The portal has closed. All of the lights and sounds has faded away along with it... And, once again, there is nothing. No ponies trying to stop me. No world to conquer. No life. No death. Nothing.
And that sound of a complete and utter silence is the terrible reminder of my current predicament: once again, I am trapped in Limbo. Once again, I have been forced away from the world that should have trembled and bowed before me! Well, nothing new here, I guess... Except for that fact that this time it is worse. Previously, I had been trapped, and had to endure that thousand of timeless years, yes... But I wasn't alone. No, I had somepony trapped with me, by my side... The pony that was my host... The pony that I helped when everyone else had turned their backs on him... The pony that I considered my friend...
The pony who has betrayed and condemned me in the end.
Honestly, I have no idea what is more sickening: being trapped in here again...? Or having my only pony friend cast me out as if I was nothing. As if everything I did for him meant nothing...
They say I am heartless. They have been saying it for so long that I've grown to believe it. But if that's really true... Why am I feeling so sick right now? What is this bitter feeling that makes me wish all sorts of horrors upon the world those ponies cherish so much? What is that confusing emotion that almost makes this Limbo feel... comfortable to me? I don't have the slightest idea... I'm an expert when it comes to scaring the others to death. I'm an expert in banishing all of the Light in the world... But I'm not an expert in feelings.
And I am most certainly not an expert in friendship... or so it seems. What does the friendship really mean? What has made Stygian abandon everything in the matter of moments and wish to return to those who had cast him out...? To those who had not cared to listen to him in the first place. To those who had judged him blindly, lost in their own arrogance and pride. How could they possibly mean to him so much that he'd forgive the unforgivable...? And, most importantly... how could they mean to him more than I did?
I've welcomed him when noone else would. I've been there to console him when everypony had turned their backs on him. I've helped him regain his confidence when they had cast him out. I never left... I was with him all the way through that tough time of his life. And now... what do I get in return?! He has betrayed me! Abbandoned, left me behind! Cast me out, just like those ponies did to him! He's no better then any of them! He DESERVED that fate!!!
I shouldn't have helped him in the first place... What would have happened if I didn't? Cast out of the pony society, marked as a villain who attempted to take away their living legends... How long would have he survived without me? Would he come crawling back, begging them to forgive him for something he had never done...? Or would the solitude drive him insane, resulting in him taking his own life out of the sheer despair...?
I had helped him... And, probably, it's thanks to me that he's still alive. And yet... I heard no thanks from him. And now I am here, face-to-face with the everlasting silence, devoid of time, of ponies, of life... Is this what I deserved for helping him? I don't know... I could never tell how the world works or grasp the meaning of justice. I was just a passive darkness lurking in it. And when I tried to be active... well, now I'm here.
Oh, Shadow, what has become of you? Just look! You're already talking to yourself... Have you really grown attached to that pony so much? I can't believe you. He's the one who didn't appreciate your gift! He is beneath you! Why do you even care?! He doesn't deserve as much as your mere thought about him. Why did you even help him in the first place?!
Yeah... why did I help him? Why did I not just ignore him? Why did his... pain manage to attract my attention? I remember the way he looked when I had seen him for the first time. I am an ancient being, and I have seen a lot throughout the ages... But never before in my life had I seen a pony face expressing such an agonizing pain while their body had no signs of any sort of a wound. Never before had I seen the pony with their soul being so fractured, torn into pieces. Never before... had I seen somepony with their inner light so completely extinguished. Yeah, I couldn't ignore him... Because in him I had seen a soul I could relate to.
Had I done the right thing that day? Should I had not interfered? Was there another... better course of action for me to take? I don't know. But, well... It looks like I have enough time to think it over. After all... I have an entire eternity all to myself. Torn away from the world of Equestria, I no longer play any part in it...
Is this what it's like... to not exist?
Oh, well... Hello, Darkness. My old... and, it seems, only friend. It looks like only you are the one who's always there with me. You're not much of a talker, are you...? But, at the very least, your lingering presence shall keep me company throughout the timeless years I am going to spend here. You'll be here to listen, to share my thoughts, to remind me of who I am. And if it is any consolation... I can be certain that you shall never leave my side.
Author's Note
In loving memory...
The Shadow.
??? - S07E26
May the Light never dare to disturb your peace.
