The Stories Of A Mare Named Juicy Fruit

by Lucen Aurora

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Dark, Sad
Length: 12690

A collection of interrelated short stories about a mare named Juicy Fruit.

Juicy Fruit has many stories to tell. Some are stories of her life, some are stories she's heard. Some are the stories her daughter made with her friends. Some of them are sad. Some of them are happy, and a few will leave you wondering at the mares sanity. But none of them are boring; won't you sit a bit and hear what she has to say?

--

:The Silly Little Filly is rated for Comedy and Slice of Life. It contains OC, Princess Celestia.
:The Trembling Hoof is rated for Comedy and Slice of Life. It contains OC, Starswirl The Bearded.
:The Mountain is rated for Slice of Life, Sad and Dark. It contains OC, Berry Punch, Ruby Pinch.
:Canning Cherries is rated for Slice of Life. It contains OC, Derpy Hooves, Dinky Hooves.

Published 2012-07-22 01:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-27 02:16:32 UTC

The Silly Little Filly

The Story of The Silly Little Filly

“Is that, THE Cloudsdale,” asked a wide eyed Pegasus filly looking out the window as the train pulled into the station.

“That it is my little pony,” replied a Pegasus mare.

“WOW, how does something so BIG stay up there?” the filly asked in awe.

“Why, they are clouds my dear," her mother replied with a giggle.

“But how can anypony live there, I mean, you couldn't set a bag down on a cloud.” the filly replied as she stepped off the train, her mother right behind her.

“Oh, they just mix in powdered cloudstone when they make the special clouds that make up the city.” her mother replied as she nudged the young fillies flank to move her along out of the way of the stream of ponies leaving the train.

“Cloudstone? What's that?” the filly replied as she craned her neck to look at one of the many dazzling rainbow arches.

“Don't tell me you've never heard of cloudstone.” her mother replied with a laugh

“Whats so funny? I've never heard of it!” the filly pouted, tearing her gaze away from the sculpted clouds above her to scowl at her mother.

“Come over here, m'dear, sit next to me and I will tell you the story of how a Pegasus pony found cloudstone and built Cloudsdale.” her mother replied kindly from a nearby bench while gesturing to a spot next to her.

“Mooooom, is this going to be another one of your boring stories? I wanna go up now!” the filly replied, stomping one hoof impatiently.

The filly glared at her mother, impatient to go, but her mother simply smiled and kept tapping the seat next to her until her daughter grudgingly stomped over and sat down beside her in a huff.

“Now then, this is the story of the Silly Little Filly and how she found cloudstone!” her mother said with a flourish.

Once upon a time, long long, long, long, long, long ago, before Princess Celestia and Princess Luna brought the pony tribes together, back when the Pegasus ponies made their homes on the sides of high cliffs and in mountain caves, there was a silly little filly. The silly little filly loved to fly, swooping through clouds, but especially the clouds of a particular remote mountain. Her mother had told her to stay away from the mountain because it was said the mountain ate pegasi ponies. But the clouds around the forbidden mountain where both fluffier than all the rest and rainbow colored!

One day, she was swooping through some especially colorful and fluffy clouds, when, CRASH! She struck something mid flight and would have indeed been eaten had she not fell senseless onto a convenient ledge below. When she came to her senses and looked up, she saw something strange; the force of her crash had blown the clouds apart and revealed a colorful floating rock. As she flew up to investigate, she noticed the wind from her wings was pushing bits of cloud around the rock. She was amazed to see that as the bits of cloud touched the stone, the turned the same rainbow hue as the rock!
Not only that, but any clouds that touched the rainbow cloud became rainbow colored too!

Well, the silly little filly took the stone home to her mother who was very angry and surprised. Her mother took the rock from her and took it to her father. Her father was amazed, and took the rock down the street to the eldest stallion. The eldest stallion was amazed and took it to the town mayor. The mayor was amazed and took it to the royal sheriff. The royal sheriff was amazed and took it to the royal doorpony at the castle of the queen. The royal doorpony was amazed and took it to the royal steward. The royal steward was amazed and took it to the royal captain of the guard . The royal captain of the guard was amazed and presented it to the queen. The queen was amazed and ordered the silly little filly to appear before the court.

The silly little filly was filled with dread. She thought she was going to be punished by the queen for constantly disobeying her mother, and going to the Pegasus eating mountain. When the silly little filly stood before the queen her hooves and wings trembled.

The queen saw this and asked, “Pray thee child, why do you tremble so?”

Unable to control herself, the silly little filly threw herself at the queens feet and sobbed, “Please my queen, please do not banish me, or throw me in a dark pit or make me eat meat! I promise I will never again disobey my mother, I will never again go near the pegasi pony eating mountain with the colorful fluffy clouds ever again!”

Now, the queen was good and wise and quickly saw what was going on.

“You silly little filly, I'm not angry with you. I will not banish you, or throw you in a dark pit never to feel the wind nor make you eat meat! I want to thank and reward you,” she queen said in a kindly tone.

The silly little filly stopped sobbing and looked up in wonderment at her good and wise queen.

“My royal advisers tell me that with this wonderful rock we can build a city out of clouds that will be the envy of all the earth ponies and unicorn ponies alike and it's all thanks to you!”

The silly little filly was overjoyed and gave a great whoop, jumped into the air and began to do somersaults and cartwheels while the queen and her court smiled up at her.

The queen was as good as her word, and soon a great city of clouds and rainbow stone was built, mighty and majestic for all the earth ponies and unicorn ponies to be envious of.

From that day forward, the silly little filly was an honored guest of the queen and all her royal court. The silly little filly was also given the title of princess of Cloudsdale, where lived out the rest of her days, happy and content.

The end.

The filly continued to squirm in her seat, rolling her eyes and sighing.

“Mooooom, that WAS another one of your lame stories, I mean, I'm not three anymore, I'm not going to fall for THAT. Jeez.” the filly groaned.

“And just whats 'lame' about it, my dear? I happen to love that particular story,” came a sweet voice from the fillies side.

“Whaddya mean whats 'lame' about...” the filly gasped. Sitting right next to her was none other than Princess Celestia herself.

“Why, I remember when 'I' told your mother that story many years ago, and I can assure you that is is very much true.”

There was a thud as the little filly slipped trying to climb off her seat and then a tail in the air as she bowed low enough to bonk her head on the ground.

“I, I, I'm s-so-sorry P-Princess! Please don't banish me to the moon!” the filly cried in terror.

“Oh, my silly little filly, I won't banish you to the moon, or throw you in a dark hole never to feel the wind again or make you eat meat!” the princess said with a hearty laugh in which the fillies mother joined in.

“And you, Juicy Fruit, I haven't seen you in years, I trust your parents are well?”

“Oh yes,” the mare replied with a smile.

“Do they still run that Inn in Ponyville?” the princess asked.

“They retired years ago and left it to me, but they are watching it while I take the silly little filly here for her first visit to Cloudsdale.”

“Well, you enjoy your stay. You too my silly little filly,” said the princess with a kind smile as she got up and strode away, flanked by two Pegasus pony guards that seemed to come out of nowhere.

Juicy Fruit looked down at her daughter, who was standing in shock, mouth agape.

“Well, Kool Aid, shall we be going?” the mare asked nonchalantly as she walked away, leaving the awestruck little filly to slowly catch up.

The Trembling Hoof

The Story of the Trembling Hoof

"Moooom, can we stop now? It's almost dusk and my hooves hurt," whined a young pegasus filly as she threw herself onto the ground and rolled onto her back.

"Now, now," replied a patient pegasus mare as she rounded the corner of a large wodden platform that she and her daughter had spent the better part of the afternoon building, "Only a bit longer, Kool Aid."

"Why are we building a wood platform out in the middle of knowhere; I mean, what is with that?" Kool Aid asked as she rolled back and forth in the grass.

"I mean, this is earth pony work! And besides, I could have gone to see the Wonderbolts this afternoon with Ruby Pinch!" moaned the filly as she stopped rolling and covered her face with her hooves.

"Because this needed to be done today, and you needed to be here. Besides, if you want to see a REAL airshow, you need to see the Flying Walendas. That Nick is such a cutie," she said with a slight blush and a giggle.

Kool Aid groaned and kicked her legs weakly in the air, her small wings spread as wide as she could across the ground

"Not the Flying Walendas again, the Wonderbolts are way cooler. What do you have have against the Wonderbolts, anyway?"

The pegasus mare grunted as she hauled a pedastal out of a nearby cart and onto her back, trotted up onto the the platform the and slid the pedastal gingerly down onto it. She moved the pedastal about with her hooves until it was roughly centered then fetched a glass orb with swirling grey smoke in it from the cart and gingerly set the orb onto the pedastal.

"I just had a bad experience with the Wonderbolts when I was a filly, is all, " her mother replied as she sat down next to her daughter and surveyed their handiwork.

"Mooooom, the Wonderbolts wheren't around when you where a Filly!" Kool Aid said huffily, "Are we done now?"

"Almost Kool Aid, you just need to go around an pick up the tools, and be sure to use your hooves, not your wings!"

Kool Aid groaned and rolled onto her belly, slowly dragging herself forward with only her front hooves toward the nearest tool, her back legs dragging behind her.

"You know I suck at using my hooves to hold stuff! Can't I use my wings?" she begged as she stopped in front of a rather large hammer.

"You need the hoof practice dear," the pegasus mare replied as she scanned the surrounding fields as if looking for something.

"No I don't!" Kool Aid cried, leaping to her hooves and stamping her front ones," It's just... just... dumb! Only earth ponies need to use their hooves 'cause they have no magic at all!"

"No magic?" replied the pegasus mare, feigning surprise, "Why, the earth ponies are the closest of all of the tribes to the source of magic, Kool Aid."

Kool Aid groaned and fumbled with the hammer in front of her, trying unsucessfully to pick up the hammer while flexing her wings in agitation.

"Mooooom, everypony knows earth ponies have no magic, that's just a dumb thing to say."

"Oh? Did I ever tell you the story of the Trembling Hoof? It's a good story." the pegasus mare said with a little smile as Kool Aid finally managed to grab the hammer in her front hoofs. Flapping her wings franticly to keep her front end in the air. Kool Aid took a few steps with her back legs but couldn't keep her blance and dropped the hammer.

"Oh, here we go," Kool Aid said, rolling her eyes, "One of Juicy Fruits famous stories. I suppose the 'princess' told you this story too."

Kool Aid made air quotes with her wings when she said the word princes.

"No, actually, it was Starswirl the Bearded that told me that story."

"Who's that? I suppose you have a look alike for her nearby? Like you did for the princess? Is that why you keep looking around, to see if she's here?" the filly said with a snort while she glared at the hammer in front of her.

"That really was the princess, you know, and as for Starswirl, HE was the father of all modern unicorn magic. He knew magic better than anypony, and he's credited with creating nearly all of the spells unicorns use today." Juicy Fruit replied with a laugh as she watched her daughter try unsucessfully to nudge the hammer with her nose across the ground back towards the wagon.

"But I'm getting away from the story, aren't I?"

Kool Aid groaned.

A long time ago, befor the Equestria we know and love today was born, back when there where still three pony tribes, there was a small pony village far, far to the south of where Canterlot is now. At the edge of that village lived a very old earth pony mare with her grandfilly. This earth pony was so old that whenver she walked, her hooves would go snick snack and her joints would go crick crack, so her grandfilly was often sent out to run errands for her. It just so happend that one day, while she sat in her rocking chair and her grandfilly was off on an errand that a brash young pegasus stallion touched down right in front of her little cottage. Back then the pegasus and earth ponies didn't get along at all, and in fact, the pegasus ponies looked down upon the earth ponies. Now the stallion had been flying for many days and was very tired, so tired that he would even stop in an inn at an earth pony town. He stormed right up to the porch where the old earth pony was rocking in her rocking chair and demanded in a loud voice:

"Old hag, old hag, direct me to the inn!"

The old earth pony just smiled at him and reached down into the basket beside her that was full to the brim with apples. She touched her hoof to an apple and pulled it out easily, if not slowly because she was old and her joints didn't work like they used to. The pegausus, seeing that she was ignoring him, became enraged. He lunged forward at her and tried to knock that apple right off of her hoof. And you know what? It didn't budge! The pegasus was stunned, he was young and strong, he should have been able to easily knock the apple away, but it was no good. He tried a second time, only this time he soared up into the air and came down like a thunderbolt, swooping past and trying to knock the apple from her hoof. Well, the force of the blow would have sent it splattering everywhere, except that the vortex from the flight pulled all of that apple splatter behind and into him, covering him in stickyness. And worse, when he looked back he saw the old earth pony with what was left of the apple still stuck to her hoof. And still she smiled at him.

"You must be a witch, old mare, Trembling hooves such as yours couldn't possibly hold that apple, no hoof can," cried the pegasus

So, sticky, disgusted and defeated, the pegasus flew off towards the town to try to find the inn on his own.

It wasn't long after that when an unicorn pony came into sight, swaggering slowly down the road, a single rose levitated to her nose which she kept firmly up in the air. She wore a ridiculous costume that included a large, trimmed cloak and an elaborate hat nearly as big as herself made of a patchwork of brightly colored and poorly coordinated cloth. The old earth pony watched her slowly swagger up to the cottage, only when she stopped to address the earth pony did she reach into her bushel of apples and pull out a single apple just by touching it.

"You, old mare, where can I find an inn in this little hovel. I demand you tell me at once!" the unicorn said haughtily, without bothering to look over at the old earth pony.

The old mare looked at the unicorn with a wry smile and took a slow bite out of her apple, chewing it in no particular hurry. When she didn't get an immediate response, the unicorn finally deigned to look at the old mare with a scowl and spoke again.

"Old mare, tell me where to find the inn! Or shall I wipe that grin, off your wrinkled old chin?" the unicorn sneered at her

The old mare smiled back at the unicorns scowling face and took another slow bite out of her apple. Enraged, the unicorns horn lit up! The half eaten apple was surrounded by the light of her magic and she tossed her head back as if to tear it from the old ponies hoof, but instead only wrenched her own neck. She tried again, and again to use her magic to try and tear the apple from the old mares hoof, but in the end could only rage and fume as the old mare slowly finished her delecious treat. Finally, angry and defeated, the unicorn stormed away towards town, muttering all the while that she couldn't believe that Trembling old hooves could possibly defeat her magic.

It wasn't long after that that the old mares grandfilly came cantering up, out of breath. She looked as if she had run a long, long way.

"Gram! Gram! Are you alright? There was a great rucus in town, a unicorn and a pegasus!"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine my dear," the grandmare replied, "I was just stting here, and enjoying my apples when some ruffians came by and tried to take them from me, unsucessfully I might add."

The fillies eyes widened to hear this.

"But gram, how? The pegasus was so big and strong and the unicorn had magic!" the filly protested.

"Silly little filly, we earth ponies have the strongest magic of all. All magic comes from the earth, from there is passes into the sky and the sea. The pegasus magic of flight and cloudwalking and even the unicorn magic as wonderfull as it might seem all rely on the magic that comes from the earth and goes back to the earth."

The filly mulled this over for a bit before speaking again.

"But gram, how did you keep them from stealing your apples?"

"They tried to take them from my Trembling old hoof, my dear, but I held fast to them. Surely you must see that hooves are not made to hold things? Yet all of the ponies, earth, pegasi and unicorn can do so. This is the earths blessing, and proof that the unicorns and pegasi are no better or worse than us."

The filly bowed her head in awe of her grandmares wisdom and the old mare smiled kindly down upon her grandfilly, as she touched another apple and pulled it from it's basket.

The *UGH* End *HUFF*

Juicy Fruit grunted one last time as she manged to push the wagon she had hauled the wood, tools and supplies she had brought onto it's side. Kool Aid, who had been watching her mother push it over from where she lay on her back, rolled onto her belly just as her mother walked up to her and grabbed Kool Aids mane in her teeth, picking her daughter up. Kool Aid squirmed and complained as Juicy Fruit walked around to the side facing away from the pedastal and gently put her daughter down. Kool Aid started to say something only to be hushed by a huge BANG and a rush of air that threw her flat and knocked the wind from her.

When she she managed to open her eyes and peek around the broken remains of the wagon she saw a terrifying site; a large green and purple swirling portal had opened mere feet from the platform and out had walked a huge stallion. He was jet black with glowing red eyes and a red horn. His teeth where yellow and crooked and his mane was matted, with the skulls and bones of smaller animals woven in.

"At last!" he exalted in a booming voice that could curdle milk, "The Orb of Infinite Ancient Death is mine!"

Kool Aids chest hit the ground again, her tail in the air her wings folded close and her hooves covering her face. She felt her mothers reassuring pressence and pressed herself tightly against it.
There was the sound of hooves climbing up onto the platform, then the voice of a young filly.

"Hey! Dumbface!"

"Unhand that orb, fiend!" cried the voice of an older stallion.

"You are too late, Starswirl!" crowed a booming voice that could have been a thousand cats being roasted alive, " I have the Orb of Infinite Ancient Death at la... WHAT!?"

Kool Aid uncovered her eyes just long enough to see the dark stallion being stretched like a rubber band and being sucked into the orb, his face contorted in a comic expression of shock. She lept to her hooves in astonishment, her mouth agape. Juicy Fruit stood up beside her and gently closed her daughters mouth with a hoof before walking over to the filly and the old stallion, who now stood bewildered on the platform. The older stallion had a long white beard, grey fur, a deep blue cloak with yellow stars and an enormous deep blue hat with bells all along the brim and on it's tassle. The filly wore nothing, but had the same yellow coat and red mane as Juicy Fruit.
"Hail and well met, good mare. Was this your doing?" asked the old stallion, gesturing towards the orb which now lay on the platform.

"Well, a little bit, starswirl, " she replied, looking down at the bored little filly rolling her eyes next to him.

There was a clatter as Kool Aid climbed up next to her mother and Juicy Fruit looked down to see her daughter staring at the the other filly.

"Who are you?" demaned the unknown filly, her attention turning to Kool Aid.

"I'm Kool Aid," she replied, "Who are you?"

"I'm Juicy Fruit," said the filly before turning to look at starswirl, "Can we GO nooooow? I'm missing the Flying Walendas airshow!"

"You can't be Juicy Fruit!" Kool Aid blurted out.

"And why not!?" demaned the filly Juicy Fruit

"'Cause my mom is Juicy Fruit!" Kool Aid shouted

"What? That dumpy old mare!" filly Juicy Fruit Taunted.

"You take that back!" shouted Kool Aid.

"Make me!" shouted filly Juicy Fruit.

Before either adult could intervene, Kool Aid leapt at filly Juicy Fruit and the two rolled off the platform biting and kicking and shouting. starswirl looked on in astonishment but the mare only laughed heartily at the two fillies rolling around on the grass.

"Bucker!" yelled filly Juicy Fruit.

"Horseapple!" yelled Kool Aid.

"Needlenoggin!" yelled filly Juicy Fruit.

"Fillyfooler!" yelled Kool Aid.

"Parasprite!" yelled filly Juicy Fruit.

"Girls!" bellowed the mare Juicy Fruit above the din.

Both girls stopped what they where doing, filly Juicy Fruit with a hoof in Kool Aids Eye, and Kool Aid mid bite on filly Juicy Fruits ear. Both of them untagled themselves and stood up, side by side as the mare Juicy Fruit lightly lept down from the platform from where starswirl watched, a bemused expression on his wrinkled old face.

"That's quite enough from both of you." the mare Juicy Fruit declared sternly.

Both fillies hung their heads, neither saying a thing.

"Now then, Juicy Fruit, you need to go back to your own time with Starswirl, "the mare began, "And don't worry, he will send you back the same time you left, you will get to watch the Flying Walends."

Filly Juicy Fruit looked up at her older self sheepishly, to see the mare grinning broadly. She grinned back then walked over to where starswirl stood. Kool Aid stole a look up at her mother who was watching her younger self with a wistfull expression.

"Pray tell me, mare Juicy Fruit, this is clearly an orb of entrapment, " Starswirl said, levitating the orb with the dark pegasus contained within in front of him, "Where did thou get it?"

"You levitated it up off the platform, and gave it to me for safekeeping, Starswirl, just after the events that happened here." the mare replied with a smile.

"I see..." starswirl said, running a hoof through his long beard and nodding absently to himself, " A predestination paradox..."

"Come ooooon, Starswirrl!" whined filly Juicy Fruit.

"Jeez, mom. Where you always this obsesed with the Flying Walendas as a filly?" Kool Aid asked.

"No less than you are with the Wonderbolts dear, " Juicy Fruit replied with a chuckle.

"The who?" filly Juicy Fruit asked

"The Wonderbolts! Only the bestest flyers in all of Equstria!" Kool Aid replied, puffing out her chest and feathers as well as flexing her wings.

"Nuh uh! The Flying Walendas would kick their tails!" filly Juicy Fruit replied puffing out HER chest and feathers as well as flexing HER wings.

"Uh huh! The Wonderbolts are the best!" Kool Aid Replied.

Starswirl just shook her head slightly and began to cast the return timespell.

"Nu Uh!"

"Uh Huh!"

"Nu Uh!"

"Uh Huh!

"Nuh..."

Filly Juicy Fruit never finished her taunt, because at just that moment, starswirl finished his spell and they both dissapeared with an gentle pop.

Kool Aid blinked, and then looked up at her mother who had began to walk away, leaving the now shattered, burnt and and twisted tools where they lay.

"Hey! Wait up mom! Geez, you really where annoying as a filly, wheren't you. I mean, c'mon, everybody knows the Wonderbolts are the best!" Kool Aid said with a laugh as she cantered to catch up with her mother.

"And now you know why I don't like the Wonderbolts." Juicy Fruit deadpanned.

Kool Aid stumbled and skidded to a halt, dumstruck.

The Mountain

The Mountain

Kool aid huffed and puffed as she pushed a box nearly as big as herself over to a pile of junk. Nearby, Berry Pinch was was trying her best to levitate a old chair to the same pile that was located near the wide, deep stairwell. Sitting on a battered old chair next to a nicked up table where they could see everything going on in the cavernous attic was Juicy Fruit with a pitcher of steaming black coffee and Berry Punch, nursing a jug of blackberry wine.

"And thash, and thash how I ended up betting a stuffed palm tree for the bar!" Berry Punch slurred enthusiasticly as she gesticulated with her front hooves, nearly spilling her jug of wine.

Juicy Fruit giggled, delicatly picked up a coffee mug with one wing, and gulped the whole thing down.

Berry Punch eyed her warily.

"How cansh you drink that shtuff, smells worse than ushual." she asked as Juicy Fruit refilled the cup and grinned at her friend.

"Got used to the stuff a while back. And your right, it's absolute swill as far as coffee goes, but after developing a taste for it, I can't seem to enjoy anything else."

"Shame, should try thish stuff." Berry replied, offering the jug.

"No thanks there Berry, I gave up drinking a long time ago," Juicy Fruit replied with a grin, "Gets me into far too much trouble for my own good."

Berry Punch shrugged and took another swig of the jug, and settled back onto her chair, grinning stupidly.

"Ugh! Mooooom, we can't move this chest!" Kool Aid Moaned.

Juicy Fruit turned and looked to see the two fillies struggling with a large, ironbound chest. Kool Aid was straining in vain to push it with her front hooves, her back hooves braced against the rough wooden floor. Berry Pinch had joined her and had also managed to futily surround it with a telekentic field that didn't seem to do much.

"Oh, that's mine. Let me get that." Juicy Fruit replied, getting up and walking over to the chest. The two fillies backed off and watched as the mare easily tipped it up with one hoof, got her muzzle under it and and just as easily flipped it onto her back. She then took over to the table and deftly slid it onto the floor next to her chair.

Currious, Berry Punch got up, staggerd a bit and tried the same trick, pushing on the top of the chest to try and tip it forward. When it wouldn't budge, she put both hooves on it and tried to tip it again to no avail. Even after digging in he hind hooves, the chest refused to move so much as an inch.

"Wow! Thatsh heavy! Howd, howed you do thash?" Berry asked, turning to look in astonishment at the pegasus mare who had been idly preening her wing feathers.

"It's not THAT heavy, Berry." Juicy Fruit said with a smile.

"No, it's even heavier. I mean, Uh, I'm an, Earth Pony. I should be able to move thash." Berry Punch said eyeing the trunk warily, "Yer a Pegasi, Not shupposed to be strong like ush."

Juicy Fruit giggled at the unintentional compliment.

"Whats even IN there?" asked Kool Aid as she trotted over with a fair sized box up on her back.

Juicy Fruit got back up from where she had sat back down and undid the latch of the trunk, flipping the lid open. Kool Aid slid the box off her back and got her hooves up on edge and looked in.

"Wow, it's Armor!" said Ruby Pinch who had gotten up beside her friend.

"I bet it's my dads!" Kool Aid said excitely, "He was in the Solar Guard!"

"Really? Wow! I've never met him. Can I sometime?"

Kool Aid wilted a bit at her friends words and got down off the chest, hanging her head.

"Uh, Kool Aid?" Ruby asked concerned.

"My dad died before I was born, while on a mission or something." Kool Aid replied.

"Oooooh, I'm sorry." Ruby Pinch replied, gettind down off the chest and putting a hoof on her friends shoulder.

"So'k. Never really met him. But why are you keeping Dads armor in the chest?" she asked, turning to her mother.

All eyes where on Juicy Fruit now.

"Actually, That's MY armor, kiddo." Juicy Fruit said with a rather sad voice.

"Huh? You mean Dads armor is yours now?" Kool Aid asked, sounding confused.

"No, I mean, that's my guard armor, the armor I used to wear." her mother replied evenly.

"Woah! You where a guard pony, Mrs. Juicy fruit!" asked Ruby Pinch with wide eyes.

"Now that's a good story!" Kool Aid said eagerly.

"Too bad you two are being PUNISHED for sneaking into Mrs. Berry Punches bar and getting into her Liqour. Now get back to work!" Juicy Fruit barked.

The two fillies jumped back a bit and scampered off to keep collecting junk and boxes for the pile.

"I'm not being punished," Berry Punch stated, "I didn' know you where in sha guard, Juishy, why did shoo quit?

"Technically, I never did. When I became pregnant with Kool Aid I was put on maternity leave, and when she was born they transfered me into the guard reserves. I could be called up again if there was a war or natural disaster or civil unrest. I just take out the armor once a month to adjust the fit, clean it up, whatever, and report twice a year back to Canterlot for a couple of days." she explained.

"Wooooow, thatsh, thatsh heavy. But howsh, howsh you get into the guard to begin wish?" she asked as she took another swig of her wine.

Juicy Fruit got up and made a little leap into the air, suspending herself with her wings and scowling at the two fillies who had thought themselves hidden and where now lounging and talking in whispers. Seeing the mare was onto them, they got right back to work, Ruby awkwardly sweeping up debris off the attic floor and Kool Aid pushing a rather large box towards the stairs.

Settling back down on her chair, Juicy Fruit went on with her story. "Well, I was kind of wild as a filly and as soon as I got the chance I signed up for the Guard, just to get out of Canterlot, you know. Can you imagine my frustration when I was immediatly reassigned as a castle guard? I had a feeling my parents had something to do with that, but I could never prove it."

"Oooooh, sho, did you ever get out of the cashel?" Berry asked as she looked sorrowfuly into the neck of her now empty wine jug.

"Aaaaah, well. That's a pretty crazy story. It's actually the story of how I met Kool Aids father."
Juicy Said, her voice a little sad.

Kool Aid and Berry Pinch trotted up, a large box on Kool Aids Back, partially supported by Berry Pinches telekenetic filed, where they stacked it on several more boxes.

"Niesh, you gonna tell it?" Berry asked.

Juicy sighed and then downed another cup of coffee.

"You sure you want to hear it? It's also the story of why I don't drink," Juicy said with a mischevious grin.

"Oh! Oh! I love horror shtories!" Berry said throwing her front hooves wide and tipping backwards into a giggling heap of chair and pony.

"I had been in the guard about a year when I decided to go to a mixer party for the guards that was being held in one of the castle guard towers. Well, I got drunk. I mean, so drunk I could hardly stand. I met another guard, a piebald unicorn pony, kinda small for a stallion, and a bit timid. He was just about as sloshed as I was and somehow I came up with the idea of sneaking into Princess Celestias personal quarters. "

There was a collective gasp from Berry, Ruby and Kool Aid. A glare from Juicy sent the filles scurrying back to work.

"Well, I don't remember all of it, but somewhere along the way we decided to have a fashon show, and I was putting on the princess' dresses and even managed to get a crown from somewhere. The stallion was laying on the princees' bed and I was stumbling back and forth while he whistled and cheered. Celestia help us we trashed her private room that night, got wine on her bed, I think the stallion threw up in the wardrobe."

Berry leaned forward, raptly if drunkenly, attentive.

"Well, in the middle of all this, who should walk in but Princess Celestia herself."

There was another collective gasp from the mare and the two fillies, only this time the fillies had scurried off before Juicy even turned to glare at them.

"Well, she walkes in on us, and I look at her, and I say, 'How do I look?'"

"You didn't." Berry said, wide eyed.

"She looks right back at me, smiles and says, 'You look lovely, dear', so of course, I take that moment to PUKE all over the dress I was wearing. I found out later that it cost more than I made in a year."

"Whoah, what about the stallion?" Berry asked.

"I have no idea what he was doing, I was too damn scared and then too damn busy puking on myself to care."

"I know THAT feeling, " Berry said with a sage nod.

"Long story short, the next thing I can clearly remember, I'm back in my barracks, on my bed with a monster of a hangover. It's the middle of the day, I'm late for my shift, can't find my armor anywhere and I vaughly remember the night before."

"What did you do?" asked Ruby as she set down another box.

"The only thing I could do. I panicked. I sat down, and started bawling my eyes out." Juicy Replied.

"Well, next day I get called into the office of the staff seargent along with the stallion fromt he party. Now the Staff Seargent was a unicorn named Rough Neck. He was one of those sterotypical guards you see in plays and novels who likes to yell; particularly at a couple of privates who break into the quarters of the sun goddess. When he got going he could swear at you until your ears bled, and he had this one huge vein right next to his left ear that would pulsate when he was angry. So you know, I was expecting to get the chewing out of my life."

At the worlds 'chewing out of my life', Juicy glanced over at the two fillies who where slowly moving an old rickety end table out from underneath an equally old fainting couch. Seeing them still hard at work, Juicy went on.

"Well, we get in there and are standing at attention in front of him, not daring to breath. He looks up at us and gestures for us to sit down. Without getting up from his seat he levitates two folders over to us and we both take one. 'Those are your new assignments', he says in a perfectly calm voice. I swear to celestia, it was just CREEPY." Juicy shivered a bit and finished the last of her jug of coffee flavored swill.

"Inside are our reassignment orders, to a little town on the edge of the mild west, called Swiss Colt, and I remember thinking the place couldn't have had a hundred ponies living there. I look up at the staff seargent, but the first one to talk is the stallion next to me, 'Permission to speak sir,' he says. The staff seargent, just nods, 'Um, about the other night, sir' he begins, but the staff seargent holds up a hoof. Then he does something that to this day, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl, " Juicy said with a shudder.

A wide eyed Berry Punch had leaned forward until her face was just inches from Juicys.

"That bucker, starts to grin, just a little bit at first, then ever so slowy, the sides of his mouth just creep up, and creep up until he has the biggest, shit eating grin I have EVER seen. I mean, I can handle the screaming and the yelling and the pulsing blood vessel next to his ear. You won't last long in the guard if violence of foul language bothers you. I never did like that flankhole, and I'm sure he did it just to buck with us."

"What does Shit-Eating mean, "whispred Ruby to Kool Aid.

"I dunno?" Kool Aid whispered Back.

"It means even though you are done moving things to the stairs, you need to go and tell the hotel manager to send somepony up to get this stuff out of here and THEN you will come straight back here and start scrubbing the walls and floors," Juicy said with a scowl as she leaned over the nearby railing and looked down at the fillies.

The fillies yelped and bolted down the stairs to do as they where told.

"And don't either of you repeat those words!" Juicy hollared after them.

"Dayum. I'm starting to sober up." Berry moaned as she lay on her back, looking at the ceiling.

"So I suppose you don't want to hear the rest of the story?" Juicy said, sounding just a tad bit relieved.

"Nooooo, stories are good for sobering up. But go ahead anyway." Berry replied, holding her head in her hooves.

"Well, the very same afternoon we where put on a train heading for Appleoosa; there were no trains that ran to Swiss Colt. We where greeted at the Appleoosa train station by our guide, a palamino earth mare and two of the dirtiest, most wretched looking guards I had ever laid eyes on. They looked and smelled like they hadn't bathed in YEARS, and their guard armor was so badly beat up and corroded that it was a miracle it wasn't falling off every time they moved. Those two earth pony mares stopped, looked at us for a minute and then burst out into a round of maniacal giggles before walking past us up onto the train. I swear Berry, it was nightmare fuel type stuff."

"My HEAD feels Maniacal," Moaned berry.

"By that evening we where on the road heading further west to Swiss Colt, pulling a huge wagon full of supplies with our earth pony guide up top. I don't think I had said two words to that stallion the whole trip up to that point and he didn't have much of anything to say to me either. We knew well enough that that this was our punishment for breaking into the sun goddess' quarters and worse yet those two earth mares had shaken us badly. It didn't help matters that our guide liked to talk, alot. That mare didn't shut up the whole bucking trip. We learned that Swiss Colt only had a dozen residents, that we where two of only three guards stationed out there and that the 'town' was really nothing more than a forward listening post."

"Whufs Uh Lifening Pofst" asked Kool Aid around a large bucket of water in her mouth as she walked up the stairs, Ruby not far behind with a similiar bucket.

"It's where you two will be sitting, listening to your bellies growl tonight if you don't get straight back to work. Start with the walls and then the windows and lastly the floor." Juicy Fruit deadpanned.

The two fillies groaned, then Berry groaned, though for a different reason.

"Well, we got to Swiss Colt and the 'town' consisted of one large shack up on a big hill with a series of smaller shacks scatterd around it. There was an old well at the bottom of the hill and a series of teired embankments with stone and wood spikes sticking out. We left that cart at the bottom of the hill as the 'resident's filed out of their respective 'houses' and garthered around. About the only shack nopony came out of was that big one. As the ponies started to unload that cart, our guide gestured to the biggest shack and told us to go check in with our new commander."

"Was he handsome at least?" Berry asked as she rolled groggily onto her stomache.

"Berry, you ever see Big Macintosh, over at Sweet Apple Acres?" Juicy asked

"Sure he comes into town now and gain. What, was your commander his brother or somethin'?"

"Berry, when that door swung open, I pissed myself. That stallion was easily THREE times Big Mac's size and twice again as broad. Not only that, he was shorn from the tip of his nose to the tip of his fetlocks in battle armor that had to be an inch thick at its thinniest. Words cannot do justice to just how bucking massive he was. I never learned his real name because everybody just called him The Mountain, Commander Mountain to us."

"Twice as big as Big Mac huh?" Berry said incredulously

"At least."

"So, what kind of Cutiemark did The Mountain have?" Berry asked

"I have no clue."

"Huh?"

"He NEVER took the armor off, at least never in front of anypony else, and frankly, I doubt he ever did even when he was alone."

"But, what if he got hurt or something?"

"He was The Mountain. He didn't get hurt."

"That's kinda stupid, Juicy."

"You didn't question The Mountain, he just... was." Juicy matter of factly deadpanned.

"Eh heh. Kinda scaring me her Juicy." Berry muttered.

Juicy Fruit simply shrugged, her blank expression giving way to a melencholy one.

"Turns out that though we three where the only 'official' guards, the rest of the residents of Swiss Colt where working for the princess in some capacity or other, cooks, blacksmiths, the usual stuff you find in a military camp. The stallion and I each got a small, cramped shack barely big enough to lay down in. No bed, no cushions or chairs, not even a peg to hang our saddle bags. We quickly found out that we wouldn't need them."

Juicy Fruit paused, her voice fading away and her eyes glassing over. Berry glanced over, looking concerned.

"The Mountain, he, he was, brutal." Juicy continued quietly. "When he told you to do something, you did it, or so help you Celestia, you would get it. I, well, pretty early on I let my smart mouth loose on him, refused an order get up and around when he wanted me to get up. When the mountain told you to do something, you didn't argue with the Mountain. I grumbled through the door that it wasn't even dawn yet and even told him to buck off when he growled; that was the only time I would ever get a second warning, probably the closest he ever got to being 'gentle' with the new recruits. Well, I'm told, since I was inside and couldn't see, that he bucked the side of my shack. Berry, in one buck he shattered the shack and sent me flying over the embankments where I landed , miraculously enough, without any broken bones, but more than a few bruises, scrapes and splinters. He thunders right up behind me, puts his face to mine and curls one lip and snarls 'NEVER'. I tell you what, Berry, I never did two things for the rest of my stay in Swiss Colt; I never took my armor off, and I never, EVER, questioned The Mountain again."

Juicy Fruit sat quietly for several minutes, her eyes downcast and glassy. It wasn't until Berry put a comforting hoof around her shoulders and the two foals nuzzled her flanks that she came back to herself with a start.

"That sounds simply horrible; try not to dwell on it too much, he was just a huge flankhole." Berry said sympatheticly.

"NO!" Juicy roared, stomping a hoof on the wood floor and shattering it. All three ponies jumped back in surprise.

"No. No, The Mountain, he was, was harsh. No doubt about that, but to tell you the truth," she hung her head in shame, "I, I needed what he had to give. Swiss Colt was a hot, miserable, helish ordeal. Every single day we would patrol a huge swath of land from before dawn until nearly dusk. During that patrol, we almost never stopped; the stallion and The Mountain never stopped running, and I never touched the ground because those where his orders.The Mountain, he, taught us the discipline that we never bothered to learn at the academy, and he opened doors for us, not that we appreciated it at the time. Every night he would run us through combat training, he even talked me through some pretty henious flight manuevers. Stuff that would impress even the Wonderbolts I bet, though those manuevers where meant for combat, not the wholesome family entertainment those dolts act out. Then came the strength training. He could crush boulders with his hooves, thankfully, he just expected us to haul them back and forth until we where ready to collapse from exhaustion. Heh, even meals where rough. Hay, oats, bad coffee, the blander the better."

Juicies gaze wandered over the empty coffee pot and then to where her daughter and her friend where trying to clean a window, but getting as many hoofprints on it as they where wiping off.

"That land? It imprinted us with an appreciation for all of the good things we had thrown away with our stupid antics. It was wide, open and endless. A romantic pony would call it rugged, I called it a wasteland. Nothing grew there, it was just powdered quartz and salt. The buffalo called that section of the Mild West the Cursed Salt Flats, and not even their bravest warriors would enter that place. And the heat? It's not the heat of the Ponyvilles spa, its the heat of the sun refracted and magnified by an endless expanse of salt and quartz crystals. It heated our armor up so much that it would have burnt our fur and scorched the flesh underneath if we hadn't worn wool blankets underneath, and those just made the heat more miserable."

Berry shook her head in disbelief, but let Juicy continue.

"And of course, with water scarce as it was, we didn't bathe. Sweat, dirt, blood, quartz, salt, it all mingled and stuck. At first the smell was awful. I'm not proud to say I spent more than a few nights with the dry retches. Thankfully, after a while, you became numb to it. Between the stench of our own bodies and that swill they called coffee, well, my sense of smell and taste has been bucked up ever since."

Juicy paused and eyed the pile of boxes, then the stairs before shaking her head and going on.

"Well, that stallion and I where out there for a good three years before any relief was sent out. I will never forget that day, though, the rest of them just blur together in my mind. It was a day just like every other day that had come before, we got up before dawn, stood for inspection; hah, like we where ever presentable. Our guide from when we first came to Swiss Colt trots up and informs us official orders came down, that we are to report to Appleoosa and that we where being sent back to canterlot where we where to report for reassignment. The Mountain just grunts 'DISSMISSED' and heads out on his usual rounds. The rest of that day, well, the only other thing that jumps out in my mind is when we are getting ready to board the train home and two smug stallions are getting off that train, twins I think. All that shinny armor and well coifed hair. I remembered our welcome three years prior and I just lost it. Threw my head back and began to cackle like a madmare. Went right on doing it as walked past them and got on the train. My partner, he doesn't make a sound."

"Man, Juicy, Gotta say, Um. That's." Berry began, fumbling for words.

"Yeah, I know its bucked up " Juicy replied with a genuinely warm smile

Berry punch relaxed a little and settled back down into her chair.

"So, other than the uh, inhospitable land, did you ever run into anything dangerous?" Berry asked

"Oh, buck yes. There was a reason that the put a listening post out in that Celestia forsaken land. More than once I was sent to fly back to Appleoosa with some message or other about the movement of diamond dogs or the roosting of wild griffons in the mountains on the edge of the flats. As bad as those can be though, there are worse things lurking in the unexplored parts of our world. Far worse. The worst thing we ever saw out there was the bloody death."

"Bloody Death. Gawd, I need a drink if you are going to talk about something like that."

"Girls!" Juicy Fruit barked

The two fillies came trotting over to where their mothers sat.

"Go tell the Hotel Manger to send up a bottle of wine and then off to bed with you, both of you." Juicy Fruit told them.

"Um, Mrs. Juicy Fruit, I don't live here," Ruby timidly replied.

"Then you are having a sleepover, but not the good kind. The kind where you both go to sleep immediatly because if I find out you stayed up you are both grounded another month. Kool Aid has a sleeping bag and some extra pillows."

"Awwwww." Ruby moaned, looking over at her mother.

"Hey, I'm with Juicy on this one. You wanna end up a lush like me? Drinkn's MY cutie talent, but you two fillies are meant for better things. Now get."

Groaning, the two fillies slunk off to do as they where told. The mares sat in silence for a while, Berry staring off into space, Juicy slowly taking her armor out of the chest and contemplating it.

"Your wine madams," said a smiling mare with a window and curtains on her flank.

"Are the fillies in bed, Window Dressing?" Juicy asked.

"Yes, Ma'am, and not making a peep so far. The Hotel Manager wanted me to tell you he is sorry he hasn't sent anypony for the boxes yet, we had one of the maids get sick and business has picked up today on top of that. He says he will make sure they are cleared out first thing in the morning."

"Ah, I was wondering. Come to mama my sweet, sweet nectar!" chortled Berry Punch.

"Thank you Window Dressing. I won't be up here too much longer."

"Very good madam, good night."

"Good night."

"Shooooow, what about, thish Bloody Death shtuff. Shounds like a bad disease."

"It was a nickname, really, for a type of Dragon that only lived out in that desert. They are also called copper wyrms for their copper scaled coats or desert twisters for the clouds of dust they threw up because they always flew close to the ground. Stories say they eat the salt and quartz, but I bet they would snack on a diamond dog, or even a stray pony for that matter."

"Sho, why do they nicknamesh Bloody Death?" Berry asked before slugging back the rest of her bottle of wine.

"They don't breath fire or ever even acid like normal dragons do. And they are aggresive, way more aggresive, than normal dragons."

"Shpikes kinda a cutie, you know Twi-ligits Shparkles pet? Hesh a dragon."

Juicy shook her head and rolled her eyes at her friend.

"Their breath attack is... is... like a stream of sound, a horrible wail you can hear for miles and miles. It's so powerfull it can crush rocks and bore through the earth. And if a pony gets hit with it," she shuddered, "They burst apart, just a bloody smear on the ground."

"Oooookay, thish, thish is depreshing." Berry said, turning away.

"One attacked our camp you know, I will never forget that, took out our quartermaster before she could move out of the way or even saw it. I... "

Juicy fell silent for several minutes, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"The Mountain, " she whispered, "He charged right in. Right up to it. It let loose that scream against him, hit him dead on and it hardly even slowed him down. I was buzzing around it's head, trying to stay out of the way of the breath, trying to distract it. The stallion, he was leading the rest of Swiss Colts Residents away. And the Mountain, he reared up and.... crushed its head under one of his hooves. Just, one blow, just, done."

"Wow." Berry said softly.

"Berry, I didn't get hit by that sonic beam, but that horrible sound, it, I was bleeding from my eyes and my ears and my nose! I was terrified. I-I thought I was going to die."

Juicy Fruit stopped talking and started to sob, her hooves went out from under her and she tumbled off the chair and onto the floor. Berry Punch got up and lay down next to her, nuzzling her neck and then sliding her head under Juicy Fruits muzzle. Juicy Fruit burried her face into the other mares mane, and sobbed.

It was late afternoon and Ponyville was abuzz with the news of a new pony in town. Mares and stallions stopped and silently gawked as a unicorn guardsmare escorted a huge, elderly stallion down the main throughfare. The stallion had a ragged grey coat and a whispy white mane and tail, on his flank was a cutiemark of a shield with a heart on it, and behind it, a sword and a spear. His back sagged, his lower lip dropped, and his eyes though open, looked milky and unfocused. He had no saddlebags, but carried a small sack in his mouth. Every once in a while, the guardsmare would look nervously up at her charge, as if expecting him to step on her with one of his massive hooves at any moment. The pair stopped in front one of the biggest buildings in Ponnyville, outside of which hung a neatly painted sign that read, "Stumble In Inn". There was a flurry of motion inside the Inn and a smiling mare with a red coat and short unruly yellow mane, and a cutiemark that looked like two square candies, one pink, one purple, trotted out to greet them. She stopped scant inches from the huge stallion, smiling broadly. Whether sensing, hearing or smelling the mare, the stallion turned and lowered his head.

"Commander Mountain," the mare stated, standing at perfect attention.

"Private." he grunted.

"Permission to speak, sir." she stated.

"Speak."

"I beg your pardon Commander Mountain, I've been promoted to Corporal."

The large stallion threw his head back and laughed at this. Juicy Fruit only grinned wider.

"Ah, Mrs. Juicy Fruit." the guard began tentativly.

The Mountain grunted and turned his head towards the sound of the guard who winced as the milky eyes came to bear on her.

"T-That is. C-Can you p-please sign t-this form to indicate, that, uh." the trembling unicorn levitated a clipboard over to Juicy Fruit, or at least tried too. When the stallion curled a lip growled at her she lost whatever shred of nerve remained and bolted back way she had came

"JUSTSENDITBACKMAGICALSCROLLMAIL" she squealed in terror as she galloped away.

The huge stallion turned back to the red mare in front of him and felt around on the ground with his nose for the bag he had dropped earlier while speaking.

"Commander Mountain, I have your bag, let me show you to your new home, " Juicy Fruit said with a smile as she balanced the bag on her back and trotted back towards the door, "My daughter and her friend cleaned it up special for you."

"Thanks." he grunted as he squeezed through the large double doors that had been thrown wide just for him.

Canning Cherries

Canning Cherries
by Lucen Aurora

It was a beautiful midsummer day, the sun was high in the sky, warming the coats and hearts of Ponyvilles myriad denizens. They flitted back and forth on their various errands, some where heading towards the market to pick fresh fruit and vegetables from the long rows of stalls. Some of them where heading to Sugarcube corner, Carousel Boutique or one of the other numerous shops that dotted the town in no particular pattern. Others where simply out for a stroll that perhaps ended in the park or next to the lake outside of town. And at the end of the main thoroughfare, in large building with neatly painted sign that read “Stumble In Inn” outside it, two fillies, a pegasus with red mane and a spotted red and white coat and a unicorn with a blond mane and a light lavender coat where busy at work in the inns kitchen.

Ponies rushed back and forth behind them, some of them bringing in baskets of cherries, others balancing canning jars or crates of liquor stamped by with a picture of grapes and strawberries.
The two fillies were sitting side by side on high stools in front of a sink. The pegasus filly sighed as she gently took a cherry in her hoof, pulled the stem out with her teeth, rinsed it and tossed it carelessly into a colander The unicorn filly had levitated up a large bunch of them and was whimsically pulling out stems one at a time, murmuring 'He loves me, he loves me not', rinsing the batch when she was done and gently putting them in the colander.

“You know, Dinky, I almost get the feeling you are enjoying this,” the pegasus filly grumbled as she looked over at her friend.

“Oh, yes! I've never canned cherries before, this is sooooo exciting!” she murmured happily.

“Ugh, yeah, exciting, we've only done this every years since FOREVER,” the pegasus filly moaned.

The pegasus filly yelped as a yellow maned, red coated mare cuffed her upside the head.

“Behave, Kool Aid, and we haven't been doing this forever, only for the last six years now.” the mare replied

“Mooooom! Why didja hit me!? I didn't so anything,” Kool Aid pouted.

“That was for nothing kiddo. Just think what I will do if you DO something,” the mare replied, swapping the fillies full colander for a empty one.

“I know what you will do if I do something. I got grounded for a month for breaking into the bar. That ended yesterday, so why am I here!?” Kool Aid whined.

“Because hard work builds character, and you, my silly little filly, need all the character you can get.” the mare replied.

“Sometimes when mommy and I are playing, we get into character and act out stuff from plays, Miss Juicy Fruit,” Dinky remarked a she examined a rather unripe looking cherry.

Kool Aid and Juicy Fruit turned for a moment to eye the unicorn filly as she levitated another batch of cherries out of her basket and begin to pluck the stems with her magic, then turned back to each other.

“ANYWAY,” Juicy Fruit said with a slight cough, “We are also a bit shorthanded. We have Captain Mountain hauling around wagons of booze and cherries and he's none too happy about that. YOU, little filly, will do your part around her or you don't get any allowance this week.”

“What if I just skip the allowance this week,” the filly grumbled.

“My mommy says the head postal mare makes allowances for her,” Dinky calmly interjected.

Juicy Fruit looked over at the unicorn and rolled her eyes.

“That's, uh, umm.” Kool Aid began.

“You try to leave, and not only will I drag you back, you won't get allowance for month, now keep working.” Juicy replied with a scowl.

Kool Aid groaned and turned back to shucking the stems from her pile of cherries.

“Where's my muffin?” as cheerful voice called out from outside.

“Mommy!” Dinky squealed and fell off her stool in the rush to get to her mother.

“Muffin!” Derpy squealed as she tripped over a basket of cherries while rushing into the room, landing squarely on her muzzle and skidding a couple of feet.

“Derpy!” Juicy Fruit groaned as she surveyed the mess Derpy had made on the floor.

Derpy sat up, blinking, and looking around at the cherries scattered on the floor as her daughter leaned up against her, nuzzling her chest.

“I just don't know what went wrong...” Derpy muttered as she hung her head.

Juicy Fruit rolled her eyes and shook her head. How Kool Aid has become friends with Dinky was anyponies guess, but as spacey as the filly was, at least she wasn't clumsy.

“What brings you here, Derpy?” asked Juicy Fruit as she led the walleyed pegasus away from the mess so that her staff could clean it up.

“Oh! I brought Muffins!” she replied, perking up and turning to dig around In one her saddlebags. She produced four huge muffins from within.

“Oooh! Muffins!” Dinky exclaimed excitedly

“Yeah! I love your muffins Missus D!” Kool Aid said, hopping down from her stool and rapidly flapping her winds to cushion the fall.

“I know! That's why I made four, one for me, one for Dinky, one for you and one for Mrs. Juicy Fruit!” Derpy said proudly.

“Beats cherries for sure! If I see another cherry after today, I'm gonna barf.” Kool Aid replied, eagerly taking the offered muffin.

“Yum! Blueberry!” Dinky cried.

“Oooh, Banana,” Kool Aid complimented.

“Umm, is this Bran?” Juicy Fruit asked.

“Yup! I remember you said you can't taste or smell all that well, and I only had enough fruit to make two big muffins, so I made you a Bran one,” Derpy replied

“What kind is yours?” Juicy Fruit asked as she looked over at Derpy

“Oh, I filled mine with Bilberry Jam!” Derpy replied happily as she took a big bite out of it.

“Uh, yeah. Sure, anyway Derpy, try to be a bit more careful, cherries ain't cheap.”

“Mommy says ain't isn't a word.” corrected Dinky around a mouthful of muffin.

Derpy quickly swallowed the rest of her muffin, “That's right, and don't talk with your mouth full, Muffin.”

Dinky swallowed her bite of muffin, “Sorry mommy.”

“That's okay; do you need any help?” Derpy asked, turning to Juicy Fruit

“Er, don't you have, mail or something to deliver?” Juicy Fruit asked nervously.

“Oh, no, it's alternate Tuesdays, I don't deliver mail on alternate Tuesdays.” Derpy replied as her wandering eye roved the room.

“What about Ferdinand Fridays?” Dinky asked as she climbed up onto her stool.

“Those only happen every three and one quarter years when the moon is covered by clouds,” Derpy replied.

“Oh,” Dinky murmured as she went back to her game of plucking cherries to “He loves me, he loves me not!”

“Ferdinand Fridays?” Kool Aid whispered a she leaned towards her mother.

Juicy Fruit met her daughters gaze and shrugged.

“Ooooooh, shucking cherries, can I help?” Derpy asked has she got her front hooves up onto the counter and took a good long whiff Kool Aids collinder.

“Well, er, how about your sit out of the way, over here with me and supervise?” Juicy suggested as she gestured to a nearby table with papers scattered about it.

“Supervise?” Derpy replied, furrowing her brow.

“Yeah, you make sure the ponies working under you are doing what they should be doing.” Juicy replied.

“Oh, I know what it means...” Derpy replied, scanning the room, “But it looks like everypony already is doing what they should be.”

“Well, then how about some, uh, Juice! Yes, Juice, what kind of Juice do you like, Derpy?” Juicy asked.

“I'm sorry. You want me to go away. I will.” Derpy moped, hanging her head, tucking her tail and slowly walking for the door.

“No! Not at all, ah, It's just.” a thought came to Juicy, “It's like you said, everypony else is already doing something, I just wanted some company! Yeah!”

“Really?” Derpy asked, her ears perking up as she turned to look at the other mare.

“Really. Come on, sit down.” Juicy Fruit replied as she fought to maintain her strained grin.

“Okay then!” Derpy replied as she whirled around and bounded over to the table, “And I like all kinds of Juice. Just, whatever.”

Juicy Fruit smiled at the other mare and weaved her way through the kitchen staff over to one of the huge fridges and pulled out a jug of carrot juice for Derpy. For herself she had a piping hot jug of her favorite coffee from a percolator conspicuously kept apart from the row of other percolators. Grabbing a mug and a glass from nearby racks, Juicy brought the drinks back to the table, then poured and offered a tall glass of Juicy to Derpy, whom promptly slugged the whole thing back in three huge gulps, put the glass down with a daintiness that belied her wandering eye, and then ruined the whole effect by letting out a loud belch.

“Excuse you!” Dinky called

“Excuse me!” Derpy replied

Juicy sipped her coffee, looking uncomfortably over the cup at the blond maned pegasus. She just never knew what to say to Derpy; the eyes always threw her.

“I bought some cherries canned in Brandy from Richs Barnyard Bargains once, They where really, really, tasty. But I woke up the next morning in bed with Twilight Sparkle and we both had a huuuuuuge hangover.” Derpy said, somehow training both of her eyes on Juicy.

“What? Wow. I bet that's a good story.” Juicy Fruit replied, somewhat surprised to hear the normally shy mail-mare volunteer such information.

“Yeah, I couldn't remember anything. Neither could Twilight. Did you know Twilight always sleeps with silk stockings on? I didn't know that.” Derpy gossiped.

“Okay, now you're just making stuff up,” Juicy grunted as she reached over with a wing to get another cup of coffee, “That nerd? In stockings? Yeesh, if she wasn't Princess Celestias little brown nose, she probably would have had her tail stuffed in her nose years ago.”

“It's true, I swear! She even has a whole drawer full of them. I saw them. Uh, even though... Ooooops. I wasn't supposed to tell anypony about the stockings.” Derpy muttered, huddling down into her seat.

“Oh, don't worry about it,” Juicy replied as she sat down with a pitcher this time to go along with her cup. “Ever have coffee Derpy?”

“Oh, I like Starschmucks coffee. I used to drink It every morning when I lived in Cloudsdale.”

“Ugh. Yuppie, frou, frou, crap.” Juicy Replied, “Wait, you lived in Cloudsdale? I thought you where from Ponyville?”

“Oh, I am, I just went there to train to be a Mailmare!” Derpy replied proudly.

“Huh? The more you know, right?” Juicy replied.

“Sure?” Derpy replied, confused by the turn of phrase.

A low growl and a squeal of surprise had both of the mares twisting their heads around towards the exit. The massive head and neck of The Mountain was thrust through the door of the kitchen, his lips curled in a snarl. Kool Aid was cowering on the floor in front of him; the rest of the employees in the kitchen had stopped what they where doing and where huddled together against the wall furthest from the door.

Juicy Fruit rolled her eyes, got down off her chair and calmly walked over to where he trembling daughter hid her face in her hooves.

“Thank you Captain Mountain, I will take it from here.” Juicy said, glowering down at her daughter.

The old stallion grunted and pulled his head out of the doorway, a collective breath was let out by the kitchen staff who went back to work.

“What did I tell you about trying to sneak off?!” Juicy yelled.

“I, I wasn't.” Kool Aid stammered.

Juicy hauled the filly to her hooves by gripping the fillies mane in her teeth and then gently boxed Kool Aids ears with her wings.

“Get back to shucking, young filly, and be glad The Mountain caught you and not me or you really would have been out your allowance.” Juicy growled as Kool Aid slunk back off to her stool.

Shaking her head, the mare walked back to the table where Derpy had been quietly watching the scene.
“That filly is going to be the DEATH of me one of these days.”

“You shouldn't yell, or hit.” Derpy quietly stated as Juicy climbed back onto her chair.

Juicy sighed, and looked over at her companion. Derpy was contemplating her empty glass with one good eye, while the other was watching the two fillies shuck cherries.

“Look,” Juicy began, “I appreciate the advice, but my daughter ain't your daughter, Derpy.”

“I know,” Derpy quietly replied.

“She misbehaves all the time, just the other day she bit that old biddy, Sour Cheese. I mean, just up and bit her ankles.” Juicy griped.

“She told me she always likes coming to my house,” Derpy replied.

“Yeah?” Juicy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because I tell her she's a good filly. She says you never tell her that.” Derpy replied.

Juicy stopped mid sip, and set her coffee down. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

“You know,” Juicy said at length, “When I was her age? I was just like that. Wild, didn't care about any other Pony. Got into tons of trouble, and my parents? They just laughed it off, said I was just, a filly being a filly. I thought nopony mattered but me, and first chance I got, I joined the Solar Guard. That's what it took to straighten me out, Derpy.”

Juicy sighed and leaned forward, resting her head on the table.

“I don't want Kool Aid to grow up like that. I don't want her to be a spoiled little brat that has everything given to her like I did. I had to loose EVERYTHING, even her father to finally learn that other ponies mattered. I know I'm hard on my daughter, but I do love her.”

Neither mare said anything for several minutes, Derpy looking down at her glass, Juicy laying with her head on the table, eyes closed.'

“I love you too, Mom.” Kool Aid whispered in and kissed her mothers ear.

Juicy fruit opened her eyes just fast enough to see a blur of red and white dots bound off the table and hear little hooves hit the floor. Juicy looked up and saw her daughter scramble up onto her stool and start to shuck cherries with gusto.

“See?” Derpy said, looking at the other mare a cracking a little smile, “You just have to say that more often.”

Juicy snorted, “I'm just not that nice.”

“You gave me juice.” Derpy stated.

“I SELL juice every day at twice the price we buy it from Richs Barnyard Bargains” Juicy replied.

“But you GAVE me juice at one hundred percent less that what your paid. And you are trying very hard make me comfortable and not to just send me away just like most ponies do, even though I make you uncomfortable.” Derpy replied.

Juicy gawked at the other mare.

“Dinky doesn't have a lot of friends, so I'm glad Kool Aid is her friend. And I know about the trouble Kool Aid gets in. Miss Sour Cheese is on my mail route and she told me my Dinky would be going to Pony Hell if she kept playing with Kool Aid.” Derpy said.

“There is a big surprise,” growled Juicy.

“I told her, Kool Aid is a good filly. She just doesn't always know it.” Derpy went on, “And Juicy Fruit is a good mare too, even is she's grouchy sometimes.”

“Derpy, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.” Juicy sighed.

“But you've don't a lot of good things too. You kept your parents inn going. You buy all these cherries from Cherries Jubilee every year.”

“And Can them in liquor and resell them for twelves times what I paid for them.” Juicy countered

“And buy all that liquor from Berry Punch even though everypony says she's a drunk, and an unfit mother behind her back.” Derpy went on.

“Berry IS a drunk, it's her Cuitemark talent.” Juicy replied in an exasperated tone.

“Your cutiemark is a candy, isn't it?” Derpy asked.

“Yeah, so?” Juicy replied.

“Two candies, Juicy Fruit, the same as your name. One sour and one tart but both fundamentally sweet.” the other mare concluded.

Juicy threw up her hooves in exasperation, “I just can't win with you, can I Derpy?”

Derpy nuzzled the side of Juicies neck, causing her to pull back in surprise.

“When did you...!?” Juicy gasped.

“Your a good pony. I'm glad your my friend.” Derpy replied with a smile.

“A good pony, huh?” Juicy replied, settling back down on her haunches

Derpy nodded and smiled. There was a splash and a squeal, the two mares looked back over at their daughters whom where laughing and splashing each other in the rinse sink.

Juicy fruit sighed, and turned back to her coffee.