Equestria Wing-Girls

by Ahsoifhsdoifhsoi

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 7 (EqG), Slice of Life, Human, Romance, Anon, Second Person, Comedy, Equestria Girls
Length: 7713

With the Winter Ball fast approaching, the girls take you out to a local club to find you a date.

You were never one for going out of your way for relationships. You always believed that when it happened, it happened. You'd know when the right one came along, that kind of thing. However, the annual Canterlot High Winter Ball is approaching, and it would be uncouth of you not to have a date. At least that's how Rarity put it.

You reiterate that you're fine, that you don't need the help, but the girls won't listen. So here you are, standing in a club with 7 wing-girls who won't take no for an answer. At least the odds are in your favour, right?

--
Authors note: I've been sitting on this idea of a story for about 3-4 years now, so the canon of this story is probably waaay out by now, and my knowledge of EQG was always cloudy at best. It's also my first attempt at anything longer than a few paragraphs. Enjoy it for the cluster-flip it is.

Published 2020-04-01 22:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-01 22:20:01 UTC

Girls Know Best

"I'm really not sure about this, girls. Honestly, I'm fine!"

Your protests fall upon deaf ears as you're pushed through the doors of the club. The offenders being your friends, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. You were more than up for a night of cutting loose in the club, but the girls had other ideas.

"Nonsense, Anon. We said we'll help find you a girl, and that's what we shall do." Rarity says, an air of confidence about her. Confidence which you do not share. Apparently, the girls thought you needed a date for the formal, and this was the night to help hook you up with someone. Unbeknownst to you, of course.

"Rarity, I just want to enjoy myself tonight. I appreciate the thought, but c'mon, just leave it." you plead. However, Rarity just folds her arms and frowns, as do the rest of the girls.

"Please, Anonymous, you can trust us," Rarity says, giving you a puppy dog expression "You can at least let us try. Just this night, please?" It's hard to say no to Rarity when she's acting like this. You gaze around the club, gaining some perspective. The place is packed. What would make someone like you stand out in a place like this?

"I'm still not comfortable with this," you retort, folding your arms in defiance. "What makes you think I have a chance here?" Rarity frowns at you, but quickly changes to a smile.

"Oh, Anon, you sell yourself short. I'm sure you'll find a wonderful girl here." Rarity beams. She obviously has faith in you, but you're not entirely convinced. The fact that you're best friends with seven girls, yet you've dated none speaks volumes.

"Yeah, c'mon Anon! There are plenty of girls here, you're bound to find someone" Dash speaks up, gaining nods from the rest of the group. Rainbow might be right, but you think to yourself for a moment. Rainbow doesn't really have any ground to stand on here, she's single too. How can she rag on you for being single, yet not get into the fray herself?

"What about you?" you reply. Rainbow turns to you, a shocked expression and wide eyes greeting you as she does.

"What!?" she gasps.

"What about you? You're not with a guy, yet we aren't on a hunt to find you someone!" you retort. Rainbow removes the shock from her expression, but a light amount of redness still remains on her cheeks.

"Ohhh... don't change the subject, dude," she stammers, looking anywhere but at you, before finally giving you a confident look "Besides, I bet I could find a guy here without any help!" She then looks around the venue before locking her sights at something or someone at the bar. "Don't wait for me, girls. Have a good night, Anon. I know I will." And with that, Rainbow takes off towards the bar, dissolving into the large crowd gathered there. Rarity glares in her direction and sighs.

"Typical Rainbow Dash...and she's meant to be the loyal one..." she shakes her head before turning to you. "Anyways, I stand by what we said. You'll be leaving here with a fine girl on your arm, we promise." Rarity gives you a warm smile. They really aren't going to let this go, are they? You glance around the room once more, spotting a few attractive looking girls. The girls you're with seem to know a lot of people, maybe they can get you in with someone. Maybe it'll get them to stop bothering you. You sigh, before continuing.

"Sure, whatever."

A Tricky Introduction

The girls ferry you further into a club, as you all pile around a small table. The club is laid out fairly ordinarily, with large booths lining the walls and smaller standing tables near the entrance, while the dancefloor and bar lie opposite the door, on the far end of the building. The club is lightly illuminated by the constant strobing lights, covering the surfaces for brief moments, before moving on.

You snap out of your daydream and glance over to the girls, sans-Rainbow Dash, who seem to be conspiring, talking amongst themselves, only to go quiet when looking at you, then going back to talking. If their goal was to make you uncomfortable, they've nailed it. You regret not taking your dad's hip flask, you don't think a cola will prepare you for what seems to be in store. Finally, the girls remove themselves from their huddle, as Rarity approaches you.

"We've agreed it's best to take it in turns to help you, Anon. We don't want to overwhelm you, do we?" Rarity giggles, as your expression does not change from its pure indifference.

"Let's just get this over with." you reply, as the feeling of a hand on your shoulder makes you jump. Turning around, you're met by the grinning face of Pinkie Pie.

"I'm first, Anon! I've got the perfect girl for you, follow me!" Apparently that was a command, not a suggestion, as Pinkie grabs you by the arm and drags you towards the dancefloor. You shoot a worried look to the rest of the girls, who return simple smiles, then begin talking amongst themselves. This is meant to be for your benefit, not their's.

If you weren't in such a weird situation, you'd be more impressed by Pinkie's strength. For a girl who you've never seen at the gym once, she's got some power to drag you across the room as she's doing. Instead, you focus on fearing for what Pinkie has in store. She's friends with pretty much everyone in school, so this really is pot luck. But Pinkie knows you, and if she knows everyone else, she should find you someone good, right? Yeah! You continue to convince yourself as Pinkie suddenly stops dead, almost causing you to fall on your face. Pinkie stands aside, allowing you to get a good view of her pick for you.

"Hey, Trixie. This is my friend, Anon. Anon, this is Trixie!" Pinkie beams, before allowing you to stare awkwardly at each other. You know Trixie. She's a pretty girl, but a bit...intense? That's one word for it. But hey, she could be nice. You give her a smile, as she returns it, albeit slightly awkwardly. Pinkie's smile eclipses both of yours, however, as she admires her work.

"See, I knew you'd get on great! I'll leave you two to it." Pinkie says, covertly nudging you in the side as she walks off into the crowded dancefloor. As you look at Trixie, you notice she's looking around, anywhere at you. Maybe she's embarrassed, or even shy. Whatever the case, you should probably say something before you lose her.

"So, this place is pretty busy tonight." you ask, as calm as you can be in the moment. Trixie glances at you for a moment, before continuing her scanning of the room.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie agrees." she replies, not casting her eyes back at you. There's that intensity. It's clear small talk is going to get you nowhere, you might as well go for it.

"I was wondering if you wanna dance or som-" your invitation is cut off by a guy you don't recognize, approaching with two drinks, as he hands one to Trixie.

"Hey Trix," he begins, putting his arm around her, giving off pretty strong signals. "Who's your friend?" Trixie gives you an awkward look, before turning the new guy.

"Just a friend from school. Come on, let's dance." she says, as the two move off further into the dancefloor, before they meet with a kiss. That's the last time you put your faith in Pinkie.

Speaking of the devil, a tuft of unmistakable puffy hair appears out of a crowd, as Pinkie Pie makes her way towards you, confusion upon her face.

"Where's Trixie, Anon? Did something go wrong? she asks, concerned. You do your best to keep your cool, but a frustrated sigh manages to find it's way from your mouth.

"Well, it might have helped if you didn't set me up with someone who has a boyfriend already!" you fume, pointing out Trixie dancing very closely to the guy who interrupted you. Pinkie looks at them for a second, before turning with a look of realization.

"Ohhhh, they're dating. I just thought they were just really, really, really good friends," Pinkie dwells on the thought for a second, before realizing your mood is still unchanged. "Sorry, Anon," she rubs the back of her head in embarrassment, before letting out a small laugh. "One down, I guess?"

You often find it's hard to stay mad at Pinkie, as you find yourself cracking a wry smile towards the apologetic girl.

"Yep, only five to go."

A Dazzling Date

After the previous altercation, you feel like relaxing a little. The girls may be out trying to help you, but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself a little. You scan the room to see if you can spot anyone you recognize, but between the pulsing lights, it's hard to make out any features. Not that you have too many other friends to speak of at Canterlot High. You're not a loner by any means, just most people there are a bit...off. Like they're stereotypical characters just made to fill roles. The jocks are sports-loving meatheads, the nerds are weedy know-it-all's and everyone else kind of falls into the background. The girls are the only people who seem to actually, well, be people.

Speaking of the girls, Rarity emerges from a crowd of people, then immediately turns your way as she spots you.

"Hello, Anon! How's it going so far?" she quizzes, the lights revealing the polite smile she wears so well. You cringe a little in response.

"Well, Pinkie's choice of girl for me was a bit of a bust. She tried setting me up with Trixie, and she's already got a boyfriend." you reply, as Rarity rolls her eyes.

"That's Pinkie Pie for you. I swear that girl doesn't think before she does anything!" Rarity laughs, before focusing her attention on you, her eyes almost shining. "But I've found a girl worthy of your time." She grabs you by the arm and beckons you towards the bar, but you resist.

"C'mon, Rarity. I've just been speaking with Pinkie, can I not have a break first?" you complain, as Rarity huffs.

"Girls don't like to be kept waiting, Anonymous," Rarity scolds. "Besides, you'll have plenty of time to relax once I've gotten you acquainted. So are you in?" Rarity looks at you, expectantly. You can tell she's not going to let this go. You sigh in defeat.

"Do I even have a choice? C'mon, take me to her." you reply flatly, as Rarity takes your arm and leads you through a crowd, towards the bar.

Rarity pushes through the crowd, until the two of you reach the bar, stopping right in front of of a yellow-skinned girl with large, puffy hair. You'd recognize her anywhere, that's-

"Anon, this is Adagio." Rarity smiles, as Adagio looks up from her drink and stares at you, deep into your eyes. You feel the room around you swirl and spin, as you hear a faint but beautiful singing ring around you. Adagio remains the only thing in focus, allowing you to appreciate her beauty. Her skin almost begins to glow, as you continue to gaze at her. With each second, you notice more about her. Her immaculate beauty, her perfect form. This girl is without doubt the most beautiful you've seen in your life. You simply can't take your eyes off her.

"Adagio, stop that!" You faintly hear Rarity's voice as the world slowly starts to return to normal around you. "If I tell Twilight you're abusing your magic again, she'll take it back for good!" Your thoughts become your own once again as things start taking focus. You pant heavily, staring wide-eyed at Adagio, who simply giggles.

"I was just saying hello," she says, looking you up and down, examining you. "Anonymous, right?" You snap your attention back to the room, not to get caught up into her tricks again. And you thought Trixie was intense...

"Uh, yeah." you utter, still grasping what on earth just happened to you. Rarity notices your issue, and steps in for you.

"Me and the girls are helping Anon here socialize, and I thought you might like to get to know him." Rarity intervenes, cautiously glancing over to you to make sure you're okay. Adagio ponders Rarity's proposal for a second.

"Hm, I don't know. It depends if Anon has what it takes to hang with someone like me." Adagio confidently responds, turning to you, awaiting a response. All eyes are on you, as you form a reply. Adagio is an intense and confident girl, so she'd want someone who's confident in return. That's all you have to do, be confident.

"Of course I have what it takes," you reply, flashing Adagio a cool look. "If you've got what it takes to hang with me." Adagio gives a cocky smile, as you notice Rarity look away from you both, her face twisted a little. You didn't sound that bad, right? Suddenly, two girls emerge from out of nowhere, flanking Adagio. The two of them appearing catches you off guard, and causes you to flinch a little. You recognize the two as Adagio's friends, Aria and Sonata. The three girls giggle in unison, as the two new girls respond.

"But do you think you can hang with us?" Their voice sends a chill down your spine. Something about the three girls together puts you on edge. You try to find a reply, but your voice catches itself in your throat. After a few moments, Adagio interjects.

"I thought not. Good try, though." she says, as the girls walk past you and Rarity and disappear somewhere else in the club. You and Rarity take a moment to let the events sink in, before you turn to her, a your voice a tone of disbelief tinged with anger.

"Adagio Dazzle? The Dazzlings? That was your idea of a 'perfect girl' for me?" you ask, your eyes still wide in shock. Rarity fumbles around her words for a second before responding.

"I-I...I thought you'd want something a bit different, you can't blame me for trying." Rarity defends herself before adopting a more snooty look. "Although, I thought you could have handled the situation a little better, personally." Rarity quips, is if condescendingly so.

'Could have handled the situation better!?' What did she expect dropping you in front of a girl with pseudo mind-controlling powers!?

"I don't think I was ready for something like that," you admit, your expression and mannerisms calming. "I think I'd like some time to relax now, please." Rarity opens her mouth to interject, but thinks better of it. She simply gives you a short hug before departing off into the club. Maybe now you can have some time to yourself and enjoy a drink. You turn towards the bar and attempt to flag down a member of staff. However, you feel a soft tapping on your shoulder. This just won't end, will it?

You're So Vain

You turn around, suppressing a groan, to be faced by Fluttershy, a typical nervous look upon her face. She stares at you, readying her sentence.

"I saw how things went with Rarity just now, I'm sorry that happened," she begins, her soft tone barely detectable above the pulsating music of the venue. "But I know someone who'll really like you. Follow me," Fluttershy perks up, before defaulting to her usual meek persona. "Um, if you want to, that is." You face an internal battle in your mind. You're striking nought for two currently, and you could do with a break. But Fluttershy is probably the person you'd trust the most right now. If someone is a friend of Fluttershy, you can count on them being nice. You don't really have much to lose at this point. You return a light smile to her.

"Sure, Flutters, take me to her." With that, Fluttershy perks up once again, taking your hand and leading you towards one of the booths lining the edges of the club. Like Pinkie, Fluttershy can be surprisingly forceful when she wants, not what you expected at all.

You eventually arrive at a booth, with Fluttershy taking a seat in the middle. You can't quite make out your new match, the strobing lights currently illuminating a different part of the club. Something smells weird over here, though. You follow Fluttershy's lead and take a seat in the booth, opposite of the girl Fluttershy has set you up with. You look across, seeing who she has set you up wi-

"Oh."

Thankfully, your reaction wasn't heard by either girl. There aren't two girls opposite you, although she certainly makes up for the lack of another one. You never considered yourself a superficial person, but you have your limits, and what sits opposite you goes above and beyond those. The girl almost takes up the entire side of the booth, slouched back against the leather. You can hear her nasally breathing across the distance of the table, and make out the many red spots around her face. You also confirm the source of the smell, a foul sweat odor emanating from the girl's side of the booth.

"Anon, this is Daisy Meadows. Daisy, this is Anon." Fluttershy proudly announces, as a smile crosses Daisy's face, showing her discouloured teeth. You can only imagine the name is a cruel piece of irony.

"Nice to meet you!" you respond, almost on autopilot, before knocking Fluttershy in the side, gaining her attention. You stare daggers at her from the corner of your eye. "Fluttershy...What. The. Hell!?" you whisper, being careful not to offend. You see Fluttershy fidget slightly, before shyly responding.

"I know...I know...but Daisy is a lovely girl. And I thought with you really wanting a date, this could work!" You sigh, keeping your voice low to ensure you're not heard.

"I'm sure she is lovely to talk to, but I'm sorry, she's...just not my type." you whisper, as Fluttershy looks a bit more determined.

"Could you just give it a try?" she pleads. She's really not letting this go, is she? Time to be a bit more direct.

"C'mon, Fluttershy, she smells like she hasn't washed in weeks!" you whisper as ferociously as possible. Fluttershy just looks at you, disapprovingly.

"That's rude, Anon." she says, bluntly. Is Fluttershy just immune to smell or something? She's giving you no outs here. Fluttershy starts talking to Daisy, as you look around the room, desperate for a lifeline. As if by fate, you notice a friend of yours, Normal Norman pass in front of the booth. You waste no time in getting his attention.

"Hey, Norman! Good to see you!" Norman quickly turns towards you, as you spring up to greet him.

"Hey Anon, what're you doing here?" he quizzes. You respond with a roll of your eyes.

"It's a long story, trust me," you begin, before stepping aside from the booth. "The girls have been trying to get me a date, I just got off the back of one. Let's just say she wasn't for me..." you trail off, before focusing your attention on Norman. "But I think you'd love her! She's just in that booth over there, go and say hi!" you quickly say, ushering Norman towards the booth. Norman acts surprised at first, but returns a smile.

"Wow, setting me up with someone this quickly, you're a real bro, Anon!" he quips, as you return the fakest smile you've ever pulled. As Norman takes a seat at the booth, you quickly disappear into the first crowd of people you can find. You owe him for that one, but you'll deal with that later.

After the initial adrenaline of escaping the situation dies, you feel like having some time alone. The girls are going to kill you at this rate. Looking around the club, you spot an illuminated sign for the toilets. Perfect, the girls can't get you in the men's, you can just hide there for a bit and wait until they get bored of looking for you.

You sneak towards the light, looking around constantly, checking for any signs of the girls. Thankfully, the coast seems clear. You sneak ever closer, until the door is just a few meters in front. You make a dash for it, but in your haste, end up colliding with someone.

"Ow! Watch where you're going, you b-" a familiar voice complains, before shifting to a calmer tone. "Oh hi, Anon! I was just looking for you!" The unmistakable voice of Sunset Shimmer causes your heart to drop. You look at her, only to be greeted by an enthusiastic smile. You think you know what's coming next.

"I saw what happened with the other girls, and they're going about this all wrong," Sunset quips, gazing around the club, before focusing back at you. "They clearly don't know the type of person you actually want, but I do. C'mon, I'll take you to them." You must admit, the other girls only seem to put you with someone who they think is right. They never asked you for your opinion, but it seems Sunset might actually care about what you want. But still, you'd rather have some idea about who you're going to see.

"You know what, tell me a bit about them. I want to know what I'm getting into this time."

Man Up

Sunset's eyes light up, perhaps at the fact you've not immediately dismissed her suggestion.

"Well, they're into those weird video games you like." she begins, which immediately gets your interest. You don't know any girls at Canterlot High who play video games aside from Rainbow and Pinkie.

"They play that one you're always talking about, World of Witchcraft or something?" Well that rules out either of them. Rainbow actively mocks you for playing that. Not that Sunset would have set you up with either.

"Really? Who is it?" you ask. Sunset giggles in response.

"That'd be spoiling it," Sunset teases, as you roll your eyes. "You ready to meet them?" Sunset looks at you expectantly. You're really interested, more so just to see which girl she's found. You're sure you'll have plenty more in common with them. You're pretty excited about this one.

"Sure, take me to them." you enthusiastically reply. Sunset then takes your hand and leads you into a crowd of people around the dancefloor. It's nearly impossible to make out anyone as you're taken across the dancefloor. Finally, Sunset stops at a table on the other side of the room. She stands you in front of the table, across from a guy you've never seen before.

"Anon, this is Blaze Bolt, I've been telling him all about you!" Sunset giddily says as you give a look of confusion. She's not actually set you up with a guy, right? You look across to Sunset, who is delirious with delight, then across to Blaze, who is sheepishly smiling towards you. You look back to Sunset, almost lost for words.

"Sunset...that's a guy..." you manage to let out, still confused. Sunset drops her expression to a more straight-faced look.

"Well, yeah. I thought that's what you were into, with you not having luck with those girls before." she replies, her stoic expression removing any doubt that she may have been joking. You return a shocked, slightly offended look.

"Hey, none of that was my fault!" you scathe, before thinking back. "Well...maybe one was, but just because I had trouble with those girls doesn't mean I like men!" Your outburst catches the attention of Blaze sitting opposite you, who slightly shrinks back in his seat. "N-not that there's anything wrong with that." you quickly add, slightly putting him at ease. Sunset frowns before responding.

"But he's a great guy, and he likes everything that you like." Sunset pleads, trying to get you to come around. Instead, you sigh.

"I'm sure he's great, but I'm not into men." you reply, frustrated that Sunset isn't backing down. She looks between you and Blaze nervously.

"W-well how do you know if you've never given it a try?" Sunset shakily asks, desperately attempting for her efforts not to be in vain. You simply return a deadpan look, not amused in the slightest.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a proper response," you coldly reply, before turning back to Blaze "Again, no offense, but...uh, you're....not my type." Blaze coyly looks away, clearly embarrassed about this situation. At least you're not the only one feeling awkward. You worry that Sunset is going to try once again, but instead she looks back over to you apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Anon. Guess I misread the signs." she quietly says, an embarrassed smile across her face. She then apologies to Blaze, who thankfully seems to take it quite well. Your awkwardness quickly subsides as you offer her a reassuring smile.

"It's fine," you start, before adopting a more serious expression. "I appreciate the effort, but maybe ask me first next time." Sunset blushes a little in embarrassment before nodding. You then go your separate ways within the club. Maybe you can actually find some peace this time. You look back towards the table to once again give your apologies to Blaze, but find the table empty, a half-finished drink still on the table. Must've left out of embarrassment. Poor guy.

By The Book

You look all around you, ensuring that you're alone and head towards the bar. You wonder if you tell the bartender your story, he'll pour you a whiskey. Probably not. Alcohol be damned, you continue towards the bar, looking out for anyone you may recognize, and making sure to stay out of their way. You finally reach the bar and manage to signal down a bartender. You resist the urge to ask for the stiffest drink they have, and instead opt for a cola, which the bartender serves for you. As you go to lift the glass to your mouth, you feel another tap on your shoulder, and the creeping dread which now accompanies such a feeling. You sigh the deepest of sighs and turn to see Twilight Sparkle, clutching some kind of book.

"Hey Anon, I know you've had a lot of trouble tonight, but I've got the solution!" Twilight excitedly announced, gesturing towards her book. You take the book from her grasp and examine the cover.

Casanova Heartthrob's 1001 Chat-Up Lines

You give Twilight a look of disbelief before handing the book back to her.

"A book of pick-up lines? Really? I'm not that desperate." you say, turning back towards your drink. However, before you can savour a gulp, Twilight grabs your attention once again.

"Give it a try, Anon. The book has testimonials showing that it works, and sold over a million copies. It's got to be good!" Twilight pleads. You take the book again, reading some of the testimonials on the first page. They do seem to paint the book in a positive light. Plus Twilight knows her books, right?

"Fine..." you concede, allowing Twilight to drag you off into the club. You look back towards the bar and realize you left your drink.

"Twilight, I need to get my drink!" you shout, but she doesn't seem to hear you, and continues leading you across the club. "Twilight? Twilight! Twi-" You look back and no longer see the bar, your drink now out of view. "...Oh, forget it..."

"So," Twilight says, shuffling you into a secluded spot slightly away from the main dancefloor "Let's see what this book has to offer." She begins ruffling through the pages, scanning them at an incredible speed. You sigh, looking around for anything to bail you out of this mess. Sadly, help cannot be found.

"Ah ha!" Twilight exclaims, pointing to a certain line of text in her book. "This one will work, I'm sure of it!" she confidently states, as you lean in closer to read the excerpt.

"Twilight, are you sure? I've had a lot of disappointments tonight, I'm kinda after a sure-fire thing at this point." you say, your rather defeatist attitude evident throughout your words. Twilight responds with a confident smile.

"Just give it a try!" You roll your eyes as Twilight pushes you towards the dancefloor. You instinctively start dancing, and within a few minutes, you're face to face with a pretty looking girl, smiling back at you. Time to see if these things work.

"Hey, baby..." you uncharacteristically say. "If you were words on a page, you'd be fine print!" You manage to mask your inner cringe behind a slight smile. However, the girl opposite you does not share that expression, raising an eyebrow in confusion and turning away, mixing back in with the crowd. Oh for the love of-

"What happened, Anon?" Twilight asks, her lack of context evident in her surprised tone.

"Well, I tried the line you said, and the girl looked at me like I had two heads." You respond, failing to mask your annoyance. In responds, Twilight flicks through her book with a more frantic action, before stopping on another phrase.

"Ooh, I like this one." she enthusiastically points out her selected line. You take a look, doubt still in your mind.

"This had better work, Twi." you say, looking around the dancefloor for potential partners.

"Trust me, this one has got to work!" she responds, once again ushering you towards the dancefloor. You start dancing as best you can to blend in with the crowd. Amazingly, once again after a while, another girl is opposite you, dancing alongside you. Maybe you should just continue dancing, that seems to be working. But no, if Twilight is certain, this has to work. You wait until your eyes meet with the girl, before delivering the line.

"Hey, do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you." you say, as smoothly as you possibly can under the awkward circumstances. The girl looks confused, looking around as if to see if anyone else heard.

"What did you say?" She asks. Panicked you respond almost automatically.

"I said...do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you." You splutter, a fair bit rougher than last time. The girl looks to the floor, possible out of embarrassment, before turning back to you, with an expression you'd judge as disbelief.

"Yeah...that's what I thought you said..."

She then nervously shuffles away from you before turning away, escaping into the crowd. You hear her say something, but can't make out what. Probably for the best you didn't. You turn back towards Twilight, who was watching the entire time, her focus switching from the book to you with rapid succession.

"B-but the book said this was guaranteed to work! It's a certainty tha-"

"GIVE ME THAT!" you shout, grabbing the book from Twilight. You examine the cover before turning the book over and reading the blurb.

Casanova Heartthrob brings you 1001 chat-up lines which are guaranteed to wow any groovy chick at your next shindig!

You furrow your brow and look at the year the book was published. 1971. You look back to Twilight, your expression caught somewhere between anger, disbelief and dumbfoundedness.

"Twilight, this book is over 40 years old! No wonder none of the things worked, it's horribly out of date!" you say as Twilight takes the book back and studies it for herself.

"Oh, how did I not notice that!" she says, giggling to herself before noticing your unimpressed expression. "Sorry, Anon, guess I should've checked before I grabbed the book." You don't reply, still getting over some of the awful lines Twilight's book had you say. "Maybe I can find a more updated version of th-"

"No more books!" you cry, causing Twilight to jump in shock. Thankfully no-one else heard you, they'd think you're crazy.

"Well I thought the lines were great." Twilight says, attempting to ease your mood. If anything, it somehow makes you feel worse. Twilight notices this and puts a hand on your shoulder. "Sorry, Anon, but don't feel bad. I know you'll find someone here. I'll be by the bar if you need me." Twilight says, before heading back in the direction you initially came from. Not likely you'll take her up on that, you're getting out of here while you can.

The Honest Truth

Once again, you find yourself alone, despite the sea of people around the club. Twilight has disappeared completely from your view, possibly from second-hand embarrassment, even though that book of hers was the culprit. You might as well just leave at this point, just take the loss and try again some other time. You're sure Rarity would understand. You take a final look around the club, but don't see anyone you recognize aside from Rainbow Dash chatting to some guy at the bar. Probably best you don't interrupt that.

You pass through a large crowd near the exit, almost reaching the door before you notice Applejack stood to the side. You try to ignore her, but she grabs your arm as you head towards the door and pulls you back in.

"I figured I'd find you trying to leave." Applejack calmly says. You try to walk away, but her grip on your arm is too strong. You turn towards her, sighing.

"Look, Applejack, tonight has been dreadful. Nothing has gone right for me, and I just want to leave with what little dignity I have left. Please, just allow me that." you defeated say, barely able to look at Applejack. She seems taken aback initially, but still refuses to let you go.

"Now listen, Anon. I don't know what them other girls have done to you, but I know what I'm doing, and I'm sure I've found the perfect girl for you," Applejack berates, before switching to a softer tone. "If nothing else, can you trust me? What's one more attempt gonna do to hurt?" Applejack pleads to you with a heartfelt expression. It's near impossible to say no to her.

"...Fine," you respond. "You'd better not be messing me around."

Applejack leads you back towards the packed dancefloor, cutting through the crowds. She eventually stops at a cute-looking girl, a slight aqua tinge to her skin. Applejack steps to the side, allowing you to both see each other properly.

"Lyra, this is Anon I was talking about." she announces, as Lyra steps forward, offering a smile.

"Hey Anon, Applejack has been telling me all about you!" she happily recounts, as you look over to Applejack.

"Oh god, what has she told you?" you sarcastically reply, drawing a laugh from Lyra, who looks over to Applejack.

"Haha, you were right, he is funny!" she says, turning back to you. "She also said you like rock music, I was just gonna go and request something to dance to. You wanna come?" You're almost taken aback with how well this is going.

"Y-yeah, definitely! Lead the way!" you beam, as Lyra takes your hand, leading you towards the DJ booth. As you reach it, Lyra talks with the DJ, who gives her a thumbs up and immediately changes the song to her request. Amazingly, it's one of your favourites.

"I love this song!" you shout as you and Lyra walk back towards Applejack and begin dancing together to the song. Applejack smiles, seeing the two of you happy together.

"See Anon, I knew that you two'd get on just fine!" Applejack happily announces, as you and Lyra return a smile. You can't believe after all of the failures and embarrassment of tonight, one of the girls has finally pulled through for you.

"I'll leave you two to it, then," Applejack says, turning towards a crowd of people. "I can't wait to tell the girls I won!" Lyra stops dancing and turns back towards Applejack, getting her attention.

"Won? What do you mean, won?" Lyra quizzes, as Applejack goes red in realization. You just stand frozen.

"Well, uh, me and the girls had a little competition to try and get Anon a date tonight, and-" Before Applejack and explain herself, Lyra steps forward angrily.

"Competition? So I'm just a bet?" she turns towards you, with the same expression of anger. "You're just doing this because some girls told you to?" You hurriedly try to form your words.

"N-no! Applejack was just helping me, they weren't-" Unfortunately, your words don't seem to have eased the situation, as Lyra's expression remains unchanged.

"Save it! I don't want to hear your excuses. Goodbye, Anon." Lyra storms off into a crowd of people. You attempt to go after her, but within seconds, you've lost sight of her. You turn towards Applejack, your expression torn between sadness, anger and confusion. You don't need to say anything, the look of guilt on Applejack's face says it all.

"I-I...I'm sorry, sugarcube. I didn't mean for what I said to come out like that," Applejack looks towards the floor in embarrassment. You don't reply, still processing the situation in your head. "I'd understand if you headed home now, I'll walk you back if you want." You look towards Applejack, your face worryingly straight.

"I-I think I just want to be alone after that." you reply, surprisingly calmly, your voice still choking a little. You turn away from the dancefloor towards an empty booth. You notice Applejack considering following you, but thinks she better of it and leaves you to walk off into the club.

Under Your Nose

Dejected, you spot an empty booth along one of the sides of the club. You walk over and sink yourself into the leather backing. Even with six of the best known girls in school helping you, you couldn't find a date. The last one wasn't even your fault. All you wanted was a fun night in the club, why'd you let the girls talk you into this? You cup your head in your hands and stare across the club.

You await a hand on your shoulder, or a voice in your ear. That's what has happened throughout the night, but nothing happens. The club continues to move around you as it has all throughout the night. You look around for a familiar face, but see no-one. You put your head further into your hands, reflecting on the night's events. This was meant to be fun, and maybe you'd actually have a date by the end of it. Win or lose, you'd have a good evening with your friends. But you only feel empty, as if the wind has been sucked from you. You sigh, before looking back up across the dancefloor.

Unexpectedly, you feel the leather sag next to you, catching you off guard. You turn to see Rainbow Dash, initially returning your gaze, before turning towards the dancefloor, similarly to you previously.

"Hey, Anon," she begins, still gazing out towards the floor. "No luck finding anyone?" You contemplate lying to her, but you're certain the other girls will tell her. It's best she gets the truth. You shake your head, gaining her full attention, as well as a look of sympathy. You turn your head away from her, staring off into the distance as you were doing before.

"What about you? I thought you'd be fighting off guys by now." you respond, your sentence laced with sarcasm which thankfully goes over Rainbow's head. From the corner of your eye, you see her fidget nervously.

"Me? Oh, totally, I had like...fifteen guys wanting my number. There were so many...I had to..." Rainbow trails off as you turn back towards her. She lets out a long sigh and collapses into the sofa. "What's the use? Tonight was a bust. I couldn't get a guy in here if my life depended on it." Rainbow slumps back even more and stares across the dancefloor, watching the crowd of happy patrons enjoy themselves.

An awkward silence falls between you and Rainbow. You both cast your eyes across the floor, filled with happy partners dancing the night away. Rarity, Pinkie and even Fluttershy are dancing with partners, while Applejack is chatting to a guy at the bar. At least some people are having a good night.

"So this is our night, huh?" she quips, her voice expressionless. You're surprised Rainbow had trouble finding someone tonight. She's outgoing, brave and athletic. This is the type of place you'd expect someone like her to thrive. "Just because I don't wear makeup and fancy dresses like every other girl..." Rainbow mumbles. Suddenly, glancing across the dancefloor, and back to Rainbow, you piece her situation together.

It's true, Rainbow doesn't deal with the whole 'beauty' thing, whereas the other girls take at least half an hour to be ready for anything. Well, maybe aside from Applejack. But you admire that. She could easily be the same as other girls, spend hours slathering herself with product, slaving over achieving perfection. But she doesn't. She's happy with herself. And who could blame her? She's beautiful without all of that stuff.

You distance yourself from your daydream, gathering your thoughts. You glance over to your friend, staring emotionless across the densely packed nightclub. A strobing light highlights her face for a second, allowing you a moment to reflect. You weren't exactly wrong. Rainbow has always had an effortless beauty to her. Something you feel makeup would only detract from. You turn back away in contemplation.

What're you thinking!? Are you falling for Rainbow? She's your best friend! Not just that, but she wretches when couples kiss in movies, zones out when the girls talk about dates and boys and is more interested in sports days than prom nights. You can't say anything mushy to her, she'd just laugh it off. Maybe she'd get offended, she might think you're insulting her. Maybe she'd never speak to you again

You look over to Rainbow, who has slumped back into the sofa, resigned to her current dull night. No, you can't just end the night like this. The two of you, sat emotionless for the remainder of the night, waiting on the girls to finish. You don't believe in destiny, but you feel ending up here tonight with Rainbow wasn't coincidence. Consequences be damned, you've got to take this chance.

Your mind is made up. You need to say something that she needs to hear, something, deep down, you want to tell her.

"You look beautiful the way you are, Rainbow." you respond, before immediately freezing, the ramifications of your actions racing through your mind.

"Exactly! I mean-" Rainbow stops dead, deciphering your sentence. You remain silent, attempting to regain your composure. Rainbow turns to face you, her face dropped in shock. You can barely look at her in fear of what might come next. A slap, a laugh, a-

"W-what did you say?" Rainbow sheepishly asks. That wasn't the reply you expected. A laugh and a playful punch to the arm was probably your best case scenario. Instead, as you turn back to face Rainbow, you're met with an unexpected gaze. One of confusion, but also curiosity. The bad thoughts immediately plague your mind as you try to decode Rainbow's puzzled expression. You could have just stayed quiet, you could have avoided this awkwardness.

Yet here you are, you just called your best friend beautiful, and she doesn't seem to be complaining. In fact, within the silence between you both, Rainbow seems to almost examine you, looking for any discrepancies in your expression. Nervousness continues to haunt you. You expect her to start laughing at any moment, or her expression to turn to anger. You feel your heart beat ever faster, you don't know if you can face this any longer.

However, in the silence, Rainbow's expression hasn't changed, aside from looking a little more concerned at your lack of response. She continues to stare at you, magenta eyes piercing through your own. No. You can't back down from this. No matter what, this needs to be done. Rainbow needs to know.

"I said you look beautiful the way you are." you calmly reply, not taking your eyes off Rainbow. Her eyes widen, a slight gasp of shock leaving her mouth. A strobing light passes by her face, revealing a light blush, only for a second. Again, you brace yourself for the worst. As Rainbow processes your sentence, you await the consequences. The sound of laughter or an angry riposte. You can hardly look, glancing from the corner of your eye.

"Y-you mean it?" Rainbow uncomfortably stutters, breaking her usually cool persona for a moment. Her response catches you by surprise. You look back to Rainbow, a small smile across her face, lights showcasing her rose-red cheeks. Adorable isn't a word you'd ever think to use to describe Rainbow Dash, but she fits the description perfectly right now.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't lie to you, Rainbow." you answer, giving Rainbow a comfortable smile. After taking a second to compose herself, Rainbow sits up and wraps her arms around you tightly, as if she was trying to squeeze all of the air out of you.

"Thank you." she whispers in your ear before shuffling out of the booth and standing up, stretching an inviting arm to you. You give her a confused look, as she rolls her eyes.

"Well? Are we gonna dance or not?" Rainbow impatiently asks, playfully taping her foot and letting yet another smile creep onto her face. "Or are you gonna keep this beautiful girl waiting?" You struggle to stop a smile of your own breaking its way onto your face as you take Rainbow's hand. With immense force, she pulls you up and leads you towards the crowded mass of people jumping about on the dancefloor. You take a look at Rainbow, who gazes back with giddy eyes and a huge smile. Maybe you'll enjoy this night after all.