Boolean gripped the shovel tightly in her magic, digging her sensitive aura into the rough wood. She mindlessly moved dirt into the hole she had just recently dug, pulling herself into a hypnotic rhythm. Slowly she sunk into the rhythm of filling the hole; the near quiet as the the shovel moved through the air, the eventual thud of the dirt falling inside of the hole, followed by the crunch as she picked up more dirt to move through the air and thud inside the hole. The simple act of filling the hole becoming her best refuge to avoid both her own thoughts and the tears streaming down her face.
Boolean was born in a small zebra village, mothered by the daughter of the Chief, named Zalrius. Boo’s father, a unicorn by the name of Gunshot, had claimed Zalruis as his bride after brutally murdering the Chief and his guards with the help of her older brother Buckshot.
Gunshot was born in a stable, he never told her, but she had reason to believe it was one of the lower number stables down south. From what Boolean gleaned, her father escaped the stable by waking up the Overmare with a gun to her head. Gunshot only got more unpredictable and violent after leaving the stable. She’s unsure where exactly Buckshot came from, but she knew that he was not Gunshot’s biological son and that his original name was not Buckshot.
Boolean had had a relatively tough childhood growing up, even by waste standards. At around the age of five or six, she was torn from her mother’s family when Gunshot ended up repeatedly shooting her mother and killing the rest of the village. After that she ended up wandering with her father and adopted brother, going from town to town. She was almost entirely reliant on her father for support, even with her extreme fear of him.
Boolean nearly slipped as her shovel struck hard dry sand as she ran out of soil to continue filling the hole. She stared at the grave for a moment, debating the idea of leaving a grave marking of some kind, eventually settling for a large rock carved with both of their names. Even as she laid back and stared at the bright pinpricks of light filling the dark canvas sky she couldn't help remembering them and the last month. She knew what she had to do next.
Boolean always assumed her father would never die. He gave off an almost air of immortality; that’s part of the reason it took her a while to register when his own Balefire Egg detonated hooves away from him. Boolean was surprised by the blast and quickly rushed to the battlefield.
Her father’s corpse… wasn’t pretty; she nearly vomited as she tried to avoid the twisted pile of half melted boiling flesh and crisp burnt skin. She slowly drunk in the battle scene, ponies lay around, both Balefire vaporized and shot. Quickly her ears perked up at the sound of a rapid clicking and she realized that her brother was lying nearby, her father’s pipbuck rapidly clicking in his half burned bag.
She dragged him far enough away from the carnage that the Pipbuck’s clicking slowed to a trickle, she tried to take him farther from the battle still but the clicking remained nearly consistent after a certain distance. She gulped before diving into the bag and removing the battered gray folded tablet. The moment she dragged it away from him, its clicking entirely stopped. She realized what she had to do as she cut the taint-warped clothing from his body with a rough knife they kept in the poorly restored RV they had used to travel the country. The clicking continued yet through, even as she poured water from a nearby stream over the large burns that covered his body.
It had taken several days for him to blearily return to consciousness, slowly mumbling her name over and over. She had quickly rushed to his side, and gently brushed him with her hooves. He slowly cracked open his eyes, and for the first time she sees the grayish blue that entirely filled them, “Boo?” he asked, unable to see her.
“I-I’m here Buckey.” She responded, voice breaking as she gently hugged him.
“Dad, did he…?” Bucky asked, less concerned about his own physical ailments then his father.
“No… he was- in the blast.” Boo responded, squeezing him tighter, almost painfully.
“Oh.” Bucky stumbled out the word, almost in shock as the reality of the situation hit him.
“Are you okay?” She slowly asked her brother, pain filling her voice.
“I don’t believe I am…” he responded slowly, before violently coughing, blood covering his hoof in speckles.
Boo shuddered as he returned the hug, smearing blood and a sickish gray mucus onto her coat, but she did not move away as she asked another question, “Can-can you see?”
“No…” He responded, gently moving to weakly nuzzle her neck.
It took three days for his fur to begin to fall out as the coughing got even worse. It took several weeks for her to realize that she was losing him as well.
“Bucky?” She slowly asked her brother, lying on the floor next to the couch that he hadn’t moved from in a painfully long time.
“Yes, sis?” He responded weakly, voice crackling as the skin inside his throat began to dry and peel from the radiation.
“The Rad away… it isn’t working.” She responded, slowly disconnecting the IV she had been lucky enough the scavenge from her Father’s supplies.
They both sat silent for a moment before he responded, “It- it’s fine.”
“I’m going to miss you… a lot.” She replied, moving up and leaning against his balding side.
“Why?” He asked, chuckling, “Me and Gunshot were probably the worst family a growing filly could ask for.”
“Because… I- I’ve never really known anything else… and even at your worst you both still loved me.” She responded, tears beginning to stain the remains of her brother’s coat as she kept her face nuzzled into it.
“Sis… I never… really hated you because of your mother. I… just kinda resented you for actually being related to dad.” Her brother weakly apologized while blindly staring up at the ceiling, trying to blink away tears.
“I know.” She responded blankly, lying to make her brother feel better.
“I’m sorry… for when you were twelve and I was- and we.” He croaked out, trying to apologize for the one thing he never forgave himself for.
“It’s fine.” She replied tearfully, still lying as she grit her teeth painfully.
“It’s not fine.” He countered sharply, still angry at himself.
“Now’s not the time to… to talk about this.” She replied, trying to change the subject.
“When bucking is the time?” He asked loudly, nearly shouting in his damaged voice.
“It’s fin-” She tried to respond once more before being cut off by her brother.
“I bucking-.” Bucky tried to counter, before being cut off by an abnormally violent response from his sister.
“I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.” Boolean nearly shouted in response, her voice raised to a nearly unheard of pitch for her. The result was an immediate, thick silence that decended on the room.
“Are we not going to talk about it?” Bucky replied.
“No.” Boolean replied, and that was that.
It took another week for her brother to reach the tipping point, beyond all hope of recovery.
“Please don’t go Bucky.” Boolean asked weakly, tearing up as she sat across from him.
“I’d stay if I could.” Buckshot responded, a chuckling filling his painfully cracking and deep voice.
“I’m… going to miss you.” Boo replied, weakly staring down at her hooves.
“Don’t- I don’t really deserve you feeling sorry for me, and I especially don’t deserve to be missed,” he responded, the laughter drying out from his voice.
“Bucky- don’t say that.” Boolean responded, slowly standing up and trotting over to him.
“I’m the last bit of your fucked up father that’s left… you may be directly related to him, but I’m his pet project. With me dies the last of our old dad.”
“I don’t want you to die though, you’re all I have left.” She began tearing up heavily as she hugged his nearly limp form.
“After I’m gone you should take dad’s Pipbuck.”
“He gave it to you.” She replied, a small pang of old resentment from her father’s favoring of him in her voice.
“And fat lot of good it’s going to do me. Take it, take the RV and get out of here,” he replied, speaking to her on multiple levels.
“I don’t… know. I don’t want to know. I just want to sit here with you forever until the world ends again.” She replied, nuzzling his side.
He fell asleep after that. He never woke up again. It took her several days to finally bury the body. Soon after she took her Father’s pipbuck, and his old autoloading 10mm that barely survived inside her brother’s bag. A gun he never used, but held close due to a nagging sentiment, an obligation to his adoptive father’s past.
Boolean stared longingly at the burning RV as she slowly sliced off the length of her ponytail with a large blade of shrapnel, it held tight in her magic as she kept the ponytail taught with her hooves. She cut it in honor of the way her brother said that he liked her when she kept her hair short, and free of the pain of what her brother liking her would mean for her. It didn't take her long to throw the gasoline can into the fire and finish off her numbing mix of Rum and Sparkle as she slowly began wandering out into the wastes, picking a random direction and walking in it.
Author's Note
Corrections and suggestions are appreciated.
It's an old story, but it's still hard to correct your own work, and I'll take any advice to heart.
Edit 1: Made the dialogue a bit more subtle.
For a history of changes, and to make live suggestions, check here.
