Why Do We Have Guards?

by All Art Is Quite Useless

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Royal Guard, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6182

Luna has been considering the matter for a while, and she can't put her hoof on why. Confused and irritated, she goes to her sister in search of enlightenment.

Luna has been considering the matter for a while, and she can't put her hoof on why. Confused and growing increasingly irritated, she goes to her sister in search of enlightenment.

Set between the season six finale and A Royal Problem.

Published 2017-10-21 19:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-21 19:20:06 UTC

Why Wouldn't We Have Guards?

Luna's day had been particularly tiring. The dream walking, the lack of sleep the night before, and the long list of menial tasks she had had to accomplish throughout the day were weighing down on her. She couldn't wait to retire for the afternoon. If there was one thing and one thing alone that she knew without a sliver of doubt, it was that she had earnt some well needed relaxation time.

She walked up the corridor to her room, a small smile on her muzzle at the prospect of merely sitting on a cushion for a little while on her balcony, bathing in the warmth of the sun. No matter the difficulties the day had brought her, such a simple thing was within her reach now. Knowing that filled her heart with joy. Perhaps afterwards she could use the royal baths, hire a masseuse and really pamper herself for a few hours. The royal treasury was there to be dipped into, after all.

She turned a corner, the ornate double doors leading to her bedroom in plain sight, and she had to restrain herself from sprinting the last twenty yards, if only because there were hoofmaids and other staff scurrying around busying themselves, and it would be uncouth to do such a thing in their presence. Among the lively procession were two guards, stationed on each side of her bedroom door. Luna managed to stop herself from rolling her eyes, but it was a mammoth task.

Unfortunately, the pair didn't join the cavalcade rushing off to wherever else, and remained rooted in place on either side of her bedroom, as they had been when she left. Luna decided not to acknowledge them, walking straight to her door and raising a hoof to pull down the handle only to find a pair of sharp spears blocking her path.

The cushion on the balcony, the baths, the masseuse... Why were her own guards trying to take her Luna time away? Snarling with a double measure of contempt, she eyed one of the clearly evil ponies so intensely that she was sure his helmet would snap and fall off from the force. "What is the meaning of this? Why will you not let me into my own bedroom?"

Annoyingly, it was the one she wasn't looking at that answered. "Protocol, your highness. We swapped with the last pair stationed here during the day, in that time there was a small window for an intruder to enter. Now that you're here, we need to check to see if there are any abnormalities."

"You did? I'm sorry, you all look the same to me," Luna's face didn't brighten, she found the concept ridiculous. A half second of thought only made the ludicrous nature of their 'check' seem more egregious. "If you have been here since the guard swapped, why have you not checked yourself?"

"Multiple reasons, Princess Luna," the guard stated as if it obvious. "First of all, we didn't have your permission to enter at that time."

"Nor do you now! What made you insinuate that I would allow this?!"

"Well, it's a security measure," the guard continued, his face ever stolid, "and even if we did have your permission in advance, if we were to go inside, there would be nopony guarding the outside, so we wouldn't know if someone was to slip in while we were busy looking for someone that might of might not have already been here."

Luna chose to ignore what she was sure was intentionally confusing wording, she got the idea. "If that's the case, then why couldn't one of you have checked while the other remained outside?"

"Because," the other guard replied, as this section of the handbook was obviously his area of expertise, "there is always the chance that one of us could be ambushed, which is why we must stick together at all times, rather than not be in each other's lines of sight."

All Luna could hear was convoluted rules mixed with incompetence. "Why, pray tell, are two elite royal guards necessary to check a single room? I mean, honestly, all you would have to do is pop your head in, or better yet, leave the doors open!"

"Can't do that either," the second guard solemnly shook his head, "doing that would allow passersby to get an idea of the layout of your bedroom, which could prove valuable in a robbery or assassination attempt."

"Maybe I'd rather be robbed or assassinated than have to deal with this whenever I wish to lay down," Luna mumbled, scraping her hoof against the floor like a bull about to charge past their spears—which were still crossed before the door for reasons unfathomable—and into her room, away from this idiocy.

"What was that, your highness? I'm afraid I didn't hear you."

"Nothing," Luna sighed, grating her teeth, "Look, I've had a very busy, tiring day, and I would appreciate it if I was allowed to retire without further interruption. I understand that you feel compelled to do your job to the best of your ability, and I commend that, but I would rather take my chances with who or whatever may be waiting in my room than deal with you two any longer."

"In that case, we'll perform a quick routine sweep of your bedchambers and be right out of your mane, Princess."

"You're not getting it!" Luna snapped, her voice rising as her wings splayed out, "I do not wish to have my room checked for intruders! I wish to go in there, take a nice comfy pillow, go to my balcony and—"

"The balcony!" both guards announced in unison, looking to each other with a panicked expression apiece. "Why didn't we have anyone from detail operating on the balcony! Any manner of creature could have invaded and we would have been none the wiser!"

Luna let loose a loud groan.

"Don't worry, princess!" the guard to the left bravely announced, puffing up his chest, "we will investigate for any signs of peril forthwith!"

With that, the pair spun around on the spot and crashed through the delicate doors as if they were paper, brandishing about their weapons as if they were preparing to destroy all of her furniture. "Prithee be careful," Luna called after them, feeling the sarcasm pour out of her, "you wouldn't want to be attacked by a rogue assassin!"

The guards said nothing, proceeding to pull out drawers and open wardrobes as they made their way around the room.

Luna felt her privacy being unceremoniously stripped away. She bounded into the room, brandishing her hoof at the pair as her voice became shrill. "What are you doing?! I very much doubt there is an intruder hiding in my bedside table!"

"Quick, Scout, check the bedside table," one of the guards called. "You can't be in here yet, Princess Luna."

"Roger," Scout replied, opening it to find nothing but notepads and other miscellaneous items.

"What do you mean I cannot be in here? Look around you! There's nopony here, a blind pony could see that!"

"We can see that," the guard responded, because he clearly wasn't in any way an imbecile, "but that doesn't mean that nopony was here. We're checking for explosive devices."

"Explosives?" Luna laughed through her scorn, "You're delusional. It would be much simpler for a pony to use a spell to cause me distress, why would they go to the trouble of planting a bomb?"

"That's a good point..." the guard nodded, "Scout! Bring Grendo up here, will you? I want to give this room a full diagnostic for any signs of magical tampering! Good idea, princess."

Luna had to stop herself from punching something: The guard, herself, anything, she was seriously craving a violent release right about then.

"But sir, you said that we weren't meant to leave each other's line of sight, in case an intruder appeared."

"Well that doesn't count right now, does it? Princess Luna is here, and she is much more powerful than I am, so I do not need any backup. If you are fast, you will be with Grendo soon enough that you'll also have someone to look out for you. Which reminds me, Grendo might not have anypony watching him right now, so move fast! You don't want to leave your comrade vulnerable!"

"Yes, sir!" Scout replied, sprinting out of the room in search of the guard that would eventually run a diagnostic on Princess Luna's room to determine whether or not an assassin had managed to break in between the guard shifts and plant a nefarious spell there.

One of the many things the guard had said begot a very good question. "Why do I need guards if you just freely admitted that I am much more powerful than you, and that you could rely on me for protection?"

The guard didn't even blink. "To protect you, of course."

Luna felt her hoof begin to clench. "Why can't I protect myself?"

"Because it's our job."

Luna squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to even look at him any longer. If she didn't humour him, he would surely leave eventually. Him and his companion, and whoever the heck else they were bringing back.

Soon enough, Scout returned, Grendo in tow. Grendo was a thin, brown coated unicorn guard, and spoke with a very peculiar accent. "I am Grendo, your highness," he announced, "I am chief magical expert on duty at this time. I, Grendo, will be conducting a thorough analysis of your bedchambers in search of any abnormalities, your highness."

"I didn't ask," Luna stated.

"Of course you didn't, your highness, but I, Grendo, felt it would be fitting to inform you anyway, your highness."

"Would you, Grendo, like to hurry it up a little?" Luna asked, feeling a twitch in her forehead, "I, Luna, have things I wish to do before the day is out." Even mocking him didn't alleviate her stress.

Luna chose to sit on the floor, petulantly staring at Grendo as he cast an overly complicated spell that she was sure could have been executed ten times as efficiently by her in half the time.

Some minutes later, the garish glow from his horn faded, and he began to shake his head. "I, Grendo, was unable to find any foreign patterns during my search, your highness. Would you like Grendo to inform a senior officer, so they can run a more comprehensive scan, your highness?"

"No bloody way," Luna spat. The words had been instinctual, she knew her entire spirit had latched on to the element of choice his words had given her, and by the heavens she was going to cling to it with every fibre of her being, now that she had it. "You have made your scans, I believe we can conclude that my bedroom is indeed safe. Now, if you would please, I would like to prepare for a bath."

"A bath, princess?" the guard that had stayed with her began, glancing cautiously into the corridor. "I will arrange an escort."

"You will do no such thing!" Luna had seriously had enough, this was becoming ridiculous. "What is your name, soldier? I have half a mind to report you to your commander for insubordination right now."

"Sergeant Insistent, your highness."

Somehow, Luna knew he was completely serious. "Please leave," she said, gesturing to the door, "and let it be known that I will not require an escort anywhere unless I specifically request one. Is that clear?"

"But, princess, I must insist—"

"Are you attempting to be coy, sergeant?" Luna growled, taking a step towards the incessantly asinine trio. To their credit, not one of them flinched.

"I, Grendo, understand, your highness. We will let it be known that you are to be specifically asked whether you would like an escort whenever the guard feels you may want one."

Before Luna could respond, they were gone. That was a result, she reasoned. At least this way, she wouldn't be followed wherever she went. She made a mental note to talk to whoever was in charge of their regiment as soon as possible, in hope that she could do something about the stringent safety process the guards seemed to have very suddenly started employing.

That wasn't to say that the guards had never been overbearing up until now, many times, in fact, but this instance had been something special in its severity. If Luna had to deal with another situation like that, she just might explode.

Still, it wasn't worth dwelling on. Luna decided that it was time to draw a bath and forget about the whole ordeal, maybe hold off on the masseuse until she had calmed down a little, though. She didn't feel like she could safely be around other ponies at the moment.

Since the bedroom incident two days ago, Luna was glad to say that there hadn't been a repeat. Guards still remained stationed outside her room, and now—to her annoyance—on her balcony, but they didn't insist on ridiculous checks every time she wished to enter or leave. Also, she hadn't had to deal with Sergeant Insistent since, whose name she still couldn't get over.

The unfortunate flip side was that Grendo had kept infuriatingly true to his words. In the last two days, guards had approached her asking whether or not she required an escort at least twenty times, often outlining the reasons that it had been decided that she might need an escort at that precise moment. They ranged from intel that suggested a pony with a potential grudge in Canterlot had said something rude about her to the recent release of a serial vandal from a correctional facility in Manehatten.

Luna didn't know what was worse, the constant overbearing attention she received from the guards, or the fact that she almost wished someone would attack. That way, she could either prove that she wasn't in need of any assistance when handling a threat, or be put out of her steadily growing misery. Her would be assassin might even be doing her a favour, in all honesty.

Luna was suddenly sat in a quaint cafe in the south of Canterlot, a local place owned by a rather sweet old married couple. The cafe was reasonably popular, but at the same time it was situated on a side street away from the central plaza, so it rarely saw much activity in the afternoon. The owners had grown accustomed to Luna, and didn't dote over her like they did in many establishments, which she was more thankful for than they would ever realise. Sometimes, it was nice to just be treated like a normal pony, and with only a single stallion sitting at another table, who had barely looked at her, she felt like just that.

Luna nibbled at a croissant, aware that small flakes of pastry were getting stuck in the fur beneath her bottom lip, but not caring either way. What fun was there in eating food carefully? Brushing her chin, she allowed the rebellious flakes to return to their plate, lucky enough not to be devoured. Finishing her frappe with a long slurp, she stood to bid the owners farewell, before realising that she was in need of the bathroom.

She spoke with the couple, on one hoof fully aware that she needed to go, and on the other not wishing to cut the conversation short. After smiling and nodding at them for about a minute, she finally managed to voice her request, asking for directions to the bathroom.

She didn't make it more than three steps inside before the stallion that had been sitting adjacent flashed his horn, and behind her she heard a steadily gaining thunder of hooves. Luna turned to peer at the stallion, her bladder's whine forgotten amidst the absurdity of the situation. "What did you just do?"

"Signaled for reinforcements, your highness." the pony returned matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me?" Luna asked, genuinely confused. "Who are you, exactly?"

"Plain clothes operative," the pony replied, nonchalant in his delivery. "A team will be with you shortly."

"A team?" Luna repeated, incredulous, "A team for what?"

"Safety appraisal, we don't know whether the bathroom facilities in this area are safe, we need to confirm that."

Luna could feel herself beginning to physically shake as half a dozen armoured guards arrived outside, pouring into the store. "Why are you even here?!"

"Please, your highness, lower your tone. You're scaring the owners."

Hearing this, Luna took a stance between the disguised guard and the owners, as if to protect them, "No, you are scaring them!" Spinning around, she saw that the husband had wrapped a hoof around his shaking wife, pulling her tight, "I am so, so sorry, I can assure you this will never happen again."

"It's quite alright, princess," the husband returned in a fragile voice, "I understand. I just don't know why your guards would think that me or my wife would ever try to harm you."

"Not you two," the guard cut in, "an assassin could have been in your shop earlier."

"An assassin?!" The husband had to catch his wife in his frail hooves as she almost fainted with the utterance.

"Do you see what you have done?!" Luna bellowed, her eyes darkening, "You have terrified these poor ponies! And for what? To see if there is an evil criminal lurking and waiting for me in this simple little cafe's toilet?"

"It may seem innocuous, your highness, but these are often the places that a pony would choose to strike—"

"Why are you even here?! Have you been tailing me without my permission?"

"You told a member of the guard yourself, your highness, you said that we should always be available to you, should you wish to request an escort. As such, we follow you closely to look for signs that you might need one."

As if by magic, Grendo broke off from the six guards standing around the bathroom door at that precise moment and came to stand with the four of them. Facing the couple, he gave his version of a reassuring smile. "Have no fear! I, Grendo, am chief reassurance officer on duty at this time, sir and madam. Would you like to ask Grendo any questions?"

"I would," Luna growled, "Why is it that I can't so much as take a piss without somepony from the royal guard assuming that the toilet is either an ambush zone or a booby trap? This is quickly becoming more than tiresome."

"Your highness," Grendo said in his odd voice, "we are charged to ensure your safety, and I, Grendo, will ensure that it is done to the best of our abilities. Then, we will make ourselves scarce, your highness."

"Don't even bother with the honorific. You already treat me like a foal and refuse to listen to me, I feel like your princess in no way whatsoever."

"But Grendo will always refer to your highness as 'your highness', your highness."

Luna stifled a scream. Somewhere between the urge resurfacing in her bladder, the ceaseless Grendoing of Grendo, and the squad of troops currently ransacking the bathroom while one tested the seat, the only thing stopping her from making any more of a scene was the owners, who she was sure would prefer she didn't return after all of this, although they were far too kind to say such a thing outright.

Luna had lost her new favourite cafe, her last shred of privacy, her right to use the bathroom, and a small piece of her sanity, but at least she felt 'protected' as a result, right?

"I need to talk to my sister," Luna said to a pair of guards standing outside Celestia's bedroom door.

"Please confirm that you are in fact Princess Luna," the guard responded instantly.

"Fine," Luna sighed, "the last time I visited my sister in a dream, she dreamt of being a pegasus owning a carrot farm."

"Please wait while we authenticate that answer," the guard replied.

"No. You will let me see my sister, or I will remove you. I am becoming sick of this so called 'protocol'." With that said, she pushed the door open with a hoof, Celestia in plain sight on the other side, reading a large book.

The guards rushed to block the way, but Celestia called out to let her through, and they obeyed her without question.

Her eyes never seemed to leave her book. Luna received a smile as she entered, but she couldn't tell whether Celestia was actually paying her any attention or if she was still absorbed in what she was reading. "Hello, Luna," she said, a simple greeting in a perfectly calm voice, "what's up?"

Luna wasted no time in finding somewhere comfortable to sit. For the first time in days, she felt as if she wasn't burdened with a score of watching eyes, and the relief she gained from that was immense. Maybe they were still being monitored, somehow, but at least Celestia would have to share in it. "What's up is that I have felt the guards to be particularly overbearing for the last week or so. They were not such an issue, before, but in over two years I have never seen them fuss so much over me as they have recently."

"Are you not gladdened by it?" Celestia asked, her eyes still fixed on her book as her tail swished to and fro, "They are awfully devoted to their work."

"Too devoted," Luna grumbled, "And I feel like it begs a pretty big question. Why do we actually have guards?"

"All sorts of reasons," Celestia replied by instinct, "ceremonial purposes, escorts, to maintain a presence of authority in the city—"

"Specifically our own royal guards," Luna specified, "the ones that are meant to protect us."

"Well, surely the reason for their presence is quite obvious?"

"It cannot be for protection," Luna laughed, "I have seen them working. Half of them are bumbling idiots, the other half are just infuriating. One sergeant admitted that I was vastly superior to him in terms of power, if that is the case than what reason is there for him to protect me? Anything he could defeat, I could likely blow away with a flick of my hoof."

"You do realise that there is more to it than physical power, yes?" Celestia briefly glanced up to her before returning to her book.

"Yes, I'm sure there is, but answer me this: When have the royal guard ever actually done anything? Or any of the guards, for that matter? When I returned as Nightmare Moon, where were your guards? When Discord attacked, or Tirek, or even Sombra, what use were guards? Even when we were both trapped by the corrupted Tree of Harmony, the guards did nothing but inform Twilight Sparkle. Twilight and her friends have been our saviours in each of these instances, yet for some reason that I cannot quite comprehend, we walk around with these stoic ponies that act as if they can defeat any threat that might come within a thousand feet of us! It's almost like dealing with children."

"And have you not considered that the image they present in doing so is likely enough to scare off a lot of would be assailants? I realise that the guard would not have been practical in any of the instances you outlined, but for the more common threat, they are what is necessary. Or rather, what should be the more common threat."

"If that's the case, where are Twilight's guards? She is a princess too, and considering what an asset she is, shouldn't she have her own? If they were as useful as you suggest, Twilight wouldn't live in a castle alone."

"Twilight lives with one of the most accomplished spellcasters of this generation, and is constantly surrounded by her five best friends, who are also capable heroes. We do not have this privilege. Without our staff, we would only have each other to rely on. Plus, you know that Twilight wishes to appear as accessible, walking around a small village like Ponyville with a battalion at her beck and call would probably just serve to intimidate the ponies surrounding her. As heads of state, our positions are a little different."

Luna tutted at this, walking straight past her sister and over to her wardrobe, separated from the rest of the room by colourful hanging drapes. "They ransacked my room recently. Looking out for us is all well and good, but see how you like it when they're pulling knee high socks out of your wardrobe and checking them for curses, downright embarrassing."

"Trust me," Celestia laughed, tearing her gaze from her book, "they found far worse in my bedroom than a few socks." Holding her gaze for a moment, she began to chuckle, "They're guards, Luna, they don't care about what we have in our rooms! They're merely looking out for us, and it would be silly to not allow them to do their job."

"But they don't even do their job effectively! They can't even function alone, they have to do everything in pairs!"

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "You don't think that is intelligent? Royal guards potentially have to face threats to their lives every single day, if you were a fragile mortal likely to perish at any point, would you not see the value of teamwork?"

"But why do such, erm, delicate ponies protect us, when we are so powerful that our protectors can scarcely fathom our strength?"

"How self-assured are you, sister?" Celestia asked, looking directly at Luna, "How confident are you in your power?"

"Very much so, of course," Luna responded.

"And there is the issue," Celestia smirked, going back to her book, "we have lived for so long, our bodies are so resilient, we are hesitant to believe that anything could even harm us, let alone kill us. That mentality could eventually be our undoing. As such, we have surrounded ourselves with ponies that know what it is to fear for their lives, that instinctively fight danger or run from it depending on the severity, rather than assuming that they can survive anything the world throws at them. By having ponies so savvy around us, we avoid threats we wouldn't even consider to check for."

"Such as scanning our rooms for harmful spells," Luna nodded, thinking back to the instance that had started all of this. "It had seemed almost ridiculous at the time, and I knew that I could have done the same thing twice as quickly, but I must admit, I wouldn't have thought to do so alone. Still, the chances of something having been left in my room, or someone attempting to attack right then still seem so obscure, I wonder if there was any point in looking."

"It is better to leave no stone unturned, I think."

"There are limits," Luna said, her eyebrows straightening, "recently, I went back to the small cafe in the south district."

"Oh, the one owned by the cute older couple you told me about!" Celestia smiled warmly, flipping a page, "Do go on."

"I was followed by an undercover squad."

"I see."

"Who then proceeded to burst into the building in order to check the place for danger. All seven of them, the plain clothes pony included. It scared the hell out of the owners, but they tried their best to be polite."

"That is... regrettable," Celestia sighed, "and perhaps a little over the top, but please understand that these ponies are only trying to do you a service."

"You defend them so readily," Luna said, her voice raising, "have you put them up to this? Is this your idea of a joke?"

Celestia finally gave Luna her full attention, her book snapping shut with a sound of finality. "In a sense, yes, I authorised a couple of requests, but no specifics were given. Is it a joke, you ask? Anything but a joke. What is a joke is the fact that we—and I refer to myself also—have become so arrogant in our strength that we do not believe any of this to be necessary. Tell me something, Luna: in all of our power, were we able to spot Chrysalis when she impersonated our niece?"

"No, it was Twilight Sparkle who—"

"Forget Twilight. Think about it: Whose spell repelled the changeling armies?"

"Shining Armour's spell, of course."

"Captain Shining Armour. A royal guard did something I could not that day, for Chrysalis had already defeated me. And who fought the changelings in the streets that day? Brave guards of Canterlot. You were still in bed, if I recall."

"Alright, yes," Luna shrugged her withers, "I will admit that their presence was of use on the day of Chrysalis's attack, but that was a spectacular occasion."

"There are no spectacular occasions anymore," Celestia elucidated, her face deadly serious. "In the last few years, we have had to contend with enemies and creatures with a plethora of evil and terrible powers, and they appear to be in no short supply. Chrysalis has recently sworn revenge on a member of our kingdom, and you wish to say that her attacking is spectacular? I wouldn't be surprised if it became a frequent occurrence. Which reminds me," Celestia's eyes narrowed, "on the day that Chrysalis kidnapped us both, where were you?"

"W-well," Luna stuttered, "I hardly see how that is relevant—"

"Just humour me."

"Alright, well... I had just left the baths, and there were no towels on the rack, despite me distinctly remembering placing two there. I went to the storage room to grab more, and I was knocked unconscious."

"I was sat in my room, burning some incense and listening to a vinyl, my eyes closed, in a state of perfect calm, and then the next thing I knew, I was miles away, being dragged to Chrysalis's castle. Do you know what our kidnappings have in common?"

Luna thought she had caught on, but knew it was best to hear it from her sister regardless. "Go on?"

"We both didn't expect anything to happen," Celestia responded, and Luna knew it to be true. "Not only that, but neither of us had anyone around to look out for us, and the thing is, it wasn't because they never tried to be there, it was because on multiple occasions, we must have told them that their presence wasn't necessary. In the lead up to the Summer Sun Celebration when we were captured by the Tree of Harmony, we didn't have any guards with us then, either. If we had, and one of them had managed to inform Twilight, disaster would have been much more likely to have been averted."

"Sister, I understand what you're saying, but—"

Celestia's voice became increasingly vague. "Each time we have gone missing, or our lives have been endangered, it has been a highly unlikely event that has saved us. With the tree, it was Twilight, her friends, and Discord. When Chrysalis attacked, it was Shining Armour. When we were taken to Chrysalis' palace, it was Starlight Glimmer and Discord again that saved us, even during the Crystalling, if it had not been for my old student Sunburst, we would have surely frozen to death. You know all of this to be true, can you not see by now that we aren't always as safe as we believe ourselves to be?"

"Yes, I see that too, Celestia, I really do, but I worry that this may be a little too much, it feels—"

"I don't want to lose you," Celestia softly remarked, looking to the floor, "and don't tell me that it wouldn't happen, because it has before and there are no guarantees. Maybe you consider it to be overbearing and it angers you, maybe you feel mollycoddled, but it's what the guards have always wanted to be able to do, and not only have I began to realise just why that is necessary, but the fact that they are so willing and eager to put that much effort into defending us? I believe we would be taking them for granted if we were to refuse their service."

"Honestly, I hadn't considered it like that before," Luna admitted, thinking back to her recent interactions, "I assumed they were only so insistent because that's what they're paid to be like, I never thought that it came from a genuine place of concern."

"Luna, some of those guards are the fifth or even tenth generation of royal guard in their family. Some of their ancestries date back to even before your banishment, and through all of that, these ponies have remained loyal to us both, they will always care about us." When Celestia spoke, it was with a deep pride and respect. "You have seen how seriously they take their jobs. Perhaps it annoys you at times, perhaps there are occasions in which you would rather be left to your own devices than have to deal with them, but forever is a long time for us, and there are many who might seek to snuff it out. Forever isn't so long for our guards, but they are still willing to spend that small amount of time they have in this world helping to ensure that we have our eternity. For that, and for that alone, they deserve our attention, and our respect."

Luna looked out at the opulent tiling on the walls, surrounding the marble tub on each side. The tub was currently filling with a rich, foamy water, bubbling and hissing from the warmth as the contents swayed from side to side, the cool blue a stark contrast with the heat of the water. Her fur was currently matted from a long, exhausting flight, and a few of her wing feathers were twisted and out of place. She looked a little grumpy, what with the small frown on her lips, and she honestly couldn't wait to finally get in her bath.

Just as it had finished running, she twisted the tap with her magic—stopping the flow of water—and removed her metal shoes, ready to dip a hoof in. Just as she felt the steam tantalising the edge of her hoof, opening her pores, a loud crash sounded, and the doors opposite her burst open, causing Luna to jump backwards in alarm.

"Your highness!" a unicorn stallion scrambled in, "I, Grendo, will test the heat of your bath for you, your highness!"

Luna felt a small smile begin to tug at her lips. "Thank you, Grendo. Thank you very much."

"It is Grendo's pleasure, your highness!" Grendo smiled, lifting a hoof before fearlessly dipping it inside. He swished it around for a little while, as if trying to appraise the water, which drew a soft giggle from Luna, then finally, when satisfied, removed it. "This is good bath, your highness!"

"We've been over this," Luna laughed, "You can just call me 'Luna'."

"Of course, Luna, your highness." Grendo responded, blinking once.

"Oh, I give up," she smirked, climbing into the water. "Would you like me to draw you a bath after I'm finished? I feel you deserve it after your hard work."

"No, no! Grendo has lots to do! Another time, your highness."

"Well, I'll be sure to keep you to that," Luna grinned, laying back and allowing herself to soak in the calming waters as she slowly closed her eyes. "And Grendo, one other thing!"

"Yes, your highness?"

"Be sure to arrange an escort for me, if you could? I am heading into town later and I would like a guard or two to accompany me."

"I am surprised you are happy to ask, your highness, this is the first time you have requested guard, your highness. Are you sure, your—"

"Yes, yes, I'm quite insistent."

"You are not Insistent!" Grendo shouted, pointing a hoof, "Insistent is sergeant, you are princess!" A second passed, and Grendo let out a small, sharp gasp. "You must be changeling! Grendo will defeat you!"

With that, Grendo let loose a battle cry and leapt into the bath. Luna was in a fit of giggles as she desperately tried to explain to her confused saviour exactly what she had meant, using her wings to splash at him so she could dodge his advances. Eventually, Grendo calmed down, and she managed to reassure him that she was in fact Princess Luna. Still, the implications of that scenario stayed with her. Grendo was a small and thin stallion, and from his accent, Luna had to assume he wasn't originally a local. Even so, he had been willing to put his life on the line just then to protect the castle and the princesses from what very well could have been Queen Chrysalis in disguise, all at the drop of a hat.

Luna considered herself very lucky to have ponies like Grendo by her side.