Author's Note
Green=Spike's voice.
Black=Spike's voice over.
Don't forget to leave a comment and a thumb up! (or I kill my brother with a spoon!)
Feel free to critic me.
Cow-boy or fantasy.
Spike's armor but no sword 
xoxo Gossip girl.
1.The name's Spike.1
''Would it be for a specific reason?'' Close-ups of a man removing the cap of a bottle with his teeth.
''Would it be for nothing at all?'' The man took a sip of the bottle.
''Will I know it one day?'' The man gave the bottle to a woman lying on a bed.
''Still, when I was expelled from my mother's belly on the 13th day of the month of the evening star in the year 1100, on a day without a sky and without a story. Nothing could have made me think that my future life would be what it was.'' The man had his hands between the thighs of the woman who drank to fight the pain.
''No marvellous or premonitory sign in the sky, no inherited baggage particularly encouraging but on the contrary a notorious alcoholic liability for my mother and a paternal intervention which was limited to the hurried expulsion of a dubious seed in exchange of a handful of gold.''Close-up of a child crying in the arms of the man. As for the woman, she slept deeply and for a long time.
''I do not tell you that to make you cry, I am not to be pitied. It may have been an obligatory passage, a sort of rite of initiation into life. A little violent I grant you.'' The man gave the child to another woman.
''Besides, this introduction pissed me off!''
''I never smiled during my childhood, and I think my first words were:
''Fuck!''The little boy said while sitting on a wooden horse.
''Shit!''He said while looking at the cards of a mercenary who was playing with his friends.
''Whore!'' He said after opening the door of his room which was occupied by a customer.
''To say that the few people who took the time to take care of my case, it was most often to put the chains and expose myself in front of everyone.'' Close-up of Spike chained in front of the tavern.''You can imagine that it did not save my soul.''
''What they had not foreseen was the presence, in the skull of this socially deviant child, of a rather well-ordered brains.''
''But how do you know that?'' The prostitute asked the teenager.
''I think that's what annoyed them the most. I was always answering, and I especially wanted to shake up the established order.''
''Your goddess Faust is shit!'' The young man said in front of everyone in the holy church of the village.
''What could be more annoying than a kid, who, from the height of his fifties, plays the Kingpin with an insolent character and a language that would make the blackest knight turn pale.
''If you want to kill this bastard, you have to stop shitting in your pants!'' He said to a mercenary in leather armour who was facing the captain of the guard in his silver armour.
''That said, everything became less funny when I reached the age of 19''
Music and laughter were the masters in the village tavern. Every night she was filled with different people.Mages, soldiers, mercenaries and even legends. And that night, there was a legend in the tavern.
''Several orcs had encircled me, they were tall, fierce and powerful, just like me.'' The fat heroe told the peasants who surrounded him and listened to his story without taking a breath.
''what happened next?'' The peasant asked.
''One of the orcs threw himself at me with his axe, he was fast but, I was faster than him. I dodged his blow, and I took out my blade, and I beheaded them with a sharp blow,'' He took a long sip of beer while drawing his sword. ''The other orcs were all surprised by the death of their comrade. I took his axe and told them these words: I'm waiting for you! in the end, there was no head left on their shoulder HAHAHAHA!''
''You are a true knight, Robert!'' A peasant said.
''Save me from the orcs, My lord!'' A prostitute said while holding his arm.
''My ass!'' The bard stopped playing, and Robert looked at a bitter-looking young man wearing a leather jacket.
''Look at his belly! In my opinion, he has eaten the orcs.'' He said.
''Enough!'' the Innkeeper of the tavern took him by the collar of his jacket, under the laughter and applause of others, and threw him out of the city with a kick in the ass. The young man went away without saying a word.
''by the way, my name is Spike, it's not my real name. Besides, I never knew it because the others always called dragon skull! If I chose Spike, it's because of my hair that forms spike. It's stupid but, I like it.''
Later that night.
Spike was sitting in front of a fire with a half eater lizard for dinner. After this, he looked towards the village with an idea in mind. Spike came into the town while avoiding the light of the guards. He passed behind the tavern and finally arrived at the sawmill. He lit a match and threw it into a pile of wood.
''farewell, Lord Robert. We hope to see you soon.'' The Innkeeper said.
''I'll come back, and this time with the princess,'' Robert said.
''What is this hump on your horse, my lord?'' A peasant asked.
''Oh, this,'' Robert lifted a piece of leather that covered a crossbow, an axe and others stuff. ''It's just the things I carry to protect myself during my travels.''
''I always love the steel sword and.'' He was interrupted by a prostitute who screamed out loud.
''FIRE!" They all turned and saw the sawmill on fire.
''Quick, bring buckets of watAHHHH!'' Spike pushed Robert off his horse, and he galloped away.
''COME BACK HERE YOU BLOODY CUNT!'' Robert yelled.
The sun began to rise. Spike had been riding all night long. He decided to walk until the sun was high in the sky. Once the sun high enough. He got back on his horse and took his new crossbow to go hunting. He pursued a rabbit, but unfortunately, he missed it.
''Fuck!'' He said while burning a lizard. After that, he lay on the grass, but a butterfly was flying near his head. Unable to rest, he hit the road again.The night began to arrive with the rain.
''Shit.''Spike continued to ride in the rain until he reached a monastery.
''I'm coming,'' He looked through the Judah of the door only to see Spike's eyes. ''Yes?'' The monk asked, and a few seconds later. Spike was walking with the monk at his side.
''Welcome to the house of the divine ... Normally the weapons are not allowed in the enclosure of the monast...''
''Grumpf!'' Spike said.
''But come to the kitchen to warm up.'' The monk said.
''Here, I hope you like cabbage?'' After eating, the monk led Spike to his room.
''Here is your room, rest well.'' The monk said.
It was night, everybody was sleeping in the monastery, except Spike who was sitting on his bed.He left his room with his weapons on him. He went into the kitchen and took a ham and emptied a bottle of wine. He went out with his booty, and he went to the monk's room. He opened it, and he woke the monk by putting the tip of his axe on his throat.
''Stand up fat-ass!'' The monk obeyed and led Spike to his horse. Once his horse came out, Spike put the monk on his knees, and he climbed on him to get on his horse.
''May Faust forgive you!'' The monk said.
''Fuck Faust!'' Spike replied.
Spike galloped all night while eating his ham. Once finished, he passed in front of a beggar.
''I'm starving.'' The beggar said.
''Then die!'' Spike threw him the bone of the ham to silence him. After that, Spike went fishing to the river. He looked into Robert's bazaar and took three small bombs and a long pipe sculpted from the bone of an ancient dragon. He lit the pipe, and he put the wick of the bomb in the sheath of the pipe, and he threw the bomb in the water. The bomb went down to the fish and exploded some second after. The fish come out of the water because of the explosion. Spike took a fish, and he noticed that he missed half of the body. He threw it behind him except that he didn't notice the woman behind him, and she took the fish on her face. Making her laurel wreath to fall on the ground, she picked up her crown, and she put it back on her head.
''Go away!'' Spike said.
''You could have a little respect, Spike.'' The woman said.
''My ass, go away!'' Spike replied.
''Spike, I am Faust, the creator of all things here below. I think it deserves a bit of respect no?''
She said while spreading her arms to introduce one's self.
''If it makes you happy.'' Spike said while picking up two fish.
''why are not you happy, spike?'' Faust asked.
''You're not supposed to know everything?'' Spik replied.
''Normally yes, but you're a mystery to me. That's why I'm here. You must know that I do not do this every day!'' Faust explained to Spike who lit another bomb.
''Yeah, but you fucked me well on this one. Because first I did not call you and secondly as you see it, I'm busy.'' Spike said while throwing the bomb who explosed a few seconds later.
''Spike, why are you angry? I admit that the beginning was rough, but it happens to everyone. You had some good time afterwards.'' Spike took a fish by the tail, and he put it into a bag.
''My monk was good with you, the landscape is beautiful, the fishing is good, and you're in good shape so explain me!'' Faust asked.
''I see that you have time to lose so, I'm going to answer you simply that I'm angry because you let me have the freedom to be. I will add that you also allowed me the freedom to consider all your creation as a vast humbug that does not give me any form of pleasure. And finally, I will say that you gave me all the freedom not to believe in you and I could even kick you as I used to do with some of your disciples.'' Spike explained to Faust.
''So why you didn't try to end your life?'' Faust asked.
''Because I do not think it would bring me any satisfaction either. And if it is to find myself in your company for eternity, I prefer to live. Even, if you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my entire life.'' Spike says while tying his bag to his horse.
''I'm flattered, but you could find yourself in hell!'' Faust said.
''I'm nihilist, not masochism!'' He said.
''You're no stronger than the other Spikes. I will prove to you that we can find pleasure in this world.'' Faust said.
''It may take some time. I'll be dead before that happens!'' Spike said while tying his horse to a tree.
''And if I offer you immortality.'' Faust proposed.
''It would prove to me that you exist!'' Spike said while picking up wood for the fire.
''Very well, I have nothing to lose in this story and me, it makes me laugh.'' Faust said. Spike knelt to put the wood in place, and Faust waved her hands up to Spike.
''You are now immortal Spike. You'll see sooner or later that I'm right.'' Faust said while sitting on a stone.
''Since you seem to be in a period of generosity, you would not have 5000 bits to give me?'' Spike asked. Faust looked at him while raising an eyebrow and then walked over to him with a purse.
''Why do I feel like I'm doing something stupid?'' Faust asked to herself.
''Come on, Faust cannot doubt herself!'' Spike said while blowing on the fire.
''Do you allow me to share your meal?'' Faust asked.
''You paid for it!'' Spike said while counting the gold.
''You believe me when I say that I am Faust?'' Faust asked.
''I must believe all those who claim it?'' Spike asked.
''Maybe.'' Faust said.
Spike and Faust ate their fish without saying a word, and once finished. Faust spoke to Spike.
''And what are you going to do now?'' Faust asked.
''Spend your money.'' Spike says lying on the floor.
''Ah! and nothing else?'' Faust asked, surprised by his answer.
''Sleep a little,'' Spike said. Faust looked at Spike without saying anything, then Spike spoke to her ''Go to sleep!''
Spike and Faust arrived in a village teeming with life, and Spike looked at a tavern.
''that's what I need!'' They entered the tavern, and Spike took a beer mug.
''Are you sure that this is what you wish to do?'' Faust asked Spike who sat down at a table to play cards.
''You challenged me, and I decided to accept it. You should be happy. These people seem to find pleasure in what they do so I experiment. I must attack the base!'' Spike replied.
''I don't think you need me, I'll leave you alone.'' Faust said.
''Shit!'' Spike lost all his money at the games. Subsequently, he decided to spend some good time. He drank several mugs with mercenaries. He amused himself with a prostitute. At nightfall, he fired at a house with his crossbow, and he fought his owner. He lost the fight, and he spent the rest of the night drinking before throwing up on the floor.
The day has arrived, and Faust was sitting next to Spike.
''Why are you still here?'' Spike asked without moving his head.
''so, how are you today? did you have fun with the others?'' Faust asked while smiling with a smug smile.
''It was the best day of my life! but I think I'll move on.'' Spike said to Faust who looked at him slightly shocked.
''You have already chosen?'' Faust asked while bringing the horse.
''I'm out of bits, I will have to find a job unless if you give me more bits.'' Spike said.
''I'm good, not stupid!'' Faust said.
After a while, Spike galloped in the plain followed by Faust who ran beside him.
''You could have the politeness to propose me a place on your horse!'' Faust said.
''I remind you that you didn't have to come and then it's been a while since you run next to me, and you don't look so tired.'' Faust stopped running and looked at Spike disapprovingly.
''It's weird, you're not smiling anymore?'' He said while preparing a pipe. He continued galloping, and he stopped in front of trolley wheels traces.
''Bingo!'' Spike said.
It began to rain, Spike took his axe and started cutting trees. He put the trees on the wheel tracks, and he continued his work under Faust's eyes.
''You know that I'm here, right?'' Faust asked.
Once his work over, he sat on the tree trunk and waited with his weapons in his hand. He looked straight ahead, and he saw the horses in the distance. They were a dozen galloping at full speed with the weight of the carriage on their back. The coachman tried to stop the horses, but it was too late. The horses jumped over the trunks but, the carriages crashed into them. Spike opened the door of the carriage, and he threatened the passengers.
In the distance, Faust watched the scene, and a friend came to say hi.
''Hello!'' The friend said.
''Hello!'' Faust replied.
''Say, you'll excuse me for asking that, but can I know what you're doing?'' He asked while preparing a pipe.
''Yes, it's a kind of experience.'' Faust answered.
''Ah ... and you are sure to control the situation?'' He asked.
''I sometimes have some doubts.'' She said while looking at Spike who threatens someone with his crossbow.
''I'm not going to offer you my help, It would be worse with me!'' He said, laughing.
''Well, I'll leave you to your little games. Come one day at home that would be nice.'' He said while leaving.
''Before you leave, you would not have some bits to help me out, the other took everything I had.'' Faust asked.
''You worry me, You have to watch the other, my friend!'' The stranger said.
''Do not worry, you know that God's ways are impenetrable.'' Faust reassured.
''Easy!'' He said while giving bits to Faust.
''Who was that?'' Spike asked while looking at him.
''Do not worry, he's a good friend to whom I give work from time to time. He's a bit crazy, but he's a good guy,'' Faust answered. ''So, how's your new career path going?''
''it's rather effective!'' Spike said while climbing on his horse.
''Maybe, but the direction you have chosen does not please me!'' Faust declared.
''Don't care!'' Spike said.
''Do not you fear my wrath?'' Faust said while preparing a pipe.
''OOOOh forgive me, Lord, because I sinned!'' Spike begged.
''Easy.'' Faust said.
After that, Spike continued his wave of crime by attacking several defenceless villages. Always under the gaze of Faust who watches him in the distance. Later in the day, Spike attack another card, always accompanied by a Faust who watched him without doing anything. She waited, and a knight stood next to her.
''Do you know him?'' The knight asked.
''No.'' Faust replied.
The knight went to Spike and Faust watch the show without doing anything. A few seconds later, Spike was tied up on the Knight's horse, and Faust Looked elsewhere whistling.
''where are we going?'' Spike asked.
''We go to dragon's lair!'' The knight answered.
''Oh shit!'' Spike said.
''Why do you say that?'' The knight asked.
''It's my home village.'' Spike replied.
''Home sweet home hahahahhah!'' The knight laughed.
''Bastard!'' A peasant said.
''Thief!'' Another peasant said.
''You should have died with your whore mother!'' All these sweet words were meant for Spike, who was kindly tied up while being insulted by the whole village that was throwing fruits at him.
''How are you feeling?'' Faust asked.
''It's itchy under my nose, can you do something?'' Spike replied.
''Of course, this does not provoke you any remorse to pillage your fellow human beings without paying attention to the suffering that causes.'' Faust noted.
''Forcibly! You see my friend. I'm like a new Solaris in the middle of the paradise you created for me.'' Spike answered.
''I travel the fields and meadows in a carefree manner and when I see a ripe fruit. I pick it and eat it without worrying for a second whether it hurts or if it will miss the tree!'' He said stopping in front of a tree.
''Except that the tree in question looks decided to hang you on one of its branches!'' Faust said.
''That way we'll be able to check if you keep your word! I am supposed to be immortal no!'' Spike said.
''It may be a little painful, I must warn you!'' Faust warned.
''Do not worry, after what I've lived here, I'm indestructible!'' Spike say with the rope around his neck.
''Do you understand the anger of these people at least?'' Faust asked.
''Not really because I consider myself to be doing them a favour.'' Spike answered.
''Ah?'' Faust said.
''You see, they put on my backs all their problems, they charge me with all their misfortunes, they will hang me, throw me in a hole, and their sins will be clean.'' Spike said.
''This man is guilty of having hurt Lord Robert. He will die, and peace will return to the kingdom!'' The Knight said.
''Justice!''
''Die!''
''Hell is your real home!''
''Any last words!'' The knight said. Spike looked in front of him to see all the people who raised him and turned into what he is today.
''Keep me a mug of beer, I'll be back at midnight!'' Spike said.
''No, I don't think so!'' The Knight whipped the ass of the horse who went off at a gallop a second later.
Spike struggled to try to breathe. He moves his legs at full speed then, nothing. Spike was dead. The knight cut the rope, and the other villagers placed Spike's body in a coffin, and they buried him next to his mother's grave.
Night had fallen and under the moonlight. We could see Faust with a shovel in her hands. She dug Spike's grave, and when she reached the coffin, she opened it.
''Rise and shine!'' She said.
''Very funny!''Spike replied.
''So, what do you think of this experience? it's a new beginning for you?'' Faust asked.
''Indeed, I will have to be more careful in the future. I will not do that every day and ... What the?" Spike got up and went to a grave with a horned helmet on the cross.
''What's wrong, Spike?'' Faust asked.
''This helmet? It was Ser Barristan's helmet. Why is his helmet on this cross?" Spike asked.
''I'm sorry, Spike. Ser Barristan is now with me. Do you know him?'' Faust asked.
''Yes, he was always good with me. He taught me everything he knew about sword fighting. He was a good man.'' Spike knelt down and prayed for him.
''Spike, it's probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and ...What are you doing with the shovel?'' Spike was digging Ser Barristan's grave.
''What? Every time he came here, he was wearing a steel armor with a sword engraved with ancient symbols and a repeating crossbow. It would be criminal to let it rust underground!'' Spike said.
Spike desperate Faust. Once the armor "borrowed" Spike looked towards the village.
''I need a drink!'' He said.
''Let's toast to our good old Dragon Skull!'' The Innkeeper said.
''Cheers,'' Robert raised his mug in the air, and a second later, he took a cross on the skull. ''Who did that!'' He unsheathed his axe, and someone spoke.
''It's me!'' Robert turned to see the bastard, and his face broke down.
''Y-you!'' Spike went to the bar and took a beer mug. he raised it in the air and drank it while looking at the villagers who were more than terrified.
''Ah, refreshing!'' Spike threw the mug, and he left the bar. After that, Lord Robert fell to the ground.
Faust and Spike were walking towards a fisherman and his boats.
''So Spike, what's the rest of the program? You do not want to find a nice woman and establish yourself as a modest farmer in a small village in the area?'' Faust asked.
''I'm sure you'd be pissed off if I told you yes!'' Spike answered.
''Why do you say that?'' Faust said while looking at the fisherman.
''Because I think you expect something else from me!'' Spike replied.
''Maybe.'' Faust said while giving bits to the fisherman for his boat.
''Tell me what you want before I kill myself!'' Spike ordered.
''I propose to become a knight, Spike.'' Faust said
''I beg your pardon?'' Spike asked surprised.
''I want you to become the defender of the widow and the orphans. No one believes in anything today, and I want you to take these values back to your account. I ask you to become a hero, a model for future generations!'' Spike looked at her not amused at all.
''You have not abused mushrooms lately?'' Spike asked.
''Not even a pipe!'' Faust said.
''No, but you looked at me? I have the head of a bandit, and I have the body of an asparagus! Frankly, as gods, you're a champion!'' Spike declared.
''Do not worry. With my training, you will be unbeatable!'' Faust said.
''No thanks!'' Spike replied.
''You do not have a choice, Spike. You'll change whether you like it or not!'' Faust said slightly upset.
''My friend, I met a lot of fools in recent years and when I see you. I understand better when we say that you made the man in your image. I will accept your proposal, but it will be for personal reasons because it excites my curiosity, but I feel that it is still one of your plans!'' Spike accepted.
''You will not regret it.'' Faust said.
''I'm not sure, but there is one question I want to ask you.'' Spike said.
''Go ahead.'' Faust replied.
''Are you so bored in paradise that you have to come here to have fun? Because if you think to make me your new toy you are likely to have surprises!'' Spike said.
After their short boat trip, Faust trained Spike to become a hero. Her training consists of physical and mental exercises.
''Come on, just once!'' Spike has his feet in the water.
''No!" Faust said.
''Walk on the water, my ass!'' Spike said.
Faust was in front of several search notices, and she took one that was worth 300 bits.
''To finish your training, I propose you a small mission,'' Faust says to Spike who was preparing a pipe.''I think it will be enough to start.''
''That's your conception of the vigilante, a fucking bounty hunter?'' Spike asked.
''Stop complaining about everything, Spike!'' Spike threw the poster, and he took the one who worth 2000 bits.
''Are you sure?'' Faust asked.
''What can I risk getting killed?'' Spike left under Faust's gaze.
Spike went to three peasants and compared the poster with the middle one. He took it by the collar, and he tied him to a three, and he cut off his beard and hair like the guy in the poster. Once done, he brought him back to the guard who threw him in prison and Spike was paid.
''A haircut at 2000 bits! hats off!'' Faust said ironically.
''Frankly, between two farmers, do you make the difference?!'' Spike sat next to Faust.
''Yes, Spike. I can tell the difference between good and bad! But with you, it's different!'' Faust said
''I'm wrong, or you have a furious desire to give me a good moral lesson?'' Spike said.
''You had to expect it no?'' Faust replied.
''Obviously, but you have to be a bit indulgent too. The idea of having a conscience is very new to me. I'm not used to it.'' Spike explained.
" I can still forgive you on that one.'' Faust says to Spike who entered a tavern.
''Can you forgive me? It's nice of you, but it's going to become a bad habit!'' Faust looked at Spike not amused and then left.
Faust was sitting by the window. She was smoking peacefully when suddenly she heard a disturbing conversation.
''I do not think we have a choice! We will have to burn the building!'' A mysterious voice said.
''I remind you that there must be in the 200 000 bits in this chest!'' Faust looked out the window to see what was going on.
''I want to see this money on the floor of our hideout, not reduced to ashes in the air, you moron!'' It was the bandit that Spike had not managed to catch because of his laziness. There were a sorcerer and a paladin with him.
''Alright, you're the boss! So, what do we do?'' The sorcerer asked.
The group came out of the inn and headed to the bank, once inside. The sorcerer threw a fire-ball on the guards of the right, and the paladin crushed the guard on the left with his shield. He advanced towards the hostess and threatened her with his sword.
''Hello, I would like to make a transfer of 200 000 bits, and if it misses a single bit, I kill you!'' He says with a smile.
Faust ran to the tavern, she entered and saw Spike played domino with a zebra.
''I wanted to warn you that the bandit you were supposed to capture this morning is emptying the bank.'' Faust explained.
''Yeah, it's good, but you see my beer is still fresh and I'm pretty lucky since two rounds.'' Spike said.
''I would like to remind you also that it is in this bank that you have stored your money.'' Spike looked at Faust then he left the tavern.
''Nobody moves, or I kill everyone!'' There were several adventurers in front of the bank ready to attack, and Faust and Spike were among them.
''You have to wait for the right moment and ... Spike, where are you?'' Spike Spike jumped through the stained glass windows of the bank, surprising everyone. Once standing, he took his crossbow and shot on the paladin and the wizard. The wizard took several arrows in the body, and the paladin protects himself with his shield. Once the magazine was empty, the paladin unsheathed his sword and threw his shield at Spike. Spike was on the ground, and the Paladin hit him several times with his sword. Unable to take his sword, he decided to use the shield as mace. He deflected the paladin's blade and knocked him down. Once on the ground, Spike hit him several times with his it. Once the ground turned red, Spike went to the chest's room while reloading his crossbow. He entered the room, but a bomb was on the ground. She exploded, creating an exit for the bandit who fled with the loot. Spike shot him, but he missed him.
''Fuck!'' Spike came out the front door, and Faust handed him a horse.
''Give me my hor.'' Spike climbed on his horse and pursued the bandit until sunset. He arrived at a shallow ravine where the bandit settled. He descended the ravine calmly, but he slipped against the wall.
''SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!'' Spike fell into the bandit's fire, he looked in the air then he looked at Spike who put his crossbow under his nose.
''That my money!'' Spike said.
Spike came back in town with the bandit tied to his horse. The villagers greeted him as a hero, and they raised him in the air.
''It's you who heated them like that?'' Spike asked.
''Not at all!'' Faust replied.
''Get me out of this mess. '' Spike ordered.
'' DRINKS ON THE HOUSE!'' Faust yelled, and a second later, there was no one left.
''Well, I think we need to talk you, and me.'' He said.
Spike and Faust were now out of town, then Spike spoke to Faust.
''So, are you happy?'' Spike asked.
''I find it not bad for a start.'' Faust replied.
''You know, I'm not sure I love that!'' Spike said.
''What? Capturing bad guys?'' Faust asked.
''It's what happens after that annoys me.'' Spike explained.
''I suspected it.'' Faust said.
''If every time it happens like that, I will find myself captain of an army despite me or worse!'' Spike said.
''Ruler of the seven kingdoms'' Faust added.
''Maybe!'' Spike replied
They continued to walk when suddenly Spike shot on a bush, and an adventurer came out with his hands up.
''What are you doing here?'' Spike threatened the boy with his crossbow.
''I ... I followed you.'' The adventurer answered.
''Are you alone?'' Spike asked.
''Yes!'' Spike shot on another bush and two other adventurers came out their hands in the air.
''How many are you?'' Spike looked at the boys not amused at all.
''Three misters!'' The boy replied.
''And what are you doing Here?'' Spike asked while threatening them with his crossbow.
''Please, sir, take us in your band.'' The boy begged.
''We want to become heroes like you!'' The boy explained.
''we'll do your laundry.'' The boy proposed.
''That's also one of your plans? Disciples to help me restore order in your kingdom?'' Spike asked.
''Ah, but not at all, It's not me who sent them here!'' The three boys looked at Spike with a big smile, and then he spoke to them.
''Go away! You put back your diapers, and you go back to milk your cows, we don't do daycare here!'' Spike said.
''But sir!'' The boy begged.
''PSSSSHHHH!'' Spike waved his hand to make them leave.
''Why the world sees me as a hero?'' The boys looked at Spike shocked by his reaction.
''What is this story?'' Faust Faust tells the boys to come with her hand.
''It's going to stop or else!'' Spike said while be followed by Faust and her new friends.
Meanwhile, in heaven.
Ser Barristan and a mysterious woman watched Spike walking away with his friends.
''You must be proud of your son.'' Ser Barristan says with a smile.
''Yes,'' She knelt down to see her son more closely. ''Yes I am.''
Author's Note
Thanks, Skyrim!
2.Dryad tonic.2
In a forest, on horseback. Spike was pursuing a man on who had kidnapped a child hours ago. The bandit tried to escape, but Spike followed him like a dog following his master and not far from here. Faust was observing them on a tree branch.
''They arrive!'' Faust said to the three boys who were also on a tree branch.
''Get ready, Rumble! Catch the kid and run as fast as you can!'' Rumble was holding a rope.
''Hang on!'' the bandit approached our heroes at full speed, then Pip and Button pushed Rumble towards him.
''GO!''
''?!''The bandit, having not reacted in time, crashed against Rumble who tried to rescue the kid. They both fell to the ground, under Spike's usual gaze.
''DUMBASS!'' Spike dodged the two idiots and managed to reach the bandit's horse. He took the horse's strap and fell to the ground, using his body as an anchor to stop the horse. The horse finally stopped, and Spike spoke to the kid.
''Are you alright, kiddo?'' Spike asked.
''Y-yes mister!'' The kid replied.
''I see that I came across a beautiful bunch of morons!'' Spike angrily said to the boys.
''You are hard sir, we have saved the kid!'' Button added.
''I SAVED the kid! if I had to rely on you to help save the world, we would all be dead!'' The child ran to his mother who was accompanied by two imperial guards. The mother squeezed her son in her arms while weeping tears of joy, under the slightly saddened look of Spike, sadness that disappeared a second later after receiving gold from one of the guards. After that, they hit the road to a better destination.
''🎼I'm bored, I'm bored...🎼'' Spike was bored.
Opening
''What a pretty clearing!'' Spike said.
''You three, fire, now!'' Spike lay on the floor and used a tree trunk as a pillow.
''Stay here boys, I'll take care of it ...lazy knight!'' Faust said to Spike who answered by pulling his tongue at her.
''You three, since our beginnings are a little messy, we will try to find out what you are capable of, you know how to use a crossbow?'' Spike asked.
''We're peasant soooo,'' Pip replied.
''There's a beginning to everything!'' Spike took some pebbles and placed them on a rock to make targets.
''Here, go ahead...show us what you can do!'' Spike handed his crossbow to the boys, and it was rumble who tested it first. He aimed at a pebble and shot without looking at his target. The arrow ricocheted on a rock and passed over the pebbles to ricochet again on a rock before crashing into Spike's armour.
''Can you explain this shit to me? Are you fucking kidding me?'' Spike said to Rumble who was trembling like a leaf.
''I don't know, Spike! It was like magic!!'' Rumble replied.
''Pretty much my friend,'' Spike and rumble turn to see a man dressed as a jester with horns on his forehead.
''Good evening, I hope I do not bother you?'' He said.
''I know you... you are a friend of the redhead!'' Spike said.
''Yes, we can say that ... I did not scare you with my little magic trick?'' He asked.
''Is it you who does this with the arrow?'' Spike asked.
''It's awesome, right?'' He replied.
''And who exactly are you? Discord, the god of chaos?'' Spike asked while touching his left horns.
''Bingo, buddy!'' Spike looked at him then facepalm.
''What?'' Discord added.
''For fuck's sake, what the hell is wrong with you? First Faust, then you? Don't tell that the three assholes over there are Tirek, Sombra and Storm king?'' Spike said, pointing at them.
''Oh No, they're just assholes!'' Discord replied.
''Leave me alone! I did not ask anyone, so you're going to pack up your magic tricks and get the hell out of here!" Spike ordered.
''Usually, we say: Vade retro etc ...''Discord said while preparing a pipe.
Go ahead, make fun of me! Spike removed the arrow from his armour and threw it on the ground.
''You know, my little tricks might serve you one of these days. I would be very willing to help you!'' Discord said while lighting his pipe.
''Right, then after you will ask me to sign a contract and we all know the rest!'' Spike said.
''No, not at all! I ask nothing of you!'' Discord replied.
''What's going on? You want me to kill Faust?' Spike asked.
''No, It's just for fun!'' Discord laughed.
''It's very nice of you my friend! And how do I contact you? I'll send you a raven, or I'll kill a clown on a full moon!'' Spike asked.
''Don't worry my friend, when the opportunity arises, I would not be far!'' Discord turned into a fly, and Faust arrived some seconds later with branches in her hand.
''They are already sleeping?'' The boys were lying on the ground, but they were not asleep, they were stunned because of their encounter with Discord.
''What happened here? What did you do to them?'' Faust asked.
''Nothing, they are afraid of the dark!'' Spike replied with his eyes closed, and a few feet from their campfire, Discord observed them while smoking.
''Come on, everybody gets up!'' Faust Faust pushed Spike to wake him up.
''Hey! Ho! What's wrong!'' Spike asked with his eyes still close.
''We go to town!'' Faust replied.
''Really? Why?'' Spike asked.
''It will change us from meadows,'' Faust answered.
''Fuck it, I'm in!'' Spike said.
''Thanks myself!'' And a few minutes later, they were on the road.
''Why Spike never smiles?'' Pip asked Faust who was lying on her horse.
''Oh that, you'll have to get used to it quickly guys! But do not worry about it, he thinks he's tough, that all!'' Faust replied.
''I hear you!'' Spike said.
''I'm sorry Boss, but I think you should smile more!'' Pip added.
''You know how to think? It's a miracle!'' Spike says sarcastically.
They finally arrived in a small village consisting of some stone house, two large building and an inn. They entered the inn, and Faust spoke to the innkeeper. The innkeeper was a bold man with a large moustache and a face that said: do not piss me off me or you'll end up with an arrow in your throat.
''Hello my friend ... I need three rooms for tonight, one with three beds. I also want a bathtub per person and clean sheets ... thank you!'' Faust said.
''Indeed, it will change us!'' Spike declared.
''I have something to do, I let you relax a moment, we meet again later,'' Faust said to Spike who was looking at a woman.
''Take your time!'' Spike said while looking at the woman.
''Thank you, madam!'' Pip said to Faust while climbing the stairs.
''Helloooooo!'' Spike said to the woman who ignored him. Meanwhile, the boys were doing a pillow fight in their rooms. Later, Faust returned to the inn while driving a dwarven stagecoach which runs on coal.
''What the hell?'' Spike was surprised by Faust's new vehicle.
''Wouah! It's red!'' Rumble commented.
''With that my children, you will leave a mark in history!'' Faust took a took a scroll and unfolded it.
''Is it a catch scroll?'' Button asked.
''What is it?'' Rumble asked.
''It's a spell that captures a small part of you for the representation on the parchment, we owe this invention to the wizards of the crystal tower!'' Faust explained.
''Fucking wizards, I hate them! When it is to make you fall with their magic stick, everyone laughs! But when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, they are already dead!'' Spike said while looking at his fists.
"You have problems, but It does not matter because we will try right now. Come and put yourself in the middle of the street!'' Faust said.
''it will be without me! I have a girl waiting for me!'' Spike was about to leave, but Faust convinced him to stay.
''After the room I just paid you, you could make an effort! But if you prefer to sleep outside,'' Faust said with a smile on her face.
''Are you blackmailing me now?'' Spike asked.
''Sorry, that's all I have to say!'' Faust explained.
''Okay, do your fucking photo, but I warn you, don't break my balls every five minutes with this shit!'' Spike angrily said.
''Come on, nobody moves!'' She pointed the scroll in front of the boys and activated it with her magic.
''CLIC'' In addition to the image of the boys, there was a part of the building behind them that exploded.
''BOOM''
''Wow! I just invented the scoop!'' The left side of the building was on fire when suddenly a distinctive form could be perceived in this black smoke.
''Heh, look there!'' Pip pointed a female form in the smoke. The woman looked at them before running away.
''I saw her first!'' The boys started to chase her, but she opened a portal by throwing a crystal on the floor in the hope of escaping them, but the boys managed to catch her.
''Too late!'' Rumble said by throwing himself on her.
''Sorry madam, but firecrackers are dangerous for a woman like you!'' Button said while removing the bomb from her left hand.
''Guys, Why is she brown ... and made of wood?'' Pip asked.
''Stop, or I kill you without hesitation, you morons!'' Spike threatened.
''Don't move, bandit!'' Pip said while holding her arms.
''Shut up, peasant! She's a Dryad!'' Spike said.
''A what?'' Button asked.
''A Dryad is a spirit of nature, a kind of guardian who protects forests at the risk of their own life,'' Of all the races that populated the kingdom of Equestria, the Dryad or Spriggan are among the most beautiful but deadly of all creatures that haunt forests. Their body made of wood and magic could overflow a thousand tortures without even breaking. Nothing can kill them, except fire. They make one with nature, and they do not hesitate to kill anybody who comes to destroy their sanctuary with the help of the animals. Dryads are beautiful, but no one has ever survived their attack.
''And they hate humans!'' Spike added.
''Do not give me to the captain of the guard, he will kill me without asking any questions!'' The Dryad begged.
''Yeah and it will surely bring me some money!'' Spike hesitated to draw his sword and kill him, but a little voice in his head said no to him.
''Maybe, but I'm better alive than dead! Please, let me explain!'' Spike looked behind him and saw peasants trying to extinguish the fire. He grabbed the Dryad by the forearm and took her away.
''What are you doing, boss?'' Rumble was surprised by his reaction.
''You heard the piece of wood, she wants to explain the situation!" Spike put her back on the wall and drew his sword.
''Go ahead, speak!'' Spike said with his sword under her neck.
''Hm, OKay but it may be a bit long, if you want, I invite you to our sanctuary, and I tell you my story!'' The Dryad proposed.
''Are you trying to win some time?'' Spike noted.
''Do you think that, human?'' Spike looked deep into her eyes then he removed his sword from her throat.
''Pip, get the horses ready!'' Spike ordered.
''I sold them to buy the stagecoach,'' Faust explained.
''What?'' Spike was surprised by her answer.
''We do not stop progress!'' Faust said while putting on white gloves.
''Progress my ass!'' Spike was seated in the back with the three boys smiling, unlike him.
Spike, Faust, and the Dryad left the city to go to her sanctuary situated in the forest. Once arrived, she stood in front of the group, and the trees moved apart to create a path. Once crossed, the Dryad changed her appearance and returned to a more natural form. Her fingers turned into claws and horns grow on his head with two leaves on one of the horns. The leaves that flew in the sky came behind her to form a vegetable veil at the level of her legs, and Green particles began to fly around her.
''Here we are!'' Our heroes had arrived in front of a huge tree covered with magic inscriptions.They have before them, the tree of life.
''Don't care! Tell me your problem!'' Spike said.
''First, we need to talk to my father!'' The Dryad knelt in front of the tree that opened a few seconds later. Spike took a step, but Faust put his hand on his belly to stop him.
''Lady first!'' Faust entered first under Spike's angry look.
''It official, I hate her!'' Spike said before entering into the tree.
''Where's your father, Woody!'' Spike asked.
''I'm here!'' A tree man appeared in front of them, he was tall, his face covered with foam that formed a beard and he measured a staggering height of 1 meter 10 ... damn!
Everybody was shocked by this revelation, then the Dryad spoke to them.
''I present you my father, Thunderhooves! We call me like this because he likes thunder and hooves!'' The Dyade explained. ''And you can call me Little Strongheart, protector of the tree!''
''It's a pleasure to meet you, we are here to listen to your story,'' Faust explained to the old tree.
''Thank you, sit down while my daughter explains,'' The group sat on the floor and Strongheart explained everything in detail.
''Problems started when men came to our land, their leader, a man named Ragnar came to talk to us, he explained to us what he wanted to do here, he wanted to build a village here, in our forest! He and his men then started to cut trees. My mother, unable to bear this, attacked his men with the help of her brothers and sister. They killed everyone except Ragnard who had run away. We thought we were victorious, but we were wrong! Ragnar returned with a thousand men and began to burn every tree in the forest! After that, he decided to kill all of us! My mother was burned alive for killing his men. Since then I live here with my father, we are the last beings of the forest. I wanted to leave in the explosion, but I'm not very good with explosives!'' Our heroes listen to her story until the end, then went back to the town.
''Boss, you have to do something for her and her father!'' Rumble begged.
''No!'' Spike replied to him.
''WHY!'' Pip yelled.
''Because I don't give a shit about her story! She wants to avenge her peoples! Great, but don't count on me for this one!'' Spike was hard with him because, during his life, he was all alone.
The next day at the hotel, Faust came out of her slumber, she got dressed and went downstairs to take her breakfast downstairs with Spike, who was eating his toast alone.
''Hello...Where are the boys?'' Faust asked.
''I don't know, they got up before me and they left,'' Spike answered.
''I do not like what's going on,'' Faust said while looking at the sun.
The three boys went to the village tavern to fix a problem. Once inside, they headed for the bar while hearing the conversation of a man with red hair like blood.
''You will bring me back the one that blew up my building so that I can do the same with his skull!'' The man said to his friends.
''You can count on us, Ragnar!'' The man said.
''Are you Ragnar?'' Pip asked.
''Who are you?'' Ragnar asked.
''We come to warn you, my friend! You don't do correct things in this city and me and my friends we would like you to stop your shit! Pip explained with his sword under Ragnar's nose.
Ragnar looked at his friend then he grabbed Pip's sword and breaking it with his metal hand.
''Stop my what?!'' Ragnar said with a sadistic smile on his face.
Spike and Faust were about to go looking for the boys when Ragnar's friend arrived with two other companions.
"Hey, bastards!" Ragnar's friend threw at Spike's feet the broken weapons of his travelling companions.
''You must watch your hen house, there are obviously holes in your fence!'' The man said.
''What?'' Spike was surprised by this request because he is not a vulgar peasant.
''Your three chickens wanted to put their beaks in affairs that did not concern them, so we put them in jail for a few days, just to teach them manners!'' after that, they left screaming and laughing.
''I should have smashed his mouth on the ground, I do not like how he speaks to me!'' Spike said to Faust.
''His friends looked sturdy,'' Faust added.
''Good now have to go out these three dumbasses of the prison ... I feel that it will still cost me the skin of the buttocks this story!'' Spike replied.
''Wait a minute! I want to know where they go!'' Faust said.
''And the kids?'' Spike asked.
''Where they are, they don't risk much!'' Faust said while climbing into the stagecoach.
''You're right, it's not going to kill them!''Spike added.
White smoke was rising in the forest, right where the sanctuary of Strongheart was. Our heroes seeing this in the distance decided to speed up to see what was going on. But once arrived, the show they attended was far from fun. Thunderhooves was kneeling in front of his burning shrine, with his daughter nailed to it with an expression of terror on her face dried from the flame.
''Damn!'' Faust took Thunderhooves in her arms, and Spike delicately removed Heart from the sanctuary. Thunderhooves prayed for his daughters before burying her with his brothers, and sisters. A few seconds later, a young tree came out of the ground and Hooves started to cry.
''I am now the last of my kind,'' Thunderhooves sat on the floor and prayed for his salvation.
''I am sure that!!!'' Faust stopped abruptly talking to Hooves, she was trembling, and tears began to run down her cheeks.
''What's wrong?!'' Spike asked.
''The kids...'' Faust fell to his knees and hid her face in her hands.
''What? Tell me!'' Spike grabbed her by the shoulders, and Faust looked straight into his eyes.
''I can hear their cries!'' Faust said.
''MOTHERFUCKER!'' Spike Spike climbed the diligence and went to the city as soon as possible. Once there, he broke down the prison door and took the captain of the guard by the neck.
''WHERE THE FUCKING KIDS!'' Spike yelled.
''They are in the basement, I'll take you there,'' The captain proposed.
''Don't fucking touch me!'' The captain opened the basement, and Spike pushed me to go first inside. Once inside, Spike walked in a long and dusty corridor.
''AAAAHHHHH!''
''PIP!'' Spike ran to his companion in the hope of saving him but was just the opposite.
''Pip! I'm here for y- WHAT THE FUCK!'' Spike found himself in front of Pip who was standing in front of him in blood.
''S-Sorry ARGH!'' A metal hand pulled out of Pip's chest with his heart between his frozen fingers.
''NOOOOOO!'' Spike yelled.
''Funny, his heart's still beating!'' Ragnar smashed Pip's heart in his hand, then he removed it from Pip's lifeless body before talking to Spike again.
''Don't worry, the other two have suffered the same fate. Besides, say hello to them!" Ragnar threw on the floor the heads of Rumble and Button.
''They were not very talkative, they will be even less AHAHAHAHAHAHA!''
''SON OF A BITCH!'' Spike unsheathed his sword, but the captain stabbed him in the back.
''Language!'' Spike was on his knees, Ragnar looked at him and grabbed his war hammer with the same smile from earlier in the bar.
''You impress me! It's not every day that a group of assholes come to my town to ask me to stop my shit and give back the forest to the spirits that I loved burned! Just like the precious sanctuary of your friend, the tree branch. Her mother took my hand, so I took her mother's life and hers. It seems pretty fair to me, isnt'it?'' Spike looked at him with all the hatred of his body.
''Keep this hate for Discord when you see him!'' Ragnar hit him on the skull with his hammer once, then two, and then until his sight is red with blood.
''''OH! Look at him! Taking it like a champ!'' Ragnar hit him several times until his crab exploded under the weight of the hammer. Once done, Ragnar spoke to his man.
''Hang the body at the entrance of the city, it will serve as a message for all those who want to piss me off!'' Ragnar ordered.
''Yes sir!'' The captain took Spike's body from his foot and hung it at the entrance of the city.
''GET OUT!'' The innkeeper threw a young Spike out of the bars with a black eye and a ripped top.
''Screw you!'' Spike said while wiping tears in his eyes.
''Why are you crying, young man?'' A mysterious knight asked.
''Mind your own business!'' Spike replied.
''Always so welcoming, Spike,'' The knight said.
''Barristan!'' Spike ran to him and took him in his arms.
''How are you and ... Why your back is in blood?'' Barristan looked at Spike and Spike showed him his back, there were several lashes, making him bleed.
''Spike, what did you do to deserve this?'' Barristan asked.
''A mercenary insulted you, so I took his sword and threatened him of cutting his throat if he opens his mouth again. The innkeeper grabbed me by the neck and punish me!'' Spike explained to him.
''What did he say?'' Barristan asked.
''Old man!'' Barristan began to laugh.
''Ahahah! Spike, I am an old man. So please, don't get into trouble because of me,'' Barristan said.
''Yes, sir!'' Spike promised.
''Good! Now take this,'' Barristan gave him a package and Spike took it without doing anything.
''Open it!'' Spike opened it and inside, there was a purple leather jacket.
''Damn!'' Spike put it on, but it was too large for him.
''It's dragon leather, I killed it for you!'' Barristan said.
''Really? Thanks!'' For the first time of his life, Spike smiled.
''You're welcome! Now excuse me, but I need to kill a mercenary!'' Barristan went to the inn with his blade on his hand.
Spike looked at the inn, then he turned around and ran into someone.
''Hello darling!'' It was Ragnar with the heads of his fallen companions.
''RAGNAAAAARRRRRR!'' Spike was lying in a cave with a bandage around his right eye. He took it off, revealing a grey eye, Spike stood up and saw Thunderhooves with Faust. They were preparing the dinner.
Spike went to the exit of the cave and looked at the sky.
''how are you, Spike?'' Faust asked.
''Go away!'' Spike said.
''Please, tell me what do you think of this story?'' Faust asked.
''Really?'' Spike said.
''Go ahead,'' Faust replied.
''I wonder what I'm doing here, I don't like what's going on, and I'm thinking about leaving here with this red-haired asshole!'' Spike said.
''You're joking?'' Faust asked.
''Not at all! I find myself as an idiot in this hole for a story I don't give a fuck! So the idea of leaving here is frankly very tempting!'' Faust looked at him shocked, then she grabbed him by the collar and spoke to him.
''Stop complaining like a child who did not have his cake! Everyone is waiting for you to settle this story, and you spend your time complaining about the weather!'' Spike looked at her shocked, then she calmed herself.
''Forgive me!'' Faust begged.
''I discover something, I did not imagine you like that!'' Spike added.
''I told you to forget that, so stop it!'' Faust ordered.
''If this is the divine anger, it makes me laugh softly!'' Spike mocked.
''Do not talk about what you do not know!'' Faust said while pointing him.
''If madam wants to play the '' goddess almighty '' then allow me to make my little crisis of adolescence! I do not know what's going on, but I'm starting to ask questions about your motives in this story! It seems to me that in recent years you had decided to let us leave all alone, so explain to me what made you suddenly change your mind and tell me once and for all why it's me that you chose to piss off!'' Spike asked.
''First you do not know what I've done all these years, and secondly, I do not see why I would justify myself to you!'' Faust explained while leaving Spike alone.
''I think you have no more argument, and I would tell you to be careful because you start to become an old mule!'' Spike yelled.
''I CAN'T HEAR YOU!'' Faust yelled.
Spike was now alone again when Thunderhooves came to see him. He stared at him for several seconds, much to Spike's misfortune.
''Alright! Stop looking at me like that! I'll take care of him!'' Thunderhooves took Spike by the wrist.
''What?'' Spike asked.
''You have chosen a difficult path little dragon, you will need the support of the spirits!'' Hooves explained.
''I don't want the help of the spirits, I want my right hand back!'' Hooves led Spike to the bottom of the cavern while passing from Faust who ignored him. Hooves created an incantation ring with branches of himself then he sprayed sap on Spike's cheek before throwing a leaf into the circle that started to burn, causing a small explosion.
''BOOM'' Discord appeared before them with a naughty little smile on his face.
''A demon? I wanted a lemon!'' Hooves said.
''Go away, demon! Go back to hell! I'm sorry for bothering you!'' Hooves threw acorns at Discord.
''He's a friend, I'll take care of him!'' Spike said.
''So, why do you need my help?'' Discord asked while rubbing his cheek.
''I'm not sure it's the right time, I'm talking to the redhead. If she finds out you're in, she's going to kill me!''
Spike explained.
''Do not worry about that, she is used to it! she knows I'm never far from her, tell me what's bothering you!'' Discord replied.
''I said to the tree trunk that I was going to take care of the redhead, but I do not know how to handle it!''
Spike said.
''Why this question? You are immortal! You stab him with your sword, then you leave him in the desert, and everyone goes home for dinner!'' Discord replied.
''Can I cut him into tiny pieces?!'' Spike asked with a scary smile on his face.
''YEAH!'' Spike's smile disappeared, and Discord spoke to him.
''I understand, you don't want to get your hands dirty?! You want to solve the problem by making peace with Ragnar!'' Discord said.
''Shut up!'' Spike said.
''It's not by shaking his hand that you're going to avenge the girls of the tree!'' Discord added.
''Shut up!'' Spike repeated.
''You're weak, Spike! You're not like Ragnar, or you're old friend Barristan!'' Discord said while representing Ragnar and Barristan with his fingers.
''I'm going to kill you if you don't shut the fuck up!'' Spike unsheathed his sword, and Discord laughed.
''Ah! If you kill me, I could say hello to the boys from you. At that moment, Spike could no longer control his anger and sadness. He took his crossbow and left the cave without even looking at Faust.
''Where is he going?'' Hooves asked.
''He leaves to fulfil the divine punishment!'' Faust replied while shedding a tear for the lost ones.
The town, midnight,
Two Ragnar guards were watching the street in case of attacks.
''So Biff...How are we going to explain to Ragnar that the body is gone?'' The guard asked his friend.
''I don't know, cliff! But I don't want to fell the bite of his hammer on my hea-Splatz!'' A crossbow bolt pierced biff's skull, stopping their conversation.
''BIFF!'' Cliff turned to see the man who killed his friend, and a dozen of bolt nailed him on the wall, dead.
''Nailed it!'' Spike went inside the building and heard strange noises coming from the floor. He went up the stairs and saw an ajar door. He looked inside and saw Ragnar having fun with the woman from the hotel.
''Is it better than your husband? Captain of my balls!'' Ragnar said while shaking her like a bottle.
''YES!'' She yelled.
''Stay there Lovers, I'll be back in a minute!'' Spike ran out of the building to go to the prison. Inside, the captain was polishing his helmet when suddenly someone knocked on the door.
''I'm coming!'' The captain opened the door and was greeted by Spike's blade, piercing him like a knife into the air.
''Never in the back!'' Spike removed his sword from his stomach, and the captain fell to the ground, dead.
Ragnar was standing in front of the window of his room, contemplating his triumph while holding the skull of a dryad, then the captain's wife spoke to him.
''Stay in bed with me, I want you with me!'' She was lying in his bed with the duvet on her body.
''Sorry, but I have to finish what I started! Tomorrow, all spirits, demons, monsters, wizards will tremble when hearing my name! I will be their reckoning!'' Ragnar smashed the skull of the dryad in his metal.
Clap, clap, clap
Ragnar and the captain's wife turned and saw Spike standing in front of them with his crossbow pointed at them.
''And his last words were poetic!'' Spike says, making fun of Ragnar and his envy.
''Impossible, you're dead! I smashed your skull with my hammer!'' Ragnar said.
''That's right, you killed me! Just like Strongheart,'' Spike took a step toward him. ''Pipsqueak, Rumble, and Button,'' Ragnar took a step back. ''But do not worry, I balanced the balance by killing you servants and the captain! Besides, you should leave because Ragnar and I need to talk, ma'am!'' The captain's wife ran out of the room, and Spike took the opportunity to look at her body one last time.
''What do you want from me?'' Ragnar asked.
''This!'' Spike pulled the trigger of his crossbow, and a bolt pierced Ragnar's right leg.
''SON OF A BITCH!'' Ragnar was lying on the ground, swearing.
''Language!'' Spike pulled the trigger again, and this time, the bolt pierced Ragnar's left leg.
''I'm going to kill you like I've killed your friend's!'' Spike looked at him, then he shot him in the arm.
''ARGH!'' Ragnar yelled like a pig in a slaughterhouse.
''Stand up!'' Spike gave him his war hammer, and Ragnar used it as a crutch.
''Even in this state, I'm still able to kill you!'' Blood was flowing from Ragnar's wounds, painting the ground in red.
''Who are you?'' Spike asked.
''Who I am? Don't take me for a fool, son! I'm the man who created this town! I'm the man who eradicated the Dryads! I'M THE MAN WHO KILLED YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS! I AM RAGNAR THE RED!!!'' Ragnar lifted his hammer in the hope of killing him, but Spike pulled the trigger without holding back. in the end, Ragnar was no more than a human quiver.
''You were!'' Spike retrieved his hammer and left without looking at Ragnar's corpse.
Sanctuary, 10 minutes later.
Spike entered the sanctuary and walked to Hooves who prayed at his daughter's grave. Spike looked at him and handed him Ragnar's hammer.
''Blood for blood, honour above all, I can now die in peace!'' Hooves put the hammer on the floor and prayed one last time. His body started to disapear into particles of light that once fell to the ground, a young tree appeared. Spike was now alone in this sanctuary that was alive again. He left the sanctuary and saw Faust waiting for him in the coach.
''Where do you want to go now?'' Faust asked.
Spike looked at Ragnar's hammer then spoke.
''I think I need a vacation on an island far from here!'' Spike climbed into the stagecoach, and they left with the sun in the back and with Discord watching them with the spirits of their lost friends.
Ending
