Friendship Castle (It's been 4 weeks since our last 'evil for the sake of it' threat)
5 hours before incident...

Spike examined himself in the mirror and put a claw to his chin as he thought about what he wanted to do tonight. Tonight was a special night. A night that he thought would, according to himself, define him. For some reason, it had to start with him stripping down naked. Such is life, after all.

Clearly, puberty has been quite kind to him recently. He was expecting himself to look a bit more like that one time his greed accelerated his growth to monstrous levels, but this was far more pleasing. His scales had gotten even smoother than before, his tail could sensually wrap around his leg, his facial features spruced up to look a bit more feminine, and his cock felt so...warm in his grasp.

He panted a bit as he made himself comfortable in his mind. The image of Big Mac, Rumble, or some other stallion rutting him until there was no tomorrow. Hell, even Garble wasn't a bad option. To feel his toned ass ravaged by the nearest male...he gave himself a mental reminder to thank Rarity for the book on submission. She may have not been his object of affection anymore, but at least she still counted as one of his best friends (and occasional mistress whenever she got the dominatrix equipment out).

He started to rub his cock more as he knelt down to the ground, looking upon himself in the mirror even more. He liked how his long forked tongue hung out as he panted. His tail began to grind against his ass, simulating the feel of a large warm cock. 'Alright...start talking dirty...that helps'. He thought, having read enough hentai to know where this should go.

"F...fuuuuuck me..." Spike said to himself as he masturbated. He didn't care how fake that sounded. It was doing the job of making him more aroused. "Just put it in me...make me your bitch...your cock-slut..."

Suddenly, the door opened. "Spike, what are you doing?"

"TWILIGHT!" Spike shot up in embarrassment and a bit of anger. He was so close to cumming and the old cliche of a family member walking in had to rear its ugly head. "Uh...you heard nothing! Okay?!"

"Look, there's nothing wrong with blowing off some steam, but could you have not done it near the desk?" Twilight asked as she crossed her arms.

"You know, first off, it's the only place where we have a huge mirror for some reason." Spike said as he put back on some shorts and a t-shirt. "Second, can't I just have a few minutes to myself once in a while?! These urges are killing me, I tell you!"

Twilight sighed. He wasn't wrong. At his age (17, basically), dragons would usually look for at least a quick fuck or occasionally, in her terms, "blow off some steam". Spike was no different, especially with the fact that he had become more sexually active indoors.

"I think you've been reading too many yaoi fanfics." Twilight said. "I can't use the laptop without hoping you deleted your internet history before I accidentally insta-searched to a random porn website."

"Fanfics? Try counting the manga I found next to your bed." Spike countered before raising an eyebrow. "And how did those get there?"

"Subject change!" Twilight hand-waved that notion, despite blushing red at that. "Yes, I freely admit that it kinda sucks being a virgin, but I've got the duties of a princess. I think finding a stallion is the least of my concerns!"

"We defeated Tirek. Loosen up and try to fill a few holes in your life. That's what I'm hoping to do, at least." Spike said. "I won't lie, though. We're going to have this so much worse than anypony around."

"Why's that? As Rarity keeps saying, there's somepony for everypony." Twilight said. "The validity of that is questionable, but not inaccurate."

"Are you kidding? You're straight as an arrow, I think, and I'm into cock! Have you seen the stallion-to-mare ratio in Equestria? By Unicron's horns, I sound like you!" Spike said as he comically flailed around a list of guys and a list of girls. Comparatively, the girl list could have wrapped around the house 57 times over. The male one...not so much.

"I...see." Twilight's ears did droop a little when she saw that. You see, in Equestria, most mares were perfectly fine with starting up a relationship with the same sex, if only due to the fact that, comparatively, the amount of males in Equestria paled when faced with how many females there were. The only stallions she knew that would do a gender-reversed version of that rule would have been Soarin, Caramel, and maybe Braeburn (if those chaps were anything to go by). Of course, that didn't stop the practice of polygamy, which was actually endorsed by Celestia and Luna themselves, but only one male occupied such a prospect. Two males would just make it look like they were hogging a potential mate.

And now, you're either bored as heck or actually intrigued. Well, enough of that! Back to the plot.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Twi." Spike placed a claw on her shoulder. "Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It's just that...we could really use a nightclub. You know? Like what Vinyl Scratch proposed."

"Are you sure? I've heard about the nightclubs in Manehatten and the fatality rate keeps going up when they have a huge celebration." Twilight advised.

"Relax. Remember our illegal drug policy here. Pinkie and Dash would utterly destroy anyone who so much as tried to sneak in the weakest variety of crack." Spike assured. A silence then overcame them. "So...before the image of Pinkie snorting some coke and destroying everything in sight ravages my brain, can we do a few things with this castle?"

"Well, I was thinking about changing the name of this castle." Twilight suggested. "Somehow, I think the phrase 'Friendship Castle' is too on the nose."

"You could say that. Also, remember that idiot who sent us a letter to install a 'cutie map'? I mean, for Faust's sake, one of the details involved sending only a select few of our group when we could have solved a problem with all of us! Who does that?" Spike remarked as he went into the kitchen to fix himself some toast.

Rainbow Dash's House (Home to a hero, but that's no excuse for the late rent)
4 hours before incident...

Gilda laid against the couch as she tapped her claw against the armrest impatiently while Dash scooped up another spoonful of chocolate ice cream. She looked at the clock. 8:00 in the morning. This was just asinine. She got here early for a little get-together for this? Watching her friend devour ice cream as she lamented...something?

"This is the fourth tub you've eaten out of. You wanna tell me what's wrong or you wanna keep eating until you practically become an anvil held up by a balloon?" Gilda asked.

Dash put aside the ice cream for a moment. "Shoot. You're right." She huffed. "The only thing I can think of that's worse than what just happened is...well, basically that. I didn't eat that much, did I?"

"Nah, I'd say you would have been screwed by the fifth tub." Gilda said honestly. "Seriously. I can see the pile you've prepared yourself and if the heart disease doesn't kill you, the fall from Cloudsdale would."

"You are just the paragon your kingdom deserves." Dash snidely replied.

"Hey. I try." Gilda said honestly. "I'd say that things are going pretty damn well since you and Pinkie visited, but since you had the nerve to wake me up this early in the day, I might as well hear you out. Usually, anyone who tries that on me had better prepare to see black and blue."

"....Damn it. It's too stupid." Dash sighed.

"What? The thought of me punching out any-"

"No. It's the reason I've went the way of Season 1 Rarity and invested in several shipments of ice cream." Dash huffed.

"C'mon. It's cool. Just us girls." Gilda shrugged. "Lay it on me. Did the Wonderbolts hire that Lightning Dust gal again? I swear, if I see that bitch again-"

"Look, she knows what he did, okay?" Dash interrupted. "Anyway, it's just that...I found out Soarin was gay."

Gilda took a sip of some soda she brought along with her as she took that in. "Who was that again? The pie eating stallion with the ridiculously tight outfit? I mean, I've seen those things and they just leave nothing to my imagination, but he takes the cake. I swear, I could see his balls-"

"TMI, Gilda!" Dash cut her off before continuing. "Yeah, for the past few months, I crushed pretty hard on him. He's still a nice guy I bet, don't get me wrong, but...I was just thinking of getting a bit closer to him. He was funny, cute, and star of the show. What more could I ask for?"

"A bigger rack?" Gilda teased.

"Nope. Not gonna work this time. The thing about flat chests, it just makes me all the more aerodynamic." Dash boasted. "Back on subject. So, last night, I sneaked into the boy's shower room. I overheard that he wanted to head there for some reason, so why not? Anyway, I opened the door and...the rest is history." She sighed. "There he was getting fucked by some other pegasus stallion."

"Ouch. Did you at least get a good show? Any saucy details to lighten the mood?" Gilda asked.

"Don't push it." Dash glared at her. "Although, he did have kind of a small dick. If I wasn't so sad right then, I guess I would laugh." She flopped onto Gilda's lap. "What am I gonna do?"

"I dunno. Maybe find yourself a nice mare. Go back to the good old days." The griffonness suggested. "You know? We rounded up the cutest girls and got the steam rising behind the bleachers?"

"I guess, but I think that was just a phase or something." Dash replied. "I guess I would have chosen Applejack next, but she's going steady with Rarity."

"Fluttershy?"

"Nah. I've seen her get down with Tree Hugger. I'd also have to deal with Discord's bullshit."

"Pinkie?"

"Used to being the town bicycle. Maybe for a quick fuck, but not much."

"The nerd?"

"Twilight? Wouldn't work. She's straight."

"Steven Magnet?"

"Okay, now, you're being ridic-"

"You know what? Here's a good idea. Just drop the idea of getting laid for now and focus on what you're good at. Like performing at shows. Trust me. I'm up for staying around for a few days. Maybe a week." Gilda said. "Bet it'll go down better than last time."

"Sure thing." Dash fist-bumped her before something hit her. "Wait a minute...if you're saying I shouldn't be so desperate to snag a stallionfriend or a marefriend, I guess, how come you came dressed up like that?"

"Excuse me?" Gilda eyed her at that remark.

"Seriously. You've got a serious case of under-boob and I'm pretty sure those jeans didn't start out that short. I can clearly see your claw-marks." Dash pointed out, poking her finger against her friend's breasts to emphasize her point.

Gilda slapped her hand away before crossing her arms. "I don't have to explain this. This is just how I wanna look now."

"You're blushing." Dash pointed out, a mischievous smile adorning her face. "C'mon. Spit it out. Why the sudden need to show off what your mom gave you?"

"I hated my mom, remember?" Gilda's eye twitched.

"Oh...shoot. Not funny." Dash rubbed the back of her head. She'd heard enough horror stories about her friend's home life before and after they first met at school. She didn't need a reminder. "On second thought, you don't have to-"

"Nah, you've got a point. I'll tell you along the way to Sweet Apple Acres. I've been meaning to try out some of that cider you won't stop emailing me about." Gilda said as she flexed her wings until an audible 'pop' was heard.

"Eh. I could got for a pint as well." Dash shrugged before stepping out of the house alongside her friend. "Thanks, Gilda. I needed this."

"I'm sure you did." The griffoness replied. "You wanna fly the easy way or through that incoming storm?"

"What do you think?" Dash smirked before they both flew into the heart of the incoming ball of water droplets and possible lightning.

Sweet Apple Acres (All ponies should be noted that Granny Smith just bought herself a shotgun)
3 hours before incident...

"You sure ahm doin' this right, Rares?" Applejack asked as she stood in front of her marefriend, clad in only her thong and the handkerchief that she called her 'bra'. "I bet I am. You're lookin' hotter than the Appleloosa on a summer's day."

"Why, yes, dear. Keep it slow, though. I want to savor this." Rarity, wearing nothing but her undergarments, fanned her face with her hand to reassure her, even though the big red blush on her was indication enough that this was turning her on. Her eyes fell upon her marfriend's legs. "Mmmmm...I must say, you put your brother to shame."

"Not really. He's built like a tank. Ain't nothin' gonna match him. Unless somethin' crazy happens to Spike." The farmpony assured as she undid her bra, leaving her breasts exposed. "Aw, shucks. I think they're getting bigger."

"And how is that a problem?" Rarity bit her finger as she crossed her legs. The sight of her lover's full and firm breasts was always enough to arouse her to the fullest. It only could go higher from there when Applejack slowly slid off her panties, revealing her large pussy.

"So...you wanna rut or what? Apple Bloom's at her friend's place and Big Mac's workin' hard as usual. Ain't nopony gonna interrupt us." Applejack said as she spread out her pussy with two fingers.

"Aren't we eager?" Rarity bit her lip as she approached the taller equestrian. She let out a small giggle before massaging the large breasts, earning a moan from her lover. "Mmmmm...you have such wondrous nipples...I can feel them poking against my hands..."

"Yer kiddin', right?" Applejack just let her marefriend do her thing. "Yer hands are cold, is what it is. And...I love it."

"I know you do. And that's only the start." Rarity assured as she knelt down until her face was facing Applejack's pussy. She traced a finger across it, causing the farmpony to tense. "Mmmmm...wet. Just how I like it."

"Remember when you said it tasted like apples?" Applejack asked as sweat cascaded down her face. "I bet you taste like marshmallows."

"Don't worry. We'll find out in a few moments." Rarity assured before burying her face into Applejack's crotch, earning a moan from her lover. The apple cider produced on the farm was nothing compared to this, according to Rarity. She had eaten out her marefriend twice before, but each time felt better than the last.

"Tha...that's right...lick is hard..ah...ahhhhh...you make me feel so good, girl..." Applejack softly said as she pushed Rarity's face in more. Her thoughts began to drift as the tongue licked circles around her clit. "Fuck me....please fuck me, Big Mac..."

"I beg your pardon?" Rarity backed out, pre-cum covering her petite mouth.

"Oh, dang it all! I was so close!" Applejack pouted before she realized what she said a moment ago. "Umm...I wasn't thinkin' straight!"

"I know that, but could you explain ?" Rarity asked in an understanding tone as she stood up. "Care to share any fantasies with me? I am hoping to have a serious relationship with you, you know."

"Ah know. Ah love you, too. It's...it's kinda...you know..." Applejack looked extremely uneasy about revealing what had been bothering her. "Can we sit down for a while?"

"Alright then." Rarity said as the both of them sat on a haystack. The seamstress winced at how uncomfortable it felt, but she did have a few ideas later on about the old phrase 'a roll in the haystack'. "You blurted out your brother's name as I...well, you know. Are you...by any chance-"

"Ah don't have a crush on mah big brother, okay?!" Applejack insisted.

"My word. Not only was that uncalled for, but you're still a terrible liar as always." Rarity crossed her arms.

"Ah don't wanna talk about it! It's just a stupid wet dream ah get once in a while! Nothin' more." The farmpony calmed as she let her head down. "Can we just drop it and continue like this thing never happened?"

Rarity, while a bit put off by her marefriend's stubborn behavior, understood where she was coming from. Absolutely nopony wanted to admit his/her feelings towards any related folk. The dreadful thought of Sweetie Belle and her getting closer in that sort of way was enough to send shivers down her spine. Nevertheless, she placed a reassuring hand on the farmpony's shoulder.

"Look. We will have to look into this. It's inevitable, dear. However, I must confess. It's rude to keep a lady waiting. Rude of me, that is." The seamstress cooed as she traced a finger across her lover's pussy.

"Save it for 'nother day. For now, come 'ere, sugarcube." Applejack said before pulling Rarity into a deep kiss.

Outside of the barn, Rainbow Dash and Gilda landed. While Dash looked perfectly fine, some of Gilda's feathers were singed.

"Hey, uh, you okay? That lightning strike was kinda too close for comfort." Dash asked as she used two of her fingers to pinch out one of the flames.

"I've had worse." The griffoness remarked, though she couldn't help but agree inside. Last time she nearly flies into some gray blonde pegasus with weird eyes carrying a piano or two.

"Sweet Celestia, I think I've got an idea." Dash pointed to the distance.

"Tell me it's nothing like that jockstrap prank you had planned at one point." Gilda rolled her eyes.

"NO. The last time we tested that, we couldn't fill in the holes in time." Whatever Dash was talking about, it wasn't pretty. "Him!"

The stallion he was pointing to was Big Macintosh, the most humble stud you could ever find. He was, as usual, shirtless and moving the plow with all his might against the hardened soil. It was summer, after all, so the sun was causing him to sweat up a storm.

"Not my type." Gilda sighed quietly in disappointment.

"So, that's why you dressed up like that." Dash butted him, causing her to squawk in surprise. "I'm the one pining for some tail and even I'm not going down the same path you are. Yeesh."

"Well, at least I don't have to say it out-loud now." Gild huffed. "In a few days or more, mating season begins. You know what that means? Every male goes freaking blood-hungry against any potential challengers and ruts any female he can get. It's pretty much how I was conceived."

"Ouch." Dash winced.

"I would have come by your house much sooner, but I had to sneak out in case any of the boys tried reeling me in. I figured I was safe from any urges here but...Dash, do me a solid." Gilda asked earnestly.

"Lock you up in a closet until the urge passes?" The pegasus replied.

"Even if I wanted you to do that, you wouldn't survive the night if you tried pulling that off." The griffoness said bluntly. "No, I just...I just want one male. ONE male. If a whole bunch of boys start heading my direction and I can't get out in time, try to be there for me. I mean, I could take them but-"

She was interrupted when Dash threw her hand around her waist. "I've got your back, girl. You can count on me. Still, though, I'm surprised you didn't go gaga over Mac here. I mean, look at him."

"I dunno. Maybe I'm just not into earth ponies." Gilda shrugged. "It's the wings that do it for me. And maybe even a submissive attitude. You know how I love being top bitch."

"The memories just keep flooding back." Dash rolled her eyes before setting them on Big Mac, who was chugging down water. "Now, how to reach him? Hmmmm..."

Fluttershy's Cottage (Any mention of burning bunnies will be immediately met with lots of crying)
2 hours before incident...

Fluttershy's eyes stayed bug-eyed for a good while. She had just realized what had happened last night and she wasn't sure what to think. Currently, she was sleeping in her bed with only her baby-blue thong on. Her large DD-cup breasts were exposed and, as of now, being loving groped by the other occupant in the bed. Mainly, her hippie friend-with-benefits, Tree Hugger.

"Erm...excuse me...could you please get off of me?" Fluttershy asked politely as she held a finger up. "I think whatever we smoked got to us a teeny bit too much."

"Whaaaa?" The green earth-pony awakened, flexing her body while rubbing her bust against her friend's in the process, furthering the embarrassment. "C'mon. I think it awakened, like, an inner feeling between us. Can't you feel the aura?"

Fluttershy's ears drooped. She had been meaning to say this for a while now. "Tree Hugger, please don't be upset when I tell you this."

"You're not into mares? That's totally fine. We all have different ways we want to connect with the vibes of those around us. Me? I get a lot of vibes. Close vibes, you know." She snuggled into her friend even more.

"Please stop that. I need to get dressed. We've slept in for far too long and I'm worried my animals are about to stage a coo. I would never want them to be deprived of what they need most." Fluttershy said, a bit more adamantly.

"I feel you. I really do. Just...what kind of connection are you into?" Tree Hugger asked as she got up, still woozy from all that weed she and Fluttershy did the night before.

"It's...well, I'm used to mares, but..." She twiddled her finger as she got up too, using her left arm to cover her breasts to no avail.

"Does anybody have a piece of cake?" The stoned pony asked as she absent-mindingly stumbled out of the room. The crash of pots and pans could be heard after a minute.

Sighting to herself, Fluttershy began her usual morning routine. Clean her room, get in the shower, wear yet another green turtleneck and sweats, feed/water/teach the animals that were always welcome at her cottage, try to ignore Angel as he dragged some suspicious materials into his newly fashioned hole, and have some salad. Intermittently, she had to rest Tree Hugger on the couch as she got over her high. It did make the butter-yellow pegasus wonder, though. She managed to get through her high in no time at all. Maybe she was stronger than she thought in that department.

She looked out the window as she finished her salad. To her shock, she saw two of her bear residents, Marybelle and Joseph, start to mate with each-other. It was definitely mating season, alright. She had completely forgotten. Normally, any mare would have turned away, lest she be disgusted/get mauled.

Fluttershy didn't do that. She, with a huge blush on her face, got closer to the window. She was glad Tree Hugger was asleep and Discord was on vacation in Primus-knows-where. They wouldn't have to see what she was about to do as the bears fucked each-others brains out.

She slid a hand underneath her thong and inserted two of her fingers into her pussy. She bit her lip as she masturbated to the mating session. She wanted so bad to Marybelle at the moment. To be dominated by the larger male. To be mated by a creature born of nature and with no restraint. She was drawn to the majesty and savagery of the animal kingdom. No stallion or mare could satisfy that desire, as far as she knew.

And yet, it felt so wrong. Imagine what everypony would say about her if they learned she was into bestiality. She was almost thankful for her shyness and chastity whenever any romantic or possibly sexual situations came on the rise. Easy to hide in the prom, but slightly harder whenever Dash and Pinkie tried encouraging her to speed-date. She had to admit. Deep inside, she was lonely, despite the company of friends. She wanted commitment. Something even her animal friends would have a hard time giving.

She let a tear drop as she came and slid her fingers out. "Just...let it go, Fluttershy." She said to herself. "Who cares if you'll never really have a family...someone to live forever with...maybe even...foals or fillys..." That part really got to her. Children was the biggest problem. She always wanted to be a mother, as well. To have kids of her own to love and cherish until she joined the Choir Invisible.

If only she noticed the horrible things going on in Angel's hole. Maybe if she noticed the pentagram on his new book...

Sugarcube Corner (No, the cupcakes are not typical Creepypasta bait)
1 hour before incident...

Lucky (yes, the naming department did come to a screeching halt at times) was a stallion that many would call TOO lucky. Good luck was right there in his name and four-leaf clover cutie mark, but right now, he was getting more than he bargained for.

For at the moment, he was getting pinned down by Pinkie Pie, the most energetic pony and possibly even living being in the entire universe (if only he knew of Blurr of Cybertron). She was riding his average-sized cock like a freaking jackhammer while also splaying his legs out until they felt like they were going to split right off.

"Yeah! You like that! FUCK ME! FUCK ME UNTIL I'M READY TO BURST!" Pinkie shouted at the top of her lungs as she ruthlessly pounded at her victim. It was little wonder this place was soundproof. "Remember, YOU ASKED FOR THIS! NOW, BUCKING DESTROY ME IF YOU CAN!"

She wasn't wrong. She told him that he could meet her down in the basement for a little fun and who was he to refuse? Sure, she was a bit chubby, but she sported a rack that could make Fluttershy and Applejack jealous. Not to mention her adorable expression. The only other type of trap other than this that he knew was that of stallions posing as mares for the sake of a quick laugh.

Pinkie continued to slam her pussy against his nuts with incredible speed. He was powerless as his legs lost all feeling. What started to gain feeling was the urge to cum. The one thing that could set him free.

"Hold up!" Pinkie suddenly slipped her pussy out and placed a clamp on the cock just as he was about to release, possible impregnation be damned.

"N...noooo!" Lucky moaned. "I need to cum! Please! I can't take anymore!"

"Don't worry! Not only do you get a discount in the future, but...well, can you wait a sec? Please?" She asked.

"Yes! Please! Whatever makes this go faster!" Lucky pleaded.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie flashed a smile before getting out a jar from her poofy mane. She stuck the stallion's cock into it before placing her hand on the clamp. "Thar she blows!" She called out as she released the cock, causing Lucky to cum hard into the jar. "Wow! Even more than the last one!" She commented as he unloaded is...load. Yeah, I think you get it.

Lucky laid there, panting and laying in a pool of his own sweat as he finished. "Can I...can I go now?" He breathed as he tried to stand up, only to be helped by Pinkie.

"Yep! Please come again! You did me a really awesome favor!" Pinkie shook his hand hard.

"Scared to ask, but what are you gonna do with my...you know?" Lucky asked, pointing at the now closed and heavy jar of stallion jizz.

"This? Didn't you know? Let's just say I make my sweets...with love." She wiggled her eyebrows seductively.

"....Uh...huh..." Lucky winced as he took that information in. "So, that's the secret ingredient. GOTTA GO!" With that, he ran upstairs to the surface.

"Hey! What about your clothes? Hello?" Pinkie called out as she held up Lucky's pants and shirt. Too late. He was going to have to deal with some severe embarrassment for a good few days.

"Another one bites the dust." Ms. Cake sighed as she walked past. "Good work on getting the ingredient. Now, we'll have enough Mare's Delight for an entire family tree."

"I fuck to please!" Pinkie smiled cheekily before her body stood up and her tail twitched uncontrollably. "Uh-oh! A doozy's coming up and...it's big! Like, REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALY big! Enough to make Unicron's optics bug out!"

"Try to handle it in the next few moments. I've heard Bulk Biceps wanted to make an appointment!" Ms. Cake asked.

"Can I join when that happens?" Mr. Cake asked.

"Anytime." His wife answered, giving him an peck on the cheek.

Zooming into a nearby phone-booth and emerging with her typical shirt and torn jeans, Pinkie ran until she got to the center of town.

"Hmmmmm...I bet in an obligatory hour...the doozy should be right here. I've got my eye on you! You hear me?" Her right eye comically grew to the size of a beach-ball as she eyed the center of town.

"Take your meds!" A random stallion called out.

"Sure thing!" She called back.

"And stop changing your clothes in my T.A.R.D.I.S-I mean, phone-booth!" He replied as he quickly ran off. "I've got to keep a better eye on her..."

Amorous Nightclub (Like you didn't see this coming)
The Incident...

Kane tapped his toe-claw against the concrete as he awaited the influx of early visitors to come on over. He was ready to indulge in one heck of a large paycheck and he was willing to stand around and do nothing this early in the day just for that. I mean, it was only 12:00 in the afternoon! Sure, he was absolutely not a morning person, but...eh. He was a saurian. Raptor to be precise. Why else did they make him the bouncer?

Already, he saw one beat-up powdered blue pickup truck show up. He recognized it instantly. It was Betsy. No, not the occupant. The truck. Said occupants were Dustin the lion (he made a mental note to keep an eye on him whenever he got a certain look in his eyes) and Vareoth, his jackass of a boyfriend. I mean, Var was cute and all, but c'mon!

Another car drove up. It was a sports car and Kane's expressions softened when he saw who was driving and waving at him at the moment. It was Coby, the adorable male blue macaw and he had grown to admire and maybe even have a small crush on.

"So, you heard the news?" Kane asked as Coby walked up to him, wearing nothing but a thong and a small tank-top.

"Yep! Couldn't resist! I would have asked my big bro to come, but he said he was busy. Kinda sucks, but what can you do?" The avian shrugged. "I'm just glad I can be here on the 50th anniversary of this place."

"It's a milestone, ain't it?" Kane remarked as he scanned the horizon for any other comers who either came to celebrate as well or, more likely, because they had nothing better to do.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. California was no stranger to earthquakes, but everyone else in the distance seemed to be fine.

"Freaking tremors." Kane sighed as Dustin and Vareoth pulled in.

"You feeling that?" Dustin asked. "Looks like we're in for a little ride."

"Quit being overdramatic." Var chided. "It's a little fucking tremor. Big deal."

As if to taunt him, a tear in space/time ripped right in front of the club. It was close to where Kane and Coby were standing, as well.

"What the actual hell?!" Coby backed off.

"Ack! That homeless person I met this morning was right! Time and space mean nothing to this world now!" Kane shouted in his terror.

"Bad trip, man! Bad trip!" Var admitted as he hid in the car.

"Sure hope this gives us superpowers or something." Dustin said in good humor, although the situation was getting to be a bit much, no matter how many movies he had seen prior to this.

Finally, the tear took the shape of a circle and the rumbling stopped. The other side was encased in nothing but swirling green and blue. At least, until a certain pink Equestrian poked her head out.

"Hey! Look! A crossover!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I can't wait to welcome each and every one of you!"

"Sorry, I'm late, Kane!" Zenith, a fellow dragon bouncer, ran up to the Kane as this transpired. "Uh...what did I miss?"

A long period of silence fell upon the crowd. They just stared at the portal and its herald. What words would they choose to greet this newcomer? Words of wisdom and curiosity, perhaps?

Dustin was happy to start it off. "WHAT THE FU-"

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

Well, this is happening right now. That's all I really have to say. Feel free to leave a comment below and say what's on your mind about this fic so far. Trust me, it can only escalate from here.

Oh, and about the canon. Yeah, I freaking hate the Cutie Map. It felt like they were following that old trope of 'Let's go to this designated area with only the designated amount of ponies because the magical IKEA table said so'. Basically: 'Because Destiny Said So'. I mean, it's nice that it points to the various locations in Equestria, but it kinda brought up a few ugly details, like how Celestia glossed over the fact that the Griffon Kingdom is in a constant state of poverty and misery. But, hey. That one episode where it was shown was good. So, yeah. Canon's getting twisted this time around.

Oh, and Gilda's look that threw Dash off? Blame ss2sonic for the inspiration. It's one of his/her better works: https://static1.e621.net/data/c5/80/c58051abcfec17032c8e651f9dbe9fbc.png

As for the Transformers references, well, we're in the Hasbro Universe. It was inevitable.

Up Next: Twilight Sparkle, along with a few other peeps, brings two worlds together! Elsewhere, evil forces are afoot and Canterlot is ground central for a devastating attack!

Comment, if you please!