Feeling Amorous Tonight?

by MasterOfNintendo

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Gilda, Other, Romance, Sex
Length: 24893

A portal to the Amorous Nightclub opens up to Equestria. What could possibly go wrong? How about everything?

(The following takes place after Season 4 and is a non-profit fan-based fanfic. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro. Amorous belongs to Team Amorous. Any other crossover materials belong to their respective owners. Please support the official release.)

It all started when a portal opened up in Sugarcube Corner. It leads to a land dominated by humanoid animals, but the location it leads to is a place where people can meet, drink, be merry, and maybe start the creation of a booty call. This place is known as "Amorous", for obvious reasons.

And what of our heroes? Well, on one hand, it shall give them opportunities to further the prosperity of both their lands and make some new friends along the way. Maybe even have a little fun, if you know what I mean.

On the other hand, there's a whole slew of issues cropping up, even before these portals showed up. Twilight is trying to help Spike deal with his newfound interest in guys, Rainbow Dash is helping out Gilda with a few personal problems, Pinkie thinks something wicked is afoot, Fluttershy has to take care of a dangerous newcomer, and Rarity and Applejack are trying to keep their relationship stable after the farmpony drinks a strange vial. And that's just the main cast.

Even worse, ponies and other citizens are starting to vanish...and those can are found aren't the same as they were...

Published 2017-10-28 19:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-18 19:25:39 UTC

Chapter 2: Close Encounters of the Furred Kind (Somebody Punch Me for that Pun)

"Our Town" (Neo-Marxist Cult or Communist Town? You make the Call!)
An hour before the incident...

Starlight Glimmer waltzed through her perfect town as she reveled in how well she had done her job of creating true harmony. She never got tired of that feeling. It was intoxicaing. The feeling of being the be-all end-all of this select group of wayward souls. That fool who had decided to leave her the moment he got his cutie mark was of no importance to her anymore. This was enough. Her vision of a perfect world.

She did manage to cast a sour eye on four particular equestrians. These ones seemed to be acting up for no good reason (her town was perfect and that was final). The first of which was Double Diamond. He was, for the most part, complacent, but she would see him use that damn awful surfer slang occasionally. Not normal, in her book. The next was Night Glider. Starlight was pretty sure she was a fillyfooler. Something very forbidden in her town, among other things. The one serving perfect (read: awful) pastries was Sugar Belle. She just didn't appreciate how perfect her cooking was, it seemed. Finally, there was Party Favor. Stupid balloons. She always hated them. Too much static.

Nevertheless, despite these...slight imperfections, she was content with the state of her town. Still, it would be nice to share this town's beliefs further. Maybe even create a harmonious civilization. She heard through the grapevine recently that a princess was living among mere mortals, after all...

Her thoughts were broken when a red light streaked across the sky. Despite the huge smiles on everypony's faces, they too felt intimidated. An unholy screech resounded through the air. Whatever this comet-like thing was, it seemed to spell 'trouble'. Heck, she swore she saw a blimp get cleaved in half by the thing.

"Stand back, everypony. I've got this." Starlight got out her staff. "No creature, big or small, ever lays a claw or something on our town."

Suddenly, the red comet turned tail and flew up high into the sky. It vanished above the clouds, confusing everypony...before it suddenly dive-bombed straight down. With a mighty explosion and several destroyed buildings in its wake, the thing had landed. When the dust had settled, Starlight bore witness to a frightening new sight.

It was a huge silver-metallic dragon with a falcon-like head and the strangest wings she had ever seen. They looked like jet-turbines that glowed with angry-red light and even had some wicked blades attached to them. It looked at Starlight with a mixture of malice and hunger.

"Savage beast! Get out of our town or I shall show you the proverbial door!" Starlight threatened, despite being intimidated by this unfamiliar sight.

"Excuse my Valphalk. He's not of your universe. Neither am I or my assistants, really." A voice spoke as the creature calmed. Riding atop the dragon was a tall cloaked figure. Not a single trace of his actual appearance could be seen. Only his black shroud and a slightly humanoid looking figure could be discerned without a doubt. He got off his saddle and hopped down the ground.

"And whom might you be?" Starlight asked, her staff radiating with intense magic.

"I...am nobody, as far as you are concerned. Or nopony, as you would put it." The figure responded, his male voice smooth and calm. "I have come on a mission. A scientific mission. It's rather important I use this town as my base of operations if I am to conduct such an experiment."

"So...you've come seeking help for whatever project you're drumming up?" Starlight asked. "Well, I guess we can arrange something. You've got to know the rules around this town, first. In song form!"

"NO! None of that! Shame on you!" A slightly cybernetic and much more deep voice yelled in anger. To Starlight's surprise, there were three more figures covered in black cloaks. She took note that one of them was quite large and hunched. And seemingly drooling. Ew.

"Look. Let's cut straight to the point." The figure stepped forth. "You have two choices. Submit and allow us to conduct all that we please here, with you as our subjects...or face our wrath. It's rather simple."

"I get it. You want to take over our town and turn us into slaves." Starlight chuckled a bit. "Keep dreaming. Even with that dragon of yours, you still don't hold a candle to my magic. I've spent years perfecting it! You?"

"Trust me. I won't need my magic or even my Valphalk here to help me gain control here. As a matter of fact, I'm starting rather small by choosing this area. I could have picked somewhere more important like...I dunno, Canterlot? I'm not dumb, though. So, this place is fair game." The figure pointed out.

"What he's trying to say is...you're fucked." One black-cloak guy pointed out. "Better hope we don't have to remove our hoods. Please do. I think I'm chafing."

"And I think you've said enough!" Starlight fired a blast of powerful magic at the lead black cloak guy...only for it to fade away before it could make its mark. "What the?!"

"Like I said." The leader stranger said as he and his "Valphalk" walked away from the scene. "Gigan. Scrapeater. New guy. You know what to do. I'll just wait here alongside Jetstorm while you make yourselves comfortable."

"Finally! The gloves come off!" The talkative black cloak guy exclaimed before the tree removed their cloaks. What they revealed managed to make everypony drop their smiles and gasp in horror. Starlight immediately knew she was in over her head.

"Emissary of Death, GIGAN!"

The talkative one revealed himself to look utterly metal and terrifying at the same time. He was a black and silver cybernetic space chicken, as one would say. Only, he had razor sharp teeth, a visor-like red mono-eye, a small red circle above that, horns and spikes along his back/knees/tail, 3 vertical membranous red folds constituting for wings, hands that were just really thick sickles, a vertical chainsaw for a chest, and a long tail that ended in a wicked spear-like object.

"Emissary of Torment, SCRAPEATER!"

The hunched and drooling figure let out a horrible wail/screech as he revealed himself to be a hulking machine that resembled a beetle in some capacity. His face also had a red mono-eye and sharp teeth, but he also had some mandibles, razor sharp claws, and a pair of bug-like wings. She had remembered this from a book about a neighboring planet, Cybertron. It was a stock Insecticon. Not special like Bombshell, Shrapnel, or Kickback, but still dangerous.

"....."

The other one just revealed another black cloak underneath his original one. He also didn't speak a word.

"Dammit. You're still gonna be like this?" Gigan asked his slightly taller compatriot. "C'mon. This is a team-effort. Why the silent treatment?"

"As a wise Insecticon once said, talking during battle is considered a sign of weakness." Scrapeater pointed out.

"Fair enough, actually." The kaiju (whom, suspiciously, wasn't the size of a building at the moment, BTW), then scraped his sickle-hands against each-other. "You still think you can defeat us, you commie ass?"

Starlight just quickly waved. "Sucks to be all of you guys! Kiss my flank, peasants!" She pathetically said before trying to run off. Suddenly, Gigan teleported right in front of her.

"Running away when things get bad? I know how you feel. However..." He decked her in the neck with the blunt end of his hand, knocking her out. "...I've got a job to do."

"At least, they're not smiling creepily anymore." Scrapeater admitted.

"What...what are you gonna do now?" Double Diamond asked, now free to voice his opinion.

"Can you just let us go? I wanna see my parents again." Night Glider pleaded.

"Apologies, but I would suggest going on with your daily activities in this town only as I set up my laboratory in...that building." The lead black cloak guy pointed to Starlight's house. "Trust me. We will need your services in a moment."

"Whatever the fuck that means." Gigan crossed his arms as he and his teammates followed their leader.

"Wait! Who are you?" Sugar Belle asked.

"Like I said. I am nobody." The leader said as he dragged Starlight behind him. "But I suppose you can call me...The Alchemist."

"Dun, dun, duuuuuun." If Gigan could roll his eye, he would. "Seriously. That felt forced."

"Yeah. I agree." Sparkeater shrugged. "How about you, new guy?"

Once again, only silence was given. "Ugh. They don't pay me enough for this. Then again, I'm betting this is as crazy as it gets. Smooth sailing from here on out." Gigan concluded.

"Did you just jinx us?" Sparkeater asked as the mysterious group entered Starlight's home.

"Maybe. I don't care, really. Let's just get this job over with." The kaiju replied.

Amorous Nightclub (Back at the Plot)
A few minutes after the incident...

Right now, Dustin was trying to think of how many ways this first contact with aliens from another dimension (or universe, if what he heard from the purple unicorn was true) could go wrong. A musical track that causes their heads to explode? Some random "-inite" or "-nium" thing that caused them to weaken or go crazy? Water acting like acid towards their skin?

"Dude. Can we hurry this up along?! Hiding in this car is boring!" Vareoth complained.

"Nah. I wanna see where this goes. Last time I checked, my first words to the pink one over there didn't go so well." Dustin replied. "Oh, shit. I think the purple one said she knows magic."

"What? You mean like standard 'Care Bears' bullshit?" Var asked snidely.

"Probably. Probably not. Just give this a few more minutes, 'kay?" Dustin asked.

"So...your world is like our world, but with magic and dragons and unicorns and shit?" Kane asked.

"Not the way I would have put it but...well, it's a bit more complicated." Twilight Sparkle continued. "We would love to...how can I put this?"

"Take us to your leader." Spike interjected. "No, we're not here to invade. We just got through explaining that. However..." His eyes drifted up to the nightclub's sign. "You don't mind if, tonight or some other night, we visit? There aren't many nightclubs in Equestrian and none in Ponyville."

"First off, I'm pretty sure our president is too busy tweeting his ass off because some guy called him out on his asshole behavior." Kane shrugged.

"It's true! You can't turn on the news without his ugly mug ruining our country." Zenith sighed. "I don't care what he says. You folks seem nice. Welcome to our world." He extended a hand to Twilight. "Nice getting acquainted with you."

"Same here." Twilight replied as she shook. "I'm just glad this meeting is going smoother than I would have thought."

"Can I come and sing the song now?" Pinkie asked from behind.

"Look, we'll check out your town later." Coby said. "I bet it's fun and all, but I just got here and I'm not wasting another opportunity."

Spike, noticing the outfit Coby was wearing, got an idea. "Do tell."

"You curious? Well, cutie..." Coby got a bit closer. "Why don't you find out tonight? Bring your friends! It'll be fun!"

"Annnnd we're done here." Twilight reeled Spike in. "So, in order to further establish a good relation with your world, how about I talk with one of you tonight at this place? Not the first option I would have picked, but you'll be happy to know that my world isn't a stranger to more...carnal needs." She rubbed her shoulder at that.

"Sweet." Zenith stepped forth. "I nominate me. You'll know me when you see me."

"Ooh! I smell a party in the works!" Pinkie's head stretched all the way until it was face-to-face with a freaked-out Kane. "There gonna be cake? Oh, you'll love the ideas I have in store for-"

"Pinkie! Ugh. I'll handle this. See you tonight! I'll tell the others!" Twilight said as she had to pull the two by their tails with her magic.

"OUCH! Do you really have to?!" Spike asked.

"Anything to keep you two in check." Twilight said sternly.

The portal closed, though the tear in space/time remained. It still glowed with an unearthly aura that would sent chills down any regular Joe's spine.

"So...what did we learn?" Zenith asked Kane.

"Magic's real. Cased closed." The saurian replied. "Best case scenario, we have a few more regulars."

"Worst case?" Coby asked.

"We end up dealing with forces beyond our comprehension. But what are the chances that sci-fi/fantasy bullcrap's gonna matter? You heard them when we asked about weapons. They don't have any guns." Kane said.

"Dude. Is it EVER a good idea to underestimate like that?" Dustin butted in.

"For once, I agree with you." Vareoth said as the both of them got out of the car. "As my dad used to say, never trust an alien."

"First off, I think your dad was being racist. Not gonna sugarcoat it for you." Zenith growled. "Second, let's just see where this goes. No use panicking, right? Plus, that Sugarcube corner sounds tasty..."

Dustin couldn't help but think about that lithe purple wingless dragon that accompanied the alicorn (if that's what the purple one called herself). He seemed pretty cute. His thoughts diminished when Vareoth cast a sour look at him, as if he anticipated he would do that.

'Every-time.' Dustin sighed in his mind.

Canterlot Castle (Pretty much wearing a big neon target stating 'Invade Us' to potential baddies)
A few minutes before the incident...

Two guards, Solar Spear and Solar Shield, stood outside the gate of the castle. Their expressions were of that becoming of a guard. Namely, neutrality at its finest. What is really was, however, was just plain boredom. You'd think after Tirek's invasion they'd be glad for the peace and quiet.

"So..." Solar Spear asked his compatriot. "Ever tried suggesting we install some magical shields in case of another attack?

"Nope." Solar Shield replied.

"So...ever wanted to fuck the princess at some point? You should see what she's wearing currently! It's like she wants to get rutted."

"Nope."

"So...what about Luna? She's younger, though a bit more chaste."

"Nope."

"Is that all you're going to say?"

"Nope."

"Try me."

"Nope."

It was at that moment Solar Spear just threw up his hands and gave up when a large shape started forming in the horizon. There was fire and smoke trialing it. To make matters worse, it was getting closer. The skies seemed to darken as it flew through them. An ill omen, indeed.

"Uh, Shield? You wanna explain what the heck's coming our way?"

"Nope."

"Oh, for the love of both Equestria and Cybertron-"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAARGH!" A loud roar shook the very castle as a stream of flames erupted from the sky, nearly incinerating the two guards. The citizens of Canterlot were in full-panic mode as they ran through the sprawling town.

As Solar Spear sounded the alarm, Solar Shield managed to get a good look at the creature., who had suddenly landed in front of the moat. It was a dragon about as big as three princesses stacked onto each-other. It was covered in large bone-like armor that covered crimson-red skin that burned like embers. It's long tail ended in an axe-like shape and fire lined the spine of it up until the head. Its wings were skeletal, but the membrane that connected the 'fingers' was pure flame. Its skull was also skeletal-like, featuring sharp teeth and some wicked bull-like horns.

"Stand your ground! We have a dragon!" Solar Spear shouted, though he had to wonder. Dragons usually attack from above first. Sure, this one did so, but not as effectively as one should. Why stand as far away from the center of activity as possible?

His question was answered when the beast clenched a clawed fist and made a berserker rush for the gates. Despite the moat being lifted at the moment, the dragon broke through into the town. It practically flung itself through the moat.

On one hand, this meant the citizens had something to truly fear on this very day. A dragon that focused on rampaging on foot and smashing everything in its path with sheer bulk and ferocity.

On the other, Celestia had just gotten word. And, unlike most rulers, she was not afraid to get her hands dirty on the battlefield. Firstly, though, the rest of the guards had to deal with it. Including Solar Shield and Solar Spear.

The beast had a clear escape route or two. Flight or just rampaging through some buildings to get away from the guards, who had arrived with all the spears and magical power they could muster.

Instead, it just turned to the armed forces and let out a roar that managed to knock the first few lines of guards off their feet. If it was a battle the monster wanted, it was a battle it got.

Friendship Castle (Still working the new name)
Present...

"Alright, everypony. I have now officially declared this meeting open." Twilight said as she and the rest of the Mane 6, as well as Spike, sat down. Gilda just leaned against the wall, a bit intrigued but still bored.

"Guess what, guys? We're in a crossover!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Isn't that great?!"

"I dunno. From what I hear, you can find guys like them around Equestria. I mean, not that I wouldn't mind giving there place a spin, but...eh. Could have been better or worse." Dash said.

"Dash has a point. There's no need to be concerned." Rarity said. "We already know there exist other worlds and even universes out there. You taught us that much, Twilight. About the Multiverse, that is."

"Wait, they actually listen to all your techno-babble?" Gilda asked as she walked over to Fluttershy.

"It's hard, but you get used to it." Dash said.

"Can you not?" Twilight groaned. "While Rarity does bring up a point, there's a chance that their world also contains hidden terrors like ours does."

"Doesn't that kinda sound paranoid?" Applejack asked. "I betcha nothin' comes close to what we kicked the flank of back in our day. Or a few weeks, for that matter."

As Twilight retorted about how to not take any chances, Fluttershy felt a tap on her shoulder. "Hey." Gilda began with a cough. "Sorry I yelled at you back then."

"It's fine, actually." Fluttershy replied with a smile. "Dash told me everything. I think you were just going through a phase."

"Yep. She's a keeper." Gilda said. "Wait. How much did she tell you?"

"That she...well, she sort of found you the same way she found me." Fluttershy confessed. "We both were given hope by her when everyone else was acting mean towards us."

"Sure. Yeah, I guess." Gilda said. "Let's just say those assholes weren't bugging me for long." To emphasize her point, she flexed her razor sharp talons, causing the pegasus to cringe. "Relax. I'm fucking with you. Me and Dash just pranked them to holy Tartarus. Shame, too. They were rather cute behind all that bravado."

"Violence doesn't solve everything, but I suppose that was harmless. I think." Fluttershy said. "Still, doesn't this scare you a bit? What if Twilight's right? There are other villains out there?"

"Then we'll send them packing. For this week and probably the next, you've got me on your side." Gilda patted her shoulder. "By the way, before you ask, no. Dash isn't taken. You can have her."

"Eh?!" The butter-yellow pegasus put a hand to her mouth. "It's not like that! We dated for only two months. It just...wasn't working." She sighed sadly.

"Shame. I've seen her. She's got the endurance to pleasure a mare for three nights straight. It's okay. She's not my type, either. We've all got our tastes." The griffoness emphasized.

"Thank you for understanding, Gilda." Fluttershy replied.

"Alright. It's settled." Twilight finished. "We'll make our way to Amorous tonight. Make sure to mingle, but don't do it so overtly. We need to show them that we mean them no harm."

"Pretty sure they already know that." Rarity said.

"I've better bring my best suit there! Trust me! I think you're gonna love it." Pinkie wiggled her eyebrows in a slightly seductive manner.

"I said not to do it over-oh, nevermind." Twilight facepalmed. It was little secret that Pinkie's sex drive was utterly through the roof when it wanted to be. Just like that damn Pinkie sense.

"Sign me up!" Spike agreed.

"Suppose it couldn't hurt." Applejack shrugged. "Just know that any no-good varmit that tries to touch Rares over here get's kicked all the way to the moon."

"What's the matter? Worried some handsome rogue or beautiful temptress will lead me astray?" Rarity teased.

"Oh, gosh darnit." Applejack rolled her eyes before giving her marefriend a kiss. "See you tonight, hon."

"Okay. Operation 'Get Big Mac Away from my Best Friend for a Few Minutes' is on hold." Dash whispered to Gilda.

"Good idea. I mean, look at those legs! I don't need the mental image of you snapped in half haunting me." Her companion agreed, causing Dash to wince a bit.

"Alright. I'll come along too. I'll just...grab something to eat there." Fluttershy sighed. She silently prayed that Dash wouldn't hook her up with any of the patrons. Now was not the time for that. Or ever, evidently.

Suddenly, a certain gray pegasus mailmare crashed through the roof, carrying a letter. "Oops! My bad!"

"Seriously, Ditzy?! Again?!" Dash exclaimed. "That's the fourth hole you've made!"

"Dash! Calm down! This looks important." Twilight said as she helped Ditzy up. "I would suggest, though, a different approach, next time."

"Sure thing, princess!" Ditzy saluted before flying out of the hole.

"Well, what about it?" Spike asked Twilight.

"It's a distress letter!" Twilight exclaimed. "Canterlot is under attack! We have to move quickly!"

"I've got an idea!" Pinkie suggested as she brought out her party cannon. "Everypony hop inside!"

"Well, it was nice knowing you, Dash, but I've gotta jet." Gilda said, not wanting to know where this was going.

"Trust me. I'll live." Dash replied before sticking herself in the cannon along with the rest of her friends, minus Spike.

Pinkie used a plunger to send all of them down before plugging the cannon with her rump. "Ready, Spike?"

"This is a shithead idea." Spike muttered before getting out a match. "Fire in the hole!"

One burnt fuse later, the ponies were sent hurtling into the distance. Pinkie rode atop the body pile as it screamed into the sky.

"So...wanna make out?" Gilda asked Spike, still focused on her dilemma from a chapter ago.

"Sorry. Not into girls, but thanks for asking." The dragon rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"....Damn."

"My Town" (Egomaniacal, much?)
Present...

"So...what now?" Gigan asked as he and his two teammates sat in one of the bakeries.

"That is for our master to decide." Scrapeater held up a finger. "For now, I suppose training and eating will suffice."

"Have you seen the food here? It tastes like shit. Then again, it's subject to change now that tall-dark-and-mysterious took out the leader, if you can call her that." The kaiju admitted.

"W-would...would you like some cupcakes?" Sugar Belle nervously asked as she handed a plate with some awful looking pastries.

"Okay, seriously, there's got to be a way get back your ass tattoos." Gigan said. "Eh. I'm sure the Alchemist is working on it. How about you, new guy?"

Once again, no words were spoken from the cloaked figure. He did, however, give Sugar Belle a tip, earning a smile from her.

"You're paying for this shit? Well, at least that gives SOME hint of what you're like." Gigan said. "The whole silent-treatment thing ain't gonna work in the long run. For now, I guess we'll just have to chillax." He leaned against his chair in boredom.

"Fear not. We shall challenge this planet's strongest, as our master promised. It will be glorious!" Scrapeater clenched his fist. "What did he promise you?"

"Work. That's it." The kaiju replied. "Dunno how I got here, but I got just that. So, that's all that matters. Still. You gotta wonder what he's doing to Starlight in her own home."

"Why do I suddenly feel a feeling of dread creep over me? I don't like it!" The insecticon growled.

"Yeah...me too." Gigan admitted, feeling a chill go over his spine. The New Guy just remained silent as he drank his rancid tea.

As the threesome hung around, Sugar Belle regrouped with the other three ponies mentioned previously. "He tipped me! Nopony's ever done that before!"

"I think I heard a promise to get our cutie marks back!" Party Favor smiled. "Maybe they aren't so bad after all! Kinda wish the chicken guy didn't call them 'ass tattoos' but let's take what we can get."

"I dunno. That Alchemist dude's suspicious as all Tartarus. To day nothing of that robot bug." Double Diamond said.

"Diamond's right. Some random cloaked guy comes riding on a dragon, takes this town for his own, and lets his sinister minions roam about? Standard supervillain plot." Night Glider said.

"Let's just lay low, okay? Just act naturally and maybe, just maybe, he'll do something nice for all of us." Party Favor suggested. "Besides, now that Starlight's gone..." He leaned towards Diamond, giving him a kiss on the lips. "We can have some fun."

"Sure thing, bro. See you guys tonight. We'll just keep watch." Diamond said as he took Party's hand and walked out with him.

"Huh. Didn't see that coming." Night Glider confessed.

"Yeah, I knew those two were close but...nevermind. Aren't you gay, too?" Sugar Belle asked.

"Well, kinda. I'm still figuring that out." The pegasus replied. "Let's just keep watching. You never know what could happen."

What could happen? Well, let's look at how Starlight is doing. As of now, her basement was being filled to the brim with various pieces of arcane lab equipment. Test tubes, forbidden tomes, beakers, jars of corrupted substances, you name it.

"How could you do this?! I created harmony! You're ruining everything!" Starlight yelled at the Alchemist as he finished unpacking. At the moment, she was chained to the wall, wearing only her lingerie. "And why did you have to rip off my clothes?!"

"I'm the one who asks questions. Not you. After all, I am a scientist at heart." The Alchemist replied as he turned to her. "Your words amount to nothing. Your screams will not be acknowledged. The populace here seems to think I've done them a favor. Pretty soon, that notion will increase when I release the cutie marks. Then, my research can truly begin."

"Cutie marks bring disorder and chaos! Equality is the way-"

"As a man of science, I find your worldview repulsive. Variability is what gives us the drive to research and question. Equality just makes the world stagnant and...well, for lack of a better term, boring." The Alchemist said as he got out a vial containing red liquid. It had a cartoonist devil-face on it for identification. "As of now, you will be regulated to nothing more than a side-project of mine."

"What's that?! What do you think you're doing?!" Starlight struggled in anger. "I will not be humiliated by this!"

"Rest assured. In, perhaps, a day or two, you will care not for this trivial thing you call your town. You will feel no shame, either, if my hypothesis is correct." The Alchemist assured as he grabbed her face in a vice grip. "You should be honored. You are the first of many that I shall conduct my studies on. My first test subject in a long time. Now...drink."

He held the opened vial above her mouth, but she had clenched her jaws shut, refusing a single drop. "Pity." The Alchemist sighed before kicking her in the stomach. With a pained gasp, she was left open to the liquid, as it poured down her throat. She was going to spit it out, but her enemy just grabbed her head and shifted it upward, causing it to cascade down her throat.

"If you had not resisted, that would have gone so much easier. Compliance is key to a happy life under my care." The Alchemist chided calmly. "I wonder if the effects of my Incubus vial will be instantaneously. Perhaps it will be slow? Will it give you increased or decreased intelligence? Enhanced speed? Flight? So many questions. However, I know the answer to one..."

"What...what do you-ACK!" She felt a burning sensation in her crotch. Her panties were starting to become wet. Something was causing her to have two orgasms at the same time. She cried out in reluctant pleasure as she came that amount of times. "That's it? An aphrodisiac? I've seen more dangerous stuff back in my Canterlot days!"

"Oh, but you didn't let me finish." The Alchemist chuckled. "That question? Here it is. Will the subject become so complacent that she will soon swear her undying loyalty to me in exchange for what your newly found base desires call for?"

Starlight would have retorted, but she suddenly came again five more times. During the third one, her panties began to stretch. She looked down in panting horror as she felt a new two-foot long appendage stretch her underwear until the panties just fell to the floor. Her clitoris had stretched and thickened into a fully functional cock, just minus the balls.

"The answer...is YES." The Alchemist turned his back to the mare-turned-herm as he slipped back into the shadows of the basement. "I have some notes to fill out. I'll check in with you in two hours. This is already yielding interesting results. It's not often one transforms into a herm from just that amount of formula. Congratulations." With that, he was gone.

"NO!" Starlight looked in horror at her throbbing member. "NOOOO! Get it off me! I don't want a cock! I don't want this! Come back and I'll do anything you say! Hello?! HELLO?!" She suddenly felt the urge to come again as her breasts started to shrink. "SOMEPONY HELP ME!!!"

Nopony would hear her. Not even after she came yet again, her spunk covering the cold now-metallic floor. "Oh, no..." She moaned as she felt another orgasm coming.

Canterlot Castle (Shit's going down, bro!)
Present...

"All in favor of never doing that again, say I." Twilight weakly rose a hand up as she stood up from the landing.

"I!" All but Pinkie agreed.

"C'mon, guys! We're here, right?" Pinkie asked, no worse for wear.

"I would say I broke my nails getting here, but I think I should be more worried if my bones are still intact or not." Rarity said as she dusted herself off.

Fluttershy just kept screaming internally as if the trip here was still going on.

"Don't worry, Fluttershy. Ride's over. Now, we can get to the real action." Dash said.

"Ah think we may have gotten here a bit late." Applejack pointed to the devastation in front of them.

Canterlot, so it seemed, had been turned into a smoldering ruin. There were no corpses, but there were plenty of defeated guards laying all about. Their armor was ruined, some of their bones were broken, and a good few had severely burnt bodies. The buildings looked utterly destroyed and mangled, as well as burnt.

"Damn. Whatever came here really went to town." Dash remarked. "Now, somebody point me in that monster's direction! After Tirek, we can handle anything!"

"Strangely, I'm detecting no signs of death." Twilight commented. "Either everyone evacuated in time or this monster's explicitly making sure he doesn't kill anypony else."

"Nah. I blame it on the ratings system on TV. Then again, we did kinda joss that when Spike started masturbating, so you've got me." Pinkie said.

"I'm rather glad he didn't hear you say that. I'm not even going to ask how you even know that." Rarity commented.

Fluttershy then noticed one of the guards was still conscious, crawling over towards her and reaching out. "Oh my gosh! Are you alright?" The pegasus leaned in, helping him up, despite the heavy armor.

"Rrrrrg..." Solar Spear groaned. "The dragon...it went after Celestia..."

"Rest easy there. We've got this covered." Applejack took over in helping him get back on his hooves.

"Pity." Rarity said. "Celestia's probably made short work on the fiend."

"Hit the dirt!" Dash shouted as a large shape descended from the sky and crashed into the ground.

"It's come back!" Solar Spear screamed. "We're doomed!"

"NOPE! SO MUCH NOPE!" Solar Shield shouted as he limped out of the way.

"It's alright. I've finally found it." A stern and motherly voice said from above before landing as well. It was Princess Celestia herself, decked in revealing, but still powerful armor. Her hand was sizzling with powerful magical energy.

"Celestia! Thank goodness you're okay." Twilight said. "What happened?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!" The dragon rose from the hole it had inadvertently created from its fall. It climbed out and spread out its wings to intimidate the newcomers and its newest foe.

"That happened." Celestia simply said.

"Hey, ugly! You came to the wrong neighborhood!" Dash taunted as she quickly flew above him. "Huh. Never seen any dragon like you before. You from Tartarus?"

"GRAGH!" The dragon growled as he attempted to swat at the pegasus, but predictably missed. "Bet you couldn't hit the broad side of Applejack's barn!"

"Don't give him ideas!" Applejack protested.

"Enough!" Celestia spread out her arms, releasing a heat-wave that hit the beast square in the face. This just seemed to annoy it, this time. "Leave now and be spared. Fight and you'll force my hand to end your life before anypony else gets hurt."

"Incredible. A dragon actually going out of his way to challenge Celestia?" Twilight said to herself. "This hasn't happened in Equestrian history since the dawn of her reign."

"Who are you talking to?" Pinkie asked. "And how do you know it's a he?"

"Easy on the monologing, Twilight. I suppose we're going to have to fight for our lives." Rarity said as she prepared a magical orb in her hand. Twilight silently agreed, not only charging up her magic, but also not willing to describe how she just had to take a look at the dragon's crotch armor in order to explain. Too embarrassing.

Fluttershy, while terrified at the monster's hellish appearance, couldn't help but be fascinated by how strong he looked. Still, the desire to help her friends came first.

"Stand...down." Celestia said more firmly to the dragon, who simply stood on his four legs in defiance.

"SONG CUE!" Pinkie shouted as the beast took a step forward, leaving a burning hole in the ground.

"Grrrrrraaarrgg...." He growled before his eyes started to glow. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRAAAGGH!!!" He fired a blast of fire at the entire group, causing an explosion and forcing them to scatter. Already the beast was moving about as Pinkie's prediction of lyrics came to be.

Twilight and Rarity disoriented the beast with magical blasts, while Dash focused on hitting the sides of his body over and over again. Pinkie was also firing her party cannon at his chest, as well as Applejack kicking pieces of rubble at the monster. Celestia was charging up a massive fireball spell as this transpired. She had that much faith in her pupil and her friends to distract and/or weaken the dragon.

Ganging up on the enemy may have been unfair, but, after Tirek, ending a conflict quickly was paramount.

A rush of blood! To my head! Leaves me winded and wanting!
To feel the weakness! In my body! Beaten and crushed like my soul!

As this happened, the dragon just kept taking the damage as he moved slowly through the chaos, covering his face with his claw to no avail. "What's the matter?! Can't take it all?" Dash taunted.

"GRAAAAH!" The dragon roared as he suddenly left his face open to attack and unleashed a fireball that sent Dash flying into the ground. As Applejack prepared a haymaker, the beast slammed his fist into her location, causing their attacks to collide and create a shockwave that knocked them both back a bit.

I walked the streets flirting death, but I never kissed back! I'm so lucky, so cursed, so fucked up!
But that's the way that it goes. Its the ebb and the flow. I wish that I could give you my time...Give you my TIME!

The monster quickly used his tail to slam onto the ground, creating many cracks that threw the entire group off-balance. Twilight used this opportunity to fly into the monster's head and keep hitting him with magical bolts, pushing back his head...

...until he literally headbutted her to the ground and roared to the sky in anger. When he came down, he nearly crushed his enemy, but Dash had zoomed in and got her out of the way.

Seems that Doomsday has come early this yeeeeear! The last angel has gooooooone!!!
I can't remember the last time I cried! The last angel has gone home!

"Nice work on the healing herbs, Flutters!" Dash thanked her friend, who was acting as medic. However, the butter-yellow pegasus was suddenly confronted with the beast's glare. He seemed to be curious as to why a peaceful creature would make her home in a warzone. That didn't stop him from focusing attention on the Princess. "GRAAAAGH!"

The memories stacking up! And they pull at my guts! What do I have to do to end it?!
The better days hacked away! Leaving me only pain! This regret is never ending!

"I hate taking life, but if I must..." Celestia said as she charged her orb to the fullest extent and fired it from her hand. It was as big as the dragon, who just glared at the incoming projectile and punched it, causing a mighty explosion that engulfed him in milliseconds.

But in the blink of an eye, This life passes you by! I wish that I could give you my time...Give you my TIME!

Before anypony could react, he had emerged from the smoke and, with a quick wave of his arm, flung his opposition out of his way. This also managed to shatter the party cannon to bits. Celestia fired a beam of solar energy into his face, but that only gave him the opportunity to grab her by the leg.

To Twilight and other's horror, he began to fling her up and down to the ground with fury. Not even a roundhouse kick from Applejack could stop him until he just threw the princess into a large destroyed building, bellowing "DOOM!"

Seems that doomsday has come early this year! The last angel has gooooooone!!! (ANGEL HAS GONE!)
I can't remember the last time I cried! (Last time I cried...) The last angel has gone home! (ANGEL HAS GOOOOONE!!!!)

"That's it! Time for Plan B!" Dash exclaimed as her wings began to flap at an alarming rate.

"Wait! You're not really going to-"

"Yep." Dash interrupted Fluttershy, who was tending to Celestia's wounds. "A Sonic Rainboom to the chest should do it!"

"That attack's too predictable! He'll dodge and crush us in that amount of time!" Twilight said as she kept firing powerful orbs of magic that the dragon just took like a boss. Speaking of him, he didn't seem to want to do anything until this attack came into fruition.

"Alright. He's clearly asking for it! Time to deliver!" Dash declared before zooming off into the distance.

I can't remember....I can't remember....I can't remember the last time I cried!

"Hurr?" The dragon looked confused...before a streak of rainbow-light came rushing towards him, blowing our heroes and various pieces of rubble away. "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAGH!!!" The dragon roared as his toe-claws dug into the ground.

"Give...Up...already!" Dash gritted her teeth as the power of her rainboom was forced to increase.

"You can do it, Dashie!" Pinkie waved as she and the others held on for dear life. Eventually, the dragon's chest cracked, causing him to roar in pain as rainbow light emitted from his mouth and eyes. "RAAARAAAAAAAGH!!!"

With the usual rainboom explosion, the beast was sent hurtling into the sky, roaring in defiance as he became nothing more than a twinkle. Thus, the song ended.

Seems that doomsday has come early this year....The last angel has gooooooone!!! (ANGEL HAS GONE!)
I can't remember the last time I cried!!!! (Last time I cried...) The last angel has gone home!
THE LAST ANGEL HAS GONE HOME!!! (ANGEL HAS GOOOOOOOOONE!!!)

The dust settled. Celestia and the others, while bruised and battered, weren't seriously hurt. Dash, on the other hand, had fallen to the ground, burnt and utterly exhausted.

"...How?" Dash muttered. "I mean, I won, but he just...he just took it for a good few minutes."

"I too wonder where that dragon came from. He was mightier and bolder than any mere wild animal I have faced in my lifetime." Celestia admitted.

"It's probably stupidity." Rarity confessed. "There's a difference between being brave and being simply idiotic."

"Whatever the case, that battle drained us of much power." Twilight rubbed her head as it ached from the severe amount she had to use.

"I'm sure he just needed a talking-to. A stern one, yes, but talking nonetheless." Fluttershy said as she helped Dash up.

"I shall look into this as I help with rebuilding Canterlot." Celestia said. "I fear that the dragon may have come from Tartarus itself. It would explain its demonic appearance. For now, I think establishing relations with that new world that opened up should be left to you."

"Understood, Celestia." Twilight said. "If he ever returns, just call us."

"NOOOO! You were taken before your time!" Pinkie mourned the loss of her cannon as her mane started to glow golden and she started shaking uncontrollably. She was about to scream as a surge of power came to her...before she went back to normal. "Oh, well! I'll just make a new one!"

"...Let's just go home." Applejack said.

"Yeah. I'm bushed. See you tonight." Dash said as she wobbled off the scene. "Scale of one to ten. How bad was he?"

"I'd say...7?" Rarity suggested.

"11?" Fluttershy added.

"Yeah, 7 sounds good." Dash agreed.

Twilight felt a bit uncomfortable about leaving Celestia and the rest of the populace here to pick up the pieces of this attack, but she supposed they knew what they were doing. She made a mental note to assist immediately when her mission was done. Right now, there were only 4 hours until the time came.

The time for, as Pinkie would put it, this crossover to truly get started.

"So..." Solar Spear asked his partner. "You wanna just label this as nothing but a boredom-induced hallucination?"

"Let me think about that...nope." Solar Shield replied. With that, Solar Spear groaned and facepalmed.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

Well, that just happened. An alchemist OC, his Monster Hunter XX dragon, a Godzilla kaiju, an Insecticon OC, and some silent guy just took center stage as the main villains.

For those wondering about the new dragon that attacked Canterlot, here's a good visual (Cherrera's honor: https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/the-rp-fear/images/6/6a/Demon_dragon_by_cherrera_ilustrador-d3ggk65.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140607040143). Trust me. That's not the last we see of him.

Not gonna lie, I really hate the whole redemption of Starlight Glimmer for how poorly executed they did it. I like seeing villains realize the errors of their ways, but I think almost every MLP critic has said it best. Basically, Apple Bloom handled her cutie-mark related troubles with far more dignity. Also, she didn't become the Rodimus Prime to Twilight's Optimus (mainly, stealing the spotlight every-time).

Up Next: At last! A night on the club! Beware. Gigan, Scrapeater, and the "new guy" have also arrived...

Chapter 3: Meet and Greet and Sneak

"My Town" (Fun Fact: "Make Equestria Great Again" was this town's original slogan)
Present...

Gigan looked over the horizon. The sun was setting and, as usual, it never failed to give a sense of beauty and wonder for the cyborg. 'Just think...' He thought. 'In a nano-second, this could all go away. Back to the blackness...no...remember the mission. Focus and you'll be oka-'

"You okay?" Night Glider asked, causing his head to turn.

"Yeah. Pretty much. Move along." He replied, a bit annoyed.

"Look, you're not from around here. I get that. Neither are your buds, but you mind telling us when you're gonna, I dunno, tell us what to do? We've been living under the thumb of Starlight for so long that...aw, who am I kidding? We're kinda lost." She confessed.

"Figure it out." Gigan dismissed. "Not my problem. Find a hobby or something."

"Without our cutie marks, we can't do much." She replied while running up to block his path. "We'd really appreciate it if you sought them out so we can truly be free."

The kaiju would have dismissed her further, but that actually caused him to chuckle. "Really? Fucking really? You're basing your self-worth on tattoos on your asses? Pathetic."

"They're what define us! I get why you wouldn't understand, but that was uncalled for!" She argued, more than a bit steamed.

"Listen, doll. I'll admit. You're better than the Black Hole Aliens in terms of venerating worthless items. They were asking a goddamned spoon for guidance when their planet was being sucked into the void. A freaking SPOON. It's a wonder how they managed to build giant robots and crap." He scraped his blades against each-other as he reminisced about previous alien races. "But enough about that. The point is, show some initiative. Just don't go too far from this town. The boss still needs you for...reasons."

Night Glider was still steamed, but she just crossed her arms and huffed. "Fine. Have it your way. I just...I was just thinking about the chance to be unique. To see if ponies can still be friends even with the absence of sameness."

"Okay, you know what? What did your ass-tattoo say you could do before?" Gigan asked, intending to end this dissension before it got out of hand.

"Cutie. Mark." Her eyes narrowed with each word. "Secondly, that's the problem! Starlight must have brainwashed us into forgetting! I'd give anything to figure it out! Although...I kinda remember somebody calling my flying skills 'swooper dooper'-" She quickly closed her mouth at that. "Shit! Forget I said anything!"

"Relax. I won't laugh. My parents were even more embarrassing, if you can believe that. Anyway, I get it. You want to be unique. All of you want to be unique. Well...go ahead." He shooed her with his blades. "Do something different. You're free to do what you will. Either accept freedom as completely overwhelming or use it to your advantage. Me? I'll just take care of mine while you take care of yours."

"...I guess." She supposed. "Thanks for not laughing. Party Favor wouldn't let me hear the end of it when I mentioned it to him."

"Yeah. Have a nice night." Gigan waved as she left for her house before he sighed. "Damn. How long did that Starlight bitch keep them under lock and key? At the very least, I'd rob a gas station with my newfound freedom. Oh, wait. That was me at age 7. Nevermind." Allowed entry by the Alchemist's force-field, he entered Starlight's house. "So, what did I miss?"

"Erm...our boss has news." Scrapeater said as they and the new guy entered the basement. Down there, the Alchemist was mixing chemicals and writing notes at the same time before he turned to them.

"Ah, my assistants. You are needed." He said as he stepped forth. "A portal has opened up in Ponyville. I want you, under cover of night, to enter and report your findings to me. Make sure you get back here before even a glimmer of sunlight touches the land."

"Sure thi-what the fuck?!" Gigan turned to the Alchemist's prisoner, Starlight Glimmer. At the moment, she was utterly worse for wear. Sweat was cascading down her body, she just couldn't stop panting, and her newborn cock was now sealed by a plastic harness that prevented her from cumming. "The hell is this?!"

"We'd prefer not to ask questions, morbid as this is." Scrapeater advised, though he too was disgusted. The New Guy just stared at this under his hood.

"Help...me..." Starlight pleaded as she started to thrust her hips again. "I need...pussy...or something...let me cum! Please! I can't take anymore!" She started to cry now. "I'm sorry! I'll tell you anything! ANYTHING! Just let me cum!"

"You think we should...you know? I know she's a bitch, but-"

"No." The Alchemist silenced Gigan. "After I allow her to release for a few more hours, I shall continue to study the effects my Incubus serum has on Equestrians. She's a prime candidate, due to her magic. Now, the mission briefing. You three shall enter this new realm with your disguises..." He handed a disc to each of the three. "Now, go forth and study hard. Especially you, Scrapeater. It might actually increase your intellect, if only by a pinch."

The Insecticon growled, but complied. "If only I had a hive..." He muttered. "TRANSFORM!" With that, he transformed into a large Hercules beetle machine and flew off.

"Does he have to keep doing that? Hmph. Cybertronians." Gigan shrugged before the New Guy suddenly took off into the sky. "You can fly?! Augh. Learn something everyday." With that, he took to the skies, as well.

"As for you..." The Alchemist grabbed another Incubus vial and walked over to his prisoner. "I simply cannot wait to try out the other vials on other inhabitants. Still, you should be happy. Feel free to release after this." He poured the contents down her gaping mouth and pressed a button on his remote control, releasing her cock.

"AHHHHHHH!" Starlight screamed as she came all over the floor. "Finally! Thank you! Thank you so mu...oooohhhh..." She groaned as the serum started to take effect even more. From her pussy underneath her cock came another cock. "Not another one...." She moaned. "I'm...I'm a monster..."

"No. But, from previous experiences, I suppose you'll have the intellect of one come morning. We'll see, though. We'll see." The Alchemist turned away. "For now, I'll just let my security cameras record the results while I head to bed. Early to bed, early to rise, makes one healthy, wealthy, and...well, I'm already wise, so that's redundant."

"No...come bahaaaaaaa!" She ejaculated once more, but with two cocks this time. "No more..." She started to feel her eyes droop. "Make it...stop..."

Outside, Party Favor swore he heard something from Starlight's house, but he dismissed it as he allowed Diamond to plow into him a seventh time.

"Oooh, Celestia! Fill my balloon up, Diamond! Fill 'er up!" He moaned.

"Dude, really?" Even the white stallion was perplexed by that quote. He still continued to cum into his lover anyway.

Amorous Nightclub (Where the purpose of this fanfic can officially begin)
Present...

"Well, girls. This is it." Twilight said as she and her friends stepped forth. Sure, they got a few stares here and there, but they didn't stick out like sore thumbs. "Seems pretty inviting."

"Hey, Dash." Gilda said as she stepped forth. "Thanks for inviting me. This should be interesting."

"No prob." Dash gave her avian friend a fistbump. "Who knows? Maybe you'll find a nice chick or hunk to protect you from those big bad griffons back at home." She teased that last part.

"Don't even go there." Gilda crossed her arms, not amused.

"Did you have to dress up like that, Rares?" Applejack turned her head to her marefriend, whom was dressed in incredibly tight sweats and a silk shirt that exposed her purple bra. "Not that I'm complainin' or anythin'."

"Now, now. You and I can have some fun after this later, but for now, I wish to just try this out. At the very least, it's far more conservative than what Pinkie's wearing." The seamstress pointed to the party pony, whom was wearing fishnet stockings, a thong, and an extremely tiny bra that only covered her perky nipples.

"What? It's my party suit! Remember?" Pinkie tilted 45 degrees towards Dash. "Remeeeeeeember?"

"Yeah. Crazy night. Almost got arrested." Dash chuckled. "Good times."

"Um, can I just...wait outside?" Fluttershy spoke up.

"Relax. Both guys AND gals come here." Gilda said. "If you don't want the D, just come for the P. No, wait. That came out wrong."

"I'm sure it did." Twilight said, trying to reign in Spike as she said this. "Let's just enter in an orderly fashion. We're trying to greet the locals, not exchange fluids."

"Are you kidding? Name ONE resident in our world living in celibacy!" Spike said as he looked upon all the hunky guys.

"Can we focus?!" Twilight narrowed her eyes before calming. "Sorry. Let's just go."

"Living as a virgin. Truly, a fate worse than death." Dash sighed. "Last I've heard, she doesn't even like pussy. Talk about narrowing down your options."

"She's got a point, though. Let's stop stalling and start moving." Gilda said as she headed towards the entrance.

"Oh, hey. It's you gals, again. And guy." Kane said as he allowed them entry. "Don't worry about it. You're good in my book...for now."

"Ooooh! Ominous!" Pinkie said before quickly darting in.

"And she's off." Applejack snarked.

"Guess what? She's not alone there!" Spike said as he also darted in. "Who's ready to hit the dance floor, guys?!" He called out.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. Then again, now's the time for fun!" Rarity said as she strutted in.

"Ah, shucks." Her companion sighed before following. Pretty soon, they were all in.

However, little did they know, they were being watched from the shadows.

"Alright. Ready?" Gigan asked his compatriots as they got out their discs.

"Ready." Scrapeater replied, speaking for the New Guy, as well.

"Good. And, New Guy, lose the hood after this. We're trying to observe, not get kicked out of the vicinity of every high school imaginable." The kaiju warned before pressing the center button on his disc. "Here goes nothing."

In a flash of light, the three were transformed in an instant. Gigan now was a reasonably fit wolf with black fur and leather clothes, complete with knuckle braces. He had his signature visor, just as eye-wear, though. Scrapeater turned into a black bear with a sweater and jean-shorts. The New Guy was wearing a yellow jacket that covered his entire face, as if he were preparing for an incoming storm.

"Seriously?!" Gigan groaned at the New Guy. "You're still hiding your face?! What?! Did you get chemicals splashed onto it or something?! Will it drive me mad?! I've hung out with King Ghidorah, for crying out loud! I'm pretty sure I can take it!"

"Can we get on with the mission, now?!" Scrapeater growled. "This disguise is making me feel vastly uncomfortable."

"Ugh. Fine. Let's just hope this doesn't blow up in our faces." Gigan concurred as they walked over to Kane. "Hey, bud. We'd like entry."

"Sorry, you're not on the list." Kane crossed his arms. "Sorry, boys."

"You dare refuse us?" Scrapeater extended his claws. They may have not been his Insecticon one, but bear claws were bear claws.

The New Guy simply rose his arm and clocked Kane on his neck, knocking him out cold. Anybody who would have been watching was too busy texting/talking/ogling.

"Eh. I could have done that. Nice work, though." Gigan shrugged. "Let's head in."

And so, both heroes and (sorta) villains had entered. What else would you expect from your average ordinary nightclub? It was large, spacious, had a host of rooms (especially private ones), blared bland dubstep, and was covered head to toe in people dancing/flirting/stripping/drinking/all four at the same time. Yep. Nothing much.

Twilight Sparkle, taking note of this, was just exploring the area, separating herself from the group. She mentally felt like kicking herself for letting Spike out of her sight, but he was a big dragon. No longer was he the baby she once knew. He could make his own decisions. Then again, there'd be Tartarus to pay if Spike got even one STD. Whoever gave him that would never see the light of day again (probably).

She diverted herself from her sentimentality as she entered one of the many rooms in the area. Much to her surprise (and interest), this room's residents were enthralled by a canine stripper with a tail that appeared to be sentient and carnivorous at that.

"Hey. Take a picture. It'll last longer." The stripper smirked as she swung her thick hips in the alicorn's direction. The tail just smiled as well and licked its lips with its yellow tongue.

"Maybe another night." Twilight politely replied as she headed up the stairs. As she continued on her way, she was suddenly stopped by the arm of an skimpy redhead avian-horse hybrid (basically, a regular avian with a horse tail). He looked rather smug as he examined her.

"Can I help you?" Twilight asked, ready to use her magic in case this was going where she thought it was. Back in Ponyville, it was considered suicide to force yourself on a princess (unless it was Celestia, whom would show that peon such a good time that it could traumatize even the most experienced stallion/mare). Even the usual mare could have an ability that could come close to a well-deserved castration.

"Hey! Zenith! This that alien girl you met?" He asked to a familiar face. It was Zenith, the green/black dragon bouncer that had greeted her into this new world.

"Rose, might I ask what you're doing?" He asked, his arms crossed. Twilight had to admire how professional he looked, despite the possible obscene scenarios of what on behind closed doors here.

"Nothing much. Just the start of a little game." Rose replied. Twilight still stood around as he leaned into the larger male's chest and started whispering things. She could see that this Rose fellow was obviously attracted to the dragon, but whatever he was filling his head with was...suggestive, to say the least.

"Eh. Fair enough." Zenith turned to her, coughing before speaking. "Oh, hey. It's you again. I recognized you when I saw that usual cute look of yours."

Despite his stilted delivery, Twilight felt a small blush at that. "Thank you, Zenith. I brought my friends over, as promised. They seem to be behaving themselves nicely enough. Even Pinkie. I hope."

"Yeah, me too. But enough about them. How about you?" He smirked as his almost hypnotic green eyes bored into Twilight's own. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. "Give me a sec." He turned to the guy next to him. "So, Rose? This is kinda new, you picking out a girl and all, but is she also what we're looking for?"

That part confused her a bit. The one they've been looking for? She stepped back a bit as they started to converse. "Yeah, she's cute and all, but remember who's number one here." Rose replied. "It's just that a girl makes a perfect 'number two' in any relationship. Literally and figuratively."

That last part made her wince. What the heck was this jackass talking about? Did he just compare her to excrement AND some kind of rebound-girl or something? "You mind explaining what that was about?" Twilight raised an eyebrow, very much not amused.

"Oh...oh, gee." Zenith's face looked rather guilty now as he scratched the back of his neck. "I think this warrants an explanation. I don't usually do that, but-"

"Let me handle this, darling." Rose butted in. "To be blunt, we're looking for a third party to make tonight even more...fun." He smirked even more at the thought. "Usually, we invite only cute guys, but I guess some experimenting is in order. So, up for a lil' romp? Probably the first one in your entire life, at that? One rule, though. You're cleaning up any messes we make. Wink, wink."

Zenith's cocky smirk ended for a bit, taking on a sullen look, before snapping back to normal when she made eye contact. "Um...yeah. How about it?"

Despite the promise of losing her virginity at long last, she knew the right answer. This was already looking like the set-up of a bad situation, so why make it worse? "Sorry, boys. I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to have to decline. Thanks anyway, though."

Rose's cheeky expression utterly fell. Now, he was glaring at his companion. "Are you fucking serious?! Zenith, you said you had 'charm' AND you've met this chick before, evidently! You just HAD to waste my time, didn't you?"

"But, Rose-"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Rose took a sip out of some soda from his pocket before tossing the rest of the contents on the dragon's shirt. "I'm gonna hang out with Zack and don't you bother coming. Ciao, bitches!" With that, he left.

Twilight was no stranger to watching couples argue and it was just as awkward right now as it was then. Zenith, however, had at least a small smile when he turned to her. It was obvious he was doing his best to compose himself, though. He looked quite down and no longer as cocky as he made himself out to be.

"Hey, I'm really, really, REALLY sorry about that. You didn't have to see what just happened." He apologized. "Mind if I buy you a free drink? I'm thinking about throwing in the towel for tonight afterwards."

"It's okay. I don't drink." She replied before walking up to him. "However, it would be my pleasure to spend at least a few moments with you. I don't sense any malicious intent within you, anyway."

"Wait. You can look inside my soul with your magic?" Zenith asked, intrigued as he sat down with her.

"You didn't call me 'number two'. That's why." She joked a bit.

"Yep." He replied. "So...it's just really nice that you, an official with power over magic itself, to be hanging out with a stranger like me." His expression fell for a bit. "So, uh, thanks. You wanna talk about, well, stuff? I'll listen."

"Well..." Twilight was nervous, as well. She had basically zero experience talking with guys like these, especially in an atmosphere like this. Let's just say interviews with Twilight tend to lead to plenty of notes being flung into the air and some stuttering. "We're not strangers anymore. So, please. Tell me a bit about yourself."

"Aw, thanks." He bucked up after that. "Well, for starters, I've been a bouncer of this establishment for quite some time. I've seen my share of crazy shit. You know, fights, breakups, orgies, and that one incident that almost resulted in a robbery."

"Wait a minute. Orgies?" Twilight's ears stood up at that. Her concern for her friends had come, in case such an event were to take place. Wasn't unlikely, given the...well, you get the idea.

"Don't worry. Takes me only a minute to put an end to one. Your friends should be fine." The dragon replied, content as Twilight's ears stopped tensing. "Anyway, about that robbery. Sure, they had a few switchblades and the VIPs they targeted froze like a deer herd in the headlights, but me and another bouncer took care of it with no problem. That time in law enforcement training really paid off."

"You trained to protect the populace at one point?" Twilight asked, intrigued. She blushed a bit when he casually flexed his bicep as he told that story. It didn't even come across as him acting like a show-off, either. It was, combined with how he was acting now, kinda humble in a way. "As in, you were a cop? Do tell."

However, Zenith's demeanor took a nose-dive, as he went pale as a sheet and froze in place. "Twilight...for my sake, PLEASE don't mention that. Forget I said anything, okay?"

A bit put-off by this, she nonetheless respected his wishes. He looked like he'd just seen the Nuckelavee, for Primus' sake. A subject change was in order. "Sure. We were talking about, well, orgies before. Did you know that Celestia, our ruler, once tried to run an orgy that almost spread across the globe until me and my friends had to calm her down? We had to use a banana the size of Manehatten, as well. It's just her thing. Don't question it."

Zenith's mood lightened immediately as the absurdity of that situation set in. "You serious?! That must have been freaking hilarious! Me? All I had to do was handle more orgies than anybody could handle in his/her lifetime! But that...THAT takes the cake!" His expression softened as he decided to start getting genuine. "You know...it feels like forever since I've last had an actually casual conversation with anybody. You know...just wanting to talk and nothing else. Ain't used to the feeling, but I'll take what I can get."

"Yeah. It's rather refreshing, in retrospect." Twilight agreed. "Maybe you could talk to others outside this environment and the chances of you making friends will grow strong. It's what I had to do and I'm proud of it to this day."

"Don't get me wrong. I have friends. It's just...they usually have to leave town and forget to leave, at least, a phone number. I, on the other hand..." He scribbled onto a random piece of paper and showed it to her. "I don't want to come off as forceful or anything, but, after tonight's shitshow, I need to unwind. Until then, here's my phone number. If you ever wanna hang out again, just give me a call. You okay with that?"

Normally, if anypony were to give her his/her phone number, there was usually the promise of just the honor of hanging out with a princess or more morally questionable motives, but Twilight was willing to give this guy a chance. "Alright, then." She said as she received it. "I'll try to stay in touch. Other than that, thanks." She shook his hand, though she winced a bit at how much strength was put into it. Did her hand just go numb?

"No problem. See you around." He smiled before heading downstairs. Deep inside, Twilight couldn't believe it. A guy, who had little idea on the perks of hanging out with a princess, just asked her out, basically. It was kinda intoxicating, actually.

"No, no. Keep it slow. Keeeeeep it slow." She repeated to herself. "Let's not act like a stereotypical school filly and call it a day. Then again, he was pretty cute...dammit. I sound like Spike." She sighed. Subconsciously, however, she hoped Pinkie wasn't doing anything too crazy. Or, at least, brought a condom.

Meanwhile with Rainbow Dash and Gilda...

"Ugh. This place smells like soured cider!" Dash complained as they stepped out of the club and into the slightly-less-occupied back lot of the club. "Also, somepony smoked WAY too much here."

"Better than having to smell the odor of a bunch of potential dweebs and listen to discount dubstep." Gilda said. "Also, fuck off. Smoking's cool. I've just never tried it before."

"Oh, yeah. Fliers like us TOTALLY need useless lungs." Dash sarcastically retorted. As they argued, the New Guy had also entered. Something about the mass crowd of people had discomforted him in some capacity, as he was shivering like a leaf. He calmed when he entered the cool night atmosphere. Despite his jacket, it still felt nice.

"You heard the griffon. Fuck off, dude. It's cool." A gruff feminine New England-ish voice cut through the argument. It managed to get their attention as they turned to the source of that retort.

She...or he...they were an orange husky with a nose ring leaning against the wall and smoking a cig. Apparently, their comment wasn't without reason. Dash was immediately drawn to the feminine-like thighs that their jeans brought out perfectly, but that remark was still a bit much.

"Can we help you or something?" Dash asked, hands on her hips.

"Eh. Nothing now. I was bored, that's all." They looked at Gilda with a slight smirk. "Then again, your friend IS kinda of a cutie, so, I guess that's it."

"Did you just call me cute?" Gilda asked. "It's the outfit, isn't it? Yeah. Kindred spirits and all that. I get it."

"You could say that." The husky blew out a smoke ring. "That, and your other friend seems to think so."

It was then that the Griffon noticed the New Guy standing right next to them. He seemed rather intrigued by the mammalian avian creature that he had never seen before. Wherever he came from, she was a rarity. A beauty in his eyes.

"Uh...hello?" Gilda said. "Dash, do whatever with the dog. I'll handle this."

"Have fun with that." Dash said before walking up to the husky. "So, what's a gal like you doing here? Bet the guys in the club would be all over you by now. They're doing a bang-up job of doing that to each-other already."

The husky laughed derisively before putting down their cig and replying. "Trust me, dude. I wouldn't be caught DEAD in there. Besides, this is the safest place to be. No bouncers to come and wreck my shit. Even if they're screwing each-other, they're always on the prowl."

"Going outside the law, are we?" Dash smirked. "Eh. I can get down to that. Right, Gilda? Gilda?"

At the moment, the griffon was trying to comprehend why this jacket-wearing stranger was staring so intently at her. "Buddy, you've got somewhere to be? 'Cause it ain't here." He just kept staring. "Well?! Say something!"

Before she knew it, a random male otter patron came up from behind her and groped her breasts. "What the fuck?!" She cried out.

"Titties! Sweet lustrous titties!" The obviously drunk patron moaned in pleasure as he ground against her stiff back and ass. Normally, she or Dash would show him how utterly shortsighted this error was in a fashion that involved your usual acts of righteous violence...

...had the New Guy not extended his arm out and sent the guy flying into the distance. The wind seemed to change direction after such a punch. The husky, Dash, and Gilda stared wide-eyed at the being, who just bowed in respect.

"Okay. That was pretty cool, dude." The husky admitted. "That was, like, one punch and he was out of there. Nice work."

"Gee...thanks, I guess." Gilda said as she still tried to comprehend what just happened. The New Guy simply patted her on the shoulder and stepped back a bit.

"Made me forget my plan to have a nice night ride with one of my friends has gone to shit because he hasn't replied in eons, it seems." The husky still kept up her relaxed attitude. "That punch, dude. That punch just made my day, though."

"That's great and all, but why do you keep saying 'dude'?" Dash asked.

"Why do you keep saying 'awesome'?" Gilda asked from the sidelines. The New Guy raised up his hands, as if to say 'burn!'.

"That's not fair! She hasn't said that once in this fanfic!" Pinkie's head burst out the door before slowly reeling back in. This caused a moment of silence to fall upon the group, except Dash, who just shook her head.

"...Whatever. A dude is a dude. It's not a gender thing, you know. Let's not turn this into a typical Tumblr discussion." The husky replied.

"Amen." Both Gilda and Dash replied. At this point, Gilda and the New Guy (for a given value) had joined in, moved closer. "If it helps, the name's Dash. Rainbow Dash." The pegasus said. "I'm a pretty big deal where I come from, but that's just me being me."

"With wings like that, I bet. I heard a bunch of aliens were showing up from that freakish portal, but you don't look like any space aliens I've seen on t.v. Just saying." The husky replied.

"Yeah. Charmed." Gilda huffed. "Anyway, I'm Gilda, BTW."

"Nice top." The husky chuckled, earning a small blush of angered embarrassment from the griffoness. "And who's tall, yellow, and silent?" They pointed to the New Guy, who just waved a bit.

"No idea. He's just...here, I guess." Gilda shrugged. "Nice arm, though. He can stay. Also, in hindsight, I can live with a guy that's not so damn mouthy." The New Guy shook his head in agreement.

"Can't argue with that. Anyway, I'm Lex. Care for a smoke to pass the time?" The husky asked.

The New Guy declined, shaking his head. Still, he extended his arm towards the club, as if to ask why they weren't in there and not here.

"There? Dude, you would probably wretch on how many assholes try to get into the pants of just about everyone." Lex confessed. "It's not worth your time."

"C'mon! Loosen up and live a little! Apart from the smoking, that is." Dash said. "I'm trying to teach Gilda that, anyway!"

"Yeah, not gonna happen. The last thing I need is mating with a poser." Gilda replied before he felt the New Guy tap her shoulder. "What?" She said before he offered a dandelion. "Uh...you flirting with me? I have seen flirting, but-"

"Awwww! He likes you already!" Dash made a kissy face.

"I'll say. That's one of the better hook-ups I've seen here." Lex said with a scowl. "Seriously. All that flashy-clothing, all those weak-ass gestures. It's gross and insulting. All of it."

"Don't forget the dumbass pick-up lines." Gilda got a bit closer before flexing her arm. "Who needs them? We'll just give them a free trip to the moon."

"Hah! You know what? You really do sound like you three mean business!" Lex smirked at that. "Congrats. You're on your way to a very exclusive list. Basically, people I trust. I mean, it's not often I run into a couple of guys or gals that come here OTHER than to just screw."

"Me? I'm on the run from a bunch of testosterone-induced jackasses." Gilda said. "Mating season and all that crap."

"Yikes." Lex winced. "That must suck. What about the horse?"

"Pegasus." Dash reminded. "Me? I've already got my eyes set on a stallion back at home. I'm just here because I'm her friend. This guy..." She pointed to the New Guy. "...I think he wants to be just friends too. In a creepy way."

"Well, then." Lex put away their cig. "This should be interesting. Here you go, dude." She handed over a slip of paper to Gilda. "Call me up if you want. If those assholes show up, they'll have to comb all of wherever you came from and still come up high and dry."

"You just spoke my language. You seem pretty cool, too." Gilda admitted. "Me and Dash are just gonna get a drink, if you don't mind. Wanna come?"

"Nah. Gotta go home after a while. I'm throwing in the towel for now. Have fun with that, dude." And so, Lex walked off into the parking lot towards their car.

"Guess I've taught you well." Dash remarked. "Were you that successful with Greta?"

"Yeah, I was. Kinda like-liked her for a while before she revealed she already found herself a chick. We still keep in touch." Gilda admitted. "Let's just get that drink. You still a lightweight?"

"Oh, it is on! 10 drinks says I'm still standing!" Dash challenged before the New Guy butted in and held up both of his arms. "11? You're on too, whoever you are!"

"A Griffon, a Pegasus, and a mute walk into a bar..." Gilda thought out-loud as they entered the building. "Nah, that doesn't work."

Meanwhile with Pinkie Pie...

"Hey, booooys!" Pinkie said as she strutted up the roof. Turns out, even the roof was a hot-spot for meeting new people. It was a well-lit pool area, complete with a smoothie-stand. Or whatever that vendor was doing. Seriously, I have no clue what he's doing with that jar of...something.

"Who wants a piece of this pie?" She asked as several males ogled her. A few girls even joined, though one seemed to catch her eye. "Oooh! A bunny! Have you met Angel? I bet you're soooo much nicer than him!"

"Um...hi?" Replied the orange and somewhat overweight lagomorph girl she referred to. She seemed to want to stick to the sides and her nerdy glasses only completed the whole 'introvert' image. So, what better idea than to have Pinkie break another gal out of her shell? Oh, and there was the hint of swimwear beneath that outfit. Go figure.

"Hiya! What's your name? My name's Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie asked. "Also, why were your eyes darting everywhere? You looking for a good time like me or something? 'Something' doesn't usually happen, so feel free to blow my mind!"

"My name's Remy. Nice to meet you." The pony-tailed rabbit, nervously shaking the hyperactive pony's hand. "And, to answer your question...ah, jeez. I've probably been gawking like a fool."

"No way, silly! Whatcha' looking for?" Pinkie asked.

"Well...there's this lifeguard here. Could you talk to him for me? I'd really like to hang out with him. I mean, if that's alright. You don't have to." Remy replied, smiling a bit, but still nervous. Pinkie darted her head to said lifeguard, a brightly-colored Lelantoraptor. He seemed to be eyeing his pool like a predator that held dominion over all that he saw.

"Okie dokie lokie! I'm on it!" Pinkie said. "Anything for a lovely lady!"

"Thanks." Remy replied as Pinkie bounded off to play wingman. A few minutes had passed and the bunny somewhat eagerly awaited what would happen next.

Suffice to say, she didn't expect to see the object of her affection go sailing into the air, screaming bloody murder. "What the heck?!" She cried out.

"Well, that was informative." Pinkie huffed as she put away her party cannon. "Trust me, he's not worth it. He called us gals 'conquests'! That's a big no-no in my book! There were some other hurtful things, but that was the last straw."

"Did that really necessitate sending Riptide over the horizon?" Remy asked, still a bit perplexed.

"He'll be fine! I aimed for the pillow factory." Pinkie assured (little did she know that it was a front for a nail forging facility). "Also, pretty sure he was hitting on a bunch of college girls. Not really nice or legal, really."

"I guess he just wasn't the one." Remy sighed. "He seemed so nice at first. Still kinda freaked out at the whole cannon thing, but...I see your point."

"Awww, you deserve better." Pinkie leaned in, her breasts smooshing into Remy's by accident. "I bet I can find you a nice stallion that won't use you are anything! Those type of guys are just the worst! Besides, if it make you feel any better, I'm interested as well. Wanna have some fun in the pool?"

"Well...I am experimenting a bit." Remy said before shrugging. "Sure. Give me a sec." She began to slip out of her clothes, revealing her full body swimsuit. "What about you? You brought anything? Hello? Hello?"

Pinkie had to catch herself staring at the curvy body of the lagomorph before she suddenly jumped up and ripped her clothes off, somehow revealing a swimsuit that only managed to cover the bare essentials of her nipples and pussy. Her plump ass was fair game, though. "Done! Wanna head in?"

"How did-nevermind." Remy stopped herself. "I don't think I'm ready to handle that magic stuff that Kane kept talking about." So, she and Pinkie stepped into the pool. It was just the right temperature and the rabbit immediately relaxed when she went inside.

However, she almost gasped in shock when Pinkie cannon-balled into the pool...only for her to splash into it with all the force of a single raindrop. She surfaced and shook her mane. "Wow. The water's great. Even better than the stuff in Ponyville! Kudos!"

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Remy had to ask.

"Yep! Pretty much. That's what mom always told me. And pretty much everypony else." She replied.

"So, when you're not saving gals like us from big bad lifeguards with cutesy weaponry, what do you do?" Remy asked, starting up a conversation.

"Oh, all kinds of stuff! I like preparing parties, making cakes, hosting parties, making friends, cleaning up parties just to prepare for more parties, rocks, and a whole lot more!" Pinkie listed off. "Right now, I'm enjoying the 'making friends' part. What about you?"

"It's good to see you're the positive type of gal." Remy said, putting it very lightly. "Me? Well, it's kinda lame. I'm just another career girl doing more work at home. But, if you must know, it's working part-time at the local restaurant and a little college tutoring, too."

"Oooh! Sounds delicious! Is it cake? I love cake! Or maybe some other dessert! So much suspense!" Pinkie's eyes nearly sunk into her head at that before reverting to normal. "So, what is it?"

"Mostly just dinner stuff. Other than that, the teaching is fine. Glad it's not high school. I wouldn't have lasted a day doing that." Remy shuddered.

"Yeah." Pinkie had no choice to agree on that one. "Hey! Random question time! What's...your second biggest fear? Mine's sulfuric acid! Even rocks can't stand it!"

"Okay. But promise not to laugh." Remy asked

"Lips sealed!" The earth pony literally zipped her lips.

"Alright. Aside from heights, it's sharks." The rabbit admitted before seriously backpeddling on that. "In the monster sense! Not the race! I didn't mean to be racist!"

"It's okay. We all know that Jaws wasn't that accurate. Also, Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus was just a complete hollow LIE." Pinkie's eye twitched at that in anger. "But, hey. They're more scared of you than you are of them. Another thing my sis taught me. As well as..." A mischievous smirk adorned her face now. "Exposure therapy."

"Exposure what now?" Remy asked before Pinkie suddenly moved very close behind her while humming the Jaws theme. She would have protested, but she suddenly felt very comfortable with the taller equine against her with her soft fur and wondrous bust against her back. She even started to hold hands with her. "Well...this isn't too bad." She said with a sheepish grin.

"What can I say? I kinda love being the dominant one." Pinkie's sultry gaze fell upon her as she pulled her closer in.

"You don't have to put on a show like this but...yeah. This is kind a big turn-on for me." Remy admitted.

"All the better." Pinkie sighed happily as she wrapped her legs around her waist and nudged her snout with Remy's.

"Mmmm..." Remy couldn't help but get turned on by this obvious display of affection. "So, wait. What were we talking about?"

Pinkie removed herself from her and rubbed a finger to her chin. "Oh, yeah! Wanna hang out one day?"

"Oh, sure! Here's my phone number!" Remy gave the pink earth pony said slip of paper, which was directed to her still poofy mane. "Anything else in there, perchance?"

"Nope! Just more curls and a few cease-and-desist letters from a few stallions. Long story." Pinkie shrugged before snapping on her old skimpy outfit as if the both of them were just Legos. "Bye-bye! See you soon!" She giggled as she bounded out to the door.

"I...guess I can get used to this." Remy said out-loud, still wondering if she should be concerned on where to take this energetic and enjoyable Equestrian to or whether Riptide wasn't a red and yellow stain on the pavement or not.

Meanwhile with Fluttershy...

The butter yellow pegasus was...oh, what did you expect? She was sitting on one of the chairs, hoping for this night to end quickly. She tried to ignore some of the more frisky party-goers and she generally took root as this club's newest wallflower.

However, there was a feeling in her that kept trying to assure her that she didn't have to take this the way she was thinking it. She didn't have to hook up with anypony. She just needed to hang out and talk a little bit. What would Dash say?

"Alright. Here goes nothing." She said as she directed herself towards the bar. She was feeling thirsty, after all. Unbeknownst to the goers here, she could actually hold down her liqueur better than any Equestrian. Twilight, to this day, is still trying to figure out how that worked.

Before she knew it, the bartender was right in front of her, clad in a dapper and revealing tuxedo. He was a blue male gecko with yellow spots and his demeanor seemed pleasant. "Welcome to Amorous, hottest club in town! I'm Jax and I'll be your beverage artisan this evening."

"Hello." Fluttershy replied. "I'm Fluttershy. Me and my friends are new here, so could I see your selection?"

"Of course. Pick a drink. Any drink." Jax replied as he used a rag to wash the counter. "You could always use a bit more frog in the face to get real hoppy."

"Errr...what?" He head cutely tipped a bit.

"Sorry. Bartender humor. One house ale coming up!" Jax said as his tail grabbed a glass and, after a few moments that were in a blink of an eye (Dash would be so jealous now, as one might think), served one up. "Shaken, but not stirred, little lady."

"Wow. That was quite fast." Fluttershy said as she sipped her drink.

"That's just what drive, determination, nothing better to do, and the desire for tips will do to you." Jax replied. "Anything else?"

"I'm just very glad to see we're welcome in this world." Fluttershy thanked.

"Who said we were going to be hostile?" He asked. "This isn't some low-wrenched science fiction movie, after all. What you see is what you get."

"Even if we're not here to hook up?" Fluttershy asked, phrasing it lightly.

"Yep. Trust me. I'd know. Nothing wrong with building a few barriers." He frowned for a bit before returning to his usual demeanor. "Sorry about that. Got real for a moment."

"It's alright. Twilight always said it's bad to plug up your emotions until its too late." The pegasus replied as she downed another glass and left some bits as well.

"What the?! Gold?! I mean, I'm sorry, but is gold your currency back in your world?" Jax asked, picking up a piece and examining it, even biting down on it to make sure it was legit.

"Don't you mean 'bits'?" Fluttershy asked. "Oh. I see. I suppose they have more value here."

"Yep. I don't want to be a jerk, but you're going to have to learn to pay with paper currency. Otherwise, the both of us might have a little run-in with a cop. You know, like Zenith was. Don't look into that, though." Jax instructed.

"I'll make sure of that." Fluttershy said, reminding herself to speak to Twilight about that to prevent what the gecko just described. "But, when I come back, can I try some of the more...intense stuff? If that's okay with you?"

"Be my guest! I think. Seriously, one sip of 'Devil's Brew' and a horde of dragons could go down." Jax theorized.

Instead of terrifying her, that just, deep inside, exited her. Who knew the demure and meek pegasus could be so experimental?

Meanwhile with Applejack and Rarity...

"Applejack, I must say that I am both terrified and aroused." Rarity said as she observed the stripper with the sentient tail.

"Same here. Let's try not to stare. Kinda insensitive." The farmpony replied as they sat down, only for a large black bear to suddenly sit in-between them on the lounge with a tired huff. "Hey! What in tarnation do you think you're doing?!"

"Resting." Scrapeater, in his disguise (oh, look, he's here now) grunted. He hated this disguise. Hated how limited he felt. To never fly or transform. At least, he had the claws and teeth.

"Sir, you're sitting between me and my marefriend. So, if you don't mind, I would suggest you move." Rarity advised.

"No." The disguised Insecticon growled. "I'm in no mood to be bossed around now. After that disaster back there, I deserve rest."

"Oh, really? You mind explainin' before I kick yer flank?" Applejack asked.

"You dare?!" He stood up in defiance, only for the two mares to move closer together.

"Now, was that so hard?" Rarity asked in good humor.

"You might as well listen, tough guy. She's got you there." A semi-British voice said, catching the Insecticon's attention. What he saw made him forget whatever happened on the dance floor.

She was a bit hard to describe, but Cybertronians like him were still getting used to seeing organic forms of life. She was a black and purple mammalian with satyr-like legs, a small fluffy purple tail, a fit and elegant build, and 2 gray horns curving around her long doe-like ears.

"Er...I was just upset over how many of those...patrons..." He snarled that last bit. "Tried to grope me at every opportunity! It's just demeaning!"

"Okay. That kinda sucks." Applejack admitted.

"If it makes you feel any better, the stares I got were simply astronomical." Rarity said. "I'm not even boasting. That's just a fact." Her marefriend just sighed at that.

"Hmmm. There's room on this lounge for three. Care to join?" The mammalian asked.

"Why, er...yes." Scrapeater shyly sat in front of her.

"Twilight wanted us to find some good company, anyway." Applejack supposed as she and Rarity got a bit closer on the lounge.

"So, you two must have come from that rip in the middle of the parking lot." She inquired. "Pleasure to meet you. My name's Mercy. You three fine folks?"

"Greetings, madame. My name is Rarity. Stunning outfit, I must say." The white unicorn shook her hand.

"Applejack. 'ppreciate the hospitality." Applejack added.

Scrapeater fumbled a bit when it was his turn. "I am Scra-I mean, Stan! Stan. I am Stan. I am an ursine named Stan."

To his surprise, Mercy giggled a bit. "No need to be embarrassed. Am I that attractive to you? I can see it in your eyes."

"There is much more to find. I assure you." Scrapeater replied.

"You clearly haven't seen the dancers or this lovely lady." Mercy said as she looked at both them and Rarity, causing her to blush. "Basically, I'm envious. I won't lie."

"Sad to say, but she's taken." Applejack said. "If it helps, you don't look bad yerself."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all." Rarity said.

"So it goes." Mercy shrugged before sipping some wine. Scrapeater and Rarity, however, noticed that her hand was wobbling and her face was getting redder. Was she getting drunk? Yes. "You must be a lucky woman, Applejack. To have such a treasure. It fits her name. Even better than the dancers out there, no?"

"Yep. Gotta hand it to Twi and Dash for hooking us up. And Pinkie, but that's a whole other story." Applejack smirked while bringing the white unicorn closer.

"Paltry compared to one such as you." Scrapeater dismissed. "Purple's my favorite color."

"Really?" Mercy looked interested as her confidence grew. "Do you wish to join me at the bar, Stan? I'd rather be talking to you rather than those dancers."

Scrapeater was one befuddled Insecticon. We won't get into how they mate, but it usually didn't involve something like this. Nevertheless, he stood up in anticipation, especially when he felt Mercy's fingers trace his leg. "To the bar, we shall go."

"Excellent." She said before turning to the Equestrians. "Do you want to join us, you two? I'm willing to let two lovebirds have their privacy, though."

"One moment, dear." Rarity stood up and started whispering to Mercy. Whatever she said caused her confidence to grow even more and wrap an arm around the intimidating ursine.

"Mind tellin' me what you just did?" Applejack asked.

"I just told her to seize the day on her own merits. It's how you won my heart, you know." Rarity nuzzled her marefriend.

"Wanna sneak out back and get real busy?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, FUCK yes." Rarity remarked in a bout a bit out of character.

Meanwhile with Spike...

Something about that bear made the dragon suspicious, but at least Rarity and Applejack were having fun. At the moment, Spike was starting to get fatigued. Sure, the guys were cute, but he just didn't feel...in the mood anymore. The thought of just letting every guy fuck him was starting to wane.

"C'mon. There's gotta be something here that makes the day worthwhile." Spike said outloud as he passed by the sentient tail stripper. "Maybe?" He pondered a bit before dismissing it.

"Hey. How about that guy over there?" She helpfully pointed out. "If you're looking for d, he seems like the right choice."

"How did you-"

"Saw the look in your eyes. Trust me. I've been there." She shrugged before continuing to entice the crowd at the lounge.

He looked at whom she was talking to and he started to see why she would say so. It was that lion from the truck when he, Twilight, and Pinkie first got here. Dustin, was it? He was guessing at this point. Other than that, he seemed pretty hot. Yet, at the same time, he had 'bad news' written all over him. That look in his eyes, especially.

"Keep it together, Spike. If he makes a wrong move, he's gonna get a stream of flames to the face." He said to himself as he bucked up and walked over, making sure to swish his tail and hips in a way that would surely get his attention. Sure enough, it did.

"So, you're one of the new guys?" Dustin turned his head to the slightly smaller dragon. "Gotta say. Not bad. I was gonna buy a drink, but I don't see why I shouldn't buy 2."

"No thanks. I don't drink. Then again, I'm up for a few good round of cider." Spike suggested. "Come to think of it, it's pretty much the same thing."

"Sounds interesting, but..." His gaze became all the more hypnotic as he looked upon the dragon's sleek body even more. "What's your name, kid?"

"Spike. You know, I think I saw you when me and Twilight first came here." Spike said.

"Yep. That was me. Glad to have a close encounter with you as of now." Dustin complimented.

"Can we stop with the alien jargon?" Spike asked. "We're from different universes. So what?"

"You're right. Let's focus on more important matters." The lion leaned in. "From an outfit like that, I'd say you're the type to cruise bars. Let me tell you, you've come to the right place, especially if you're single."

His hungry eyes were a bit much for the young adult dragon. "Actually, uh, I came here to dance! You know? Dancing's great! You dance?"

Dustin just went along with that blatant lie. "Nah. Too crowded here, anyway. I do know ONE dance, but I'd rather not do it in public. Look, I know the story. You're not here to dance. It's always something else entirely."

'He saw through me that easily?! Sheesh. What a pro.' Spike thought before deciding to just come clean. "To be perfectly honest, I've been looking for the right guy. You know? Expand my options and all. Find someone to hang out with."

"And here I thought it was just your body that made you adorable." Dustin chuckled. "Seriously. Most people come here for a quick fuck, but I guess there's always an exception."

"What does that make you?" Spike asked, hands on his hips.

"Maaaaybe?" The lion smirked. "Want to find out? I don't do strangers or small talk. Shame to waste this moment on empty chatter."

"Well, might as well start." Spike said, starting to get a bit more comfortable with this laid-back feline. "So...I don't mean to pry, but who was that parrot guy with you in the truck?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know." Dustin's expression fell for a bit. "My boyfriend, Vareoth, has been kind of a pain in my ass for no good reason recently. We came here to find a third to 'spice things up'. His words, not mine. Problem is, he never shares."

"He'd probably get laughed out of Equestria in seconds." Spike said. "Polygamy isn't just allowed. It's celebrated. Hogging males or females, especially if you're a mare, is an absolute taboo unless with consent."

"Fascinating." Dustin said. "Sounds like an awesome society. Anyway, can we change the subject? I'd rather not get into the details of my relationship problems."

"Fair enough. Anything else about yourself?" The dragon continued.

"Nothing we can say in public." Dustin answered.

"Don't dodge the subject. Besides, you didn't come here for small talk, remember?" Spike cheekily replied.

"Touche. It's nothing much. Wake up, work at 'Man's Best Friend', grab some food, and have fun." Dustin said. "I mean, me and my ex did other things, but that's changing fast. As of now, this is my favorite haunt."

"What a coincidence. It's mine now, as well." Spike said. "We don't get nightclubs like this in Equestria. You don't even need magic to make it possible."

"There was that one time this poor guy tried pulling his dick out of a hat, but we don't talk about that out of good taste. Other than that, thanks." Dustin replied. "What about you?"

"Well, I help Princess Twilight, basically my mom, with the usual. Paperwork, sending scrolls to our ruler and tribute to our creator Unicron, and occasionally tag along while we save our land from Primus-knows what." Spike listed. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but it's great to be surrounded by ponies who like you for who you are."

"Sounds like paradise." Dustin replied. "Not sure why your god's name is Unicorn, though. Kinda silly, really."

Spike sighed. "UniCRON. You know? A gigantic robot that transforms into a planet? Tried to eat other planets to sate his hunger before settling down with Lauren Faust, the great alicorn? Oh, wait. I forgot. I'm in a different universe. You want me to continue?"

"I think I get it. Sounds pretty 80s. Science fiction and all that." Dustin replied. "Hypothetical question, now. Would you consider what's happening right now as a 'date'?"

"What? I mean...I guess. You sound like a cool guy." Spike said. "Like I said. I'm willing to keep my options open."

"Maybe you won't have to worry about finding 'options' now." Dustin smirked as he handed him a slip of paper. "Here's my phone number. If you ever wanna hang out, just give me a call."

"Your phone number? Sweet! I mean, thank you." Spike thanks. 'Damn. That was easier than I thought. My first night here and, already, a guy wants me. Sorry, Rumble. You've been replaced. I saw you make out with Scootaloo, anyway.'

"No problem, kid. Just try to keep your tail between your legs next we meet. Or don't." Dustin smirked.

It was at this moment that Spike swore to keep a better grip on that appendage, as throughout the whole talk, it kept trying to grind against his crotch. Did that thing have a mind of its own? Guess we'll never know.

Meanwhile with Scrapeater...

"I'm actually quite astonished. You've downed 10 drinks already and you sound no worse for wear." Mercy admitted to the Insecticon-turned-temporary ursine.

"My strength knows no equal. That includes my hydrau-I mean liver." Scrapeater replied, mentally cursing himself for another slip. "Now, I have a question. What image are you trying to invoke?"

"Image? What are you going on about?" The satyr asked.

"With that you're wearing, what image is being invoked? Back where I was born, we didn't wear clothes. I was simply forced into these by your society." Scrapeater hadn't even considered if he was digging himself into a hole with no way out, but she didn't appear fazed.

"Everyone has their customs, I guess. I suppose the image I'm giving off is...well, I thought a bit of class to this place would work out great, right?" Mercy said as she drank another glass.

"Indeed." He just ran with that explanation. "It suits you quite well. I sense an aura of dominance in it, as well. Perfect to establish a pecking order."

"Not sure about the whole 'pecking order' thing, but that was really sweet." Mercy said, a cute smile adorning her face. "It really means a lot. You're not too bad yourself."

He honest-to-Primus wanted to show his true self for the sake of his pride and dignity, but he restrained himself. "Very well. Now, is there, perhaps, a possible conjux endura that wants my head for being in your company?"

"Is that like a boyfriend?" Mercy asked, getting a confirming nod from Scrapeater. She let out a small laugh that enticed the cybertronian. "Real smooth. Luckily for you, no."

"I see. What is your occupation, then? I'd imagine one of prestige, based on what you're wearing." He continued the conversation.

"You could say that." She replied. "Just managing a gallery and a few art studios. Nothing special. How about you?"

"I..." He chose his words carefully. There was one particular detail he was NOT comfortable sharing. "I was a soldier where I came from. However, the one I thought I could trust betrayed me and my kind, so now, I serve only those that require my strength."

"Sounds pretty deep." Mercy admitted. "Must be great to get away from all of that."

"In a way, yes." Scrapeater admitted. He craved battle, but there were times that not having an Autobot Wrecker try to take his mandibles off felt refreshing. "Especially that I now stand in the presence of one such as you."

"Oh, stop. You're making me blush." Mercy replied as she did just that. "Trust me. I feel that same."

"Perhaps..." He had forgotten about his mission when he cupped his hand over hers. Something about her was absolutely magnetic. He couldn't get his claw on it, but that mattered little. "We could try seeing where this goes. I'm willing to expand my horizons."

"That's great to know." She replied before getting out a card. "Next time you want to hang out, call me or just contact my gallery number. You won't regret that last part, either."

"I look forward to it." Scrapeater said. "It's getting rather late. I must return home. Farewell...Mercy."

"Farewell...Stan." She replied in good humor.

Thank Primus he didn't mention the part about Airachnid. If there was ever a mood-killer that could absolutely destroy any good vibes, it was that story we won't get into right now. Also, he swore he saw a bulge at the crotch of Mercy's outfit, but he dismissed that.

Meanwhile with Gigan...

Gigan had a number of complaints for his new boss. Chief among them were "What kind of sick and twisted experiments are you running?!" and "Why does my disguise make me feel bad I don't actually have fingers?" He had spent quite a lot of time flexing those little digits before getting himself back on track.

As of now, he was bored out of his skull. He was just doing his job, as he was apt to do, but he was a weapon of war! Not a scientist! So why in the name of the Aliens from the Third Planet of the Black Hole was he stuck doing this kind of job?

"Think of the reward...think of the reward..." He repeated during moments of extreme boredom. There had to be something to give him relief. Something to momentarily distract him from the monotony.

He got his answer when his eyes (or eye, disguise not withstanding) went to a lone vixen sitting forlornly at a table. She too looked utterly bored, so the feeling of mutuality was there. It also helped she was rather cute.

"Well, why the hell not?" Gigan shrugged. He was going to do more than just observing today. Just because he was professional didn't mean he could screw around at points. Now that he was a smaller size, that fact was more pronounced.

Before she knew it, Gigan was sitting in front of her, looking completely chill "'Sup?" He began. "Name's Gigan. Lonely night we're having, eh? Same boat here." He couldn't help but smirk when she jolted in her seat and then assumed a more ladylike position.

"Sorry! I was zoned out for a second! Nothing's really happened, so yeah. Sorry." She replied in a svelte voice that instantly got the disguised cyborg's attention. "Your name was Gigan, yes?"

"Yeah. What's your story? You don't seem like the type to waltz into a place like this. Did you get forced here too?" Gigan said.

"Pretty much." The vixen admitted. "And it's my party to boot. My friends just thought it was a good idea to 'treat me' and 'get me out'. Whatever that meant."

"If this is a birthday gift, your friend's have obviously never stated the simple solution like, I dunno, a cake? Or just a gift card? No, scratch that. The last time I got a gift card, it had a note basically saying 'Here's 20 bucks. Get your own goddamn gift'." Gigan snarked. "What I'm saying is, I'd find better allies."

"They're not bad friends! They just...well, I don't really have much in common with them. We just hung out in class and that was pretty much it. I never really got the appeal of grinding against guys and what-not." She explained. "I mean, I have close friends, but it's long distance. One friend of mine still comes to visit for conventions and...I'm sorry. I'm probably boring you to death, right?"

Normally, the typical Gigan response would be "Yes" or "Get out of my way or you become target practice" for specific folk, but something about this club just made him a bit more social then normal. "Nah. Go on right ahead. I've got all the time in the world. Besides, there's noting wrong with conventions or long-distance relationships. Believe me, that puts you a step above myself. I'm more of a loner type."

"Huh. I kinda suspected that." She admitted.

"What gave me away?" He smirked. "Was it my natural charm? The typical 'bad boy walks into a bar' kinda thing?"

"Heh. Mostly the glasses." She giggled. "Sorry, but you're trying way too hard to be cool. It's adorable!"

"Eh. I try." Gigan shrugged. "So, what's your name? I can't just call you...well, whatever I had in mind. Trust me. It's for the best. Probably something too cheesy."

"Skye. Nice to meet you, Gigan." She replied. "You know, I'm really glad you're this understanding. I'm not that type of girl that'll just jump on a dick and ride the day away if you so much as flirt."

"Preach." Gigan smirked. "And I'm not the type of guy to just surround himself with a bunch of gals using dad's credit card to make a statement against their parents. Junk's welded shut here. We even?"

Once again, he managed to get an adorable giggle from her. "You're funny! Thanks for sitting down with me, Gigan. My friends have probably left me in the dust by now, so it's great you could take the time to sit here with me. And yes. We're even. So, you wanna get a drink or something?"

Gigan mulled over that option. He had tasted his fair share of brandies and what-not in various intergalactic bars, but he supposed he could lay off for one. "Nah. Not in the mood. Wait, don't I ask you that?"

"No. I'm not much of a drinker. Plus, somebody's gotta be sober when me and my friends have to leave. Never let them drive after nights like this. Never again..." Skye shuddered. "Seriously. I think they all have drinking problems."

"Oi." Gigan winced at the thought. He had flown in space drunk on a few occasions and he felt like shit afterwards every-time. Not to mention, he kept getting his chainsaw stuck in asteroid belts.

"Not that it's going to be a problem, seeing as they drive home with somebody else every single time." She gritted her teeth at that. "Sorry. Went on a tangent there."

"It happens." Gigan shrugged. "So, about those cons. What about 'em?"

"Oh, them? Well, answer me this." She leaned in a bit. "Do you know why I'm dressed this way at the moment?"

"Politics?" Gigan asked. "That's why I dress differently on occasion."

"Well, there was that one time in New York, but no." Skye answered. "I'm a cos-player, plain and simple. Dressing up this way helps me express my love of entertainment media. You know, games, movies, cartoons, the whole enchilada!"

This was a learning experience for Gigan, of course. Not just in the fact that he was actually talking to someone he wasn't about to team up with/try to kill, but for the fact that the last time he heard the term 'cos-player', he had stumbled upon waves of re-colors and out-of-place pairings. And then, there was that GodzillaxGigan poll...

"Gotta say..." He said, diverting his mind from that subject. "You practically nail the look. Adds a little uniqueness to this joint. You dressed like one of those Digimans?"

"Close enough." She shrugged. "And thanks very much. You look pretty good yourself with that leather jacket and glasses."

"Glad you noticed." He smirked, adjusting his glasses for effect.

"You know, I would have come here...normally..." She seemed to darken that that thought for a brief time. "But my dye was still on when my friends drove up. Mom had to drag me out of the room before I could prepare properly. Besides, my friends like me this way. As somebody else."

"First drunk off their asses and now incredibly shallow? Damn." Gigan admitted. "Take my advice. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Me? This isn't really what l look like and I don't mind a thing. But time can be a rewarding soul when she's not being a cruel mistress. Maybe one of these days, we won't have to hide behind masks. You know what I'm saying?" He was a bit perplexed at how sappy he was sounding, but whatever worked was sure to do.

"Thanks, Gigan." She smiled, holding up her fluffy tail. "It's really sweet of you to hear me go on and on about myself. I'd love to get to know more about you, but my friend's are probably thinking I've ran off to sleep with someone. So, I've gotta split. First..." She handed him a slip of paper. "It's my phone number. Call me when your ready to meet up again. I mean, we could just skype or-"

"I'll get to it. Count on that. No need for Skype. The last laptop I had was crap anyway." Gigan smirked. He was going to be in Equestria (and, by extension, the new world here), so why not have some fun? "Catch you later." He got up alongside her.

"You too, Gigan." She replied. "I've gotta go. This club's starting to jog my claustrophobia up. Thanks for chatting! I really liked it!"

"Anytime." Gigan said before heading off to meet with his buds.

Everfree Forest (Where all thoughts of Equestria just being cutesy and stuff go to die)
Present...

If only the little doe knew what was coming. She was blissfully unaware of the dangers that night brought out in the Everfree. Such dangers include the ferocious timberwolf. One of which, its eyes glowing green with anticipation, was looking for a quick meal.

Ever a master of ambush, the beast inched closer with every second. One pounce and neck-snap would be all that it took for the predator to savor the kill. Though, this was odd. Most timberwolves only attacked living creatures out of a sense of territory or rage-induced fits.

Some just took life for the thrill, it seemed. Bark against blood, wood against flesh. Quite intoxicating for certain breeds. Which made it all the more disappointing for the creature when the doe suddenly bounded away, spooked by a sudden noise.

A noise that was getting closer, actually. The timberwolf, snarling in rage, looked behind it...and was soon reduced to a splintered pile by a massive injured dragon.

The dragon had made a huge mistake to attack Canterlot. Whatever he came there for, it wasn't worth it. Wounded from his ordeal, he had to drag himself through the forest and destroy all that threatened it. He was in no position for a real fight, but he still had his bulk to spare.

Fatigue was setting in. He needed somewhere to rest. To heal. To think about how many ways to repay his foes in kind. Whatever was going through his mind, whatever motivation he had to brazenly attack the princess...would have to wait.

Stepping forth behind a certain cottage at the edge of the forest, he laid down and began a much-needed slumber. He sniffed around, smelling an odd scent that resembled marijuana and the sound of demonic chanting coming from one of the bunny burrows, but he ignored it as he rested his head against the ground. His flames sizzled out as he finally felt peace.

But could there ever be peace for a dragon such as he? Wonder how long it would last?

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

And so, it begins. Also, may we say farewell to Starlight. Trust me. She won't be the last. The scary part is that those that follow don't deserve what's coming. At all. Well, maybe a few. I haven't decided, but that's not the main focus on the fic.

Be sure to look out for when the dates are off and the antics have only begun! Also, constructive criticism is accepted, even if it's negative. I'm not the kind of guy to delete comments. That's the coward's way out.

Chapter 1: When Things were Normal...We Guess?

Friendship Castle (It's been 4 weeks since our last 'evil for the sake of it' threat)
5 hours before incident...

Spike examined himself in the mirror and put a claw to his chin as he thought about what he wanted to do tonight. Tonight was a special night. A night that he thought would, according to himself, define him. For some reason, it had to start with him stripping down naked. Such is life, after all.

Clearly, puberty has been quite kind to him recently. He was expecting himself to look a bit more like that one time his greed accelerated his growth to monstrous levels, but this was far more pleasing. His scales had gotten even smoother than before, his tail could sensually wrap around his leg, his facial features spruced up to look a bit more feminine, and his cock felt so...warm in his grasp.

He panted a bit as he made himself comfortable in his mind. The image of Big Mac, Rumble, or some other stallion rutting him until there was no tomorrow. Hell, even Garble wasn't a bad option. To feel his toned ass ravaged by the nearest male...he gave himself a mental reminder to thank Rarity for the book on submission. She may have not been his object of affection anymore, but at least she still counted as one of his best friends (and occasional mistress whenever she got the dominatrix equipment out).

He started to rub his cock more as he knelt down to the ground, looking upon himself in the mirror even more. He liked how his long forked tongue hung out as he panted. His tail began to grind against his ass, simulating the feel of a large warm cock. 'Alright...start talking dirty...that helps'. He thought, having read enough hentai to know where this should go.

"F...fuuuuuck me..." Spike said to himself as he masturbated. He didn't care how fake that sounded. It was doing the job of making him more aroused. "Just put it in me...make me your bitch...your cock-slut..."

Suddenly, the door opened. "Spike, what are you doing?"

"TWILIGHT!" Spike shot up in embarrassment and a bit of anger. He was so close to cumming and the old cliche of a family member walking in had to rear its ugly head. "Uh...you heard nothing! Okay?!"

"Look, there's nothing wrong with blowing off some steam, but could you have not done it near the desk?" Twilight asked as she crossed her arms.

"You know, first off, it's the only place where we have a huge mirror for some reason." Spike said as he put back on some shorts and a t-shirt. "Second, can't I just have a few minutes to myself once in a while?! These urges are killing me, I tell you!"

Twilight sighed. He wasn't wrong. At his age (17, basically), dragons would usually look for at least a quick fuck or occasionally, in her terms, "blow off some steam". Spike was no different, especially with the fact that he had become more sexually active indoors.

"I think you've been reading too many yaoi fanfics." Twilight said. "I can't use the laptop without hoping you deleted your internet history before I accidentally insta-searched to a random porn website."

"Fanfics? Try counting the manga I found next to your bed." Spike countered before raising an eyebrow. "And how did those get there?"

"Subject change!" Twilight hand-waved that notion, despite blushing red at that. "Yes, I freely admit that it kinda sucks being a virgin, but I've got the duties of a princess. I think finding a stallion is the least of my concerns!"

"We defeated Tirek. Loosen up and try to fill a few holes in your life. That's what I'm hoping to do, at least." Spike said. "I won't lie, though. We're going to have this so much worse than anypony around."

"Why's that? As Rarity keeps saying, there's somepony for everypony." Twilight said. "The validity of that is questionable, but not inaccurate."

"Are you kidding? You're straight as an arrow, I think, and I'm into cock! Have you seen the stallion-to-mare ratio in Equestria? By Unicron's horns, I sound like you!" Spike said as he comically flailed around a list of guys and a list of girls. Comparatively, the girl list could have wrapped around the house 57 times over. The male one...not so much.

"I...see." Twilight's ears did droop a little when she saw that. You see, in Equestria, most mares were perfectly fine with starting up a relationship with the same sex, if only due to the fact that, comparatively, the amount of males in Equestria paled when faced with how many females there were. The only stallions she knew that would do a gender-reversed version of that rule would have been Soarin, Caramel, and maybe Braeburn (if those chaps were anything to go by). Of course, that didn't stop the practice of polygamy, which was actually endorsed by Celestia and Luna themselves, but only one male occupied such a prospect. Two males would just make it look like they were hogging a potential mate.

And now, you're either bored as heck or actually intrigued. Well, enough of that! Back to the plot.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Twi." Spike placed a claw on her shoulder. "Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It's just that...we could really use a nightclub. You know? Like what Vinyl Scratch proposed."

"Are you sure? I've heard about the nightclubs in Manehatten and the fatality rate keeps going up when they have a huge celebration." Twilight advised.

"Relax. Remember our illegal drug policy here. Pinkie and Dash would utterly destroy anyone who so much as tried to sneak in the weakest variety of crack." Spike assured. A silence then overcame them. "So...before the image of Pinkie snorting some coke and destroying everything in sight ravages my brain, can we do a few things with this castle?"

"Well, I was thinking about changing the name of this castle." Twilight suggested. "Somehow, I think the phrase 'Friendship Castle' is too on the nose."

"You could say that. Also, remember that idiot who sent us a letter to install a 'cutie map'? I mean, for Faust's sake, one of the details involved sending only a select few of our group when we could have solved a problem with all of us! Who does that?" Spike remarked as he went into the kitchen to fix himself some toast.

Rainbow Dash's House (Home to a hero, but that's no excuse for the late rent)
4 hours before incident...

Gilda laid against the couch as she tapped her claw against the armrest impatiently while Dash scooped up another spoonful of chocolate ice cream. She looked at the clock. 8:00 in the morning. This was just asinine. She got here early for a little get-together for this? Watching her friend devour ice cream as she lamented...something?

"This is the fourth tub you've eaten out of. You wanna tell me what's wrong or you wanna keep eating until you practically become an anvil held up by a balloon?" Gilda asked.

Dash put aside the ice cream for a moment. "Shoot. You're right." She huffed. "The only thing I can think of that's worse than what just happened is...well, basically that. I didn't eat that much, did I?"

"Nah, I'd say you would have been screwed by the fifth tub." Gilda said honestly. "Seriously. I can see the pile you've prepared yourself and if the heart disease doesn't kill you, the fall from Cloudsdale would."

"You are just the paragon your kingdom deserves." Dash snidely replied.

"Hey. I try." Gilda said honestly. "I'd say that things are going pretty damn well since you and Pinkie visited, but since you had the nerve to wake me up this early in the day, I might as well hear you out. Usually, anyone who tries that on me had better prepare to see black and blue."

"....Damn it. It's too stupid." Dash sighed.

"What? The thought of me punching out any-"

"No. It's the reason I've went the way of Season 1 Rarity and invested in several shipments of ice cream." Dash huffed.

"C'mon. It's cool. Just us girls." Gilda shrugged. "Lay it on me. Did the Wonderbolts hire that Lightning Dust gal again? I swear, if I see that bitch again-"

"Look, she knows what he did, okay?" Dash interrupted. "Anyway, it's just that...I found out Soarin was gay."

Gilda took a sip of some soda she brought along with her as she took that in. "Who was that again? The pie eating stallion with the ridiculously tight outfit? I mean, I've seen those things and they just leave nothing to my imagination, but he takes the cake. I swear, I could see his balls-"

"TMI, Gilda!" Dash cut her off before continuing. "Yeah, for the past few months, I crushed pretty hard on him. He's still a nice guy I bet, don't get me wrong, but...I was just thinking of getting a bit closer to him. He was funny, cute, and star of the show. What more could I ask for?"

"A bigger rack?" Gilda teased.

"Nope. Not gonna work this time. The thing about flat chests, it just makes me all the more aerodynamic." Dash boasted. "Back on subject. So, last night, I sneaked into the boy's shower room. I overheard that he wanted to head there for some reason, so why not? Anyway, I opened the door and...the rest is history." She sighed. "There he was getting fucked by some other pegasus stallion."

"Ouch. Did you at least get a good show? Any saucy details to lighten the mood?" Gilda asked.

"Don't push it." Dash glared at her. "Although, he did have kind of a small dick. If I wasn't so sad right then, I guess I would laugh." She flopped onto Gilda's lap. "What am I gonna do?"

"I dunno. Maybe find yourself a nice mare. Go back to the good old days." The griffonness suggested. "You know? We rounded up the cutest girls and got the steam rising behind the bleachers?"

"I guess, but I think that was just a phase or something." Dash replied. "I guess I would have chosen Applejack next, but she's going steady with Rarity."

"Fluttershy?"

"Nah. I've seen her get down with Tree Hugger. I'd also have to deal with Discord's bullshit."

"Pinkie?"

"Used to being the town bicycle. Maybe for a quick fuck, but not much."

"The nerd?"

"Twilight? Wouldn't work. She's straight."

"Steven Magnet?"

"Okay, now, you're being ridic-"

"You know what? Here's a good idea. Just drop the idea of getting laid for now and focus on what you're good at. Like performing at shows. Trust me. I'm up for staying around for a few days. Maybe a week." Gilda said. "Bet it'll go down better than last time."

"Sure thing." Dash fist-bumped her before something hit her. "Wait a minute...if you're saying I shouldn't be so desperate to snag a stallionfriend or a marefriend, I guess, how come you came dressed up like that?"

"Excuse me?" Gilda eyed her at that remark.

"Seriously. You've got a serious case of under-boob and I'm pretty sure those jeans didn't start out that short. I can clearly see your claw-marks." Dash pointed out, poking her finger against her friend's breasts to emphasize her point.

Gilda slapped her hand away before crossing her arms. "I don't have to explain this. This is just how I wanna look now."

"You're blushing." Dash pointed out, a mischievous smile adorning her face. "C'mon. Spit it out. Why the sudden need to show off what your mom gave you?"

"I hated my mom, remember?" Gilda's eye twitched.

"Oh...shoot. Not funny." Dash rubbed the back of her head. She'd heard enough horror stories about her friend's home life before and after they first met at school. She didn't need a reminder. "On second thought, you don't have to-"

"Nah, you've got a point. I'll tell you along the way to Sweet Apple Acres. I've been meaning to try out some of that cider you won't stop emailing me about." Gilda said as she flexed her wings until an audible 'pop' was heard.

"Eh. I could got for a pint as well." Dash shrugged before stepping out of the house alongside her friend. "Thanks, Gilda. I needed this."

"I'm sure you did." The griffoness replied. "You wanna fly the easy way or through that incoming storm?"

"What do you think?" Dash smirked before they both flew into the heart of the incoming ball of water droplets and possible lightning.

Sweet Apple Acres (All ponies should be noted that Granny Smith just bought herself a shotgun)
3 hours before incident...

"You sure ahm doin' this right, Rares?" Applejack asked as she stood in front of her marefriend, clad in only her thong and the handkerchief that she called her 'bra'. "I bet I am. You're lookin' hotter than the Appleloosa on a summer's day."

"Why, yes, dear. Keep it slow, though. I want to savor this." Rarity, wearing nothing but her undergarments, fanned her face with her hand to reassure her, even though the big red blush on her was indication enough that this was turning her on. Her eyes fell upon her marfriend's legs. "Mmmmm...I must say, you put your brother to shame."

"Not really. He's built like a tank. Ain't nothin' gonna match him. Unless somethin' crazy happens to Spike." The farmpony assured as she undid her bra, leaving her breasts exposed. "Aw, shucks. I think they're getting bigger."

"And how is that a problem?" Rarity bit her finger as she crossed her legs. The sight of her lover's full and firm breasts was always enough to arouse her to the fullest. It only could go higher from there when Applejack slowly slid off her panties, revealing her large pussy.

"So...you wanna rut or what? Apple Bloom's at her friend's place and Big Mac's workin' hard as usual. Ain't nopony gonna interrupt us." Applejack said as she spread out her pussy with two fingers.

"Aren't we eager?" Rarity bit her lip as she approached the taller equestrian. She let out a small giggle before massaging the large breasts, earning a moan from her lover. "Mmmmm...you have such wondrous nipples...I can feel them poking against my hands..."

"Yer kiddin', right?" Applejack just let her marefriend do her thing. "Yer hands are cold, is what it is. And...I love it."

"I know you do. And that's only the start." Rarity assured as she knelt down until her face was facing Applejack's pussy. She traced a finger across it, causing the farmpony to tense. "Mmmmm...wet. Just how I like it."

"Remember when you said it tasted like apples?" Applejack asked as sweat cascaded down her face. "I bet you taste like marshmallows."

"Don't worry. We'll find out in a few moments." Rarity assured before burying her face into Applejack's crotch, earning a moan from her lover. The apple cider produced on the farm was nothing compared to this, according to Rarity. She had eaten out her marefriend twice before, but each time felt better than the last.

"Tha...that's right...lick is hard..ah...ahhhhh...you make me feel so good, girl..." Applejack softly said as she pushed Rarity's face in more. Her thoughts began to drift as the tongue licked circles around her clit. "Fuck me....please fuck me, Big Mac..."

"I beg your pardon?" Rarity backed out, pre-cum covering her petite mouth.

"Oh, dang it all! I was so close!" Applejack pouted before she realized what she said a moment ago. "Umm...I wasn't thinkin' straight!"

"I know that, but could you explain ?" Rarity asked in an understanding tone as she stood up. "Care to share any fantasies with me? I am hoping to have a serious relationship with you, you know."

"Ah know. Ah love you, too. It's...it's kinda...you know..." Applejack looked extremely uneasy about revealing what had been bothering her. "Can we sit down for a while?"

"Alright then." Rarity said as the both of them sat on a haystack. The seamstress winced at how uncomfortable it felt, but she did have a few ideas later on about the old phrase 'a roll in the haystack'. "You blurted out your brother's name as I...well, you know. Are you...by any chance-"

"Ah don't have a crush on mah big brother, okay?!" Applejack insisted.

"My word. Not only was that uncalled for, but you're still a terrible liar as always." Rarity crossed her arms.

"Ah don't wanna talk about it! It's just a stupid wet dream ah get once in a while! Nothin' more." The farmpony calmed as she let her head down. "Can we just drop it and continue like this thing never happened?"

Rarity, while a bit put off by her marefriend's stubborn behavior, understood where she was coming from. Absolutely nopony wanted to admit his/her feelings towards any related folk. The dreadful thought of Sweetie Belle and her getting closer in that sort of way was enough to send shivers down her spine. Nevertheless, she placed a reassuring hand on the farmpony's shoulder.

"Look. We will have to look into this. It's inevitable, dear. However, I must confess. It's rude to keep a lady waiting. Rude of me, that is." The seamstress cooed as she traced a finger across her lover's pussy.

"Save it for 'nother day. For now, come 'ere, sugarcube." Applejack said before pulling Rarity into a deep kiss.

Outside of the barn, Rainbow Dash and Gilda landed. While Dash looked perfectly fine, some of Gilda's feathers were singed.

"Hey, uh, you okay? That lightning strike was kinda too close for comfort." Dash asked as she used two of her fingers to pinch out one of the flames.

"I've had worse." The griffoness remarked, though she couldn't help but agree inside. Last time she nearly flies into some gray blonde pegasus with weird eyes carrying a piano or two.

"Sweet Celestia, I think I've got an idea." Dash pointed to the distance.

"Tell me it's nothing like that jockstrap prank you had planned at one point." Gilda rolled her eyes.

"NO. The last time we tested that, we couldn't fill in the holes in time." Whatever Dash was talking about, it wasn't pretty. "Him!"

The stallion he was pointing to was Big Macintosh, the most humble stud you could ever find. He was, as usual, shirtless and moving the plow with all his might against the hardened soil. It was summer, after all, so the sun was causing him to sweat up a storm.

"Not my type." Gilda sighed quietly in disappointment.

"So, that's why you dressed up like that." Dash butted him, causing her to squawk in surprise. "I'm the one pining for some tail and even I'm not going down the same path you are. Yeesh."

"Well, at least I don't have to say it out-loud now." Gild huffed. "In a few days or more, mating season begins. You know what that means? Every male goes freaking blood-hungry against any potential challengers and ruts any female he can get. It's pretty much how I was conceived."

"Ouch." Dash winced.

"I would have come by your house much sooner, but I had to sneak out in case any of the boys tried reeling me in. I figured I was safe from any urges here but...Dash, do me a solid." Gilda asked earnestly.

"Lock you up in a closet until the urge passes?" The pegasus replied.

"Even if I wanted you to do that, you wouldn't survive the night if you tried pulling that off." The griffoness said bluntly. "No, I just...I just want one male. ONE male. If a whole bunch of boys start heading my direction and I can't get out in time, try to be there for me. I mean, I could take them but-"

She was interrupted when Dash threw her hand around her waist. "I've got your back, girl. You can count on me. Still, though, I'm surprised you didn't go gaga over Mac here. I mean, look at him."

"I dunno. Maybe I'm just not into earth ponies." Gilda shrugged. "It's the wings that do it for me. And maybe even a submissive attitude. You know how I love being top bitch."

"The memories just keep flooding back." Dash rolled her eyes before setting them on Big Mac, who was chugging down water. "Now, how to reach him? Hmmmm..."

Fluttershy's Cottage (Any mention of burning bunnies will be immediately met with lots of crying)
2 hours before incident...

Fluttershy's eyes stayed bug-eyed for a good while. She had just realized what had happened last night and she wasn't sure what to think. Currently, she was sleeping in her bed with only her baby-blue thong on. Her large DD-cup breasts were exposed and, as of now, being loving groped by the other occupant in the bed. Mainly, her hippie friend-with-benefits, Tree Hugger.

"Erm...excuse me...could you please get off of me?" Fluttershy asked politely as she held a finger up. "I think whatever we smoked got to us a teeny bit too much."

"Whaaaa?" The green earth-pony awakened, flexing her body while rubbing her bust against her friend's in the process, furthering the embarrassment. "C'mon. I think it awakened, like, an inner feeling between us. Can't you feel the aura?"

Fluttershy's ears drooped. She had been meaning to say this for a while now. "Tree Hugger, please don't be upset when I tell you this."

"You're not into mares? That's totally fine. We all have different ways we want to connect with the vibes of those around us. Me? I get a lot of vibes. Close vibes, you know." She snuggled into her friend even more.

"Please stop that. I need to get dressed. We've slept in for far too long and I'm worried my animals are about to stage a coo. I would never want them to be deprived of what they need most." Fluttershy said, a bit more adamantly.

"I feel you. I really do. Just...what kind of connection are you into?" Tree Hugger asked as she got up, still woozy from all that weed she and Fluttershy did the night before.

"It's...well, I'm used to mares, but..." She twiddled her finger as she got up too, using her left arm to cover her breasts to no avail.

"Does anybody have a piece of cake?" The stoned pony asked as she absent-mindingly stumbled out of the room. The crash of pots and pans could be heard after a minute.

Sighting to herself, Fluttershy began her usual morning routine. Clean her room, get in the shower, wear yet another green turtleneck and sweats, feed/water/teach the animals that were always welcome at her cottage, try to ignore Angel as he dragged some suspicious materials into his newly fashioned hole, and have some salad. Intermittently, she had to rest Tree Hugger on the couch as she got over her high. It did make the butter-yellow pegasus wonder, though. She managed to get through her high in no time at all. Maybe she was stronger than she thought in that department.

She looked out the window as she finished her salad. To her shock, she saw two of her bear residents, Marybelle and Joseph, start to mate with each-other. It was definitely mating season, alright. She had completely forgotten. Normally, any mare would have turned away, lest she be disgusted/get mauled.

Fluttershy didn't do that. She, with a huge blush on her face, got closer to the window. She was glad Tree Hugger was asleep and Discord was on vacation in Primus-knows-where. They wouldn't have to see what she was about to do as the bears fucked each-others brains out.

She slid a hand underneath her thong and inserted two of her fingers into her pussy. She bit her lip as she masturbated to the mating session. She wanted so bad to Marybelle at the moment. To be dominated by the larger male. To be mated by a creature born of nature and with no restraint. She was drawn to the majesty and savagery of the animal kingdom. No stallion or mare could satisfy that desire, as far as she knew.

And yet, it felt so wrong. Imagine what everypony would say about her if they learned she was into bestiality. She was almost thankful for her shyness and chastity whenever any romantic or possibly sexual situations came on the rise. Easy to hide in the prom, but slightly harder whenever Dash and Pinkie tried encouraging her to speed-date. She had to admit. Deep inside, she was lonely, despite the company of friends. She wanted commitment. Something even her animal friends would have a hard time giving.

She let a tear drop as she came and slid her fingers out. "Just...let it go, Fluttershy." She said to herself. "Who cares if you'll never really have a family...someone to live forever with...maybe even...foals or fillys..." That part really got to her. Children was the biggest problem. She always wanted to be a mother, as well. To have kids of her own to love and cherish until she joined the Choir Invisible.

If only she noticed the horrible things going on in Angel's hole. Maybe if she noticed the pentagram on his new book...

Sugarcube Corner (No, the cupcakes are not typical Creepypasta bait)
1 hour before incident...

Lucky (yes, the naming department did come to a screeching halt at times) was a stallion that many would call TOO lucky. Good luck was right there in his name and four-leaf clover cutie mark, but right now, he was getting more than he bargained for.

For at the moment, he was getting pinned down by Pinkie Pie, the most energetic pony and possibly even living being in the entire universe (if only he knew of Blurr of Cybertron). She was riding his average-sized cock like a freaking jackhammer while also splaying his legs out until they felt like they were going to split right off.

"Yeah! You like that! FUCK ME! FUCK ME UNTIL I'M READY TO BURST!" Pinkie shouted at the top of her lungs as she ruthlessly pounded at her victim. It was little wonder this place was soundproof. "Remember, YOU ASKED FOR THIS! NOW, BUCKING DESTROY ME IF YOU CAN!"

She wasn't wrong. She told him that he could meet her down in the basement for a little fun and who was he to refuse? Sure, she was a bit chubby, but she sported a rack that could make Fluttershy and Applejack jealous. Not to mention her adorable expression. The only other type of trap other than this that he knew was that of stallions posing as mares for the sake of a quick laugh.

Pinkie continued to slam her pussy against his nuts with incredible speed. He was powerless as his legs lost all feeling. What started to gain feeling was the urge to cum. The one thing that could set him free.

"Hold up!" Pinkie suddenly slipped her pussy out and placed a clamp on the cock just as he was about to release, possible impregnation be damned.

"N...noooo!" Lucky moaned. "I need to cum! Please! I can't take anymore!"

"Don't worry! Not only do you get a discount in the future, but...well, can you wait a sec? Please?" She asked.

"Yes! Please! Whatever makes this go faster!" Lucky pleaded.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie flashed a smile before getting out a jar from her poofy mane. She stuck the stallion's cock into it before placing her hand on the clamp. "Thar she blows!" She called out as she released the cock, causing Lucky to cum hard into the jar. "Wow! Even more than the last one!" She commented as he unloaded is...load. Yeah, I think you get it.

Lucky laid there, panting and laying in a pool of his own sweat as he finished. "Can I...can I go now?" He breathed as he tried to stand up, only to be helped by Pinkie.

"Yep! Please come again! You did me a really awesome favor!" Pinkie shook his hand hard.

"Scared to ask, but what are you gonna do with my...you know?" Lucky asked, pointing at the now closed and heavy jar of stallion jizz.

"This? Didn't you know? Let's just say I make my sweets...with love." She wiggled her eyebrows seductively.

"....Uh...huh..." Lucky winced as he took that information in. "So, that's the secret ingredient. GOTTA GO!" With that, he ran upstairs to the surface.

"Hey! What about your clothes? Hello?" Pinkie called out as she held up Lucky's pants and shirt. Too late. He was going to have to deal with some severe embarrassment for a good few days.

"Another one bites the dust." Ms. Cake sighed as she walked past. "Good work on getting the ingredient. Now, we'll have enough Mare's Delight for an entire family tree."

"I fuck to please!" Pinkie smiled cheekily before her body stood up and her tail twitched uncontrollably. "Uh-oh! A doozy's coming up and...it's big! Like, REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALY big! Enough to make Unicron's optics bug out!"

"Try to handle it in the next few moments. I've heard Bulk Biceps wanted to make an appointment!" Ms. Cake asked.

"Can I join when that happens?" Mr. Cake asked.

"Anytime." His wife answered, giving him an peck on the cheek.

Zooming into a nearby phone-booth and emerging with her typical shirt and torn jeans, Pinkie ran until she got to the center of town.

"Hmmmmm...I bet in an obligatory hour...the doozy should be right here. I've got my eye on you! You hear me?" Her right eye comically grew to the size of a beach-ball as she eyed the center of town.

"Take your meds!" A random stallion called out.

"Sure thing!" She called back.

"And stop changing your clothes in my T.A.R.D.I.S-I mean, phone-booth!" He replied as he quickly ran off. "I've got to keep a better eye on her..."

Amorous Nightclub (Like you didn't see this coming)
The Incident...

Kane tapped his toe-claw against the concrete as he awaited the influx of early visitors to come on over. He was ready to indulge in one heck of a large paycheck and he was willing to stand around and do nothing this early in the day just for that. I mean, it was only 12:00 in the afternoon! Sure, he was absolutely not a morning person, but...eh. He was a saurian. Raptor to be precise. Why else did they make him the bouncer?

Already, he saw one beat-up powdered blue pickup truck show up. He recognized it instantly. It was Betsy. No, not the occupant. The truck. Said occupants were Dustin the lion (he made a mental note to keep an eye on him whenever he got a certain look in his eyes) and Vareoth, his jackass of a boyfriend. I mean, Var was cute and all, but c'mon!

Another car drove up. It was a sports car and Kane's expressions softened when he saw who was driving and waving at him at the moment. It was Coby, the adorable male blue macaw and he had grown to admire and maybe even have a small crush on.

"So, you heard the news?" Kane asked as Coby walked up to him, wearing nothing but a thong and a small tank-top.

"Yep! Couldn't resist! I would have asked my big bro to come, but he said he was busy. Kinda sucks, but what can you do?" The avian shrugged. "I'm just glad I can be here on the 50th anniversary of this place."

"It's a milestone, ain't it?" Kane remarked as he scanned the horizon for any other comers who either came to celebrate as well or, more likely, because they had nothing better to do.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. California was no stranger to earthquakes, but everyone else in the distance seemed to be fine.

"Freaking tremors." Kane sighed as Dustin and Vareoth pulled in.

"You feeling that?" Dustin asked. "Looks like we're in for a little ride."

"Quit being overdramatic." Var chided. "It's a little fucking tremor. Big deal."

As if to taunt him, a tear in space/time ripped right in front of the club. It was close to where Kane and Coby were standing, as well.

"What the actual hell?!" Coby backed off.

"Ack! That homeless person I met this morning was right! Time and space mean nothing to this world now!" Kane shouted in his terror.

"Bad trip, man! Bad trip!" Var admitted as he hid in the car.

"Sure hope this gives us superpowers or something." Dustin said in good humor, although the situation was getting to be a bit much, no matter how many movies he had seen prior to this.

Finally, the tear took the shape of a circle and the rumbling stopped. The other side was encased in nothing but swirling green and blue. At least, until a certain pink Equestrian poked her head out.

"Hey! Look! A crossover!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I can't wait to welcome each and every one of you!"

"Sorry, I'm late, Kane!" Zenith, a fellow dragon bouncer, ran up to the Kane as this transpired. "Uh...what did I miss?"

A long period of silence fell upon the crowd. They just stared at the portal and its herald. What words would they choose to greet this newcomer? Words of wisdom and curiosity, perhaps?

Dustin was happy to start it off. "WHAT THE FU-"

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

Well, this is happening right now. That's all I really have to say. Feel free to leave a comment below and say what's on your mind about this fic so far. Trust me, it can only escalate from here.

Oh, and about the canon. Yeah, I freaking hate the Cutie Map. It felt like they were following that old trope of 'Let's go to this designated area with only the designated amount of ponies because the magical IKEA table said so'. Basically: 'Because Destiny Said So'. I mean, it's nice that it points to the various locations in Equestria, but it kinda brought up a few ugly details, like how Celestia glossed over the fact that the Griffon Kingdom is in a constant state of poverty and misery. But, hey. That one episode where it was shown was good. So, yeah. Canon's getting twisted this time around.

Oh, and Gilda's look that threw Dash off? Blame ss2sonic for the inspiration. It's one of his/her better works: https://static1.e621.net/data/c5/80/c58051abcfec17032c8e651f9dbe9fbc.png

As for the Transformers references, well, we're in the Hasbro Universe. It was inevitable.

Up Next: Twilight Sparkle, along with a few other peeps, brings two worlds together! Elsewhere, evil forces are afoot and Canterlot is ground central for a devastating attack!

Comment, if you please!