers in the main hall of Lord Solitude’s hold.”
Though I could not see it I was quite sure that Corvus lifted his eye brow a little bit only to replace it with an honest smile.
“I understand what you mean good mare. Equestria seems not to be any better at this point.”
“We are made out of the same material Ambassador… after all we are standing on its ground though it wears a different name.” She took something out of her rather old looking saddle bag. It was a sealed letter with the symbol of the house of the family Solitude. “I have been asked to deliver it to your estate.” The mare managed to peak behind Corvus only to see me holding Caelen in my front legs. She smiled at our sight but especially the sight of the child. She waved at him with a smile of a grandmother looking at her grandchild. The small foal hid a part of his face behind my knee but shyly he waved back.
I could only assume what the old mare was probably thinking about this sight.
“Where are my manners… please come in.” Said Corvus and with a gesture of his wing he invited our guest into the apartment. “The weather is cold today and nothing will warm one better than a freshly made tea.”
“Thank you Ambassador but…” She rapidly stopped to talk and rubbed her temple with her hoof. “Ah thinking about it… I may actually need a small break. And yes the weather is really annoying today.” She entered our small apartment and bowed in front of me. I recognized the old traditional way of greeting a Princess from the time before my banishment. Gently I let Caelen get on his hooves and gracefully I bowed back.
“Welcome and be our guest.”
“Thank you Mylady” She smiled at Caelen who kept hiding behind my legs. Corvus closed the door and swiftly he reactivated the seals that were protecting us. In the very moment a slightly noticeable spark of magic went through his broken horn. With clenched teeth he grabbed his head with the hook of his wing. The pain the stallion must be feeling now must be great for it directly attacked his nerves…
So many times I tried to convince him to let his horn be treated because indirectly it was a threat not only to his own health but it also could be dangerous for everything in his surroundings. But every time Corvus declined my offer… One time he lost the control over himself and without intending to do so he yelled at me to watch my own business. Though we know each other for years now the story behind his broken horn remained a mystery to me. I kept thinking that he had a terrible accident or that he lost it in the time he started a life of a Lesser One… but with each day I started to think that something more than an accident was hidden in the thick fog of his mind.
Otherwise why would he not tell me the truth? Corvus knew that I saw it but with a smile he tried to hide the pain that was probably still affecting him.
“Eh… the weather gets worse and worse…” The mare looked through the window and watched how drops of rain started slowly to cover the surface of the window. “I miss the time when the Pegasi were taking care of the weather…”
“The nature was taking care of everything long before the pony race started to play around with it.” Corvus took his place next to me. Caelen decided to stay between us looking at me with his weary eyes; in the end he even stood closer to Corvus than to me.
I smiled and levitated a pillow for our elderly guest. Thankfully she sat down on it and let out an exhausted sigh. While Corvus brought her some food and drinks we had a nice chat between mares. Many times the stallion lifted his eye brow or rolled with his eyes when he heard this and that but so far I was sure that my beloved companion got used to it already. Though we both enjoyed our chat the full attention belonged to Caelen who, as every child in his age, was either simply ignoring our chat or playing around with his new toys.
“A lovely boy you got here my dear.” She gave Caelen a small treat that seemed to be caramel bonbon which won the foals heart right away.
“May I ask how to call good mare?” Asked Corvus who sat next to me of course with a certain distance. The gap between us always made me feel bad and often I had to fight the urge of stretching my wing towards him.
“Oh my… please excuse the old mare. Here in the city of Marehime everypony does know my name. I got used to it but this is not an excuse for the lacking manners.” She chuckled lovely and bowed as much as her elderly body allowed it. “My name is Mira Oakhoof. The last of the house of Oakhooves and an old servant of the family Solitude. The common ponies tend to call me Mira the Runner… but I already outlived this title.”
“The Oakhoof family…” I said a bit surprised that the mare in front of me was a member of a very honorable family who once served my sister and myself in the times before the plague. “I thought your line died out years ago.”
“We faced extinction yes… the plague nearly wiped my family out. Gladly we survived and now we do what we do best.” She smiled yet everypony in the room could see the slight glimpse of sadness hidden behind her lovely smile. The sadness ended after Caelen started to play again not far away from her. “A lovely child you have here. What’s your name cutie?”
After the foal realized she meant him he swiftly ran for the scroll where he has jotted down his name. Mira realized that he was not able to speak but as every good mare in her age she comforted the boy with praises about his name.
“How old is your son now hmm?” She asked and pat the boy who enjoyed her attention. The question was unexpected but also expected in the same time; at least for me… Corvus reacted like somepony has slapped him in the face but he quickly recovered from it. He was pretending that he was going to fill his cup but we both knew that it was still full.
“Caelen is not our son… but I wish I would have one like him.” I said and smiled at the two ponies in front of me. Too late I realized the bad choice of words and for that I was angry at myself. But I could not blame a lonely mare like me for having a dream of a family… It was something normal to think about such things and I sincerely hoped that Corvus would understand me. After all I did not see a Lesser One in him. I see a wonderful stallion who took my heart with his honest smile which he sadly did not show as often as I would like to see it.
There were things one have learned to live with and yet a simple sentence was enough to rip open a wound that would mark us forever. My heart ached badly after I heard what she wished to have… no what she desired. Could I blame her for it? No I could not for once such desire was in me as well a desire that nearly came true until the dreadful day of my Turning.
I could not blame her for desiring something everypony eventually wanted once his or her path crossed ways with the one special somepony. I could not blame the old Mire Oakhoof for a simple question I would probably ask myself if I would have been on her place. I could only blame myself for having some hope despite knowing that such hope was never to become true. Yes… this was something I could blame myself with and yet I could not simply push it away and forget it.
Mira noticed my strange behavior, my tense posture and the way Luna looked at me for I could feel her eye that was cutting me like a shard of a broken crystal.
“I am sorry…”
“You do not have to be Mrs. Oakhoof. Pity and kind words will not change anything in this matter… and good words often can only make things worse.” I said in a rough tone. The sound of the bouncing ball stopped right after Mira’s question but I did not hear it at all.
“Indeed good words are not always a helpful thing. But this will not change the fact that I feel sorry about my words. I should have known better and keep my old mouth shut.”
“Please don’t say that.” Said Luna while I was wondering if she was smiling or not. “I suggest we will change the subject for now. Corvus… could you please give me the letter?”
“Oh… yes but of course mistress. Pardon me I forgot…”
I did as she ask me and hand over the letter to her but as always I kept a certain distance a guard was supposed to keep from the one he served. Luna smiled at me sincerely while she grabbed the letter with her magic. As always this very smile mend the pain a bit and not for the first time it made me smile as well. Mira eyed us with her old and surprisingly inspective eyes for a short moment while we were lost in ourselves. The Princess broke the seal and opened the letter. While she was reading its content I made sure that our elderly guest did not lack anything.
After a short while Luna rolled the letter together and hid it in one her pockets of her attire.
“Thank you for bringing us the message Mrs. Oakhoof.”
“Nothing to thank for your Highness. I am only performing my duty and the duty of my predecessors.”
“I am sure that they are pleased with your work.” My respond has been rewarded with a very honest smile of an old mare that was deeply thankful for being praised for her duty but also being not useless in our eyes. I looked back at Luna who seemed to be lost in her thoughts. As usual she kept moving the object in front of her from left to right. If there would be nothing to hold on she would probably play around with her wondrous mane using her wings for that. Celestia often pointed it out that she was doing it but never than less her words never really had a effect on Luna about this matter.
I tried not to scratch my ear with the hook of my wing. Caelen was busy with his toys again which he was showing to Mrs. Oakhoof like it would be great treasures he has taken from a dragon’s lair.
Luna stood up and smiled at our guest. “Once again I thank you for delivering this message. As much I enjoyed our chat I am forced to perform my duties. But I sincerely hope that we will meet again.”
“I look forward to it Princess. I hope your hard work will be rewarded with ripe fruits; especially for the poor Unicorns.”
“I hope it as well…” As always she gracefully bowed and turned around moving towards the dressing room which she has been using only while we were not alone. Just the thought of the other wardrobe filled with clothes made me shake my head slightly but the other more pleasant thoughts brought forth other reactions.
Caelen intended to go with Luna but I quickly grabbed him with my magic and placed him next to me. He did not like that at all but after hearing that Luna would smooch him Caelen quickly ran to the nearest pile of paper and started to draw pictures. After the Princess closed the door behind her I felt like I should not leave her alone like that. I knew that the windows could not be broken with stone and other objects… but I was not willing to place my trust into them.
“It is time for me to go now. Before I will reach the estate on my own a half day will pass.”
“Does it mean you reached our apartment on foot? I am impressed. But there is no need for you to tire yourself with it good mare. I will send you back with one of our chariots.”
“I am not a big fan of chariots… especially in crowded cities. Thank you for your offer but I will go back on my own.”
“If you insist Mrs. Oakhoof I shall no longer bother you with chariots. I might have taken you for a short flight but the local rules do like to spoil the fun.”
“I like to fly with zeppelins but in my age I prefer to remain on the solid ground.” She smiled and looked at the door where Luna has entered. Right now the most depressing search for proper attires was in motion. A thing I preferred to avoid but with my bad luck I never managed to do it. “I do not wish to push myself into your private business Ambassador… but would you like to talk?”
A bit surprised about this question I remained motionless for a moment. The sound of the Caelen’s pencil filled the air while he eagerly drew creatures that seemed to not come from this world.
“Talk about what good mare?” I could have leave the question be for my feelings were telling me what she was about to say.
“I might be old but my eyes work fine. Besides that we the older ponies are not only good at annoying younger generations with our stories and tales oh no. We are very good listeners.”
“You sound like a very old friend of mine.” Indeed she did remind me of the old Dr. Strong Heart. Somehow he always seemed to look through the mask I was wearing since I have turned. What an interesting coincidence that another elder pony was able to do so as well.
“But I am not sure if I want to talk about it.”
“The reactions of both of you say something different. The way you looked at each other, even if it was only for a moment tells me more than a book could ever do.”
I looked at Caelen and make sure that nopony was spying on us. Gladly I could not feel anything that could have give me a slight hint of the “Third Eye” being used by Artemis. At least I hoped so… my broken horn became a burden with each day that passed in this city.
“I am scared Mrs. Oakhoof… I really am.”
“Scared to lose what you thought was lost?” My eyes met hers. Desperately I was trying to read something out of them but the only thing I was able to see was my own reflection. The eyes went down automatically as they always did once my refection appeared on the surface of a mirror I did not shatter. Deep in my heart I knew that my guest knew more than other ponies did… and now since I heard her words I realized that she was right. I needed a pony I could talk to.
“I will not be able to give her what she desires. I know what she wants… she wants something every mare and stallion wants. Happiness, the feeling of security, love and care… but most importantly a family.” Somehow I managed to look into her eyes again. “Children. Things I wish I could give her. I would die only to see her smile in the time of sadness. How am I supposed to give her things that have been violently taken away from me?”
“Many ponies shared your fate long before you have been born Mr. Corvus and not all of them are Lesser Ones. I can only imagine how it must have been for you… it must have been terrible. I have lost a lot. My family was nearly wiped out from the surface of the earth while the Black Death visited our land. But we had to go on. We mourned our dead and kept doing what we were meant to do. The loss of yours blinded you as did the things you must have heard from others. Oh I do know how cruel ponies can be… and I do not mean those who take life with steel. I can see that she is happy despite of your play. I can see that she feels safe with you around and I can see that you are more than an Ambassador or a Guard.”
“Nothing will change what has been done to me good mare… words come and go but for now they have filled me with some peace. But soon this peace will pass and the cruel reality will take over me again. I am afraid of losing her more than I am afraid to die. I am afraid that our… relation will not be accepted.”
“I will not bother you with many words boy. I know how it feels like to be afraid of losing something but there are things that we cannot control neither manipulate. If you will try to do so you will only lead to the loss and pain. But I have learned something very important and I wish that like me you will realize it that…” She stood up and went over to the door. She touched the door with her hoof on the places where the seals have been placed. I heard the loud KLACK that opened the door. She turned around and moved her mane a bit away showing me something I have not seen before. A small horn that was going out of her forehead; shorter than my broken horn. Her body build was not one of a typical Unicorn but right away the realization of who she really was appeared in my mind. She was a half Unicorn.
“When you fall in love… EVERYTHING is possible.” She hid her horn very well between her mane and bowed gracefully. “Good bye”. Mrs. Oakhoof spoke those words in the old Unicorn language which I have heard before the time of the Black Death. There I was… standing without knowing what should be done.
Caelen kept drawing his pictures while Luna… was leaning against the door. A thing I could see the way only a Alicorn could do. I could see that some kind of hope has grasped her heart and for the first time I wished I could not see things the way I was seeing them now. For deep in my heart I did not believe in the words of the old mare.