My Little Pony: Ragnarok is Magic.

My Little Pony: Ragnarök is Magic Chapter 1

Sograt you could make it.

A lone figure moved along the arid sands of the Sograt Desert as the harsh sun beat down upon it. "Just hang on a little longer, dear. I'm certain I saw lights heading in this direction last night."

The ragged unicorn looked back to her passenger, who simply laid there motionless as she let out a weak whimper "Nngh..."

"Oh, dear. I better pick up the pace..."

Just simple travel in the awful conditions of the desert was enough to drain most of their energy. Doing so while being badly battered and carrying double her weight, it was a small wonder that Rarity hadn't simply dropped dead hours ago. She steeled herself as she climbed up another dune.

"I didn't even know Equestria had deserts with this much sand in them..."

Once she made it to the top, a small smile formed on her face. Off on the distance, she could see what looked like a long wall, on the other side of which she could see small buildings and smoke rising from somewhere within. It had to be some sort of settlement! "We made it, darling!"

She quickly made her way down. It would take at least another hour to get there, but maybe the ponies there would be able to help her friend!

--

Being a guard in the town of Morroc had never been easy. For one part, there was the heat. The insufferable, scorching, don’t-step-out-of-the-shadows-or-risk-roasting-alive heat. Maybe the heat was the worst part of the job, or maybe it just made every other single thing worse.

The Thieves' Guild being holed up at pretty much spitting distance from the town wasn't exactly a good influence, either. Sure, there were a few thieves who knew how to behave with everyone's best interests in mind: they understood the delicate art of bribes and favors, and everyone could get along just dandy. Some thieves, however... they took to making trouble for the Guard as some sort of sport; they didn't even care about the value of what was stolen, so long as they got a thrill out of it...

I kind of miss those days, now that I think about it. Now, there isn't even anything left to protect or to steal, unless you're big on rubble and broken hopes and dreams. Said thought dejectedly.

The awakening of Satan Morroc had scared most people away... and killed the rest. The only ones who stayed were those too poor to leave, or too afraid to brave the desert. The current Guard of Morroc consisted of a handful of broken soldiers, so they had to turn to the Continental Guard for help, which ended with the original Morroc Guard being stationed at the entrances of the town, serving pretty much as guides instead of guards.

"Not like there's much left to guard." Said sighed without realizing.

"Some people survived, and we can always rebuild." the stern voice startled him, and Said turned to look at his captain giving him a disapproving look.

"Sorry, Sir."

The older man let out a sigh, "Just stay alert, boy. The Continental Guard Chief said that the battle with Morroc should already be over, but they haven't received any word yet. We might have to welcome some heroes back from the battle soon!"

Said looked down, "I don't know, Sir... I mean, we both saw what that monster could do... I'm not entirely sure if... if they could... you know..." A vision of dozens of arrows raining upon a brown mountain of a monster flashed on his mind, and how it remained unfazed as it looked at what was left of the town...

"The Continental Guard managed to recruit the help of some of Rune-Midgard's finest heroes, if anyone could beat that abomination, it would've been them. Besides, if they'd failed, we'd already have received word from Prontera."

"I guess..."

"Just watch out for trouble, Said." he said as he walked away.

I didn't even think he would be able to stand after that monster's attack, but I guess the captain can't rest while that monster's still on the loose. I know I still can't sleep that well at night.

Which was beginning to worry Said, as he saw a strange creature passing through the gate he was supposed to be watching over.

"H-h-halt!" Oh yes, I'm sure that'll make that creature think twice about standing against the mighty Morroc Guard.

He rubbed his eyes and did a double take on the creature. Creatures, actually. They looked... like Odin's horse of legend, only these ones had only four legs. Said had once heard of spectral horses with four legs... some adventurer called them... Nightmares.

Now, Said was by no means a coward, but when a couple of strange horse creatures walk into your recently destroyed town, with no news about the fate of the worst monster to have ever attacked Rune-Midgard (a monster, I might add, capable of summoning corporeal horrors strong enough to kill most of the Morroc Guard), and said creatures have a relatable appearance to something called "Nightmare"... well, let's just say that Said would rather people call him a coward than a dead man.

--

Rarity was shocked. Had that... thing talked to her? And now it looked like it was about to run away. "Wait! Please!"

The strange creature nearly jumped 10 feet in the air and fell on its knees, then it turned around slowly to look at them. "P-please?" It whispered.

Apparently, this strange creature considered a scruffy and badly damaged Unicorn to be the worst terror imaginable. Well, scruffiness is rather shocking. She had to watch her words and thread carefully, "W-well, hello, gentle-uh-fellow. I am Rarity, a unicorn from Ponyville, and I am in need of assistance."

Said looked at her like she'd eat him at any second, but still managed to ask, "A Unicorn? A talking unicorn? ...Ponyville? ...I really need to get some sleeping pills..."

"Please, sir, my friend needs help! She has a strange wound, and she hasn't been able to move at all since yesterday!" Rarity slowly lowered her passenger to the ground, carefully avoiding any moves that could worsen the unmoving pony's large gash that ran from her shoulder to her flank.

Said slowly stood up and walked over to the horse lying on the ground... a horse with wings... "A... pegasus? A pegasus and a unicorn?" The wound on the pegasus made him gasp. It wasn't big like a sword slash or anything of the sort, it was almost like a claw mark, and it radiated a sick glowing purple from the sides, a purple that was spreading around the pegasus' fur at a slow rate. "What... what made this wound? When did this happen!?"

Rarity was startled by the sudden outburst, "I-I don't know what made it, but she was like this when I woke up next to her yesterday! Only not as... purple..." Tears started forming on the corners of her eyes, "Please, you have to help us! Help her!"

Said stood up. "I'm not sure I can help you... but I think there is someone who could. I-I have to go get my captain, you wait here!" he yelled as he ran towards the big crater on the center of the town.

"Thank you..." Rarity managed to whisper, before fatigue took its toll and she blacked out.

As she slowly came to her senses she could hear a voice in the background, "Look, they obviously fought with one of Morroc's Incarnations, and if it could poison the pegasus like that, it must've been one of the stronger ones. I just think we might be able to get some information. Besides, they didn't look that dangerous."

Rarity got up, and looked around at what she supposed was the inside of a tarp. She saw some water in a jar next to her, and levitated it towards her. She took a quick look around, and was glad to find she was alone as she emptied the jar in big gulps. The desert is just no place for a proper Lady. She sighed.

Then it hit her: she was alone. She stood up with a jump, and ran outside the tarp, only to come to a screeching halt to avoid trampling a serious looking creature like the one she found at the entrance, only this one looked older, and was clad in heavy-looking armor, far heavier than anything she had ever seen a guard at the Royal Castle back in Canterlot use.

She took a tentative step forward. "Um, excuse me? I'm looking for my friend..." she asked with as much politeness as she could muster in such a situation.

"See? I don't think they mean any harm." Rarity looked back to see the creature that she first met when entering the town.

"We most certainly do not. Though I do have some very urgent questions, if you would hear me..." Rarity said, bringing out those diplomatic skills she'd developed to mesh seamlessly into the higher circles of Canterlot society.

"We have some questions ourselves, as a matter of fact." said the older, bigger creature. "Your friend is being taken care of as we speak, so if you could answer us, we may be able to answer your own questions."

That one looks like the leader of the bunch, Rarity thought. Time to bring out that pony charm. "Ahem," Rarity cleared her throat as she bowed, "I am most thankful for your help in our time of need, and I will answer any question you may have to the best of my abilities." Rarity looked up with that little smile she saved for buttering people up, "But if you would allow me to ask something first," She paused, "um... not to sound rude, but just... what are you? You are obviously not ponies and I do not believe I have ever encountered fellows such as yourselves ever before in Equestria."

"Equestria?"

Oh, dear. Rarity gulped.

"As for what we are, we are humans. You may call me Chief Balrog. I am the chief of the Continental Guard in charge of the defense of this city." said the older and bigger human.

"You have my gratitude, good human, now ask away, if you please." Rarity sat down on the floor, immediately standing back up after touching the roasting floor. Dumb Sun...

"Let's head back inside, shall we?" suggested Chief Balrog as he headed inside. "And get someone to bring some more water." he yelled from within the tent.

Rarity blushed a little as she followed, "Thank you" she muttered at Balrog as she sat across from him.

"Very well," Chief Balrog began, "First question: What are you?"

Straight to the point, I see "As I had said earlier, I am Rarity from Ponyville. I am a unicorn pony, from the land of Equestria." Rarity's educated gestures were somewhat diminished by the poor state of her fur and mane- she was downright shaggy- not counting the dried blood of her friend covering a large part of her coat.

Chief Balrog stroke his chin as he took the answer in. "I don't suppose I could get an answer to "What is Equestria" that wouldn't basically be "Where I'm from", so..." He paused and looked at Rarity, who cocked her head slightly to the side, "My next question would be: How did you and your friend end up in such a state?"

Rarity winced, "I... I am not sure." She got up and began to pace around the room, "I remember being summoned to the Royal Castle to see Princess Celestia some days ago, along the rest of my friends-" She looked back suddenly, "-nothing scandalous, I assure you." She mover back to her seat, "The princess was worried; she told us to... to be prepared in case an emergency happened. She feared that Equestria would be attacked soon, by something "more dangerous than anything we had ever faced before"... most of what happened after that is a blur. I remember staying with my friends at the castle. Some were a little annoyed at having to stay away from home, but I was happy to be in Canterlot again. So much to do!" she gushed. "Anyhow, everything was pretty much uneventful after that."

"And then, one day Princess Luna came running to us and yelled "Get ready, Ele-ahem-everypony!" After that... I just remember a blinding flash, and then we were standing somewhere else... probably a teleportation spell on part of the Princess. I think there was fighting, but I can't remember well... I probably fainted" She blushed a little, "it happens sometimes when I'm greatly shocked..."

At this point, Said entered the tarp with two more jars full of water. Balrog looked to him and motioned towards Rarity with his head, "Guard, tell this unicorn what you told me about the pegasus' injury."

Said let out a big sigh as he stood next to the entrance. "It looks exactly like the injuries on many soldiers who fought against one of Satan Morroc's Incarnations. The only reason I think the pegasus has survived so far is because the wound is very shallow, which is why the poison's spread so slowly." He looked at Rarity with a half smile, "Either your friend is very lucky, or she is very good at dodging."

Rarity stood in shock as memories flashed inside her head. "Morroc..." was the only sound that left her mouth as her eyes started welling up with tears.

-- Rarity’s Memoirs.

I looked around me as colors and shapes slowly made their way back into my world. Teleportation is nice and all, but if it catches you unaware, it can really give you a headache. I pondered on the proper way one would reprimand a thousand years-old princess as a scream tore through the air.

"SISTER!"

It was Princess Luna! I turned over to see Twilight and the Princess of the night kneeling next to the battered Princess of the day.

I was about to run over, myself, when I noticed the background started to move. It was hard to describe what was standing there; a strange, huge creature with enormous arms and... reptilian eyes that reminded me of Nightmare Moon's, on its shoulders, all of them blinking and seizing up the different ponies in front of it. Just looking at the thing made my stomach lurch, though I wasn't sure if it was from how disgusting it looked or how... ominous it was. The thick, dark scales all around its body reminded me of an adult dragon, but an adult dragon would look positively adorable next to that abhorrent thing!

Then the monster spoke with a voice I never thought anything living should be able to make… it was as if it spoke directly into one’s mind, with a horrible booming echo:

"Pathetic horse! You can't stop me! Nothing can. The only thing they could do was trap me like cowards, and cry and pray that the trap would last forever! They will all pay after I get my strength back... their puny midgardians only delayed the inevitable. I will destroy everything like I destroyed their weak army and nothing will stop the Morroc!"

"We aren't horses, you big, ugly dragon… thing! And nopony insults the princess when I'm around!" I heard Rainbow Dash shouting as she zoomed into the creature, enveloping it in her signature rainbow tornado.

All I could do was stand there as I saw Rainbow’s reckless attack. Then the monster lifted one of its huge arms and swatted Rainbow off the air, and I screamed as Rainbow flew through the air a small distance before smashing into the ground.

I ran as fast as I could to help her. I called her name and I saw here rising up slowly.

Dash said she was okay, though her voice was woozy, and I noticed she didn’t go back to the air. She always hovers above or around us whenever she can, so I discretely checked her wings, and noticed the shoulder joint on her left wing was swollen, though I decided I should just keep an eye on her. Rainbow Dash can be really stubborn when confronted about her injuries.

I turned around when I heard Princess Celestia's voice and saw her trying to get up, while Princess Luna urged her to rest down. I had never seen anypony in such a bad state before: her poor wings looked like she had been through a tempest! Many feathers were torn while some bones looked at least fractured, and her coat was marred with a mix between dirt and blood... if that monster could do this to an alicorn... I turned to see Rainbow Dash again, who was also staring at Celestia with her mouth agape. I thanked the stars for her luck, I don’t think I could manage to see Rainbow in such a state…

"Girls!" I turned to look at Twilight, she had tears running down her face as she told us: "Let's show this monster what happens when it picks a fight with Equestria!" More like "messes with my teacher", though honestly, I'd stand beside her either way. I was angry enough at the monster already for hurting my friends.

Everything went white as the Elements were activated. I remember the rainbow from the Elements hitting the monster and how it let out a deafening roar... but something was different. The last times we had used the Elements, I remember feeling the hatred and... evil being torn apart to make way for something else... something pure. This time, there was nothing. Only more hatred and more darkness... I watched as the monster was being... destroyed; disintegrated. It already had lost one of its huge arms... and the next thing I felt was cold. A freezing cold taking my breath away and I think I faintly heard my friends calling my name as I lost consciousness.

--

"The next thing I remember is waking up in that awful desert with my friend lying next to me..." said Rarity as tears ran down her face. "You said my friend was poisoned! Was it that thing that hurt her? Is she okay!?" Rarity tried to shake the answers out of the human that had saved her, but she could barely move with how much she was trembling.

"I... I'm not sure if she's okay, but it wasn't Satan Morroc that did that to her. Not directly, anyway." Said tried to stay calm as he broke away from Rarity, "It was one of its... incarnations. A monster that it summons to attack others for him. We fought some of them some nights ago, when Satan Morroc escaped from its prison. Not many survived..."

"It was probably another one of them that knocked you out." Chief Balrog finally said, he had been so quiet Rarity had forgotten that he was even there. "So... if this unicorn tells the truth... our forces failed to destroy the monster."

Chief Balrog stood from his seat, and began pacing around the room while he muttered to himself, "We need to send someone to scout the desert... need someone to bring word to Prontera and Lighthalzen..."

"Take her to her friend and keep an eye on them, guard. That will be all for now, but I still have questions for later." Balrog said as he quickly made his way out of the tent. They could still hear his stern voice giving orders from a distance, but couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Um, let's go." Said tried nudging Rarity to move along after a few minutes, he felt somewhat uneasy about touching the unicorn.

"It's okay, darling... I will... I'll follow you." Rarity wiped out her tears with one hoof as she stood up.

The two walked in silence through the ruins in the middle of town. Said looked back at the unicorn following a few paces behind: she was looking at the rubble, dread filling her face.

"This used to be the Grand Castle of Morroc..." Said said in a low voice, "The legends always told of how Morroc, the town, was named after the demon sealed within the castle. Most of us thought they were just silly stories to keep troublemakers out of the place." He sighed, "And now... it's all just memories. There's barely even enough of this place to be called a town..."

"I'm sorry." Was all Rarity muttered as she looked down and continued to follow Said through the ruins.

The sun had moved a little further down the horizon and it wasn't constantly above them anymore. Small blessings. She sighed.

They were approaching another gate, only this one was much bigger than the one Rarity came in from, and looking at it closer, it was more like they decided to leave that space open when they built the walls that surrounded the city. Where the walls ended, a valley surrounded by small mountains and hills began, with strange triangular buildings way off in the distance. Pyramids, perhaps?

"Here we are." He signaled to a small house right next to the gates, "One of the Chief's priests is looking after your friend in there."

Said moved to the door which was left open, and simply walked inside. Rarity noticed the house was in poor condition as she walked in, but at least it was still standing.

"I'm back, Sister Lucia." Rarity heard Said's voice coming from the next room and quickly made her way there.

"Welcome back, Said. Oh... is that...?" said a softer, more caring voice from within the room.

Rarity walked in to see a different human, this one with a much lovelier, flowing brown mane. Her face seemed much fairer to Rarity, who was beginning to fear humans were all rugged creatures.

Then again, I've only met soldiers, I suppose.

"This is Rarity" he began, "The one I was--" he was abruptly cut off as Lucia ran next to Rarity, bumping him out of the way.

"Good Freyja! Just look at this poor soul!" Lucia knelt next to Rarity and patted her mane.

Rarity took a step back, abashed, "Oh, aheh, thank you, but I'm more worried about my friend, really... at least I can move around." Why do I get this feeling of Déjà vu?

"Oh… your friend..." a frown formed on the woman's face.

This caused the unicorn to perk up, "Is she going to be okay? I was told she was actually poisoned..."

Lucia and Said looked at each other, and then back at Rarity. "I'm sorry... the only thing I could do was heal her wounds and clean her up a bit."

Rarity looked at the sleeping pegasus. "There... there isn't even a scar left on her! Why, I had heard of magical healing back in Equestria, but this is incredible! What do you mean you "only healed her wounds?" You saved her! Thank you so much, darling!" Rarity was doing her best impression of Pinkie Pie as she jumped in place from happiness… until she looked up at the pair of humans avoiding her eyes.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

They said nothing as the healer pointed at the lying pegasus again. Rarity wondered what could be wrong as she watched... then she noticed the purple glow hadn't left her friend's body yet. "Why is she still glowing purple? It's even brighter than before now..."

Lucia stood next to the pegasus and placed her hands above the unconscious mare, and began muttering something that Rarity couldn't make out, and a green glow shone down from her hands and into the prone pegasus' body. "I wasn't able to cure the poison... I tried all the herbs and medicines we had, but neither medicine or my magic could make the poison leave her body... all I can do is slow its effects to buy us time..."

"Buy us time? So there is a way to cure her!?" Rarity was getting anxious again. I didn't almost die from exhaustion in a tacky desert just to let her die like that!

"The Assassins' Guild." Rarity turned to look at Said, who had a somber look on his face.

"A-Assassins!?" Such things were unheard of in modern Equestria. Sure, there were novels and fiction where the assassins of back when everyone hated each other were featured, but actual living killers?

"Well... they're not so bad. Some of them, anyway." Lucia was looking down as she fiddled her fingers, "Many assassins actually helped the town after Satan Morroc attacked. And even some of the higher ranking Assassin Cross went after the beast with the rest of the allied forces."

"And these... characters... they could help my friend?" Looking at her convalescent friend, Rarity wondered if she wouldn't strike up a deal with Discord at this point.

"Assassins are masters of poison. Some say even the Alchemists from Aldebaran are jealous of their talents..." Said sat down and sighed. "It was the assassins that helped save many of our wounded from the attack of Satan Morroc's Incarnations. Imagine that... assassins saving lives instead of taking them..."

"Don't listen to him; there's just bad blood between assassins and guards in Morroc because many people look to the assassins as heroes. Even if they are more... vigilante about helping others than guards are." Lucia pinched Said on the cheek, "Besides, you would think you'd be more grateful!"

"Whatever." Said blushed as he shrugged off Lucia's pinch.

"And... how could I contact these assassins for help? Are they here in the city?" Rarity was finally getting somewhere. She wouldn't fail her friends after all!

"Well..." Lucia looked down again, "It's not that easy... I hear they have a fortress in the desert, but they keep the location secret, and nobody has heard from the assassins since Satan Morroc's attack. Besides..." She looked at the unconscious pegasus "Your friend doesn't have much time... I'd give her two days at the most. The poison had already spread too much when she was brought to me and even with my magic slowing it down..."

Rarity felt her legs give and she fell to the ground. She covered her head with her arms and squeezed hard, "No, no, NO!" She got up and walked to Lucia, rearing on her hind legs and putting her forelegs on the human's shoulders, she began shaking her, "There must be something I can do! Someone I can talk to! Anything!"

Lucia nearly fell from the desperate unicorn's shaking. She hadn't noticed how the unicorn was taller than most midgardians when she stood on her hind legs. "We-e-e-ell the-ere mi-ight be on-n-ne wa-a-ay"

Rarity got back on four legs and stood in attention, not even noticing the poor priest's eyes still spinning.

When the world stopped spinning, Lucia shook her head and started talking in a hushed tone, "Well, everyone's heard the rumors about the Thieves' Guild in the pyramids... they say they have some sort of relation with the Assassins' Guild. Some people even say that the Assassins' Guild gets their new recruits from there!"

"Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen." Said cut her off with a sharp voice.

They both looked at Said with confused expressions.

"But they could-"

"They are criminals. They can't be trusted." Said was getting more upset by the minute, "I was ordered to look after these ponies, and I'm not letting her go into the pyramids!" he said while pointing at Rarity. "It's a dangerous place and I'm not going anywhere near it!"

Rarity began fuming too, "Well, I'm not letting my friend die simply because helping her might be dangerous!" She began making her way to the door when Said blocked her with his spear at the ready.

"I'm not letting you out of here." He tried looking threatening, which only made Rarity glower at him and light her horn, but as she was about to take the spear away, Lucia got between them and put a hand on both their shoulders.

"Listen, guys, let's just calm down and put away our pointy weapons, okay?"

"I will if she will!" demanded Said.

"It is not a "pointy weapon"; it is my horn! And I cannot simply "put it away" okay!?" Rarity was beginning to worry that she would have to be against her saviors one way or another before she was able to cure her friend.

"All right, let's just take deep breaths. No need for violence." Lucia sighed as both parties went back to more relaxed positions. "Okay. Why don't we just rest for tonight? I'm sure Rarity's still exhausted and she looks like she could use a bath. No offense."

"None taken. A bath would be lovely, actually... but I have to help my friend. I simply must!" Then again... a plan was already forming on Rarity's head. "Then again, me dropping dead from exhaustion won't help her much... very well, uh, Sister, I will gladly take you up on your offer for a bath."

"You can call me Lucia, sweetie. Follow me." Lucia smiled as she led Rarity into the bathroom on the back, while Said grumbled and walked out the house.

It was a small room with a rustic-looking tub and a small window on the wall opposite to it.

I guess hoping for decent plumbing and bathing facilities was too much... Rarity let out a small sigh. Still... that window shall do.

"Okay, just wait for the tub to be filled. Do you need any help?" How would you even use soap without hands? Lucia thought to herself.

"It's quite all right, darling. I can manage." Said Rarity as she levitated the soap and headed over to the mirror. She let out a dramatic gasp, "Oh, my stars... I really am a mess... I don't suppose you have a comb I may use?"

"There is one in the drawer under the mirror. I'll leave you alone now. Have fun!" Sang Lucia as she closed the door behind her.

"Indeed." Muttered Rarity as she made her way to the window while looking wistfully at the tub. A bath would be really nice, but I'll have time for that after I get those assassins' help.

I guess I should be thankful that it's such a small house after all... Rarity mustered all her stealth as she climbed out the window.

It was little past sundown, and it was dark enough that Rarity thought she could move without being seen. She slowly made her way around the house, which was nearly pressed against the northern wall of the town. She peeked around the corner and saw Said nodding off in a chair next to the house's entrance.

"Sorry..." She whispered as she moved slowly towards what she suspected were the pyramids.

Once she was out of the town proper, she allowed herself to relax a little. There was a lot of open space between the town and the pyramids, and only now she noticed it was all full of makeshift tents and many humans were sitting around them.

I suppose the survivors had to live somewhere other than their destroyed homes...

She decided avoiding any contact would be best for now. Humans were apparently unused to ponies, and if Said was any indication, they could be very excitable. Any screaming would end with her being found out and sent back to Dash... or worse.

As she tried to make her way through the outskirts of the camp, she picked up a low grumble coming from further outside the camp, "Seriously, are we even gonna hit this place? This is freaking boring."

Curiosity got the better of her and she made her way to the source of the noise.

She moved through some bushes and was greeted by a figure in a cloak with the hood up standing next to a couple of broken pillars.

The human let out another sigh. "Just send someone, anyone already..."

Rarity decided that getting into even more trouble would probably be a bad strategy at this point, and tried to make her way back to the pyramids... unfortunately for her, shambling bushes tend to call the attention of others.

"Hey! Who's there!? Did The Guild finally send someone over?"

The Guild? Rarity gulped as she thought her next words carefully, while staying in the bush. "Uh, hello, gentle fellow! Um, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with? I am Rarity, by the way."

"Rarity? That doesn't sound familiar... or like a normal name at all, so just call me Mr. Irrelevant, since that's all I'm to ya!" The figure was about to run off, but Rarity jumped out of the bushes.

"Wait, please! A-are you from the Thieves' Guild? I have business with them but I can't find them!" Rarity tried yelling in a hushed tone.

It obviously caught the human's interest. "What sorta business? The Guild's rates don't come cheap, sugar."

Rarity gulped, "A friend of mine has been poisoned, and I was told only the assassins would be able to cure her. I-I don't have any bits on me, but I'm sure I can pay if you give me the time to get them!" Rarity thought it was strange the human hadn't asked about her being a pony, but maybe it was already too dark, or his hood didn't let him see properly.

"Well, sucks for you, sugar, but The Guild always takes payment upfront. Now if that’s all, let's pretend we never saw each other, 'kay?" He was about leave, but Rarity tugged on his cloak with her magic.

"Wait! Please! I will do anything! There must be someone who can help me and I am willing to pay in any way you want! Just... just help my friend, please!" Rarity was fighting back sobs at this point, she simply couldn't fail.

"...Anything, huh?"

Oh, dear.

"Tell ya what. There's this operation I'm working on..."

Phew...

"And The Guild's apparently pretty short on extra hands. If you're actually good enough to sneak up on me, you might be of some use..." He tapped his chin for a few seconds, "Hahah! Yeah, whaddaya say, sugar? You up for it?" The man walked over closer to Rarity, who gave a few steps back to keep him from getting a good look at her.

"And... and you would help my friend?" her voice was trembling.

"Even if I didn't, do ya have a choice? We thieves are the only ones that can contact the assassins right now." The man held out his hand in front of Rarity, "Then? You game?"

Rarity sighed as she took a step forward. "Anything for her." she placed her hoof on the man's hand who shook it...

For a second until he noticed it was a hoof, "Holy…! What's up with your hand!?" He took off his hood to reveal a younger looking man with spiky, clear brown hair, "Whoa! You're not even human at all are ya?"

"Um, I guess I should introduce myself again: I am Rarity, a unicorn from Ponyville. Aheheh." She flashed him an awkward smile, which was probably lost to the darkness.

"Well, damn. Guess this won't be a boring night after all!" He flashed her a smirk of his own as he shook her hoof once again with renewed strength.

--

After the introductions were over (he refused to give any name other than "Mr. Irrelevant"), Rarity followed the strange man to a larger hill on the north-eastern edge of the valley the pyramids were in. Soon after, a cave's entrance came into view, and they could see it was being guarded by an old man dozing off on a chair.

Mr. Irrelevant stopped near some bushes far away enough to avoid being heard. "Alright, here's the deal:" he pointed at the man in the chair, "That over there's Old Man Shibu. Geezer's a mushroom farmer, but don't let that fool ya, the guy's loaded. 'Specially now that we don't get much supplies what with the attack and all..."

Rarity was getting nervous. "So... what am I supposed to do? Distract him? I could manage that, I believe..."

"Oh, no, I got something sweeter planned." The grin he was sporting gave Rarity goosebumps, "We're both gonna get in there, and steal as many of his orange 'shrooms as we can put in these sacks!" he said as he passed one of the sacks to Rarity.

"I... I have to steal? From someone else's work? I…" Rarity started sweating, "Are you sure you don't need a distraction?"

"Distraction? The geezer's barely alive right now." He paused and looked at Rarity with a raised eyebrow, "What kind of "operation" did you think a thief was gonna spring?"

"Well, I don't know, I thought we would maybe scare someone, or go look for some ancient jewel kept in a stuffy museum!" Rarity looked down as she played with her hooves nervously.

Mr. Irrelevant had to take a hand to his mouth to force down a guffaw, "Phfft! Now that'd be awesome. Ya read too many comics, girl!" He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "Well, that's the deal, pony. This is your last chance to drop out."

Rarity closed her eyes as she contemplated her options. Okay, so it's either betraying my principles and making somepony miserable for my benefit... or letting one of the ponies I owe everything to die... I'm sorry, but it simply isn't even a considerable option.

Rarity looked over at her partner in crime and nodded, "Let's go."

They moved quietly out of their hiding place and stuck to the shadow provided by the mountain, they sneaked past the old man sleeping by the entrance and slowly made their way deeper into the cave.

"Damnit, I must've left my torch back by the waiting spot... We won't get anywhere by going in blind..." Mr. Irrelevant stopped on his tracks and let out a drawn out groan. "I guess we gotta go back now, let's just hope the geezer doesn't wake up now."

"Wait, I may be able to solve this..." Rarity began concentrating and a soft blue glow enveloped her horn. The glow soon started growing and the cave was rapidly illuminated. The spell was simple enough, but the lack of rest was making it hard for Rarity to maintain it.

"Oh ho! Not bad, Lady, not bad at all!" He started walking again and he looked back to Rarity, "Let's move on, then. Though you better go up front now; just follow my directions and watch your step, a streamlet runs through the cave further ahead."

"Oh, and keep an eye out for monsters!" he added as an afterthought.

"Monsters!?" Rarity yelled by surprise.

"Keep it down, will ya!? Ya wanna tell everything in the cave where we are!?" The hushed yells of Mr. Irrelevant were enough to calm down Rarity, "'Sides, they're just those annoying Fabres or Chonchons that ya have to worry about. The Spores won't bother ya unless ya bother them first."

"I... don't know what any of those things are." Rarity still fidgeted nervously as she looked around.

Mr. Irrelevant let out another drawn out sigh. "Seriously?"

Rarity looked down and nodded, embarrassed.

"Geez. Fabres are the big caterpillar things, Chonchons the annoying overgrown flies and Spores are huge red mushrooms with teeth, got it?"

Rarity gulped, "Are they dangerous?"

"More like annoying, really. You'd get along with them just fine."

"Oh, ha ha."

"Just avoid ‘em if ya can. If not, I bet you could stab ‘em with your horn or just squish 'em or something."

"Yuck." Rarity gagged at the image of an impaled caterpillar on her horn.

"We wasted enough time, let's move on. And keep it down!"

"Okay, okay, no need to get antsy..." Rarity murmured as they continued down the path.

After awhile, they reached a dead end, and Rarity turned back to ask her "guide" what was going on, but she found nothing.

"Mr. Irrelevant?" She called out tentatively. "This isn't funny!" Her ears perked up as she picked up an unusual, yet kind of familiar noise.

*Boing!*

*Boing!*

*Boing!*

"...Pinkie?" Rarity moved carefully towards the noise, only to find a big mushroom with a red cap. It stared at her as she walked closer.

"Oh... aheh, you must be one of those Spores that ruffian was talking about. Um, I won't bother you anymore, then! Ta-ta~!" Rarity ran in the opposite direction, only to crash face-first into a big boulder standing in the middle of the cave.

"Oh, Tom... I told you it was a mistake, I wasn't being myself..." she mumbled drowsily as she fell to the ground.

As her vision slowly readjusted and she mumbled profanities against all rocks ever, Rarity noticed a bunch of small orange mushrooms growing on the bottom of the big boulder.

"I guess you aren't such a dumb rock after all..."

Sighing, she took all the mushrooms with her magic and put them in the sack she was given. "Ugh, these gooey things look gross. Why even farm something so nasty?" She shuddered as she thought how lucky she was she didn't have to pluck those things with her mouth.

After getting all the mushrooms on the boulder, Rarity looked for an exit on the cave. I might as well get all the mushrooms I can, and give them directly to the Thieves' Guild. I just hope they can help after all...

She kept walking until she came upon two tunnels, Great. Now I can get even more lost. I remember reading that the best way out of a maze is by sticking to the choices on the left... Or did I dream that? Oh, whatever. I'll follow the streamlet; it looks like it's going to the left, anyway.

As she followed the flowing water, Rarity came upon more boulders with mushrooms on their bases. She noticed some of the boulders even looked like huge mushrooms made out of stone.

I guess the farmer has a really tacky sense of decor... at least it makes spotting the mushrooms easy enough. I was actually expecting this to be harder! Rarity let out a contained giggle as she plucked more mushrooms with her magic. She didn't even notice the buzzing sound that grew closer and closer.

As she was putting the last of the mushrooms in her sack, something struck her on the side. It wasn't enough to knock her down, but the surprise attack knocked the wind out of her.

"Oof!" Rarity winced as she turned to look at what had hit her: a strange-looking fly a little smaller than the size of her head buzzed around in circles above her. She barely dodged a second tackle from the angry creature.

"Eek! Stay away, you ugly, gross bug!"

She was about to run away when she heard more buzzing sounds surrounding her. "Aaah!" She dropped to the ground and covered her head with her forelegs as the Chonchons flew in circles above her. As one was about to tackle her on the back, she swatted it away with her tail by reflex, she watched in awe as the powerful move of her (sadly not fabulous)tail actually knocked the bug against the boulder. The creature let out a squeaky scream as it smashed against the hard rock and fell unconscious, twitching its gross little legs in the air.

Huh... That shouldn't have felt as satisfying or as natural as it did... With renewed vigor, Rarity stood up and swatted at the remaining monsters. They almost managed to tackle Rarity a couple of times, but adrenaline had kicked in, and she was surprised her reflexes were working decently, regardless of how tired she had felt.

Most of the Chonchons now lay on the floor, only a couple were still attacking Rarity. Tired from so much action, Rarity turned at the remaining insects and pointed her horn at them. A light blue glow enveloped both monsters and pushed them against the boulder, knocking them out cold.

Rarity dropped to the ground again, but this time it was exhaustion taking its toll. She dragged herself to the streamlet, and dunked her face in it. "This really is no way for a Lady to live..." she said as she rested on the cold ground.

The mushrooms actually started looking edible, and Rarity had to fight the urge to chomp down on them. Knowing my luck, they’re probably poisonous, anyway…

She almost fell asleep, but the face of her dying friend flashed on her mind. She splashed some more water on her face, and got up on shaky legs, "No time to lose... I'll sleep when she's safe..." She'd do the same for me.

She followed the streamlet through some more tunnels, but she hadn't seen any more of the nasty flies, and her sack was almost full now. Just two more of those boulders should do it!

She came upon the biggest cave yet, and she could see it had at least four more of the mushroom boulders.

Rarity let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "This will finally be over soon."

She made her way to the first boulder and began plucking away. She noticed some of the mushrooms had what looked like bite marks... very small ones, but she still wondered if The Guild would take them. Then it hit her.

Uh oh.

She felt a sting just above her fetlock on her left hind leg and yelped, "Ouch!"

She quickly jumped away from the boulder, and saw as a green worm, just about the size of the flies from earlier wiggled its way towards her. She could see what stung her: the creature had rows of big stingers, almost looking like spikes, on its head and all over its backside.

Oh please don't be venomous, please don't be venomous! The last thing we need right now is another poisoned pony! Rarity checked the wound, but other than small bleeding and annoying pain, it didn’t seem like more than a larger prick, so she supposed the venom was slow acting, or the creature wasn’t venomous at all.

She had to think fast, though; she couldn't risk finding out if the thing was actually dangerous or not, and she had a feeling that if she stuck around, more of the creatures would come out. As she looked around the cave, her ears perked up at a familiar sound:

*Boing!*

*Boing!*

*Boing!*

A light bulb went off in Rarity's head, and she worked her magic as fast as she could; a blue glow surrounded the Fabre and soon had it floating through the air. As Rarity made her way towards the sound, sure enough, more of the caterpillars came from underground; some even dropped from the ceiling.

Gross, gross, gross, gross! Rarity picked up the pace and finally saw her target: a Spore relaxing by the streamlet. She held her breath and threw the Fabre with as much force and accuracy as she could towards the giant mushroom.

*Squeak!*

She quickly dropped to the ground in an attempt to hide from the Spore, which turned to look at the Fabre wobbling away from it.

Rarity watched as the Spore's "cap" opened to reveal an enormous mouth full of teeth and a huge tongue, which gobbled the poor worm in one bite. Rarity felt her stomach doing somersaults and brought a hoof to her mouth. I'm never, ever eating a mushroom again.

The Spore kept looking in Rarity's direction, and she tried moving away as slowly as possible, until she felt another sting, this time on her (maybe unkempt, but still fabulous) flank.

"Ack!" Right on the cutie mark... She jumped in surprise and the Spore immediately locked in on her. It started bouncing towards her.

*Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!* *Boing!*

Rarity had scant seconds to act: in front of her, a monstrous mushroom with a mouth big enough to take her head off on one bite; behind her, a troop of moving pincushions ready to poke her full of holes. The universe is really bent on giving me poor options today, is it not?

However, Rarity was not giving up so easily, a plan already forming on her head. Plan B it is, then. Or is it C? Either way, It. Is. On!

Rarity ran towards the mushroom, and as soon as she thought she was in its biting range, she spun, narrowly avoiding the monster’s teeth, and began running towards the army of worms. Just as she was about to step on the first critter, the unicorn jumped for all she was worth!

She was going to make it! She looked below her and smirked at the dumb little green monsters. Not today, you disgusting little ruffians!

She didn't even notice the one bigger Fabre straggling behind the rest of its brethren... not until her hooves landed on something unexpected, anyway, something... squishy. And green.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Off on the refugee camp, a lone tailor awoke with sweat and tears running down his face. The scream felt so real... so full of dread.

"What's the matter, honey?" Asked his now awake wife.

"I just... It felt as if the very essence of fabulousity suddenly lost some of its luster in this world."

He wept.

Back underground, a lone pony trod solemnly through a streamlet. I'll never be clean again. There isn't enough bleach in the world to fix this.

I should be happy... the mushroom monster got a buffet and I got away without any more stinging, miraculously... if that last bug hadn't been so big, I don't think I'd even be able to walk right now, but... WHY!? I think I'd rather lose a leg than suffer through something so... so revolting! She looked down at her still green hooves, her stomach doing more acrobatics at the sight.

I just hope this dumb Guild makes it all worth it.

Rarity walked through the cave. The streamlet went down some hole awhile back, and she was almost sure she was back on the tunnel she came in from. The light on her white horn was dimmed as she made out the exit further ahead. I made it! I will never feel clean again, and there aren't enough spa treatments in the universe to make this feeling go away, but I did it!

She sneaked past the sleeping "guard" and made her way back to where she first met Mr. Irrelevant.

"More like "Mr. Inelegant Good-for-nothing Oaf"... why, if I get my hooves on him..."

"Aw, that's no way to talk about the guy trying to help ya, Lady!" came a voice from behind Rarity.

Rarity couldn't believe it. She looked back and, surely enough, there was that infuriating man with a grin that tested the limits of her civility and refinement. She almost jumped him then and there.

"You! You... ruffian!"

"Hey, now, no need to get aggressive! Hear me out first!" The man backed off and stretched his hands towards the advancing unicorn in a pleading manner.

"Unless what you have to say somehow magically solves all my problems, I DON'T CARE!" Rarity was about to charge the man, but, again, her dying friend's face flashed on her mind and she stopped. She let out and indignant huff and sat down, looking at the ground. "I will hear you, but do not test the limits of my patience."

"Alright." Mr. Irrelevant let a genuine smile on his face. "I wouldn't wanna, anyways, I just got firsthand experience of your combat prowess!" he said with a low chortle.

Rarity raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"

"You were awesome down there! I don't think I've ever seen an aspiring rogue perform as well in that test!" Mr. Irrelevant was patting Rarity in the back at this point.

"Aspirant rogue? A test!? I almost died in there! And you were watching the whole time!?" Rarity could feel smoke coming out of her ears. She was beginning to regret her self-restraint.

"Well, yeah, ya wanna cure your poisoned friend, no?" The man’s tone was almost… amicable.

"Of course." Rarity perked up.

"And ya need the assassins' skills to cure her, right?"

"So I was told." she raised an eyebrow.

"Well, ya was told wrong!" He let out another chortle.

"...I don't follow." What is he getting at…?

Mr. Irrelevant got closer to Rarity, and spoke in a hushed tone, "It's like this: The Assassins' Guild and The Thieves Guild are very close organizations. The assassins even look at the thieves' as a sort of "Junior" guild. The Thieves' Guild actually teaches most of their senior members about the use of poisons and skills to counteract most of the poisons known to men! The Leader is actually a retired assassin! Can ya believe that?"

"It really does seem like a tall tale to swallow..."

"Well, ya can ask him yourself. Since you're part of us now!" He was back to laughing and patting Rarity on the back, like she was an old friend.

"But I never agreed to that! I don't want to be a thief!" Rarity was starting to panic.

"And ya can afford to refuse?"

She glowered at him.

"Thought so. Don't worry, Lady, I promise ya'll have a good time, and best of all, ya get to save your friend!"

Rarity sighed. If I can save her, it will all be worth it.

"There's just one test left."

"WHAT!" Rarity could feel a migraine coming on. The twitching on her eye was enough proof.

"Whoa, easy there. It's a very simple one, I promise!" He paused as he thought the best way to explain. "See, the thing is, the applicants usually have to find our hideout before they can ask for a position."

"Then why do you even say I'm already part of the guild!? I met you by pure luck!" Rarity fumed.

"Well, that's 'cause I'm the guy in charge of testing the new recruits, and I say ya passed! Even if ya didn't apply for the test." He snickered.

"And you can do that?"

"Well, not to pat myself in the back, but I'm pretty high ranking in the guild." he said through a smirk. "And I was bored."

That explains the conceited attitude. Rarity huffed.

"'Sides, I wasn't joking before; ya have some real talent. Even if ya said ya don't wanna steal, I think we can polish ya to become one of the best Rogues Rune-Midgard's ever seen." He gave another small smile.

Is that... pride on his face? "I just want to help my friend..." Rarity looked down.

"Alright. Tell ya what: ya need to cure your poisoned friend, and the Thieves' Guild can show ya how... however," He brought a hand to Rarity's shoulder, "We only teach the skills to good-standing members, but the guild always looks after their own."

Rarity closed her eyes, "I... understand. I will do what I must."

"... Who knows, ya might end up liking the thief's life after all."

Rarity simply stood there in silence.

"Anyways, come along." He walked towards the refugee camp and Rarity moved after him in silence.

Dawn would arrive soon, and Rarity began wondering if they had sent out someone to search for her already.

Though being caught for sneaking out would be the least of my problems now, I guess.

They stopped at the edge of camp, and Mr. Irrelevant pointed at the biggest pyramid some distance off on the other side of the valley.

"That's where your last test will be. I'm helping you enough as it is, but you can have this tip as well: The Guild's hideout's on the first basement of the pyramid. The road to get there is a maze itself, and you'll have to get through that on your own." He took out a small paper, "Give this, along with the mushrooms, to a guy named Brad."

"And won't they be shocked when they notice I'm, well..." Rarity motioned towards herself with a front hoof.

"Oh, don't worry, there've been filthier applicants before." he said with a smirk.

Rarity smacked him upside the head.

"Ow!" He rubbed the spot, "So much for being a Lady."

*Smack!*

"Alright, alright, geez. That hurts, ya know?" He chuckled. "Just tell them: "Don't worry, I'm irrelevant"."

"That's all?" Rarity got up, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Good luck, Lady. Look out for the scratchy snakes."

When Rarity looked to where he was, she was greeted again by an empty space.

"Th-Thank you, I guess..." Oh, I hope he doesn't follow around this time.... it's just creepy.

--

Rarity decided going around the camp would be her safest bet. Moving quietly with her sack in tow, she managed to get to the pyramid's entrance without any mayor mishap.

I do hope no one misses those tasty flowers...

The entrance itself was simple yet imposing: a tall doorway with a fancy portico and grand pillars. It looked old, but well kept, and a guard was reclining against one of the pillars, looking half asleep. Rarity wondered why anyone even bothered with guard duty as she sneaked in.

She silently made her way into the building; the cold breeze of the desert's night swept behind her as she was greeted by rows of torches on huge walls. After a few steps in, and she was already greeted by several different paths.

Oh, yes. I can tell right away I'm going to love this place... The left didn't fail me last time, so... ten steps later, she was facing a dead end.

Lovely. She sighed.

Forty minutes had passed since Rarity's change of strategy. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe... Well, this looks promising, I hadn't seen stairs before! She quickly made her way down a set of stairs, when a noise caught her attention. Is that the wind? This far inside?

She perked up her ears to hear better. No, wait... is that flapping?

Her ears ringed as a screeching bluish blur whisked past her.

"Aah!" She almost dropped the mushrooms from the surprise.

A huge blue bat was hanging from the ceiling above Rarity, and it looked bigger than the flies from before! It leapt at her again, and she watched as the creature bared its fangs at her, but dodged just in time to avoid it.

The sudden movement combined with fatigue made Rarity dizzy, and the next thing she knew, the bat was stuck on the lower part of her neck, near her throat, and all she could feel was the sting of its bite. In a panic, she dropped the mushrooms and bashed herself against the walls in a desperate attempt to shake off the monster.

The bat let go after a some struggle, but all that thrashing made Rarity's wound that much worse: blood trickled freely down the punctures on her neck, and she could feel herself losing consciousness.

Oh, dear... this doesn't look good... I can barely see anymore... the torch is too far away...

She looked back at the fire, and a plan started forming on her head. She had to act fast, or the bat would be back before she was ready.

She shook her head to get rid of the dizziness, and started running towards the torch as her vision readjusted. She barely registered the increasing pain on her neck.

Almost... there...

Just as she got below the torch, the bat went in for the kill, launching itself against Rarity at full speed.

Rarity turned around to see the bat's terrifying mouth fresh with her blood open up inches away from her.

Eat this!

She managed to form a barrier just in time to intercept the bat, which smashed headfirst into the light blue wall. Rarity took advantage while the creature was stunned, and soon a blue aura surrounded the bat. Using her remaining strength, she flung the vicious beast into the torch's fire, and forced it to burn in there.

Rarity dropped to the ground as she heard the monster screeching from being consumed by the fire. She couldn’t keep her magic up any longer, and the bat fell to the ground, aflame. It tried to fly away, but it was already too badly burnt, it would only jump and fall on its side. It soon simply lay there, burning away.

The smell of burnt flesh was making Rarity sick. At least I didn't have to stomp this one... I guess the universe will just keep finding new ways to make me lose my lunch...

She simply laid below the torch for what felt like hours to her.

Is this how it ends? The Beautiful Rarity... lost in some strange maze in a stranger world... I wonder how Sweetie is doing... how all of Equestria is... are the rest of my friends even alive...?

I failed them all... I fell so easily... if only I had been stronger, I wouldn't have fainted back then... I could have helped them...

This is all my fault. That monster is probably off in Equestria, destroying everything.... my friends... my family... my hard work... all my life... all gone...

What? Ah... that's right. There's still something left... somepony left... but can I even help her...?

... I can't give up yet. You have someone counting on you, Rarity. You owe her more than this!

Rarity got up on shaky legs, it was hard to breath, but the bleeding had stopped and she could still move on. She had to.

She stared at the fire through blurry vision, and noticed something on the torch's sconce... it looked damaged, but it didn't look like a fissure... it was like something was carved in there.

Rarity got on her rear legs to take a closer look... it was just a wavy line, but it had a head on one end. A snake...?

A snake carved into the wall.

Scratched into the wall.

A scratched snake.

Scratchy snakes...

WHEN I'M DONE WITH THAT MAN THEY WILL HAVE TO CHANGE HIS NAME TO "MR. INCONTINENT".

Ahem.

Rarity picked up her sack of mushrooms and followed the direction the "snake" was heading. Surely enough, more markings were below the other torches she came upon.

She had no idea how long she'd been following the snakes in the pyramids, but it felt like an eternity to her. It didn't help that every step she took felt heavier than the last.

I hope they don't think I'm some sort of zombie monster... though I'd expect zombie ponies to look more lively than myself right now...

The snakes led Rarity into a path with four different exits, but she noticed one of the paths was shorter, and had a set of stairs just before it ended. The stairs went through a doorway into what she suspected was the basement, and the wall just past the stairs had a sort of shrine with two actual sculptures of snakes holding torches. An image was carved into the wall between the sculptures... it looked like a human, but the actual features were dulled by the effects of time.

He did say it was in the basement... She made her way down the stairs and entered a large corridor with rows of torches, there were more carvings on the surrounding walls, but she ignored them as she walked down the corridor.

After some time, she found another set of stairs going further down, but the tunnel they led into was barely big enough for a human to fit through. These stairs also had a shrine behind them, but this one was much more ornate; four carefully carved pillars surrounded a dusty altar above the entrance to the tunnel. She paused to look at the ominous sculpture.

I suppose it's further down, then...

She carefully made her way down the stairs, but a clopping sound caught her attention. Are those... hoofsteps!?

Something was off about them, though. She'd never heard such heavy hoofsteps, and the grunting and huffing she heard along them wasn't reassuring either.

She moved down the remaining stairs, carefully avoiding making noise and when she was about to exit the tunnel, she peeked outside tentatively.

At the exit of the tunnel, she could see it was just a continuation of the maze from above, though this level looked more... primitive. The walls were dusty and some had cobwebs on them, and there was also sand everywhere, it was as if the place had been untouched for years, but she could still hear heavy hoofsteps and grunting.

Maybe I should head back now... I must have missed something on the last floor...

Curiosity got the better of her, however, and she headed to the source of the noise... it was somewhere around the next corner...

Oh, my... Standing there was something she could recognize as a minotaur. It wasn't like Iron Will, though. Rarity recalled Fluttershy's pleas that he wasn't a monster. How right she was...

This minotaur was almost twice as big, both in stature and musculature, as the so called "self-help guru"; it was completely covered in a dull brown fur, and its eyes were just pits of an aggressive red devoid of any semblance of humanity. It also carried an iron mace almost as big as the monster itself.

I definitely must have missed something in the last floor, let's just go and check. And pretend I never was so dangerously close to needing a defibrillator on hoof...

Never in her life had Rarity moved as carefully and quietly as she did in this very moment. It's just like trying to mend a beautiful dress, only my whole body is the needle and not becoming a beautiful stain on the ground is the payment...

It took her some time, but she finally made it back to the first basement without alerting the minotaur.

Now, what should I be looking for…? She paced around the corridor. More snakes, maybe?

She checked every torch, but none had any carvings like the ones on the first floor. Ugh... was it really so hard to just tell me where the blasted hideout was?

Maybe it has something to do with the carvings on the walls, then?

The carved images barely made any sense to her. It's just a bunch of humans fighting other humans... some fellow with a fancy hat being attacked by more humans... a taller human with a shiny horned helmet talking to the rabble that attacked the fancy hat fellow... Wait. That human's helmet has a small snake on it!

Let's see... here the horned-human gives weapons to the smaller humans... here it's talking with the fancy hat human... here the two of them are... hugging? And the next one has them... oh, my. Moving on.

She had nearly made her way back to the shrine and the stairs to the lower floor.

This has to be it. She stood in front of an image of the Horned Human standing with arms stretched towards the sky. Standing on the opposite end, many smaller humans stood on the same position. The position of the torch above them made it look like they were all trying to reach for it.

She levitated the torch out of its socket and heard something behind the wall clicking, and soon the wall slid open and revealed a new corridor.

Unlike the rest of the pyramid, this corridor looked tidy, and had electric lighting instead of torches. Rarity slowly made her way through the corridor, a mixture of anxiousness and excitement for the unknown fueling her on.

"Ey, who's there!? Why didn't you close the door!?" A rough masculine voice came from further inside. A tall, muscular human walked towards Rarity and suddenly stopped when he saw who, or rather what, it was.

"Oh, um." What did he tell me to say again? Oh, right! "Ah, don't worry about me, darling, I'm irrelevant." Rarity said through a raspy voice, she grimaced as the pain on her neck came back when she talked.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Right. Next time, stick to the exact phrase."

Rarity perked up. "I... *cough*... I'll remember that, thank you." She showed him the mushroom sack, "Are you Brad, by any chance? I'm... I have to deliver these to him."

"Brad's further inside, by the counter. I'm just security." He walked past Rarity and made his way back to the entrance. He picked the torch from the ground and looked at both sides of the corridor outside before placing the torch back on its socket.

Rarity heard more clicks as the secret door slid back into place and the man made his way back to her.

"Always lock the door after you. Don't wanna deal with random adventurers."

"Ah, I understand, *cough* sir."

"The name's Dirge." The man was looking at Rarity like she had grown a second head.

I guess they really don't have ponies around here..."Oh, I am... ugh... I'm Rarity. A pleasure."

"Oh, yeah. Real pleasure. Why don't you go ahead to your business with Brad? You don't look like you'd wanna waste time."

Surprisingly considerate... or maybe just the type to keep to himself? "I *cough* I will do that... thank you."

The rest of the walk down the corridor went down quickly, and Rarity soon found herself in a wider room. She could see a counter with a door behind it on the far end of the room, and there were piles of boxes and some barrels lying about the place.

She made her way to the empty counter. Why even have a counter if nopony is going to be attending it? "*cough* *cough* Excuse me? Is anyone there?"

"Coming!" a sweet voice sang from behind the door.

Soon enough, the door opened and a smaller woman walked behind the counter. She had long, flowing blonde hair and her face shined as the light reflected from her younger features. Rarity sighed as she was reminded of the poor appearance she was stuck with at the moment, looking down at her bloodied coat and limp mane.

"Whoa!" The girl did a double take on Rarity, her face showed something like concern. I guess I'd be worried too if a bloodied mess appeared out of nowhere in my boutique...

"Uh, *cough* hello? I was looking for Brad, I have something for him, you see..." Rarity levitated the sack up to the counter.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry, it's just... are you...?" The woman gestured at Rarity, waving her hand at her.

Rarity sighed. This is going to get old soon enough. "Yes, I am a pony. A unicorn, to be precise."

The girl grimaced as she further inspected Rarity. "No, I mean, yes, but, are you... okay? You don't look so good..."

Rarity looked up at the worried face on the girl. It looked so genuine. "Oh! I… I'm sorry, I just assumed..." She looked down at her (still greenish) hooves and sighed. "Anyhow, I have been better, darling, but *cough* I will manage." Rarity's dry voice and constant coughing betrayed her statements.

"Oh, but that's such a bad wound on your neck... and you almost look like you bathed on blood! You don't sound too good, either!"

"Don't worry, dear, I'm just a little hoarse."

The girl giggled. "...Pun intended?"

"Huh? Oh... " Rarity giggled at her accidental pun, but her injuries soon turned the giggles into pained coughing that brought her to the ground.

The girl ran to Rarity with a cup in hand, "Oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am! I didn't expect that to happen!" She carefully patted Rarity on the back.

When her coughing fit stopped, Rarity looked up at the girl. "It's fine, my dear... I think I needed a laugh."

The girl put the cup to Rarity's lips, "Here, have some water."

Rarity obliged, and took a sip from the cup. The water burned a little as it went down her throat, but she was feeling better already. "Thank you, dear. Really."

"Oh! My name is Amalia, and you're very welcome, ma'am." she said with a wide smile.

Rarity smiled as a warm feeling spread inside of her. "Please call me Rarity. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Amalia."

The girl blushed as she got up and walked back to the counter. "O-oh. Sorry, I just don't think I'd ever heard anyone say that to me." She giggled, "Anyway, I'll go get Brad for you. There's more water in that barrel," she pointed at a barrel next to the counter, "Please help yourself!"

Such a sweet girl... what would someone like that be doing with in a Thieves' Guild?

Rarity made her way to the barrel and refilled her cup. Oh, I never thought I'd miss water so much! She had to fight an urge to simply dunk into the barrel. Then again, I'd probably poison the water as I am right now.

The sound of steps on the stone floor was approaching, and Rarity reared up on the counter to see a young man with long, messy red hair coming from the door.

"Huh, she wasn't kidding." He got to the counter and looked at Rarity, "I hear you have something for me?"

"Um, yes. Mr. Irrelevant told me to give you these mushrooms along with this note." she levitated the now blood-smeared sack and note to the counter, "Sorry about the mess." She chuckled nervously.

He silently took the note and began reading. A smirk formed on his face as he glanced down the note. "...That ass!"

Rarity raised an eyebrow, "Is there a problem?"

He chuckled. "Oh, not really. Just standard procedure with that dumbass." he said as he showed Rarity the note:

"Hey, man. Got your 'shroom fix! Should be more than enough.

Oh, and the unicorn is now our newest member! Treat her well!!

[Here was a crude drawing of Mr. Irrelevant's face with sunglasses on.]

Deal with it ♥

XOXO"

Rarity felt her eye twitching, and brought a hoof to her face.

Brad started laughing, "Yeah, that's also standard procedure." He presented his hand to Rarity, "Anyway, I'm Brad. Nice to meetcha."

Rarity shook hoof to hand, "I am Rarity... it is nice meeting you, too."

"So, tell me: How many times did you hit him? Though being a unicorn, maybe you got to stab him with your horn?" He snickered.

"Beg your pardon?" Rarity gave him a questioning look.

"I meant "Mr. Irrelevant," nobody can talk to the guy without hitting him one or ten times. Sometimes I think he actually likes it." He mock-shuddered.

"Oh... Well, I did smack him upside the head... twice... when he implied I was filthy." She chuckled. "Which I was, of course, but it was more the way he implied it, you see."

"Wow. That has to be a record for him. Or maybe you're not the violent type? Not many people like that seek to join the Thieves' Guild, though." He paused and gave Rarity a serious look, "You do wanna join, right?"

Rarity looked down. So I don't have to join? "Um, it's a little more complicated than that. But I... I suppose I do."

""A little more complicated than that?" Listen, Rarity, we don't want members who don't want to be a part of us. We don't take slaves."

"No! I mean... that's why I say it's complicated! I need the guild's help to save my friend, but I don't have anything to pay with..." Rarity looked at Brad with pleading eyes.

"Hm. We ain't a charity, that much's true..." Brad closed his eyes and looked away. "Alright. Let's go talk to the boss. You'll explain everything and we'll decide what to do from there, sounds good?"

Rarity looked down in a frown, "I... suppose. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or imprudent, but I'm very pressed for time. I don't know how much time my friend has left, but it can't be more than a day..."

"Alright, no worries. Let's move on, then." He went back into the door and Rarity followed right after.

The door led to another corridor, though this one had many doors on its sides. Probably their quarters or storage rooms...

They walked on in silence and as they neared the end of the corridor, Rarity saw a couple of familiar-looking sculptures. Two tall snakes made of stone stood on the sides of a wooden door with a knocker shaped to look like an aggressive cobra's head.

Brad knocked on the door and looked back at Rarity. "Let's hope the boss's awake. Old man spends so much time dozing off nowadays, you never know." He smirked.

"Come." a deep voice said from the other side of the door.

Brad opened the door, and as he went in, he suddenly dropped to the ground. Rarity saw a purple blur fly over her head and flop harmlessly to the ground some feet behind her, she turned to look back at the door just in time to see a second blur bop into Brad's head and bounce directly at her face. She almost ducked in time, but she felt as the blur struck her softly on the horn.

"Good reflexes." said the same deep voice, "Not good enough, tough."

Brad got back up and rubbed his head, "Geez, good day to you, too, Boss."

"Maybe if you focused more, you could dodge my greetings more gracefully. Try meditating or, as you call it, "dozing off" more often."

"Oh, you heard that?" Brad chuckled nervously, "You know I don't mean it like that, Boss."

"Of course." said the voice in a flat tone. "Who is our guest?"

"Oh, right. Come over here, Rarity." Brad moved further inside and motioned for Rarity to follow.

Rarity entered the room and instantly fell in love. The walls were decorated with beautiful embroidered silk tapestry in some places and detailed oil paintings of diverse sceneries in others, and the whole place had a smooth, shiny marble finish. There was a large bed in the middle of the room that made her own bed back in Ponyville look cute in comparison with its silky curtains and an exquisite covers. Rarity hesitated to go any further, eyeing the fabulous carpets on the floor. She simply stood there, mouth agape.

A chuckle caught her attention, and she looked at a man with a white stubble smiling at her. His skin was a darker complexion than any of the humans' she had seen so far and his face also looked a little wrinkled. His head was mostly covered by a piece of dark brown fabric that matched his robes.

"Hmm... you are an interesting one. You took my greeting and turned it into a fashion accessory." He chuckled again.

Brad looked back at Rarity and began chuckling as well.

"Huh?" Rarity looked left and right, but didn't find anything other than hear already filthy coat.

Brad started chortling as he pointed at Rarity's head. Her horn, specifically.

Rarity looked up to see a purple blob where her horn should be. She thought it was just her hair at first, but noticed it was a different tone. It also looked fluffier than her current mess of a mane and smelled, oddly enough, like old cheese.

She shook her head and purple slipper dropped in front of her. Her face turned a deep shade of crimson as Brad laughed out loud and the old man chuckled some more.

She cleared her throat. "Ahem. Yes, uh... My name is Rarity, and I-" the older man cut her off.

"Oh, come closer, I won't bite." he said in a playful tone.

"... I'd really hate to tarnish your beautiful carpets..." she eyed the rugs lovingly.

"Oh ho! Someone with an eye for beauty! I was worrying you had some sort of trauma when you suddenly froze after entering the room." He laughed and walked towards her.

"I can always respect someone who respects beauty. This one could teach you a thing or two, boy!" He looked at Brad with a mocking glare.

"Why even bother to set up a rug if you won't even walk on it?" He sighed.

"Don't be foolish, boy! That "rug" is what ties the whole room together!"

"Right." Brad walked next to his boss, "Rarity, this is the leader of the Thief's Guild: Jaffar "The Sultan". Boss, our friend here was sent by Vant, along with this note and a sack full of different types of Orange Mushrooms." Brad handed Jaffar the note.

Jaffar eyed the note and brought a hand to his forehead, "Stupid boy..." He sighed.

"However," Brad continued, "Our friend here says she doesn't exactly want to join the guild. Rarity, why don't you explain to us what you actually want, and what went down with Vant."

Rarity sat on the marble floor and closed her eyes as she collected her thoughts. Oh... where do I even begin...? Should I tell them about Satan Morroc?

I guess if I want their help, I should tell them as much as I can. "Sit down, gentlemen. This may take some time..." She waited for Brad as he brought a couple of cushions over to where they stood. "Very well, then... I, along with my friend, came from the land of Equestria..."

She told them about Satan Morroc's attack on Equestria, how she suddenly woke up in a desert after the battle, how she found out about the assassins' antidote and how he met Mr. Irrelevant. She also told them about her mishaps in the mushroom farm (she neglected to mention how her hooves ended up green, more out of a wish to pretend it never happened than anything else)...

"And then "Vant" told me that you could actually teach me how to save my friend. He said the method is only taught to members of the guild, and so "suggested" that I joined." Rarity felt her throat stinging again after doing so much talking, and wondered if a scratch near Pinkie's throat would be considered a life-threatening wound.

"He said finding The Guild's hideout would be my last test, and sent me into the pyramids." Rarity grimaced. "I wish he had mentioned the huge, awful bats, though."

Brad raised an eyebrow, "Just like that? He sent you into the pyramids blind?"

"Well, he did tell me the hideout was on the first basement..." Rarity looked away and clenched her teeth, "Along with a warning to watch out for scratchy snakes."

"Scratchy snakes?" Brad stared at her in confusion, "There haven't been snakes in these pyramids for years now!"

Jaffar looked at Rarity with a smirk, "And you actually figured out what he meant by that?"

"Well, it was mostly luck, to be honest." she admitted sheepishly, "I wish he had used a different clue; something like "follow the burning snakes" would've been just as cryptic but would have worked more as a riddle should, I would think."

Jaffar laughed. "I'll have to remember that one!"

Brad hit his forehead as the answer hit him. "Oh. Oh! That's such a bad tip... and you actually figured it out?"

Rarity blushed, "Like I said, it was mostly luck."

Brad patted Rarity on the back, "Still, nicely done!"

"Th-thank you..." Rarity looked down at the ground and sighed. "I have to say... I didn't expect you to be like this... I was expecting a bunch of ruffians and brutes that would laugh me out of this place as soon as I showed up."

Brad snickered. "Well, most of the guild's members rarely visit the hideout for long."

Jaffar tilted his head at this, "And yet, you still decided to try and contact us. Why?"

"Well... it was either risking that, or doing nothing and letting my friend die." Rarity looked at Jaffar with a hardened determination on her eyes. "I can't let her die like that. Not as long as I am able to move. Not as long as there is the slightest chance to save her. I owe her this and more."

Jaffar smiled. "Such loyalty."

"Oh, I'm not the loyal one." Rarity chuckled.

"If you say so." he chuckled as well. "I think I have a deal for you, dear lady."

Rarity's eyes watered."Y-yes?" Anything...

"We can't teach you the skill to detoxify your friend."

Rarity dropped to the ground. "But-"

"I'm not done yet. Don't make any assumptions until I'm finished."

Rarity looked up, "S-sorry..." She got back on her hooves.

"Don't be. You're in a hard position." Jaffar sighed. "We can't teach you because that would take too long, your friend would die before you learned how to save her."

He stood up. "We could send one of our members to detoxify her." he said as he walked towards the big bed in the center of the room, "But, as you may have noticed, we really are short on hands around here," he opened the nightstand next to the bed, "And the only ones currently here that know how to detoxify people are Brad and Myself, anyway, and neither of us can leave the hideout right now." He took out something from the nightstand, and moved back to Rarity.

"However." He showed Rarity a small, green tablet, "This is the most potent antidote the Assassins' Guild has come up with. It's not exactly easy to use; it's most effective when poured directly into the blood system, but since it's not a liquid, you can't exactly inject it..."

Rarity grimaced, "So I would have to cut her and then shove the tablet in?"

Jaffar shook his head. "Almost. You have to grind the tablet into a fine powder to apply it to the wound. You have to be very careful about how you cut your friend, as well; too shallow and the antidote won't get properly into the bloodstream, too deep and you risk injuring something badly. Most potions should be able to patch up a small cut, but you still should be careful."

"That... sounds like it could get messy easily."

"Indeed. But it's your best bet, unless you can get your friend here in time. But you might just not have that choice, so be prepared." Jaffar put the tablet in a small pouch and handed it to Rarity, who levitated it and secured it to her mane.

"... You should try getting some clothing, as well. I'll see about lending you a cloak. You could use the extra storage space, it seems." Jaffar forced a cough.

"I would be most thankful. Us ponies don't usually bother with clothing unless it's for a special occasion, you see." She chuckled.

"If you're gonna be living amongst humans, you'd best think about wearing something all the time. Humans won't be as surprised when they see you if you wear familiar clothes." Brad suggested from behind her.

"I'll worry about that when my friend is safe and sound. Right now, her life is priority number one for me." It almost sounds like they have a problem with my not wearing clothes... Rarity looked back at Jaffar, "So... what would you have me do to pay for all your help?"

He flashed her a grin. "Good. I'm glad you didn't "forget". You don't have to join the guild if you don't want to... but." Rarity raised an eyebrow. "You already proved you're more than good enough to handle one of our operations by yourself."

Rarity got up, "I can see where this is going: You would have me do more of your operations to pay for your services, correct?"

Jaffar chuckled. "Clever girl. However, it will be just one job. It won't be-" He was cut off by Rarity as she extended her hoof towards him.

"I accept, of course." she said matter-of-factly.

"Well, I have to say I admire such eager disposition." Jaffar grinned as he shook Rarity's hoof.

Jaffar looked at Brad with a serious face, "Boy, get our friend here a cloak and escort her to the exit of the pyramid, would you?"

"You got it, boss." Brad started making his way to the exit.

Jaffar looked at the door and yelled calmly: "And Amalia, next time don't stay outside the room. Someone might think you were spying on us!"

"Eep!" a squeak sounded from behind the door, and Amalia was soon standing on the doorway.

"I-I'm so sorry, boss. I was just so worried about the poor unicorn, and I wanted to give her something to make her feel better!" she held out a small, round flask filled with a bright yellow liquid, "B-but when I got here, you were talking so seriously... I didn't want to interrupt." She looked down, "Sorry."

"It's okay, girl. I was wondering why nobody had offered our guest some healing yet." Jaffar glared at Brad.

"Sh-she said she was in a hurry! There was no time!" Brad shifted his eyes and held his arms up in defense, "I was gonna give her something when we went for her cloak, honest!"

Jaffar gave him an unamused stare. "Of course."

Rarity stepped next to Brad and placed a hoof on his leg, "I really did insist that I was running out of time." She gave Jaffar a pleading look.

Jaffar smirked. "Very well, boy, you're off the hook this time." He went back to his bed, "Okay, then. Move along youngsters. And good luck."

Rarity followed the two thieves out of the door, and turned around as she was about to exit. "Thank you. For everything."

"You can thank us when your friend's feeling better and you've paid for our help." came the amused voice from the bed.

Rarity bowed and turned to walk out the door. She closed the door with her magic and let out a contented sigh.

"Alright, let's go get you a cloak." Brad chirped out.

"Really, Brad, just let me give her the potion now." Amalia's chided next to him.

Rarity looked up at her, "Thank you, dear, but I think I'll take it for the road. I might get thirsty from the trip back."

"It's not just a drink; you will feel much better after drinking this!" Amalia gave Rarity her best puppy eyes, "Please?"

Rarity faked a sigh and had to resist the urge to giggle. Oh, how many times has Sweetie used that look on me? "Very well, dear. If you insist." she smiled.

Amalia beamed as she uncorked the flask and presented it to Rarity.

The flask was enveloped in a soft blue glow as Rarity took it with her magic. A delicate smell wafted through the air, it was almost sweet with a hint of sour, it reminded her of the teas Twilight got from Zecora from time to time.

"Just drink it all in one go." pressured Brad.

Rarity did just that, and almost gagged at the taste of the brew; it wasn't disgusting, but it tasted different from anything she'd ever tried before, it was like really strong tea. She couldn't decide if she liked or disliked it.

Brad snickered and Amalia was patting Rarity on the back as she shot a glare at him.

"Are you okay?" Amalia kept patting her on the back.

"I'm fine, my dear, it was just an... interesting thing to-" Rarity stopped as a warm, almost tickling sensation expanded from her stomach. She could feel her accumulated fatigue lessening, and the stinging on her neck suddenly got stronger, only to completely disappear all of a sudden.

Rarity brought a hoof to her neck, but couldn't feel the two gashes she had earlier. "What...?" her voice was trembling.

"They don't have healing potions in Equestria?" Brad asked in a surprised tone.

"Well, they are a bit rare, you see. Why, I had never even drank one in my entire life!" Rarity shifted her weight, testing her legs, I feel so light! She trotted in place, almost doing a little dance.

"So, you're feeling better?" Amalia giggled as she watched Rarity.

"Oh, darling, thank you so much! I feel like a whole new pony!" Rarity got up to hug Amalia, who almost fell under the larger pony's weight. Sensing her wobbling, Rarity got back on four hooves and nuzzled the girl on the stomach instead.

Amalia giggled through a blush, and Brad mock-gagged. "You ponies sure are touchy-feely, huh? Or maybe it's a girl thing."

Rarity looked up to see Amalia blushing, and broke off with a blush of her own, "Oh, I'm sorry, darling." She chuckled nervously.

Amalia was still giggling. "Oh, don't worry about it, Brad's just being dumb." She stuck her tongue at him. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Rarity. I'm just sorry I didn't have a stronger potion."

"You could've gotten one of the white ones from the storage." Brad suggested nonchalantly.

"But I didn't know if the boss would get mad if I took supplies from the storage... besides, I still had a few left from my last trip outside." She produced a pouch that jingled with its contents and smiled at Rarity, "You can have these, too. I can just take a potion from our supplies if I have to."

"Oh, but, darling, I couldn't-" Rarity said as tears of happiness began gathering on her eyes.

"No buts!" Amalia slid the pouch around Rarity's neck as Brad chuckled.

Rarity nuzzled her again as she whispered a thank you.

"Alright, let's move on, people." Brad made his way down the corridor and stopped in front of a door near the exit to the counter.

"Right." Amalia and Rarity followed him.

"Wait here." he ordered as he went inside the room. Rarity could make out more crates, barrels and even chests all over the place.

"There we go." Brad came out with a rough, long cloak that he presented to Rarity. It had various pockets on the inside, and it was made of a rough fabric.

Not the most fashionable piece... but perfect for thieves, I suppose. Rarity donned the cloak, making mental notes on how to improve her outfit when she had the time. She looked up at Amalia, "How do I look?"

Brad spoke up. "Like you've been through hel and got a nice cloak."

Amalia shot him another glare, but looked back at Rarity when she heard a sad chuckle.

"I suppose that's true enough... at least it covers most of the dried off blood and muck..." she sighed. "Let's go." Rarity began making her way to the exit of the hideout, but stopped when she felt a hand on her withers.

She looked back to see Amalia give her a sad smile, "Good luck, Rarity."

Rarity smiled back. "Thank you, darling. I'll be back soon enough."

Brad and Rarity walked in silence past the counter and out of the hideout, Brad only giving Dirge a nod and saying "I'll be back in a bit."

They made their way back to the first floor, Rarity trotting a little faster than Brad could walk.

"Wait, hold up. I know you're in a hurry, but you don't wanna get lost, right?"

Rarity waited to walk behind Brad. He was going too slow for her taste, but it looked like he was searching for something on the walls of the maze.

"Why don't we just go on the opposite direction the snakes are pointing? That seems easy enough." Rarity complained.

"Well, that's kind of what we're gonna do, but there's snakes under every single torch in this maze. If we follow the wrong path, we could be here for hours." Brad walked up a set of stairs and stopped where three paths met. He motioned for Rarity to move closer.

"Alright, see this diamond shape here?" he motioned to the edge of one of the walls. "This is the symbol for the quick path. We just have to follow the snakes that are on the path with diamonds on both walls, and you'll be out in no time."

Rarity looked at the surrounding paths and, sure enough, only another wall had a diamond shape on its edges.

"Let's go." Brad walked down the maze, only occasionally looking up at the torches to make sure they were on the right path.

As they walked down the path in silence, Rarity decided to make some small talk.

"Say, how would you tell someone about that quick route in a riddle?"

"Well, we usually only tell people about it after they're officially part of the guild. By then, there's no point in playing riddles with them." Brad kept his eyes on the road, "So I never really thought about it."

Rarity looked around as she thought. "How about... Oh! The snakes that follow the path of fabulousity shine the brightest!"

"What." Brad said flatly.

"See, because they follow the diamonds! And the snakes shine because they are on the torches?" Rarity smiled with self-satisfaction.

"I don't think any riddle that has the word "fabulousity" on it can be taken seriously. I don't even think the people on the guild would say the word if they had to." Brad said in an amused tone.

"Oh, but it's the perfect riddle and a perfectly good tip!" Rarity giggled.

"I'll be sure to bring it up to the boss. I bet he'd love making people say "fabulousity" as a punishment, at the very least."

They both shared a laugh as they went along the path.

Rarity stopped as her ears perked at a strange noise filling the air, "What is that?" she asked.

"What's what?" Brad looked around, "I don't see anything."

"That sound! It's like a plopping sound, only it stops every few seconds." Rarity's ears moved around as she tried to locate the source of the noise.

"Huh. I don't hear a thing, but that sounds like a Poporing to me." He shrugged and continued walking.

"A Poporing?" Rarity scrunched her face as she said the word. That doesn't sound nice.

"Eh? Oh, right. I guess you'd never've seen one. It's sort of a green slime blob with a face. It's not aggressive unless provoked." He sighed, "They're a bit of a pain, though, as they like absorbing any item they can find. If I had a coin for every story of one of those blobs stealing somebody's lunch..."

Rarity shuddered. A green slimy thing called "Poporing"? "O-oh. Let's move along then."

"Right." Brad smirked. "We're almost at the entrance, anyway."

After turning around a few more corners, Rarity was greeted by familiar-looking rows of torches.

"We made it!" She galloped down the corridor and could see orange sunlight coming in through the entrance.

"Hey, wait up!" Brad moved up to a brisker pace behind her.

Rarity made her way out of the pyramid and took in a big breath. Ahh. I really missed the fresh air... now I just have to get to the town without being seen and-

"Stop right there, criminal scum!"

Rarity looked at the same guard she saw dozing off earlier pointing his spear at her. Oh, ponyfeathers.

"Please, sir. Surely this is some sort of mistake." Rarity chuckled nervously as she stepped away from the guard.

"There is no mistake! You are a wanted uh, unicorn and it's time to pay for your crimes!" He moved towards her threateningly.

"Oh, give it a rest, Umar. She's had a rough day." Rarity heard Brad say from behind her.

The guard drew back his spear and smirked at Rarity. "I coulda told you that. What are you doing out in the open, man? Something big going on?"

Brad walked past Rarity and bumped fists with the guard. "You could say that."

Rarity stared at the pair as they talked nonchalantly. "Excuse me, but just what is going on here!? This man was about to assault me!"

Brad put a hand on her mouth and looked around. "Do you want everyone in Morroc to hear you!? Keep it down." he said in a hushed tone.

"Sorry." she muttered.

The guard spoke up, "That's what I'd like to know. The whole Continental Guard along with the remainder of the Morroc Guard is looking for you." he pointed at Rarity.

"Moi?" Rarity gaped. "B-but what about you? Aren't you a guard?"

Brad put a hand on the guard's shoulder. "Rarity, this is Umar. He is a guard, but he's with the guild." He then walked to Rarity and put a hand on her head, "Umar, this is Rarity, though I guess you already knew that." He paused, "She's with us now, too."

"I figured as much after I noticed her sneaking around with Vant yesterday." Umar snickered.

"Hold on a second!" Rarity pleaded, "What do you mean he's a guard but also a thief?"

"Shh!" Brad glared at Rarity.

Rarity simply shrank, "Sorry."

Umar sighed, "I'm not a thief at all. I just happen to sympathize with the guild's actions." He grinned at Brad.

"As long as the guild sympathizes with his monetary needs." Brad grinned back.

"Oh." Rarity nodded. "And what was that about me being a wanted unicorn?"

"Like I said, everyone's looking for you. Chief Balrog sent someone earlier to tell me to be on the lookout for a unicorn, with orders to capture you on sight. If I hadn't seen you earlier, I woulda thought the old geezer had finally lost it." He eyed Rarity, "What did you even do to get that sort of attention, anyway? If you're not careful, you're gonna end up in jail and not even the guild'll help you then."

Rarity gulped, "I-I don't know! I mean, I kind of snuck out to find the Thieves' Guild yesterday after being ordered to stay put, but other than that... Unless they found out about the mushroom farm..."

Brad shook his head, "Doubt it. Nobody'd care about Shibu missing some mushrooms. What are you gonna do now, though? If they capture you, you might really end up in jail and you won't be able to help your friend then."

Rarity looked at the sun as it was setting on the distance, "I should be able to sneak into where they have my friend as soon as it's dark outside... but I can't risk wasting any time." She looked at Brad, determination strong on her face, "I'm going in. Now."

Brad sighed and looked away. "Guess I understand. Good luck." He gave her a pat on the back, "Try not to get caught, you'll be of no use for us if you're rotting away in a jail cell."

Rarity gulped. "Thank you. For the help, I mean; not for the mental image." She began galloping towards the town, but stopped when she saw a spear's shaft on her path.

"Try sticking to the north part of the refugee camp, not many stay there at this hour." Umar said as he got back to his position guarding the entrance to the pyramid.

"Thank you." Rarity nodded and resumed her gallop.

--

She went unnoticed as she made her way through the north of the camp; it was nearly empty as Umar had said. She soon passed the spot where she had met Mr. Irrelevant the night before, and her ears dropped when she didn't see him around.

Wait, why would I even want to see him? That good for nothing ruffian would probably just infuriate me more. She convinced herself and moved on towards the gate to the town.

She stuck to the hill that bordered the valley on the east and made her way south towards the city. Rarity moved slowly and carefully; she knew the guards didn't have many people available, and she had noticed the watchtowers had been damaged. As long as she was careful, she would make it. She soon was on the other side of the northern wall of the city.

She's exactly on the other side of this wall...

The unicorn hid on the long shadows provided by the wall, and slowly made her way to the gate...

Just a little further... She felt something poke her on the rump and looked back.

"Boo."

She almost shrieked as she came face to face with a hooded figure, but a hand found its way to her mouth before she was able to.

"Easy, there, Lady."

That insufferable voice... that tacky hood... that cocky attitude... "You!"

The figure let out a quiet snicker as it stood up. "Yeah, it's yours truly! Old-" Rarity cut him off with a swift kick to the gut.

"Oof!" He fell to the ground on his back, groaning.

"That's for sending me to my death with the stupidest possible riddle to ever be devised!" she hissed.

He tried to get back up, but came face to face with Rarity, who loomed over him threateningly. Uh oh.

Rarity pressed her lips against his cheek and moved back. "And that's for all your help." she said with an angry, yet sweetened voice.

Rarity thought she saw something red under the hood for a second, before he dropped back on the ground and began laughing.

"Oh, come on! "Scratchy Snakes" sounds awesome!" he said as he got back up.

"Snakes don't scratch, dear." Rarity chided.

"Exactly! You're supposed to wonder why a snake would scratch and then look for stuff that does scratch or could be scratched!"

"That doesn't even make any sense." Rarity giggled derisively. "Torch brackets don't scratch. Nor are carvings on the wall considered "scratches"." Rarity mock-glared at him.

"Cryptic riddles aren't supposed to make sense." he said matter-of-factly.

Rarity brought a hoof to her face, "I give up."

Mr. Irrelevant snickered. "So, didja get an antidote?"

Rarity raised an eyebrow, "How did you know I'd get an antidote? You wanted me to learn the technique to detoxify my friend..."

"Nah, I knew that'd take too long and the old man would probably just give you a G.C. Antidote." he waved her off as he walked next to the wall.

"And for that matter, what are you doing here? I have to go in and give the antidote to my friend!" Rarity took a place next to him on the wall.

"Oh, I'm gonna help ya detoxify your friend." he said nonchalantly as he produced some rope and a grappling hook out his cloak.

"What." Rarity's eye twitched.

"I toldja, the guild looks after their own." he said as he threw a grappling hook over the wall.

"But I'm not even part of the guild!" she hissed as he made sure the hook was properly held to the wall.

"Says you." He handed some rope to Rarity, "Here, I doubt hooves are good for climbing up ropes, so strap on. I'll go up first and help you over."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just sneak in through the gate? I doubt there's many people keeping watch." Rarity took the rope with her magic as she waited for a response.

"Well, they're pretty sure ya went to the pyramids, so they have a couple of guys watching that gate. There's also one guy keeping watch directly on the door of the place your friend's at." He gave one last tug at the rope and prepared to climb.

"Ya ready?"

"Yes... but how did you find out where my friend was? I don't believe I ever told you." Rarity secured the rope around her midsection and looked at her accomplice already halfway up the wall. Such a frustrating man...

She felt a tug come from the other end of the rope and tried to help by levitating part of the rope. It wasn't long before she was climbing up the edge of the wall.

Mr. Irrelevant motioned for her to stay low as he looked for any good points to climb down.

They crept over to a spot behind one of the taller buildings that still stood and soon made their way down.

"Well, finding your friend wasn't hard when Balrog himself visited the spot. Those guards need to practice being quieter, too." He smirked.

"I have one last question... why did you send me to the pyramids if..." Rarity paused. "No... never mind."

Mr. Irrelevant sighed. "If I could just detoxify your friend? Well, it was a pretty selfish reason on my part, really. I really wanted ya to join the guild, you see." He scratched the back of his head, "But... by the time I'd decided I felt like helping ya, it was just too late."

Rarity sighed. "I'm glad you decided to change your mind, at least. I was worried I wouldn't be able to use the antidote properly..."

"Eh, ya woulda managed." he shrugged. "Alright, your friend's up on that house. Let's stick close to the wall and get in through the window on the back."

Not a soul noticed the two cloaked figures moving on the shadows.

--

Lucia sighed as she was done casting her spell on the unconscious pegasus. "Hang in there, cutie..." She rested a hand on the unmoving pegasus' head.

I hope Rarity didn't do anything dangerous... Oh, I shouldn't have mentioned the Thieves' Guild at all... She sighed as she looked out the window on the bedroom.

It's getting pretty late... I hope this poor soul can make it through the night.

She got up and walked to the door, nudging it open just enough to talk to the guard outside. "Hey, Said! I'm going to take a bath so don't come inside until I say so!" She closed the door and yelled: "Oh, and if I catch you peeping, I'll put a curse on you!"

"Like anybody'd want to peep at you!" came a flustered yell from outside.

Lucia giggled as she slid off her robes and made her way to the bathroom.

The bathtub was filling up with nice warm water, and she soon slid off her lingerie and placed it on a stool next to the bathtub.

Bubbles and steam soon wafted through the air as she washed herself.

After a thorough session of scrubbing, she slowly entered the bathtub, the hot water washing away her worries.

"Ahh..." she sighed contentedly as she massaged the sore spots on her lean body.

She never noticed the light blue glow surrounding the slowly opening window on the opposite wall, or the small grunts that came from the same spot.

--

Rarity peeked through the now open window, and was greeted by warm steam and a scent of lavender. She almost lost focus as she relived spa visits that seemed so long gone now.

She saw Lucia rubbing her legs on the bathtub as she let out contented sighs. I wish I can enjoy a bath like that soon enough. She huffed, a sting of immature jealousy setting on her stomach.

She climbed in and motioned for her partner in crime to follow.

--

Mr. Irrelevant made his way up the window and climbed to the other side effortlessly, barely even making a noise. It took him a moment to take in the warmer, moist ambience and the weird fragrance in the air.

Then, he looked up to see a beautiful brunette making moaning noises in a bathtub.

He didn't know how long he simply stood there as the room got warmer and warmer. There was only this moment.

A sudden jab on his side woke him from his reverie, and he turned to see Rarity poking at him with her horn. She looked at him with a confused expression and motioned for him to follow.

He looked back at the bathtub before walking away.

So long, Mon Amour. May we meet again!

--

Rarity finally managed to get his accomplice's attention. What is with that man? Seriously, he's more random than Pinkie Pie sometimes!

She quietly opened the bathroom door and made her way to the living room to find an unconscious pegasus lying on the bed.

She heard a soft click behind her and soon Mr. Irrelevant was standing right next to her.

"Wow. And here I thought you looked gaudy." he whispered.

Rarity jabbed him harder on the side with her horn.

"Oof." He rubbed the spot, "I'm so glad humans don't have horns right now..."

"Never mind that." Rarity reared up to the bed, "Will you be able to help her?"

She looked even worse than before, almost none of her original color remained through the thick glowing purple of the poison.

Mr. Irrelevant walked next to her. "Hoo, boy. Looks like we got here just in time." He inspected the pegasus and looked at Rarity, "Where exactly did the poison wound happen?"

Rarity drew an imaginary line from the tip of her friend's shoulder that passed just below her wing, down to where her cutie mark started.

"Cool tat." he said as he took out a dagger, "Ya might wanna look away."

Rarity looked on as he did a shallow incision almost perfectly through part of the line she described. Some blood trickled down the glowing purple fur on the pegasus.

Rarity moved up to her friend's face, hoping for any kind of reaction, but none came.

She looked back at Mr. Irrelevant's process to see a soft blue glow emanating from his hand and into the wound, changing the purple fur back to its original color. He was holding a glass test tube with his other hand, pressing it against the wound to gather some of the flowing blood.

A stirring below her surprised Rarity, and she turned to see her friend grunting and scrunching her face in pain. Rarity petted her head at first and she was soon resting her own head on her friend's neck.

"Please hang on..." she whispered to her ear.

Rarity saw the purple fading away as the minutes passed. The grunting became mumbled words and the pegasus below her began stirring more and more.

Mr. Irrelevant pressed the test tube a little harder against the incision to get some more blood, which caused a reflexive wing flap to slap him on the face. He walked away and rubbed his nose. "I help someone and all I get is pain. Story of my life." he mumbled.

Rarity giggled and whispered into her friend's ear, "Well done, darling."

The word lingered on the pegasus' subconscious for a moment before she suddenly opened her eyes. "Ra... Rares?"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity cried as she hugged her friend, "I-I was so *sob* worried, darling!"

Rainbow tried getting up, but a stinging on her side plus her friend's grip on her head left her almost immobilized.

"What's going on? Where are we?"

The pegasus felt something wet on her face and only then she noticed Rarity's crying as well as the sorry state her friend was in: her usually lustrous mane hung limp and the bags under her eyes made it seem like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"W-what's wrong, Rares? Are you okay?"

Rarity kept crying on her, and Dash stopped trying to pull away, deciding to return the hug instead. She caught something off the corner of her eye: A strange creature was crouching next to a door looking at something on the other side. It didn't seem to be paying attention to them, and she noticed it was shaking as if it was in a giggling fit. She could swear she saw something leaking from its face, too.

"I'm so sorry, Rainbow. It's all my fault." Tears still trickled down Rarity's face, but she'd stopped sobbing.

"What are you talking about, Rares? I still have no idea what's going on." Rainbow tried getting up again, but this time Rarity helped her up. The stinging on her side still bothered her, but when she tried rubbing it with her hoof, she felt something wet and the stinging got stronger. She looked at her hoof and saw some blood on it.

"Darling, don't pick at it, you will only make it worse." Rarity chided gently as she brought one of the potions out of her pouch.

Rainbow took the flask with red liquid floating in front of her and looked at Rarity. "What's this?"

Rarity uncorked the bottle for her. "It's a healing potion, darling, drink some. Our friend here had to cut you so he could get rid of the poison."

"Poison?" Rainbow made a face as she sniffed the potion on her hoof. "Ugh. Smells weird."

"Don't be childish, Rainbow. It will make you feel better." Rarity smirked. "Would you like me to feed it to you with a spoon as I make engine noises?"

"Ha Ha." Rainbow blew a raspberry at her and looked back at the potion. She shrugged as she took a sip. "Huh... not as bad as I expected." She felt a tickling sensation where she felt the stinging before, and fought to suppress a giggle. "Hehehe that tickles!"

Rarity corked the bottle and placed it back in her pouch, "Do you feel any better, dear?"

"Hey! The stinging's gone!" Dash looked at her side and found only some blood stains on her cyan fur. "Awesome!"

Rarity giggled. "Indeed." She leaned closer to Rainbow and whispered, "Do try to keep your voice down, darling... we have to go now, but I'll explain everything when we're in a safer place, okay?"

"Why? What's wrong?" Rainbow got up on her hooves for the first time and wobbled a little, but Rarity was immediately by her side.

"Can you walk, darling?" Rarity asked with concern all over her face.

Rainbow got down from the bed slowly and walked around the room. "Yeah... Yeah. I just got a little dizzy there." She chuckled.

Rarity walked next to her again, ready to catch her just in case. "Very well, dear. Please tell me if you start feeling dizzy again, or anything else."

"Seriously, Rares, I'm fine." Rainbow sighed. "All right, so where are we going?"

"Uh... well, right now, we just have to get out of here, but I suppose we'll head back to the pyramids after that."

Rainbow went still as her wings flared and she looked straight ahead at nothing in particular. "Sorry, Rares, I think I didn't hear you right... did you say "pyramids"?"

Rarity raised an eyebrow at her friend's strange behavior. "Umm, yes?"

""Pyramids" as in big dangerous places made of stone?" Rainbow began trembling.

"And very annoying mazes, yes." Rarity added as she moved to face Rainbow, "Are you sure you're okay, Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow leaped into the air and fluttered around Rarity. "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! An actual pyramid!" She zoomed next to Rarity and pressed her friend's muzzle against hers, "And you've actually been there!? That is. So. Awesome!" She did a back flip in the air and landed next to Rarity. "Come on, let's go! I wanna see them!"

Rarity sniffed as a few tears ran down her face. "Oh, Dash... I'm so glad you are back." she trapped her friend in a warm, squishy hug.

Rainbow blushed as she returned the embrace. "C-C'mon Rarity, you know I wouldn't leave ya hanging." What in Equestria is going on!? "Let's just get out of here, okay?"

Rarity sniffed again and broke the hug. "Right. I'm sorry, dear." She took a deep breath, "Let's go."

They walked side by side to where Mr. Irrelevant was crouching. As they got closer, they could hear how he gave a low, dorky laugh.

"Uhuhu... huhuhu..."

"What's this guy's problem, Rares?" Rainbow pointed at him.

"I wonder about that myself, dear." Rarity cleared her throat, trying to get Mr. Irrelevant's attention. When it inevitably failed, she decided to jab him with her horn again.

"Ouch!" He rubbed the spot and looked back at them, annoyance clear on his face. "What?"

"We have to get out of here before we're found out, that's what." Rarity chided.

"Who's this, Rarity?" Rainbow looked at the human. "Actually, what is this?"

"I'm right here, ya know?"

"Rainbow Dash, this is Mr. Irrelevant. He's... a complicated character, but he did help save your life just now. Mr. Irrelevant, this is Rainbow Dash." Rarity said awkwardly.

"Ya know, ya can call me "Vant". That's what all of the guildies call me, anyway." He shrugged.

"And what is he? And what do you mean he helped save me?" Rainbow looked sideways at him.

"I'll explain once we get out here, let's just go for now. Please?" Rarity looked pleadingly at Dash, who just shrugged and sighed.

"Fine."

A voice came from behind the door. "Didn't I close this? No wonder the steam kept thinning out."

The three intruders only had enough time to exchange a look.

They all may have used different words, but the feeling was very much the same: "We're screwed."