VIVA la CMC'TION avec Button Mash!

Chapters

Chapter 2: Using a Creepy Spell Isn't Evil If You Have a Good Reason!
Chapter 3: Independence Day, Mother Buckers!
Chapter 4: a Good Rule of Thumb When Making a Castle: At Least One Room Should Be a Dungeon
Chapter 1: Four Funerals and a Bad Decision

Chapter 2: Using a Creepy Spell Isn't Evil If You Have a Good Reason!

Love Tap escorted her guests to a well-furnished living room, Twilight Sparkle stepping heavily as the mare clearly fumed to such an extent it had a physical manifestation on the house wife’s floor. Princess Celestia stepped more gingerly, occasionally looking down at her hooves to make sure she didn’t trample anything under hoof or accidently knock over the odd houseplant. She took her shimmering aurora borealis of a mane roughly the size of an entire pony and maneuvered it so that it didn’t brush against any pictures on the wall and send them careening to the floor.

One of the pictures caught Celestia’s eye, Love Tap smiling happily next to a small-framed, mustachioed, dark-brown, earth pony stallion with a spiked brown mane. In front of the couple was a teenaged light reddish-brown colt holding a guitar and resting his chin on a forehoof more like he was posing for a school senior picture rather than a family picture. Next to him sat Button Mash, who smiled cheerfully at the camera.

“You have a lovely family, Mrs. Love Tap,” Celestia commented.

As she got to the living room, Love Tap turned and looked up at the princess who controlled the very sun in the sky. Again, what she wanted to say was ‘Thank you! They’re my pride and joy!’ but what came out was “T-thanks! The-the ma-my p-p-pri-n-joy!”

Celestia simply acknowledged the return comment with a stately nod.

Twilight marched past Love Tap and up to a purple love seat, flinging herself on it belly and face first as she let out a groan directly into the cushions and spread her limbs and wings as both throw pillows and the odd singed purple feather fell to the ground.

Love Tap moved out of the way of Celestia and nervously motioned towards a large, comfortable-looking easy chair she silently prayed was large enough for the princess. Celestia cocked her head as she regarded the chair and cautiously placed her posterior on it. She maneuvered her hooves as she also stared up at her horn and ducked down slightly, looking very much like a cautious feline checking its surroundings before settling in. With a slight creak, Celestia managed to get her entire weight on the chair without it breaking and sat on her haunches, her horn still quite below the first floor’s high ceiling. Love Tap hoped one or both the princesses knew a shrinking spell if they desired to check the top floor with it’s much lower ceiling.

What am I thinking?! I have not ONE but TWO princesses here and it’s pretty clear this isn’t just a social call!

Twilight Sparkle, Love Tap had expected. In fact, the plan was to give Twilight a taste of what negative influences left unchecked could do to impressionable young foals. Twilight might have foals of her own at some point, right?! So… That was practically a service! Of course, she had mostly concluded that it was probably not a great idea to heap another ‘wrong’ on that particular pile and hope a ‘right’ miraculously sprung forth from the depths. Still, she was relieved that the children had been reported as okay… But what the hay was Celestia doing here in her home?!

…WHAT THE BUCKIN’ TARTARUS DID THOSE FOUR DO?! She wished she had some sort of upper limit for what they might have done, but no. No, she did not.

“My little pony?” Celestia called out in an even tone. “I don’t mean to be a bother but—”

“Oh, no!” Love Tap cried hastily. “No bother at all!”

“Quite,” Celestia replied with a nod. “I was wondering if I could trouble you for a drink of some sort?”

“OH!” Love Tap forced a smile. “Of course! Sorry! I don’t entertain royalty that often!”

A small smile appeared on Celestia’s lips and she nodded. “That’s quite alright.” Celestia glanced over at the love seat Twilight was sprawled out on. “Twilight? Would you like something to drink?”

Twilight looked up and stared Love Tap dead in the eye. “Yeah. Glass of grain alcohol. No ice. Leave the bottle,” she barked out.

Love Tap’s eyes widened and her ears flopped down around her head. This was bad. Very, very bad! “… Oh…” she replied.

“‘OH’ is right!” snapped Twilight. “Alcohol first. Then we’ll talk about the day I’ve had so far.”

Love Tap took a deep breath and looked up at Celestia. The grand royal mare seemed neither surprised by Twilight’s request nor angry in the slightest. “A glass for me as well,” Celestia said. “And if you have any wine, I’d be greatly appreciative.”

Love Tap’s eyes fired wide so fast she was sure she felt a blood vessel pop. “W-w-white or red?!”

“Red, please,” Celestia said.

Love Tap practically bolted out of the living room, galloping down the hallway well past the speed she’d have shouted at Button to ‘Slow down!’ and slid into the kitchen. She quickly began throwing open cupboards and cabinets and pulled out a silver tray, which she put on her kitchen table, and several short, stout glasses, a wine glass, and a bottle full of some clear liquid. After pulling out and examining a few labels, she added THREE bottles of red wine, and one white (because better to be safe than sorry) to the tray in a near panic. Looking through her liquor cabinet once more, she also grabbed a bottle of some amber liquid and added to the tray now mostly filled with bottles. She took the edge of the tray in her teeth and trotted it back to towards the living room.

The tray was heavy and unbalanced, but Love Tap’s considerable strength served her well. Still, the contents of the tray clattered as they jumped slightly and bumped against each other. She had the strength, but she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life, which was saying quite a bit considering her son’s friends and her ‘adopted daughters’.

As she walked back into the living room, she received a somewhat concerned look from Princess Celestia and a cold stare from Twilight. Twilight, who immediately took one of the small glasses and the bottle of clear liquid in the raspberry glow of her magic. Following suit, Celestia slowly removed the four bottles of wine, a small glass, and the wine glass, holding them up in her shimmering golden magic.

Love Tap took this opportunity to put the tray down on a round, tinted glass coffee table and uncork the bottle of amber liquid with her forehooves and mouth. Taking the bottle in her mouth, she poured herself a rather full glass of the amber liquid which slushed around her cup before the bubbles in it quickly dissipated. Twilight filled her own glass and floated the bottle towards Celestia. After various glasses were filled and bottles returned to the tray, Love Tap sat in an unoccupied purple chair across from the mares and clutched her drink, waiting for Twilight to tilt her head back and take a huge swig from her drink and Celestia to take a generous sip of hers before Love Tap herself took a healthy gulp.

The strong alcohol warmed her throat to the point of near uncomfortableness, but Love Tap didn’t even notice.

“Princess Twilight?” Celestia said in that same even tone that gave Love Tap no hints as to the larger princesses current feelings. “Perhaps you can explain the current situation to Mrs. Love Tap.”

Clearly doing her best not to sneer as she looked up at the other Princess, Twilight replied with an irritated sounding, “Should I go with the short version, or the long version?”

“I think long would be better,” Celestia said. “The context for what I’m going to ask is rather important.” Celestia turned towards Love Tap. “As well as a full understanding of the magnitude of what has been started today.”

Love Tap quickly drained her cup and reached for the bottle, nearly knocking it over with her forehoof as she did.

“Allow me,” Celestia said as she took the amber bottle in her magic, and poured Love Tap another glass.

“T-thanks!” Love Tap stammered out.

With a heavy sigh exhaled through Twilight’s nose, she took another slug of her drink then held it in front of her with a magenta glow of her horn. “It all started when I was checking up on my newest friendship student…”

~ooo~<

Fizzlepop Berrytwist smiled slightly as she tilted her head to the right then left.

Okay Fizzlepop… You stormed Equestria’s capital and quickly dispatched three Princesses and even took an obsidian orb for Twilight and her friends.

She smiled a bit further, then decided maybe the scarred side of her face wasn’t the one to lead with then turned her head back and to the right.

You.

Fizzlepop smile widened.

Can.

She tilted her head back to the left, raising her chin as high as she could to block visibility to her broken horn while still looking forward.

Do.

Fizzlepop tried the coveted ‘super friendly and welcoming toothed smile’.

This.

Fizzlepop’s smile fell from her face and died tragically as a heavy, full face frown set in and buried the smile under tons of ‘nope, not happening’ rubble. She glared at the mirror.

Why is Twilight having me do this?

‘Knock, knock, knock…’

Tempest let out a heavy sigh. “Coming!” she called out as she approached the large, crystalline green doors with their black metal mesh coverings. She reached out to push the doors and—

I’m sorry but can I ask something, please?

—STOPPED BECAUSE SOMEPONY WON’T LET SOMEPONY ELSE EVEN GET STARTED HERE!

~~>~ooo~<~~

Love Tap recoiled and did her best to push herself back into her own chair, pressing so hard it was as if she hoped the cushions would take her in and she’d fall into some sort of alternative world away from yelling, rage-filled princesses.

Twilight’s chest puffed up and down and she gave Love Tap a stare as if she was contemplating if Princesses could get away with murder or not.

“Twilight?” Celestia called out calmly. “Please calm down. Your anger against actions that have already occurred is not going to help this situation.”

Twilight let out a calming sigh and finished her glass before retrieving the bottle in her magic and pouring herself another.

Celestia looked at Love Tap. “Please forgive Princess Twilight, Mrs. Love Tap,” Celestia said. “As she’s trying to explain, she’s had a quite trying day.”

Love Tap swallowed. “I-I’m sorry…”

Celestia’s lips pulled into a tight smile. “Whether you have anything to apologize for remains to be seen. What was your concern?”

“Er…” Love Tap turned towards Twilight. “Twilight, how do you know what, er… Fizzlepop was doing?”

Twilight threw her forehooves up in the air, nearly knocking her own drink out of the air. “I’m just setting the scene with some insight into my latest student, al-buckin’-right?!”

“Gentle now, Twilight…” Celestia said in a soothing tone.

This elected a glare from Twilight, much to Love Tap’s surprise. Although she had two princesses in her living room, Twilight’s relationship to Celestia was not a secret and whatever had transpired today, it was enough that Twilight didn’t think twice about sending the odd dirty look her former mentor’s way.

Twilight sighed. “Can I continue now?”

“Er, yes… Sorry, Princess Twilight…” Love Tap said.

“Oh, you’re going to be…” Twilight muttered causing Love Tap to once again seek shelter in her chair.

“Twilight!” Celestia snapped.

Twilight took another drink and continued her story.

~ooo~<

Tempest pushed open the double doors, somewhat relieved they had neither knob nor handle for her to flail ineffectually against. Unsurprisingly, Twilight’s smiling face greeted her on the other side. “Princess,” Tempest greeted simply, “what brings you to my palatial living quarters?”

Twilight’s smile plummeted and she looked past Fizzlepop into the room. “I’m sorry, is there something wrong with your room?! Because, there’s loads of others and Spike and I would be more than happy too—”

Fizzlepop held up a forehoof and let out a sigh. “No. Sorry. That wasn’t sarcasm.” Frowning, she added, “I guess I’ll need to work on having a ‘friendlier tone’ in my studies with you.”

Twilight laughed. “I’ll add it to the list!”

Fizzlepop gave Twilight a concerned look. “There’s a list?”

Twilight nodded. “Of course! How else would I track what to work on with you?”

Tempest’s face began to go from plum to a color much closer to Twilight’s. “I hope it’s not too big…”

Twilight swatted at the air dismissively. “Oh, the size of a list isn’t important. It’s all in how you utilize it!” Twilight insisted.

Momentarily caught off guard, Fizzlepop found herself grinning. “Now, was that a horn joke or a lower horn joke?”

Rather than answer, Twilight frowned slightly as she tilted her head and gave Fizzlepop a closer inspection. “I see you’re still wearing your armor…”

Indeed, Fizzlepop was wearing the armor she was given in the service of the Storm King. Though, the Storm King insignias were now scorched beyond recognition. “It’s the only suit of armor I have,” Fizzlepop said with a slightly dark smile.

“Well, do you need to wear armor at all?”

“I’m going to be walking into a room with some peoples who assuredly mostly know me from my time with the Storm King.” Fizzlepop put on a rather professional look like a trained soldier standing at attention. “I only felt protecting myself would be wise and would make me a more ready battle asset for you if the situation so calls for it.”

“Er…” Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “If you really think that’s necessary.”

Fizzlepop nodded. “I do. Unless you order me otherwise, Princess.” The line was delivered evenly as Fizzlepop continued to stand at attention.

Twilight sighed and motioned for Fizzlepop to follow her, Fizzlepop obediently complied. The two mares began trotting down past double-door after double-door that all looked exactly the same amongst violet walls with engravings of trees, mountains, and clouds. “I’m not going to order you to do anything, Fizzlepop. I’m your friend, not your commander.”

“You’re my princess,” Fizzlepop stressed. “Ipso facto, you’re my leader, and therefore can give me orders.”

Twilight scrunched her lips up. “Okay, but I think for this particular relationship it’ll be more helpful to think of me as a friend who's helping you through a difficult transition.”

Fizzlepop raised an eyebrow. “Is throwing me to the timber-wolves supposed to help?”

Twilight grimaced. “I’m not throwing you to the timber-wolves, Tempe-Fizzlepop.” Twilight’s smile returned and she gave Fizzlepop a quick pat on the shoulder. “I’ll be right there with you!”

“My mistake,” Fizzlepop said. “You and I will both run headlong into the Timber-Wolf den and do a little dance for them in the hopes that dancing with timber-wolves placates them instead of convincing them to devour us whole all the quicker!”

Twilight huffed out a sigh. “Don’t worry! If I can forgive you, I’m sure anypony can!”

Fizzlepop looked down at Twilight quizzically. “First of all, we’re not dealing with ponies here.”

“A minor technicality!” Twilight insisted.

“Second of all, I have the benefit of having saved you and your friends. It’s not like I took an obsidian orb for the Queen of the Hippogriff’s daughter or any of the Abyssinian rulers.”

“Okay, but I feel that’s a little unfair considering the Storm King conquered the Abyssinians before you joined forces with him.”

“Third of all, Equestria’s conquering was limited to just Canterlot and was temporary at best,” Fizzlepop frowned, “And neither of these nations had a staff that rebuilt their cities with magical alicorn power.”

“I, uh…” Twilight thought about this for a moment. “RIGHT! Well, that’s why we’re having this meeting; to help them rebuild!” she said with a smile that shown she was proud of coming up with a response so quickly.

Fizzlepop acknowledged this by rolling her eyes. “Finally, I think you’re far more forgiving than most. I mean… Just consider the company you keep.”

“Oh! On that note, Starlight will also be there!” Twilight offered hopefully.

Fizzlepop’s expression went from its already ‘above tepid irritation’ state to ‘bubbling low-simmer glower’ immediately. “Oh good-eeee.”

“Uh… Was that ‘good-ee’ genuine, or sarcasm? Because it sounded like—”

“Sarcasm,” Fizzlepop answered. “Definitely sarcasm.”

Twilight let out a sigh, closed her eyes, and tapped a forehoof to her forehead. “Oh!” she exclaimed suddenly, her eyes going wide. “On a semi-related note,” she took a quick glance around, noting the sameness of her hallways and doors, “any trouble getting around the castle?” she asked.

“No. Why?” Tempest return queried as she tilted her head slightly.

“Just that Starlight still gets lost from time to time.”

A small, yet wicked grin spread across Tempest’s face. “Really…” she purred darkly.

Twilight frowned. “I guess I shouldn’t have told you that…”

Fizzlepop chuckled and shook her head. “It’s just that it’s so easy to navigate. This place is pretty much composed out of landmarks!”

Twilight blinked in surprise a couple times. “It… it is?”

Fizzlepop nodded her head in response. “There’s a large cloud with five swirls etched into the wall behind us above three doors. The doors lead to a bathroom in the center. It’s flanked by two changing rooms that can be locked from the inside, but also from the bathroom.” She nodded forward. “That tree with its three central branches is set next to a quiet study with a with a window that’s only about a floor’s drop from one of the lower crystal branches.” She nodded to her right. “And those twenty-six stars are above a bedroom. It also has a window, but the drop would be straight down to the ground.”

Twilight let out an impressed sounding murmur. “I see why you hoof picked your room, personally.”

Fizzlepop nodded. “And Grubber's… Far enough away that he can’t disturb me, but close enough that we can hear if the other yells, and also I can get to him if we have to retreat to the outside of the castle.”

Twilight nodded and looked forward, her forehead creasing as she looked up at another cloud on her wall. “How can you tell the difference between the cloud behind us and that cloud?” She asked as she pointed with a forehoof briefly.

“That cloud has four swirls,” Fizzlepop answered. She shook her head. “How a pony who’s smart enough to memorize and pull off complex spells can get lost in a place like this is beyond me.”

Twilight giggled nervously. “Well… I, er, memorized the layout by counting doors, actually…”

“No, not you,” Fizzlepop clarified. “Starlight.” She sighed. “That mare conducts herself with such confidence. As if she doesn’t even need to think twice over her actions and yet ‘hallways’ are one of the many things that trip her up.”

Twilight looked up at Fizzlepop with a tight frown and shook her head. “I don’t know why you two don’t get along. You have a lot in common.”

Tempest rolled her eyes so hard it was a wonder the mare didn’t get dizzy. “Oh, yes! We both suffered horrible tragedies somewhat related to friends going off to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns! We should just bond over our shared misery! I’ll just completely overlook the fact that…”

-o-

“…her reason for turning bad isn’t even a very good one!” Starlight exclaimed.

Spike sighed and raised a claw to his face. “Not this again…”

“Well, it’s not!” Starlight insisted. “So her horn got broke and she got a cool facial scar, big freakin’ deal!”

Trixie, wearing her signature star-and-moon patterned purple hat and matching cape, nodded. “It is pretty cool. It matches her broken horn quite well and invites ponies to wonder what the story behind it is.”

Spike nodded in agreement. “It’s a good look for her!” he concurred. “You know Rarity tried to help by covering it with a hat?” He shook his head. “Awful… Just… There’s a mare who does not look good in hats!”

UGH! WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!

~~>~ooo~<~~

Twilight fired off an irate glare at Love Tap from just over her glass.

“What?! I didn’t say anything!”

“But you pulled a face!”

“No I didn’t!” insisted Love Tap.

“Yes you did!” Twilight declared with an accusatory forehoof. “I’m looking right at you when I tell the story, you know!”

“Mares, please!” Celestia interjected. “We’re all adults here. Childish antics have caused quite enough problems.”

Twilight and Love Tap took deep breaths, even deeper drinks, and settled back into their seats.

~ooo~<

Starlight grimaced slightly. “Can I finish, please?!”

I’m letting you finish!

NO! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! STARLIGHT SAID THAT!

Oh, sorry… My mistake.

Starlight continued, “Just, throwing a huge tantrum because your friends went to a special school and you didn’t is the height of overreaction!”

Trixie and Spike exchanged a confused glance before Spike raised a claw in the air. “Uh…”

Starlight let out a disgruntled grunt. “I didn’t throw a tantrum and run away!” Starlight insisted. “I saw a problem in Equestrian society and vowed to fix it!”

“Yeah,” Spike drawled, “through cajoling and creepy brainwashing… I mean… it still feels a bit tantrum-y to me. It just has the benefit of a bit more direction… minus the part where you kinda ended up in the middle of Absolute Nowhere, Equestria.”

Starlight tightened her forehead as much as she could and glowered down at Spike.

“What? It does!” Spike said as he raised his claws into a shrug.

Smiling, Trixie wrapped a foreleg around Starlight’s shoulder. “Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie thinks your tragic, life-changing event is much more compelling than that, blech, Fizzlepop Berrytwist’s.”

“It’s not, but okay…” Spike muttered.

“Thanks, Trixie!” Starlight said as she continued to glare at Spike. “So she suffered a head injury and didn’t go to a special school! I mean… I didn’t go to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns either!”

Trixie retracted her forehoof and nodded. “And you turned out fine!”

Spike winced. “Ouch, good thing Starlight can cast ice spells for that burn.”

Starlight and Trixie stared at Spike blankly.

Spike’s emerald eyes opened wide in worry. “Uh… Just going to try and power on past that one….” Spike sighed heavily. “Besides, aren’t you being a little hard on the mare? I mean… How would you act if you lost your magic at such a young age?”

“I’d…!” Starlight sent her amethyst-colored eyes horn-ward and thought for a moment. “Well… Better than Tempest Shadow, that’s for certain!” Starlight insisted.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Starlight, you didn’t act any better with magic!”

Starlight once again crinkled her forehead, her snout getting in on the action. She turned towards Trixie.

“I’m not sure why you’re looking at me,” Trixie replied. She closed her eyes, tilted her head upwards, and placed a forehoof on her chest, “but I do appreciate the attention.”

Starlight turned back to Spike and sighed. “Okay, you might have something of a point, Spike.”

Trixie grinned. “Too bad Fizzlepop doesn’t! UP TOP!”

Starlight and Trixie shared a quick high-hoof.

Spike regarded the two mares in disgust. “Wow… Never thought I’d see the day where you celebrated ableism, Starlight.” He glanced upwards and bobbed his head from side-to-side. “Trixie…? Eh.”

Starlight continued, “Look, I went off the rails because I lost my only friend to that school! Fizzlepop went nuts just because she…”

-o-

“… didn’t go!” Fizzlepop cried motioning out towards the open hallway.

Twilight let out a groan, clearly regretting she opened a can of worms she wasn’t expecting to be more like a barrel full of face-grabbing cephalopods.

Fizzlepop shook her head. “She could have submitted the application herself!” Fizzlepop said. “At least she would have had the opportunity to try out!” She shook her head. “And you can’t tell me little filly Starlight Glimmer wouldn’t have the magical prowess to be accepted with open forelegs!”

“Alright!” Twilight barked. “I get that you two had similar but slightly differing experiences.”

“There’s nothing slight about an Ursa Minor, Twilight!” Fizzlepop snapped. She frowned slightly. “I mean… once you disregard the fact that ‘minor’ is in its name.”

Twilight huffed out yet another exasperated sigh, one in a long line of sighs she was sure to come concerning her two students. “Okay, well maybe you two should try focusing on what you have in common instead of what’s different between you?”

“Twilight, I’m not sure you quite get it.” She shook her head. “Part of the problem between Starlight and I, is that we’re too similar.”

“… I fail to see how that’s a problem.”

It was Fizzlepop’s turn to huff out a sigh. “Of course you don’t, but looking at Starlight feels like looking at my reflection in a dirty mirror.” Fizzlepop motioned skyward dramatically. “It’s like you want me to wake up and notice that I’m somepony I’m not!” Frowning, she looked back down at Twilight. “It’s not like you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see.”

Twilight put a reassuring forehoof on Fizzlepop’s shoulder as both mares stopped. “I’m not going to pretend I understand first hoof what it’s like to be you, Fizzlepop.” She smiled. “But I think Starlight and you would have a lot to teach each other if you can only come to some sort of an understanding!”

Fizzlepop blew a gust of air through her lips causing them to audibly flap up and down. “Okay, Princess… I’ll try.”

Twilight nodded as the pair began trotting again. “That’s all I ask for.”

“Okay…” Fizzlepop tilted her head and shot Twilight an annoyed expression. “Now, can you stop leading us around in circles?!”

Twilight let out a nervous giggle. “You noticed?”

Fizzlepop nodded. “Immediately.”

“Sorry!” Twilight spat out. “I just wanted to have a nice, leisurely chat with you!” Twilight said as she turned a corner and led the mares to a set of large green double doors. With a magenta glow of Twilight’s horn, they opened revealing a large open area with three long, rectangular conference tables arranged in a ‘U’ shape in front of a number of crystalline chairs. Starlight, Trixie, and Spike stood in a corner chatting to each other.

“Don’t look now, but here comes the new model,” Trixie quipped.

“Ugh… Tell me about it!” Starlight groaned.

Spike folded his arms and shot a dirty look Starlight’s way. “Do you and Fizzlepop just continuously come up with new reasons to hate each other? If it’s not you complaining that Twilight is trying to replace you, it’s Fizzlepop griping about how you use your magic for everything.”

Starlight peered at Spike quizzically. “I thought you and Fizzlepop didn’t really talk.”

Spike shrugged with an open claw. “We don’t, but me and Grubber hang out! It’s kinda like a small, underappreciated helper gathering.”

“Say, where is the fat little creature, anyhow?” Trixie asked looking about. “Also, what is he?”

“Twilight let him sleep in,” explained Spike, “she said she had plenty of help for these diplomatic meetings.” Spike leaned in and used a claw to block out ears that might be listening in—

Fat load of good that did.

SSSSSSHHHH!

— “And I think Twilight feels she might be pushing things a bit with Tempest Shadow as it is. Two ex-Storm King henchmen might be too much at first.”

“Yet another reason she should just skip these meetings!” Starlight quipped.

Spike rolled his eyes once more, going so far as to inform Starlight that, “I’m rolling my eyes as hard as I can at you. Anyways, Grubber didn’t seem to mind at all, though he was hoping Twilight would soften the guests up enough that he could attend the buffet.” Spike raised a foreclaw. “Also, he’s a hedgehog.”

“Ugh…” Starlight took her turn to roll her eyes. “I’m surprised you tolerate him at all Spike. You’re way cooler than him.”

“Uh… thanks?” Spike said in an unsure tone. “I mean… it’s not a competition or anything… Hey, wait! Do you just automatically hate Grubber because he hangs out with Fizzlepop?!”

Starlight pulled a scrunchy face. “…Maybe…”

Trixie raised a forehoof. “I feel that is reason enough.”

“Girls, I’m going to wear out my eye muscles at this rate!” He gave both mares a serious look. “I’m not going to pretend Grubber has some sort of charming Casanova-like personality that makes everypony instinctively like him.”

Trixie smiled wryly and winked at Spike. “Like somepony we know.”

Spike chuckled. “Aw, shucks. Thanks, Trixie.”

Trixie’s smile dropped. “Thanks for what? I was talking about myself.”

Spike shot an annoyed look toward the ceiling. “Of course you were.” He turned back to Starlight. “But Grubber's got his moments. He’s certainly smarter than he looks!”

“Like somepony we know!” Trixie repeated with the same grin and wink.

Spike frowned heavily. “That was directed at me this time, wasn’t it?”

Trixie giggled and nodded.

Spike shot the magician a glare. “Just remember who you ask to clean your cape and hat when they get too dirty.”

Starlight tossed up a forehoof. “Look, all I’m saying is the second Twilight had an opportunity to reform yet another unicorn, she invited her into the castle without a second thought!”

“So?” Spike replied with a shrug of both his claws. “It’s Twilight. She’d probably have invited Tirek if she thought it’d make a difference… and Sunset, if she was really thinking at all…”

“I didn’t get an invite!” Trixie pointed out.

“Twilight didn’t have a castle yet!” Spike countered.

It was finally Trixie’s turn to roll her eyes. “Right, because when she got one the first thing she did was send a written invitation to me!”

“Okay, you got me there,” Spike said, “though, if she had, it’d probably get lost in the mail anyway, given Ponyville mail services and you moving around all the time.”

“Ugh…” Starlight groaned as she glared across the room at Fizzlepop. “There she is just listening to Twilight and rolling her eyes at everything she says!”

Another eyeroll from Spike. “Right, who even does that?” he asked sarcastically.

Starlight shook her head. “The least she could do is be respectful to the princess who gave her a second chance.”

Trixie tilted her head. “Let’s agree to disagree on that point… of which I should remind everypony that Fizzlepop has no—”

“Give it a rest, Trixie!” Spike flung out a claw towards Starlight. “Look, nopony expects you two to be besties!”

Starlight’s brow knit together as she looked down at Spike. “Twilight certainly did!”

Trixie nodded. “Right! I mean almost immediately she was all… ‘Oh, Starlight! Here’s Fizzlepop Berrytwist! She totally needs a friend who can relate to her problems, and help her be a better pony! And now you don’t have to hang out with that Trixie who’s a ‘bad influence’,” Trixie concluded with air quotes.

“That’s ridiculous!” Spike asserted.

“I know, right?!” Trixie said. “Starlight was already plenty bad before she met me!”

“No! I mean… Well, yeah, but… There’s no way Twilight introduced Fizzlepop to Starlight like that.”

The left side of Starlight’s lips went upward, seemingly unbalancing her head as it tilted to the other side. “I think we all know Twilight at least implied all that, Spike.”

“I…” Spike’s face pulled inward slightly. “Okay, probably. But it’d be nice if you two could at least walk past each other in the hallway without getting into a fight!”

-ooo-<

Fizzlepop and Starlight trotted down one of the many hallways of the castle heading toward one another. They locked eyes as they approached and held the other’s gaze, both refusing to look away as if they were playing a game of ‘stare chicken’, their expressions becoming more and more irritated the closer they got. Finally, both broke eye contact as they began to walk past their current, perceived nemesis.

“Sociopath,” uttered Fizzlepop.

“Edge-horse,” mumbled Starlight.

Both mares suddenly wheeled around and sneered. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

I’m sorry, but I really need to call a time-out here!

WHAT THE HAY IS IT THIS TIME?!

Why are you explaining something even further back in time?! How can you possibly have this much detail around things you weren’t even present for?!

~~>-ooo-<~~

Once again, Twilight found herself glowering at Love Tap from behind her drink. “I was just adding additional background information, alright?!”

“Oh, okay? But that doesn’t explain how much detail you have for everything else!” Love Tap countered.

“Perhaps it’s best if I explain,” Celestia said calmly.

Love Tap looked up at the Princess, her hair still shimmering and flowing in the breezeless living room. Something she might have questioned if it weren’t for the propeller beanie her son always wore spinning away so long as it rested atop his head. “Uh, yes please, your highness.”

Celestia nodded as she took a moment to pour herself a refill for her glass of wine. “There’s a spell that allows one to peer into the past. Because it’s time magic, there are severe restrictions regarding when it is allowed to be used.”

“Restrictions?”

“Matters relating to national security and investigations around such,” Celestia said evenly.

“… Oh…” Love Tap replied before she emptied her glass. She felt she’d be getting a lot of use of that utterance today. Setting her glass down, her brow tightened somewhat. “Wait, why is Twilight taking the time to narrate, then? Can’t we just use the spell to show me?”

Twilight’s glances were rapidly approaching apoplectic. “Hey! I’m even including the disparaging things my oldest friend Spike is saying about me! It’s not like you’re getting a big dose of ‘unreliable narrator’ here!”

“Well, it just seems like it would be easier…”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed as her lips widened into a disconcerting grin. “The spell requires any participants to basically observe time from two points simultaneously. Ponies who are used to the complexities of powerful magics can usually handle the strain with a minimum of stress on the psyche. Any pony without those experiences is likely to go mad.”

Love Tap gulped and reached for her glass and bottle. “Right, my apologies, please continue.”

-ooo-<

-ooo-<

The two mares grit their teeth at each other, once again locked into a staring contest. Fizzlepop’s horn began to spark dangerously as Starlight’s began to ‘hum’ with electric blue magics.

I think you can safely skip the rest of this encounter, Twilight.

<-ooo->

Trixie tittered to herself. “Who wants to bet that Twilight is trying to spin getting along with you to Fizzlepop as some sort of friendship lesson.”

Spike pursed his lips into a tight frown and said nothing.

“Ugh!” was Starlight’s response. “No deal. That’s such a Twilight Sparkle move, it hurts!”

Trixie giggled. “Oh, she’s coming right towards us!” She turned towards Starlight. “I bet she opens with you getting along with Fizzlepop as a friendship lesson.”

“… I feel a migraine coming on…” Starlight mumbled, her amethyst eyes widening.

“Hey Starlight, Spike!” Twilight greeted with a smile that wilted slightly as she turned to the other pony present. “Trixie.”

“Trixie caught that look!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Starlight, I wanted to talk to you for a second.”

Trixie grinned widely as she giddily cantered in place. “Oh, here it comes!”

Twilight sighed. “Would you two excuse us for a second?”

Starlight raised a forehoof. “No, no! It’s fine! I’m sure my dear and best friends would benefit from hearing this as much as me.”

Twilight pursed her lips for a moment then nodded. “Okay… Well, I know you and Fizzlepop have had trouble adjusting to each other’s presence as of late.”

Trixie’s smile widened and a giddy “Eeeeeeee!” began to exit from her clenched teeth.

The corners of Spike’s lips began to drop like they were trying to get away from what was about to go down.

Twilight continued, seemingly oblivious to the reactions of the other two, “So I thought, ‘Hey! Figuring out how to get along with a pony who might rub you the wrong way initially is an important social skill to pick up!’”

Starlight stared at Twilight like Twilight was blaring a whistle at her while blinding her with a spotlight as she barreled at a dizzying speed down a track that Starlight was tied to.

“Oh my gosh!” Trixie exclaimed as she danced in place some more. “Here it comes! Here it comes!”

Spike sighed and extended an open claw. “Right, preparing facepalm.”

“So!” Twilight smiled widely and placed her forehooves on Starlight’s shoulders. “Maybe you can treat getting along with Fizzlepop as a sort of friendship lesson!”

Starlight exploded into a pained moan causing Twilight to lift a forehoof up and recoil.

Trixie pumped a victorious forehoof. “And BOOM goes the fireworks!”

Spike smashed his open claw right between his eyes. “Facepalm deployed!”

“It hurts!” Starlight exclaimed as she clutched the sides of her head. “Right in the think-pan!” She massaged her temples and thought frantically: Was it really possible the mare that had saved her from herself was this oblivious and predictable to all things friendship?

I hate to interrupt.

RECENT EVIDENCE SUGGESTS OTHERWISE!

Okay, just… How do you know what everypony is thinking? Even ponies who are not yourself?

It’s best we not delve too deeply into magic that is all but forbidden to all but the highest echelon of magic users.

Well…

WHAT IS IT NOW?!

I’m sorry but this spell… I mean… I love and trust my princesses…

SCOFF! GRUNT OF DISPLEASURE! FURTHER NOISES SHOWING I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!

Er… But with a spell like this it seems you could spy on all of Equestria… Forgive me if that unnerves me.

That’s a fair and understandable reaction. As mentioned, the spell is only called upon for the most critical of situations where the understanding of an event is crucial to preventing it from happening again. Even with some of the more dire situations Equestria has faced, we’ve managed to avoid it’s use. However, this particular event involved several heads of foreign states in addition to Twilight and her staff.

...I’d like to say I feel better now, but… Well, I let’s just say I feel FAR less concerned about being spied on at the moment…

DO YOU THINK USING THIS SPELL WAS SOMEHOW A ‘POSITIVE EXPERIENCE’ FOR ME?! I ENDED UP LISTENING IN ON A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS AS THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT ME IN ADDITION TO PICKING UP THEIR SURFACE THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER! I’D SAY THAT WAS THE WORST PART OF THE DAY, BUT GIVEN THERE’S SO MUCH TO CHOOSE FROM, IT’S RATHER HARD TO SAY.

...glug, glug, glug…

DO YOU WANT NEGA-PRINCESSES?! BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET NEGA-PRINCESSES!

Twilight? Your anger is understandable, but perhaps you should take a moment to relax.

...GLUG, GLUG, GLUG…

Mrs. Love Tap, I also recommend that if you have any further questions regarding Twilight’s narrative, you say them now. I feel your interruptions are, well… shall we say ‘poking the Ursa Major’ at the moment.”

...glug, glug… Okay. I’m sorry. I just… This is a lot to take in!

OH! SO YOU’RE THE PONY WE SHOULD BE FEELING SORRY FOR IN THIS SITUATION!

Twilight, please!

...glug, glug… Fair… But I also thought this was going to be a story about my son and his friends! I appreciate you setting things up like this, but I think it’d also help if I knew what they were up to during this time.

I’m sorry, my little pony. However, I’m afraid there’s no way Twilight could possibly—

Button’s back legs flailed out from one of his saddlebags, his head and nearly the entire front half of his body shoved down amongst the video game cartridges and consoles he’d brought.

… I stand corrected.

“Uh? Button?” Apple Bloom called out. “Maybe this would go better if ya just took out the games and stuff first!”

“What, and get them dirty?!” Button exclaimed. “I don’t think so…”

Apple Bloom glanced around their surroundings, a rather unremarkably pristine Ponyville day. However, her eyes focused off into the horizon toward a forest past the small hills and homes of Ponyville. “Whatcha think was gonna happen when we got to the Everfree forest?” she asked. “If ya think it’s dirty out here…”

“Well, I was gonna collect wood and make a small house first!” Button replied. “You know… to keep the zombies away, too!”

Apple Bloom let out a heavy sigh. “Ah’m jus’ gonna power right past that one…”

“We’re baAaAaAaAaAack~!”

Apple Bloom turned to see Scootaloo on her scooter, helmet on her head, and beating her tiny wings like a hummingbird as she sped down the path, the rope around her waist tied to a cart loaded with fireworks of all shapes and sizes and one slightly nervous-looking white unicorn filly in the back. She stopped both herself and cart in front of Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom looked over the cart. “Pinkie Pie give ya any trouble?”

“Hah!” Scootaloo said. “Does she ever?” She took off her helmet and shook her bright magenta mane free. “Anyhow, we got the goods so you and Button can stop making out behind Sweetie’s back.”

“HEY!” Sweetie called out, she leapt out of the cart and ran up to Button whose flank was still pointed skyward.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Sweetie Belle, ya gotta know Button and I weren’t up to any funny business…” She tapped her chin for a moment. “That didn’t involve plannin’ for our attack, that is.”

Scootaloo chuckled to herself. “Yeah, Sweets. I was only trying to rustle your jimmies. Seems I rustled them really good!”

Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo. “Well, it wasn’t funny!”—

“It was a little funny,” Scootaloo quipped.

—“You know Button and Apple Bloom used to date!”

Apple Bloom tossed her forehooves in the air. “Jus’ ONCE! ‘Cause ya forced me to, you memory-addled barn cat!” She motioned towards Scootaloo. “Ya forced the both of us!”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “Can’t believe Apple Bloom’s date was somehow worse than mine, though!”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a sour look. “Ah feel that’s a matter of opinion.”

“I took Button to a simple skate park!” Scootaloo said.

“An’ Greasy’s! Don’t forget Greasy’s!”

Scootaloo shuddered. “I wish I could, but somehow I see it every time I close my eyes for too long and smell it right before I drift off to a night of terrifying nightmares.” the daredevils eyes unfocused, as she stared off into the void, horrified for a few seconds, “Anyway!” she shook it off and leveled an accusatory forehoof at Apple Bloom. “You ran him through a bunch of our old cutie mark getting attempts! And they were the worst, most dangerous ones!”

“Well, of course!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Ah couldn’t run the risk that Button would have fun and actually fall for me, now could I?!”

Sweetie Belle’s mouth practically unhinged. “Ah—”

A muffled cry from Button suddenly escaped his saddle bag, “Gah! Help! I’m stuck!”

Sweetie Belle turned, and with an emerald glow of her horn, lifted Button out of his bag and set him on the ground.

Button smiled at Sweetie Belle. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle! You really helped me out there.”

“Oh… It was nothing!” Sweetie Belle said with a beaming smile.

“It pretty much wasn’t,” Scootaloo mumbled.

“I couldn’t find the glove,” Button informed. He looked at his other bag. “Maybe, it’s in this one?”

“I can help you find it!” Sweetie Belle said enthusiastically.

“No, no!” Button said. “I got this!” he exclaimed before diving headfirst into his other bag.

“Okay, Button, my sweet! I love you!”

“Love you, too!” Button’s muffled reply came as he rummaged through his bag.

Sweetie Belle turned back to Apple Bloom. “—hah!” she concluded, pointing an accusing forehoof. “So you did think you had a chance with Button!”

Scootaloo groaned. “Not this again…”

“Sweetie Belle, believe us,” Apple Bloom said. “Except for maybe Button’s mom, nopony wanted ‘ta see you two together more than us two!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Right! Watching you two tiptoe around your feelings because you didn’t want to hurt each other hurt us instead... Mentally, emotionally, and physically!” Scootaloo looked over at Button’s house across the field that served as a courtyard by Twilight’s castle. The home clearly being a bit larger than the houses around it. “I mean… now our weekly dose of Button-related madness mostly comes from his family’s new additions…” She turned back towards Sweetie Belle, “Not you two bumbling through the world’s most drawn out confession.”

Apple Bloom’s red bow flopped about as the filly nodded her head so hard in agreement, it was almost surprising she didn’t hurt her neck.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Come on guys! I’m sure my chase after Button Mash wasn’t nearly as drawn out as another pony’s chase!”

“Found it!” Button declared triumphantly, still head and forehooves down in his bag. There was a pause before his back legs began flailing rapidly. “Ah! Sweetie Belle! Help! I’m stuck again!”

“Don’t worry, Button, my love!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I’m coming!” she said as her horn glowed emerald once more.

Scootaloo’s eyes made one more rotation around her orbital sockets. “One might say you’re already there!”

Button was once again pulled free of his bag, this time clutching a gray cylindrical item with an opening at one end and four digits at the other in his forehooves. Sweetie Belle gently lowered him back to the grass where Button slowly lowered the item.

“Yay!” Button cried as he reared up on his back hooves and swung his forehooves about. He followed this up by rushing up to Sweetie Belle and wrapping his forehooves around her neck. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle. You’re the best!” he said, punctuating the statement with a kiss on Sweetie Belle’s cheek which immediately flushed with a pink hue along with the other.

“Oh… It was my pleasure,” Sweetie Belle said with a slight blush.

“Whatcha got there, Button?” Apple Bloom asked as she and Scootaloo trotted up and looked at the foreign device with its collection of Buttons on the side and peculiar-looking grasping appendages at the end.

Scootaloo’s face lit up. “Some sort of futuristic cybernetic fist that’ll help us overthrow the Monarchy?!”

Button Mash grinned at Scootaloo. “Sort of!” he answered. He nosed the open end of the device and grunted as he picked it up with one forehoof and sat on his haunches as he attempted to shove his other hoof inside it, grunting awkwardly as the device continued to confound him.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow and gave Scootaloo smug smirk. “‘Oligarchy’,” she corrected.

“Uh? Gesundheit?”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “‘Monarchy’ means a single ruler. ‘Oligarchy’ means control is in the hand of a small group of elites.”

Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a determined look. “Well, then… I hope Button’s device will help us overthrow the Oligarchy as well as the aristocratic support structure for it, and… you know what? Let’s overturn the bourgeoisie while we’re at it!”

Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a blank stare for a moment. “Okay… Even I have to admit that was pretty impressive.”

Scootaloo smiled proudly. “As I said, you’ve got your interests, I’ve got mine!”

“Uh, girls?” Apple Bloom pointed towards Button who was still grunting as he fumbled awkwardly with the device in his forehooves.

“Er… Button?” Sweetie Belle said. “Do you need—”

Button clamped on one of the digits with his mouth. “Iff goff thiff!” he insisted. After a bit more fumbling, he finally got the device on. “Ta-da!” he said as he held four digits up as high as he can.

“Cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “What’s it do? Also… What is it?”

Button grinned. “It’s the Mega Glove!” Button exclaimed. “It makes it so me and my games are one!” He chuckled. “Everything else is foal’s play!”

The three fillies present all let out disappointed groans.

“My games and I, Button!” Sweetie Belle clarified.

“That should not even remotely be your issue!” Scootaloo fumed.

“Ya mean it jus’ helps ya with video games!” Apple Bloom bemoaned.

Button shrugged. “Well… It makes me feel powerful wearing it!”

Scootaloo sighed. “Guess that’s better at having you freak out and cry for your mom when things get tough.”

Sweetie Belle turned and glowered at Scootaloo.

“What! He does!” Scootaloo insisted as she motioned towards Button.

“Well, he should be crying out for me!”

“… That’s the part you’re having trouble with?!”

“Hey!” Apple Bloom called out. “Some ponies are walking over to Twilight’s castle!”

“Quick! Behind the cart!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed before she, Scootaloo, and Button quickly made their way behind the parked vehicle.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Right, let’s all gather by the explosives, ‘cause that ain’t dangerous!”

“We're throwing a coup!” Scootaloo shot back. “Danger is now our middle names! Possibly our first and last names, too!”

Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a scrutinizing look. “So all four of us are now ‘Danger Danger Danger’?” She took her turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah, that won’t get old anytime soon.”

Scootaloo thought for a moment. “Okay… Maybe we can brainstorm, like… nine synonyms for ‘Danger’!”

Sweetie Belle thought about this for a moment.

“There’s four of us, Scoots!” Apple Bloom pointed out. “We’d need eleven!”

“Hah!” Scootaloo shook her head. “Four times three is twelve, AB! Thought you were supposed to be good at math.”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a smug look. “But one of us can use danger once, so it’s four times three minus one!”

“Oh… right…” Scootaloo said sheepishly.

“Menace?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Crisis? Risk?”

“Hey, that’s good!” Scootaloo said, pointing at Sweetie Belle. “One of us can be Menace Crisis Risk!”

Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her head. “Kinda a mouthful, doncha think?”

Scootaloo grinned. “We can shorten it to MCR!”

Sweetie Belle seemed to consider this. “I don’t know… Somehow I feel like that would be a good nickname for Fizzlepop…”

“Yeah, I don’t think those are ponies,” Button called out as he squinted off into the distance.

The three fillies collected themselves and joined Button behind the cart.

“He’s right!” Sweetie Belle said as she too squinted off into the distance. “The two front ones are too tall to be ponies and the three in the back…” Sweetie Belle scrunched her lips up. “Are walking on their back legs? Maybe Twilight is getting a visit from a trio of draconequuses?” She frowned. “I don’t know the word a for a group of draconequuses…”

“Uh… A chaos?” Apple Bloom suggested.

“A befuddle!” Button exclaimed.

“Oh, good one!” Sweetie Belle said with a smile.

“Abort!” Scootaloo cried out.

The other three foals looked at her quizzically. “‘A bort’?” Sweetie Belle replied. “Scoots, ‘bort’ isn’t even a word!”

“No! Not ‘A’ bort. Abort! Like… ‘let’s give up’!”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom let out sounds of confusion.

“Yer the one of us who was all gung-ho about preemptively throwing this revolution!” Apple Bloom suggested.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said. “Against Twilight and other unicorns… Spike maybe… Not a trio of reality warping demi-beasts! I’m excited to enforce sweeping changes to the nation through almost any means necessary, but I’m not suicidal. Even with all the terrible, terrible memories of our cutie mark acquiring attempts stuck in my head!”

“Wait!” Button called out. “I think I have something that’ll help!” He rushed over to his saddle bags with an uneven gait, his right forehoof still stuck in the Mega Glove.

Scootaloo let out a groan. “Button, I’m know you have lots of cool video game accessories, but we’re not going to wait here while you get stuck aga—”

“Found it!” Button said enthusiastically as he held up a flat rectangular object and punctuated his find with a dramatic and melodic. “Da-da-da-duuuuuuun!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glanced at Scootaloo and snickered.

Scootaloo’s face tightened. “That doesn’t change the fact that it’s going to be a useless video game enhancer.”

Button once again awkwardly returned behind the cart. “It’s the magnifying lens for my Joyboy!” he said happily as he momentarily showed it off then shoved the lens’ between his gloves thumb and forefinger. “This should make it easier to see!”

“Wow! Good idea, Button!” Apple Bloom said as Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a smug smile.

Scootaloo folded her forelegs across her chest. “Okay, so a broken colt is right two times a day… And hey, those were the two times.”

“That’s not how clocks work!” Sweetie Belle snapped.

“I said ‘colt’!”

“That just means your analogy is stupid!” Sweetie Belle retorted.

“Well, your face is stupid!”

“They’re not a befuddle!” Button Mash cried out. “Also, Scootaloo, I’m prepared to slap you across the face with the mega glove as hard as I can if it comes to it,” Button said in an even tone.

Sweetie Belle gave Button an adoring smile as Scootaloo raised her forelegs up in front of her defensively. “Right, my bad. I took it too far. You were saying something about a bee-puddle?”

“I said that ‘they’re not a befuddle!” Button repeated.

“A what now?” Apple Bloom asked.

“A group of draconequuses,” clarified Sweetie Belle. She looked amongst the ponies present. “Did we not sign off on that?”

“I thought we aborted?” Scootaloo said.

“Oh!” Button said as he continued to pear through his lense. “They’re like… big cats that walk on their hind legs?”

“Lemme see!” Apple Bloom said. Button held his glove in front of Apple Bloom’s face. Her eyes drifted over a smiling brown-furred feline wearing a red coat with two golden buttons at the top and two shorter black-furred felines in purple outfits complete with capes. “They’re Abyssinians!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Feline folk who live in a desert way down south!”

Scootaloo tilted her head. “How do you know that?”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a smug smile. “You have yer hobbies, I have mine!”

“What! Unfair!” Scootaloo said. “You already have math! You can’t have geogiraffy, too!”

“‘Geography’!” Sweetie Belle corrected as she cozied up to Button and peered through the lens.

“See!” Scootaloo motioned to Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie just has the one thing!”

“Uh… Looks like some sort of half-pony half-eagles, entering the castle now,” Sweetie Belle said. “Oh, like that one that helped saved Canterlot!” She practically pressed her field-green eye against the lens. “In fact, I’m sure one of those is her!”

“That’d be the hippogriffs!” Apple Bloom informed. “They’re from even further South than the Abyssinians!”

“Quit showing off!” Scootaloo barked.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “I dunno, girls—”

“And Button Mash!” Sweetie Belle stressed.

Button chuckled. “That’s okay, Sweetie… I don’t mind being one of the girls.”

“Uh… Oh?” Sweetie Belle replied as she looked at Button in confusion.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo chimed in. “Button doesn’t need to subscribe to any heteronormative labels just to conform to a toxic societal construct so he’s witnessed defending his masculinity at every turn!”

Everypony turned and stared at Scootaloo blankly for a moment.

“Yes!” Scootaloo pumped a forehoof into the air. “I found my second thing!”

Apple Bloom sighed. “You know, maybe ‘abort’ isn’t such a bad idea.”

“You all told me it was stupid!” Scootaloo snapped. “And I wasn’t even suggesting it as a name so even I think it’s stupid!”

“No! Ah mean like the actual word!”

“What?! Are you kidding?!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Now we have to go!”

“Are ya sure?!” Apple Bloom said. “Before it was even iffy if we’d have even numbers! Now we’re totally outnumbered!”

Sweetie Belle gave Apple Bloom an unsure look. “Leaving our homes to find our tragic destiny was your idea in the first place!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah! You kept on going on about how you wanted to be cool like Fizzlepop!”

“So cool…” Button whispered.

“Geez, I know!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

Apple Bloom nodded. “Sure! But I thought we’d go to the Everfree Forest for a bit and maybe we could all pick up some survival skills? Learn some sagely wisdom and powerful potions from Zecora?” She nodded towards Button Mash. “Maybe Button coulda got his cutie mark in like… Bear wrestling or bear blastin’ to counter the very real lightnin’ Fizzlepop has.”

“Or I could get it in skeleton slaying!” Button cried out. “Or creeper crushing, or even zombie… uh… Zamboni…ing…”

Sweetie Belle chuckled. “Not real things, Button.”

Scootaloo spoke up, “A Zamboni is a totally real thing! Ha! Score one for Scootaloo, nerd!”

Sweetie Belle wrinkled her brow at Scootaloo. “Okay, but ‘Zomboniing’ isn’t a word.”

“D’uh!” Scootaloo said. “The act of zamboning!”

“That makes even less sense!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Scootaloo smiled at Sweetie Belle. “Betcha like it if you and Button where zamboning right now!”

Sweetie Belle’s face flushed red enough a ripe tomato would return to being green with envy. “Uh… Wha-wha-what makes you—”

“Ah say we put it to a vote!” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “You want us to vote on if Sweetie and Button zambone? I mean… I’m relieved they’re a couple, but even watching them smooch too much kinda squicks me out.”

“I vote ‘yes’!” Button said hastily.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes hot open wide as she stared at Button. She began to sweat profusely. “Wow… Uh… This is a bit sudden… and we’re still a little young… so…”

“That’s okay, Sweetie Belle!” Button replied chipperly. “I don’t want to force you into anything you're uncomfortable with!”

Sweetie Belle breathed of a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Button. That makes me feel better…” she glanced around and pointed with a forehoof, “but maybe we could make out a little behind that bush!”

“Again, ew!” Scootaloo said.

“Would ya all focus?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Ah meant we should take a vote on if we continue with the coup attempt!”

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “That sounds suspiciously like democracy to me!”

The redness in her face slowly becoming a soft pink, Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “And that’s worse than the oligarchy we currently have?”

Scootaloo shrugged. “Eh, I’m going for maybe more of an equal socialist outcome, possibly after a complete societal shutdown that forces ponies to fend for themselves in a post-government environment for a bit.”

Once again, blank stares met Scootaloo’s declaration.

Scootaloo continued, “But as long as our actions don’t result in a form of government where power is even more localized, or worse, create some sort of despot or dictator figure who rules with an iron, or cyber fist—”

Button chuckled and held up the mega glove. Stared at it, then quickly brought it down to his chest as he pressed the fingers into a fist, his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on the task.

Sweetie Belle giggled mirthfully at the display.

“—I’m confident our actions can enact sweeping, positive change.” Scootaloo’s smile grew. “And with other countries’ representatives present, we can possibly inflict change on a global scale. So… I vote ‘yay!’”

Apple Bloom nodded in understanding. “Neigh,” she uttered.

“What?! Come on!” Scootaloo cried. “You wanted your tragic backstory! Wanted it more than anything!”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah, but now there’s a buncha other creatures that’re gonna get caught up in this! We didn’t account fer that! Who knows what’ll happen with ‘em or how they’ll react?!”

“Tte,” Scootaloo spat out in an annoyed tone. “Guess your new name is ‘Trouble Peril Danger!’”

“… TPD?” Apple Bloom asked in confusion.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said with a nod. “‘Cause you’re so tepid!”

“…”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes opened in surprise. “Wow… That was really good.”

Scootaloo grinned at Sweetie Belle. “Thanks! I’d been saving that one.”

“Alright,” Apple Bloom said as her sunset-colored eyes did a rotation, “yeah, ya got me good. I still vote ‘neigh!”

Scootaloo sighed and turned towards Sweetie Belle. “Okay, so what’ your vote, Sweetie…”

“Er… Uh…” Sweetie Belle looked between the foals present nervously. “Er… I vote whatever Button votes!”

Scootaloo groaned. “First off, you two throw ‘I love you around’ so much, you could tell time by it!”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Scootaloo… That analogy makes no sense! You should have said that Button and I say ‘I love you’ so predictably that you could tell time by it!’”

“Alright, cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed in an exasperated tone. “Analogies are your second thing! Point is, you don’t need to try to get Button to like you! It feels like we all spent at least a novel working through that. Second off, there’s no question that Button is going to say—”

“Yay!”

“—that and make me look like an idiot for doubting him a third time.” Scootaloo sighed, crossing her forearms across her chest sullenly. “You think ya know a pony…”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at Button, surprise mirrored across their faces.

“Really?” Apple Bloom said. “Yer really still up for all this? Ah mean… We’re gonna be shootin’ off fireworks indoors! Ah mean… If Ah stop and think about what we’re tryin’ to do for jus’ a second—”

“So don’t think!” Button Mash exclaimed with a huge smile.

“… Kinda par for the course with us,” Sweetie Belle quipped.

“Shhh…!” Scootaloo said as she swatted at Sweetie Belle. “I like this new Button, let’s hear him out.”

“OH! So now you like—”

“Just shut up, okay?!” Scootaloo snapped. “Button’s got ‘impassioned speech’ written all over his face, and aside from a moderately better ability to maintain focus over us three, he needs a second thing!”

Sweetie Belle clamped her mouth closed and looked towards Button. Apple Bloom likewise focused her attention on the young colt.

“Crusaders, we’ve been given an opportunity!” Button began as he paced back in forth as he held his mega glove to his side, though with the three legs it was less dramatic and more awkward-appearing hopping. “An opportunity to turn our tragedy into victory, not just for us, but for pony kind!”

“Can I hum while he’s doing this?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I feel this can use music.”

Alright, fine!” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle began humming an uplifting, stately tune as Button marched on with his speech. “The Princess’s castle has been looming over Ponyville for four score minus most of those four and we’ve all been living in its shadow… I mean… me especially. While the Princess might be unquestionably nice… just like… almost all the time… she needs to be shown her tender-hoofed oppression, or more accurately, mostly unobtrusive help won’t be tolerated forever. It’s time to look past all the selfless acts of self-sacrifice and bravery she’s brought to Ponyville! Time to look past all the times she saved the entire town and even Equestria from certain doom and destruction!”

“… My ‘neigh’ grows by the sentence,” Apple Bloom muttered.

“Shhh! I like it!” Scootaloo countered.

“Twilight has shown time and time again that she can rise to the occasion and save every pony almost single-hoofedly, if need be!” Button leveled his glove fist at the three Crusaders. “Are we…” Trailing off, he brought the glove up to his mouth and grabbed the forefinger with his mouth to turn it into a point which he directed to the three crusaders. “Are we going to just sit back and accept that?”

“… Yes?” Apple Bloom suggested.

“NO!” Button cried. He turned towards the castle and glowered at it. “I don’t know about you three, but I’m tired of having to be saved all the time! I’m tired of just lying back while the villains roll over us as we wait for the Twilight Cavalry to come save the day! It’s time we show Twilight, show Equestria, show the world that the ponies of Ponyville can stand up for themselves and that even if they beat back Twilight, that just means there are still the ponies who beat HER that are ready to fight tooth and hoof!”

Button turned and extended his Mega glove. “So, with an open palm—”

“The glove’s pointing, Button,” Scootaloo said.

Button quickly brought the glove to his mouth and pried open the fingers before extending it again. “So! With an open palm, I ask you to join me! Let’s show Princess Twilight that we’re the toughest of the tough! Not just for ourselves, not just to show Twilight she doesn’t always need to save the day, but to show the entire planet that the ponies of Ponyville are the baddest mother-buckers around and that to even think of messing with our town is to invite a beat—” Button let out a frustrated growl as he brought the glove back to his chest and began closing each digit one-by-one.

Still humming, Sweetie Belle took the fingers in an emerald glow and gently closed them.

Button shot Sweetie a grin before smiling triumphantly and raised his ‘fist’ to the sky before bringing down to the ground hard enough to send grass clumps up into the air. “—invite a beat down on their faces! And we won’t even need any Princesses or super-strong unicorns to do it!” He turned. “No offense Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle simply beamed in response and dove at Button, wrapped her forearms around him in a tight hug. “None taken!” She kissed Button on the cheek. “That was incredible!”

“Really?!” Button replied, returning the hug.

“Are you kidding?!” Sweetie Belle said as she broke the hug and looked Button in the eyes. She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “It was so good, I think I just hit puberty…” she purred.

“Ah’ll say!” Apple Bloom agreed.

“Oh, good!” Scootaloo said. “I was going to feel super awkward if it was just me and Sweetie Belle!”

“What?! No!” Apple Bloom said. She turned towards Button. “I jus’ mean that was a mighty stirring speech.”

Scootaloo looked down. “Something is stirring, alright…”

“HEY!” Sweetie Belle said.

Scootaloo looked up at Sweetie with a grin. “My heart of course!”

“… That’s only marginally better!” shrilled Sweetie Belle.

“Alright, y’all!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Ah’m tryin’ to say that Button’s speech convinced me! Let’s do it for our ourselves, our family, and our pony pride! Yeeeehaaa!”

Sweetie Belle backed away from Button and nodded. “I’m in! I’d follow a brave pony like you to the end of the planet!”

“Aw, shucks!” Button replied with a slight blush. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle!”

“Heh, yeah…” Scootaloo uttered as she gave Button a scrutinizing look. “You are acting a lot braver. You even swore during your speech.”

Button Mash chuckled. “Guess I’ll just have to steal a bit from Twilight’s royal treasury for the swear jar!”

Scootaloo looked over Button another few moments before she turned towards the other girls. “Okay, as much as I’m enjoying ‘Bold New Button’, this pretty much makes no sense since this is Button we’re talking about and he gets scared going out at night to take out the trash!”

Button smirked and held up the mega glove above him. “It’s all in the glove, girls!” Button declared. “It’s so bad…”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Well if it’s bad, then why’r ya wearing it?”

“He meant ‘bad’ as in ‘good’,” Sweetie Belle clarified.

Apple Bloom grunted in displeasure. “Right… Like Bad Seed... ” She shook her head. “Ya know, language would be a lot easier if ponies stopped takin’ words and changing them to mean the opposite of what they do.”

“Hey! Speaking of the opposite of what we should do,” Scootaloo interrupted, “let’s stop loitering and get this revolt on the road!”

“Nice segue,” Sweetie Belle said as she raised a forehoof.

“Thanks!” Scootaloo replied as she bumped it.

Smiling wide, Button extended his mega glove. “So! What’a’ya say, girls?!”

Three forehooves where thrust on top of the glove.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—”

“—and Button Mash—”

REVOLUTIONAR—”

“Wait a tick, girls!” Apple Bloom said. “We already used this one!”

The three other foals frowned before taking on contemplative looks.

“So, Reformers?” Apple Bloom suggested.

Scootaloo shook her head. “Naw… Not extreme sounding enough…” Her lilac eyes lit up. “I got it! Regicide committers!”

Sweetie Belle cringed. “Dial it back, Scoots… Waaaay back…”

Button smiled. “Rebels!”

“Ohhhh, yes! Definitely!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“Hay, yeah!” Scootaloo cheered on.

Apple Bloom couldn’t help but grin. “I dunno why, but somehow that sounds better ‘ta me than revolutionaries!”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—”

“—and Button Mash—”

“REBELS, YAY!”

Chapter 3: Independence Day, Mother Buckers!

Fizzlepop Berrytwist shifted nervously in her armor, casting a weary pair of eyes on the large double doors of the conference room as if they might burst open at a moment’s notice and she’d be under attack. Of course, her anxiety was close enough to the truth as far as she was concerned.

Sensing her tension, Twilight allowed a tape measure to retract back into its holder with a ‘snap’ and looked up from the space between two name tags. She smiled up at the tall unicorn. “Don’t worry! It’ll be fine!” she soothed again, as if such assurances somehow alleviated the trepidation Fizzlepop felt.

Fizzlepop shook her head. “I still think it would be best for all parties involved if I was out of sight for today’s proceedings. I’m sure everyone is riled up enough that I’m going free. You having me parade around in front of them may not go over well.”

“Well, if I did that, they’d think Equestria is harboring you.”

“… Well… you are,” Fizzlepop replied brusquely.

Twilight frowned heavily. “Do you have to be so blunt about it?”

Fizzlepop gave Twilight a small smile. “Sorry. It’s just my nature.” Her smile fell from her face. “Still, even if your guests will be okay with my presence, and that’s a rather big ‘if’, I’m not too certain I’m ready…”

Twilight let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry! What I wanted to do was lead you through many more friendship exercises first, but with the damage dealt to these two countries, the other princesses and I agreed we should meet soon so we could start aiding the Hippogriffs and Abyssinians as soon as possible and establish a good relationship and perhaps a collation to help defend against other big threats like the Storm King, should they arise, and they all thought since I already had met Queen Novo and the newly appointed Abyssinian diplomat Capper that it would only make sense to have the meeting here.” Twilight punctuated this run-on sentence with a deep breath.

Fizzlepop raised an eyebrow. “Yes… You’ve explained this all to me already.”

“Sorry,” Twilight said, “I exposition when I get nervous.”

Fizzlepop gave Twilight the barest hints of a smile. “So, you’re nervous, too?”

“Well, it’s only just my first diplomatic proceedings at the same time that I’m leading and one of your first major friendship lessons!” Twilight let out a nervous giggle as she put on a matching smile. “It’s not like botching this would be an unmitigated disaster for the future of Equestria and your path towards integrating back into pony society.”

Fizzlepop looked at Twilight in surprise for a moment then smiled once more. “I see somepony is just a bit more nervous than me.”

“I did want to ease you into friendship lessons, Fizzlepop,” Twilight assured. “I mean… If we had more time I’d track down your old friends, you know, the ones you had when you got attacked by the Ursa Minor and have you reconcile.”

“That sounds incredibly awkward, Twilight. No offense. I’d almost rather reconcile with the Ursa Minor.”

“Uh… You would?” Twilight said, her uncomfortable smile looking like it was going to get comfortable on her face at this rate.

Fizzlepop nodded and swatted out a forehoof matter of factually. “What good would it be to visit ponies who had a hoof in making me turn my back on pony society?”

Twilight began to breathe in and out in a somewhat rapid fashion. “Friendship? Closure?!” she tossed out.

Fizzlepop shrugged. “Maybe you’re right about the closure part, but probably the only thing we have in common is that we were fillies together and liked to play the same silly children’s games? Unless any of them just so happened to try and take over Equestria when they got out of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, it’s not like we’ll have much, if anything, to talk about.”

Twilight took large gasps of air as if there simply enough oxygen around her to take care of her needs.

Fizzlepop tilted her head and gave Twilight a concerned look. “Are you hyperventilating?”

Still breathing heavily, Twilight replied with, “It’s fine! Everything is fine! Just…” Twilight began using one of her wings to fan herself. “Is it too hot in here?! Maybe I should ask Starlight to do a temperature control spell…”

“The temperature is fine, Twilight,” Fizzlepop insisted. “Look, I’m clearly making things worse. I should just make myself scarce for a while and you can tell the representatives I’m off doing community service as punishment for my crimes…” She shook her head. “Just don’t say the princesses all agreed to have me publicly locked up in the stockades.”

Twilight cringed. “What?! Of course, we wouldn’t do something so cruel and embarrassing!”

“Oh, I just meant because it would be too easy to verify…” Fizzlepop tilted her head. “Unless you want to lock me up.”

Twilight chuckled, if slightly nervously, “Well, I could always lock you up in the dungeon if it’ll make you feel better.”

“If you think it would help today’s proceedings, Princess,” Fizzlepop said flatly.

Twilight’s smile did a flying leap off her face. “I was joking.”

“I wasn’t,” Fizzlepop said, her smile returning.

“Hey, let me know if you need any help with that!” Starlight called out from the door, earning a glare from Spike and a giggle from Trixie who were both standing next to her.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Fizzlepop said as she tossed a glare at Starlight.

“That wasn’t funny, Starlight!” Twilight chastised.

“I disagree!” Trixie piped up.

Twilight shifted her unamused glance towards Trixie. “Don’t you have a show and fireworks display to prepare?”

Trixie made an exaggerated motion towards herself. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie is already quite prepared, thank you very much!”

Fizzlepop’s brow furrowed. “She was politely asking you to leave, you grating and pompous trickster!”

Starlight dropped her eyelids slightly as Trixie let outan indignant shriek and glared at Fizzlepop. “Hey, I don’t have to take that from a pony that’s half a uni—”

“WHOA! HEY!” Spike interrupted, placing a claw on Trixie’s shoulders as Fizzlepop shot Trixie a death glare and errant sparks fired out of her horn. “How about you and I run through Twilight’s checklist of your show and fireworks display one more time?”

Trixie let out a squeal of disapproval as she allowed Spike to escort her out of the room. “But that checklist is so boring! Trixie does this professionally! I know what I’m doing!”

“I know, I know,” Spike said as the doors closed behind the dragon and unicorn, muffling their voices slightly. “But you know how Twilight loves her lists.”

“Ugh, I do now!” Trixie groaned. “I’ve never known a pony so obsessed with her own point of view on things! How self-centered can you get?!”

Spike’s responding laughter rang down the hallway as Starlight glanced at Twilight and Fizzlepop. She pursed her lips and frowned slightly, opting to just stand awkwardly by herself.

“Fizzlepop?” Twilight chirped.

Fizzlepop let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry. Guess that wasn’t very ‘friendship forward thinking’ of me to yell back at Trixie like that. Like I said… I’m pretty blunt.”

Twilight took a step forward, lowering her voice a bit. “Actually, I was just going to say how impressed I was with your insult.”

Fizzlepop’s cheeks turned an ever so slightly brighter shade of red. “I may have prepared that one…” she admitted.

Twilight giggled to herself. “Well, it was good all the same.”

Fizzlepop glanced up at the door at which Trixie had left. “Why do you need her help anyway? I thought Pinkie Pie usually helped you with these sorts of things.”

“Well, Pinkie had a prior party planner obligation.”

Fizzlepop couldn’t help but give Twilight a bemused smile. “You’re telling me some foal’s birthday party is more important than a day that might go down in world history?”

Twilight chuckled slightly. “I guess we’re all a little jaded when it comes to days that’ll go down in history. I mean… we already have a few stained-glass windows in Canterlot Castle we’re on. Also, it’s an adult in this case. One of Pinkie’s employers and landlords,” Twilight frowned heavily as her eyes focused off somewhere in the distance. “When Pinkie realized there was a scheduling conflict she started lamenting there was no way to be in two places at once. Then she did one of her big gasps that means she just had an idea… I stopped her before she could get it out…” Twilight cringed. “We’ve had some history when it comes to more than one Pinkie.”

“Okay, that explains Pinkie, but what of your other friends? They did help take down the Storm King’s army.”

Twilight chuckled. “Rarity is off at one of her other boutiques, Rainbow Dash has a Wonderbolts engagement, Applejack’s visiting family outside of town, and Fluttershy…” Twilight trailed off and glanced at Starlight who was still sort of awkwardly milling about by herself. Her lip twitched ever so slightly as she turned back towards Fizzlepop. “With the fireworks going on, it seemed it’d be just a little much for Fluttershy. Besides,” Twilight smiled, “I can’t grab my friends for everything.”

“You brought Starlight to help, and I’m not even sure why you need her for anything.”

“I heard that!” Starlight shot out.

Fizzlepop returned fire, “You were supposed to!”

Twilight placed a forehoof on Fizzlepop’s shoulder and regarded her with a smile. “Starlight is anexample of how even the most far-gone ponies can come around if they’re just shown a little friendship.”

“I see,” Fizzlepop said, “I suppose you’re rather hurt for options.”

“Heard that, too!” Starlight exclaimed.

“Again! That was intentional!” Fizzlepop shot back.

Twilight tapped Fizzlepop’s shoulder again, this time she wasn’t smiling but held a rather serious expression. “Everypony deserves a second chance if they’re willing to try, Fizzlepop. I guess you haven’t really been exposed to the best side of her, but Starlight’s come a long way.” Twilight glanced back and ruffled her wings slightly. “Just not a long, long way,” she said as she chuckled to herself.

Fizzlepop took a calming breath. “You certainly have set yourself up to be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned, and I am grateful.” She tossed another trepidatious look at the large doors to the conference room. “Still, this is a bit like being tossed into the deep end of the pool while wearing my armor…”

Twilight smirked. “I told you that you didn’t need to wear your armor.”

Fizzlepop mirrored the smirk in a somewhat annoyed fashion and rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine,” Twilight assured. She frowned. “It’s my performance I’m worried about.”

Fizzlepop couldn’t help but chuckle. “Twilight Sparkle, battle-hardened pony princess brought low by some boring diplomatic proceedings.”

Twilight smirked at Fizzlepop. “Hey! That same logic applies to you, you know?”

“That’s a fair point,” Fizzlepop glanced around a bit. “Truth be told, I’d feel better with a few more friendly faces running around, if only for security purposes. I’m surprised you somewhat forced Flash to take the day off.”

Twilight gave Fizzlepop a surprised look. “You consider Flash a ‘friendly face’.”

“Oh, not towards me, of course,” Fizzlepop said, “but your lover-boy certainly has no shortage of coy looks for you.”

Twilight chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her mane.

“Besides,” Fizzlepop continued. “I’d have to doubt his abilities as a guard if he didn’t give me all those looks like he’ll spear me if I so much as look like I’m going to hurt you.”

“That’s kinda why I thought it was best to send him away for the day,” Twilight admitted. “Considering I want to show to everyone coming that they have nothing to worry about from you, it looking like I had a guard specifically to keep an eye on you might send the wrong message.”

Fizzlepop gave Twilight a wry smile. “That’s a shame. I dolove attention from strong stallions.”

“Hehe… Yeah… Wait, what?!”

Still watching from the entrance, Starlight let out a heavy sigh and shook her head as Spike quickly threw open the doors from the outside and cleared his throat. “Presenting Queen Novo and her daughter Princess Skystar of the hippogriffs!” With that, Spike sidestepped back next to Fizzlepop and motioned dramatically towards the two arrivals, two quadrupeds with beaks on their short-hair coated faces, wings, talons at the end of their front legs, and hooves on their back legs.

The first new arrival had a pinkish-off-white coat, amethyst eyes that shined with focus, and a plume of three long azure feathers with four wider purple feathers that went down a neat row behind her head. Each step she took was with purpose as she carried herself forward with an air of dignity as much as her own talons and hooves.

The second and slightly smaller new arrival had a cream yellow coat and a plume of several long baby blue feathers that curved over her left ear and went down to her shoulder. Her sparkling aquamarine eyes darted about with excitement like she was trying to take in every single thing she saw. She couldn’t help but smile and wave at Spike briefly with a talon as both hippogriffs made their way over to Twilight and Fizzlepop.

Spike returned the wave then took a glance at Starlight. “Okay, what’s the problem now?” he asked the dejected-looking unicorn.

Starlight sighed. “I don’t know Spike… I guess I was really enjoying being Twilight’s only friendship student.”

Spike chuckled, “Well, I don’t think she’d make for much of a teacher if she only taught just one student.”

“Yeah, I know,” Starlight said. “But she seems to get along with Fizzlepop so well… And me…”

“You kinda chose Trixie as a best friend?”

“Er, yeah…” Starlight admitted. “It wasn’t anything personal to Twilight, but Trixie just gets me, you know? It’s really easy to be around her and we get along so well!”

Spike nodded. “You two do get on like an orphanage on fire where all the exits have already been burned up and the building is collapsing and it seems like everypony is going to die.”

Starlight pursed her lips slightly. “I don’t think that’s a saying.”

Spike shrugged, “It fits.”

Starlight sighed and shook her head. “Look, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it really does feel like Twilight’s replacing me.”

“Heh. I can relate.”

Starlight looked up in interest. “You can?!”

Spike nodded. “Yeah! When Twilight first got Owlowiscious, it really felt like the little guy was gunning for my job!” he said with a light-hearted chuckle that seemed to highlight the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Oh? So what did you do?” Starlight asked with growing interest.

“Well, first I tried to make it look like Owlowiscious was a troublemaker so Twilight would get rid of him.”

“… Go oooon~!” Starlight warbled as a small, devious smile appeared on her face.

Spike dropped his eyelids slightly. “And it backfired horribly so I ended up running away from home.”

“Oh,” Starlight said. “Well, that’s no good. If I ran off I’d probably eventually come back to seek revenge… and that likely wouldn’t work out.”

Spike couldn’t help but roll his eyes slightly. “So, then Owlowiscious found me and Twilight and I talked it over. I figured out I wasn’t being replaced and we worked out a relationship with Owlowiscious where he hoots at me when I’m doing something I’m not supposed to be doing, I mostly ignore him, and our lives are roughly the same as they were before we met each other.” Spike thought about this a moment. “Er… Well, mine is… I guess Owlowiscious ate a lot more mice and moved far less books before he decided to be Twilight’s pet.”

Starlight frowned slightly. “That sounds rather unsatisfying.”

“Uh? Sure? I mean… I don’t really eat mice, so…”

“No, I meant that you and Owlowiscious have just entered into some boring agreement together.”

Spike shrugged. “I’m not sure what to tell you, but I don’t think Fizzlepop is going away anytime soon.”

“But I don’t think she even likes it here!” Starlight wined.

“That’s possible,” Spike said, “likely, even. But she’s gotta have it figured out that sticking around is annoying the heck outta you. I mean… you of all ponies should be able to understand doing something out of spite.”

Starlight glared at Spike for a moment, closed her eyes, and sighed. “What are you suggesting?”

“Well, I eventually decided Owlowiscious being around was a good thing… Less ladders to climb, less me having to stay up late or get up early to help Twilight... You just need to find something about Fizzlepop that maybe you kind of like.” He shrugged. “You don’t need to become besties with her. Just, like… talk to Twilight about what you’re feeling and work it out with her.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Twilight would intervene if she saw a problem.”

“She would,” Spike stressed, “but she’s not, like, some perfect friendship problem homing beacon.”

Starlight frowned, “I know she’s not perfect, but she is the Princess of Friendship.”

Spike ran a claw over his head fin. “Okay, I know Celestia gave her that title and she’s come a long, long way and all that, but she’s still working out what her title means… I’m sure Celestia knew what she was doing, but she also became the ruler of Equestria with her sister when they were still kids, so maybe she’s okay with a few decades or centuries of on the job training?”

“… I had never, once, ever, thought of that Spike, and I’m a bit terrified to be honest.”

Spike chuckled. “Well, you can always try running away from home and hopefully you’ll find yourself in a dragon’s den and almost get eaten until Fizzlepop comes to save you.”

Starlight frowned heavily. “I think I’d rather just let the dragon eat me.”

“Right,” Spike said as his smile fell and he placed a claw on Starlight’s shoulder, “so… maybe try talking to Twilight.”

Meanwhile, or rather, a couple minutes ago across the room, Twilight had already begun talking to the two Hippogriffs. “Queen Novo! Princess Skystar!” Twilight bowed her head low. “It’s so good to see you two again.”

Both Novo and Skystar returned the bow. “Yes, Princess Twilight,” Queen Novo said. She offered Twilight a small, dignified smile. “It’s a pleasure to see you as well.

“Hi, Twilight!” Skystar greeted enthusiastically, bowing and raising to her full height before Twilight could return the greeting. “It’s great to hang out with you and with a lot less fighting, too!”

Twilight chuckled. “Guess we’re lucky and it’s a quiet day today in Ponyville.”

Novo couldn’t help but let out a guffaw. “Your little hamlet here must be a lot quieter than the bustling city of Canterlot.”

Twilight chuckled slightly nervously. “Oh, you might be surprised there,” she motioned to the unicorn suffering in nervous silence next to her. “You two remember the pony formally known as Tempest Shadow, now a friendship student under my direct tutelage, Fizzlepop Berrytwist.”

Skystar’s aquamarine eyes suddenly lit up. “That’s the best name ever.”

Fizzlepop couldn’t help but smile slightly as she offered a bow.

“Of course, we remember,” Queen Novo in a tone so icy the temperature practically dropped as she combined it with a frosty stare to match. “How could we possibly forget?”

Twilight’s body tensed however as she looked back and forth between the Queen and her new student.

Princess Skystar gave Fizzlepop a full beaked smile. “Hi! We’ve never been formally introduced!” she declared as she extended an open-wide talon.

Fizzlepop stared at the talon in confusion for a moment until Twilight lightly nudged her with a wing. Cautiously, Fizzlepop extended a forehoof and allowed Skystar to grasp and shake it. “Uh, yes…er…. Hello.”

“Skystar!” Queen Nova hissed.

Fizzlepop retracted here forehoof as Skystar let out a sigh. “Oh, mom! Chill out! This is way different than the last time we met!”

Twilight offered a slightly confused smile. “Oh? You’ve met Fizzlepop before?”

“Kind of!” Skystar replied cheerily. “I saw her destroy my home!”

Fizzlepop winced as Novo’s cold expression approached absolute zero.

Though initially surprised, Twilight quickly put back on a smile, if a nervous one. “Oh erm… Well… I’m sure she didn’t destroy your home, specifically…”

“Oh, the palace?” Skystar replied. “Gee, no! I watched her take down some of the major supporting walls myself right before the central hall collapsed!”

Twilight’s smile grew in both in size and nervousness. “Uh… Well, I’m sure Fizzlepop is very sorry.”

“I do regret everything I did while in the service of the Storm King,” Fizzlepop said earnestly.

Novo rotated her head a good 90 degrees. “If only regrets would help rebuild my kingdom.”

Fizzlepop grimaced, and turned away. Glowering into some far-off corner of the conference room as if she, too, was losing patience with this conversation.

Twilight’s smile disappeared and she glanced about those present nervously, her mind working overdrive behind her eyes as she considered how she might best diffuse the situation.

Skystar waved a talon in front of her dismissively. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Ha!” She swatted at the air. “The complete destruction of my home is in the past! Or water under the Empire! Like when we were forced from home and forced to live as sea ponies in the dark! Get it?!” Giant smile on her face, Skystar looked about the faces present to see if anyone got it.

“Uh… I got it…” Spike announced from the entrance of the room.

Skylar put most her weight on her back legs long enough to flash Spike double ‘talon-guns’.

“Uh…” With great effort like a pony princess dragging a unicorn with a checkered past to a social gathering attended by those wronged personally by said unicorn, Twilight forced a smile back on her face. Luckily for Twilight, she had plenty of experience in this department. “Maybe we should discuss official busi—”

“But, anyway!” Skystar continued with a flick of her long baby blue hair. “Yeah! No. It was Tempest, all right! She laughed and laughed the entire time she did it too! Ha! Ha! HA!” Her smile grew to an almost supernaturally large size as her eyes went wide as if they were being filled with the unpleasant memories of her home being destroyed. “Why, even though Mom was trying to usher me on before I died an electrifying death, I had time to look back just as Tempest destroyed my room and all my personal possessions!” Skystar’s head suddenly tilted well past 90 degrees as both her smiling beak and eye twitched.

“I-had-a-stuffed-ursa-minor-that-I-watched-Tempest-put-it-in-her-mouth-and-CHOMP-on-she-was-so-dedicated-to-the-destruction-of-my-stuff!” she rattled off an a off-kilter, and bizarrely chipper tone.

Fizzlepop frowned heavily at Skystar, wondering what, if anything, could improve the current situation.

Novo ushered her daughter move forward into the room and towards a row of seats. “Perhaps it’s best if we skip small talk, hmmmm, Princess Twilight?”

“Uh, of course, Queen Novo.” Twilight motioned to a couple of seats that bared the Queen and Princess’ name. “Just… make yourself comfortable. We should be getting started shortly.”

With a somewhat solemn expression on her face, Queen Nova nodded and she and Princess Skystar made their way to their designated seats, Skystar made a point to wave and exclaimed, “It was great meeting you while you weren’t destroying all my stuff!”

Twilight once again forced a smile on her face that was clearly being held against its will. Fizzlepop simply looked on in mortification. She sighed and shook her head. “Twilight, I think I should return to my quarters for now. My presence is only complicating matters.”

Twilight put on a contemplative look. “Never mind that, right now. Just... Are you okay?”

Fizzlepop took a deep breath and looked down at Twilight. “Well, since you asked, Princess. No, Twilight! I’m not okay! I’m not o-buckin’-kay! I just had to stand in front of two creatures who I wronged very personally!” She shook her head. “It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I once wandered a desert alone for the better part of a week!”

Twilight gave Fizzlepop a soothing smile. “But you stayed here and apologized! You even managed to keep your composure as Skystar when over in great detail the horrible, horrible things that you did!”

Fizzlepop took a deep breath and let it out. “So, you’re saying this is part of me making up for my past?”

Twilight shrugged slightly. “Sort of! The important thing is that we’re both showing Equestria is a place of rebuilding places and ponies. If we can get the Queen to understand that, I’m sure she’ll understand the importance of you becoming my student instead of rotting in some dungeon somewhere.”

Fizzlepop gave Twilight a blank look with just a dash of disbelief added to it. “I still can’t believe you’d risk so much just to show I’m a pony worth redeeming…”

Twilight chuckled. “Hey! You risked your life to save me!”

“Right… after I practically tried to kill you and successfully captured you!”

Twilight shrugged. “Oh, I’m used to that.”

Fizzlepop couldn’t help but let out a short, good-natured laugh. “Keep it up and I might even start to believe it.”

“That’s the plan~!” Twilight warbled out.

Still witnessing the scene from the room's entrance, Starlight let out an increasingly irritated growl.

Spike took notice and elbowed her in the shoulder. “Come on, Starlight! Getting jealous isn’t going to help anything!”

Starlight let out another heavy sigh. “I know, but… Do you think Twilight is doing this as another friendship lesson for me?”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “No, but I highly recommend you don’t suggest she is.”

Starlight frowned. “Do you think she’d get mad?”

Spike shook his head. “I think she’d happily make it a lesson.”

“Hey, Spike!” a deep masculine voice greeted. “What’s a guy gotta do to get announced ‘round here?”

Both Spike and Starlight gave a startled jump as they looked over the trio of new arrivals. An orange-brown bipedal feline that stood about as tall as two ponies stacked on top of each other with coiffed dark purple hair in between his two triangular ears that ended in slightly darker brown points wearing a patched red coat with golden buttons that nearly went down to the ground. He regarded Spike and his surroundings with a smile and relaxed piercing emerald eyes with slit irises as if he was visiting an old friend’s house of which he already had an understanding to ‘make himself at home’ on any occasion he should be there.

Standing behind him were two more bipedal felines, shorter, with pitch black fur and yellow eyes. The taller of the black felines wore a purple cape with red-and-gold pauldrons and similar bracers as well as a belt. The smaller of the felines with slightly more angular features wore a red dress with a purple skirt that left her thighs completely exposed. Both wore golden collar jewelry with red gems that held their clothes in place and crowns adorned with large red gems. Despite their smiles, they had vigilant looks about them as if danger could strike at a moment’s notice.

“Oh! My bad!” Spike said. He cleared his throat. “Presenting the King Smokey and Queen Ashes of Abyssinia and their diplomat Capper!”

“Hey!” Capper protested. “That’s diplomat and Dashing Hero of Equestria Capper!”

Spike put on his own wry smile and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah… welcome to the club!” Spike said. “Almost everyone in this room is a bonafide hero of Equestria.”

King Smokey and Queen Ashes both gave Spike a deep bow. “Thank you, Spike, the Brave and Glorious.”

“See!” Spike said to Capper. His smile dropped. “Wait, how’d you know my Crystal Empire title?”

The King frowned slightly, his fur noticeably raising slightly. “Is that not the proper way to address you?”

“Uh…”

Starlight suddenly took a step forward. “Oh, yes! Yes, it is!” she said with a big smile on her face.

Spike chuckled and motioned to Starlight. “And this is Starlight Glimmer, the Savior of the Changelings!”

Capper stifled a laugh as both Queen and King bowed to Starlight. “A pleasure!” the Queen assured.

“Hey, ya’ll,” Capper said in an oddly casual to the King and Queen. “I’mma gonna hang back with my buddy here a bit. Coo?”

The King and Queen nodded. “Yes. It seems Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle, Element Bearer of Magic, Redeemer of Nightmare Moon, Captor of the Lord Of Chaos Discord, Co-vanquisher of Sombra, Tirek’s Bane, Defender of Time is waiting for us with Tempest Shadow, Pony Who Throws Herself in Front of Dangerous Transmogrification Bombs!”

Starlight suddenly burst out laughing as Smokey and Ashes bowed once more and made their way over to Twilight, savoring the aftermath where Twilight out a slightly embarrassed chuckle and Fizzlepop let out a quick growl of disapproval.

Spike shook his head. “You certainly have some guts if you like to mess with your own King and Queen like that.”

“You kiddin’? Us musically-inclined felines are well known for our guts.”

“Dontcha mean, kittyin’?” Spike suggested and raised a claw that was clamped tightly in a fist.

Capper chuckled as he rolled his eyes as he clasped a paw into a fist then bumped it against Spike’s claw before the two slapped each other’s grasping appendage then pulled it back with a ‘snap’ followed by the pair making a finger gun each at the other.

Starlight couldn’t help but let out a mirth-filled giggle at the display.

Capper turned his attention towards Starlight, and kneeled in front of her. “And who’s this enchanting creature, besides the Savior of the Changelings, that is?” he asked.

“En-enchanting?!” Starlight replied as a pink hue come onto her cheeks. She swatted a forehoof at the air as she turned away. “Well, I do dabble in spells, but don’t know about enchanting.”

Capper gently grabbed the forehoof in a paw pulled it close to him he could give it a quick peck on the pastern. “I could tell there was something magical about you the moment I saw you.”

Starlight only replied with a nervous, quiet, squeal of girlish delight.

Still smiling, Spike rolled his eyes. “That’s Starlight Glimmer. Twilight’s first friendship student.”

Capper got back to his back paws. “Well, it’s a shame we didn’t meet up with the rest of Twilight’s friends when she was on the run from Tempest.”

Starlight sighed. “Trixie and I got separated from the rest of them during the attack and retreated back to the castle here to get help… That didn’t quite work out as expected.”

“Oh… Capper, Dashing Hero of Equestria!” Twilight called out in a clearly annoyed tone. “Can I have a word with you?”

Capper glanced at the other two felines then turned to smile at Starlight. “Sounds like quite the story, but I gotta boogie…” he said as he pointed behind him towards Twilight with both thumb claws. “Maybe you can tell me sometime, say over dinner and drinks?”

Starlight chuckled and waved. “Maybe I will.”

“Take it easy, Spike,” Capper said as he adjusted his red jacket slightly made his way to Twilight and Fizzlepop. He turned his head slightly. “Oh, and say ‘hi’ to Rarity for me next time ya see her, ya dig?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah. I dig.”

Starlight smiled. “Oh, I like him.”

Spike elbowed Starlight. “Go for it!”

Starlight let out a guffaw. “Spike, he and I aren’t even the same species.”

Spike shrugged. “Twilight knows a spell that can fix that.” He flashed Starlight a smirk. “Though, I’m not sure why that even matters.”

“Oh, oops… Sorry, Spike,” Starlight said. “Guess that was a tad insensitive.”

“You can make it up to me by asking Capper out on a date after this,” Spike with a big smile.

It was Starlight’s turn to smirk at Spike. “You’re being awfully insistent.” She gave Spike a knowing smile. “This wouldn’t happen to do with Capper mentioning Rarity now, would it?”

Spike winced slightly. “Okay, maybe… but Capper does seem to have a thing for cute unicorns.”

“… Hah!” Starlight exclaimed. “It seems us ‘cute unicorns’ have our pick of charmers after us.”

Spike frowned heavily. “Oh, yeah? Who else is trying to pick up you girls?”

Across the room, Fizzlepop gave Capper a scrutinizing look as he approached and the King and Queen found their seats. “Your group seemingly took your time to get here. We expected you right after the royal Hippogriff delegation. What took you?”

Capper gave Fizzlepop a slightly pensive smile. “Sorry, we would have been here sooner, but the charmingunicorn show mare downstairs insisted on showing a few of her tricks.”

“Oh, Fizzlepop, it’s no big deal,” Twilight said in a good-natured chastising tone as she swatted at the air. She turned towards Capper. “Sorry! She’s just cranky because of the ‘bomb’ quip.”

Capper shot Fizzlepop a mischievous smile. “Guess I’m just a tad sore about the whole ‘being held prisoner and constantly threatened to be thrown off the side of an airship’ thing.”

Without missing a beat, Fizzlepop shrugged. “I’m sure you’d have landed on your feet.”

Twilight let out a surprised and somewhat displeased yelp, but it was quickly cut off by Capper’s laughter. “Well, I don’t know if I’m that lucky,” Capper replied. Much to both pony’s surprise, Capper leaned down, gently grabbed one of Fizzlepop’s forehooves, and raised it up to give it a quick peck on the pastern. “But, I’m glad that’s behind us.” Still bent over, he glanced up at Fizzlepop. “The view is much nicer from this side.”

Fizzlepop merely replied with a series of confused sounds that slipped out of her slackjawed mouth.

“Alright, smooth talker,” Twilight said, “What’s this the King and Queen mentioned about a ‘finder’s fee’ for the treasure the Storm King stole from your kingdom?!”

Capper chuckled and shrugged. “I just figured you ponies would want to keep some of the spoils.” He shook his head and put on a faux-serious look. “The damage the Storm King inflicted on your capital was quite extensive!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “And it was completely repaired with magic!” She shook her head. “Really, I intended to return all of it as a sign of good faith. Equestria values a healthy relationship with the Abyssinians much more than treasure.”

Capper nodded. “I got it… You’re playin’ the long game. You give us back our treasure and Equestria is front of the line for all future trade agreements!”

“What?! That’s not—”

Capper leaned in close to the unicorns and used a paw to block his voice from any who might be listening in. “And if maybe some of that treasure doesn’t make it back to the royal Abyssinia treasury, who’s to say the Storm King’s goons didn’t help themselves to a few loose coins?”

Twilight gasped and pulled back slightly. “Capper!” she cried.

Still smiling, Capper held up his hands in front of him. “Just hair-balling here.”

Fizzlepop smirked at Capper. “You know, I’m actually really glad I didn’t fry you or toss you overboard.”

Capper grinned. “Well that makes two of us!” he said as he spun and walked away backward from the mares, adjusting his coat and pointing at them with both his paws before spinning again to face forward.

Twilight sighed and shook her head. “We can discuss the specifics of what the royal Abyssinians can expect,” she tilted her head slightly and looked at Capper knowingly. “And I do mean specifics, I made a very detailed list.”

Fizzlepop nodded. “She’s serious there. She meticulously counted every ounce of spoils herself correcting several inventory counts recovered from the Storm King's army.”

Capper just smiled and shook his head. “Suit yourself, Princess. Guess we’re about ready to get started. I’ll go find my seat now.”

Twilight let out a small, exasperated sigh as Capper made his to the other Abyssinians.

Fizzlepop couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh, I like him.”

“Well keep an eye on him,” Twilight said.

“I intend to,” Fizzlepop purred out.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Capper means well, I’m sure, but he’s certainly a scoundrel.” Twilight sighed. “I was prepared for pony-related drama… but maybe not Capper’s antics.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Oh, well… We should get started.” Twilight shot a quick glance towards Spike and Starlight and they along with Twilight and Fizzlepop took their spots at middle or ‘bottom of the ‘U’ section of the tables, Spike taking the seat to Twilight’s right and Fizzlepop taking the spot directly to Twilight’s left, much to Starlight’s clear annoyance as she took the spot next to Spike.

Smiling, Twilight looked towards her right where Queen Novo and Princess Skystar sat in front of a massive off-white banner bearing a insignia that looked like a Hippogriff. She then looked to her left where the royal Abyssinians and Capper sat under a purple banner with an insignia an insignia of a cat's face embossed on a shield. She took one last moment to look over her friends present where she received a confident ‘thumb-claw up’ from Spike. Smiling at him, she took a deep breath and began. “Esteemed members of Equestria’s nations and dear friends.”

The Abyssinians ears all twitched as they turned towards the door with quizzical looks on their faces. This look was soon shared by Fizzlepop as she picked out a faint hissing sound.

“It us my great honor to host you all as we embark on a journey of cooperation and usher in a new age of peace and prosperity between our natio—”

“GET DOWN, EVERYPONY!” Fizzlepop shouted as she shoved the table in front of her so hard, it fell to the ground that hit the ground with a heavy ‘THUD’, it’s top facing the door. Twilight merely had time to let out a startled “Gha!” as her head was at the receiving end of a most extreme hug from Fizzlepop as she dove on top of the mare.

Spike pulled back quickly and nearly fell right out of his chair, though he was quickly caught in an electric blue glow as Starlight leaped to the floor and gently lowered her friend. The Abyssinians instinctively jumped back from the sudden loud noise of the table crashing and found their raised backs pressed against the crystal wall under their banner. Queen Nova and Princess Skystar merely sat in confusion.

The massive green double doors suddenly flew open with a ‘BOOM!’ that cracked the green crystal of the doors. Colorful sparks of all colors rained into the room as the Abyssinians suddenly dove back to their table and hid under it. Novo and Skystar quickly got to the floor and placed their wings over their heads.

The sparks came to a sudden halt as silence descended upon the room, the only sound the ringing in everyone’s ears from the explosion.

“Prosperity for WHO exactly, Princess?” a raspy, if youthful, feminine voice called out.

“Stay down, Princess,” Fizzlepop instructed as she raised up slightly

Completely caught off guard with her body pressed against the floor, Twilight merely nodded.

“We’re both fine, thanks,” Starlight said snidely as Spike nearly stared wide-eyed towards Fizzlepop and Twilight.

Fizzlepop cautiously raised her head, her horn already beginning to spark with energy as her eyes crested the edge of the table where she was treated to the following display.

“Prosperity for ‘whom’, Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle emphasized. “Prosperity for ‘whom’!”

“Great! Moment’s ruined,” Scootaloo lamented.

Spike and Twilight immediately exchanged concerned wide-eyed glances at the mention of the name ‘Scootaloo’.

“It was a pretty solid, entrance though,” Apple Bloom insisted as the smoke began to clear.

“Yeah, and a great line,” Scootaloo said, “except Sweetie Belle just HAD to be play pomeranian and ruin it!”

“Grammarian.” Sweetie Belle said in an unamused tone. “Pomeranian is a breed of dog.”

“See, there she goes again!”

“It’s okay, girls!” Button said. “We still have the element of surprise!”

Twilight and Spike buried their faces in shame and embarrassment.

“Except you don’t,” Fizzlepop said forcefully. She bent her neck one way with a soft ‘crack’ of her cartilage and then the other way, causing the sound to repeat. “Now, then. Whose flank do I get to kick first? Or do you want to come at me all at once? It’s all the same to me.”

Starlight let out an unimpressed groan as the foals all let out collective gasps of awe they looked upon the Tempest Shadow.

“Tempest Shadow jus’ threatened us!” Apple Bloom said. “This is goin’ even better than planned!”

“Which is doubly-impressive because we basically didn’t do that at all!” Scootaloo quipped.

Sweetie Belle simply let out a squeal of girlish delight as Button Mash uttered a “So cool…”

Starlight let out an irritated groan as Fizzlepop’s battle-hardened look began to crack, her forehead wrinkling in confusion. Still ducked under their table, Abyssinian’s peered curiously through the clearing haze at the new arrivals. Queen Novo and Princess Skystar got back up to their hooves and talons where Novo immediately began to fuss over Skystar.

“Are you alright?! Did they hurt you?!” Novo asked as she began running her talons over Skystar’s hair and feathers.

“Mom, I’m fine!” She said as she swatted her mom’s talons away with her own. “It was just a little indoor firework explosion! Nothing compared to the explosions Tempest Shadow made personally when she almost killed us and drove us from our home!”

“HAH!” Starlight exclaimed as Fizzlepop’s right eye began to tick in irritation.

“Uh, Twilight?” Capper called out.

“You didn’t use her title!” King Smokey hissed out.

Capper sighed. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, maybe we—”

“No! Her full title!” Queen Ashes added.

Capper let out an annoyed grunt. “Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle, Element Bearer of Magic, Redeemer of Nightmare Moon, Captor of Lord of Chaos Discord, Co-Vanquisher of Sombra, Tirek’s Bane, Defender of Time, it seems you’re a tad busy so maybe we can reschedule the meeting and…”

From behind the table, panic gripped Twilight’s features. “No! It’s fine! This is just a simple misunderstanding, I’m sure!”

“Seems the ponies you keep company with have a lot of those,” Queen Nova uttered coldly. “Though, I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me given your own shown character…”

Twilight suddenly froze, her eyes darting to the left and then the right. Oddly enough, it was Novo’s comment that let Twilight know that she was still on the hook for attempting to steal the Hippogriff’s magical pearl that filled her with dread more than the four foals who had made such a ruckus.

Fizzlepop shot Queen Novo a look suggesting she very much didn’t approve of the quip while Starlight let out an annoyed, incredulous grunt. “Sure, Princess Twilight makes mistakes from time to time, but she means well! It’s the rest of us who don’t always act with the best intentions!”

For a moment, Twilight felt her heart skip a beat as she feared Starlight had made things worse, however, Fizzlepop, Spike, and even Capper all let out words of agreement.

“Come on, mom!” Skystar said. “Twilight lying to her closest and most trusted friends as a ruse so she could steal the pearl right from under our beaks-er- fish-pony noses is in the past! Us maybe being exploded with fireworks at a meeting Twilight specifically invited us to is what’s happening now!”

“Yeah,” Capper piped up, “what’s a little petty theft between friends?”

Both Twilight and Novo let out annoyed growls.

“Alright, fine,” Novo said, clearly still irritated but perhaps a tad more focused. “Princess Twilight,” Novo began in an even tone, “what the heck is going on here?!” She motioned with a talon to the four foals with a modest collection of modestly sized rocket-styles piled amongst them. Like Equestria’s most unstable tripod, Apple Bloom had one firework under her right foreleg while Scootaloo sat on her haunches, a firework under each arm. Button held up a single firework above his head in his Mega Glove. Only Sweetie Belle stood without any fireworks, however, her horn glowed a bright emerald as a several large, long matches and large matchbox floated about her similarly contained in her magical glow.

“It looks fun!” Skystar commented. “Can I join in?”

“You stay put, young lady!” Novo hissed at her daughter. She craned her head upwards in an effort to see Twilight. “Well, Princess?”

Twilight popped her head above the table. “I’m sorry everyone! These four are a bit rambunctious but harmless!”

“Stay down until the threat is cleared!” Fizzlepop exclaimed as she pressed Twilight’s head down behind the table much to Twilight’s annoyance.

“What?! We’re not harmless!” Apple Bloom insisted.

“I’m pretty harmless,” Button said.

“Right, well Button is,” Apple Bloom quipped. “But all four of us are throwing a rebellion!”

Sweetie Belle spoke up, “Plus, we get into magic we really shouldn’t have access to, like, all the time!”

“In fact,” Scootaloo said, “if you combine that with all the accidental cases of arson we’ve committed, we technically have a record of threatening Ponyville that’s about as big as Discord’s… maybe bigger even.”

“Really…” Novo said in an unamused tone. “You somehow all start fires and create magical mayhem accidentally?”

“Hey!” Spike protested. “Accidents happen! Those things can happen to anyone, really!” he insisted.

Twilight let out a groan. “Oh, this couldn’t possibly have turned out worse…”

Her attention still focused on the four foals with fireworks, Fizzlepop declared, “Well, your terror comes to a stop tod—!”

“THE GRRRRRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE DEMANDS AN EXPLANATION!”

Twilight frowned heavily. “Okay, I deserved that one.”

Wearing her hat and cape, Trixie stood just behind the four foals and stared at them irritably. “Trixie is the one who is supposed to be doing the firework show, and it’s not supposed to start for hours!” She attempted to crane her head around the foals in search of someone inside. “Or am I being snubbed once again by her royal friendliness!” she spat out.

“Trixie!” Twilight exclaimed. “We have a situation here in case you didn’t notice!”

“Well of course I noticed your pathetic attempts to replace me! First Starlight with Tempest Shadow and now me with these four rank armatures.”

“I’m not replacing anyone!” Twilight assured.

Spike spoke up. “You kinda replaced me with Starlight when you released the Friendship Journal,” Spike pointed out.

Starlight couldn’t help but grimace.

Twilight turned and glared at Spike. “How many times do I have to say ‘I’m sorry’ about that until I’m forgiven?”

“Well… you basically forgot about your oldest friend while publishing a book about friendship that I had written in personally… so never… I’m never going to forgive you and you’re going to have to live with that until you die!”

“Which might be soon, if we have our way!” Scootaloo said as Fizzlepop focused laser beam eyes of fury at her. “Boom! Back on top!”

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom chastised. “Dial it back, will ya!”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? If you four ‘dialed it back’ any further, you’d be running around with sparklers and snakes.”

“Uh, excuse us,” Sweetie Belle said, “but we’re kinda in the middle of something here!”

“You are most certainly not excused!” Trixie exclaimed.

“Uh… Miss Grrrrreat and Powerful Trixie, mam?” Button said.

“Oh, yes?” Trixie said, her face lighting up. “Would you like an autograph?”

Button smiled at Trixie. “Maybe later, but we’re throwing a rebellion right now!”

Trixie gave the four a smirk. “A rebellion you say… against Twilight Sparkle?”

“Trixie… I’m warning you…” Fizzlepop uttered in a threatening tone.

Twilight and Spike looked over at Fizzlepop in concern as Starlight tossed a fiery glare her way.

Trixie suddenly erupted in a short, derisive laugh. “With firecrackers like those…” she shook her head and began to wander away. “Good luck…”

Sweetie Belle put on a pout. “But they were the best Pinkie had.”

“What?!” Queen Novo exclaimed. “Pinkie?!”

“Hah, Pinkie!” Skystar exclaimed. “That makes sense! Now there’s a pony that knows how to throw a party!”

“And apparently sells fireworks to children!” Nova snapped.

“At a discount!” Button piped up.

“Okay, well that doesn’t matter!” Fizzlepop insisted. “Because this stops no—”

“Tempesth! Tempesth! A panicked voice called out as a stout bipedal creature with a gray coat of hair, piercing electric blue eyes, a large black nose, and large white quills that topped his head and ran down his back, ran into view. “I heard an explosion! Is everyone al…” The creature let out a gasp as he looked over the foals and their decent pile of modestly powerful explosives. “Is that a Mega Glove?!”

Button turned and grinned. “Yes, it is!”

“Oh, that’s tho cool!”

“Grubber! Focus!” Fizzlepop barked out.

“Right! Sorry, Commander!” Grubber greeted with a salute. “I got here as fast as I could!”

“Actually, that was pretty fast for a hedgehog!” Spike commented.

“Hey, was that Spike?!” Grubber called out in a good-natured vexed tone with a smile to match.

Spike waved a claw above the table much to Fizzlepop’s annoyance. “You know it!”

Grubber put his hands on his hips. “Yeah, I can really move!” He shook his head. “No need to get all fired up about it, dragon bro.”

“Hey!” Starlight called out as she gave Grubber a scrutinizing look. “How did you find your way so here so quickly from your floor?!” She shook her head. “There’s no way you’ve gotten the layout of the castle down already!”

Grubber gave Starlight a look filled with incredulity then turned towards Fizzlepop. “Is she joking?”

“I doubt that,” Fizzlepop answered with a head shake. “She’s rarely intentionally humorous. More like accidentally tragic.”

“Hey!” Starlight protested. "Twilight's castle is a a huge MESS of the same door over and over again, alright?!"

"What, seriously?!" Grubber motioned about him. “This place is just… Landmark after landmark all the way down the halls!”

Fizzlepop nodded. “It really is!”

Starlight looked back and forth between the two in disbelief. "How... how? Aside from the occasional 'larger than average green door with gold trim', there's no telling one hallway from the other?"

"See what I mean?" Tempest posed to Grubber.

"Wow! You weren't jokin'!"

Starlight let out a growl of disapproval.

Grubber continued, “It’s just tree-with three roots, left, four swirled cloud, up the stairs, four-pointed star, right, then another right at the hallway with two mountains!”

“Oh, good!” Queen Nova said in a sarcastic tone. “Another one of the Storm King’s goons. Is the Storm King himself going to make an appearance?”

Spike chuckled. “Maybe under a big sign that says, ‘some assembly required…’” he quipped.

“Spike!” Twilight chastised.

Novo continued, “And this one defiled the royal fountain whose waters had been pure for centuries!”

Grubber huffed out a sigh. “All the bathrooms were either crushed, on fire, or being filled with lightning at that very moment!” He shook his head and added, “When you gotta go, you gotta go fast!”

“Enough, Grubber!” Fizzlepop called out. “We really need to deal with the current situation.”

“Yes, finally!” Scootaloo huffed out. “I believe us four were about to have an epic showdown with the legendary Tempest Shadow!”

“Hey, you’re famousth!” Grubber quipped.

“Not now, Grubber!” Fizzlepop glowered at the foals present. “Stand down, and I might show leniency.”

“Ooooh… Ah jus’ got chills!” Apple Bloom said.

“I know, right!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“So coooool!” Button Mash and Grubber said simultaneously.

Twilight let out a sigh so heavy with exasperation, it was a wonder the floor didn’t give out from under her. “Alright, you four… I’m sure we can talk over whatever is troubling you later,” she emphasized.

“Oh, sure!” Scootaloo called out in a sarcastic tone. “We’ll just reschedule our rebellion for a time when it’s convenient for you!”

“Would you?” Twilight asked in a hopeful tone.

“No!” Scootaloo shot back.

Twilight’s lips mashed together in a frown. “It was worth a shot…”

Button stood as tall as he could and continued to hold his firework above his head. “Sorry, Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle, Element Bearer of Magic, Redeemer of Nightmare Moon, Captor of Discord, Lord of Chaos, Co-Vanquisher of Sombra, Tirek’s Bane, Defender of Time!”

Twilight felt her forehead tighten as she noted both Spike and Capper let out small snickers.

Button continued, “But justice is not bound by schedules, bed-times, or convenience! Justice strikes when the time is right! Sometimes hot! Sometimes cold! Maybe sometimes room temperature, but it comes when it is most needed! Right now, Equestria is desperate need of fresh off the stove justice to warm the icy chill that tyranny has brought to ponykind!”

All the eyes in the room suddenly fell onto Twilight… Okay, so technically she wasn’t in view of most everyone since Fizzlepop refused to poke her head up, but she could feel their eyes on her. “Well, maybe this is something we can figure out quickly now?!” Twilight suggested. “As you can see, we're kind of in the middle of something.”

“Technically, you justh started,” Grubber quipped. “I mean, I know schethules are important to you, so you probably at least got in your opening—”

“Grubber!” Fizzlepop barked out. “Not important right now!”

“Right, sorry!”

“What are you four rebelling against?” Starlight asked in a tone of genuine interest.

“Uh… Injustice!” Scootaloo claimed.

“Being picked on!” Apple Bloom called out.

“Unchecked Imperialism!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Bad stuff in general!” Button shouted.

“What are you doing?!” Twilight said in a harsh whisper up at Starlight.

“I’m trying to figure out what they’re upset about!” Starlight replied. “I mean… isn’t kind of important we at least hear them out?”

Fizzlepop narrowed her eyes. “What? While they’re engaged in acts of terrorism?!”

“Well, I just… you know… thought from personal experience that was the best time to talk to ponies!”

This time Twilight didn’t have to imagine all the eyes in the immediate vicinity on her as three pairs clearly homed in on her.

Fizzlepop pursed her lips slightly. “Okay, fair…”

Starlight turned back to the four foals. “Er… That’s it? I’m sorry, just… those reasons seem kind of vague and poorly thought out.”

Fizzlepop shot Starlight a quick scrutinizing look. “Like a tragic backstory based on one friend who moves away?”

“I… Hey, shut up!”

Twilight let out a groan. “I’m glad this is a priority for you two.”

Starlight continued, “It's just that any pony rebellion should have more an of a stable structure! That’s all.”

“Oh!” Sweetie Belle called out. She turned towards Button. “Give them your speech, Button.”

“Oh, okay!” Button said in a chipper tone. He frowned as he looked up. “Er… but I need to put down my rocket for that, and gotta help me with all the Mega Glove stuff, and—”

Spike let out a heavy sigh and stood up. “Okay, this is just ridiculous.”

“Finally!” Queen Novo exclaimed. “Someone said it!”

“Speak for yourselves!” Skystar called out. “I’m really enjoying the unfolding drama.”

Capper let out a chuckle. “You ponies do keep things interesting…”

Both King Smokey and Queen Ashes cleared their throats and shot Capper disapproving glances.

“Er, but I’d be remised if I didn’t mention that the floor is a bit cold,” Capper added. “Maybe we can have this talk without the fireworks?”

“Yeah, I second that,” Spike said as he pulled himself up over the table.

“Spike!” Fizzlepop called out. “Get back behind cover!”

Spike shook his head. “It’s fine, Fizzlepop!” He began walking towards the four fillies and held out a claw, clasping it towards himself. “Alright you girls and guy, hand ‘em over!”

“HE’S COMING RIGHT FOR US!” Scootaloo shouted. “Sweetie Belle! Light ‘em up!”

Sweetie Belle let out a startled squeak and suddenly a couple matches that lit up. She thrust them towards the back ends of Scootaloo’s fireworks and before anypony could react, Spike had two projectiles rushing towards him and whistling a destructive tune the entire way.

Reacting more on instinct than anything, Spike let out a wide spray of flames, and then the room exploded in light, noise, and fire.

Chapter 4: a Good Rule of Thumb When Making a Castle: At Least One Room Should Be a Dungeon

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 1: Four Funerals and a Bad Decision

With heavy saddlebags -and an even heavier heart, Button Mash took one last glimpse at his home. A home that had once been filled with joy and love, but now only contained memories that left a bitter aftertaste on his tongue. This was the home he had grown up in.

The home where his Mom and Dad raised him, and where he hung out with his older brother.

The home he had spent so many days and nights playing games with his friends…

The home where he had confessed his feelings to his marefriend…

…Sweetie Belle…

Button shut his eyes tightly as tears soaked his amber eyes. It was too late for Sweetie Belle, too late for his friends… It was even too late for him... The damage was done and there was no going back.

He turned now to face the purple door to his home, likely for the last time. Its high-set oval window allowed the shining light from outside into the house, light that illuminated the otherwise...

Button paused and looked around the house once more. Admittedly, the entryway was very well lit from the massive crisscross windows on either side of the house that flooded the area with daylight. Still, the light specifically from the doorway spoke to Button. It spoke of new beginnings and a hopefully a better tomorrow… and, you know… more days after that.

It didn’t speak literally, of course. Button wasn’t crazy. Not yet anyway. Sure, the events that had just transpired had broken his spirits a bit, but not his mind.

No.

Button Mash was decidedly NOT crazy. But he was going to wander into the Everfree Forest with nothing but the saddlebags on his back.

With a final sigh, Button turned towards the door for what was sure to be the last time and reached for the knob that would open the door to his brand-new life.

“Button, sweetie?” a feminine voice full of once happy memories and now lost maternal joy spoke out.

Button froze. He took a deep breath and let it out in a sorrowful sigh. He had tried to avoid this dramatic situation, but it seemed fate- wicked, cruel, and dare-he-think, the evil mistress that it was- had other ideas. His Mom wouldn’t understand. She’d try to stop him. But this had to be done! There was no turning back.

Button turned back.

…

Okay, so there was some possibility of turning back, but Button knew he would soon turn back to what was previously his front and what was now front would soon be back…

Forever.

…’Back’ in this sense meaning, ‘behind him’, not ‘back’ in the sense that meant ‘back in his life’ or anything.

“Button?” Button’s mother once again called out as she took a few steps forward. “Are you feeling okay? Are you sick? You’re just standing in front of the door and making faces.”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Button deadpanned. He wasn’t fine, of course. He was pretty bucking far from fine! His life had been completely, irreversibly changed. And now he had to put a mental bit in the mental swear jar on top of everything!

“Uh… Okay…” Love Tap said in an unsure tone. “If you say so…”

“I do say so!” Button fired back.

“Right, it’s just that… Well… You’ve been talking to me while avoiding eye contact, Sweetie. That almost always means you’re lying to me.”

With a look of determination, Button did his best to force his focus onto his mother.

“Okay, now you’re avoiding eye contact with me while looking like you need to go to the bathroom.” Love Tap sighed. “Button, what’s wrong?” She cast a curious glance at the practically overflowing saddlebags on Button’s back that her son was shouldering with surprising ease. “Are you going to see Sweetie Belle?”

“Sweetie’s gone, mom,” Button replied coldly. “And she’s not coming back.”

Love Tap thought for a moment. She had heard a rather heated argument between Button, Sweetie, and their two best friends earlier today from the game room, but the four getting into overblown squabbles over video games was so commonplace that Love Tap rarely inspected unless either it sounded like stuff was being thrown or broken, Button was REALLY screaming the house down, or Sweetie Belle lost her cool and annihilated a wall with emerald green rage magic. That last one was usually pretty adorable once Love Tap got over the fact that the house would need to be repaired again. However, the realization that things might have gotten so bad that Sweetie Belle stormed out after breaking off her relationship with Button hit Love Tap like a slap to the face. She let out a gasp so sharp and pained one could practically hear her heartbreak. “Button… Sweetie…” Water began to fill Love Tap’s steel blue eyes. “I’m, I’m so sorry! This can’t be easy for you!”

Button shook his head and turned to the door, this time for the last time for sure. “Well… There’s nothing I can do about it now,” he replied stoically as he reached for the knob again, also for the last time.

Tears began to flow out Love Tap’s eyes and down her cheeks. “Button, please! Let’s talk about this! You adored Sweetie Belle. You—” Love Tap’s words began to stick in her throat, threatening to choke the mare “—you loved her! And she l-loved you, too! This can’t be easy for you!”

“There’s nothing easy about this,” Button replied in near monotone.

“I know! Sweetie Belle meant the world to you… It must be horrible!” Love Tap glanced at the ceiling. “I mean… I can only imagine… ” She looked back down at her son, her lips puffed out and tears still flowing. “But… Do you need a hug? Because I sure do…”

Button shook his head. “Hugs won’t fix anything … Nothing will.”

“But… but… You can talk to Sweetie Belle! I’m sure it’s just a big misunderstanding! I’m sure you two had a big fight, but these things happen! Maybe you can talk to each other!” Love Tap forced a hopeful smile to her face. “Maybe you don’t have to break up.”

Button turned, this time looking his Mom dead in the eye; Love Tap silently wished her son would go back to avoiding eye contact with her. There was no happiness in those previously bright amber eyes. There was only the chill of regret. “Sweetie Belle and I didn’t break up, Mom. She’s gone.”

A thought occurred to Love Tap that the parsing of her son’s earlier assertion of what happened with Sweetie Belle might have been rather optimistic. All at once, Love Tap felt it, an emotional sucker punch so hard that it robbed the air from her lungs and threatened to send her reeling to the floor. “N-no…” she whispered.

Button nodded. “She’s gone. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo too…”

Something like a shriek tried to leave Love Tap’s mouth, but it tripped on a sob and only a quiet, high pitched wail came out in a short burst. It was all too much. How would her dear friend Rarity take it?! How would Apple Bloom’s sister, brother, and grandma? How would Scootaloo’s…

uh…

Parents…

Guardians…

How would Rainbow Dash take it?!

Before her emotions could wrestle her to the ground, she managed to choke out a single word. “H-how?!”

Button clenched his eyes shut. “Don’t force me to remember.”

“Damnit, Button!” Love Tap screamed. “You have to tell me how!”

“That’s one bit, Mom,” Button said.

“What?”

Buttoned sighed at her before he turned. Great! Guess he’d have to look at the door one more time… unless… “You said a bad word! So that’s a bit for the swear jar!”

“I DON’T BUCKING CARE ABOUT THE SWEAR JAR, BUTTON! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO SWEETIE BELLE AND YOUR FRIENDS!”

“… two…” Button closed his eyes and turned to the door, once more. However, he kept his eyes closed so that technically the last time he had looked at the door, was, in fact, the last time. “It was a mining accident…” Button informed. “You always know how Sweetie Belle liked diamonds…” Button looked up towards the ceiling and added a wistful, “She tried so hard to be like her big sister…” A tiny smile cracked Button’s otherwise stony expression. “But the prettiest gemstone in the world was nothing compared to the radiance of Sweetie Belle.”

Another sound exited Love Tap’s mouth. This time the shriek and the sob got a little further, and it was followed by more crying and maybe some wailing as she slumped to the ground, her body unable or unwilling to support the heavy weight of three - gone now, forever - fillies that pulled at her heart. She knew those three were always getting into dangerous things that no filly should attempt unsupervised. She knew, and she did nothing to stop it. Now her son was alone and she had no one to blame but herself…

…Herself, as well as all the filly’s guardians, friends, and pretty much the entire town.

“I have to go, Mom,” Button said as he lowered his head and… Damnit! He just looked at the door again and that was two mental bits for him!

Through the screams and wails, Love Tap choked out a quick. “No-o! Wa-Wait! B-Button! Le-Let’s t-t-t…” It was no use. Whatever supernatural strength Button had found in the loss of his best and closest friends was keeping him coherent enough to deal with the situation at hoof, but it did Love Tap no good.

The pain she felt inside was worse than anything she had ever felt.

That was saying something… Button’s brother Gibson had a huge head when he was a newborn.

Button put his forehoof on the doorknob and turned it. He spoke once more, but his voice had grown pained and distant. “There was just… so much lava.”

All of the overwhelming emotions Love Tap were feeling suddenly came to a screeching halt and she stared at her son in utter disbelief. “Lava?! Wait, are you talking about Mine—”

Button threw open the front door and trotted outside.

“Button, Sweetie! WAIT!” Love Tap called out. She broke into a gallop after her son. “Mommy needs to know—” Love Tap got as far as the top step to the house outside and froze, almost unable to believe her eyes.

“Hi, Sweetie Belle!” Button greeted cheerfully.

“Hi, Button!” Sweetie Belle greeted back as the pair wasted no time embracing one another, despite the cumbersome saddlebags on both their backs.

“Heya, Button!” Apple Bloom greeted, her back likewise loaded.

“Hi, Apple Bloom!” Button replied with a wave and a smile as he and Sweetie Belle broke their hug.

“Button, my man!” Scootaloo exclaimed, laden down with nearly overflowing saddlebags like the others. “What is up?” she asked extending a forehoof.

“Nothin’ but the sky and a napping pegasus, Scoots!” Button replied giving Scootaloo a sly smile as the two shared a hoof bump.

“Hah! Good one!” Scootaloo replied.

Sweetie Belle smiled at Button. “Well? Shall we get going.”

Button Mash nodded. “Yep! I’m all ready to go!”

Scootaloo smirked and extended a forehoof. “Well, then you better all bring it in!”

The other three foals extended their forehooves to join Scootaloo’s.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—”

“—and Button Mash—”

“—EXILES, YA—!”

“NOW WAIT JUST A BUCKIN’ MINUTE HERE!”

The girls and Button Mash gasped and turned to face Love Tap.

“Mom!” Button Mash exclaimed. “Now you need to put three real bits in the real swear jar!”

“I don’t give a buck about that!”

Apple Bloom put on a worried look and covered her ears.

“Four bits!”

Scootaloo raised a forehoof. “For the record, next time I get called out for cussing, I’m throwing you under the cart. Nothing personal.”

“Fine!” Love Tap growled out. “But what the hay—”

“Five bits!”

“—is the bucking—”

“Six bits!”

“Button!” Love Tap snapped. “Shut the buck up!”

“Sev-MMMPH!” Button quickly found himself cut off as Sweetie Belle dove toward him and covered his mouth. She gave Love Tap a nervous smile.

“Button told me you three were dead!”

The three fillies looked up at Love Tap nervously.

“Er… We kinda are…” Sweetie Belle admitted sheepishly.

Apple Bloom let out a tragic sigh. “Yeah… It happened so quickly there was nothin’ anypony could do!”

Scootaloo exhaled through her nose. “Just a terrible tragedy!”

“Uh-whawha! Uh-whawha!” Button said.

“… What was that, Button?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom said. “Ya gotta take your hoof off his mouth.”

“Oh, right....” Sweetie Belle complied.

“I said ‘the horror! The horror!” Button informed.

Sweetie Belle smiled and leaned in to give Button another hug. “It’s okay, Button… We’ll get through this… Together!”

“Get through what?!” Love tap exclaimed. “You three are clearly not dead!”

“Well, d’uh!” Scootaloo replied. “I mean, technically, Button’s dead too!”

“Mmm-hmmm!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom agreed, nodding their heads up and down.

Love Tap squinted hard at the four foals in front of her. They looked solid enough, and well… Since when did GHOSTS need to pack anything?! They had to be alive! But Button had looked her straight in the eyes when he said the girls were gone! And… and…

…Mining…

…Lava…

“Oh for Celestia’s buckin’ sake!”

“Eight!”

“Don’t tell me you four just died playing Minecraft!”

The four foals exchanged uncomfortable looks.

“Oh, my bucking sun and moon deities!”

“Nine!”

“You did!”

Sweetie Belle suddenly looked ashamed lowered her head and stared at the ground. “Sorry… I was mining for diamonds… I accidentally mined into a lava pool and…” Sweetie Belle’s eyelids wrinkled as her emerald eyes filled with tears. “It’s all my fault!”

“Aww…” Button Mash leaned in once more and embraced Sweetie Belle who wasted no time in crying into his shoulder.

“There, there, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom said. “It could’a been any of us!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “For the record, I completely blame Sweetie Belle.”

“Scootaloo!” Button and Apple Bloom snapped while Sweetie Belle’s crying grew louder.

“What?!” Scootaloo protested as she motioned towards Sweetie Belle. “It was her fault!”

Love Tap let out an annoyed sigh. Truthfully, she had never been more relieved in her entire life. Still, the way that Button had gone about this had taken years off her life. Not to mention he and the girls were simply being ridiculous! “Why didn’t you four just grab some more gear from your home and mine somewhere else?!”

“Because there was no home to go back to,” Button replied in the same cold tone he had used back in the house.

“Of course there was a home to go back to!” Insisted Love Tap. “You all would have respawned back there!”

“Right, sorry…” Button replied. “There was a home but it’s gone now!”

“Okay... Why?” Love Tap asked.

Sweetie Belle parted from her coltfriend as she, Button, and Apple Bloom all stared accusingly at Scootaloo.

“Okay, okay!” Scootaloo said as she glanced skywards and tossed up a forehoof. “So mistakes were made, tantrums were thrown, and dynamite was set off in mass quantities!” She looked back down at her friends. “The important thing is we try to look past this tragedy and move on…”

Love Tap let out a sigh, this time it finally brought with it the relief that had previously been embroiled with her other emotions. “I’m glad one of you is finally talking sense!”

Scootaloo continued, “... by leaving our families forever and going to live in the Everfree Forest.”

“Right!” The remainder of the foals chorused

“And, like that, it’s gone!” Love Tap uttered with an annoyed expression. With a sigh, the elder pony trotted up to the foals and began eyeing their saddle bags. “Listen, if you four need to cool off and do something else, I can understand… But don’t exile yourselves into the Everfree Forest!”

The three fillies all groaned.

“Button! You shouldn’t have told her!” Scootaloo griped.

“I didn’t!” Button insisted. “She caught up to me while I was leaving.”

“Look, just… Go camping somewhere safe!” Love Tap said. “Or…” She looked over the saddlebags again, her face falling deeper and deeper into an ocean of confusion as she spied tiny glittery bronze ponies, plushies, and the edges of controls, none of which would prove useful outside. “Just have a slumber party?” Love Tap said, asking as much as suggesting. “You can even have it here!” the matronly mare smiled. “I’ll make you all French toast! You four love French toast!”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Love Tap,” Apple Bloom said, “but we ain't just campin’ and we ain't having no slumber party neither!”

“But almost none of you are even prepared to sleep outside on a lawn, let alone the Everfree Forest!” Love Tap insisted. She shook her head. “Apple Bloom, It looks like you at least packed a bunch of apples and a bedroll as well as some other supplies.”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Be prepared!” she said with a smile. “That’s what Granny, Big Mac, and ma sister are always tellin’ me!”

Love Tap gave Apple Bloom a small smile and continued. “Sweetie Belle, your bags appear to be full of mostly just toys…”

“My song writing notepads are in there, too, you know!” Sweetie Belle protested. “Plus we’re going away, like, for forever! We’ll need something so we don’t get bored!”

“Well, not forever!” Scootaloo said.

“Right, jus’ till we grow up into mean adults and terrorize Equestria!” Apple Bloom said.

Love Tap’s expression seemed to grasp for the precious air of sense but simply started drowning in confusion. She decided to shelve what she had heard for the sake of her comprehension for the time being. She walked over to Scootaloo and gave the orange pegasus’s saddle bags a good once-over. “Scootaloo, it looks like you just packed your scooter and a bunch of trophies…” Love Tap leaned in close and ran her eyes over one of the engravings. “And they’re not even yours!”

“I wanted to be inspired, okay?!”

Love Tap sighed and walked over to her son. Rather than give a cursory inspection, she immediately opened the d-pad like clasp on his bag and began rifling through what he had packed. “Button, you’re only marginally better than Scootaloo. You packed a bag of nacho cheese flavored chips, one two-liter bottle of soda…. Button, this is not enough food sustain yourself for almost any period of time and this soda offers pretty much no nutritional value!” Sidestepping so she was in front of Button, she threw up a forehoof. “What are you going to if it gets cold?! What are you going to eat when you run out of chips?!”

Button gave Love Tap a blank expression. “I was going to punch trees for wood, build a house and farm for wheat… I mean, I figure I can ration the chips for a couple days, but I should have a good harvest by then!”

Love Tap’s steel blue eyes opened wide in shock as her mouth unhinged and she stared at her son in disbelief. She slowly turned to stare at Button’s friends.

Sweetie Belle was blushing so hard it seemed her entire face might turn red.

Apple Bloom likewise had a disbelieving look, but she’d also occasionally stare at Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. As if Button was simply the worst offender of the ‘does not understand sleeping outside as a basic concept’ club.

“Hey, don’t look at us!” Scootaloo shot out. “You’re the parent here.”

“Sorry,” Sweetie Belle offered meekly., “but Scootaloo is right. It really is your job to make sure Button is instilled with a healthy understanding of how reality works.”

Apple Bloom nodded her head in agreement.

Scootaloo continued. “Really, if anyone has the poor, unfortunate job of crushing Button’s youthful exuberance, it’s you!” she pointed at Love Tap.

All at once, Love Tap’s features tightened as she shot a disappointed look out at nothing. “You know what? This really is my bad.” She looked down at Button. “I should have instilled a better sense of how the world outside our house works into you.”

“… Do what now?” Button replied, his muzzle practically buried in his Joyboy as he tapped away at the buttons.

“Give me THAT!” Love Tap exclaimed as she snatched the device from her son.

“Moooommm…!” Button whined. “I was playing that!”

“I’m trying to make sure you and your friends don’t do something stupid that’ll get you all killed or scarred for life!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Better late than never, I suppose.”

Love Tap glowered wordlessly at Scootaloo.

Scootaloo sighed. “Sorry… Just… you know… Some adult intervention for some of our Cutie Mark acquiring ideas would have been nice… I’m not saying the adults of Ponyville are completely responsible for the horrific dreams that are so bad Princess Luna has scheduled bi-weekly visits with all of us. Just that they’re mostly responsible.”

Button turned and raised an eyebrow at Scootaloo. “You know you three, specifically, have probably permanently traumatized me, right? I mean… I get the shakes whenever I so much as glimpse at a parachute!” Button turned away from the group cast a thousand yard stare out across what was essentially Twilight’s courtyard. “You’d kinda think maybe you three would’ve learned after the first few super dangerous or scary things, but you sort of just got back up. Like when the school hamster gets back on his wheel and runs full speed even though he just got flung off. Just sayin’. ”

Sweetie Belle winced. “Sorry, Button…”

Apple Bloom frowned. “Yeah, that’s certainly our bad.”

“But it’s also your parents’ bad!” Scootaloo added as she tossed a glare in Love Tap’s direction.

Love Tap’s glare tightened. “Scootaloo, you know I love you all—“

“Me especially!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“Yes, Sweetie Belle especially. But as Button pointed out, you three are responsible for his most horrific nightmares; so, for your sake, take it down a notch.”

“Right, sorry,” Scootaloo said, “is it okay if I blame my problems on society in general?”

Love Tap nodded. “That’s acceptable.” She let out a sigh. “Okay… Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, I know for a fact that you two should know what to bring on a camping trip! Leaving aside the fact that ‘moving into the woods’ is just sheer insanity, why didn’t you two actually pack some essentials?!”

“D’uh,” Scootaloo replied, “we’re had to prioritize! I mean… we can never come back!”

Scootaloo and Button nodded their heads in agreement.

Love Tap rolled her eyes. “Alright, from now on if you four are going camping without consulting an adult first, which is not something you should ever do, I should add—”

Apple Bloom’s forehoof shot up. “Go camping, or not tell an adult?”

Love Tap sighed. “Not tell an adult, Apple Bloom!”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Gotcha…”

“—anyhow, if for whatever reason, you find yourselves in this situation, Apple Bloom is in charge of packing!”

Apple Bloom pumped a forehoof up and down as the other foals frowned. “Well, yeehaw!”

“…And nothing else!”

“Awww…” Apple Bloom uttered as the other three snickered.

“Sorry, Apple Bloom,” Love Tap said, “but you kinda lost your right to be considered ‘most responsible’ when I had to qualify my statement about talking to an adult.”

“No, that’s fair,” Apple Bloom replied. “Really that was my title to lose.”

Love Tap went back to rifling through her son’s bag. “Not that I should be surprised, but you also packed as many consoles and video games you could shove in your bags.” Love Tap couldn’t help but take a moment to raise a forehoof to her face and let out a sigh. “Button, why did you pack all these if you’re going to the Everfree Forest? Most these systems need to be plugged in, and the rest take batteries that are going to die on you within a few days at MOST!”

Button glanced at Sweetie Belle. “I thought Sweetie Belle could power them with her magic.”

“What?” Sweetie Belle squeaked out in surprise. “Why’d you think I could even do that?!”

Button shrugged. “I don’t know! You have magic and, uh… Maybe Twilight taught you a spell to create electricity?!”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Button! The only thing I know how to do is levitate stuff and fire giant green beams of pure destructive magical energy when I’m mad!” Sweetie Belle glanced away from Button for a moment as her cheeks blushed pink. “Like if somepony hurts you or makes fun of you…” she murmured.

“… Mom, I think I just hit puberty…”

“Oh, for the love and light of the sun! What even brought this on?!” Love Tap exclaimed. “I get you’re all upset, but exiling yourselves because of a video game snabu—”

“…ten?” Button said in an unsure tone.

Scootaloo thought for a moment. “I don’t think it counts if the swear is part of an acronym, Button.”

“… nine and a half?”

Sweetie Belle squinted. “Wait… ‘snabu’ stands for something?!”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom agreed, “Ah thought it was just a thing ponies say when stuff goes wrong.”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Well, yeah! Now they do, but it stands for: ‘situation normal: all bucked up!’”

“Now you need to put a bit in the swear jar, Scootaloo,” Button said.

“There’s not going to be any swear jars where we’re heading!” Scootaloo countered with a victorious grin.

“Oh, would you four just bucking listen to me?!” Love Tap exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

“Okay, well that was definitely ten…” Button said.

Love Tap rolled her eyes and continued. “Just tell me why you four are even humoring that this is something you have to do.”

“Shucks, Mrs. Love Tap,” Apple Bloom began, “well… we jus’ figured that when something really bad happens to a little foal, they don’t have a choice but to run away from home!”

“…WHAT IN THE BUCKING HAY KIND OF HORSE APPLE TALK IS THAT?!”

Sweetie Belle dove behind Button as the colt counted out “Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo chose to take a couple steps back.

“Look, none of us want to do this!” Apple Bloom insisted.

“I kinda do…” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom sighed. “Well, Scoots kinda does, but… We’ve been talking to Princess Twilight’s friends, and—”

“I… WHAT?!” Love Tap looked over the foals present. She immediately ruled out Applejack and Rarity as culprits. Rainbow Dash was a maybe, mostly only unlikely because Scootaloo wouldn’t have hesitated to mention her by name. Fluttershy was a possibility. The quiet mare did get along with animals, and maybe she vastly underestimated the threat the Everfree Forest represented for ponies that couldn’t talk to animals. Pinkie Pie might be crazy enough to suggest such a thing as well. Though, the pink mare had lots of experience with children. In fact, even the more likely candidates from the list seemed nearly impossible. “What friends of Twilight’s could you possibly be talking about?”

Scootaloo grinned. “You know. Er… The purple one? Uh… Glim-Glam, or something?”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Starlight Glimmer.”

“Right, her!” Scootaloo said.

“Ah…” Love Tap practically sighed out. Word had gotten out that the unicorn had once ruled a small village of her own via magic and maybe brainwashing. There were also rumors floating about that she’d caused some other disturbances amongst the town and Twilight’s friends, all magic related. Starlight seemed nice enough, but there was something eerie about how the unicorn acted in Love Tap’s eyes. It was almost as if she didn’t quite understand the concept of friendship… No… that wasn’t it… She had friends she seemed to care about. It was more like she couldn’t grasp the concept of morals and was perhaps faking that so she could coexist with the townspeople for the sake of fitting in. “Well… That explains some of it, I suppose…”

Scootaloo grinned. “Yeah! Turns out Starlight had this one friend that went away to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns when he got his cutie mark! See, she was left all alone and then snapped!”

“And then she declared war on cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle added.

“And that’s the rest...” Love Tap grumbled. “And there’s a rumor or two confirmed... “ Love Tap muttered under her breath.

Apple Bloom glanced skyward and tapped at her chin. “Y’all ever wonder what our lives would’a been like had we met Starlight Glimmer before we got our marks?”

“Wait!” Love Tap exclaimed, as much to get everypony’s attention as to derail Apple Bloom’s train of thought. “You said friends, plural…” Love Tap pursed her lips. “Is that Trixie mare hanging out at the castle again?”

Sweetie Belle giggled. “Yeah… I don’t think she has a tragic backstory, though…” she said, shaking her head. “I mean… aside the time she came to Ponyville and Snips and Snails attracted an Ursa Minor for her to fight.”

Button piped up. “And the time she took over the town!”

Love Tap glared out into space. “Nice to hear our neighbor is harboring terrorists under her roof.”

The foals present frowned up at Love Tap.

“Mom,” Button paused and looked up at Tap’s face pitifully, “That’s… kinda mean…”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agreed. “Also, harboring implies it’s against the law. They got, like… Twilight’s pardon, so it’s more like house arrest.”

Love Tap sighed and raised a forehoof to her forehead. “I know, Sweetie! It’s just that… Well, I’m afraid one or more of you will get hurt, and I know those two are trying their hardest to be good! Mommy shouldn’t judge.”

Scootaloo nodded. “Definitely! Though, it’s a little different from house arrest considering the part where they can leave whenever they want, go wherever they want, and pretty much do whatever they want!”

Apple Bloom tapped at her chin thoughtfully for a moment. “So really… It’s more like complete freedom.”

Love Tap let out yet another sigh. “Really trying my hardest to be open-minded here, everypony…”

Scootaloo chimed in once more, “ Also, I don’t think Trixie is trying… Like… at all…”

Love Tap turned and fired off an unamused expression down a pathway that ended at Twilight’s rather large doorstep.

“Still,” Scootaloo continued, “it’s not like either Starlight or Trixie has anything on Fizzlepop Berrytwist!”

The other foals nodded in agreement.

“She’s jus’ so cool looking!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, practically bursting with excitement.

“I really like her mane!” Sweetie Belle swooned.

Button Smiled. “She’s like the tougher, scarier, cooler version ofStarlight Glimmer!”

“What?” Love Tap replied. “Twilight found another one?”

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom said excitedly. “She’s super tough!”

“And she’s a unicorn!” Sweetie Belle added.

“With an awesome broken horn!” Button Mash piled on.

“And a wicked scar going down her eye!” Scootaloo concluded as the final cherry on top.

Love Tap pursed her lips slightly. “Right… So… What’s her story?”

Button smiled wide. “She got clawed in the face by an Ursa Minor!”

“And her magic went all lightning-y and stuff!” Sweetie Belle added.

“But her friends got scared of her after that!” Apple Bloom said.

“So she ran away from home!” Scootaloo concluded.

“Uh… huh?” Love Tap replied. “So she got into one little fight and her friend’s got scared…”

Scootaloo threw up her forelegs. “but it was with a huge bear that was made from freakin’ super-dense air!”

Button turned towards Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Does that count as a swear?”

“Eh.” Sweetie Belle replied as she held up her forehoof and waved it about in a wishy-washy, ‘so-so’ expression.

Love Tap dwelled on this for a moment. “Well, broken horn and injured face or not, somepony should have tried to help that poor filly…” her forehead tightened. “Starlight, too…” she added, her lips wrinkling to match her forehead. She shook her head. “Some days it feels like I’m the only adult looking out for foals in Equestria.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard there. You’ve still stopped almost none of the crazy reckless stuff the three and sometimes four of us would do!”

The other foals gasped.

Love Tap lowered her eyelids until her eyes were laser thin slits of blue metal rage that she directed at Scootaloo.

Scootaloo replied by mirroring Love Tap’s expression, except Scootaloo’s lilac eyes contained a pain and rage the elder mare found she could not quite wrap her head around. “Oh you’ve even helped us sometimes, and you know it.”

It suddenly went so quiet, one could hear a pin drop.

“Alright. Fair,” Love Tap conceded.

Button Mash, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle all let out breaths they hadn’t realized they were holding.

“But I’m not letting you four do this crazy reckless thing!” Love Tap proclaimed.

All four foals groaned.

“Why are you even doing this?!” Love Tap exclaimed. “No pony is forcing you!”

“We have to do this, Mom!” Button insisted.

“I literally just said that you don’t,” Love Tap countered, shooting a glare at her child. “So what’s going on?”

The four foals exchanged looks then turned back towards Love Tap.

Apple Bloom spoke first, “We want tragic backstories so we can grow up to be super-awesome!”

“… What?”

The other three foals nodded in agreement.

Sweetie Belle gave Love Tap a sad smile. “But to do that, we need to suffer a tragedy.”

“Like dying by drowning in lava!” Scootaloo interjected.

Sweetie Belle sneered at Scootaloo. “And becoming homeless!”

Button spoke up. “Then we need to come back to Equestria to seek revenge or take it over! You know… probably to be stopped by Twilight. Then we can hang out with her all the time!”

Love Tap nodded. “Ah, yes. I see! It makes total sense!”

“It does?!” The foals all asked in excited unison.

“NO! Because that all sounds bucking insane!”

All three fillies instinctively crowded around Button who simply raddled off “Fourteen.”

“Okay… Starlight, and Trixie to a lesser extent, I understand, but what did this supposedly cooler version of Starlight do?”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Well, she led an army that tossed us all into cages, ‘fer one!”

“Yeah, Mom… How could you forget?”

Love Tap looked off into the distance as her mind reeled from this new info. “Wait… broken horn… scar… TEMPEST BUCKIN’ SHADOW?! HAVE YOU ALL LOST YOUR TARTARUS-DAMNED MINDS?!”

The trio of fillies once again dove for the relative safety of being proximately close to Button Mash.

“Fifteen. Sixteen.”

Love Tap looked over the foals in shock as her pupils shrank down to pinpricks. “The-th-the Princess Petrifying Pony is now staying with Twilight?!”

“Yep!” Button added chipperly with a nod.

“Her hair’s back,” Apple Bloom said.

“Her collar’s up!” Sweetie Belle added.

“And jet black!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“She’s so cool!” Button squealed.

Love Tap’s face wrinkled as if she had just smashed it into a giant lemon and attempted to absorb its sour juices through her pores. “I have all the concern right now, children… Just… all of it.”

Sweetie Belle gave Love Tap an unsure expression. “And we all kinda want to grow up to be like her…”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Oh, yeah. Definitely.”

“I mean… who wouldn’t?” Scootaloo asked.

“Soo cool…” Button whispered.

Love Tap’s head began to quake as red veins spider-webbed across her eyes and her lips began to twitch uncontrollably. Suddenly, there was the soft sound of a ‘crack’ as everything came to a screeching halt. Mentally, the good ship ‘Rationality and Reason,’ smashed straight into the giant iceberg of ‘stress and anger,’ before sinking into the ocean of insanity that had been rapidly filled via a single conversation with her son and his friends. Slowly, a smile began to grow on Love Tap’s face. It was smaller at first, but grew and grew into untamed and sinister.

All the foals present took a few steps back.

“M-mom…?” Button asked in an unsure tone.

Sweetie Belle slowly scooched closer to Button until she was practically hugging his flank as she ducked her head down far enough just to keep an eye on Love Tap.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged frightened glances. “Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo began. “Is there room on Button’s flank for two more?”

“No!” Sweetie Belle said. “Get your own family member’s flank to hide behind!”

“Ya know…” Apple Bloom tapped her chin. “Sweetie Belle is practically family in this case…”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were suddenly on Sweetie Belle’s backside before one could say ‘Don’t hug my butt!’ which was rather convenient for the pair of them.

“Button, girls, it’s fine!” Love Tap said. “I’m not going to hurt you! I’m not even going to stop you!”

All four foals simultaneously murmured a surprised “You’re not?”

“No!” Love Tap exclaimed. “If this is some sort harrowing, life-defining event, why would I- an experienced and responsible adult, even attempt to help you through it?”

Slowly, forelegs detached themselves from other pony’s flanks as the four foals circles up and exchanged confused glances.

Scootaloo shrugged. “Well that would be par for the—”

“Scootaloo,” Love Tap growled out. “Don’t push it.”

“Right, quiet time…” Scootaloo meeped.

“So… That’s it?” Sweetie Belle asked, surprise clearly at the forefront of her tone. “You really think we should run away from Ponyville?”

Love Tap shrugged. “Well, that does seem to be the way to handle these things. But why not skip right to the end?!”

The four foals exchanged confused murmurs as they looked at each other.

Love Tap pointed a forehoof out into the distance at a particularly obvious Ponyville landmark. “Twilight’s castle is right there! Why not bypass all the drama and hardship of living by yourselves in the wilderness and just go straight to being villains! I mean… I’m sure after a heated overthrow, the Princess of Friendship will undoubtedly try to talk you out of evil and thus offer you a chance at redemption. You can get it done and all be back for a ‘totally redeemed’ dinner!”

The four foals once again looked at each other, tiny smiles appearing on their faces.

“Now just wait a cotton pickin’ minute here!” Apple Bloom interrupted. “A’int like… living away from Ponyville supposed ta like… harden us and harden our hearts so we can be better villains?”

Love Tap shrugged. “Maybe…” She pulled a disgusted face. “But the Everfree Forest is full of icky stuff and things that’ll eat your faces right off your skulls.”

Sweetie Belle shuddered. “But I need my face to sing!” she wailed.

“And to look pretty!” Button added.

“Awww…” Sweetie Belle swooned as she leaned her head against Button’s.

Love Tap continued, “Anyways, Twilight’s castle is full of electricity and probably awesome princess candy and cookies!”

Button threw a forehoof in the air. “Electricity!”

Sweetie Belle also tossed a forehoof into the air. “Princess candy!”

Apple Bloom joined in. “Cookies!”

Scootaloo tossed both forehooves into the air. “Anarchy!”

The other three ponies present all turned and stared at Scootaloo.

“What?” Scootaloo replied. “You three have the things you like and I have mine! What I like just happens to be a complete disestablishment of the existing government and accompanying régime!”

Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Well now I’m mostly surprised you got all those words into the sentence without verbally tripping over anything.”

Scootaloo smirked as she lowered herself back down to all four hooves. “Eh, Like I said… Everypony has their own interests and hobbies.” She extended one foreleg towards the group. “So… Assault on Twilight’s castle?”

Three small hooves joined Scootaloo’s. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—”

“—and Button Mash—”

“—REVOLUTIONIONARIES, YAY!”

With that, the four foals broke off into a gallop, heading directly for the castle.

“Remember that I’ll have dinner for all of you when you’re done with your coup!” Love Tap called out. “Have fun storming the castle!” A satisfied and oddly dark smile on her face, Love Tap turned and walked back into her home. Minutes later, the smile only grew as she heard the tell-tale sounds of fireworks exploding from inside the large crystalline structure.

As the rhythmic sound of a knife repeatedly coming into contact with a cutting board filled the kitchen, Love Tap looked down at the carrot she had already chopped, minced, and was now apparently turning into carrot paste, her steel blue eyes clearly focused elsewhere than the task at hoof.

Once again, she had undoubtedly let her anger get the better of her. Usually, this manifested into her giving whoever was responsible a piece of her mind and maybe once or twice participating in some antics that weren’t exactly on the safe or legal side. However, this time she had thought four little messengers would be better suited to air her grievances rather than for her to do it herself.

Love Tap looked outside. It was already getting dark… She had said the four should try to wrap it up ‘before dinner’ but, truthfully, she expected them back hours before now. Twilight usually encountered these sort of issues, defused them, then explained why those actions were wrong, yet explaining how she herself also learned a valuable lesson in roughly 22 minutes by Love Tap’s count! It shouldn’t take that long to wrap things up… the castle was full of powerful unicorns who could easily overcome a situation involving four misguided children and some fireworks.

A thought suddenly occurred to Love Tap. A thought that entered her brain then stole the breath from her lungs like a thief in the night. She had just pointed out to the children that Twilight surrounded herself with potentially dangerous unicorns, and instead of steering them away or talking to Twilight herself, she had essentially suggested the children go play in shark infested water, but only after the kids throw in a few buckets of chum to get the sharks super excited.

In fact, she’d might even have been better off letting them march into the Everfree Forest unsupervised...

Love Tap let go of her knife and wheeled around.

‘KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!’

Love Tap’s ears perked up from the sound of some pony either knocking or trying to beat down her front door. Love Tap gasped for air as she feared the worst, galloping out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Who would be at the door?! Had her son or her his friends been hurt?!

Did Love Tap herself play party to killing a foal?! She’d never forgive herself as it was at this point, but if there was actually blood on her hooves, she might never be able to look herself in the mirror again!

Love Tap threw open the door and tried to exclaim, ‘What happened! Where are the children!’ but got out something more like. “Whahappen!?Wherethechiden?!”

It was Twilight Sparkle’s scowling face is what greeted her, the mare’s mane and feathers clearly on the receiving end of some temperatures that were higher what many ponies would be considered safe. Oddly enough, this was something of a relief to Love Tap. Even if Twilight had reason to suspect that she was the reason the Princess got an unexpected visit with an explosive entrance, she was far from heartless and would likely be crushed if anything serious happened. “Hello, Love Tap,” Twilight greeted coldly. “Button and the CMC are…” Twilight let out a sigh. “Well, they’re physically fine.”

Somehow the qualifier brought Love Tap more concern than relief. “Physically?! Did… Did they get hit by some sort of horrible mind altering spell or something?!”

“What?! No why would…” Twilight trailed off and seemed to send a worried glance towards something behind her. “No! Their minds and bodies are intact…”

Love Tap frowned. “Are they in a dungeon of some sort?”

Twilight sighed. “I wish…”

From behind Twilight, a mare cleared her throat, causing the purple alicorn to freeze up like a foal with its hoof stuck in a cookie jar.

Twilight quickly collected herself. “May we come in?”

“Uh… Of course!” Love Tap said. Twilight walked in followed by a sight Love Tap almost could not believe. A long, white pointed horn suddenly entered Love Tap’s doorway, followed by a flowing mane of sparkling pastel colors like an aurora borealis made from hair, and a golden crown with a diamond-shaped amethyst set in the center. Of course, horn, hair, and head-accessory all belonged to Princess Celestia, who was now standing in Love Tap’s home and looking passively down at the light-tan mare.

Love Tap silently praised the fact that her ceilings were mostly tall enough to accommodate the county's tallest ruler as she attempted to work her mouth and lips to get out anything resembling basic speech.

With a face that would make an expert card player green with envy, the tall mare said, “Hello, my little pony. May we have a seat? It seems we three have much to discuss.”