Donuts come in Bulk

by Penalt

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Comedy, Pony Joe, Bulk Biceps, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5007

An insanely crazy story made for the October Crackship Contest.

Bulk Biceps is one of the strongest ponies ever. Donut Joe can make donuts like nopony else. What happens when you put the two of them together and the wrong spell goes off?

Shenanigans, that's what.

Written for the Crackship Contest. Please take pity on Sandstorm94 and MxSpitfire who dared edit this.

Published 2017-10-21 17:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-21 17:50:06 UTC

Batter Matters

It was the late evening on a midweek night in Canterlot, and most ponies were at home, snug in their beds. The only ones abroad at this time of night was the occasional detachment of Royal Guard, ensuring the peace was kept. All was quiet and at calm, just the way the Guard liked it, except for a particular shop on Restaurant Row. It was a small and quaint operation, with an enormous reputation. For this was Donut Joe’s shop, the famed purveyor of fine cake donuts to pauper and princess alike. Lights blazed in the back of the shop as two ponies laboured mightily to accomplish their task.

“I’m really glad you decided to help out with the inventory restocking,” Donut Joe said to his helper. “Some of these ingredients are only available a few times a year and I’ve got to stock up as much as I can, when I can.”

“Bulk is always glad to help Donut Joe,” the massively thewed white pegasus said. “You helped Bulk with his student loans, and Bulk will always help out his friend whenever he can.” Bulk Biceps carried four heavy boxes into the large storage room for every one of Joe’s with each trip of the huge delivery that the shop had received right at the end of the work day.

“Well Bulk, as I said, I’m damned glad you were in town,” Donut Joe said, wiping some sweat off his forehead. “Putting all of this stuff away would have taken me a couple of days by myself. With you here we can probably be done in a couple of hours.”

“YEAH,” Bulk shouted out enthusiastically, rearing and spreading his forelegs wide. In his joyful exhilaration, but he failed to make sure that his legs had enough clearance to avoid nearby obstacles and sure as Discord made chocolate rain, Bulk Bicep’s hoof connected firmly with the box at the top of a stack. Joe had a container of fragile herbs in his magic and so he could only watch helplessly, as in rapid succession one stack fell into another, then a third, the chain reaction finally ending at a stack of heavy barrels of frying lard which collapsed and crashed into the open door, slamming it shut behind roughly a ton of free floating fry fluid.

“Uh oh,” Bulk said, embarrassed. “Sorry Joe, I’ll pick everything up.” Donut Joe patted the younger pegasus on his shoulder and carefully set down the delicate herbs for Luna’s favorite Night Jasmine donuts.

“No worries, bud,” Joe said, as he began to restack the first group of boxes and checking for damage. “Why don’t you start with the barrels of fry oil and I’ll work my way toward you. Sound good?”

“YE-ah, “ Bulk Biceps said, cutting short his traditional catch phrase with a chagrined look, and he started standing barrels back up on their ends, clearing the door and restacking the heavy barrels back into their traditional pyramid pile. With the doorway cleared of the obstacle created by the barrels, Bulk tried to open the heavy wooden door that had been slammed shut, only to find that even his massive strength was unequal to the task.

“Problem?” Joe asked, as he heard Bulk grunt with effort, while he finished checking the group of boxes he was dealing with. All of them seemed to have survived their fall intact.

“Yeah Joe,” Bulk said, heaving on the door again. “The door won’t open.”

“Huh, let me try,” Joe said, as Bulk Biceps backed off from the door. Joe powered up his horn and tried to open it with a spell. The beam reflected off the door, and slammed into a sack of flour, bursting it open.

“That didn’t work,” Bulk Biceps said, looking a little worried now. “Maybe Bulk should try again?” Joe rubbed his chin and looked at the door with a frown.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Joe said, then he sighed. “I don’t think it’s gonna work, but just go for it Bulk. Give it all you’ve got.”

Bulk Biceps loved to test his strength and he rubbed his hooves together with glee. He grabbed onto the door handle and heaved with all of his massive strength. Bulk Biceps may as well have been carved from stone as his muscles locked in place from the strain, and for a full minute nothing moved except for the beads of sweat that exploded one by one from his brow.

After the end of the second minute, sweat was pouring from Bulk’s forehead and Donut Joe started to get worried. Something began to creak from the door and for a split second the baker thought Bulk had done it. But then there was a horrible tearing sound and Bulk Biceps went flying back across the length of the room. The sheared off metal handle of the door was still hooked around one of his hooves as he soared passed Donut Joe and crashed into the shelving at the back of the storage room.

“Bulk, Bulk, you okay?” Donut Joe dug through the pile of sacks and boxes that had fallen onto the white pegasus as he had crash landed. It only took Joe a few seconds to reveal a dazed face looking back at him.

“Wha...What happened?” Bulk Biceps asked, as he replayed the events of the past few minutes in his head. “Why didn’t the door open?”

“Stupid locking and preservation spell on the door,” Donut Joe said, with a small growl. “Canterlot Food Safety made me put spells on the door to keep out bugs and keep anypony from tampering with the food. They must have kicked in when the door got slammed closed.” Bulk’s eyes went wide.

“We’re locked in?” he asked, rising panic in his voice. Joe put a hoof on Bulk’s shoulder to slow him down.

“Don’t worry,” Joe said, smiling to reassure his younger friend. “I was worried about this sort of thing happening so I got one of those spell storage things and filled it with a spell to cancel out what’s on the door.

“Great,” Bulk said, slowly getting up from the pile he was the center of. “Where is it?

“Well, see,” Joe said, rubbing the back of his head and looking a little embarrassed himself, “that’s the thing. I can’t really remember where I put it. I mean, I know it’s in here somewhere, just not where.” Bulk Biceps looked around the room, fully filled with fresh inventory and looked at Joe.

“Uh okay, what does the thingee look like?” Bulk asked, trying to spot the item from where he was.

“Well, that’s the other thing,” Joe said, looking even more embarrassed. “It’s been so long since I bought it, I don’t really remember what the thingus looks like. All I know is that when we see it, we’ll know what it’s for.”

“Okay,” Bulk said, and he began to search shelves and boxes looking for something unusual. Joe joined in and together the two of them began to go around the room looking for the device that would open the door and free them. By unspoken consent Joe searched the lower shelves while Bulk handled the higher ones, using his greater height and an occasional boost from his wings. After about half an hour of looking Bulk was thinking they would never find the whatsit, when he spotted an ornately carved box at the back of a top shelf.

“I think I got it!” Bulk yelled out, getting back on the ground and opening the box. Donut Joe turned, saw the box Bulk was opening and blanched as he tried to shout out a warning.

“BULK! NO! That’s the wrong...” Joe began to shout out, but it was already too late. The white pegasus opened the box and he had just enough time to see a mass of straps and buckles looking back up at him, before a cloud of red smoke blew out from the box, filling the room in scarlet smoke. For several long seconds neither pony could see a thing, coughing and gasping as the smoke settled, and as the air cleared Donut Joe could see that everything in the storage room had been coated in a fine red dust.

“Uh Joe,” Bulk said, gingerly putting a hoof to his face. “What the heck is this?”

The mass of straps and buckles in the box had apparently been a bridle, and the explosion had somehow blown it outwards and wrapped it around Bulk’s head. Bulk reached a hoof all around the straps, trying to find a way to get the bridle off, but he couldn’t find a buckle anywhere. Donut Joe spotted a sheet of paper in the box and he picked it up, hoping to find some answers.

Dear Donut Joe,

Hope you enjoy the Amarezonian Mating Bridle and that you’re with someone you like right now. Next time, maybe you won’t turn my adventure against the tatzelwurm into something from Neighpon.

Daring Do

“Awhile back, Daring Do was in the shop and I may have made a few comments involving her, a school uniform and some, uh, naughty tentacles,” Joe said, as he read the note out to Bulk and brushing dust off of himself. Bulk began to do the same, but stopped a few moments later.

“Joe?” Bulk began, his voice hesitant and questioning. “I’m feeling kinda funny.” A vermillion glow began to come from the bridle, tinging Bulk’s white fur in its red glow. Joe began to look through the box that had held everything, searching for something to help his friend with. The red light grew in strength and under that crimson light Bulk Biceps rippling body began to flow like soft dough.

Bulk’s body began to shrink, his body shifting from large and bulky to a lithe, svelte form that was smaller than Joe. Bulk’s wings, his tiny wings that moved at speeds to rival that of hummingbird, exploded outwards expanding until they rivaled those of young Flurry Heart in scale. Huge expanses of ivory wing covered in soft, snow white feathers that rippled with an iridescent sheen as if they held tiny crystals of ice in them.

“Joe...Joe, what’s happening to me,” Bulk asked, thoroughly confused and trying to understand what was going on with his body. A confusion that grew to panic as his sheath, along with its pride and joy, began to shrink away. Joe did the only thing he could think of, he grabbed onto his friend and pulled him close to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Bulk,” he murmured into the panicking pony’s ears. “I’m here for you. It’ll be okay. It’s just Daring’s idea of a joke to get back at me.” He held the shrunken Bulk even as their voice changed from its normal deep bass to a furry contralto as Bulk’s confused whimpers suddenly rose into a series of cries before collapsing into Joe’s hooves. “What in Tartarus was that?”

“I...I think I have mare parts now,” Bulk said in amazement, pulling away from Joe to look at their body and then they spun around to present their rear to Joe, tail raised high. “What do you think?”

Joe was suddenly presented with a point blank viewpoint of one of the best formed flanks he’d seen in a long while, a faint smell of vanilla coming from the presented parts and Joe could feel himself begin to loosen in his own sheath.

“Uh, looks like everything is there,” Joe said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady, as the temperature in the room seemed to go up by several degrees.

“You better feel around a bit and make sure,” Bulk said, waving his now very female assets directly in Joe’s face. Joe felt his mouth go dry and it was all he could do not to bury his muzzle into the offering before him, the smell of vanilla even stronger now as he felt the tingling in his crotch that announced the imminent arrival of his cock from it’s sheath.

“Bulk, are you sure?” Joe said, his hoof already reaching out, trembling as he brought it to a halt just shy of the magically made marehood. There was a heat coming off it that reminded Joe of the warmth his ovens retained at the end of the day.

“Yeah, it aches, like it needs something,” Bulk said, need heavy in his new feminine voice and Joe felt the feline purr of that voice slide down his body, curling under his belly and giving his cock a caress. “C’mon Joe, gimme a hoof here, okay?”

Joe was not some stoney statue, frozen in time. He was a pony of flesh and blood, of fears and desires, and giving into them he let his hoof cross the final inch or two to contact the welcoming flesh that awaited his touch. Bulk gave out a throaty moan and began to grind herself into Joe’s hard hoof. Joe just closed his eyes for a minute, reveling at the sensations coming from his delicate frog as it found the little nub Joe knew had to be there somewhere, and as Bulk gave a pleased gasp, Joe felt his cock drop fully from his sheath.

“Bulk, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Joe said, biting his lip as he opened his eyes to how much his friend was enjoying his attentions, “but I think I wanna buck you. I don’t know why, but you're so damn hot it hurts me to hold back.”

“It’s okay, Joe. I want you to buck me. I want you to fill me, long and deep and hard,” Bulk moaned, looking over his petite shoulder and past those huge new wings of his. “I was a big, big pony and I’ve always worried that I hurt my partners in some way. So buck me, Joe. I need to know what it feels like from this end.”

“Are you sure, Bulk?” Joe asked, even as he ground his hoof a little harder into his friend, just skimming the entrance to her moistening passage. “We’ve been hit by some kinda spell or something, this ain’t normal for either of us.”

“Stop worrying about the damn ingredients Joe,” Bulk said, lowering her forequarters to lift her hips high and she spread her wings wide for balance. “Let’s just bake the damn cake already.” It took every single ounce of self control Joe had left to lower his hoof and not immediately mount the soft lovely ivory pegasus in front of him.

“Okay Bulk, but you know you can’t bake a cake unless you grease the pan first,” Joe said, and he make a long lick along Bulk’s slit. Bulk’s shudder and moan were everything Joe could have asked for in a reaction from a partner, and he made another long, achingly slow lick along the erotic path his tongue had blazed, savouring the now strong vanilla flavour, with just a hint of strawberry.

“Ce-lestia,” Bulk swore, trying her best not to whimper at the sensations flooding her new body. “Where...where did you learn to do that?

“I’m a baker,” Joe said, backing off for a moment. “Of course I know to make things rise, my little snowflake.” He plunged back in, and the juices of the mare in front of him began to flow freely. Bulk whimpered as pleasure flowed through her in a way she had never known before and she seized on an idea to try to hold her mind together under the endorphin assault.

“Snowflake...ya...call me Snowflake from now on,” the white pegasus managed to gasp out. “Can’t really...be Bulk...Biceps when I’m like this.” Joe took a little pity on the pegasus and pulled his muzzle away from the flavours he had been avidly devouring.

“Snowflake eh?” he asked, then nodded. “New body, new name. I can work with that.” Joe plunged back in, giving special attention to the growing nub at one end of Snowflake’s slit and he grinned to himself as her groans and moans of pleasurable need became louder and louder.

“Luna save me!” Snowflake cried out, quivering shudders rolling through her in an almost continuous wave. “Just buck me already!”

“Naughty filly,” Joe said, gripping Snowflake’s hips to pull her even closer to him. “Behave, or I’ll see if there’s some reins in the box to go with that bridle of yours.”

“I don’t care what you do,” Snowflake lowering her head in surrender as she began to succumb fully to Joe’s attentions. “Just do iAAAAOOOOHHH YEAHHHH” Snowflake cried out in ecstasy as Joe plunged his tongue deep into her slick passage, plumbing her depths with his strong, agile tongue. Her mind whited out as every nerve inside her seemed to fire at once, her orgasm taking her to a far distant place.

When she came back to herself, she realized was still on floor, but some empty sacks had been arranged as a pillow for her head and Joe was on his side, beside her.

“Hey, welcome back,” Joe said, a smile on his face. “How was it?”

“Wonderful,” Snowflake said, frowning as she noticed something hard poking her in the side. “Wait, that wasn’t you inside me?”

“Baker, remember?” Joe asked, smiling. “I have to taste everything first.” Snowflake laughed.

“How did I taste?” Snowflake asked, and she idly began stroking the trailing edge of one of her wings up Joe’s belly, making sure his half displayed shaft received some attention.

“Slow down..ah..a bit there,” Joe said, gasping a bit as he felt his cock begin to swell under the broad white feathers as they made their soft stroking assault. “Haven’t you had enough?”

“How about you? You’re already good to go,” Snowflake said, looking down. Joe followed her gaze and saw his cock emerge from the surrounding feathers like a spire looming out of a fog, tall, rampant and ready. “That ache is coming back, Joe. I need to you buck me, I know it now. Whatever Daring Do hit us with, it’s not gonna let go until you do your best to breed me like I was in heat.”

“Good,” Joe groaned out, as Snowflake stroked him again, drawing out a small slick of pre onto the head of his shaft, “because between you and whatever that dust was, I’m not sure I can be much of a gentlestallion this time.”

“Good,’ Snowflake said, instinctively moving back into the breeding position. Shoulders low, hips high and tail flagging to spread the scent of her readiness. “You can’t be gentle for me. You’ve got to do your best to bend, break and breed me. I want it Joe. I need OH!”

Donut Joe had gotten up while Snowflake had been passionately asking, no begging, for him to take her and he did just that as he reared up, grabbed her again by the hips and pulled her into his crotch. Sadly, his aim was a little off and instead of neatly sliding into Snowflake’s ready passage he speared the inside of her thigh with his shaft.

“Oog,” Joe said, with a slightly pained groan as he collapsed onto Snowflake’s back. The small lithe mare seemed to have strength beyond what she should have had, as she easily bore the weight of the entire stallion on her back.

“You okay?” Snowflake asked with a hint of a snicker, wriggling a bit to get Joe to lay on her properly.

“Ya, just give me a sec here,” the unicorn said, and with a breath, he pushed himself off of Snowflake’s back and took the time to line himself up properly this time. Snowflake could feel the rounded head of Joe’s shaft sliding across her entrance as he got things right on the second attempt.

“C’mon, use that batter plAHHH” Snowflake moaned out huskily as Joe, having found his mark, thrust himself home in a single long push, burying himself in soft firmness all the way to his hilt. Snowflake’s inner walls began to pulse in rhythm, working themselves against the shaft they surrounded, trying to drive the stallion into a mating frenzy. They succeeded, as with a growl, Donut Joe dropped his upper body over Snowflake’s back, hooked his forehooves around her wing joints and pulled her back into him as he thrust forward.

“What was that?” Joe asked, grinning widely as the improved grip and leverage let him piston himself into the white mare beneath him, and Bulk now Snowflake, was quickly reduced to moans and muttered demands of “More!” Donut Joe was an older, more experienced pony but Snowflake had both youth and stamina on her side and it became a contest to see who could outlast the other.

Five, ten, fifteen minutes went by with Donut Joe steadily pounding Snowflake’s plot with a steady pace. Snowflake’s walls gripped and milked at Joe’s cock as it slid back and forth in her passage, threatening to drive Joe over the edge with every thrust. Joe could feel sweat begin to cover his body as he began to reach both his physical and sexual endurance. Just as he began to worry that his partner was going to outlast him he again felt that tell-tale quiver come from Snowflake’s body.

“Gotta...make it last,” Snowflake gasped, trying to pull away. Almost completely lost to instinct Joe reached out a hoof, grabbed the back of the bridle attached to Snowflake and pulled her back against him, impaling her on his cock and the pair briefly froze in that tableau. Stallion dominant, his mare tightly held against him, and a red glow began to appear over the pair.

“Bu...Snowflake,” Joe gasped out, even his balls grew heavy, preparing to fill the mare beneath him, “this is it. Either I let you go right now and we stop everything or I do my best to fill you with all I’ve got.” He groaned, trying to fight down the electric tingle that was growing along swelled and flared length.

“Joe,” Snowflake began, trying to say something important that was washed away in a rush of desire and the primal need that all species have. “Do it. Give me all you’ve got. I can take it.”

Hearing Snowflake give her permission, Joe let go of the bridle and let his mind go with it. He grabbed onto Snowflake and began rapidly thrusting in and out of her with every ounce of strength and endurance he had left. For her part, Snowflake started meeting his thrusts, pushing her hips back against him as he thrust forward and her walls rippled against his shaft to draw forth the creamy essence that was there.

Another few minutes went by with Joe’s thrusts bottoming out with every stroke, his balls growing heavier and heavier, while Snowflake’s cries of pleasure grew louder and louder, begging Joe to allow her release. Then, with a sudden wash of colour Joe’s vision turned completely red, and with the roar of an ancient cave pony he pulled Snowflake against him one final time and locked in position as he finally unleashed his massive, magical load of might into the mare.

Snowflake felt the sudden rush of heat enter her core, filling her and the hot sensation triggered her own release into orgasm. She cried out in wordless joy, her contralto voice weaving a melody around Joe’s baritone roar, as her entire body jerked and spasmed from the tremendous orgasm. She was just bringing herself back under controlled when she heard a growl behind her that raised the hairs on the back of her neck.

“More,” the beast that had been Donut Joe snarled out, and leaning forward he grabbed the crest of Snowflake’s neck in his teeth as he began to pump in and out of her again. Pinned, scruffed and under the magic of both sex and spell alike, Snowflake went limp except to try to raise her rump even higher into her stallion. Reinvigorated by the sorcery of bridle and magic dust, Joe again built up a heavy, pounding rhythm churning the already delivered cum around inside Snowflake like milk being turned into butter. Several minute later, covered in sweat and sticky with fluids at their intimate joining Joe unleashed every last drop of cum he had into his petite pegasus partner.

“OH YEAH!” Snowflake screamed out as Donut Joe filled her to overflowing, the intense heat of cum burning away the driving ache she that had been within her since the bridle had fastened itself to her. With one last twitch of his overused organ, Joe collapsed onto Snowflake and rolled off to lay at her side, gasping for breath, eyes closed to keep the stinging sweat from them.

Snowflake dropped into a heap beside Joe, covered in sweat and cum herself, fluids leaking from the gape of her slowly closing marehood as powerful aftershocks rolled through her body. Minutes passed and Joe brought his breathing under control while Snowflake managed to get the muscles from the neck down start listening to her orders. She saw Joe trying to wipe the mix of sweat and cum from his face, but he was only making things worse for himself.

“I’ve got it,” she said, wiping off his face with one of the sacks Joe had positioned as a pillow for her. Joe nodded his thanks, and blinked several times as his vision was cleared.

“Thanks, I really needed that,” Joe said, looking up at Snowflake as she leaned over him. “That was just about the hardest and longest buck of my life. You okay?”

“I...I think so,” Snowflake said, wiggling her hips a little bit and checking her muscles through small movements. “Ya, I think I am. I’m sore, but it’s a good sore, like after a good workout.”

“Good,” Joe said, still lying flat. “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty wiped out. I don’t think we are gonna get out of here tonight.”

“So, what are we gonna do?” Snowflake asked, concern in her voice.

“Wait until the morning shift comes in,” Joe said, eyes closing. “We’ve got a couple of cases of water in here to drink if we need it, and we can always use one of the empty boxes as a latrine if need be.”

“I’m pretty tired too,” Snowflake said, rolling onto her side and folding her wings to spoon in against the larger stallion. “May as well get some sleep until then.”

“May as well,” Joe said, wrapping himself around Snowflake, his eyes drooping with exhaustion. “May as well.”

“Sweet Celestia!” a voice said, from the open doorway. “What the hay happened in here?” Soft Serve looked around at the scene of utter devastation in the storeroom. Boxes and bags were scattered all over the place and the air was heavy and musk filled. He was just about turn around and grab some cleaning supplies when a pile of empty bags near the center of the room moved and shifted.

“Boss?” Soft Serve asked, barely recognizing the disheveled form of his employer as he rose from underneath the covering of bags he had been under. His wonder grew as Donut Joe pulled a lovely delicate white pegasus mare up to her hooves.

“Hey Soft,” Joe said, looking somewhat embarrassed. “This is Bu...Snowflake, this is Snowflake. We were putting away the new inventory and got stuck inside overnight.”

“Stuck inside,” Soft Serve said in a voice that proclaimed his disbelief. “Yeah, well anyway. You two are a mess and so is this room. You gonna help me clean up, boss?”

“Yah,” Joe said, looking himself, Snowflake and the room over. They were all trashed in about equal amounts. “Lemme just run home and get cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”

“Hey Joe, mind if I use your shower too?” Snowflake asked, and Soft Serve let out a small chuckle, which earned him a glare. “It’s not like that, we got sandbagged by a magic bridle.”

“Hey, not judging,” Soft Serve said, holding up a hoof in defence. “Just try not to break him too much as you’re cleaning up. Nice bridle, by the way.” Snowflake put a hoof up to her face, noting that the bridle was still there and still just as locked on as before.

“Damn,” Snowflake said, cursing softly. “I’ll head up to the castle after I get cleaned up. See if somepony there can get this off me.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Joe said, as they walked past a bemused Soft Serve. “Let me know how it goes, okay?”

Three days later, Bulk Biceps still hadn’t come by to see Joe. Neither had a delicate but strong pegasus named Snowflake. So it was with some relief, when on the morning of the fourth day after his storage room romp, he saw the soft feathered form of Snowflake enter his donut shop, still wearing her bridle and drawing most of the male eyes in the room. She sat down at a table and motioned him over with her head.

“Cover for me Soft,” Joe said over his shoulder to his employee, who responded with a knowing smirk. Joe came around the counter and slid into the chair opposite Snowflake, who was toying with a napkin.

“Hey,” Snowflake said with an unreadable expression.

“Hey yourself,” Joe said, a bit of worry on his face. “I’ve been kinda worried about you, and you’re...still a mare. Was the change permanent?”

“Supposedly not,” Snowflake said, and amusement began to touch her eyes. “According to the unicorns at Celestia’s school, the bridle will come off on it’s own and I’ll revert once my condition is resolved.”

“What condition is that?” Joe asked, a suspicion coming over him.

“I’m pregnant,” Snowflake said, with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “Apparently that’s what happens when Donuts come in Bulk.”

Author's Note

So these are the cards I drew for the Crackship Contest..

How did I do?